Notes: -Science shows that warning has little influence on behavior; it's effective but limited. -People tend to change their beliefs towards a more desirable option (in all ages) -Kids, teenagers, and elderly people are less likely to learn from warnings Three principles that drive the behavior and mind 1-Social incentive: we are motivated through the positive actions of others. 2-Immediate reward: reward your good behavior. 3-Progress monitoring: We are motivated by seeing progress. -Highlight the process, not the decline -Giving people a sense of control is a motivator
I used to hate doing dishes. I always did them by myself growing up because my 2 siblings one older one younger would start a fight with me and I would fall into their trap by telling them to leave and I would do it by myself which is what they ultimately wanted. Somehow I would be blamed for causing the fights. So if they were gone I couldn't be blamed. Fast forward after marriage having to to dishes myself I began to leave them, as my mother did. But one day it changed. I was making a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil I was going to leave the kitchen and watch tv. But I would not know when the water was boiling. So I washed the dishes while waiting. It took about the same time to finish the dishes as it took to heat the water and brew the tea. I realized the chore was not as bad as it seemed and I got my reward of a hot cup of tea I enjoyed more knowing I had all ready done the chore I dreaded. I got into doing this everyday. Now I dont have to have the tea any more to do the dishes I enjoy doing them knowing how short a time it takes and I do them after every meal. I can enjoy going into the kitchen more because it is neat and clean. I must have had a lot of negative things associated with dishwashing. Thanks to cup of tea, no more.
Edie Pasquini I really liked that! So simple but powerful. I had the idea to time how long it actually took to do chores around dread. I need to pick this up! Thankyou .
@Kathy Myers Good for you! I didn't realize until I wrote that, the reason I had such a negative feeling about doing dishes. I thought it was because I had all ready done so much a as kid not realizing the fights and manipulations of my siblings had caused such negative feelings. My mom was not a good house keeper so I couldn't have friends over so I would have to clean the house too then I could have friends and it made her look better. When I was 21 I asked if my future husband could come stay for the weekend. He was visiting from RI University. No was the answer when I asked why, the answer from her was I never did anything around the house. This was my reward for cleaning the house every week so my sister could bring her boyfriend home from college for 4 lousy years. Needless to say I hate housework. So now I know the reason for that! I love it when my home is all cleaned and pretty the problem is my family does not care the time and effort that goes into making it nice, this is basically the same reaction all those years ago from my mother. She then, and my family now have someone to pick up and make a nice place for them but offer no positive feedback to me and consequently I feel used. That is negative. I don't know how to motivate myself to continue other than It pleases me to live in an orderly environment. I guess if I wait for someone to give me accolades that day will never happen so it is up to me to enjoy it the best I can.
This is so lovely, as simple as it is. Dishes really aren't fun to clean regardless! Studying too..... Though it really is incredible how subtle changes of habit can lead us to things we do becoming so much simpler in our minds! thanks for the tea cup story as I'd love to find something for my own situation too!
I know why social media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time we post something (‘likes’ notification) which we don’t easily get in a real social interaction. That’s why some people look superior in social media but lack of confidence in their real life. By listening to this talk, I definitely agree that we need to focus more on the progress of what we/other people do, instead of the results. Because we cannot please people to give us the reward, so we have to value our progressing work as the reward.
Rizal Malawi I have had a trouble with my learning at college. I am not sure what i will gain after finishing it. Will i have a good job? Will i earn enough money for myself? for taking care of my old parents? for taking care of my younger sister who is 10 years younger than me? For my future wife and kids? Instead of feeling fear, i have played game to get away from it. Until a day i reallize that i have become really addicted. I can't be able to study focusingly. My learning progess is getting worse and worse. Now i know that i have to come back to live my life helpfully. The immediately reward i get from playing game isn't what i should be into it.
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated. 1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same. 2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue. 3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
I play a little mind game that I learned from “Your Success Method by Michael Kennedy” …so whenever I feel that I’m gonna procrastinate on a task or feeling that my motivation is off, I start playing this “game” in my mind that reframes the whole task and makes it a whole lot easier for me to work on the task instead of letting my mind say “I’ll do it later”, its not the same as visualisations which is less powerful IMO
@@aishabah9401 I read recently that “perfectionists procrastinate”. If you always aim for 100%, maybe aim slightly lower and you may find it easier to get the task done. 🤷🏻♀️
I'm in university and I keep telling myself "if I procrastinate, I won't get good grades, I might fail, and I won't get an internship, I won't get a good job". I've been saying things like that since I was 10 or 11. And I still procrastinate a lot. This video changed my perspective. I should instead be telling myself "I WILL get good grades, I just need to procrastinate less. An internship and good job is ahead of me, if I make the choice of not succumbing to temporary pleasures and focus instead."
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie
it's deeper. When you learn something in steps it is effective to stop for second or two after each successful step. brain literally needs moment to save new progress or it looseses it in continuous steps skipping it and overloading.
Notes: Most used strategy: Threats and Warnings. ---> Scare ourselves and others to change behaviors. Science shows that on average: warnings have very limited impact on behavior. Why? The common response on animals when threatened, is either freezing or fleeing NOT fighting, and this is the same for human beings. When something scares us, we tend to shut down and get rid of negative feelings like using rationalizations. This can cause a boomerang effect which means that we become more resilient with the behavior we want to change. People tend to change their beliefs to the most popular opinion ( positive information more likely). Results show that in all age groups take in information that you want to hear rather than information that they didn't want to hear. Kids/Teenagers/ Elderly: Did not respond to bad news. The three principles to change behavior: 1. Social incentives ( what people think about you, what other people are doing, and what we can do to do better than others). 2. Immediate reward ( can be as simple as praise) ( reward yourself or others now, in order to reach a desirable alternative goal in the future, one that the misbehavior can lead to a loss of the desired future goal. Example, if you stop smoking now, you can run 10 km more and win that race) 3. Progress monitoring: We need to put up a measurement tool that allows us to progress ourselves, whether it was for us or other people. When we see the progress and the positive outcome of our behaviors, it will likely make us want to stick with what we are doing.
Dear Tania Abi Azar, i would like to thank you. Because your resume is really useful for me (obviously for answering my final semester exam) . Your resume trulyyyy safe my life. God Bless You!
How to motivate yourself to change your behaviour: 1. Social incentives (aka Social proof) 2. Immediate rewards (aka Instant gratification) 3. Progress monitoring (aka Show them the benefits)
Indeed, both straightforward Operant Conditioning techniques and for what its worth, works with imagination too even at abstract musings and could potentially therefore be useful in lucid dream states too ;-) If one then approached that path with keen intensity to planning ans support mechanisms such as feedbacks then we could accomplish virtually anything we wanted - it's the management of negative emotions and also through operant conditioning which should put the icing on that cake. Classic postive feedback issues...
This lady is amazing and i hope all of you that are on here commenting i wish you all just positive love your way sometimes we just need a little kinder to ourselves
Sometimes the difference between punishment and encouragement is only semantics. “Pick up your toys and you’ll get to have a have a popsicle “ vs. “If you don’t pick up your toys you won’t be allowed to have a popsicle.” I tease my kids and tell them if they don’t behave I will give them enCouRaGemeNt (said in a creepy way). Ha ha.
I always found telling them to do the opposite of what you want them to do works best. But I think that might have something to do with my family genetics.
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated. 1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same. 2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue. 3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
@@barbiegirl5657 good breakdown. I put a mirror up in my room a while ago and I think it accidentally transformed my motivation to work out. because now when I do pushups and see the difference in the mirror I think....hmm good stuff......imma do a few more! progress monitoring and an immediate reward all in one!
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated. 1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same. 2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue. 3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
I quit smoking because of the idea that i was wasting my time and not my health. 1 cig = 5 minutes 1pack = 100 minutes 1pack per day over a month = 50 hours It's up to you to decide for what you want to spend this time, plus it tastes and smells awful
I quit 7 years ago when I saw my one year old boy look up at me from the other side of a glass door. I decided right there that this is not the life or environment I want for my child. Both my wife and I quit within weeks after that.
Imagine what you can do if you spent 50hrs per month! Like learn an instrument, coding, meditate, sports. And if you spent it with sport you benefit twice as much!
Stop reacting to others and start responding. Reaction is automatic. Responding is consciously choosing your response. If you don't like your results, change your input, your thoughts, emotions, and expectations. - Marc Reklau
It works! Here in Germany it has become usual for a town to place a speed radar at the town entrance, and a monitor telling people "you are travelling at ... speed" with a "thankyou" and a smile if you comply with the speed limit - or a "please slow down" if traveling too fast. No police, no citation. But it really works, people want to comply if they have that positive feedback. Positive feedback rather than the abstract warning of dire consequences. Just like the nurses with the machine feedback they get regarding cleaning their hands as they enter a patient's room, which the presenter describes. It works with me and one can watch drivers respond to this!
I thank you Tali Sharot for motivating my daughter when thing went really had for her. It was really so bad that she attempted committing murder until you invited Mrs Lyra Holt Dean for your TED show program. Am really so grateful for her finical assistance in my daughters life thank you so much once again.
@Lewis Hamilton OH i figured out Mrs Lyra Holt From a TED show hosted by Tali Sharot. She invited this particular woman and she introduced this fabulous type strategy for making money. It looked like a scam until we took the risk and tired it out and it worked.
As a teacher of students with behavioral problems I reward them all the time. And they behave for the most part, produce results, are motivated and most importantly learn!! I've done it for 19 years and when people tell me I'm good at what I do, I know it's because kids are engaged and motivated to get their rewards, so they participate in classroom work.
I swear by it. Even with my own sons to this day I use it. They're 19 & 17 & my foster son at present is 16 now. They respond well and even compete with each other. It's great for their confidence and self esteem. I haven't quite got to 100% results for the chores yet but I remain hopeful 😃
Gina Gutierrez what are the rewards that you give to them? My best friend is a new teacher and is looking for positive reinforcement ideas! Thank you in advance.
Did you see the News in LA when a teacher gave her class incentive reward for doing well on a project? She offered pizza for lunch for ALL. But she was shut down by the school Principal ! He took all ordered/ delivered pizzas away!! He said its a bad idea because other classrooms don't get any pizza. 😨😱 OMG! He certainly was a demotivating Principal. Negative thinking.
give me an example or solution on how to get motivation to change my behaviour on quitting my masturbation addiction?? can you throw some light on that?
@@DesertlizzyThe, I concur. That is a principal who just does not get "it." S/he obviously needs encouragement to pursue continuing education in the area of psychology of learning, motivation, and solution-focused cognitive-behavioral approaches. My question is who is the boss of this principal? Perhaps this individual too needs to lead by effective example.
Honestly, a good way to get yourself to care faster is to want to be proud of yourself and celebrate what you did despite being difficult in that moment. If you ask "am I proud of myself?" Can really make a difference.
I've been beginning to realize this these past few months and I'm beginning to feel like I can do whatever tf I put my mind to, again you know like I always knew. But the daily struggles in life sometimes eat you up. Bad habbits and addictions which you tend to really adapt to. Gotta remember who you are. Maybe consider the odds of your existence... Only god knows ! People are amazing!! Learn to love others and value their wellbeing as you should your own. I truly believe that the more knowledge that we strive to obtain, the easier it will be to achieve this. Just do what you love to do, as well as what your heart desires!
Ambi Cahira, you are referring to cognitive dissonance. You want your real self to move closer to your ideal self. You can do it. Keep up the good work! A higher level of congruence between your ideal self and real self too further reinforces positively future cognitive processing and behavioral outcomes. Do it.
When something scares us, we tend to shutdown. When we are faced with fear we tend to shutdown in order to eliminate the negative feelings. Highlight the progress not the decline. Rewards positive behavior. Don't focus on negative behaviour. Fear induces inaction.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation: 00:00 🤖 Warnings and threats have limited impact on changing behavior, as inducing fear often leads to defensive responses, rationalizations, or avoidance. 05:07 🛡️ People tend to embrace positive information about their future and disregard negative warnings, regardless of age. 08:07 💼 Using social incentives, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring is more effective in motivating behavior change than relying on fear-based warnings. 12:27 🛡️ Immediate rewards make people more likely to adopt positive behaviors for the long term, establishing habits and lifestyle changes. 13:27 💼 Highlighting progress rather than decline can be a more effective way to get people's attention and motivate positive changes in behavior. Made with HARPA AI 👍 Upvote to improve video surfing
The spiritual guide in me says, always focus on the positive rather than the negative. Us humans are more delicate than we would ever like to admit. Including myself. That said, I am one who has grown up with a lot of fear which I learned as a mechanism for living my life. It has made me miserable and quite sad. I find this video reassuring and uplifting, to remind myself and all of us, to always stay and focus on the positive. 🌸
I watched today teds about game addiction. And there were four points why it appears. 1) escaping from problems 2) social communications 3) challenge 4) and the possibility to see progress Of course immediate rewards are also there. So, I think this video tells real things
Actually when I am sad what I do is that I like to make a song and sing it so I put my emotions in the song and note it down . And than something happens very magical actually I become so happy and proud of myself that I made a really sad song and that day changes into great and proud day from a sad and broken or hurt day . It's all different for each other What is your thing , that you do and that motivates you and make you happy. If you don't know than observe your self your emotion how it changes and you will find a key that you never knew was there. Thank you for those spent their time reading it. Now go and remember that you are the key and you can only motivate your self the best. Go go achieve it Have a nice day😁🙂 I believe in you.And even if it's your bad days going on dont worry every time passes every emotion goes with the time and new one comes. Again thank you for your time madam/sir
Great talk! Also explains why all the little games on mobile phones are so terribly addictive: immediate reward (3 stars), gradual increase of challenge, possibility to do a level over and see immediate improvement, compare with results of others etc. Especially for kids, real life has a hard time competing with that, it's just "too much effort and too little / too distant reward".
Summary: Threats and scare-tactics fail to incline people to change their choices -rather, they induce a fight/flight response and a bias to incorporate information that reinforces existing behaviour. Social incentives/highlighting a comparison to others' actions, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring with a sense of control, fare better.
I feel like other people have always had it so much easier than me. I've always struggled with this so much. It's so hard to motivate myself. I've been watching videos like this thought and it's really helped me. I don't even like TED talks but this helped me today. I needed to hear it
"Instead of using warnings about bad things that can happen in the future (like disease), it uses 3 principles that we know really drive you rmind and your behaviour. 1. Social Incentive We're social people: we want to know what other people are doing, we want to do the same and we want to do it better. (...) Highlighting what other people are doing is a really strong incentive. 2. Immediate Rewards We value immediate rewards, rewards that we can get now more than rewards that we can get in the future. You're choosing something that's sure now, rather than something that's unsure in the future. Immediate rewards give us a way to bridge the temporal gap between doing an action now that is good for us in the future, until that action becomes a habit. 3. Progress monitoring The brain has efficient coding of positive information about the future, but is worse at processing negative information. This means that you'll want to highlight the progress people make, not the decline. (E.g. Kid smoking: If you stop smoking, you'll be better at sports.) These 3 points can help gain a sense of control over an action which is very important for people trying to change their behaviour. We do however still need to communicate risks, and there isn't a 1-solution-fits-all. However, if we want to motivate change, we'll want to change our approach because fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gain induces action."
For sure, we cannot move forward if we don't think "forward". If we are stuck in negativity thinking...as stuck in the past, we cannot move forward. Positive strokes folks
Here is what the video says for those of you haven't got time to watch: People are more likely to take action NOT when being threatened BUT when these 3 principles are in place: 1. Social incentives: people care about others' opinions and how they are doing in relation to their peers. We want to do the same as them and do it better. 2. Immediate reward: we all want instant gratification. So, for example, you can say to yourself every time I go to the gym I will then have a piece of dark chocolate. So you link exercise with a reward and you do it more often and in the end, it becomes a habit. 3. Progress monitoring: Highlight the progress and not the negative side. So if you are trying to quit smoking instead of focusing on bad health start focusing on the millions of benefits that people who don't smoke have! people want to hear positives, not negatives.
I know it's been six years since this video was posted and I'm amazed at how up to date this information is! Lately, I have been using positive remarks, giving out short term and long term rewards to my nieces. They love it! They are six and eight years old, whenever they are doing something safe or dangerous I always say 'Hey! let's try something more fun! Later/tomorrow frozen yoghurt and gummy bears afterwards' I love being with them, with my sister though they are a bit different because she spoils them and gives them everything they want at the very moment just to keep them to stay still or stay quiet. I believe that we can learn a lot from children and from mid-twenties adults. Great content!
This is wonderful and may also apply to anxiety I have. I find myself not doing things I want to do, but I also have a fear I won't have enough time to do them. I feel overwhelmed. If I look at what I would gain from doing these things (pleasure, accomplishment, etc) instead of thinking I am running out of time, I could be more motivated by the gain than the fear.
The faster you try to the slower you become. The more you loose sight of now, the more you drift beyond here and now. Building a plan a daily structure and creating habit of fulfilling list of goals with one most important in focus to finish that day to feel pleased helps a lot. it grounds you in the task at hand and limits distractions. But nothing like that will fix bad sleep habits, bad diet without enough balanced proteins and healthy animal fats, meat,fish, eggs dairy or chaos of thoughts left loose instead of organising them f.e. on paper especially before sleep (nsdr helps a lot).
God bless you Tali. I've used this ever since watching it for the first time &, after decades of trying, I've established a daily practice of breath work, visualization, meditation & exercise... I'm grateful for your work & this talk!!!
thanks for this video. I was motivated so much. I was very upset about my future, like I don't know where to go, what am I going to do to improve myself. in fact, I tried to quit smoking and do exercises so many times but I failed. after watching this video, I realized that I am doing the wrong way, trying to do something without progress monitoring and immediate rewards. I will get myself up and try again, Thomas Edison said: 'Our greatest weakness lies on giving up. The most certain way to success is to try just one more time.' Thanks for motivating me. I love this video.
16:13 "Fear ... the fear of losing your health, the fear of losing money (etc) ... induces inaction. While the thrill of a gain induces action. And so, to change behavior in ourselves and others, we may want to try these positive strategies rather than threats which really capitalize on the human tendency to seek progress."
"The fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gains induces action. If we want motivate change or progress we might want to think about the above on how we want to do it". No solution fits all, but this gave a good insight as to deciding the best strategy when dealing with individuals. It's also true that people like to be in control therefore social insentives, motivators and progress monitoring are great tools to use to give them the control while motivating change and progress.
My greatest motivator is Me . I try to surround myseff with positive peoples to include family and friends. .I read years ago to surround my self with people that enjoy challenges and growth. Of course negative people are everywhere. I just keep moving and following my dreams.
How do you get through to people? • Highlight the progress (not the decline) Ex. If you quit smoking, you will be better at basket ball. • Highlight what others are doing (indirect motivation/ social incentives) Ex. Sam is very wise and successful! She has worked very hard to be where she is, and I know that you will do the same. • Immediate rewards (focus on the now) I noticed you didn’t smoke today. Let me buy you lunch! I’m proud of you. Notes: x what do all people want? opportunity for progress and a sense of control. x fear and warning produces inaction because people tend to avoid “negative” information (what makes them feel bad) x people take in information they desire to hear far better
What motivated me to clean the kitty litter box every morning rather than less often - it's so much simpler and faster to just do a few scoops in the mornings. It's just not as bad and less total time spent dealing with it at one time. Also nice to feel my cat always has a clean litter box on a daily basis. As for tidying/cleaning up, just went through a huge de-cluttering/minimalism binge. 3 car loads to donate. Life is so much easier now. So that's my top tip - if you want to make your daily cleaning/tidying easier, get into de-cluttering, minimalism, and simplifying your life.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.” ― Dale Carnegie
Some people are naturally good at motivating themselves, while others might need a push from someone else. I have ADHD and I work best when I'm forced to lol. So many interesting things in this world keep distracting me
Really great. My son is on the spectrum and the constant treats that he’ll lose computer time was like pushing a boulder up a hill. Instead I just let him know what the expectation for the day is, you get your school work done you can have computer time. The sooner he’s done the more time he gets. Home schooling has never been easier.
One of the best Ted Talks I have watched. I always wondered why they say fear is met with flight or fight, but don't mention freeze. I have had anxiety issues on and off most of my life and I know that freezing is the way I react to it almost always. Tali Sharot makes a lot of sense explaining why fear isn't a good motivation for changing anyone.
To be motivated is to be reminded why you are doing things. There may be times of no progress, then take a break and dont give up. Only you can motivate yourself!
Highlight the progress, not the decline. I find that when I give compliments, people respond to me in a satisfying fashion, which is similar to highlighting their progress in the present. And I've been giving sincere compliment's for 20+ years.
I've been following her for a few months and I think she's amazing, I love her colorful artwork and I've even buy her book, she has a lot of incredible examples and techniques to try, she's a big inspiration for a lot of artists, including myself!
Yes people must absolutely be recognised and rewarded for the progress they make so they feel valued and motivated to contribute to a cause they can believe is good. What I find really interesting is that many people seem to value more time off work more than a pay rise. People are looking for time to recover, relax and enjoy life more, and when people are given this opportunity they often perform better at work, this is why no work Wednesday can be a good idea. Thank you for this insightful video :)
Notice and appreciate what you want more of - in yourself and others. It will grow. Ignore what you can of what you'd like to extinguish, it will diminish.
I am just a small voice but I just want to say thank you to Forwago. This program helped me to build self-confidence and taught me how to believe in myself. More people should find out about it. Thank you, Forwago!
Very impressive and motivating! I love how you go in-depth by breaking the information down into easy understanding! My ADD brain needed this! Thank you, keep up the good work and don't allow the negatives or critics to hinder your growth and mindset!
Emotional Intelligence is one of these elements of our personality we can work on and develop it. I have been observing my clients as they were working on their EQ and I loved their results. Emotional Intelligence is also a way to understand ourselves better and others, too.
I prefer more rational inteligence. Training mind to not get emotional and don't care about emotional, irrational people. Helps even better. Once it all was simply called controlling oneself and observing world. No big intelligence in that.
I watched the entire video. It looks interesting. Most important things I learnt from this video are: If we want to motivate people, we have to give them a some kind of power, Many people try motivate people negatively, telling them about the wrong side, for example, the fear of loosing money leads to inaction; the best way to motivate people or ourselve is employing progressing, for example, instead of telling someone ‘Stop smoking, otherwise you will suffer from cancer therefore you will die’, we can tell him ‘ You know, if you stop smoking, you will improve well in sport’; important things to keep in mind in order to motivate ourselve or people: Social Incentive,immediate rewards, and progress monitoring.
Positive thoughts create positive actions so thank you for highlighting that crucial fact! Changing you verbiage and mindset is the start of achieving better outcomes and living full out.
Imagine doing this with yourself. Have jars that you fill with stones depending on whether you do a good or a bad thing. So when you do a good habit, put a stone in the good jar and when you do a bad thing put a stone in the bad jar. You could set the criteria for what counts as good or bad and you could use the levels of stones in each jar to see how you are trending overall in your habits. You could even place these in a visible place in your home so others could see them.
I used to hate my fears and try to avoid them. But then, to overcome them i push myself to do what is scared me again and again. It's changed my behaviour to the amazing life where there is no place for fears and anger.
I've struggled with procrastination all my life. One thing I've done recently is to start compartmentalising each part of my day. i.e. I need to be doing x at 7pm, so I need to do this now to free up that block of the day. Especially at night this helps, because often I would stay up till 3am (often later) just browsing online and doing nothing important. Once I started viewing sleep as another part of one huge (as opposed to viewing each day as separate to each other, meaning I could stay up as long as I liked because it's the end of the day and I can put off sleep for a little bit) that's when everything started to click into place, and I could actually get on with everyday tasks like normal people do. It's stopped me feeling like I'm fighting through the day to get everything done, and feels more like I'm in control of my life. Sure, there are days where I struggle to do this, especially if I've broken this new daytime routine by going on vacation, or travelling, but I figure this is because I've had a lifetime routine of no routine, and it'll be a long time before this new routine becomes second nature to me, it may take years even, but at least I know I'm on the right path to sorting out this grave issue of mine.
Eddie Spencer-Small perhaps you should review Briggs Meyer 16 personalities in which 2% only are INFJ.. Rare & Very Typical Symptom or Behavior. Let me know what you think. Please.
@@speedytempo3819 It's getting started that's the hardest thing, but once you get into a rhythm it's much easier to continue with. Also if you can commit to just 5 minutes of whatever task you're putting off (as opposed to an hour), it's more manageable. Good luck. Procrastination is a horrible affliction.
@@craigwallacewilliams5534 Apparently I'm an INFP-T, and I've looked at the characteristics and they hit home: creative, private, takes things personally. It's like I'm reading a description of me! "The true friends of people with the Mediator personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life" That is me.
I think self discipline is way important. you just have to do it...with motivation or without, just because you took a decision and you must stick to it.
i don't believe self-discipline is that simple. Motivation is like the engine that keeps us running. It's the force that drives us to produce desired results. It's our inertia. Without motivation it's easy for some of us to chose the less-productive or the instantly gratifying option-- especially when theres little to no consequences. When you grasp the concept of self-motivation , the discipline and commitment just comes naturally. From a book i've learned as humans, our biggest motivator is freedom of control. We want to feel in control of our environment and our lives and not feel forced. By giving ourself choices in our daily chores/tasks/commitments, we earn back that sense of control thus making us more motivated to follow through (because it feels like our own decision and not anyone else's). For instance, we know when we go into work we have an unruly list of tasks to complete by the end of the day; by simply asking ourselves "what would i like to complete first", "what time will i take my break?" or just simply giving yourself the option to complete what task and when, will gratify us with a sense of control we innately desire. From a person who lacked self-discipline for a long time, i had to re-teach myself how to motivate and learn long-term gratification is better than instantaneous. You sound like a pretty disciplined person and like you already have your big motivator yourself (self-commitment). For people like me, that's not a big motivator; i'm pretty okay with falling through on tasks because i don't care too much. If you're interested in the book it's called "Smarter, Faster, Better: The Transformative Power of Real Productivity". It's a great read and dives into the neurological science behind motivation as well as psychological.
This is what we need just right about now. With the news about the pandemic and global warming. We are being fed with negative feedbacks about the disease and the fires and the ice. I am not saying that the earth is flat and the moonwalk is fake. It's just that having positive feedbacks should also be heard and acknowledged because as the speaker said, it is what makes the people act and action is what we need right now. Give love. Share love. You are loved.
I know this to be correct from my own reactions to speed limit sensor cameras on the road. When I know I am approaching the type that highlights your speed on it’s digital display board and says ‘Thank You’ in green writing, when you are at or below the speed limit, I like to see that ‘Thank You’ and make doubly sure to keep my speed in check. ... But the signs that just flash up and only say, ‘SLOW DOWN’ in red writing, do not have the same affect on me. As we are all not perfect, occasionally these negative ones will show up on your journey and literally shout at you to SLOW DOWN. Unfortunately I must say the only response I get is to be irritated by them if I have unintentionally set one off. In fact I have even noticed that some roads that have this type of speed deterrent, come on no matter your speed just to reinforce the speed limit on that road, and they definitely have a negative affect in me. Maybe the Highway Agency should consider this aspect of human psychology, when it comes to trying to make the roads safe?
Wow, a TED talk that actually delivers! I've been watching a bunch of these lately, and most seem so light and fluffy, but this one has good info from start to finish.
Feeling so relaxed after hearing this.....I always try to fit in good habits within a good and healthy daily routine.....but i can't be consistent....but swear from now on I'm gonna make it....
Giving people a sense of control is a really important motivator. Motivation is directly connected to the emotional modality of our dopamine secretion, which is directly connected to pleasure, pain lymphatic secretion, equaling instant movement.
In order to change one's behaviour its not fear which changes them.. but the their Values of life and their inner intention to change.. not something that was inserted into them from outside like fear. When a person changes their values of life and care more about good things and change their intentions to live a good life.. their behaviour will automatically change, their will power increases and many more but it takes 90-180 days to rewire the brain and thus change their lives.
the way she explained this, basically positive reinforcement, actually sounds doable. i think i'm going to do just that, with the progress reports and all.
I need everyone to wish me luck. I’ve got a meeting at the bank in a few minutes, and if all goes well, I will finally be debt free. I’ m so excited, I can barely get my ski mask on.😆😆😎😄
I knew several girls in my grade 3 and 4 home room class who were already addicted to gold stars. They probably went on to have far more success in life than I've had (this predilection can carry you all the way through post-graduate studies), but I bet I had more _actual_ fun. Part of my attitude was "who are you to tell me what's worth a gold star?" Social skepticism has good uses, too, but it's not a life program to wind up as the angel on top the xmas tree. Each to their own.
For me it has always been about what my gain is as opposed to the gold star. I worked for companies that gave out gold stars. I told them I work for money, so you need to monetize it. They began giving out cash that was less than you earn in two hours for the equivalent of ten hours of extra effort. People were jumping through hoops while I was circulating my resume. Focusing on doing my job without needing to decipher psychological manipulation is better for me.
Laszlo Bock explains this lucidly in _Work Rules: Insights from Inside Google_ (2015), which is why Google _does_ provide high rates of marginal compensation for high achievers (rather than fatuous brownie points). Because if you don't do this, your star performers constantly reprice themselves on the open market. Read the book. There are at least a few pages every chapter that outperform. Note also that Jordan Peterson harps on endlessly about the Pareto distribution, for precisely this reason. (If you _really_ believe in superior performance, you price a book at its best two pages, so don't be laughing at HR unless you're able to make this counterintuitive conceptual leap yourself.)
Bio - interesting. Teachers are rewarded with praise about their worthiness when they do well. Or a good inspection result. There are few career rings on the teaching ladder - head of year, deputy, head etc. Often men occupy these senior or management polity despite there being a dearth of male teachers. Men generally have a much more realistic, and in my view healthy, expectation of what reward should mean. More money. Not always and not for everything. Women are still often stuck in the 19th century ethos that teaching is a calling. Schools especially primaries, infantilise their staff. You cannot leave the school during a free period, you cannot make a private phone call, you are required to do playground duty and eat with the children. Despite being a highly trained professional. I had friends tell me I was doing a 'worthy ' job when I taught. It felt so utterly patronising. Teachers need to be brought into the 21st century - proper wages and grown up facilities like teachers' canteens, private phones, showers and creches, leave to go outside the school in free periods, no extra duties which can be performed by auxiliary staff. Reward should be financial just as in every other profession, not the specious equivalents of 'gold stars'.
All of these 2020 comments taught me that we are all coming here for self help. Proud of you all
i love your positivity
@@passerby4278 8iiiiiiiiFF(Da ((((D(D(D((D(D(Đ(D(((((((((D(((D(D(D(DDDĐ(D(DD(D(DDDDDĐ(Da DDD(D(DD((DDD
@@passerby4278 that's all we can offer each other that has value, thank you!
It's up to 2300 comments now.🙂
Aw im proud of you too 💖
i even had to motivate myself to watch this
😂😂😂. It's okay it happens someone else might have to motivate himself or herself to finish this video in a single time
LITERALLY SAME LMAO. Why am I like this
Literally omg
Yea cuz my friend told me motivation is overrated.
Omg 😂
1. Social incentives
2. Immediate reward
3. Progress monitoring
thank you
@@izzymartin8518 You're welcome! 😊
Army💜
@@mikachan2631 I'm ARMY too! 🥰
Armyyy😁😘
Notes:
-Science shows that warning has little influence on behavior; it's effective but limited.
-People tend to change their beliefs towards a more desirable option (in all ages)
-Kids, teenagers, and elderly people are less likely to learn from warnings
Three principles that drive the behavior and mind
1-Social incentive: we are motivated through the positive actions of others.
2-Immediate reward: reward your good behavior.
3-Progress monitoring: We are motivated by seeing progress.
-Highlight the process, not the decline
-Giving people a sense of control is a motivator
Push and pull
👏👏👏
thanks for this brother youve helped me more that you can imagine i can write my report now
Appreciate this a lot
@@gauravb5740 hi. could I help to write a report? This has bing my favourite topic since tow years ago
I used to hate doing dishes. I always did them by myself growing up because my 2 siblings one older one younger would start a fight with me and I would fall into their trap by telling them to leave and I would do it by myself which is what they ultimately wanted. Somehow I would be blamed for causing the fights. So if they were gone I couldn't be blamed.
Fast forward after marriage having to to dishes myself I began to leave them, as my mother did. But one day it changed. I was making a pot of tea. While waiting for the water to boil I was going to leave the kitchen and watch tv. But I would not know when the water was boiling. So I washed the dishes while waiting. It took about the same time to finish the dishes as it took to heat the water and brew the tea. I realized the chore was not as bad as it seemed and I got my reward of a hot cup of tea I enjoyed more knowing I had all ready done the chore I dreaded. I got into doing this everyday. Now
I dont have to have the tea any more to do the dishes I enjoy doing them knowing how short a time it takes and I do them after every meal. I can enjoy going into the kitchen more because it is neat and clean. I must have had a lot of negative things associated with dishwashing. Thanks to cup of tea, no more.
Edie Pasquini I really liked that! So simple but powerful. I had the idea to time how long it actually took to do chores around dread. I need to pick this up! Thankyou .
@Kathy Myers Good for you! I didn't realize until I wrote that, the reason I had such a negative feeling about doing dishes. I thought it was because I had all ready done so much a as kid not realizing the fights and manipulations of my siblings had caused such negative feelings. My mom was not a good house keeper so I couldn't have friends over so I would have to clean the house too then I could have friends and it made her look better. When I was 21 I asked if my future husband could come stay for the weekend. He was visiting from RI University. No was the answer when I asked why, the answer from her was I never did anything around the house. This was my reward for cleaning the house every week so my sister could bring her boyfriend home from college for 4 lousy years. Needless to say I hate housework. So now I know the reason for that! I
love it when my home is all cleaned and pretty the problem is my family does not care the time and effort that goes into making it nice, this is basically the same reaction all those years ago from my mother. She then, and my family now have someone to pick up and make a nice place for them but offer no positive feedback to me and consequently I feel used. That is negative. I don't know how to motivate myself to continue other than It pleases me to live in an orderly environment. I guess if I wait for someone to give me accolades that day will never happen so it is up to me to enjoy it the best I can.
This is so lovely, as simple as it is. Dishes really aren't fun to clean regardless! Studying too..... Though it really is incredible how subtle changes of habit can lead us to things we do becoming so much simpler in our minds! thanks for the tea cup story as I'd love to find something for my own situation too!
That's dope.
@@kathymyers7279 Indeed. A simple and effortless change of perspective can sometimes work wonders.
My comment will probably get lost but whoever reads this.. You got this! Whatever you are going through will get better hang in there ️
Thank you for your post. I have been "working" on my doctoral degree since 2015, it is now 2024...I need a change in my behavior to get it done.
YOUR COMMENT WASNT LOST BRO, THANK YOU FOR THE ENCOURAGEMENT I WISH THE SAME TO YOU
Your kind comment still hasn't gotten lost 😙 Thank you much. I hope all is well in your world 🤗
❤
thank you so muchhhh:)
I know why social media is very addictive for us. Because it gives us the immediate reward by the time we post something (‘likes’ notification) which we don’t easily get in a real social interaction. That’s why some people look superior in social media but lack of confidence in their real life. By listening to this talk, I definitely agree that we need to focus more on the progress of what we/other people do, instead of the results. Because we cannot please people to give us the reward, so we have to value our progressing work as the reward.
Rizal Malawi yea reward cost a lot of money
Rizal Malawi Was
Rizal Malawi I have had a trouble with my learning at college. I am not sure what i will gain after finishing it. Will i have a good job? Will i earn enough money for myself? for taking care of my old parents? for taking care of my younger sister who is 10 years younger than me? For my future wife and kids? Instead of feeling fear, i have played game to get away from it. Until a day i reallize that i have become really addicted. I can't be able to study focusingly. My learning progess is getting worse and worse. Now i know that i have to come back to live my life helpfully. The immediately reward i get from playing game isn't what i should be into it.
Phúc Thiên Hà tiếng anh tốt thế còn gì!:d
Yes Sir. You are in control of your words, the series you watch on TV, and the people you spend your time with. :)
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
Thank you for summerize this for me
Naresh Gupta no problem! 🙂
Khanda Hussein great summary!
Mike Davis thank you
@@kaycali4912 Thank you your the best.
I play a little mind game that I learned from “Your Success Method by Michael Kennedy” …so whenever I feel that I’m gonna procrastinate on a task or feeling that my motivation is off, I start playing this “game” in my mind that reframes the whole task and makes it a whole lot easier for me to work on the task instead of letting my mind say “I’ll do it later”, its not the same as visualisations which is less powerful IMO
tell us more about that please
Yea can you please tell us what this “game” is
@@itstek ah I get it I’m gonna try it because recently procrastination has gotten the best of me and it’s not great😬
@@aishabah9401 I read recently that “perfectionists procrastinate”. If you always aim for 100%, maybe aim slightly lower and you may find it easier to get the task done. 🤷🏻♀️
You should also try reading 5secondrule by mel robins
I'm in university and I keep telling myself "if I procrastinate, I won't get good grades, I might fail, and I won't get an internship, I won't get a good job". I've been saying things like that since I was 10 or 11. And I still procrastinate a lot.
This video changed my perspective. I should instead be telling myself "I WILL get good grades, I just need to procrastinate less. An internship and good job is ahead of me, if I make the choice of not succumbing to temporary pleasures and focus instead."
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
― Dale Carnegie
Epic quote.
Truer words never spoke.
P
People can be logical, if they're raised right and have logical teachers
this is literally my favourite quote of all time
13:42 “Highlight the progress. Not the decline.” Scientifically proven fact. How many of us focus on the negative? Thx for the life lesson ❤️
it's deeper. When you learn something in steps it is effective to stop for second or two after each successful step. brain literally needs moment to save new progress or it looseses it in continuous steps skipping it and overloading.
Notes:
Most used strategy: Threats and Warnings. ---> Scare ourselves and others to change behaviors.
Science shows that on average: warnings have very limited impact on behavior. Why? The common response on animals when threatened, is either freezing or fleeing NOT fighting, and this is the same for human beings.
When something scares us, we tend to shut down and get rid of negative feelings like using rationalizations. This can cause a boomerang effect which means that we become more resilient with the behavior we want to change.
People tend to change their beliefs to the most popular opinion ( positive information more likely).
Results show that in all age groups take in information that you want to hear rather than information that they didn't want to hear.
Kids/Teenagers/ Elderly: Did not respond to bad news.
The three principles to change behavior:
1. Social incentives ( what people think about you, what other people are doing, and what we can do to do better than others).
2. Immediate reward ( can be as simple as praise) ( reward yourself or others now, in order to reach a desirable alternative goal in the future, one that the misbehavior can lead to a loss of the desired future goal. Example, if you stop smoking now, you can run 10 km more and win that race)
3. Progress monitoring: We need to put up a measurement tool that allows us to progress ourselves, whether it was for us or other people. When we see the progress and the positive outcome of our behaviors, it will likely make us want to stick with what we are doing.
Thank you
Thanks 🙏
Thx
i couldn' t finish watching this it was too sloooooow and repetitive... the notes were helpful thank you
Dear Tania Abi Azar, i would like to thank you. Because your resume is really useful for me (obviously for answering my final semester exam) . Your resume trulyyyy safe my life. God Bless You!
How to motivate yourself to change your behaviour:
1. Social incentives (aka Social proof)
2. Immediate rewards (aka Instant gratification)
3. Progress monitoring (aka Show them the benefits)
u r the best
I suppose checking the comment section for a recap is immediate gratification 😬
99999
Thanks!
Indeed, both straightforward Operant Conditioning techniques and for what its worth, works with imagination too even at abstract musings and could potentially therefore be useful in lucid dream states too ;-)
If one then approached that path with keen intensity to planning ans support mechanisms such as feedbacks then we could accomplish virtually anything we wanted - it's the management of negative emotions and also through operant conditioning which should put the icing on that cake. Classic postive feedback issues...
This lady is amazing and i hope all of you that are on here commenting i wish you all just positive love your way sometimes we just need a little kinder to ourselves
That's how I raised my daughter with encouragement instead of punishment, worked out pretty great.
Rassini’s
Sometimes the difference between punishment and encouragement is only semantics. “Pick up your toys and you’ll get to have a have a popsicle “ vs. “If you don’t pick up your toys you won’t be allowed to have a popsicle.”
I tease my kids and tell them if they don’t behave I will give them enCouRaGemeNt (said in a creepy way). Ha ha.
@@sklanguage589 yes! You're so right!
I always found telling them to do the opposite of what you want them to do works best. But I think that might have something to do with my family genetics.
By the way I completely agree with you! Good job!
"Fear induces inactoin while the thril of a gain induces action" well said!
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
@@barbiegirl5657 good breakdown. I put a mirror up in my room a while ago and I think it accidentally transformed my motivation to work out. because now when I do pushups and see the difference in the mirror I think....hmm good stuff......imma do a few more! progress monitoring and an immediate reward all in one!
Anyone hear in November 2024📍
Me
🙋🏼♂️
Yeah I heard.
Me!
me!! :)
If people knew this, raising children, teaching students, motivating coworkers, then we'd have a better world.
I had to watch this 2-3 times to really grasp what she was saying. She is not saying HOW TO motivate ourself rather HOW WE get motivated.
1. Social incentive- we are motivated through the positive actions of others. Ex. If we see our friend post a picture of themself at the gym then we want to do the same.
2. Progress monitoring- We are motivated by seeing progress. Ex. If we start working out too and we see progress by weighing ourself then that helps motivate us to continue.
3. Immediate Reward- reward your good behavior. Ex. If i workout this whole week then I will treat myself over the weekend. Maybe some pizza or ice cream 😉
I quit smoking because of the idea that i was wasting my time and not my health.
1 cig = 5 minutes
1pack = 100 minutes
1pack per day over a month = 50 hours
It's up to you to decide for what you want to spend this time, plus it tastes and smells awful
Good for you dude
I quit 7 years ago when I saw my one year old boy look up at me from the other side of a glass door. I decided right there that this is not the life or environment I want for my child. Both my wife and I quit within weeks after that.
That's good calculation though. You might have got a lot of time to do whatever is necessary to be done. 👍👍
Imagine what you can do if you spent 50hrs per month! Like learn an instrument, coding, meditate, sports. And if you spent it with sport you benefit twice as much!
👊
Less than a minute in “ so let’s say your trying to stop yourself from snacking”
*freezes midbite in my ice cream bar*
me with the pack of cookies i bought today 😔
😂😂😂
I had just opened up a pack of m&ms when she said that lmao
HAHAHA BEST COMMENT
🤣
Stop reacting to others and start responding. Reaction is automatic. Responding is consciously choosing your response. If you don't like your results, change your input, your thoughts, emotions, and expectations. - Marc Reklau
Love it. Like to copy but can't
It works!
Here in Germany it has become usual for a town to place a speed radar at the town entrance, and a monitor telling people "you are travelling at ... speed" with a "thankyou" and a smile if you comply with the speed limit - or a "please slow down" if traveling too fast. No police, no citation. But it really works, people want to comply if they have that positive feedback. Positive feedback rather than the abstract warning of dire consequences.
Just like the nurses with the machine feedback they get regarding cleaning their hands as they enter a patient's room, which the presenter describes.
It works with me and one can watch drivers respond to this!
Some places use that here also. Texas, USA.
I thank you Tali Sharot for motivating my daughter when thing went really had for her.
It was really so bad that she attempted committing murder until you invited Mrs Lyra Holt Dean for your TED show program.
Am really so grateful for her finical assistance in my daughters life thank you so much once again.
@Lewis Hamilton OH i figured out Mrs Lyra Holt From a TED show hosted by Tali Sharot.
She invited this particular woman and she introduced this fabulous type strategy for making money.
It looked like a scam until we took the risk and tired it out and it worked.
@Lewis Hamilton Honestly is not something we can talk about on the comment section i can give you her direct so you can contact her.
@Lewis HamiltonKindly contact@lyraholtdean. com that her direct mail feel free talking her and talk me later SMILES.
Sad when marketing bots try to scam people on legitimate youtube videos :(
As a teacher of students with behavioral problems I reward them all the time. And they behave for the most part, produce results, are motivated and most importantly learn!! I've done it for 19 years and when people tell me I'm good at what I do, I know it's because kids are engaged and motivated to get their rewards, so they participate in classroom work.
I swear by it. Even with my own sons to this day I use it. They're 19 & 17 & my foster son at present is 16 now. They respond well and even compete with each other. It's great for their confidence and self esteem. I haven't quite got to 100% results for the chores yet but I remain hopeful 😃
Gina Gutierrez what are the rewards that you give to them? My best friend is a new teacher and is looking for positive reinforcement ideas! Thank you in advance.
Did you see the News in LA when a teacher gave her class incentive reward for doing well on a project?
She offered pizza for lunch for ALL. But she was shut down by the school Principal ! He took all ordered/ delivered pizzas away!! He said its a bad idea because other classrooms don't get any pizza. 😨😱 OMG! He certainly was a demotivating Principal. Negative thinking.
give me an example or solution on how to get motivation to change my behaviour on quitting my masturbation addiction?? can you throw some light on that?
@@DesertlizzyThe, I concur. That is a principal who just does not get "it." S/he obviously needs encouragement to pursue continuing education in the area of psychology of learning, motivation, and solution-focused cognitive-behavioral approaches. My question is who is the boss of this principal? Perhaps this individual too needs to lead by effective example.
What a speaker, immensely fluent with speech without any pauses or fillers
ikr, she didn't even use "um" during the entire speech
She's on crack.
My comment will probably get lost but whoever reads this.. You got this! Whatever you are going through will get better hang in there ✨❤️
it'll never gonna get lost
👍👍👍👍👍👍👍reere
:)
Thank you
I'm reading your comment in 2023 and it's not lost )
I'm trying to stay motivated to keep watching this.
are you a demon?
lmfao
LOL
Me too but after this sentence I have to admit, I failed.
You can do it. I can do it.We all can do it. LOL
Honestly, a good way to get yourself to care faster is to want to be proud of yourself and celebrate what you did despite being difficult in that moment. If you ask "am I proud of myself?" Can really make a difference.
I've been beginning to realize this these past few months and I'm beginning to feel like I can do whatever tf I put my mind to, again you know like I always knew. But the daily struggles in life sometimes eat you up. Bad habbits and addictions which you tend to really adapt to. Gotta remember who you are. Maybe consider the odds of your existence... Only god knows ! People are amazing!! Learn to love others and value their wellbeing as you should your own. I truly believe that the more knowledge that we strive to obtain, the easier it will be to achieve this. Just do what you love to do, as well as what your heart desires!
Pride is a selfish emotion.
@@scary85 but it's there, nonetheless. Vinegar/sugar?
Too much of which this morning?
@@scary85 so according to you loving and caring oneself is selfish?
Ambi Cahira, you are referring to cognitive dissonance. You want your real self to move closer to your ideal self. You can do it. Keep up the good work! A higher level of congruence between your ideal self and real self too further reinforces positively future cognitive processing and behavioral outcomes. Do it.
2014: "We all know washing your hands is the number 1 way to stop disease"
Oh did we now. . . . . . .
When something scares us, we tend to shutdown.
When we are faced with fear we tend to shutdown in order to eliminate the negative feelings.
Highlight the progress not the decline.
Rewards positive behavior. Don't focus on negative behaviour.
Fear induces inaction.
I want go to the gym but it’s the fear inside of me.
🎯 Key Takeaways for quick navigation:
00:00 🤖 Warnings and threats have limited impact on changing behavior, as inducing fear often leads to defensive responses, rationalizations, or avoidance.
05:07 🛡️ People tend to embrace positive information about their future and disregard negative warnings, regardless of age.
08:07 💼 Using social incentives, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring is more effective in motivating behavior change than relying on fear-based warnings.
12:27 🛡️ Immediate rewards make people more likely to adopt positive behaviors for the long term, establishing habits and lifestyle changes.
13:27 💼 Highlighting progress rather than decline can be a more effective way to get people's attention and motivate positive changes in behavior.
Made with HARPA AI 👍 Upvote to improve video surfing
“If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you.”
The spiritual guide in me says, always focus on the positive rather than the negative. Us humans are more delicate than we would ever like to admit. Including myself.
That said, I am one who has grown up with a lot of fear which I learned as a mechanism for living my life. It has made me miserable and quite sad.
I find this video reassuring and uplifting, to remind myself and all of us, to always stay and focus on the positive. 🌸
exactly how i feel now thank you for existing
I watched today teds about game addiction.
And there were four points why it appears.
1) escaping from problems
2) social communications
3) challenge
4) and the possibility to see progress
Of course immediate rewards are also there.
So, I think this video tells real things
Actually when I am sad what I do is that I like to make a song and sing it so I put my emotions in the song and note it down . And than something happens very magical actually I become so happy and proud of myself that I made a really sad song and that day changes into great and proud day from a sad and broken or hurt day .
It's all different for each other
What is your thing , that you do and that motivates you and make you happy.
If you don't know than observe your self your emotion how it changes and you will find a key that you never knew was there.
Thank you for those spent their time reading it.
Now go and remember that you are the key and you can only motivate your self the best.
Go go achieve it
Have a nice day😁🙂
I believe in you.And even if it's your bad days going on dont worry every time passes every emotion goes with the time and new one comes.
Again thank you for your time madam/sir
Great talk! Also explains why all the little games on mobile phones are so terribly addictive: immediate reward (3 stars), gradual increase of challenge, possibility to do a level over and see immediate improvement, compare with results of others etc. Especially for kids, real life has a hard time competing with that, it's just "too much effort and too little / too distant reward".
Exactly what I was thinking! Now how do we take that magic and use it in real life?
I am very guilty of playing cellphone games... I had this problem years ago and now it's back. I'm not sure why I'm at it again, but it's frustrating.
Yea addictive games ruin my social life
@@MyOver50 don't blame yourself. You probably need it. I'm in my game period now as well, just enjoying it.
Same thought came to my mind. She could have used that example 😀
Summary: Threats and scare-tactics fail to incline people to change their choices -rather, they induce a fight/flight response and a bias to incorporate information that reinforces existing behaviour. Social incentives/highlighting a comparison to others' actions, immediate rewards, and progress monitoring with a sense of control, fare better.
good
I feel like other people have always had it so much easier than me. I've always struggled with this so much. It's so hard to motivate myself. I've been watching videos like this thought and it's really helped me. I don't even like TED talks but this helped me today. I needed to hear it
Clean your room and mind and buy a beef steak. Good first meal daily, enough sleep with proper protocol to sleep well
"Instead of using warnings about bad things that can happen in the future (like disease), it uses 3 principles that we know really drive you rmind and your behaviour.
1. Social Incentive
We're social people: we want to know what other people are doing, we want to do the same and we want to do it better. (...) Highlighting what other people are doing is a really strong incentive.
2. Immediate Rewards
We value immediate rewards, rewards that we can get now more than rewards that we can get in the future. You're choosing something that's sure now, rather than something that's unsure in the future. Immediate rewards give us a way to bridge the temporal gap between doing an action now that is good for us in the future, until that action becomes a habit.
3. Progress monitoring
The brain has efficient coding of positive information about the future, but is worse at processing negative information. This means that you'll want to highlight the progress people make, not the decline. (E.g. Kid smoking: If you stop smoking, you'll be better at sports.)
These 3 points can help gain a sense of control over an action which is very important for people trying to change their behaviour.
We do however still need to communicate risks, and there isn't a 1-solution-fits-all. However, if we want to motivate change, we'll want to change our approach because fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gain induces action."
A very good summary, thank you.
Thank you! You rock
What a great recap. Thanks.
Thanks for the condensation!
For sure, we cannot move forward if we don't think "forward". If we are stuck in negativity thinking...as stuck in the past, we cannot move forward. Positive strokes folks
Here is what the video says for those of you haven't got time to watch:
People are more likely to take action NOT when being threatened BUT when these 3 principles are in place:
1. Social incentives: people care about others' opinions and how they are doing in relation to their peers. We want to do the same as them and do it better.
2. Immediate reward: we all want instant gratification. So, for example, you can say to yourself every time I go to the gym I will then have a piece of dark chocolate. So you link exercise with a reward and you do it more often and in the end, it becomes a habit.
3. Progress monitoring: Highlight the progress and not the negative side. So if you are trying to quit smoking instead of focusing on bad health start focusing on the millions of benefits that people who don't smoke have! people want to hear positives, not negatives.
I just love the way how she, with evidence, goes through science to practical life. Amazing!. Thank you so much!
Thank you for your great talk
1. Social incentive
2. Immediate reward
3. Progress monitoring
I know it's been six years since this video was posted and I'm amazed at how up to date this information is! Lately, I have been using positive remarks, giving out short term and long term rewards to my nieces. They love it! They are six and eight years old, whenever they are doing something safe or dangerous I always say 'Hey! let's try something more fun! Later/tomorrow frozen yoghurt and gummy bears afterwards' I love being with them, with my sister though they are a bit different because she spoils them and gives them everything they want at the very moment just to keep them to stay still or stay quiet. I believe that we can learn a lot from children and from mid-twenties adults. Great content!
13:42 “Highlight the progress. Not the decline.” Scientifically proven fact. How many of us focus on the negative? Thx for the life lesson ️
This is wonderful and may also apply to anxiety I have. I find myself not doing things I want to do, but I also have a fear I won't have enough time to do them. I feel overwhelmed. If I look at what I would gain from doing these things (pleasure, accomplishment, etc) instead of thinking I am running out of time, I could be more motivated by the gain than the fear.
The faster you try to the slower you become. The more you loose sight of now, the more you drift beyond here and now.
Building a plan a daily structure and creating habit of fulfilling list of goals with one most important in focus to finish that day to feel pleased helps a lot. it grounds you in the task at hand and limits distractions.
But nothing like that will fix bad sleep habits, bad diet without enough balanced proteins and healthy animal fats, meat,fish, eggs dairy or chaos of thoughts left loose instead of organising them f.e. on paper especially before sleep (nsdr helps a lot).
God bless you Tali. I've used this ever since watching it for the first time &, after decades of trying, I've established a daily practice of breath work, visualization, meditation & exercise... I'm grateful for your work & this talk!!!
thanks for this video. I was motivated so much. I was very upset about my future, like I don't know where to go, what am I going to do to improve myself. in fact, I tried to quit smoking and do exercises so many times but I failed. after watching this video, I realized that I am doing the wrong way, trying to do something without progress monitoring and immediate rewards. I will get myself up and try again, Thomas Edison said: 'Our greatest weakness lies on giving up. The most certain way to success is to try just one more time.' Thanks for motivating me. I love this video.
16:13 "Fear ... the fear of losing your health, the fear of losing money (etc) ... induces inaction. While the thrill of a gain induces action. And so, to change behavior in ourselves and others, we may want to try these positive strategies rather than threats which really capitalize on the human tendency to seek progress."
"The fear induces inaction while the thrill of the gains induces action. If we want motivate change or progress we might want to think about the above on how we want to do it". No solution fits all, but this gave a good insight as to deciding the best strategy when dealing with individuals. It's also true that people like to be in control therefore social insentives, motivators and progress monitoring are great tools to use to give them the control while motivating change and progress.
My greatest motivator is Me . I try to surround myseff with positive peoples to include family and friends. .I read years ago to surround my self with people that enjoy challenges and growth. Of course negative people are everywhere. I just keep moving and following my dreams.
By listening to the TED every day, I have gained knowledge from the talk and I completely quite social media accept TH-cam.
How do you get through to people?
• Highlight the progress (not the decline)
Ex. If you quit smoking, you will be better at basket ball.
• Highlight what others are doing (indirect motivation/ social incentives)
Ex. Sam is very wise and successful! She has worked very hard to be where she is, and I know that you will do the same.
• Immediate rewards (focus on the now)
I noticed you didn’t smoke today. Let me buy you lunch! I’m proud of you.
Notes:
x what do all people want? opportunity for progress and a sense of control.
x fear and warning produces inaction because people tend to avoid “negative” information (what makes them feel bad)
x people take in information they desire to hear far better
What motivated me to clean the kitty litter box every morning rather than less often - it's so much simpler and faster to just do a few scoops in the mornings. It's just not as bad and less total time spent dealing with it at one time. Also nice to feel my cat always has a clean litter box on a daily basis. As for tidying/cleaning up, just went through a huge de-cluttering/minimalism binge. 3 car loads to donate. Life is so much easier now. So that's my top tip - if you want to make your daily cleaning/tidying easier, get into de-cluttering, minimalism, and simplifying your life.
that is very insightful and is just what i needed to know ... self-motivation can be an uphill struggle and i don't believe anyone is exempt.
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.”
― Dale Carnegie
Some people are naturally good at motivating themselves, while others might need a push from someone else. I have ADHD and I work best when I'm forced to lol. So many interesting things in this world keep distracting me
Really great. My son is on the spectrum and the constant treats that he’ll lose computer time was like pushing a boulder up a hill. Instead I just let him know what the expectation for the day is, you get your school work done you can have computer time. The sooner he’s done the more time he gets. Home schooling has never been easier.
1.Immediate Rewards
2.What are others doing better than you
3.And Monitoring Progress of change
One of the best Ted Talks I have watched. I always wondered why they say fear is met with flight or fight, but don't mention freeze. I have had anxiety issues on and off most of my life and I know that freezing is the way I react to it almost always. Tali Sharot makes a lot of sense explaining why fear isn't a good motivation for changing anyone.
Patronizing.
To be motivated is to be reminded why you are doing things. There may be times of no progress, then take a break and dont give up. Only you can motivate yourself!
Highlight the progress, not the decline. I find that when I give compliments, people respond to me in a satisfying fashion, which is similar to highlighting their progress in the present. And I've been giving sincere compliment's for 20+ years.
I've been following her for a few months and I think she's amazing, I love her colorful artwork and I've even buy her book, she has a lot of incredible examples and techniques to try, she's a big inspiration for a lot of artists, including myself!
Could you send me the PDF of her book??
What is the name of the book
This is my first time and i no am going to enjoy listen to TED talk it will help me out alot
Yes people must absolutely be recognised and rewarded for the progress they make so they feel valued and motivated to contribute to a cause they can believe is good. What I find really interesting is that many people seem to value more time off work more than a pay rise. People are looking for time to recover, relax and enjoy life more, and when people are given this opportunity they often perform better at work, this is why no work Wednesday can be a good idea. Thank you for this insightful video :)
”People tends to change their beliefs towards a more desirable one ” - very trueee
Notice and appreciate what you want more of - in yourself and others. It will grow. Ignore what you can of what you'd like to extinguish, it will diminish.
Yeah, like toxic people and ones that don't want anything in life, but love to complain .
I love your comment. It's very inspiring.
To all those that continue to seek, grind and make it happen, I honor you! The best is yet to be!!!
I am just a small voice but I just want to say thank you to Forwago. This program helped me to build self-confidence and taught me how to believe in myself. More people should find out about it. Thank you, Forwago!
Profound insight on motivational psychology and behavior change. Great work Dr. Sharot!
It is great doctor 👍
Very impressive and motivating! I love how you go in-depth by breaking the information down into easy understanding! My ADD brain needed this! Thank you, keep up the good work and don't allow the negatives or critics to hinder your growth and mindset!
Emotional Intelligence is one of these elements of our personality we can work on and develop it. I have been observing my clients as they were working on their EQ and I loved their results. Emotional Intelligence is also a way to understand ourselves better and others, too.
I prefer more rational inteligence. Training mind to not get emotional and don't care about emotional, irrational people. Helps even better.
Once it all was simply called controlling oneself and observing world. No big intelligence in that.
On my daily to do list I always put 2 things that I do anyway so I never feel like nothing is getting done. Keep life positive 😀
That was phenominal. It totally makes sense. How impactful to use this for any coaching or teaching practice. This will help so many people
I watched the entire video. It looks interesting. Most important things I learnt from this video are: If we want to motivate people, we have to give them a some kind of power, Many people try motivate people negatively, telling them about the wrong side, for example, the fear of loosing money leads to inaction; the best way to motivate people or ourselve is employing progressing, for example, instead of telling someone ‘Stop smoking, otherwise you will suffer from cancer therefore you will die’, we can tell him ‘ You know, if you stop smoking, you will improve well in sport’; important things to keep in mind in order to motivate ourselve or people: Social Incentive,immediate rewards, and progress monitoring.
Positive thoughts create positive actions so thank you for highlighting that crucial fact! Changing you verbiage and mindset is the start of achieving better outcomes and living full out.
Nancy Solari YOU HAVE A GREAT CHANNEL AND YER PRETTY . GOD BLESS YOU MORE !
Imagine doing this with yourself. Have jars that you fill with stones depending on whether you do a good or a bad thing. So when you do a good habit, put a stone in the good jar and when you do a bad thing put a stone in the bad jar. You could set the criteria for what counts as good or bad and you could use the levels of stones in each jar to see how you are trending overall in your habits. You could even place these in a visible place in your home so others could see them.
I used to hate my fears and try to avoid them. But then, to overcome them i push myself to do what is scared me again and again. It's changed my behaviour to the amazing life where there is no place for fears and anger.
Great. 16:12 summarizes it nicely: "Fear induces inaction, while the thrill of a gain induces action.
I've struggled with procrastination all my life. One thing I've done recently is to start compartmentalising each part of my day. i.e. I need to be doing x at 7pm, so I need to do this now to free up that block of the day.
Especially at night this helps, because often I would stay up till 3am (often later) just browsing online and doing nothing important. Once I started viewing sleep as another part of one huge (as opposed to viewing each day as separate to each other, meaning I could stay up as long as I liked because it's the end of the day and I can put off sleep for a little bit) that's when everything started to click into place, and I could actually get on with everyday tasks like normal people do. It's stopped me feeling like I'm fighting through the day to get everything done, and feels more like I'm in control of my life.
Sure, there are days where I struggle to do this, especially if I've broken this new daytime routine by going on vacation, or travelling, but I figure this is because I've had a lifetime routine of no routine, and it'll be a long time before this new routine becomes second nature to me, it may take years even, but at least I know I'm on the right path to sorting out this grave issue of mine.
Eddie Spencer-Small perhaps you should review Briggs Meyer 16 personalities in which 2% only are INFJ.. Rare & Very Typical Symptom or Behavior.
Let me know what you think. Please.
Wow, that's exactly what I'm doing now! Wasting my time and putting off the things I have to do later. I hope I can follow your good example.
@@speedytempo3819 It's getting started that's the hardest thing, but once you get into a rhythm it's much easier to continue with. Also if you can commit to just 5 minutes of whatever task you're putting off (as opposed to an hour), it's more manageable. Good luck. Procrastination is a horrible affliction.
@@craigwallacewilliams5534 Apparently I'm an INFP-T, and I've looked at the characteristics and they hit home: creative, private, takes things personally. It's like I'm reading a description of me!
"The true friends of people with the Mediator personality type tend to be few and far between, but those that make the cut are often friends for life" That is me.
@@edwardspencer-small7021 I know. Thanks for the tip
I think self discipline is way important. you just have to do it...with motivation or without, just because you took a decision and you must stick to it.
i don't believe self-discipline is that simple. Motivation is like the engine that keeps us running. It's the force that drives us to produce desired results. It's our inertia. Without motivation it's easy for some of us to chose the less-productive or the instantly gratifying option-- especially when theres little to no consequences. When you grasp the concept of self-motivation , the discipline and commitment just comes naturally. From a book i've learned as humans, our biggest motivator is freedom of control. We want to feel in control of our environment and our lives and not feel forced. By giving ourself choices in our daily chores/tasks/commitments, we earn back that sense of control thus making us more motivated to follow through (because it feels like our own decision and not anyone else's). For instance, we know when we go into work we have an unruly list of tasks to complete by the end of the day; by simply asking ourselves "what would i like to complete first", "what time will i take my break?" or just simply giving yourself the option to complete what task and when, will gratify us with a sense of control we innately desire. From a person who lacked self-discipline for a long time, i had to re-teach myself how to motivate and learn long-term gratification is better than instantaneous. You sound like a pretty disciplined person and like you already have your big motivator yourself (self-commitment). For people like me, that's not a big motivator; i'm pretty okay with falling through on tasks because i don't care too much. If you're interested in the book it's called "Smarter, Faster, Better: The Transformative Power of Real Productivity". It's a great read and dives into the neurological science behind motivation as well as psychological.
@@akiliturner6204 i love your take on this, it made me feel much better about myself and was very well-written, thank u and have a nice day! :)
I improved my English when I listen this video everyday. Thank you
One of the Best Ted Talks ever!!
You cant motivate a change with negative ideas/feelings but you can with positive behavior.
This is what we need just right about now. With the news about the pandemic and global warming. We are being fed with negative feedbacks about the disease and the fires and the ice. I am not saying that the earth is flat and the moonwalk is fake. It's just that having positive feedbacks should also be heard and acknowledged because as the speaker said, it is what makes the people act and action is what we need right now.
Give love. Share love. You are loved.
I know this to be correct from my own reactions to speed limit sensor cameras on the road. When I know I am approaching the type that highlights your speed on it’s digital display board and says ‘Thank You’ in green writing, when you are at or below the speed limit, I like to see that ‘Thank You’ and make doubly sure to keep my speed in check. ... But the signs that just flash up and only say, ‘SLOW DOWN’ in red writing, do not have the same affect on me. As we are all not perfect, occasionally these negative ones will show up on your journey and literally shout at you to SLOW DOWN. Unfortunately I must say the only response I get is to be irritated by them if I have unintentionally set one off. In fact I have even noticed that some roads that have this type of speed deterrent, come on no matter your speed just to reinforce the speed limit on that road, and they definitely have a negative affect in me. Maybe the Highway Agency should consider this aspect of human psychology, when it comes to trying to make the roads safe?
Wow, a TED talk that actually delivers! I've been watching a bunch of these lately, and most seem so light and fluffy, but this one has good info from start to finish.
Feeling so relaxed after hearing this.....I always try to fit in good habits within a good and healthy daily routine.....but i can't be consistent....but swear from now on I'm gonna make it....
The talk really expresses the impact of positive things rather than a threat. Thank you for such a nice talk.
Sanket Sonawane
And yet the fear of lose is far greater than the attraction of gain. Go figure.
I'd be happier seeing my glass as half full then half empty. I agree with the power of positive thinking. Nice talk.
Giving people a sense of control is a really important motivator. Motivation is directly connected to the emotional modality of our dopamine secretion, which is directly connected to pleasure, pain lymphatic secretion, equaling instant movement.
The comment she makes about hand washing certainly resonates in the era of Covid-19.
Take away: giving people a sense of control is shown through positivity and rewards, stead of using fear tactics and threats.
In order to change one's behaviour its not fear which changes them.. but the their Values of life and their inner intention to change.. not something that was inserted into them from outside like fear.
When a person changes their values of life and care more about good things and change their intentions to live a good life.. their behaviour will automatically change, their will power increases and many more but it takes 90-180 days to rewire the brain and thus change their lives.
What a class act! The outfit, lovely voice, and calm accuracy was a welcome treat. Kudos!
Wassup with her do, tho?
Class act is a form of sarcasm
@@annangel4828 no joke... bust out the hair brush girl !
She's a class act because of her knowledge as a neuroscientist and professor (who communicates very well, agreed).
the way she explained this, basically positive reinforcement, actually sounds doable. i think i'm going to do just that, with the progress reports and all.
social incentives, immediate reward, and progress monitoring.....key to quitting all bad behavior
.
I need everyone to wish me luck. I’ve got a meeting at the bank in a few minutes, and if all goes well, I will finally be debt free.
I’ m so excited, I can barely get my ski mask on.😆😆😎😄
I hope your meeting went well. Even if mot, i still support you for striving to be better. You've got this!
What happened??
[Also wants to know]
Uhh, you guys do know that he's saying he's gonna rob the bank... right? lol
I dont know you, so dont wait for any good wish from me please
Lovely talk. Thanks for sharing. I wish most of the organisations followed this . We'd have less stressed and better citizens.
I see a field of sunflowers in your future as you continue your amazing journey, Aly. Congratulations on this excellent mission!
Personal Development is key to finding your true self!
This is one of the best talks I’ve heard. It’s so accurate.
Excellent techniques. I'd like to try this on my teenage grandsons! Motivate them to complete house chores and school work.
I knew several girls in my grade 3 and 4 home room class who were already addicted to gold stars. They probably went on to have far more success in life than I've had (this predilection can carry you all the way through post-graduate studies), but I bet I had more _actual_ fun. Part of my attitude was "who are you to tell me what's worth a gold star?" Social skepticism has good uses, too, but it's not a life program to wind up as the angel on top the xmas tree. Each to their own.
"Who are you to tell me what's worth a gold star?" This is how my brain works also....although sometimes I think it may be to my own detriment.
For me it has always been about what my gain is as opposed to the gold star. I worked for companies that gave out gold stars. I told them I work for money, so you need to monetize it. They began giving out cash that was less than you earn in two hours for the equivalent of ten hours of extra effort. People were jumping through hoops while I was circulating my resume. Focusing on doing my job without needing to decipher psychological manipulation is better for me.
Laszlo Bock explains this lucidly in _Work Rules: Insights from Inside Google_ (2015), which is why Google _does_ provide high rates of marginal compensation for high achievers (rather than fatuous brownie points). Because if you don't do this, your star performers constantly reprice themselves on the open market. Read the book. There are at least a few pages every chapter that outperform. Note also that Jordan Peterson harps on endlessly about the Pareto distribution, for precisely this reason. (If you _really_ believe in superior performance, you price a book at its best two pages, so don't be laughing at HR unless you're able to make this counterintuitive conceptual leap yourself.)
Bio - interesting. Teachers are rewarded with praise about their worthiness when they do well. Or a good inspection result. There are few career rings on the teaching ladder - head of year, deputy, head etc. Often men occupy these senior or management polity despite there being a dearth of male teachers. Men generally have a much more realistic, and in my view healthy, expectation of what reward should mean. More money. Not always and not for everything. Women are still often stuck in the 19th century ethos that teaching is a calling. Schools especially primaries, infantilise their staff. You cannot leave the school during a free period, you cannot make a private phone call, you are required to do playground duty and eat with the children. Despite being a highly trained professional.
I had friends tell me I was doing a 'worthy ' job when I taught. It felt so utterly patronising. Teachers need to be brought into the 21st century - proper wages and grown up facilities like teachers' canteens, private phones, showers and creches, leave to go outside the school in free periods, no extra duties which can be performed by auxiliary staff. Reward should be financial just as in every other profession, not the specious equivalents of 'gold stars'.
Excellent!Thank you for that.
5* Fun..great concept!