วีดีโอ

I would like to know what’s your diet like, does being autistic has any effect on it? And btw your skin looks so good. 🖤

Thank you for this 😭your vulnerability saved so many ppl so quickly you don’t even know….. I am struggling to get my autism diagnosis as a single mom so I have been unemployed.. now I have an interview Friday and I am worried about exactly what you have been talking about in this video……. Or I will say a bunch of words that I assume gets my point across and they will understand something entirely different and I’ll have yet another scary job experience

My mom said i was very well-behaved as a toddler i would just sit when I was put down and i was very emotional i cried a lot for no reason

Thanks for posting this video. I really relate to exactly to everything you said. Especially here 2:27 I’ve always thought about that. Being nervous in interviews makes this even worse. I’m wondering if you have ADHD too? Whether stimulants help with that. I’m being prescribed my medication in 2 weeks and I look forward to experience the difference in how they would help me with interviews. I’m currently looking for jobs and this struggle is all I can think about…. One thing I think might help is PRACTICE, not just by yourself, but actual real interviews, do as many as you can with reasonable amount of preparation (don’t over-prepare) because this is like exposure therapy, the more you’re exposed to something the less fearful you are of that thing. Being less fearful of judgement (therefore less nervous) will help so much with how structured and streamlined your thoughts are. On top of that, doing as many interviews gives you the experience that makes you familiar with questions and how to answer them as you’ve reflected on and learned from many past interviews. Best of luck. You got this!! 💪

Being self aware and getting on top of it right away is very useful. When I've pushed things I notice that my sensitivities to external stimuli like sounds (hearing quiet sounds and becoming annoyed) or lights (LED lights become very bright and blinding) affect me more. Very relateable video, thank you for sharing.

I now absolutely don't want to LOOK autistic

Fellow Kiwi here! (It's always nice finding Kiwi creators here on YT 🙂) I'm undiagnosed but I'm really starting to think I have autism too. It would explain A LOT, as I seem to be able to relate to most of the struggles of autistic people that I've been learning about so far. I'm a guy but I am quite conventionally attractive, as well as being a classic men's style enthusiast who enjoys dressing to the nines just for fun, so I couldn't blame someone for looking at me and thinking I must have it all together, not realising what a train wreck my brain is haha 😹👍

My best friend gets a lot of that, I don't as much because either fortunately or unfortunately, I "look" more "visibly autistic", people can tell with me a lot of the time but not as much her. She hates how people make assumptions about her, about me, and about the nature of our friendship. They often assume that she has a caretaker role for me and don't understand that we're two autistic women who truly "get" each other and have tons of inside jokes the rest of the world doesn't understand.

Yeah music is a big one for me to bring out emotions.

😗💓💓💓

I believe you. When dealing with someone like that you have to sometimes (often) say no and wait until they ask again to make sure they really want. That need to comply can also be exarbeted by a fear of rejection. Dealing with someone with autism particularly if that person have any comorbidity is very hard. If you don't watch yourself you can end up abusing that person pretty badly, their fear of rejection would bring them to ask for things they don't really want simply to please. Say no if they ask for something not align with their best interests but that benefits you. Also that person would have very disturbing behavior and reaction about stuff that appear minor to us (Noise for example) To an average uneducated mind those reaction appear extremely exagerrated and absolutely inappropriate so the "punishment" or "anger" feel by those around would be pretty intense. Again say no ! No to the reaction buy don't over react or punish, they would simply be damaged by your own incapacity to cope. I suspect autism people that appear fonctionnnal are more likely to develop comorbidity for the reason that they are constantly abuse and pretty badly by those around them who constantly expect "normal behavior" The autism is harwired very often the second or others comorbidity are develop by a harsh environment wich ultimately make that person even more disfonctionnal. This is a sad state of affair. It is far better to remove yourself from that person life if you can't manage things well. But avoid punishment and over reacting, it only cause further problem. Punishing an autistic mind that suffer from other grave comorbidity is the equivalent of torturing a blind for not seeing. It is plain cruel and unnecessary. The problem is that some appear very normal wich make the abuse they receive far worst. Such a person need special assistance and a very patient and caring environment. The advancements of science will bring healing to those tortured mind in the comming decades.

“I live in adrenaline.” 🙌🏻 No wonder we can read our own body’s signals/our emotions!!

Interesting video; you've got some good alexithymia techniques.

Thanks for the video, as a kiwi have you heard of MiriMiri?

Elena, you’ve seriously outdone yourself with this one! The way you break down Alexithymia-especially how we tuck away our needs in some hidden corner of our mind-is absolutely spot on. I’ve been reflecting on that for a while, but the way you articulated it just nailed it perfectly. It’s already changing the way I think about my own experience, and I’m 100% going to use this in my future therapy sessions with autistic clients. The emotion chart idea is brilliant too! I downloaded it immediately, but I also use ChatGPT for this, like a coach, to test my emotions, and together, both tools are game-changers for self-reflection. Also, your b-roll is fantastic! Whether it’s your personal footage or the little memes and sounds you sprinkle throughout, it’s like dopamine for my ADHD brain. The SpongeBob sound effect-perfection! Your attention to these details, like the vibe, the music, the subtitles, everything, gives the right hits at the right time and keeps the engagement going. You’re creating something really special here, and every video keeps building on the last. It’s not just insightful, it’s deeply needed in our community. You’ve got such a powerful way of making these concepts clear and relatable. I seriously can’t wait to see where you’re headed with this because it’s already incredible to witness the growth and dedication. Keep it up! You’re doing something really meaningful, and I’m so excited to be along for the ride. 💛

Amazing video 💙

Your friend's reaction is wild.

I've been watching a lot of different autistic content creators lately and I notice that autism manifests different in everyone. I'm also into personality typing and I notice certain personality types have problems with alexithymia but they wouldn't necessarily call it that, they might just say that they're out of touch with their emotions. Please feel free to ignore this but maybe check out objective personality typing, they have a youtube channel. I think your personality type might be an ENTJ and maybe that's contributing to, or perhaps adds another layer to your experience of alexithymia and autism.

I've never been able to manage friendships well. I'm down to only one that lives halfway across the country. Whenever i find myself with a chance to socialize my own voice startles me so much. It's confusing who i am around others, people pleasing desires fighting with no ducks to give makes me feel two faced.

I definitely have found value in this new perspective. I have struggled the last year and a half after learning psychology and the nature of the autism spectrum disorder, around the time of also finishing my studies for the first state examination in law, to the point of developing anhedonia and walking out the court, in front of which everyone was in party mood, with extreme lacklustreness in spite of the grandiose result in one of the hardest professional examinations existing for civilians, apparently because of getting used to conceive alexithymia or lacking feelings too fatalistically as them being a consequence of not being receptive to social cues, lacking mirror neurons, so that if the mum comforts the autistic child he does not react warmly, and your approach (11:40-12:17) of imagining yourself to be your parent would not work out. Now you have taught me a new causality: it is behaviour learnt for the purpose of suppressing needs or their expression to others and oneself if they cannot be met. Gotta keep grinding for two years though, not affording a yet unexperienced meltdown or shutdown or newly discovered special needs, to pass the second state examination so I can be a full lawyer and meet all needs from the fees, though anhedonia has to be lifted quite a bit already for remotivation. I have spent the last half year trying to restructure my personality and gather the missing keys. Navigating the foggy neurotypical world requires expert knowledge if you are autistic and tick all boxes of a schizoid already due to isolating for your special learning, except that you have the cognitive dexterity not to be inflexible. Cognition thirsts without affective substrate to see and you scratch at a chicken-or-egg problem when you have no idea how to proceed. Seeing the right causality helps to untangle the problem complex.

This is really lovely! I would like to chime in that at a certain point, there is a need to make a switch in the relationship with how you are feeling. From that puzzle solving, interlectual mindset to maybe a more intuitive one. At least I feelt the deep need to do this, is order to grow closer to myself and process my emotions. Dancing was really helpfull for me here (as well as long runs).

❤

Hope all is well gorgeous

Welcme back Elena Emotional constipation is a very apt discription of the build up of intensity and emotions; its so hard to push through them or release. Even harder i imagine in a new environment when you need to keep calm to get things done *I applaud you* This is another great video with helpful insight 🙂

i talk to myself all the time, but not like you are outlining. I have also never felt burnt out, but i do have a solid core of anger and it also has/had an instability in it, that has not flared up in quite some time.

My husband keeps telling me why what I feel is “normal” and how everyone feels what I feel to some extent. It is so frustrating when I am trying to explain how I feel, and the difficulties I am experiencing. I am 51, and have just in the last year come to the conclusion that I am most likely Autistic, even though I don’t have a diagnosis. So much of what I hear in this community resonates completely with me and explains so much about my life and how I function.

@AyumiOfficial love you, sis check this 💜

This was so important to hear and brought back painful memories. I'm sorry you had to grow through what you went through, and I hope you are freed from it

You are spot on! I know this because I am the same as you in dealing and understanding Autism. although, I could use some improvement with my masking. Wow! This is the best I have heard anyone explain (myself) it perfectly!

I’m diagnosed with autism at 50 years old I’m feeling my whole life different from other people always struggles with working and other things I have always hated it by the way you are a lovely young woman!

I worked in a self development project for young adults as a coach for 4 months, I really liked some aspects of the job and the colleagues were so kind. But after a month or so, I just couldn't keep up the masking anymore and grew more and more anxious in the many social interactions I had to have. I would be so overwhelmed when I went home, my whole body and brain buzzing. I'd go straight to the pub in my hometown and drink, a lot of whisky... and I usually don't drink at all. I also couldn't take care of myself or do my household chores anymore. When they asked me to continue working for them for the next group and also take up an extra group to work with I just couldn't, so I said no. I felt so bad and weak and failing as a human being.

I was actually feeling a bit of limerence while watching your video. Then at 7:44 you put on your glasses and I was in love. TH-cam videos of attractive autistic woman talking about autism is my new special interest :)

I think autistic content creators get a lot of disbelief and pushback because they rarely share the extent to which they struggle. Instead they tend to glamorize autism, which is kind of like glamorizing being deaf.

That last bit is very real; supermarket checkouts are a nightmare!

Im not a female but i recognize this very much like almost 1 to 1. Thank you so much for making the video.

My neurologist is awesome. I'm a HSP with cebral nerve disconnect, so I overlap with Autistic sensory overload. At the moment I'm so emotionally burnt out. I'm tired of masking. I'm tired of dealing with people who don't get it. Thank you for this video. Hugs 🤗

Questioning if you are a narcissist is also a big theme in ocd

I wish I'd known about limerence when I was younger, it might've saved me from being gaslit by a narcissist into a dark place. Luckily, I survived the experience and things turned out OK in the end.

Yes , I very much relate to this. I absolutely hate it when people watch over my shoulder as I do something, I just can't do it unless I have the space to do it unobserved.

when there is the change in plan I am completely out of order for next 3 days 🤣 I know it s not funny but I truly am :DD

oh my god. i'm baffled. you've started my journey into understanding female autism

thank you so much. i've been diagnosed with adhd and cptsd and have been toying with the idea that i might also be autistic. this video i really resonate with and i wanna get tested for autism. thank you for sharing your story! i related to every thing you said and have questioned the same things

Fuck! I just realised I have been like this since childhood, I have always been misdiagnosed, with either it’s extreme anxiety or bipolar. I even have an eating disorder, but I think it has more to do with Autism. This made me cry so much, this is how I feel every day. It's tough to be different.

I can't relate to fawning at all but I really appreciate this perspective. Thank you.

💕

Yes, I'm in my 60's and I still don't quite believe people lie deliberately. Intellectually I know it happens, but it doesn't seem logical and it takes me soooo long to click when it happens. Somehow I've managed to survive without being taken advantage of too badly, but I do have to work hard at reminding myself to check if what I hear is true.

I just found you through Orion and this is the first video I am watching. Now I did expect this to be emotional content for me hence why I picked up doing chores while listening to it, but I definitely did not expect to be crying over ironing clothes at midnight 😂❤ You are so right about how meaningful it is to share your experience to those of us who are alone and misunderstood. You have provided me with words for the struggles around career that I've been looking for, thank you so much. I do hope this works out for you as a full time!

Yes I have a hard time relating with a lot of other autistic because I consider myself a conservative Christian. I look very straight edge with no hair coloring, tattoos, or piercings. I guess it’s a stereotype.

Thanks for sharing your experience. I’m 27 and in a similar boat. Been struggling for a while with shame of not being where I feel like others are at this point. I have two interviews today, and I’m really nervous. This video made me feel less alone. ❤

I found them to be a bit plasticky feeling. I wish it was a softer type silicone. And I feel like there needs to be a size between xxs and xs - feels too small / too big. I wore them once and haven't tried again since. I do have a set of noise cancelling headphones though which are fantastic in the office to cancel out office noises and other people talking.