How to motivate yourself to change your behavior | Tali Sharot | TEDxCambridge

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 27 ต.ค. 2014
  • What does make us change our actions? Tali Sharot reveals three ingredients to doing what's good for yourself.
    Dr. Tali Sharot is a neuroscientist at University College London and the director of the Affective Brain Lab. She is a faculty member of the department of Experimental Psychology, a Wellcome Trust Fellow, and currently a visiting Professor at Harvard Medical School. Her research focuses on how emotion, motivation, and social factors influence our expectations, decisions, and memories.
    This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

ความคิดเห็น • 3.3K

  • @juliab1407
    @juliab1407 3 ปีที่แล้ว +9447

    i even had to motivate myself to watch this

    • @AyushKumar-ds4ei
      @AyushKumar-ds4ei 3 ปีที่แล้ว +149

      😂😂😂. It's okay it happens someone else might have to motivate himself or herself to finish this video in a single time

    • @jaylove1931
      @jaylove1931 3 ปีที่แล้ว +114

      LITERALLY SAME LMAO. Why am I like this

    • @angieaguilera3061
      @angieaguilera3061 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

      Literally omg

    • @tumtum6910
      @tumtum6910 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

      Yea cuz my friend told me motivation is overrated.

    • @Puertorican-pc5ep
      @Puertorican-pc5ep 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      Omg 😂

  • @stormeyes4
    @stormeyes4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3340

    All of these 2020 comments taught me that we are all coming here for self help. Proud of you all

    • @passerby4278
      @passerby4278 3 ปีที่แล้ว +39

      i love your positivity

    • @ngoc5122
      @ngoc5122 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@passerby4278 8iiiiiiiiFF(Da ((((D(D(D((D(D(Đ(D(((((((((D(((D(D(D(DDDĐ(D(DD(D(DDDDDĐ(Da DDD(D(DD((DDD

    • @stormeyes4
      @stormeyes4 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@passerby4278 that's all we can offer each other that has value, thank you!

    • @Pwecko
      @Pwecko 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      It's up to 2300 comments now.🙂

    • @gracek6414
      @gracek6414 3 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Aw im proud of you too 💖

  • @graceannneri6216
    @graceannneri6216 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2699

    1. Social incentives
    2. Immediate reward
    3. Progress monitoring

  • @diegomartinez5391
    @diegomartinez5391 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1117

    Notes:
    -Science shows that warning has little influence on behavior; it's effective but limited.
    -People tend to change their beliefs towards a more desirable option (in all ages)
    -Kids, teenagers, and elderly people are less likely to learn from warnings
    Three principles that drive the behavior and mind
    1-Social incentive: we are motivated through the positive actions of others.
    2-Immediate reward: reward your good behavior.
    3-Progress monitoring: We are motivated by seeing progress.
    -Highlight the process, not the decline
    -Giving people a sense of control is a motivator

    • @clearcontentment3695
      @clearcontentment3695 2 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Push and pull

    • @darklife7916
      @darklife7916 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      👏👏👏

    • @gauravb5740
      @gauravb5740 2 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      thanks for this brother youve helped me more that you can imagine i can write my report now

    • @Sandman-ie3nr
      @Sandman-ie3nr ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Appreciate this a lot

    • @yasserjalali2047
      @yasserjalali2047 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      @@gauravb5740 hi. could I help to write a report? This has bing my favourite topic since tow years ago

  • @lillybellep8956
    @lillybellep8956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4062

    I used to hate doing dishes. I always did them by myself growing up because my 2 siblings one older one younger would start a fight with me and I would fall into their trap by telling them to leave and I would do it by myself which is what they ultimately wanted. Somehow I would be blamed for causing the fights. So if they were gone I couldn't be blamed.
    Fast forward after marriage having to to dishes myself I began to leave them, as my mother did. But one day it changed. I was making a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil I was going to leave the kitchen and watch tv. But I would not know when the water was boiling. So I washed the dishes while waiting. It took about the same time to finish the dishes as it took to heat the water and brew the tea. I realized the chore was not as bad as it seemed and I got my reward of a hot cup of tea I enjoyed more knowing I had all ready done the chore I dreaded. I got into doing this everyday. Now
    I dont have to have the tea any more to do the dishes I enjoy doing them knowing how short a time it takes and I do them after every meal. I can enjoy going into the kitchen more because it is neat and clean. I must have had a lot of negative things associated with dishwashing. Thanks to cup of tea, no more.

    • @kathymyers7279
      @kathymyers7279 4 ปีที่แล้ว +103

      Edie Pasquini I really liked that! So simple but powerful. I had the idea to time how long it actually took to do chores around dread. I need to pick this up! Thankyou .

    • @lillybellep8956
      @lillybellep8956 4 ปีที่แล้ว +119

      @Kathy Myers Good for you! I didn't realize until I wrote that, the reason I had such a negative feeling about doing dishes. I thought it was because I had all ready done so much a as kid not realizing the fights and manipulations of my siblings had caused such negative feelings. My mom was not a good house keeper so I couldn't have friends over so I would have to clean the house too then I could have friends and it made her look better. When I was 21 I asked if my future husband could come stay for the weekend. He was visiting from RI University. No was the answer when I asked why, the answer from her was I never did anything around the house. This was my reward for cleaning the house every week so my sister could bring her boyfriend home from college for 4 lousy years. Needless to say I hate housework. So now I know the reason for that! I
      love it when my home is all cleaned and pretty the problem is my family does not care the time and effort that goes into making it nice, this is basically the same reaction all those years ago from my mother. She then, and my family now have someone to pick up and make a nice place for them but offer no positive feedback to me and consequently I feel used. That is negative. I don't know how to motivate myself to continue other than It pleases me to live in an orderly environment. I guess if I wait for someone to give me accolades that day will never happen so it is up to me to enjoy it the best I can.

    • @rahmad4137
      @rahmad4137 4 ปีที่แล้ว +41

      This is so lovely, as simple as it is. Dishes really aren't fun to clean regardless! Studying too..... Though it really is incredible how subtle changes of habit can lead us to things we do becoming so much simpler in our minds! thanks for the tea cup story as I'd love to find something for my own situation too!

    • @Kinobambino
      @Kinobambino 4 ปีที่แล้ว +23

      That's dope.

    • @eminimethodsdotcom
      @eminimethodsdotcom 4 ปีที่แล้ว +34

      @@kathymyers7279 Indeed. A simple and effortless change of perspective can sometimes work wonders.

  • @designer-garb572
    @designer-garb572 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1858

    That's how I raised my daughter with encouragement instead of punishment, worked out pretty great.

    • @tsipiry
      @tsipiry 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Rassini’s

    • @sklanguage589
      @sklanguage589 4 ปีที่แล้ว +109

      Sometimes the difference between punishment and encouragement is only semantics. “Pick up your toys and you’ll get to have a have a popsicle “ vs. “If you don’t pick up your toys you won’t be allowed to have a popsicle.”
      I tease my kids and tell them if they don’t behave I will give them enCouRaGemeNt (said in a creepy way). Ha ha.

    • @tiffanyelainejones5534
      @tiffanyelainejones5534 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      @@sklanguage589 yes! You're so right!

    • @chikaka2012
      @chikaka2012 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      I always found telling them to do the opposite of what you want them to do works best. But I think that might have something to do with my family genetics.

    • @tracyp.5566
      @tracyp.5566 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      By the way I completely agree with you! Good job!

  • @sadturn1740
    @sadturn1740 3 ปีที่แล้ว +559

    Less than a minute in “ so let’s say your trying to stop yourself from snacking”
    *freezes midbite in my ice cream bar*

  • @kaitlincullis8029
    @kaitlincullis8029 3 ปีที่แล้ว +598

    I play a little mind game that I learned from “Your Success Method by Michael Kennedy” …so whenever I feel that I’m gonna procrastinate on a task or feeling that my motivation is off, I start playing this “game” in my mind that reframes the whole task and makes it a whole lot easier for me to work on the task instead of letting my mind say “I’ll do it later”, its not the same as visualisations which is less powerful IMO

    • @sophiekeeling2637
      @sophiekeeling2637 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      tell us more about that please

    • @aishabah9401
      @aishabah9401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Yea can you please tell us what this “game” is

    • @aishabah9401
      @aishabah9401 3 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      @@itstek ah I get it I’m gonna try it because recently procrastination has gotten the best of me and it’s not great😬

    • @jackielaidler82
      @jackielaidler82 3 ปีที่แล้ว +17

      @@aishabah9401 I read recently that “perfectionists procrastinate”. If you always aim for 100%, maybe aim slightly lower and you may find it easier to get the task done. 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @sandielynmaemandabon135
      @sandielynmaemandabon135 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      You should also try reading 5secondrule by mel robins

  • @mindsvoices
    @mindsvoices 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3111

    I know why social media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time we post something (‘likes’ notification) which we don’t easily get in a real social interaction. That’s why some people look superior in social media but lack of confidence in their real life. By listening to this talk, I definitely agree that we need to focus more on the progress of what we/other people do, instead of the results. Because we cannot please people to give us the reward, so we have to value our progressing work as the reward.

    • @fokchuntungjames
      @fokchuntungjames 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Rizal Malawi yea reward cost a lot of money

    • @chrisgrahamthecyw6449
      @chrisgrahamthecyw6449 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Rizal Malawi Was

    • @haphucthien4904
      @haphucthien4904 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Rizal Malawi I have had a trouble with my learning at college. I am not sure what i will gain after finishing it. Will i have a good job? Will i earn enough money for myself? for taking care of my old parents? for taking care of my younger sister who is 10 years younger than me? For my future wife and kids? Instead of feeling fear, i have played game to get away from it. Until a day i reallize that i have become really addicted. I can't be able to study focusingly. My learning progess is getting worse and worse. Now i know that i have to come back to live my life helpfully. The immediately reward i get from playing game isn't what i should be into it.

    • @tuanpham6689
      @tuanpham6689 5 ปีที่แล้ว

      Phúc Thiên Hà tiếng anh tốt thế còn gì!:d

    • @LessonsInLife
      @LessonsInLife 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Yes Sir. You are in control of your words, the series you watch on TV, and the people you spend your time with. :)

  • @QuestionEverythingButWHY
    @QuestionEverythingButWHY 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1750

    “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
    ― Dale Carnegie

    • @socaliguy81
      @socaliguy81 4 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      Epic quote.

    • @fijiunlimited4503
      @fijiunlimited4503 4 ปีที่แล้ว +16

      Truer words never spoke.

    • @rashigupta868
      @rashigupta868 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      P

    • @jezra4427
      @jezra4427 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      People can be logical, if they're raised right and have logical teachers

    • @wesammagdywm
      @wesammagdywm 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      this is literally my favourite quote of all time

  • @joycemeyerministries7669
    @joycemeyerministries7669 3 ปีที่แล้ว +78

    I thank you Tali Sharot for motivating my daughter when thing went really had for her.
    It was really so bad that she attempted committing murder until you invited Mrs Lyra Holt Dean for your TED show program.
    Am really so grateful for her finical assistance in my daughters life thank you so much once again.

    • @joycemeyerministries7669
      @joycemeyerministries7669 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Lewis Hamilton OH i figured out Mrs Lyra Holt From a TED show hosted by Tali Sharot.
      She invited this particular woman and she introduced this fabulous type strategy for making money.
      It looked like a scam until we took the risk and tired it out and it worked.

    • @joycemeyerministries7669
      @joycemeyerministries7669 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Lewis Hamilton Honestly is not something we can talk about on the comment section i can give you her direct so you can contact her.

    • @joycemeyerministries7669
      @joycemeyerministries7669 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @Lewis HamiltonKindly contact@lyraholtdean. com that her direct mail feel free talking her and talk me later SMILES.

    • @tim6360
      @tim6360 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Sad when marketing bots try to scam people on legitimate youtube videos :(

  • @germandimplez
    @germandimplez 2 ปีที่แล้ว +64

    13:42 “Highlight the progress. Not the decline.” Scientifically proven fact. How many of us focus on the negative? Thx for the life lesson ❤️

    • @ebrelus7687
      @ebrelus7687 ปีที่แล้ว

      it's deeper. When you learn something in steps it is effective to stop for second or two after each successful step. brain literally needs moment to save new progress or it looseses it in continuous steps skipping it and overloading.

  • @kaycali4912
    @kaycali4912 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2015

    I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
    1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
    2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
    3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉

    • @nareshgupta7868
      @nareshgupta7868 5 ปีที่แล้ว +36

      Thank you for summerize this for me

    • @kaycali4912
      @kaycali4912 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Naresh Gupta no problem! 🙂

    • @Leadeshipcoach
      @Leadeshipcoach 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Khanda Hussein great summary!

    • @kaycali4912
      @kaycali4912 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Mike Davis thank you

    • @jayleonard4550
      @jayleonard4550 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      @@kaycali4912 Thank you your the best.

  • @Raghadhav
    @Raghadhav 4 ปีที่แล้ว +447

    "Fear induces inactoin while the thril of a gain induces action" well said!

    • @barbiegirl5657
      @barbiegirl5657 3 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
      1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
      2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
      3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉

    • @nightmoose
      @nightmoose 2 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@barbiegirl5657 good breakdown. I put a mirror up in my room a while ago and I think it accidentally transformed my motivation to work out. because now when I do pushups and see the difference in the mirror I think....hmm good stuff......imma do a few more! progress monitoring and an immediate reward all in one!

  • @user-rv6es3yt3s
    @user-rv6es3yt3s 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +39

    My comment will probably get lost but whoever reads this.. You got this! Whatever you are going through will get better hang in there ️

    • @MimaHope
      @MimaHope 14 วันที่ผ่านมา

      Thank you for your post. I have been "working" on my doctoral degree since 2015, it is now 2024...I need a change in my behavior to get it done.

  • @elpanchitoruso
    @elpanchitoruso 3 ปีที่แล้ว +55

    “If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.”

  • @hsetiono
    @hsetiono 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2255

    How to motivate yourself to change your behaviour:
    1. Social incentives (aka Social proof)
    2. Immediate rewards (aka Instant gratification)
    3. Progress monitoring (aka Show them the benefits)

    • @MrGregymc
      @MrGregymc 5 ปีที่แล้ว +47

      u r the best

    • @WitchyButSweet
      @WitchyButSweet 5 ปีที่แล้ว +189

      I suppose checking the comment section for a recap is immediate gratification 😬

    • @user-cb7nh3mz9q
      @user-cb7nh3mz9q 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

      99999

    • @teacherjacinto111
      @teacherjacinto111 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Thanks!

    • @nichevl
      @nichevl 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      Indeed, both straightforward Operant Conditioning techniques and for what its worth, works with imagination too even at abstract musings and could potentially therefore be useful in lucid dream states too ;-)
      If one then approached that path with keen intensity to planning ans support mechanisms such as feedbacks then we could accomplish virtually anything we wanted - it's the management of negative emotions and also through operant conditioning which should put the icing on that cake. Classic postive feedback issues...

  • @Aeonized
    @Aeonized 4 ปีที่แล้ว +293

    If people knew this, raising children, teaching students, motivating coworkers, then we'd have a better world.

    • @jamesgrosspietsch9104
      @jamesgrosspietsch9104 3 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
      1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
      2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
      3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉

  • @olaflieser3812
    @olaflieser3812 2 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    It works!
    Here in Germany it has become usual for a town to place a speed radar at the town entrance, and a monitor telling people "you are travelling at ... speed" with a "thankyou" and a smile if you comply with the speed limit - or a "please slow down" if traveling too fast. No police, no citation. But it really works, people want to comply if they have that positive feedback. Positive feedback rather than the abstract warning of dire consequences.
    Just like the nurses with the machine feedback they get regarding cleaning their hands as they enter a patient's room, which the presenter describes.
    It works with me and one can watch drivers respond to this!

    • @KellyBell1
      @KellyBell1 ปีที่แล้ว

      Some places use that here also. Texas, USA.

  • @Robertahausen
    @Robertahausen 3 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    LOVE your animations!! What a great way to introduce something that many have had a huge problem with. Good for you for starting with the core of the issue, which is the motivation to do anything that a person would desire to do.

  • @taniaabiazar1520
    @taniaabiazar1520 4 ปีที่แล้ว +670

    Notes:
    Most used strategy: Threats and Warnings. ---> Scare ourselves and others to change behaviors.
    Science shows that on average: warnings have very limited impact on behavior. Why? The common response on animals when threatened, is either freezing or fleeing NOT fighting, and this is the same for human beings.
    When something scares us, we tend to shut down and get rid of negative feelings like using rationalizations. This can cause a boomerang effect which means that we become more resilient with the behavior we want to change.
    People tend to change their beliefs to the most popular opinion ( positive information more likely).
    Results show that in all age groups take in information that you want to hear rather than information that they didn't want to hear.
    Kids/Teenagers/ Elderly: Did not respond to bad news.
    The three principles to change behavior:
    1. Social incentives ( what people think about you, what other people are doing, and what we can do to do better than others).
    2. Immediate reward ( can be as simple as praise) ( reward yourself or others now, in order to reach a desirable alternative goal in the future, one that the misbehavior can lead to a loss of the desired future goal. Example, if you stop smoking now, you can run 10 km more and win that race)
    3. Progress monitoring: We need to put up a measurement tool that allows us to progress ourselves, whether it was for us or other people. When we see the progress and the positive outcome of our behaviors, it will likely make us want to stick with what we are doing.

    • @premj82
      @premj82 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you

    • @josesotomorera
      @josesotomorera 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thanks 🙏

    • @akhsinilhami2418
      @akhsinilhami2418 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Thx

    • @terrifrances5257
      @terrifrances5257 3 ปีที่แล้ว +13

      i couldn' t finish watching this it was too sloooooow and repetitive... the notes were helpful thank you

    • @lovelintheonly9119
      @lovelintheonly9119 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      Dear Tania Abi Azar, i would like to thank you. Because your resume is really useful for me (obviously for answering my final semester exam) . Your resume trulyyyy safe my life. God Bless You!

  • @dannykrinkle4726
    @dannykrinkle4726 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2423

    I'm trying to stay motivated to keep watching this.

    • @younglionwell
      @younglionwell 5 ปีที่แล้ว +19

      are you a demon?

    • @silkyjay869
      @silkyjay869 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      lmfao

    • @mederkurd1762
      @mederkurd1762 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      LOL

    • @RS-Amsterdam
      @RS-Amsterdam 5 ปีที่แล้ว +38

      Me too but after this sentence I have to admit, I failed.

    • @searphhoney
      @searphhoney 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You can do it. I can do it.We all can do it. LOL

  • @jk.pranay_kamal4035
    @jk.pranay_kamal4035 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    In order to change one's behaviour its not fear which changes them.. but the their Values of life and their inner intention to change.. not something that was inserted into them from outside like fear.
    When a person changes their values of life and care more about good things and change their intentions to live a good life.. their behaviour will automatically change, their will power increases and many more but it takes 90-180 days to rewire the brain and thus change their lives.

  • @hameley12
    @hameley12 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I know it's been six years since this video was posted and I'm amazed at how up to date this information is! Lately, I have been using positive remarks, giving out short term and long term rewards to my nieces. They love it! They are six and eight years old, whenever they are doing something safe or dangerous I always say 'Hey! let's try something more fun! Later/tomorrow frozen yoghurt and gummy bears afterwards' I love being with them, with my sister though they are a bit different because she spoils them and gives them everything they want at the very moment just to keep them to stay still or stay quiet. I believe that we can learn a lot from children and from mid-twenties adults. Great content!

  • @student6830
    @student6830 4 ปีที่แล้ว +17

    I'm in university and I keep telling myself "if I procrastinate, I won't get good grades, I might fail, and I won't get an internship, I won't get a good job". I've been saying things like that since I was 10 or 11. And I still procrastinate a lot.
    This video changed my perspective. I should instead be telling myself "I WILL get good grades, I just need to procrastinate less. An internship and good job is ahead of me, if I make the choice of not succumbing to temporary pleasures and focus instead."

  • @LessonsInLife
    @LessonsInLife 5 ปีที่แล้ว +363

    Stop reacting to others and start responding. Reaction is automatic. Responding is consciously choosing your response. If you don't like your results, change your input, your thoughts, emotions, and expectations. - Marc Reklau

    • @DesertlizzyThe
      @DesertlizzyThe 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Love it. Like to copy but can't

  • @atlovordnassela
    @atlovordnassela 3 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I just love the way how she, with evidence, goes through science to practical life. Amazing!. Thank you so much!

  • @Bassario
    @Bassario 3 ปีที่แล้ว +204

    2014: "We all know washing your hands is the number 1 way to stop disease"
    Oh did we now. . . . . . .

  • @colunizator
    @colunizator 5 ปีที่แล้ว +839

    I quit smoking because of the idea that i was wasting my time and not my health.
    1 cig = 5 minutes
    1pack = 100 minutes
    1pack per day over a month = 50 hours
    It's up to you to decide for what you want to spend this time, plus it tastes and smells awful

    • @koxonutboy
      @koxonutboy 5 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Good for you dude

    • @TheAdriaanErasmus
      @TheAdriaanErasmus 5 ปีที่แล้ว +63

      I quit 7 years ago when I saw my one year old boy look up at me from the other side of a glass door. I decided right there that this is not the life or environment I want for my child. Both my wife and I quit within weeks after that.

    • @laxmandake6524
      @laxmandake6524 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      That's good calculation though. You might have got a lot of time to do whatever is necessary to be done. 👍👍

    • @moritzk4795
      @moritzk4795 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      Imagine what you can do if you spent 50hrs per month! Like learn an instrument, coding, meditate, sports. And if you spent it with sport you benefit twice as much!

    • @lilalila213
      @lilalila213 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      👊

  • @ginag.4064
    @ginag.4064 5 ปีที่แล้ว +163

    As a teacher of students with behavioral problems I reward them all the time. And they behave for the most part, produce results, are motivated and most importantly learn!! I've done it for 19 years and when people tell me I'm good at what I do, I know it's because kids are engaged and motivated to get their rewards, so they participate in classroom work.

    • @kathrynmckeown3595
      @kathrynmckeown3595 5 ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I swear by it. Even with my own sons to this day I use it. They're 19 & 17 & my foster son at present is 16 now. They respond well and even compete with each other. It's great for their confidence and self esteem. I haven't quite got to 100% results for the chores yet but I remain hopeful 😃

    • @maralysekaitlin3346
      @maralysekaitlin3346 4 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Gina Gutierrez what are the rewards that you give to them? My best friend is a new teacher and is looking for positive reinforcement ideas! Thank you in advance.

    • @DesertlizzyThe
      @DesertlizzyThe 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Did you see the News in LA when a teacher gave her class incentive reward for doing well on a project?
      She offered pizza for lunch for ALL. But she was shut down by the school Principal ! He took all ordered/ delivered pizzas away!! He said its a bad idea because other classrooms don't get any pizza. 😨😱 OMG! He certainly was a demotivating Principal. Negative thinking.

    • @SarFirraEdits
      @SarFirraEdits 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      give me an example or solution on how to get motivation to change my behaviour on quitting my masturbation addiction?? can you throw some light on that?

    • @woodylongshore9671
      @woodylongshore9671 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DesertlizzyThe, I concur. That is a principal who just does not get "it." S/he obviously needs encouragement to pursue continuing education in the area of psychology of learning, motivation, and solution-focused cognitive-behavioral approaches. My question is who is the boss of this principal? Perhaps this individual too needs to lead by effective example.

  • @justsomeone1929
    @justsomeone1929 3 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    Actually when I am sad what I do is that I like to make a song and sing it so I put my emotions in the song and note it down . And than something happens very magical actually I become so happy and proud of myself that I made a really sad song and that day changes into great and proud day from a sad and broken or hurt day .
    It's all different for each other
    What is your thing , that you do and that motivates you and make you happy.
    If you don't know than observe your self your emotion how it changes and you will find a key that you never knew was there.
    Thank you for those spent their time reading it.
    Now go and remember that you are the key and you can only motivate your self the best.
    Go go achieve it
    Have a nice day😁🙂
    I believe in you.And even if it's your bad days going on dont worry every time passes every emotion goes with the time and new one comes.
    Again thank you for your time madam/sir

  • @yourcalmplace
    @yourcalmplace 2 ปีที่แล้ว +421

    My comment will probably get lost but whoever reads this.. You got this! Whatever you are going through will get better hang in there ✨❤️

  • @det3ctiveconan904
    @det3ctiveconan904 4 ปีที่แล้ว +142

    When something scares us, we tend to shutdown.
    When we are faced with fear we tend to shutdown in order to eliminate the negative feelings.
    Highlight the progress not the decline.
    Rewards positive behavior. Don't focus on negative behaviour.
    Fear induces inaction.

    • @adrianagzm
      @adrianagzm ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I want go to the gym but it’s the fear inside of me.

  • @itisvvn
    @itisvvn 4 ปีที่แล้ว +33

    What a speaker, immensely fluent with speech without any pauses or fillers

    • @jennygeng4780
      @jennygeng4780 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      ikr, she didn't even use "um" during the entire speech

    • @unbareability7066
      @unbareability7066 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      She's on crack.

  • @balakaythesloth
    @balakaythesloth 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    I feel like other people have always had it so much easier than me. I've always struggled with this so much. It's so hard to motivate myself. I've been watching videos like this thought and it's really helped me. I don't even like TED talks but this helped me today. I needed to hear it

    • @ebrelus7687
      @ebrelus7687 ปีที่แล้ว

      Clean your room and mind and buy a beef steak. Good first meal daily, enough sleep with proper protocol to sleep well

  • @7anter
    @7anter ปีที่แล้ว +6

    I watched today teds about game addiction.
    And there were four points why it appears.
    1) escaping from problems
    2) social communications
    3) challenge
    4) and the possibility to see progress
    Of course immediate rewards are also there.
    So, I think this video tells real things

  • @AmbiCahira
    @AmbiCahira 5 ปีที่แล้ว +171

    Honestly, a good way to get yourself to care faster is to want to be proud of yourself and celebrate what you did despite being difficult in that moment. If you ask "am I proud of myself?" Can really make a difference.

    • @chrisantonio3553
      @chrisantonio3553 4 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      I've been beginning to realize this these past few months and I'm beginning to feel like I can do whatever tf I put my mind to, again you know like I always knew. But the daily struggles in life sometimes eat you up. Bad habbits and addictions which you tend to really adapt to. Gotta remember who you are. Maybe consider the odds of your existence... Only god knows ! People are amazing!! Learn to love others and value their wellbeing as you should your own. I truly believe that the more knowledge that we strive to obtain, the easier it will be to achieve this. Just do what you love to do, as well as what your heart desires!

    • @scary85
      @scary85 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Pride is a selfish emotion.

    • @highstandards6226
      @highstandards6226 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@scary85 but it's there, nonetheless. Vinegar/sugar?
      Too much of which this morning?

    • @roachcuca3190
      @roachcuca3190 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@scary85 so according to you loving and caring oneself is selfish?

    • @woodylongshore9671
      @woodylongshore9671 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ambi Cahira, you are referring to cognitive dissonance. You want your real self to move closer to your ideal self. You can do it. Keep up the good work! A higher level of congruence between your ideal self and real self too further reinforces positively future cognitive processing and behavioral outcomes. Do it.

  • @netzjan
    @netzjan 5 ปีที่แล้ว +505

    Great talk! Also explains why all the little games on mobile phones are so terribly addictive: immediate reward (3 stars), gradual increase of challenge, possibility to do a level over and see immediate improvement, compare with results of others etc. Especially for kids, real life has a hard time competing with that, it's just "too much effort and too little / too distant reward".

    • @kimberlyslagle8463
      @kimberlyslagle8463 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

      Exactly what I was thinking! Now how do we take that magic and use it in real life?

    • @MyOver50
      @MyOver50 5 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      I am very guilty of playing cellphone games... I had this problem years ago and now it's back. I'm not sure why I'm at it again, but it's frustrating.

    • @fokchuntungjames
      @fokchuntungjames 5 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yea addictive games ruin my social life

    • @forisma
      @forisma 5 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@MyOver50 don't blame yourself. You probably need it. I'm in my game period now as well, just enjoying it.

    • @robertowens6654
      @robertowens6654 5 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Same thought came to my mind. She could have used that example 😀

  • @michaelravenwood5697
    @michaelravenwood5697 2 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    God bless you Tali. I've used this ever since watching it for the first time &, after decades of trying, I've established a daily practice of breath work, visualization, meditation & exercise... I'm grateful for your work & this talk!!!

  • @deemaahmed9949
    @deemaahmed9949 3 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    I absolutely agree with you because we love to be rewarded and encouraged by others

  • @GALAXYRADIO13
    @GALAXYRADIO13 4 ปีที่แล้ว +356

    I need everyone to wish me luck. I’ve got a meeting at the bank in a few minutes, and if all goes well, I will finally be debt free.
    I’ m so excited, I can barely get my ski mask on.😆😆😎😄

    • @hyunseokcho9496
      @hyunseokcho9496 4 ปีที่แล้ว +12

      I hope your meeting went well. Even if mot, i still support you for striving to be better. You've got this!

    • @manukrishnanms1317
      @manukrishnanms1317 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      What happened??

    • @Desvarian
      @Desvarian 4 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      [Also wants to know]

    • @Nezzen-
      @Nezzen- 4 ปีที่แล้ว +71

      Uhh, you guys do know that he's saying he's gonna rob the bank... right? lol

    • @SHARK-0427
      @SHARK-0427 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I dont know you, so dont wait for any good wish from me please

  • @22februari1999
    @22februari1999 4 ปีที่แล้ว +63

    "Instead of using warnings about bad things that can happen in the future (like disease), it uses 3 principles that we know really drive you rmind and your behaviour.
    1. Social Incentive
    We're social people: we want to know what other people are doing, we want to do the same and we want to do it better. (...) Highlighting what other people are doing is a really strong incentive.
    2. Immediate Rewards
    We value immediate rewards, rewards that we can get now more than rewards that we can get in the future. You're choosing something that's sure now, rather than something that's unsure in the future. Immediate rewards give us a way to bridge the temporal gap between doing an action now that is good for us in the future, until that action becomes a habit.
    3. Progress monitoring
    The brain has efficient coding of positive information about the future, but is worse at processing negative information. This means that you'll want to highlight the progress people make, not the decline. (E.g. Kid smoking: If you stop smoking, you'll be better at sports.)
    These 3 points can help gain a sense of control over an action which is very important for people trying to change their behaviour.
    We do however still need to communicate risks, and there isn't a 1-solution-fits-all. However, if we want to motivate change, we'll want to change our approach because fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gain induces action."

    • @beshirliben9101
      @beshirliben9101 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      A very good summary, thank you.

    • @solodyako
      @solodyako 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thank you! You rock

    • @andresv4331
      @andresv4331 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      What a great recap. Thanks.

    • @lilinkan7854
      @lilinkan7854 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Thanks for the condensation!

    • @DesertlizzyThe
      @DesertlizzyThe 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      For sure, we cannot move forward if we don't think "forward". If we are stuck in negativity thinking...as stuck in the past, we cannot move forward. Positive strokes folks

  • @jayani6584
    @jayani6584 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    "The fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gains induces action. If we want motivate change or progress we might want to think about the above on how we want to do it". No solution fits all, but this gave a good insight as to deciding the best strategy when dealing with individuals. It's also true that people like to be in control therefore social insentives, motivators and progress monitoring are great tools to use to give them the control while motivating change and progress.

  • @elesterowers5388
    @elesterowers5388 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    I respect you sharing your story about your Dad. It help me to reflect on my time with my Dad, he was born in 1896, and I was born in 1956 and I was only 11 years old when he passed

  • @JuliatteJ
    @JuliatteJ 4 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    The spiritual guide in me says, always focus on the positive rather than the negative. Us humans are more delicate than we would ever like to admit. Including myself.
    That said, I am one who has grown up with a lot of fear which I learned as a mechanism for living my life. It has made me miserable and quite sad.
    I find this video reassuring and uplifting, to remind myself and all of us, to always stay and focus on the positive. 🌸

    • @smee7q470
      @smee7q470 ปีที่แล้ว

      exactly how i feel now thank you for existing

  • @donnas1444
    @donnas1444 4 ปีที่แล้ว +21

    Very impressive and motivating! I love how you go in-depth by breaking the information down into easy understanding! My ADD brain needed this! Thank you, keep up the good work and don't allow the negatives or critics to hinder your growth and mindset!

  • @catherinesullivan7957
    @catherinesullivan7957 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    My greatest motivator is Me . I try to surround myseff with positive peoples to include family and friends. .I read years ago to surround my self with people that enjoy challenges and growth. Of course negative people are everywhere. I just keep moving and following my dreams.

  • @add2console163
    @add2console163 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    To be motivated is to be reminded why you are doing things. There may be times of no progress, then take a break and dont give up. Only you can motivate yourself!

  • @janeryu5431
    @janeryu5431 5 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I love you, Tali Sharot~! I wish you all the peace, joy, and satisfaction in the world!!

  • @chrislee176
    @chrislee176 4 ปีที่แล้ว +45

    Summary: Threats and scare-tactics fail to incline people to change their choices -rather, they induce a fight/flight response and a bias to incorporate information that reinforces existing behaviour. Social incentives/highlighting a comparison to others' actions, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring with a sense of control, fare better.

  • @josephsapien1590
    @josephsapien1590 2 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    It's amazing that we have good men and women to get up there and teach others about ways of living, I really wish that we had more classes like this around 92123, because I know that I could use this to help me better my life

  • @Malery
    @Malery ปีที่แล้ว +7

    This is wonderful and may also apply to anxiety I have. I find myself not doing things I want to do, but I also have a fear I won't have enough time to do them. I feel overwhelmed. If I look at what I would gain from doing these things (pleasure, accomplishment, etc) instead of thinking I am running out of time, I could be more motivated by the gain than the fear.

    • @ebrelus7687
      @ebrelus7687 ปีที่แล้ว

      The faster you try to the slower you become. The more you loose sight of now, the more you drift beyond here and now.
      Building a plan a daily structure and creating habit of fulfilling list of goals with one most important in focus to finish that day to feel pleased helps a lot. it grounds you in the task at hand and limits distractions.
      But nothing like that will fix bad sleep habits, bad diet without enough balanced proteins and healthy animal fats, meat,fish, eggs dairy or chaos of thoughts left loose instead of organising them f.e. on paper especially before sleep (nsdr helps a lot).

  • @amorfatikhb
    @amorfatikhb 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    the way she explained this, basically positive reinforcement, actually sounds doable. i think i'm going to do just that, with the progress reports and all.

  • @baudiomusic
    @baudiomusic 4 ปีที่แล้ว +89

    that is very insightful and is just what i needed to know ... self-motivation can be an uphill struggle and i don't believe anyone is exempt.

    • @tohrubot8211
      @tohrubot8211 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      “When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
      ― Dale Carnegie

    • @jezra4427
      @jezra4427 3 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Some people are naturally good at motivating themselves, while others might need a push from someone else. I have ADHD and I work best when I'm forced to lol. So many interesting things in this world keep distracting me

  • @AdamHMortimer
    @AdamHMortimer ปีที่แล้ว +7

    To all those that continue to seek, grind and make it happen, I honor you! The best is yet to be!!!

  • @DoubleRInterns
    @DoubleRInterns 2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I see a field of sunflowers in your future as you continue your amazing journey, Aly. Congratulations on this excellent mission!

  • @keithscommunityanddomestic9513
    @keithscommunityanddomestic9513 4 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Yes people must absolutely be recognised and rewarded for the progress they make so they feel valued and motivated to contribute to a cause they can believe is good. What I find really interesting is that many people seem to value more time off work more than a pay rise. People are looking for time to recover, relax and enjoy life more, and when people are given this opportunity they often perform better at work, this is why no work Wednesday can be a good idea. Thank you for this insightful video :)

  • @rlee2772
    @rlee2772 4 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    On my daily to do list I always put 2 things that I do anyway so I never feel like nothing is getting done. Keep life positive 😀

  • @BinhThanh-je7zx
    @BinhThanh-je7zx 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    thanks for this video. I was motivated so much. I was very upset about my future, like I don't know where to go, what am I going to do to improve myself. in fact, I tried to quit smoking and do exercises so many times but I failed. after watching this video, I realized that I am doing the wrong way, trying to do something without progress monitoring and immediate rewards. I will get myself up and try again, Thomas Edison said: 'Our greatest weakness lies on giving up. The most certain way to success is to try just one more time.' Thanks for motivating me. I love this video.

  • @SamiraAbdelghany
    @SamiraAbdelghany 3 ปีที่แล้ว +547

    You inspired me

    • @andreamascetti2304
      @andreamascetti2304 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shamimahammed8498 44r4444444444r444444444444444444r4r44r444444r444444444444444to 4444444444444444444444r4444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😆😂😂😂😂😆😂😂😂😂😚😚😂😊😚😂😚😚😚😊😚😚😂😚😊😚😂😊😂😚😊😊😊😂😚😂😊😊😊😚😚😚😑🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️💋🧞‍♂️🧞‍♂️🧞‍♂️🧞‍♂️🤱🤱🤱🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️

    • @adonisheredia1863
      @adonisheredia1863 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shamimahammed8498 hi

    • @Pyotaro
      @Pyotaro 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I read this and thought, oh whatever... then I watched the whole thing...
      "I FEEL THE SAME MANNN"

    • @sheryarahmed6331
      @sheryarahmed6331 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      She's an Israelite.

    • @lockheedmartin286
      @lockheedmartin286 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Ok

  • @carolineashbourne4657
    @carolineashbourne4657 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    That was phenominal. It totally makes sense. How impactful to use this for any coaching or teaching practice. This will help so many people

  • @RealEstateInsider247
    @RealEstateInsider247 4 ปีที่แล้ว +9

    16:13 "Fear ... the fear of losing your health, the fear of losing money (etc) ... induces inaction. While the thrill of a gain induces action. And so, to change behavior in ourselves and others, we may want to try these positive strategies rather than threats which really capitalize on the human tendency to seek progress."

  • @drawwithambu65
    @drawwithambu65 2 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Feeling so relaxed after hearing this.....I always try to fit in good habits within a good and healthy daily routine.....but i can't be consistent....but swear from now on I'm gonna make it....

  • @multirichardb
    @multirichardb 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

    Giving people a sense of control is a really important motivator. Motivation is directly connected to the emotional modality of our dopamine secretion, which is directly connected to pleasure, pain lymphatic secretion, equaling instant movement.

  • @datpham3230
    @datpham3230 3 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you for your great talk
    1. Social incentive
    2. Immediate reward
    3. Progress monitoring

  • @NancySolariLivingFullOut
    @NancySolariLivingFullOut 5 ปีที่แล้ว +110

    Positive thoughts create positive actions so thank you for highlighting that crucial fact! Changing you verbiage and mindset is the start of achieving better outcomes and living full out.

    • @panteraforever9411
      @panteraforever9411 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Nancy Solari YOU HAVE A GREAT CHANNEL AND YER PRETTY . GOD BLESS YOU MORE !

  • @multirichardb
    @multirichardb 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Highlight the progress, not the decline. I find that when I give compliments, people respond to me in a satisfying fashion, which is similar to highlighting their progress in the present. And I've been giving sincere compliment's for 20+ years.

  • @jackpotgpt
    @jackpotgpt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I’ve decided to stop being a procrastinator and take life by the horns. I started my TH-cam and in it I’m gonna share my journey

    • @sleepy-cg4ug
      @sleepy-cg4ug 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      I just subed your content is 🔥

    • @jackpotgpt
      @jackpotgpt 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      @@sleepy-cg4ug Thank you. Your support means a lot

    • @Pwecko
      @Pwecko 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      I'm going to start being a procrastinator. Tomorrow.

    • @willi898
      @willi898 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Just subbed you. You are interesting and watched some of your videos

    • @DrakeRing
      @DrakeRing 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Procrastination exists:
      @@Pwecko : I am about to end this man's whole career

  • @ifeanyio7253
    @ifeanyio7253 4 ปีที่แล้ว +73

    Profound insight on motivational psychology and behavior change. Great work Dr. Sharot!

  • @jenniedlamouree575
    @jenniedlamouree575 4 ปีที่แล้ว +43

    I know this to be correct from my own reactions to speed limit sensor cameras on the road. When I know I am approaching the type that highlights your speed on it’s digital display board and says ‘Thank You’ in green writing, when you are at or below the speed limit, I like to see that ‘Thank You’ and make doubly sure to keep my speed in check. ... But the signs that just flash up and only say, ‘SLOW DOWN’ in red writing, do not have the same affect on me. As we are all not perfect, occasionally these negative ones will show up on your journey and literally shout at you to SLOW DOWN. Unfortunately I must say the only response I get is to be irritated by them if I have unintentionally set one off. In fact I have even noticed that some roads that have this type of speed deterrent, come on no matter your speed just to reinforce the speed limit on that road, and they definitely have a negative affect in me. Maybe the Highway Agency should consider this aspect of human psychology, when it comes to trying to make the roads safe?

  • @leandrobaluyotjr5181
    @leandrobaluyotjr5181 3 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Very good lecture ! Highlighting the positive outcome of a positive change in our attitude ,behavior and practise on matters that needed improvement correlates with the principle in metaphysics i.e. like attracts like ; we harvest what we've planted .

  • @pokemonfanthings4444
    @pokemonfanthings4444 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I love this especially the bill on the fridge story your husband sounds amazing plus it’s such a vivid example. I am going to use this.

  • @DesertPepper
    @DesertPepper 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I'd be happier seeing my glass as half full then half empty. I agree with the power of positive thinking. Nice talk.

  • @dalekdx
    @dalekdx 5 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    One of the best Ted Talks I have watched. I always wondered why they say fear is met with flight or fight, but don't mention freeze. I have had anxiety issues on and off most of my life and I know that freezing is the way I react to it almost always. Tali Sharot makes a lot of sense explaining why fear isn't a good motivation for changing anyone.

  • @shahnajrul4097
    @shahnajrul4097 2 ปีที่แล้ว

    I am just a small voice but I just want to say thank you to Forwago. This program helped me to build self-confidence and taught me how to believe in myself. More people should find out about it. Thank you, Forwago!

  • @5MinutePsychology
    @5MinutePsychology 3 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Emotional Intelligence is one of these elements of our personality we can work on and develop it. I have been observing my clients as they were working on their EQ and I loved their results. Emotional Intelligence is also a way to understand ourselves better and others, too.

    • @ebrelus7687
      @ebrelus7687 ปีที่แล้ว

      I prefer more rational inteligence. Training mind to not get emotional and don't care about emotional, irrational people. Helps even better.
      Once it all was simply called controlling oneself and observing world. No big intelligence in that.

  • @yourrighthands
    @yourrighthands 5 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Personal Development is key to finding your true self!

  • @frenkiedesorm7722
    @frenkiedesorm7722 5 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    By listening to the TED every day, I have gained knowledge from the talk and I completely quite social media accept TH-cam.

  • @jonazwayneaguilar783
    @jonazwayneaguilar783 3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Been searching for some help on how can I motivate myself, found this, and it inspired me as a person with anxiety.

  • @annadobysh1420
    @annadobysh1420 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I used to hate my fears and try to avoid them. But then, to overcome them i push myself to do what is scared me again and again. It's changed my behaviour to the amazing life where there is no place for fears and anger.

  • @susanschafer1248
    @susanschafer1248 5 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    This is such valuable info...maybe something we all know at some level. I really enjoyed this talk. She was very clear and really distilled a lot of information down to what's essential in this fantastic talk.

  • @wonderwoman1199
    @wonderwoman1199 5 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Lovely talk. Thanks for sharing. I wish most of the organisations followed this . We'd have less stressed and better citizens.

  • @kimjama2523
    @kimjama2523 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Wow. Just wow. Every tiny little detail you explain it coherently and comprehensively

  • @amacurya
    @amacurya 3 ปีที่แล้ว +34

    Never knew that Claire Dunphy was such a talented speaker and researcher.

    • @itay8437
      @itay8437 3 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Lol.. jokes on the imagination between two different people always get me :)

    • @HarishKumar-ef4gr
      @HarishKumar-ef4gr 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      Bruuuuuuuh

    • @astutisinha9090
      @astutisinha9090 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      No, no, no no no no no!

  • @chadrides914
    @chadrides914 4 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    For some reason, I really like just, simply, listening to this women talk. Soothing.

    • @chadrides914
      @chadrides914 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      Mark Kenny “What a Chad”? I don’t understand what is ment by your statement.

  • @myenglish6969
    @myenglish6969 5 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    I improved my English when I listen this video everyday. Thank you

  • @vitus6644
    @vitus6644 3 ปีที่แล้ว +37

    I think self discipline is way important. you just have to do it...with motivation or without, just because you took a decision and you must stick to it.

    • @akiliturner6204
      @akiliturner6204 3 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      i don't believe self-discipline is that simple. Motivation is like the engine that keeps us running. It's the force that drives us to produce desired results. It's our inertia. Without motivation it's easy for some of us to chose the less-productive or the instantly gratifying option-- especially when theres little to no consequences. When you grasp the concept of self-motivation , the discipline and commitment just comes naturally. From a book i've learned as humans, our biggest motivator is freedom of control. We want to feel in control of our environment and our lives and not feel forced. By giving ourself choices in our daily chores/tasks/commitments, we earn back that sense of control thus making us more motivated to follow through (because it feels like our own decision and not anyone else's). For instance, we know when we go into work we have an unruly list of tasks to complete by the end of the day; by simply asking ourselves "what would i like to complete first", "what time will i take my break?" or just simply giving yourself the option to complete what task and when, will gratify us with a sense of control we innately desire. From a person who lacked self-discipline for a long time, i had to re-teach myself how to motivate and learn long-term gratification is better than instantaneous. You sound like a pretty disciplined person and like you already have your big motivator yourself (self-commitment). For people like me, that's not a big motivator; i'm pretty okay with falling through on tasks because i don't care too much. If you're interested in the book it's called "Smarter, Faster, Better: The Transformative Power of Real Productivity". It's a great read and dives into the neurological science behind motivation as well as psychological.

    • @downwardbrainspiral
      @downwardbrainspiral 2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@akiliturner6204 i love your take on this, it made me feel much better about myself and was very well-written, thank u and have a nice day! :)

  • @felixwatkins958
    @felixwatkins958 3 ปีที่แล้ว +96

    The comment she makes about hand washing certainly resonates in the era of Covid-19.

  • @AxeKick80
    @AxeKick80 4 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    This is one of the best talks I’ve heard. It’s so accurate.

  • @edwardspencer-small7021
    @edwardspencer-small7021 4 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    I've struggled with procrastination all my life. One thing I've done recently is to start compartmentalising each part of my day. i.e. I need to be doing x at 7pm, so I need to do this now to free up that block of the day.
    Especially at night this helps, because often I would stay up till 3am (often later) just browsing online and doing nothing important. Once I started viewing sleep as another part of one huge (as opposed to viewing each day as separate to each other, meaning I could stay up as long as I liked because it's the end of the day and I can put off sleep for a little bit) that's when everything started to click into place, and I could actually get on with everyday tasks like normal people do. It's stopped me feeling like I'm fighting through the day to get everything done, and feels more like I'm in control of my life.
    Sure, there are days where I struggle to do this, especially if I've broken this new daytime routine by going on vacation, or travelling, but I figure this is because I've had a lifetime routine of no routine, and it'll be a long time before this new routine becomes second nature to me, it may take years even, but at least I know I'm on the right path to sorting out this grave issue of mine.

    • @craigwallacewilliams5534
      @craigwallacewilliams5534 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Eddie Spencer-Small perhaps you should review Briggs Meyer 16 personalities in which 2% only are INFJ.. Rare & Very Typical Symptom or Behavior.
      Let me know what you think. Please.

    • @speedytempo3819
      @speedytempo3819 4 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow, that's exactly what I'm doing now! Wasting my time and putting off the things I have to do later. I hope I can follow your good example.

    • @edwardspencer-small7021
      @edwardspencer-small7021 4 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      @@speedytempo3819 It's getting started that's the hardest thing, but once you get into a rhythm it's much easier to continue with. Also if you can commit to just 5 minutes of whatever task you're putting off (as opposed to an hour), it's more manageable. Good luck. Procrastination is a horrible affliction.

    • @edwardspencer-small7021
      @edwardspencer-small7021 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@craigwallacewilliams5534 Apparently I'm an INFP-T, and I've looked at the characteristics and they hit home: creative, private, takes things personally. It's like I'm reading a description of me!
      "The true friends of people with the Mediator personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life" That is me.

    • @speedytempo3819
      @speedytempo3819 4 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@edwardspencer-small7021 I know. Thanks for the tip

  • @Saniya-jz5id
    @Saniya-jz5id หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    ”People tends to change their beliefs towards a more desirable one ” - very trueee

  • @arfatahmad2726
    @arfatahmad2726 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    What I learned,,just stay positive..Don’t think what this addiction or problem in my life will do if I continue to do rather think if I discontinue this addiction or solve problem how beautiful my personal life and of my loved ones will become.

  • @NadiaHam
    @NadiaHam 4 ปีที่แล้ว +27

    I've been following her for a few months and I think she's amazing, I love her colorful artwork and I've even buy her book, she has a lot of incredible examples and techniques to try, she's a big inspiration for a lot of artists, including myself!

    • @yasserjalali2047
      @yasserjalali2047 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Could you send me the PDF of her book??

    • @zoilie
      @zoilie ปีที่แล้ว

      What is the name of the book

    • @SHANTAEBERRY23
      @SHANTAEBERRY23 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is my first time and i no am going to enjoy listen to TED talk it will help me out alot

  • @GrowInTheDark
    @GrowInTheDark 4 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    She's good. The points are really true to your heart.

  • @davidcharette9820
    @davidcharette9820 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    Their laughter made me want to listen to her cause I thought it was rude cause they were just trying to shrug off the information and use the laughter as a coping mechanism cause they didnt like the truth. What I got from this is that we need to reward ourselves for our efforts. I'm going to try to get back on my routine because of this. I love my routine and the reward is that I get to help my mental health as I have Bi Polar and its hard for me to wake up early. I literally just sleep till 2 sometimes 3 pm. This really helped motivate me for sure.

  • @Dil.Careem
    @Dil.Careem ปีที่แล้ว +1

    Inspirational video. We cannot solve any problems with the same behavior we used when we created them.
    I changed my behavior for happiness as my behavior matters to lead my life with peace.

  • @joschistep3442
    @joschistep3442 5 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    In some villages in my country they connect velocity measures to display panels.
    So instead of paying a fine, you will get a 😁 happy smiley for appropriate speed and a ☹️ sad smiley if you're driving too fast.
    This actually works with me ^^ I'm not only slowing down but I also keep the low speed.
    On the other hand I automatically speed up after passing by a speed camera.

  • @shirleycolee1
    @shirleycolee1 5 ปีที่แล้ว +76

    Notice and appreciate what you want more of - in yourself and others. It will grow. Ignore what you can of what you'd like to extinguish, it will diminish.

    • @patriciaking7892
      @patriciaking7892 5 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yeah, like toxic people and ones that don't want anything in life, but love to complain .

    • @angeliaduenas6870
      @angeliaduenas6870 3 ปีที่แล้ว

      I love your comment. It's very inspiring.

  • @aerodylluk2543
    @aerodylluk2543 3 ปีที่แล้ว +18

    Imagine doing this with yourself. Have jars that you fill with stones depending on whether you do a good or a bad thing. So when you do a good habit, put a stone in the good jar and when you do a bad thing put a stone in the bad jar. You could set the criteria for what counts as good or bad and you could use the levels of stones in each jar to see how you are trending overall in your habits. You could even place these in a visible place in your home so others could see them.

  • @caroflower
    @caroflower 3 ปีที่แล้ว

    What motivated me to clean the kitty litter box every morning rather than less often - it's so much simpler and faster to just do a few scoops in the mornings. It's just not as bad and less total time spent dealing with it at one time. Also nice to feel my cat always has a clean litter box on a daily basis. As for tidying/cleaning up, just went through a huge de-cluttering/minimalism binge. 3 car loads to donate. Life is so much easier now. So that's my top tip - if you want to make your daily cleaning/tidying easier, get into de-cluttering, minimalism, and simplifying your life.