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Have you spoken before about the "misdiagnoses"?

8:20 That sounds exactly like BPD behavior. Not saying you have (or don't have) BPD. It's just that cutting people off out of fear that they leave first, is a way of gaining back control (even though perhaps there never was any loss of control in the first place).

Thank you so much for the video, this has been such a prevalent problem in my life and I really relate.

what is love but reciprocated limerence?

hmmmmm i think the supportive response you got from your employer when you mentioned your neurodivergence has more to do with them being worried about being sued for discrimination or cancelled online than respecting your integrity. i guess that's the benefit of being diagnosed (or telling people you are) though. people feel obligated to be tolerant when they otherwise wouldn't.

Your a smart girl Elena, when love happens you will know it, never underestimate yourself

"You can't be autistic because you are male and only women present autism they way you do." -- That I feel is my life when I look at the modern representation of autism. It's like we are repeating the past mistake of only white boy autism, but now we have found a way to punish all the undiagnosed men that represent their AuDHD softly like women.

i resonated with this, but i'm not so sure if i resignated with it...

Elena-I was diagnosed with Autism last year. You're not alone.

Took awhile to get around to watching, would be great for her to focus more on the neurodivergence issues over and above the reality television issues. It was really good to hear how they made her act out certain ADHD things and thus not presenting how she would actually present (which makes things difficult for us to watch and start feeling like an imposter). Even with that, it was really good to see her presenting her own unique elements.

Elena, I’ve only watched about half of your new video so far, and there’s already so much I want to respond to. The depth and thoughtfulness you put into your content is incredible. Right now, I’m coming out of a period of autistic burnout and still struggling to find the right words to fully express how much I appreciate what you’re doing. Your video is so rich that it sends my mind off in a thousand directions, and I need the mental space to process it all. Just know that even if I can’t fully engage with every detail at this moment, I’m so grateful for your work. Seeing a new video from you in my subscription feed always makes me happy, and I love learning about your experiences and perspectives. Please keep going-you’re doing something truly meaningful here. Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have a wonderful, gentle holiday season.

Hi Elena! I feel the same thing.I am thriving when my neighbors are on holidays even if they do not always see me,but the absence of all presence let's me be really myself

My chances went from 0 to -100 Feels like a thanos snap.

Excellent interview! I noted a lot of speculation, and I always asked how they knew that information.

“The world is always right, I’m always the one getting it wrong” man oh man oh man - another Elena with autism

It is kinda insane to me how much of a similar situation I am to you. Comforting in a way :)

Usually girls don't get diagnosed its mainly just guys. I have aspergers myself. I don't like referring to myself as "autistic" or "level 1 autism" as I feel it does a disservice to actual autistic people. Still awkward with the stimming and such but ya. They need to be treated with more respect us too but more so them 😀

Beautiful video. Thanks for sharing! <3 I'm also born in 96, turned 28 two months ago. It was only a couple of months ago I started to realize I might have a mix of adhd and autism. I've always felt different. Have never really been able to put my finger on why. Almost like I'm outside a sphere that everyone else is inside of. Looking in on it. Almost as if I were at a zoo. I'd be watching the animals. Thinking it's a bit interesting and/or silly. Not really wanting to partake. Just content watching, pondering. Then I leave and move on with my day. (not calling other people animals at a zoo. Just trying to illustrate my feeling.) That is not to say that I don't enjoy social interactions or close relationships. Quite frankly, I love them. They make me feel fulfilled. I just don't care about a lot of the fuzz surrounding it. I just wanna connect deeply with people. To the core connections. Preferably day one(joking not joking). I am fortunate enough to have a couple of relationships like this. But outside of those, I struggle really hard with social interactions and the social dancing needed for it. I always saw myself as being good at resisting peer pressure. But writing this message I had a small realization that maybe, that's not it at all. I'm extremely gullible and malleable. Maybe "typical" peer pressure just doesn't affect me because I simply just don't understand it. I relate a lot to the being shy but not really being shy. I have never really felt shy. Just very clueless. And when I'm clueless I just stay quiet. Almost as if, a moment of selective mutism. - more so when I was a child, but it still happens occasionally - From the fear of doing the wrong thing for the situation at hand, maybe. Not knowing what I should do or what is expected of me. So I just get stuck in inaction. Maybe that's just being shy, I honestly don't know, lol. I've also been worried and still are some days that I'm a narcissist or a sociopath - a thought that scare the shit out of me and makes me feel disgusted of myself - But hearing someone else(and reading in the comments) of people having had similar thoughts is gonna make me feel more relaxed in moments of these, lets call them doubts. This turned into a ramble. My chest feel a little bit lighter now. If someone read this, thanks <3 If not, that's cool too, I still got to vent, lol.

I was diagnosed at age 5

a while back I learnt a really interesting statistic that in England and Wales, less than 20% of autistic adults are in full-time employment, and less than 50% work at all. this isn't because all of us are so disabled that we incapable of working, it's that a lot of us really struggle to integrate seamlessly into that system like everyone else does. like you mention the job interview; in England we have the Equal Opportunities Act, and so if you tick the box on your application that says "I have a disability", the law says you are guaranteed an interview. on paper this sounds like it works to get disabled people back into employment. but in practice, it can often work AGAINST you to notify an employer that you have a disability, particularly an invisible disability/mental health issues that may have caused you to be out of work for a while. jobseeking is a competitive environment. as an employer, are you going to take on an experienced hire fresh from a position at a similar job and no flagged health issues, or take a risk on a potentially unstable worker who has some gaps in their CV and may need extra attention to accommodations? not to mention that in so much of this process you are literally *expected* to lie, and the more enthusiasm you can pull off (whether it's real or not), the more attractive you seem to the employer. the whole system is bizarre and difficult to understand as an autistic person. going through interview after interview to hear nothing back, being hounded by the DWP, the process is humiliating and grinds you down. employment is one of the most challenging areas for us on so many levels. a lot of us get trapped on welfare without the proper support to move forwards into employment we can cope with, and that can cope with us. I feel forgotten by my government. I have been trying to go self-employed for years but it is a HUGE risk to take, as you lose most of your support then and it's a nightmare getting it back.

I'm in your boat too!

I like your fingernails.

The way you described your experience of Autism...so many beautiful qualities... I would even say spiritual 💖

I’m nearly 18. Was diagnosed with (level 2) autism a year ago and adhd (combined) literally 2 months ago. I’m a girl so I was obviously overlooked for that. What’s the most depressing for me is the mourning process of it all. Realising I was treated badly because of my neurodivergent behaviour and being angry for my younger self. Getting mistreated by my school when I was diagnosed and they outright refused accommodations for me but gave it to the autistic boys (they had a weird thing against the autistic/adhd girls in my school). Realising I can’t do certain things like get a normal job or drive. It’s very frustrating. And people just expect you to move on quickly from it like you didn’t just get the jaw dropping news your actually disabled and never knew until you hit the age where your an adult and can barely get support for it now.

47 and not officially diagnosed.. but that’s because it’s expensive and where I’m at there’s no help to be had anyway.. so I went through my life with a magnifying glass and everything made sense … but I’ve become a hermit as a result because I don’t want to burden others and put myself in bad situations just like on the past when I don’t know better

Your not alone pretty lady, 43 years old,only found out about my Syndrome few years ago, but dealt with it over 4 decades. Never really gets any easier, some things you can improve on others no matter how hard you try you it will not let you improve on it. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps others. God bless you on your journey's

Just rushing through this comment before I take hours to react or not react at all (yep). This is all só relatable. Honestly lol, I'm 29 now and got my diagnosis at 12, so 17 freakin' years. Lack of knowledge about autism back in the day and being too young at my part, I did not compute what this meant at the time. Yeah, I'm kind of different but still capable of the same as everyone else, right? And only now realising that I've been pushing myself way beyond what is healthy for me (highly masking), my entire life. The realization of all autistic traits, constant reflection, experiences of being misunderstood, doubting myself and double checking everything. Telling myself 'you can do everything they can at least equally good ór better'. Achieved everything I ever wished for myself only to find out I'm not in a great spot right now... But fighting now to make that better. Accepting yourself for who you are and embracing everything you are capable of is so difficult in this world. I'm glad 'our' community exists nowadays, makes me feel less of an alien and more of an actual human being, worthy of existing. I know I'll be burnt out for a couple of months unfortunately, but it'll get better... And for everyone here, you are amazing! Be kind to yourself and proud of every small thing you achieved the last few days. We all deserve some love and understanding ❤

Hey, hey, hey! I think I know you! 😀 Are you from New Zealand...? Were you active on TH-cam at any point between 2010 and 2018?? It's been ages, I can't pinpoint the exact year, forgive me... 😅

An idea: After we get diagnosed we should be provided coaching or therapy for 6 months and at the end of it we get a paper that is an overview of our personal spectrum that includes a personalized list of accommodations and recources like "use headphones in grocery stores, avoid masking after 6 pm, meltdown survival check-list" And we get a revision every 2 years like prescriptions for eyeglasses or something.

Seeing the ''good'' in people is very very very hard for me. Eh mabey one day....

I have been diagnosed at age 15(currently 17 now), I expected it as many people would joke about me being handicapped. No one knows for sure except my psychiatrist and parents, I have refused almost all help(excluding weekly therapy and anti-depressants) due to the fear of being looked down upon(even though im currently masking a clown personality and it def doesn't help).Most friendships I have don't feel honest as 90% of the time i don't tell them what i have on my mind unless its an useless joke and i get so invested in social interactions that I may think about them all day.I'm currently having a gf which i honestly don't even like(even though she does) and I only do it since I don't want to be a virgin/unmarried or never kiss a girl since I've mostly seen people like this be looked down upon.I can't even bring myself to interact with the people i like or do things i actually enjoy because they are looked down upon or because of procrastination.

I am autistic. There are no tools that can smooth your relationship with other people. If you try to learn them, build them, copy them, etc., you will be attempting to reshape your nature. Someone who is constitutionally different cannot reformulate themselves to stop being different. One can try, but this endeavor involves the destruction of your true nature. Society will distrust you. Always. It is the instinctive reaction of most individuals toward an autistic person. They try to categorize you quickly, and either they cannot do it, or they do and then find contradictions. The fact that they cannot categorize you means that you could eventually be seen as dangerous or unmanageable. There is no way out. I live being autistic and bewildering people. And in many cases, causing their distrust.

A day on earth Every day I see the world I am forever amazed by its unending wonders And all the beauty of everything around me Each blade of grass, every pebbles, shoot and twigs Drops of dew as diamonds in the morning sun The fresh scent of renewed hope in the early breath The promises of life awoken Riches and abundance and rewards near I am so very small - this world so big Though I look and look I cannot see very far But I can see I belong here That I belong to here The new day also brings hurdles and sorrow Streams to cross, treacherous and menacing covers I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along In this immeasurable field I call home And no matter the dangers and the threats However unkind the weather and cold the nights And the friends lost and the dark days I am grateful for this ground I walk on I am the life given to me Like a voice needs a listener And the dream a dreamer This earth comes alive under my tiny little feet I am bound to it as it is to me I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along Small and defenceless, sometimes scared and unsure But trusting and confident in this moment Today, there is nowhere else I would rather be Here and now I belong To this life given to me I am a voice, I am a dream, I am a breath I am just a little mouse

Tip from older Aspie. You will get things wrong. You will say the wrong thing. You will do the wrong thing. Neurotypicals will also get things wrong, say the wrong thing, do the wrong thing. The younger you are the more you may do this. You live and learn. After a while you realize I’m just going to say dumb stuff from time to time but life goes on. Try to focus on mindfulness and relaxation now while you’re young to reduce the unnecessary anxiety.

Try being diagnosed at nearly double the age you were. Although that being said, you get better at masking the older you get. Assuming enough IQ is there because you just spend every minute of every day observing others and adding new rules into your mind of if X happens I do Y etc. So since recently finding out I’m autistic (Aspie in old language), I don’t know who I am because I have masked my entire life. I don’t even know where I would begin to unmask to be honest. All I know is that it’s exhausting, and alone time is always needed to recharge. Although I’m lucky to have my amazing husband, found later in life, who I can spend time with in my alone time.

didn't get my license till 19. While everyone else was getting it when they were still in school, I was just terrified and knew I had to wait till I finished. The worst part was people would be like "oh you're 16 now you can finally get your license, how exciting!" umm.. not at all. I dreaded this day my whole life and had recurrent nightmares as a child of being behind the wheel and losing control. I finally learnt when I was at uni, but even then I remember, my first few lessons with my dad, I cried every day and thought that I would just never be able to drive. Now, at age 21, I have my license, but am still terrified of going to unfamiliar places. I take the same roads I am familiar with every day, to different places, even if it means it takes longer. oh and talk about driving communication skills? don't understand it at all. How do I know if a person is giving way, waiting for my carpark spot etc., soooo complicated.

I would really like to know what people think autism "looks" like wtf.

I cried watching this video... oh how I related to all these things soooo much! And btw I also thought I was a narcissist after studying psychology lol.

Wait until you're 38, like me 😅 it doesn't get any better only worse. Sorry but it's the truth

This was very helpful for me...I relate a lot. I'm 35 and I still don't drive. anyways... btw you are very beautiful 🥰

Thank you Elena… I was at the gym about to have a breakdown when I decided to put on my headphones and finally watch your video which I had bookmarked. I was feeling so much social anxiety and feeling like a complete failure. This made me want to cry in a whole different way. I feel relief in knowing that these struggles which I have too are not my fault. Things don’t feel hard just because. They ARE incredibly hard. And I don’t give myself nearly enough compassion or empathy for the effort I have had to put in to keep living this confusing life. Just because people don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not real. 🩵

I am also struggling to belong. I am fortunate in that I have a wonderful supportive wife and kids and I was able to retire early from IT, when burnout seemed never ending. I only self diagnosed a year ago at age 58 but researched for 19 months leading up to this. My unmasking has gonr well but I describe it to my wife as internally happier with myself than I have ever been but externally, its even tougher. One avenue I found that is really helpful is with kids. I provide support to 2 autistic kids and a down syndrome little guy. He is amazing. If he ruled the world no one would fight. Anyway, its a privilege to witness these kids grow into themselves and they give me so much hope for their communities in the upcoming years. Anyway, I am in USA. I am not sure if you have looked into this field at all or even if its one you would consider. I am absolutely sure you will be amazing at what you choose to do and I hope you realize all your dreams in Canada. Although as someone who grew up in South Africa I am a little wary of you and your All Blacks so please don't be dreaming about beating the Springboks. 😀. I can not imagine you enjoying rugby so this last topic seems ridiculous. But NZ triggers "All Blacks" in my little brain.

We are accurate and precise thinking people living in and navigating an inaccurate and imprecise world

I was diagnosed last year with autism. You're not alone

Hello Elena. I'm an Neurodivergent individual and I can totally relate to your video, I've been unemployed for over a year now. Watching in 🇬🇧 ❤ your cap.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, late diagnosed at 52. I spent a lot of my life up until now masking, pushing through, and stumbling along as best I could. I suspect I hit burnout as it became exhausting, then self diagnosed before receiving the official diagnosis. There's a lot to unpack.

Job interview. I have had latest job for past 23 years. Before that intermittent employment. I got an education in my special interest. Once that education was done still intermittent employment. Contract job for 2 years. Then applied for job. I masked up good and went to the interview. It was difficult as every interview. Didn't get the job. The employer put new job same areas just more entry level. I applied again got another interview. This time I just didn't feel like masking. I went into the interview my authentic full autistic self. I just let my special interest go and talked about it in great detail. In this interview I did most of the talking barely giving them time ask questions. I got the call the next expecting another rejection but no got the job. 3 years later I was on interview team to hire for my old position after getting promoted. Waiting the person show for intervene the HR lady who there for my interview start talking to about my interview 3 years ago. Told me it was strangest interview she's ever been in. She was present for both first and second. After the interview she was wondering if I was the same person they interview 2 months earlier. That I seemed go from timid and not very knowledgeable to confident and an expert. What I learned here is masks don't work in interviews, just be me and my autistic self and all. It's work very well for me. This is me though and not saying it will work for others but it helps 1 person that's great.

Would it be easier to think of Autism as part of who you are, rather than a condition?

I was diagnosed in grade 3, pretty much the same. Here's you are, you have Asperger's. That's what I was diagnosed with in 1980. So looked up in the encyclopedia and it have bit on Dr. Asperger's children which really didn't give me much information. The psychologist never told me anything but he talked to teachers about therapies to apply to me to get me behavior like normal person. Parents didn't believe the diagnosis either.

We live in the same city❤ autism strength! 💪🏽