Trillionsssss of words could not make 4legs get the TRUTH. Before teaching others what to talk, please STOP to thinking and looking yourselves, your people, societies first. If you see the TRUTH, you would close your month and the whole country.
Her talk reminded me of a Rumi poem. “This being human is a guest house. Every morning a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness, some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor. Welcome and entertain them all! Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows, who violently sweep your house empty of its furniture, still, treat each guest honorably. He may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice, meet them at the door laughing, and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
I was at a gallery opening this past week and the band that was playing music during the event read this poem in the middle of their set. Strange to run into it twice in one week. Thank you for posting it.
The technique Karen is talking about is called Internal Family Systems (IFS). I had a therapist use this to help me and it did wonders. You can also use it yourself. It works if you can ask yourself questions in a self-compassionate way. It does feel like you are crazy when another voice (which is yours) speaks back, but parts of us have been stuck in traumatic moments.
I came to the comment section to say this. Internal family systems made my life so much better. This is the future of psychotherapy, of all therapy. So few people know about it right now.
Best note: "We've been told love is hard. It's not. Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it. It's right there.. and we welcome someone, anyone exactly as they are in the moment."
That's actually perfect, she has angel presence. Her knowing and intention is purely angelic, simple as that. As a human being, she'd say 'I'm no angel!', but trust me, this is a real one guys.
Had a friend a long time ago named Chris Chin. This was before finding Christ and becoming a believer. Funny looking back on it now. Signs are usually all around us but in a very subtle way.
Came to a lot of these realizations as a tattoo artist. We have to sit with people we don't agree with for hours sometimes. It's our job to make something beautiful for them.
Wow, I've never thought about that. It's so intimate too, not only proximity but your heart goes into your art. It must be so tricky to give it your best while clashing with a talking canvas! Have you ever turned someone away?
She is phenomenal. A force of nature. I didn't even realize I had tears running down my face for a moment, that's how deeply she reaches. She bypasses the conscious mind and ego and speaks directly to your subconscious, the truth. I wish that everyone had at least a fraction of her wisdom and intelligence. We would be a thriving, evolved global society in no time.
I'm performing a scientific experiment: how many times do I have to watch this video in order to burn its wisdom into my brain so that I can recall it in times of stress. Luckily, there is no end of stress with which I can test my hypothesis. :)
“Love is what happens when you stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” I’m now inspired to practice growing my “sphere of unconditional welcome”. 💗
Psychodynamic psychology refers to this as the "committee in your head." I often ask my clients to identify who they have on their committee in their head, and if they want those voices (often from childhood trauma) to continue with a seat on the committee. What a well done talk, thank you!
Absolutely extraordinary. This is a masterclass in delivering a TED-style talk, how to use humor without stepping on the message, AND on the deeply misunderstood and under-appreciated skill of perspective-taking. What a gift to us working in the field of human connection. Thank you, Karen!
@@KarenFaith Thank you for the shining example of authenticity, courage, humility, empathy/love, humor, more! I had flashbacks of John Bradshaw, who 31 years ago opened me up to inner-child work. I will look up more of your work, both personal and general focus-group moderation. Watched this 3x already, and will keep enjoying it. Brilliant & beautiful. Thanks again.
I’m sitting here crying. I’ve prayed for months for God to help me better myself. All myselves. The signs He has given me just the past few days are overwhelming but I’m welcoming them all! Your talk is awesome THANK YOU
You are not, you are never, alone.♥️ That's why we need each other so very desperately. Otherwise, we forget. 💪 Be strong, and very courageous. Be kind to yourself first.🦋
This actually made me feel so much relief. "The round table" of inner selves is exactly how I describe how I found the strength to rebuild myself and function again after falling into a sever depression when my partner passed I slept nearly all day but my mind was my inner selves sitting in a circle in a dark room bringing everything to light and talking through everything. To hear I'm not just crazy for how I did it and that others do too is such a comfort .
Wow, definitely made me cry. That moment when you realize that we all have parts, and some of them just need a hug, like how you would hug a little kid. I believe she is talking about Internal Family Systems.
The ideas that I'm discussing are very similar to those in IFS, but my practice doesn't happen to come from there. The concept of multiplicity of self is OLD and unattached to psychiatry (Rumi, Walt Whitman, and the apostle Paul knew ages ago). The main idea I am sharing is Unconditional Welcome. It is an approach to engagement with the self and others which begins with full awareness and acceptance of the moment. And I didn't invent that, either. :) I do appreciate all the commenters who recognize IFS and other philosophies here. It has been my experience that when something rings true, it can be found everywhere.
Top human. Scarily confident, funny, intelligent, professional speaker, beautiful voice, flawless diction and an actor's range of tonality and so incredibly expressive... Perfect live delivery from memory or ad-libbed?? AND with a vital compassionate humanist message and a bunch of cool insights on the way.
@@esds yeah bro they see the good in the bad and the present in the lost, I think they see others as actual humans and not objects/side characters/NPCs which is what many of us may lack
"Only reality is the moment , everything else is thoughts . What's in front of you , where you are , what you see with your eyes is real and that's reality . Rest everything is your thoughts " My mentor told me this and this thought helped me , maybe help you as well , try thinking that way .
Im the joking dad and retired Marine combined. Just so you know Ms. Faith, im in rehab and have now incorporated your self-moderation into my daily mantra, as well as the "thank you for your input,remember our agreement"
I love knowing I am not the only one with a roundtable. The last few years have felt all of the things she mentioned. Her daily commute sounds like the last 6 yrs of my life. There's no worst feeling to me than being trapped in your own mind and know no one can get you out except you. I hope she knows how powerful this was for me!
Speaking of micro cues, the way she says, "Horrible" at 14:05 sounded to me like despair, terror, love, betrayal, and sadness all smooshed into a single word's time-couldn't have been more than 3/4 of a second in an otherwise positive and hopeful string of words and ideas. It got me. When I heard that, it was like a knife went through my chest and poked my heart-took my breath away for a second and made my eyes well up. Maybe because I know all to well what she's talking about. Maybe because, for the moment she said that, I felt for a split second that I wasn't alone. One thing's for sure, our thoughts and emotions and the way our minds work and everything about us works to make us who we are and how we experience and interpret what's going on is extremely complex. I think she's right. We should give ourselves more credit, be kinder to ourselves. So I hope you reading this right now, if you know what I'm talking about, I hope you can know too that you're not alone. I want to take this moment, in my own multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self, to extend my love to you in your multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self. We're not alone, you and I. And we can learn to live and love ourselves. It's gonna get better. It's gonna be alright. 🙏❤
@@KarenFaithAbsolutely Brilliant Talk!! Loved it from start to end! ❤ Thank you SO MUCH! And Thank you Mike! A few of Karen's words cracked me up, while a few made my stomach feel heavy as if it had dropped into my abdomen! Was keeping myself from tearing up I guess... But the way she put it - Really was a masterpiece!
This talk was uploaded 57 minutes ago... I just prayed about my struggle with self-love and acceptance....Never expected the answer to my prayer about learning to love and accept myself, would come through a Ted Talk on TH-cam. All I can do is cry and thank HIM for answering another prayer. ❤🩹
I feel so heard. This is how i think and feel things. How she used to tall to herself is how i talk to myself today. So many parts of me, so many that i love and am proud of, and so many that i hate, and am ashamed of. Fear that even if i do accept myself, maybe i won't change, because acceptance doesn't make the parts i hate go away, instead it gives them a place in my life. Like she used to feel, i want those parts of me gone, instead of present. But i want happiness, peace, and a sence of control over the choices i make for myself. Thank you for making me feel heard like I've never felt before.
This was the best TEDtalk I’ve heard in a while. What a beautiful, meaningful conversation about honoring OURSELVES in every aspect. Even the bright, luminous moon in the night sky has its dark sides… though by no means does it detract from the light it projects onto the whole world
This was absolutely brilliant. Karen captured what I have been struggling with my entire life. It was no accident that I stumbled upon this video I saw needed to see this. Thank you so much Karen from the bottom of my heart.
I’ve just recently learned there are no such things as accidents. Everything happens for a definitive reason. We have all found this Ted Talk for a reason…eventually, that reason will come to us. Enjoy the journey😀
Wow! It's like she is speaking my mind, my heart and my soul. Never have I ever heard anyone describe anything so accurately it's like she is describing me but the beauty is she is describing all of us. Reminds me how we're all the same and all connected in this vast universe. Beautiful 😍✨😍🥹🥺😢
"Just a mother trying to feed her baby in a world that she didn't trust" I'll be honest I judged that lady at first based on the description, but that single statement completely changed my perspective. Had to pause the video and ponder for a few minutes
I love this talk so much, after being exhausted of just giving away too much love for other people, I became dismissive of their emotions, trying to protect my peace, but the happiness and love I feel disappeared, asking where it went.. turns out it's because I stopped caring, the joy of helping someone out even in the smallest things were gone. The talk gave me comfort, Just welcome everyone unconditionally and not look for specific people to love, everyone deserves to be loved. Thanks for the comfort and security ❤️
“I promise I am going to take care of you, but I need you to get on board. I will listen to you but I will NOT obey you.” Going through a rough breakup now and really needed to hear this. My inner-child is in disbelief of the trauma and keeps screaming and crying out for something (but, like a child, doesn’t know what it needs). I just have to hold him, hear him out, and promise it’s going to be okay- but being toxic to ourselves or others won’t resolve anything.
How strange it is that I find it on a time when I needed all these answers in maybe exactly the way you addressed it. It is a very beautiful way. And I’m too going to give all my selves unconditional positive regard and I know it will work out❤
Oh my!!! You just described me perfectly!!! I have never been able to understand my CPSTD and all the voices that tell me who I am and am not...thank you for speaking my language...I hope one day I feel welcome to welcome me...
It's in this point of time that I realize it's normal to have a conflicting feelings. That I don't have to repeatedly justify myself why I still remain kind to other given they've hurted me badly.
This is one of the best Ted talks I’ve heard in my entire life. What a great speaker! She made me feel so good about me and my parts! Good reminder for me to not be rough on myself and start seeing what différents part of me are telling me and accept them as they are! ❤ that’s how the path to accepting and unconditionally loving yourself starts. Thank you
I love this woman because that's how I've thought all the time and I've felt alone for thinking that everyone deserves love even if we don't know how to love.
I knew that wasn’t a true statement, because I have never truly loved myself, but I do truly love my children and husband. I realized just how much more I loved them after my oldest son passed away. I wanted to die, I wanted to get away from the pain, I wanted to be with my son. But what of my other boys, what of my husband. Was I to inflict more pain onto them to escape my own. No, you definitely can love others more than yourself!! Thank you for this video, I have many voices also and no I’m not mentally ill. I think they are a bit of every person I’ve been impacted by, good or bad and pieces of me who haven’t had closure along this journey we’ve been having.
Loving someone in my life is really hard, but once without thinking I sat next to that person and was surprised I actually did that and didn't care if it was them or some other person. Love really is universal.
I've watched a lot of TED Talks. Sooo many. Hoping to find what I can't put into words. This was, by far, the best TED I've ever heard. It encapsulated what I'm going through while trying to remember to not hate myself and give up. Yes, I have those voices and days, too. Like yourself, I have tools to navigate my fears and traumas, but sometimes, ...often in fact, I forget. Or sometimes the voices are too loud. Today I'm good. Thank you for reminding me to gently talk back. Too check in and to love myself always. ❤🙏🤗
I came across this video just at the right time and it literally changed my life. She did something that most therapist have difficulty in doing in just 15 minutes. An eye-opening, inspirational talk. Thank you Karen!
Using the focus group to reimagine the self is a stroke of genius. We can imagine the moderator as a central self among our many selves, helping each of us to move towards a harmony of some kind. Wow! Thank you to the many people that constitute Karen Faith...
It's actually not a new new idea. The focus group maybe, but not the 'different personalities within you'. Friedemann Schulz von Thun is a German psychologist and expert in interpersonal communication and intrapersonal communication. He called his model 'the inner team'. And his work is based on Margaret Paul and Erika J. Chopich which are two American psychologists.
exactly... I have shown this to patients on a psych unit to get this concept across without teaching it formally... its a lovely introduction to IFS in simple and relatable language
This shook me, and it feels like I will spend some time figuring out exactly why. In the meantime, it made me feel there's hope. We're here, right now, like this".
"Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it and welcome anyone, exactly as they are, in the moment. I look at my fragmented self less as a n broken mirror and more as a prism. All of you are worthy of welcome."
This exact time last week I found myself having this talk. I gave into it, not expecting to wake up in the morning. I woke up started my week as usual but something different happened. I got back to work on the things I enjoy ,and I progressed much faster because all of me has been engaged to the process. I think it’s crazy that no matter how hard I push I can always push harder.
One of the BEST Tedtalks I've listened in years. Simple, poignant, solution driven. Karen Faith: THANK YOU! Simply BEAUTIFUL in its simplicity and profound for its resolution.
I lost my mother whom I was extraordinarily close with to suicide in 2018, although sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday still. I cannot begin to explain how much I identified with the things spoken in this video, they were words my soul needed to hear. I struggle with “beating myself up” a lot mentally. “She told me that we were never going to get better, and she wanted out of here. I asked her what I could do, she only told me she wanted to die, over and over and over”. Here’s to getting better.
this is the best tedtalk about self helf, it can be applied with everyone. when she said she accepted her harass-self, i was awaken, i never accept my bad-selfs and always judging them, but now i know the way to talk to them, thank you❤❤❤
Wow. What a powerful message. I just listened to this while laying on the grass and watching the clouds. I have tears rolling down my face. Thank you Karen.
I've had so many issues working on this, i feel like i did get better at dealing with it but still it's very hard at times. Consider the fact that 1 year ago i was jobless, depressed, out of shape, heavy smoker and out of options in life as a 25yro, and at that time i was extremely rough with myself, i used to genuinely hate myself, and hate is a strong word. Then i took a leap of faith and traveled to another country, i had to stop being so toxic with myself, psychologically and physically, it started with what i eat, i started to eat more healthy, stopped smoking... 6 months free of it! I started working out as well and learning the language of said country. It's been such a wild ride, and despite the fact that i consider myself to have made such a good change in my life i can't but be harsh at myself at times, but i know why, some of these reasons are true in my opinion and some are just delusions that i created over the years. I really plan on working on this and just free myself of the chains that i created.
This is the best TED talk I've ever seen. I'm currently doing IFS therapy and I'm in awe at how practical Karen Faith illustrated the work it talks to love and welcome yourself. Thank you!
It all starts with love. It all starts with loving yourself and when you do that you start understanding others around you. One day I simply looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud, I LOVE YOU. After I did that my life got better. I now have empathy with people that have rough personalities. It’s all about love.
I used to be my own therapist. I still am and the thing is I let myself feel my own feelings to make them go away. As she said to make room to this part of ourselves let this part being heard. And after I feel it and say how the situation sucks I ask myself questions, like what am I actually mad at. What do I want from this. they’re not always the nicest questions but they’re the right ones. I’m saying to this part of me. It’s sucks now but it’ll be ok, I love you. And I remind myself all this parts of me, they’re not always good But they do want me to be better. It’s not perfect but I know to learn being the best I can
"love is a house you can crawl in through window" statement that i loved the most and i will like to say that this ted talk by karen faith is best one among all of those which i have watched
This talk reminded me of internal family systems. It all starts within and once u are able to accept all parts of yourself u can be more accepting of others . Thanks for this talk. We need to start needing to show ourselves unconditional love so we can show up for others.
A slow zone of love visualization, (the bubble of welcome, it stops the judgementalism from getting through, like the slow zone in the Expanse) ,coupled with the idea that we are disparate pieces of a fragmented entity that can be treated more easily as a group than a unit. Leadership can be applied to the psyche, but to connect, we have to see that the things that got us through are ok, but maybe not acting in alignment with what we want. They can be led, but not forced, to change. They will rebel if they feel rejected, so find the overlap in love rather than see the negative space in distaste. A brilliant talk; thank you.
OMG! My heart cracked open when you mentioned 'when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it', I needed this thank you, Karen. It's nice to see one of you Karens taking lead, pun intended LOL!
I always feel like my mind is split, the voices in my head are all me, but not me at the same time. We talk, argue, comfort and love. We have peace with each other, no matter how horrible the condition we’re in. Each knowing that I love you unconditionally and I know that you love me back. My committee provides me safety and stability of myself. I don’t think they’ll ever quiet down, and I don’t need them to.
![[#2024MAMA] ROSÉ (로제), Bruno Mars - APT. | Mnet 241122 방송](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/dgGqD28J6aQ/mqdefault.jpg)
“I will listen to you, but I will not obey you.” That really made me cry.
me too🥲♥️
came to comment the same thing
me too, my mind kept whining why i wouldn't obey 'me', but other mind knew for sure why i couldn't.
Trillionsssss of words could not make 4legs get the TRUTH. Before teaching others what to talk, please STOP to thinking and looking yourselves, your people, societies first. If you see the TRUTH, you would close your month and the whole country.
Best part of this talk🫂
Her talk reminded me of a Rumi poem.
“This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.”
Yes, exactly this. Thank you, Chris.
Thank you so much for sharing this; it gives an added level of meaning to the talk.
I was at a gallery opening this past week and the band that was playing music during the event read this poem in the middle of their set. Strange to run into it twice in one week. Thank you for posting it.
This is perfect. Wow.
I thought the same thing! I had a copy of that poem on my desk at work for years.
"Love is what happens when we STOP trying to figure out who deserves it." - Karen Faith (wow! I love this quote!)
Me too! Gave me chills!
Bit of an 'oof' moment for me 😅
Me too! Very notable.
❤
me too
This felt like stand up comedy, therapy and a poetry session all in one. Beautiful.
🙏
Well said!
It sure did. I felt so much love for her.
@@KarenFaithLove You Karen Faith! All of you!
💯 AGREED!!!🥰🙏💗
"Everyone that you show unconditional welcome may show you a part of yourself to love"
"I love you, thank you for helping me see what you see"
❤
The technique Karen is talking about is called Internal Family Systems (IFS). I had a therapist use this to help me and it did wonders. You can also use it yourself. It works if you can ask yourself questions in a self-compassionate way. It does feel like you are crazy when another voice (which is yours) speaks back, but parts of us have been stuck in traumatic moments.
YES!!! Such an incredible therapy! The best book on this kind of therapy is called:
"No Bad Parts"
By. Dr. Richard C. Schwartz.
Thank you so much!
I came to the comment section to say this. Internal family systems made my life so much better. This is the future of psychotherapy, of all therapy. So few people know about it right now.
Came here to say this.
I had never head of IFS but it makes sense and I need to practice it.
Best note: "We've been told love is hard. It's not. Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it. It's right there.. and we welcome someone, anyone exactly as they are in the moment."
agree, that is quite note worthy to say the least
Yes, but we don't try and change them if we don't agree with how they live their lives
Yes that's life changing.
@@GabeBoehringerjoemama
"Love is a house you can crawl in through a window" this is so poetic
I’m a TED Talk addict and have listened to hundreds of them - and this one is one of the most compelling AND practically useful.
Thank you, Yukiko!
this is my first time to watch TED talk，I think this one is great
Totally agree
all of me: Agree!
I agree with you! This one feels eye opening to a lot of amazing things that could happen in future!
I watched this multiple times to make sure all my inner selves saw it. ❤️
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I see what you did there lmao 🤣🤘😸
If you can't love yourself ,start by loving others , actually that way you respect yourself and it is loving yourself too
So her name is basically CARE AND FAITH…. THAT IS SO APPROPRIATE
That's actually perfect, she has angel presence. Her knowing and intention is purely angelic, simple as that. As a human being, she'd say 'I'm no angel!', but trust me, this is a real one guys.
Had a friend a long time ago named Chris Chin. This was before finding Christ and becoming a believer. Funny looking back on it now. Signs are usually all around us but in a very subtle way.
@@rhythmindset6996No lol
Somehow I've always felt that our name has a subtle but significant impact on our personality ...
❤❤ perfect
Came to a lot of these realizations as a tattoo artist. We have to sit with people we don't agree with for hours sometimes. It's our job to make something beautiful for them.
Wow, I've never thought about that. It's so intimate too, not only proximity but your heart goes into your art. It must be so tricky to give it your best while clashing with a talking canvas!
Have you ever turned someone away?
Seeing myself as a prism instead of a broken mirror is wonderful
Yes! I found it so helpful, too! 🌈🌈
So strange how, sometimes, you stumble upon exactly what you need in that moment. Thank you.
The Universe has an uncanny knack for that😀
Selective perception but I think algorithms do their part as well these days
I’m a therapist and this is one of the best TED talks I have ever heard on mental health… Thank you, thank you thank you!🎉
"can you just.. welcome them here"
"can you welcome you"
I love the way she says it
She is phenomenal. A force of nature. I didn't even realize I had tears running down my face for a moment, that's how deeply she reaches. She bypasses the conscious mind and ego and speaks directly to your subconscious, the truth.
I wish that everyone had at least a fraction of her wisdom and intelligence. We would be a thriving, evolved global society in no time.
What a compliment! Thank you. 🙏
@@KarenFaith have you studied IFS??is this from IFS?? you are amazingly intelligent
I'm performing a scientific experiment: how many times do I have to watch this video in order to burn its wisdom into my brain so that I can recall it in times of stress.
Luckily, there is no end of stress with which I can test my hypothesis. :)
“Love is what happens when you stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” I’m now inspired to practice growing my “sphere of unconditional welcome”. 💗
The quote's brilliance is in its simplicity. I'm really interested in this practice!
@@dankozubal hmmmmm
@@dankozubal Thank you, Dan. It is super simple, and super useful. :)
This quote hit me so hard! YES
I’m just so blessed that every time I hit a wall, the universe sends me a lifeline. And this talk was it this time around.
The mind is hard to understand, the human mind is so complex, thanks for the message 😊
Psychodynamic psychology refers to this as the "committee in your head." I often ask my clients to identify who they have on their committee in their head, and if they want those voices (often from childhood trauma) to continue with a seat on the committee. What a well done talk, thank you!
Her voice is healing, and she really released the "me" who felt shaky with her voice omg 😂
Absolutely extraordinary. This is a masterclass in delivering a TED-style talk, how to use humor without stepping on the message, AND on the deeply misunderstood and under-appreciated skill of perspective-taking. What a gift to us working in the field of human connection. Thank you, Karen!
Thank you, Brian! I just watched yours and loved it.
@@KarenFaith Thank you! Feel free to connect elsewhere on the socials. I’m easy to find :)
@@KarenFaith Thank you for the shining example of authenticity, courage, humility, empathy/love, humor, more! I had flashbacks of John Bradshaw, who 31 years ago opened me up to inner-child work.
I will look up more of your work, both personal and general focus-group moderation.
Watched this 3x already, and will keep enjoying it. Brilliant & beautiful.
Thanks again.
Easily one of the best TED Talks I’ve ever watched. Awesome message and compelling speaker.
Even her name fits well.
@@JoSheeply 😅
@@JoSheeply :)
I’m sitting here crying. I’ve prayed for months for God to help me better myself. All myselves. The signs He has given me just the past few days are overwhelming but I’m welcoming them all! Your talk is awesome THANK YOU
You are not, you are never, alone.♥️ That's why we need each other so very desperately. Otherwise, we forget. 💪 Be strong, and very courageous. Be kind to yourself first.🦋
I am alone. God please come to me. Is it possible that my mental illnesses are too overwhelming to get past to receive the messages?
Ditto! I almost didn't listen because of the pain I knew it would expose. SHE told my story better than I think I could have.
@@dianejones4276 be careful because hoping for a savior that may never come can be even more detrimental. Try to think ligically
✝️
I have learned more from Tedtalk about myself than all the 65 years of myself. Sorry I haven't stopped by recently. But I'm back
This actually made me feel so much relief.
"The round table" of inner selves is exactly how I describe how I found the strength to rebuild myself and function again after falling into a sever depression when my partner passed I slept nearly all day but my mind was my inner selves sitting in a circle in a dark room bringing everything to light and talking through everything. To hear I'm not just crazy for how I did it and that others do too is such a comfort .
♥️
Thank you so much for sharing this. Sending you lots of love! ❤
Wow, definitely made me cry. That moment when you realize that we all have parts, and some of them just need a hug, like how you would hug a little kid.
I believe she is talking about Internal Family Systems.
yes i think so too
The ideas that I'm discussing are very similar to those in IFS, but my practice doesn't happen to come from there. The concept of multiplicity of self is OLD and unattached to psychiatry (Rumi, Walt Whitman, and the apostle Paul knew ages ago). The main idea I am sharing is Unconditional Welcome. It is an approach to engagement with the self and others which begins with full awareness and acceptance of the moment. And I didn't invent that, either. :)
I do appreciate all the commenters who recognize IFS and other philosophies here. It has been my experience that when something rings true, it can be found everywhere.
Top human. Scarily confident, funny, intelligent, professional speaker, beautiful voice, flawless diction and an actor's range of tonality and so incredibly expressive... Perfect live delivery from memory or ad-libbed?? AND with a vital compassionate humanist message and a bunch of cool insights on the way.
A tiny bit of vocal fry. Otherwise, excellent.
@@lmp9726 Get over yourself and stop searching so hard for superiority.
@@lmp9726 just say you’re miserable and have to see the bad in people.
@@Freetheebeesand yet they're welcome anyway
@@abby999 😂😂😂 dude's gotta open his sphere of unconditional love
I'm a therapist. This is WONDERFUL. Brilliant.
Thank you, Michele. 🤍
I am so grateful for therapist. Thank for doing what you do
@@esds yeah bro they see the good in the bad and the present in the lost, I think they see others as actual humans and not objects/side characters/NPCs which is what many of us may lack
"Only reality is the moment , everything else is thoughts . What's in front of you , where you are , what you see with your eyes is real and that's reality . Rest everything is your thoughts "
My mentor told me this and this thought helped me , maybe help you as well , try thinking that way .
Wow!❤
I am not looking for any kind of trouble. But she is the Karen that everyone needs to talk about ☠️💕
This is kind of people we need to make this world a better place
"Love happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it." Profound.
Im the joking dad and retired Marine combined. Just so you know Ms. Faith, im in rehab and have now incorporated your self-moderation into my daily mantra, as well as the "thank you for your input,remember our agreement"
🙏
I love knowing I am not the only one with a roundtable. The last few years have felt all of the things she mentioned. Her daily commute sounds like the last 6 yrs of my life. There's no worst feeling to me than being trapped in your own mind and know no one can get you out except you. I hope she knows how powerful this was for me!
Thank you, Phylicia. You are certainly not the only one. :)
It took youtube two months of recommending this to me every single day, but I hesitated. Until today. Thank you, Karen, I needed this.
Speaking of micro cues, the way she says, "Horrible" at 14:05 sounded to me like despair, terror, love, betrayal, and sadness all smooshed into a single word's time-couldn't have been more than 3/4 of a second in an otherwise positive and hopeful string of words and ideas. It got me. When I heard that, it was like a knife went through my chest and poked my heart-took my breath away for a second and made my eyes well up. Maybe because I know all to well what she's talking about. Maybe because, for the moment she said that, I felt for a split second that I wasn't alone. One thing's for sure, our thoughts and emotions and the way our minds work and everything about us works to make us who we are and how we experience and interpret what's going on is extremely complex. I think she's right. We should give ourselves more credit, be kinder to ourselves. So I hope you reading this right now, if you know what I'm talking about, I hope you can know too that you're not alone. I want to take this moment, in my own multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self, to extend my love to you in your multi-faceted sometimes good and bad and perfectly flawed self. We're not alone, you and I. And we can learn to live and love ourselves. It's gonna get better. It's gonna be alright. 🙏❤
Thanks, Mike. What you felt was exactly what I meant. 🤍
@@KarenFaithAbsolutely Brilliant Talk!! Loved it from start to end! ❤ Thank you SO MUCH!
And Thank you Mike! A few of Karen's words cracked me up, while a few made my stomach feel heavy as if it had dropped into my abdomen! Was keeping myself from tearing up I guess... But the way she put it - Really was a masterpiece!
This talk was uploaded 57 minutes ago... I just prayed about my struggle with self-love and acceptance....Never expected the answer to my prayer about learning to love and accept myself, would come through a Ted Talk on TH-cam. All I can do is cry and thank HIM for answering another prayer. ❤🩹
Start eating healthy
nah, all it shows is that the microchips are working
Maybe thank the human being, the one on this stage giving the speech, not your imaginary friend.
"Love happens when we stop deciding who deserves it" - Karen Faith
I feel so heard. This is how i think and feel things. How she used to tall to herself is how i talk to myself today. So many parts of me, so many that i love and am proud of, and so many that i hate, and am ashamed of. Fear that even if i do accept myself, maybe i won't change, because acceptance doesn't make the parts i hate go away, instead it gives them a place in my life. Like she used to feel, i want those parts of me gone, instead of present. But i want happiness, peace, and a sence of control over the choices i make for myself. Thank you for making me feel heard like I've never felt before.
This was the best TEDtalk I’ve heard in a while.
What a beautiful, meaningful conversation about honoring OURSELVES in every aspect.
Even the bright, luminous moon in the night sky has its dark sides… though by no means does it detract from the light it projects onto the whole world
This made me bawl so hard. "love won't be hard if you won't overthink who deserves it"
This was absolutely brilliant. Karen captured what I have been struggling with my entire life. It was no accident that I stumbled upon this video I saw needed to see this. Thank you so much Karen from the bottom of my heart.
You are very welcome, Stefan. Thanks for saying so. :)
I’ve just recently learned there are no such things as accidents. Everything happens for a definitive reason. We have all found this Ted Talk for a reason…eventually, that reason will come to us. Enjoy the journey😀
“And we’re not crazy to both LOVE and HATE camping” is when I knew this Ted talk was for me! 🤍🤣
Wow!
It's like she is speaking my mind, my heart and my soul. Never have I ever heard anyone describe anything so accurately it's like she is describing me but the beauty is she is describing all of us. Reminds me how we're all the same and all connected in this vast universe. Beautiful 😍✨😍🥹🥺😢
Love doesn't care which way you come or what state you are in when you get there. I have no words. Absolutely incredibly brilliant, life changing
"Just a mother trying to feed her baby in a world that she didn't trust" I'll be honest I judged that lady at first based on the description, but that single statement completely changed my perspective. Had to pause the video and ponder for a few minutes
I love this talk so much, after being exhausted of just giving away too much love for other people, I became dismissive of their emotions, trying to protect my peace, but the happiness and love I feel disappeared, asking where it went.. turns out it's because I stopped caring, the joy of helping someone out even in the smallest things were gone. The talk gave me comfort, Just welcome everyone unconditionally and not look for specific people to love, everyone deserves to be loved. Thanks for the comfort and security ❤️
“I promise I am going to take care of you, but I need you to get on board. I will listen to you but I will NOT obey you.”
Going through a rough breakup now and really needed to hear this. My inner-child is in disbelief of the trauma and keeps screaming and crying out for something (but, like a child, doesn’t know what it needs). I just have to hold him, hear him out, and promise it’s going to be okay- but being toxic to ourselves or others won’t resolve anything.
Hey, how r u doing????
Going through the same thing.
Everything will be alright.... ❤
How strange it is that I find it on a time when I needed all these answers in maybe exactly the way you addressed it. It is a very beautiful way. And I’m too going to give all my selves unconditional positive regard and I know it will work out❤
I'm so glad it was helpful to you, Ananya.
Manifesting!
I have done so much to "heal" and looked and looked for something that even scratches the surface. THIS has really, really helped. Thank you 💓
What a beautiful way to share how our emotional traumas reveal themselves to be our greatest gift to humanity! ❤
It is an amazing mystery. :)
“Love is what happens when we Stop trying to figure out who deserves it” ❤
Our depression speaks for us, far more than anything we can ever say at times.
Loud voice 🌹💞
And if we listen to it , with love and acceptance we can learn so much about ourselves ….
Oh my!!! You just described me perfectly!!! I have never been able to understand my CPSTD and all the voices that tell me who I am and am not...thank you for speaking my language...I hope one day I feel welcome to welcome me...
It's in this point of time that I realize it's normal to have a conflicting feelings. That I don't have to repeatedly justify myself why I still remain kind to other given they've hurted me badly.
This is one of the best Ted talks I’ve heard in my entire life. What a great speaker! She made me feel so good about me and my parts! Good reminder for me to not be rough on myself and start seeing what différents part of me are telling me and accept them as they are! ❤ that’s how the path to accepting and unconditionally loving yourself starts. Thank you
Accepting and not arguing with oneself. Listening and understanding should be a priority
I love this woman because that's how I've thought all the time and I've felt alone for thinking that everyone deserves love even if we don't know how to love.
Most of my me's aren't often left speechless, however we unanimously agree that we love you too. Thank you and Your welcome 💞
I knew that wasn’t a true statement, because I have never truly loved myself, but I do truly love my children and husband. I realized just how much more I loved them after my oldest son passed away. I wanted to die, I wanted to get away from the pain, I wanted to be with my son. But what of my other boys, what of my husband. Was I to inflict more pain onto them to escape my own. No, you definitely can love others more than yourself!! Thank you for this video, I have many voices also and no I’m not mentally ill. I think they are a bit of every person I’ve been impacted by, good or bad and pieces of me who haven’t had closure along this journey we’ve been having.
♥️
"Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it." So powerful.
Loving someone in my life is really hard, but once without thinking I sat next to that person and was surprised I actually did that and didn't care if it was them or some other person. Love really is universal.
I've watched a lot of TED Talks. Sooo many. Hoping to find what I can't put into words. This was, by far, the best TED I've ever heard. It encapsulated what I'm going through while trying to remember to not hate myself and give up. Yes, I have those voices and days, too. Like yourself, I have tools to navigate my fears and traumas, but sometimes, ...often in fact, I forget. Or sometimes the voices are too loud. Today I'm good. Thank you for reminding me to gently talk back. Too check in and to love myself always. ❤🙏🤗
I came across this video just at the right time and it literally changed my life. She did something that most therapist have difficulty in doing in just 15 minutes. An eye-opening, inspirational talk. Thank you Karen!
SAME.
Using the focus group to reimagine the self is a stroke of genius. We can imagine the moderator as a central self among our many selves, helping each of us to move towards a harmony of some kind. Wow! Thank you to the many people that constitute Karen Faith...
It's actually not a new new idea. The focus group maybe, but not the 'different personalities within you'. Friedemann Schulz von Thun is a German psychologist and expert in interpersonal communication and intrapersonal communication. He called his model 'the inner team'. And his work is based on Margaret Paul and Erika J. Chopich which are two American psychologists.
Schwartz’ Internal Family Systems practice in a wonderfully clear dialogue
exactly... I have shown this to patients on a psych unit to get this concept across without teaching it formally... its a lovely introduction to IFS in simple and relatable language
This shook me, and it feels like I will spend some time figuring out exactly why. In the meantime, it made me feel there's hope. We're here, right now, like this".
"Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it and welcome anyone, exactly as they are, in the moment.
I look at my fragmented self less as a n
broken mirror and more as a prism.
All of you are worthy of welcome."
This exact time last week I found myself having this talk. I gave into it, not expecting to wake up in the morning. I woke up started my week as usual but something different happened. I got back to work on the things I enjoy ,and I progressed much faster because all of me has been engaged to the process. I think it’s crazy that no matter how hard I push I can always push harder.
One of the BEST Tedtalks I've listened in years. Simple, poignant, solution driven. Karen Faith: THANK YOU! Simply BEAUTIFUL in its simplicity and profound for its resolution.
I lost my mother whom I was extraordinarily close with to suicide in 2018, although sometimes it feels like it was just yesterday still. I cannot begin to explain how much I identified with the things spoken in this video, they were words my soul needed to hear. I struggle with “beating myself up” a lot mentally. “She told me that we were never going to get better, and she wanted out of here. I asked her what I could do, she only told me she wanted to die, over and over and over”. Here’s to getting better.
As a mother, I know all your mum would want is for you to live a long & happy life. That’s all I want for my kids & all my mum ever wanted for me
🙏💕
this is the best tedtalk about self helf, it can be applied with everyone. when she said she accepted her harass-self, i was awaken, i never accept my bad-selfs and always judging them, but now i know the way to talk to them, thank you❤❤❤
Love is in the air, love yourself and others too
Wow. What a powerful message. I just listened to this while laying on the grass and watching the clouds. I have tears rolling down my face. Thank you Karen.
I really needed to hear this right now. Lots of me's are arguing with each other right now.
15 mins bringing me to self awareness, acceptance, and tears. Thank you.
I've had so many issues working on this, i feel like i did get better at dealing with it but still it's very hard at times.
Consider the fact that 1 year ago i was jobless, depressed, out of shape, heavy smoker and out of options in life as a 25yro, and at that time i was extremely rough with myself, i used to genuinely hate myself, and hate is a strong word.
Then i took a leap of faith and traveled to another country, i had to stop being so toxic with myself, psychologically and physically, it started with what i eat, i started to eat more healthy, stopped smoking... 6 months free of it! I started working out as well and learning the language of said country.
It's been such a wild ride, and despite the fact that i consider myself to have made such a good change in my life i can't but be harsh at myself at times, but i know why, some of these reasons are true in my opinion and some are just delusions that i created over the years.
I really plan on working on this and just free myself of the chains that i created.
You’re perfect ❤
You’re brave, please don’t give up on your journey.
@@CHRISTALMOUNTAIN
No one is perfect. No one. We don’t need to become narcissistic about ourselves inorder to have mercy on our imperfect parts.
❤️🙏
This is the best TED talk I've ever seen. I'm currently doing IFS therapy and I'm in awe at how practical Karen Faith illustrated the work it talks to love and welcome yourself. Thank you!
The new age imagery of the bubble eventually enveloping both of you was outrageously gorgeous!❤
that can you welcome you.... i'm trying so hard to welcome every part of me, but thank you, that can you welcome you is one of the things i need
She was the One speaking but We felt heard. 🙏🏼
It all starts with love. It all starts with loving yourself and when you do that you start understanding others around you. One day I simply looked at myself in the mirror and said out loud, I LOVE YOU. After I did that my life got better. I now have empathy with people that have rough personalities. It’s all about love.
I have always tried to make sense of what's going on in my mind to others but I was never been able to explain it. Karen did it so beautifully
Great message “Love is what happens when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it.” And it’s true that all parts of you deserve to be heard!
This is perhaps one of the funniest but also heartwarming TED Talk I've ever watch. Thank you very much for your sharing and I truly enjoy it!
I used to be my own therapist. I still am and the thing is I let myself feel my own feelings to make them go away. As she said to make room to this part of ourselves let this part being heard. And after I feel it and say how the situation sucks I ask myself questions, like what am I actually mad at. What do I want from this. they’re not always the nicest questions but they’re the right ones. I’m saying to this part of me. It’s sucks now but it’ll be ok, I love you. And I remind myself all this parts of me, they’re not always good
But they do want me to be better. It’s not perfect but I know to learn being the best I can
one of the best ted talks ive watched. this method genuinely helps me in moments of self hatred/anxiety. thank you so much
She's funnier than any standup comedian & more information than any online course... she's amazing ✨
"love is a house you can crawl in through window" statement that i loved the most and i will like to say that this ted talk by karen faith is best one among all of those which i have watched
Haven't seen a Ted this great in a while.
This talk reminded me of internal family systems. It all starts within and once u are able to accept all parts of yourself u can be more accepting of others . Thanks for this talk. We need to start needing to show ourselves unconditional love so we can show up for others.
The most moving Ted Talk I’ve ever watched 🙏🏽
A slow zone of love visualization, (the bubble of welcome, it stops the judgementalism from getting through, like the slow zone in the Expanse)
,coupled with the idea that we are disparate pieces of a fragmented entity that can be treated more easily as a group than a unit. Leadership can be applied to the psyche, but to connect, we have to see that the things that got us through are ok, but maybe not acting in alignment with what we want. They can be led, but not forced, to change. They will rebel if they feel rejected, so find the overlap in love rather than see the negative space in distaste.
A brilliant talk; thank you.
Beautiful and I’m grateful to have found this.
I have a voice in my head saying I wish I had heard this 37 years ago. Total acceptance. It's a principle required to deal with anything.
OMG! My heart cracked open when you mentioned 'when we stop trying to figure out who deserves it', I needed this thank you, Karen. It's nice to see one of you Karens taking lead, pun intended LOL!
I always feel like my mind is split, the voices in my head are all me, but not me at the same time. We talk, argue, comfort and love. We have peace with each other, no matter how horrible the condition we’re in. Each knowing that I love you unconditionally and I know that you love me back. My committee provides me safety and stability of myself. I don’t think they’ll ever quiet down, and I don’t need them to.