An idea: After we get diagnosed we should be provided coaching or therapy for 6 months and at the end of it we get a paper that is an overview of our personal spectrum that includes a personalized list of accommodations and recources like "use headphones in grocery stores, avoid masking after 6 pm, meltdown survival check-list" And we get a revision every 2 years like prescriptions for eyeglasses or something.
Everything you said! Having your first instinct be to distrust your instincts. Ugh. All day, every day. Feeling like an alien. Naivety, and failing to learn from past mistakes (which I guess illustrates failure to generalize - an autistic trait). Slow processing. Not knowing who I am. As for relationships, I have been trying to build my confidence back up by learning to ask myself what I want (not just what I am expected to do) and then validating my feelings and taking action accordingly. It sounds so basic, but when you’ve gaslit yourself your whole life, there are layers and layers of smoke obscuring the view.
I was diagnosed in 1997. This year I started my alone arc. Linguistics says that autism is the ability to be able to live on one's own. Life is on easy mode right now 😄
Elena, I am really interested what you have to say, but I cannot stand the editing. But hey, I am autisic ;). I think your videos woul imprive so much when you did them unedited, good as they are, as you are.
@@stevencito1000oh, intriguing! I actually LOVE her editing, it grabs & keeps, (which is a feat given my ADHD) my attention. I know sometimes I just listen if a YT video isn’t what I need, but I see how you wanna be able to watch, too.
I know it’s hard for everyone with a late diagnosis but it’s a matter of perspective of what late is. Realising I was autistic at 63 and being diagnosed at 64, (I am now approaching 67) it is very hard. Being diagnosed as an elder we don’t feel we have much to look forward. We have already worked our whole life, got married brought up children and fumbled our way through so many things we did not understand. I was always very poor at masking and when I was diagnosed with level 2 autism it made a lot of sense. I gradually stopped masking because I sucked at it anyway thus the decades of abuse and ridicule for being different. I do not mask my autistic traits now and would rather someone make fun of me than ever do it again. I just do not care what they think anymore, I am to too tired and haven’t got the time to live my life out that way. I now mostly live as a recluse with my spouse of 26 years. Regardless I have had a successful life but it came at a big price to my mental health, as I have general and social anxiety disorder and C-PTSD
I discovered an autism diagnosis at 43. It's a process of destructing ableist mindsets and reintegrating suppressed autistic traits. Finding a therapist with autism has been precious.
I’m nearly 18. Was diagnosed with (level 2) autism a year ago and adhd (combined) literally 2 months ago. I’m a girl so I was obviously overlooked for that. What’s the most depressing for me is the mourning process of it all. Realising I was treated badly because of my neurodivergent behaviour and being angry for my younger self. Getting mistreated by my school when I was diagnosed and they outright refused accommodations for me but gave it to the autistic boys (they had a weird thing against the autistic/adhd girls in my school). Realising I can’t do certain things like get a normal job or drive. It’s very frustrating. And people just expect you to move on quickly from it like you didn’t just get the jaw dropping news your actually disabled and never knew until you hit the age where your an adult and can barely get support for it now.
I’m 28 too ❤ I so relate to your experiences.. I’ve had to live with no friends or support several times and looking back those have been the most peaceful times for me (though not always the happiest) and I felt most free . we were made the way we were because this world deserves variety. Don’t validate others drop their ball and hold on tightly to your own. You’ll always be here for you 😊 it’s very harsh at first when you realize how neglect is so normalized ☔️ it is challenging though day by day I think we autistics learn to love this world as deeply as anyone else.
Elena, I’ve only watched about half of your new video so far, and there’s already so much I want to respond to. The depth and thoughtfulness you put into your content is incredible. Right now, I’m coming out of a period of autistic burnout and still struggling to find the right words to fully express how much I appreciate what you’re doing. Your video is so rich that it sends my mind off in a thousand directions, and I need the mental space to process it all. Just know that even if I can’t fully engage with every detail at this moment, I’m so grateful for your work. Seeing a new video from you in my subscription feed always makes me happy, and I love learning about your experiences and perspectives. Please keep going-you’re doing something truly meaningful here. Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have a wonderful, gentle holiday season.
This video has me wondering how I would go about starting an International Support Network for Autistic Adults. There really isn't much out there, other than the communities we've built for ourselves. I truly believe that we deserve better, we just need to do it ourselves, only on a much larger scale..
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, late diagnosed at 52. I spent a lot of my life up until now masking, pushing through, and stumbling along as best I could. I suspect I hit burnout as it became exhausting, then self diagnosed before receiving the official diagnosis. There's a lot to unpack.
it is, we are outlier and just cant really fit in with the system/society in general unless we performing. but too much performing and you dont know yourself anymore
It's gotten to a point, where I can't even be around my family for more than a few minutes at a time. Being alone even if it is painful is the way to go for me
Omg you just described what I couldn’t understand about myself perfectly. I love my family and my one friend a lot but I need lots of alone time, it makes me depressed cuz I like being around them but I genuinely can’t socialise for more then 20 minutes without feeling like crap after that amount of time and retreating to my room. I suffer with insomnia and fatigue from my autism and adhd so I generally have less energy aswell. I like to imagine I’ll have a friend circle with people who like me, or even a girlfriend one day but realistically I know it wouldn’t make me happy because it requires me to socialise which I really don’t like. So being alone looks like the way for me aswell ❤
🙏💜 thank you for this video... so true... same feelings. Late diagnosis at 41... so tired... Learning to feel my own needs and respect myself, healing the traumas... To be naive and have difficulties to navigate... Learning to not see the best in everyone but to put limits and to test... To protect a sacred intimate territory wich is kind and more safe... Take care Elena and thank you... 🦋
I can relate to this a lot, I was diagnosed this year (I’m 25) and one of my biggest struggles has always been “people confidence” or essentially being able to constantly sell myself as what the world deems “capable”. Thanks for this :)
Great video Alina. And very articulate. I think it’s a good thing that you don’t bring your past negative experiences with certain people into new situations with other people. We should all learn to judge everyone individually not by any preconceived standards.
Also I didn’t learn to drive till I was 20, which was behind my peers who learned as soon as they were 17. I had no interest in it and was happy with public transport. I do like driving but it’s stressful and I often don’t have the energy now to do that and then attend the thing and then drive home so I don’t
Just rushing through this comment before I take hours to react or not react at all (yep). This is all só relatable. Honestly lol, I'm 29 now and got my diagnosis at 12, so 17 freakin' years. Lack of knowledge about autism back in the day and being too young at my part, I did not compute what this meant at the time. Yeah, I'm kind of different but still capable of the same as everyone else, right? And only now realising that I've been pushing myself way beyond what is healthy for me (highly masking), my entire life. The realization of all autistic traits, constant reflection, experiences of being misunderstood, doubting myself and double checking everything. Telling myself 'you can do everything they can at least equally good ór better'. Achieved everything I ever wished for myself only to find out I'm not in a great spot right now... But fighting now to make that better. Accepting yourself for who you are and embracing everything you are capable of is so difficult in this world. I'm glad 'our' community exists nowadays, makes me feel less of an alien and more of an actual human being, worthy of existing. I know I'll be burnt out for a couple of months unfortunately, but it'll get better... And for everyone here, you are amazing! Be kind to yourself and proud of every small thing you achieved the last few days. We all deserve some love and understanding ❤
the biggest difference for me was to start take Sertralin 100mg to combat my insane GAD (generalizezd anxiety disorder) which I've suffered from since childhood and I realized that the largest factor that matters for you to have a good life is simply your biology, the chemicals in your brains, etc... Now with more serotonin in my brain than I normally have I can do so many things I would NEVER have done without it, you are a product of your biology and circumstances, that's all there is to it.
47 and not officially diagnosed.. but that’s because it’s expensive and where I’m at there’s no help to be had anyway.. so I went through my life with a magnifying glass and everything made sense … but I’ve become a hermit as a result because I don’t want to burden others and put myself in bad situations just like on the past when I don’t know better
And so frustrating wo memory when you know you’ve been sa. No reliance on older sisters still shut up and hushed in silence and shame 💞💞💞💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞
My autistic traits present differently then yours so I don't particularly relate to your experiences, I still find your descriptions to be informative and it helps broaden my perspective of autism beyond my lived experience.
@@thequietlife1152 Similar to descriptions provided by Quinn from Autistamatic, Mike from Autistic AF, Neil from Autistic Not Alien and Dr. Anson Service from The Neurodivergent Doctor. Relate to and fulfill all DSM-V A-E criteria. Big challenges around almost everything to do with social interactions. Have significant sensory issues with anxiety inducing hypersensitive to touch, taste and sound). Results: Big struggles with maintaining employment. Big struggles in maintaining relationships. Big struggles with nutrition. Although, I am weirdly good with numbers and seem to learn skills rapidly, possibly because my memory retrieval is quite reliable.
I have been diagnosed at age 15(currently 17 now), I expected it as many people would joke about me being handicapped. No one knows for sure except my psychiatrist and parents, I have refused almost all help(excluding weekly therapy and anti-depressants) due to the fear of being looked down upon(even though im currently masking a clown personality and it def doesn't help).Most friendships I have don't feel honest as 90% of the time i don't tell them what i have on my mind unless its an useless joke and i get so invested in social interactions that I may think about them all day.I'm currently having a gf which i honestly don't even like(even though she does) and I only do it since I don't want to be a virgin/unmarried or never kiss a girl since I've mostly seen people like this be looked down upon.I can't even bring myself to interact with the people i like or do things i actually enjoy because they are looked down upon or because of procrastination.
Yes yes yes! For several of the reflections you've shared here. Thank you! 🎉 Also, i would LOVE to contribute to an initiative / collaborative effort which would help make employment more accepting and suitable for us AuDHDers. 👏🏻
I was diagnosed in grade 3, pretty much the same. Here's you are, you have Asperger's. That's what I was diagnosed with in 1980. So looked up in the encyclopedia and it have bit on Dr. Asperger's children which really didn't give me much information. The psychologist never told me anything but he talked to teachers about therapies to apply to me to get me behavior like normal person. Parents didn't believe the diagnosis either.
It was nice seeing your video today. It's been a few months since I got a notification on your videos. How are you handling the cold? Does autism impact handling weather changes? It is a bit colder there than down here west of the Baltimore area.
I'm not enjoying the cold, although the snow is a magical new experience. My autism means that I can't regulate my temperature, so I'm frozen all the time...waiting for the sun to come out ☀️
@@elenacarr0llI love winter…. The secret is to relax your body, it lets the blood flow more and so then you’re warmer. Let the shoulders fall. Hope that helps!
A day on earth Every day I see the world I am forever amazed by its unending wonders And all the beauty of everything around me Each blade of grass, every pebbles, shoot and twigs Drops of dew as diamonds in the morning sun The fresh scent of renewed hope in the early breath The promises of life awoken Riches and abundance and rewards near I am so very small - this world so big Though I look and look I cannot see very far But I can see I belong here That I belong to here The new day also brings hurdles and sorrow Streams to cross, treacherous and menacing covers I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along In this immeasurable field I call home And no matter the dangers and the threats However unkind the weather and cold the nights And the friends lost and the dark days I am grateful for this ground I walk on I am the life given to me Like a voice needs a listener And the dream a dreamer This earth comes alive under my tiny little feet I am bound to it as it is to me I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along Small and defenceless, sometimes scared and unsure But trusting and confident in this moment Today, there is nowhere else I would rather be Here and now I belong To this life given to me I am a voice, I am a dream, I am a breath I am just a little mouse
Start by doing it in private, slowly identify the compulsions to mask in realtime, and the underlying purpose of masking, how it served you beneficially in some ways, but maybe you're now ready to reverse the compulsion and consciously experience freedom presenting exactly how you choose.
I am autistic. There are no tools that can smooth your relationship with other people. If you try to learn them, build them, copy them, etc., you will be attempting to reshape your nature. Someone who is constitutionally different cannot reformulate themselves to stop being different. One can try, but this endeavor involves the destruction of your true nature. Society will distrust you. Always. It is the instinctive reaction of most individuals toward an autistic person. They try to categorize you quickly, and either they cannot do it, or they do and then find contradictions. The fact that they cannot categorize you means that you could eventually be seen as dangerous or unmanageable. There is no way out. I live being autistic and bewildering people. And in many cases, causing their distrust.
Could not have said it better, even though i believe there is a place or people that may relate and geniunely support you.Most people will either make fun of you or use you.
Usually girls don't get diagnosed its mainly just guys. I have aspergers myself. I don't like referring to myself as "autistic" or "level 1 autism" as I feel it does a disservice to actual autistic people. Still awkward with the stimming and such but ya. They need to be treated with more respect us too but more so them 😀
Hey, hey, hey! I think I know you! 😀 Are you from New Zealand...? Were you active on TH-cam at any point between 2010 and 2018?? It's been ages, I can't pinpoint the exact year, forgive me... 😅
Your not alone pretty lady, 43 years old,only found out about my Syndrome few years ago, but dealt with it over 4 decades. Never really gets any easier, some things you can improve on others no matter how hard you try you it will not let you improve on it. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps others. God bless you on your journey's
I'm 67 and although I have never been actually diagnosed, I know my own mind and I'm convinced I could easily be diagnosed so. My nephew has been diagnosed and that's close enough for me. He hasn't figured out how to deal with it. He feels like he's been diagnosed as "weird." Yes, I double-check EVERYTHING. I don't expect anyone to like me. Interpersonal relationships are SO damned much work! I started driving when I was eighteen, a good two years later than most of the kids I knew, but after a surprisingly long period of learning to deal with various situations I now find that I love driving and I find it to be delightful. Hang in there. I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but in my experience it really doesn't. You just kinda get used it.
Thank you Elena… I was at the gym about to have a breakdown when I decided to put on my headphones and finally watch your video which I had bookmarked. I was feeling so much social anxiety and feeling like a complete failure. This made me want to cry in a whole different way. I feel relief in knowing that these struggles which I have too are not my fault. Things don’t feel hard just because. They ARE incredibly hard. And I don’t give myself nearly enough compassion or empathy for the effort I have had to put in to keep living this confusing life. Just because people don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not real. 🩵
An idea: After we get diagnosed we should be provided coaching or therapy for 6 months and at the end of it we get a paper that is an overview of our personal spectrum that includes a personalized list of accommodations and recources like "use headphones in grocery stores, avoid masking after 6 pm, meltdown survival check-list" And we get a revision every 2 years like prescriptions for eyeglasses or something.
SERIOUSLY!!!!
Thank You, I can't tell you enough how much I resonate with this idea!!
Thissss
Everything you said! Having your first instinct be to distrust your instincts. Ugh. All day, every day. Feeling like an alien. Naivety, and failing to learn from past mistakes (which I guess illustrates failure to generalize - an autistic trait). Slow processing. Not knowing who I am. As for relationships, I have been trying to build my confidence back up by learning to ask myself what I want (not just what I am expected to do) and then validating my feelings and taking action accordingly. It sounds so basic, but when you’ve gaslit yourself your whole life, there are layers and layers of smoke obscuring the view.
You are so poetic in your writing. Beautifully said, thank you
Wow! Love the image of the gaslit smoke layers
My adult diagnosis opened an entire new world to me. Meeting new friends with autism and possibly dating. I feel like everything is falling into place
So happy for you ! I wish you all the luck !
becoming aware of the connection between being autistic and my experience with fatigue was a big eye-opener for me!
I was diagnosed in 1997. This year I started my alone arc. Linguistics says that autism is the ability to be able to live on one's own. Life is on easy mode right now 😄
Congratulations on reaching easy mode :)
@elenacarr0ll
Are you busy planning to easy mode too?
Elena, I am really interested what you have to say, but I cannot stand the editing. But hey, I am autisic ;).
I think your videos woul imprive so much when you did them unedited, good as they are, as you are.
Nice
@@stevencito1000oh, intriguing! I actually LOVE her editing, it grabs & keeps, (which is a feat given my ADHD) my attention. I know sometimes I just listen if a YT video isn’t what I need, but I see how you wanna be able to watch, too.
I know it’s hard for everyone with a late diagnosis but it’s a matter of perspective of what late is. Realising I was autistic at 63 and being diagnosed at 64, (I am now approaching 67) it is very hard. Being diagnosed as an elder we don’t feel we have much to look forward.
We have already worked our whole life, got married brought up children and fumbled our way through so many things we did not understand. I was always very poor at masking and when I was diagnosed with level 2 autism it made a lot of sense.
I gradually stopped masking because I sucked at it anyway thus the decades of abuse and ridicule for being different. I do not mask my autistic traits now and would rather someone make fun of me than ever do it again. I just do not care what they think anymore, I am to too tired and haven’t got the time to live my life out that way. I now mostly live as a recluse with my spouse of 26 years. Regardless I have had a successful life but it came at a big price to my mental health, as I have general and social anxiety disorder and C-PTSD
I discovered an autism diagnosis at 43. It's a process of destructing ableist mindsets and reintegrating suppressed autistic traits. Finding a therapist with autism has been precious.
I can’t understand or feel how I feel if others are around, unless the emotions are extreme. I really relate to how you phrased that 🙏🏼
I’m nearly 18. Was diagnosed with (level 2) autism a year ago and adhd (combined) literally 2 months ago. I’m a girl so I was obviously overlooked for that. What’s the most depressing for me is the mourning process of it all. Realising I was treated badly because of my neurodivergent behaviour and being angry for my younger self. Getting mistreated by my school when I was diagnosed and they outright refused accommodations for me but gave it to the autistic boys (they had a weird thing against the autistic/adhd girls in my school). Realising I can’t do certain things like get a normal job or drive. It’s very frustrating. And people just expect you to move on quickly from it like you didn’t just get the jaw dropping news your actually disabled and never knew until you hit the age where your an adult and can barely get support for it now.
I’m 28 too ❤ I so relate to your experiences.. I’ve had to live with no friends or support several times and looking back those have been the most peaceful times for me (though not always the happiest) and I felt most free . we were made the way we were because this world deserves variety. Don’t validate others drop their ball and hold on tightly to your own. You’ll always be here for you 😊 it’s very harsh at first when you realize how neglect is so normalized ☔️ it is challenging though day by day I think we autistics learn to love this world as deeply as anyone else.
Thank you for your thoughtful words 🌈
Elena, I’ve only watched about half of your new video so far, and there’s already so much I want to respond to. The depth and thoughtfulness you put into your content is incredible. Right now, I’m coming out of a period of autistic burnout and still struggling to find the right words to fully express how much I appreciate what you’re doing. Your video is so rich that it sends my mind off in a thousand directions, and I need the mental space to process it all.
Just know that even if I can’t fully engage with every detail at this moment, I’m so grateful for your work. Seeing a new video from you in my subscription feed always makes me happy, and I love learning about your experiences and perspectives. Please keep going-you’re doing something truly meaningful here.
Take good care of yourself, and I hope you have a wonderful, gentle holiday season.
This video has me wondering how I would go about starting an International Support Network for Autistic Adults. There really isn't much out there, other than the communities we've built for ourselves. I truly believe that we deserve better, we just need to do it ourselves, only on a much larger scale..
Reddit has been the best place I’ve found so far, but there’s something missing. this service is wanted and needed
Very true- there's so much stuff for kids, however so many of us adults are getting diagnosed and there's much less information for us.
Today is the first day of the rest of my life, late diagnosed at 52. I spent a lot of my life up until now masking, pushing through, and stumbling along as best I could. I suspect I hit burnout as it became exhausting, then self diagnosed before receiving the official diagnosis. There's a lot to unpack.
This is becoming a more and more heated topic in my life. I’m a firm believer that the problem is Systemic.
It's like the world is just very..... insensitive and unaware
@ I made a video on this last week. Got pretty passionate tbh lol.
it is, we are outlier and just cant really fit in with the system/society in general unless we performing.
but too much performing and you dont know yourself anymore
It's gotten to a point, where I can't even be around my family for more than a few minutes at a time. Being alone even if it is painful is the way to go for me
I hear you
@@sleepingwhale Thank you
Omg you just described what I couldn’t understand about myself perfectly. I love my family and my one friend a lot but I need lots of alone time, it makes me depressed cuz I like being around them but I genuinely can’t socialise for more then 20 minutes without feeling like crap after that amount of time and retreating to my room. I suffer with insomnia and fatigue from my autism and adhd so I generally have less energy aswell. I like to imagine I’ll have a friend circle with people who like me, or even a girlfriend one day but realistically I know it wouldn’t make me happy because it requires me to socialise which I really don’t like. So being alone looks like the way for me aswell ❤
🙏💜 thank you for this video... so true... same feelings. Late diagnosis at 41... so tired... Learning to feel my own needs and respect myself, healing the traumas... To be naive and have difficulties to navigate... Learning to not see the best in everyone but to put limits and to test... To protect a sacred intimate territory wich is kind and more safe... Take care Elena and thank you... 🦋
You're so welcome!! 🌈
I can relate to this a lot, I was diagnosed this year (I’m 25) and one of my biggest struggles has always been “people confidence” or essentially being able to constantly sell myself as what the world deems “capable”. Thanks for this :)
Great video Alina. And very articulate. I think it’s a good thing that you don’t bring your past negative experiences with certain people into new situations with other people. We should all learn to judge everyone individually not by any preconceived standards.
Awesome video Elena; your perspective and experience is very relatable
I'm so glad you've found it relatable!
🥰
We are accurate and precise thinking people living in and navigating an inaccurate and imprecise world
“The world is always right, I’m always the one getting it wrong” man oh man oh man
- another Elena with autism
Also I didn’t learn to drive till I was 20, which was behind my peers who learned as soon as they were 17. I had no interest in it and was happy with public transport. I do like driving but it’s stressful and I often don’t have the energy now to do that and then attend the thing and then drive home so I don’t
Just rushing through this comment before I take hours to react or not react at all (yep). This is all só relatable. Honestly lol, I'm 29 now and got my diagnosis at 12, so 17 freakin' years. Lack of knowledge about autism back in the day and being too young at my part, I did not compute what this meant at the time. Yeah, I'm kind of different but still capable of the same as everyone else, right? And only now realising that I've been pushing myself way beyond what is healthy for me (highly masking), my entire life. The realization of all autistic traits, constant reflection, experiences of being misunderstood, doubting myself and double checking everything. Telling myself 'you can do everything they can at least equally good ór better'. Achieved everything I ever wished for myself only to find out I'm not in a great spot right now... But fighting now to make that better. Accepting yourself for who you are and embracing everything you are capable of is so difficult in this world. I'm glad 'our' community exists nowadays, makes me feel less of an alien and more of an actual human being, worthy of existing. I know I'll be burnt out for a couple of months unfortunately, but it'll get better... And for everyone here, you are amazing! Be kind to yourself and proud of every small thing you achieved the last few days. We all deserve some love and understanding ❤
Relate to being naive. Also trusting own judgment is hard as so so many errors 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞
the biggest difference for me was to start take Sertralin 100mg to combat my insane GAD (generalizezd anxiety disorder) which I've suffered from since childhood and I realized that the largest factor that matters for you to have a good life is simply your biology, the chemicals in your brains, etc... Now with more serotonin in my brain than I normally have I can do so many things I would NEVER have done without it, you are a product of your biology and circumstances, that's all there is to it.
47 and not officially diagnosed.. but that’s because it’s expensive and where I’m at there’s no help to be had anyway..
so I went through my life with a magnifying glass and everything made sense … but I’ve become a hermit as a result because I don’t want to burden others and put myself in bad situations just like on the past when I don’t know better
Great video. Nailed every point.
And so frustrating wo memory when you know you’ve been sa. No reliance on older sisters still shut up and hushed in silence and shame 💞💞💞💞💙🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞
I was diagnosed last year with autism. You're not alone
Very relatable. Barely any help or guidance available for adults with ASD. It starts and ends with a diagnosis.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT
My autistic traits present differently then yours so I don't particularly relate to your experiences, I still find your descriptions to be informative and it helps broaden my perspective of autism beyond my lived experience.
Hi, may I ask how your autism presents? I’m still learning, and for some reason, I think this could help, and not just me 😊
@@thequietlife1152 Similar to descriptions provided by Quinn from Autistamatic, Mike from Autistic AF, Neil from Autistic Not Alien and Dr. Anson Service from The Neurodivergent Doctor.
Relate to and fulfill all DSM-V A-E criteria. Big challenges around almost everything to do with social interactions. Have significant sensory issues with anxiety inducing hypersensitive to touch, taste and sound).
Results: Big struggles with maintaining employment. Big struggles in maintaining relationships. Big struggles with nutrition.
Although, I am weirdly good with numbers and seem to learn skills rapidly, possibly because my memory retrieval is quite reliable.
I have been diagnosed at age 15(currently 17 now), I expected it as many people would joke about me being handicapped. No one knows for sure except my psychiatrist and parents, I have refused almost all help(excluding weekly therapy and anti-depressants) due to the fear of being looked down upon(even though im currently masking a clown personality and it def doesn't help).Most friendships I have don't feel honest as 90% of the time i don't tell them what i have on my mind unless its an useless joke and i get so invested in social interactions that I may think about them all day.I'm currently having a gf which i honestly don't even like(even though she does) and I only do it since I don't want to be a virgin/unmarried or never kiss a girl since I've mostly seen people like this be looked down upon.I can't even bring myself to interact with the people i like or do things i actually enjoy because they are looked down upon or because of procrastination.
I feel this. 38 y/o autistic here diagnosed at 32. The support is only for kids and their parents 😩
Yes yes yes! For several of the reflections you've shared here. Thank you! 🎉
Also, i would LOVE to contribute to an initiative / collaborative effort which would help make employment more accepting and suitable for us AuDHDers. 👏🏻
I was diagnosed in grade 3, pretty much the same. Here's you are, you have Asperger's. That's what I was diagnosed with in 1980. So looked up in the encyclopedia and it have bit on Dr. Asperger's children which really didn't give me much information. The psychologist never told me anything but he talked to teachers about therapies to apply to me to get me behavior like normal person. Parents didn't believe the diagnosis either.
We live in the same city❤
autism strength! 💪🏽
It was nice seeing your video today. It's been a few months since I got a notification on your videos. How are you handling the cold? Does autism impact handling weather changes? It is a bit colder there than down here west of the Baltimore area.
I'm not enjoying the cold, although the snow is a magical new experience. My autism means that I can't regulate my temperature, so I'm frozen all the time...waiting for the sun to come out ☀️
@ I wish early springtime temperatures for you. Stay warm, I like warmer temperatures myself.
@@elenacarr0llI love winter…. The secret is to relax your body, it lets the blood flow more and so then you’re warmer. Let the shoulders fall. Hope that helps!
A day on earth
Every day I see the world
I am forever amazed by its unending wonders
And all the beauty of everything around me
Each blade of grass, every pebbles, shoot and twigs
Drops of dew as diamonds in the morning sun
The fresh scent of renewed hope in the early breath
The promises of life awoken
Riches and abundance and rewards near
I am so very small - this world so big
Though I look and look I cannot see very far
But I can see I belong here
That I belong to here
The new day also brings hurdles and sorrow
Streams to cross, treacherous and menacing covers
I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along
In this immeasurable field I call home
And no matter the dangers and the threats
However unkind the weather and cold the nights
And the friends lost and the dark days
I am grateful for this ground I walk on
I am the life given to me
Like a voice needs a listener
And the dream a dreamer
This earth comes alive under my tiny little feet
I am bound to it as it is to me
I am just a solitary little mouse trotting along
Small and defenceless, sometimes scared and unsure
But trusting and confident in this moment
Today, there is nowhere else I would rather be
Here and now I belong
To this life given to me
I am a voice, I am a dream, I am a breath
I am just a little mouse
Love poetry. Mary Oliver, her book Devotions is my favorite
And
The book of healing by: Najwa zebian
This was very helpful for me...I relate a lot. I'm 35 and I still don't drive. anyways... btw you are very beautiful 🥰
I feel like an alien too because of autism 😅
How to unmask at my age -so so hard ??? 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞👊
Start by doing it in private, slowly identify the compulsions to mask in realtime, and the underlying purpose of masking, how it served you beneficially in some ways, but maybe you're now ready to reverse the compulsion and consciously experience freedom presenting exactly how you choose.
Amazing video 💙
Have you spoken before about the "misdiagnoses"?
I am autistic. There are no tools that can smooth your relationship with other people. If you try to learn them, build them, copy them, etc., you will be attempting to reshape your nature.
Someone who is constitutionally different cannot reformulate themselves to stop being different. One can try, but this endeavor involves the destruction of your true nature.
Society will distrust you. Always. It is the instinctive reaction of most individuals toward an autistic person. They try to categorize you quickly, and either they cannot do it, or they do and then find contradictions. The fact that they cannot categorize you means that you could eventually be seen as dangerous or unmanageable.
There is no way out. I live being autistic and bewildering people. And in many cases, causing their distrust.
Could not have said it better, even though i believe there is a place or people that may relate and geniunely support you.Most people will either make fun of you or use you.
Seeing the ''good'' in people is very very very hard for me. Eh mabey one day....
Usually girls don't get diagnosed its mainly just guys. I have aspergers myself. I don't like referring to myself as "autistic" or "level 1 autism" as I feel it does a disservice to actual autistic people. Still awkward with the stimming and such but ya. They need to be treated with more respect us too but more so them 😀
Would it be easier to think of Autism as part of who you are, rather than a condition?
Hey, hey, hey!
I think I know you! 😀
Are you from New Zealand...?
Were you active on TH-cam at any point between 2010 and 2018??
It's been ages, I can't pinpoint the exact year, forgive me... 😅
Your not alone pretty lady, 43 years old,only found out about my Syndrome few years ago, but dealt with it over 4 decades. Never really gets any easier, some things you can improve on others no matter how hard you try you it will not let you improve on it. Thank you for sharing your experiences, it helps others. God bless you on your journey's
Don’t put everything on your autism. ❤
Try 58-60 years old … God Almighty please 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞
All the best on your journey Kelly 🤗
@ you too 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻💞
I can almost relate. Just been diagnosed at 47.
Wait until you're 38, like me 😅 it doesn't get any better only worse. Sorry but it's the truth
I'm 67 and although I have never been actually diagnosed, I know my own mind and I'm convinced I could easily be diagnosed so. My nephew has been diagnosed and that's close enough for me. He hasn't figured out how to deal with it. He feels like he's been diagnosed as "weird."
Yes, I double-check EVERYTHING. I don't expect anyone to like me. Interpersonal relationships are SO damned much work!
I started driving when I was eighteen, a good two years later than most of the kids I knew, but after a surprisingly long period of learning to deal with various situations I now find that I love driving and I find it to be delightful.
Hang in there. I'd like to tell you it gets easier, but in my experience it really doesn't. You just kinda get used it.
You know your struggles better than anyone. I hope my experiences validate your own. Sending hugs
I didn't drive till I think I was 22 maybe 23.
Thank you Elena… I was at the gym about to have a breakdown when I decided to put on my headphones and finally watch your video which I had bookmarked. I was feeling so much social anxiety and feeling like a complete failure. This made me want to cry in a whole different way. I feel relief in knowing that these struggles which I have too are not my fault. Things don’t feel hard just because. They ARE incredibly hard. And I don’t give myself nearly enough compassion or empathy for the effort I have had to put in to keep living this confusing life. Just because people don’t understand doesn’t mean it’s not real. 🩵
I’m so proud of you!!! Cheering you on always!!