FTM ~ what is dysphoria.
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ค. 2024
- hey!
These are my PERSONAL definitions and experiences of what gender dysphoria is for FTM transguys like myself.
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The cage analogy is the best explanation on gender dysphoria that I've come across so far. I think gender dysphoria is one of the things that if you've never experienced it yourself then you probably will never truly understand it. Cis people would speculate that trans people feel dysphoric because of oppressive social gender roles, because that's all they could possibly relate to. Cis people feel frustrated at times by the restrictive and narrow gender roles, and infer that that must be the cause of transgender, that trans people transition in order to escape certain gender roles and embrace other (e.g. a transwoman is really just a man who loves wearing dresses and being feminine, so "he" transitions to enjoy that life style more freely). That's largely FALSE. While restrictive gender roles can certainly trigger or exacerbate gender dysphoria, they are not the cause of gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a bodily and psychological pain that can become overwhelming at times. It's not to be dismissed by saying "but gender is just a social construct" or "you can like guy stuff even when you are a woman". I understand that people usually mean well when they say those, but it can get very irritating when clueless well-meaning people trivialize a real medical condition that often ends up requiring medical intervention to alleviate pain.
Hey I’m very interested in this topic and try to support (transgender) People
I still have one question and I would love to understand the background of it so I know it for the future I don’t want to offend anyone with my question btw
My question: does the body disphoria (transgender men) includes the topic pregnancy because I the way I understood this topic it’s more characteristic for biological women and that transgender men don’t feel well with female characteristics
Oh my god. My boyfriend is a trans boy and I've been trying so hard to understand how he feels. Now I know. Now I can understand. Thank you. Thank you so so much.
You know once I figured it out I got these mad urges all the time, when I woke up I'd be all. "I could tell everyone right now and get this over with and get the self I deserve" I would have monologues to myself in the empty house with no one but the cats listening to how I would explain everything. I'd be like "I could tell mom right now, I could tell my sister explain it this way or that" But then five minutes later wonder what had gone over me. It just wasn't time yet. I wanted to wait until I could show that I meant what I was saying that I could explain in the right way at the right time.
+NevermindTheZombie This, all the time.
+NevermindTheZombie Same for me rn,
xD Funny how I commented this almost a year ago. I'm out now to my family at least ^.^
I waited until I did all the research I could and made triple sure of my feelings. I waited until I was ready which was the right time for me.
Me in my head, all of the time...
When I was younger my parents were talking about a news story. I can't remember the specifics but they told me that someone stupid had been taking female hormones to make themselves grow breasts even though they were a boy. At the I could not comprehend that. I called the person stupid too. I couldn't understand why anybody would want to make themselves into a girl. I secretly wanted to be a boy. So the concept that somebody wanted to be a girl boggled me. But now, years later, I know how that feels. To be stuck in the wrong body wanting desperatly for others to see you as you see yourself.
Hey! This may sound strange, but after reading your comment I am now wondering how you are doing. Are you finally able to be your true self? I hope you are well and able to walk through life as YOU.
You always seem to upload videos on the *exact* day that I need them. Today I'm planning to call the therapist, but I was starting to talk myself out of it. Telling myself things like, "I'll just wait till next year, it'll be easier", and "I'm not ready to come out to my dad as trans, so maybe in a year it will be better to tell him" and so on. So... Yeah. Hears hoping I don't chicken-shit out and actually make that appointment! :P
You can dooo iiiiit! Be strong you are not alone! :)
Never knew I'd find you commenting on one of chase's videos :D Good luck with the therapist and eventually telling your dad! Been there :)
bluekyokitty did u do it ? Did u do it ?
When you said that it was a TH-cam video that helped you to come to the realization that you were trans I was like "Oh my God, I'm not the only one" and I have been so worried for the past few months that maybe I was wrong and I just said I was trans to be different. But the way that I felt when I watched that video, it felt like the end of a book or movie when they release that little bit of information that connects everything that had happened in the story together. It was like my entire life had been connected in this way, and I had just had the blindfold ripped off to see it. I don't think that what I'm going through is just a phase, and I can't wait for the day that I can start a physical transition to put my body where I've always secretly wanted it to be.
Saying "clan" sounds almost cult-like. We are a community of people who share eerily similar experiences and although those experiences might be a little different we are all here to help one another out.
omg same for me tho it was a lacigreen video idr which one but there was a trans guy in it and like idk something clicked and i was like "WHOA. THIS IS POSSIBLE???" i've always had terrible top dysphoria idek i'm just glad other people have had this happen
You literally just explained my dysphoria perfectly. I kept doubting that I was trans because I don't completely hate my body, I just don't see the body I'm in as me, I now believe in who I am. Thank you so much :) you just took away one of my bars!
You word things so perfectly and I can relate so much to you. Unfortunatley im still in the cage but seeing that you made it out gives me hope
I really loved this video because its a brilliant explanation of how I personally experience my Dysphoria. I think my body is nice for a woman, but as a man I just do not connect with it at all.
I really wish I'd seen this four years ago. :)
In Jackson Bird's coming out video he says that as a woman he was playing a game and he was winning, but being a woman was just a game. I just thought he said it really well.
Chase, I just want to tell you that many of us (and I'm an older guy) really appreciate the videos that you and other guys put up. For the people who document what you are going through, the highs and lows, you give us courage. To say how happy you are isn't rubbing it in our faces, it gives us hope for the future. You let us know we aren't alone and sometimes for those of us that don't fit into one category or another can find the brotherhood we need.
So thank you.
The cage is a really good way of explaining it. I personally feel like instead of wanting my skin to crawl off, I want to step out. I have this vision of myself zipping down my front and shedding my body and there in front of me is, well, me. I have a flat chest, I have the genitals I want (even though I'm not sure what they are yet), I'm wearing the only clothes I own that make me feel comfortable in my gender (my black suity shirt and this funny white flower crown) and I am exactly the way I am in my mind. When I'm dysphoric, I feel like I'm caving in on myself, like I'm me, here inside this body, but I'm slowly being crushed inside of this shell, I can feel my skin crawling on my back. That's the only way I can think of to describe it.
I agree. This is how it is with me as well.
I only have mirrors that show my body from the shoulders up because my face already looks male but I still have breasts. It's uncomfortable and everything but I manage to forget about the fact that I'm still in a female body as long as I don't see it. I don't want to feel down all day and slip back to depression because I can't come out as trans yet. It's like blinding yourself so that you don't have to see yourself drowing. I just hope that I'll still be alive once I finish high school and university because that's probably the earliest I can start transitioning without being kicked out.
Brb sobbing forever
Hey! How are you today?
This speaks to more than my dysphoria. It speaks to the abuse I'm experiencing. I know you didn't intend it that way, but thanks for this.
Your metaphor damn near made me cry with how close to my soul it hit.
i cried 15 minutes straight at "BOY" and then i was like what if im trans
me to
You said you saw that first video dec. 16th, well 8 years from then I'm watching this and this made the most sense to me more than anything else, thank you
I can only hope that the world finds your channel because you alone offer so much insight and inspiration for all people, trans* or not. This was one of your best.
Very well spoken, clear and concise, but with such genuine and honest emotion. Thank you! So many of your videos (and especially this one) leave me saying, "this could be me, telling this story!" It's wonderful to know how many others are going through (or have already gone through) these same things that I have. Keep these up - you're really good at it! Thanks again.
hey chase, my name is Teagan and im 19, and my mom is actually coming out to see me tomorrow ( i live in a different state) and i want to tell her that im actually male, but im so afraid that she will disown me, but i plan on using this video to explain to her how much it hurts me to have to live in the wrong body.i really hope that it helps her accept me. thank you so much for doing what you do for the trans community.
Hey! It has been 1 year since you've commented. How did it go?
It's been 4 years since you posted this comment, did telling your mom go well? Did she accept you? Are you okay?
Holy shit... that's it. That's it exactly. I could cry.
Your metaphor for being trans is delicious!! I love it!! couldn't explain it better myself. When you said "it was like one of the bars being taken away, and you could reach your shoulder out to be the person you wanted to become" made me emotional cause that's exactly how I feel but was never able to put it into words.
nooo like. i know this video is really old but like i wanna tell you anyway, it doesn't feel like you're rubbing it in at all. like i've known i was trans for like. three years now? and i'm someone who can't transition or even come out right now because i live at home and have no money and my parents are religious as fuuuuuck ugh. like i told them i was bi and my dad flipped a shit like it was awful so god i don't even wanna think about what would happen if he knew i was trans. but hearing you talk about how good it feels to transition like seriously it gives me hope. like it reminds me that all the waiting will be so worth it once i can finally transition. like i sit on youtube for hours and just watch trans guys talk about being happy about transitioning and i latch onto it so tightly and just. feed off their happiness and their relief and i feel like maybe i can be patient for now because that's what's waiting for me.
sometimes i think im lying to myself but then i remember how much i cry when i feel euphoria because being in this body just feels wrong
when you said you saw that video that made you cry on Dec 16th or so it resonated with me heavily. because your videos made that happen for me. whenever you describe what its like i really realize that its me. this is me as much as i may try to push it away it will always come back... im happiest this way anyway... sooo thank you for helping me realize who i am... you also inspired me to make a youtube as well so thank you for that as well i really love the people ive already accumulated and reached with my videos... just thank you Chase Ross
I have been trying to describe this to friends and family for so long so you have no idea how much I appreciate you making this video. You absolutely nailed it. Thank you so much.
Hey Chase, this is my first video I've watched of yours and I'm very thankful for coming up to this video. I've always had these dysphoric feelings but I've never really known the name for it. I'd like to thank you for making this video, because I truly relate with your type of emotions.
Freedom will never be in flesh but always in spirit. "when you live through the flesh, you shall have corruption of the flesh but when you live through the spirit you shall have ever lasting life" :)
Wow, that explanation with the cage is so true.
Though I'm Cis, I've got some kind of disphoria about my body too. I never knew how to put it into words but the metaphor you used is just... that's exactly what it feels like.
As always this is a very interesting video and I'm so glad I found your channel because I learn so much. Not only trans-related things but in general. And you're such a great person, so funny, and sympathetic and I just love watching your videos.
God, I can so relate to this. I'm still going through those years of hating myself until I am able to finally transition, but it seems every year is just a step closer to being truly happy. As always, a great vid Chase.
This is the BEST video on trans bar none. Extremely helpful to me as the mom of a trans woman. Thank you, Chase!
Wow, this was very candid. This is actually one of the first videos I've watched of yours. I did find myself feeling quite emotionally stirred by what you said, as it resonates so much with me. I'm in a terrible situation right now, where I know how I feel about myself (I hate, and have always hated being female bodied) - But I simply cannot bring myself to make steps in implementing changes so I don't feel so awful. I feel beyond desperate at the moment because I've had 22 years of being imprisoned in a body that is not aligned with my mind and spirit.
Thank you so much for making this! I'm 15, and I've grown to a point that I can live with my body, but every now and again I do feel disappointed and disgusted with myself. Your story is basically the same as mine up until now, although I started getting boobs around 9, and even now I'm a C 40. What really sucks is my mom doesn't know so I can't buy a packer or a binder. I was really nervous that maybe I wasn't really transgender because my dysphoria isn't nearly as bad as a lot of other TH-camrs and bloggers make theirs out to be, and I acted like a boy and a girl. I'm so much more comfortable with the fact that I'm trans thanks to this video.
Oh my god, if we aren't the same person. The only difference is that I am just coming to terms with being transgender and it's getting me so anxious. The whole coming out ordeal, especially to my parents who have their share of homophobia and transphobia
Randi Strit I just came out, and my parent isn't the most supportive,but its fine. Don't come out if you don't feel safe, even if its only a tiny feeling in the pit of your stomach, always have a back up plan.
I realised I was trans through TH-cam too! And I also told myself for a good five or six moths that I wasn't trans and that I was being silly. But over the past about four months, I've realised that I am actually trans, and even though I'm not out to my family yet i do dress like a boy and I do kind of pass a little. Also, I came out to one of my close group of friends a couple of days ago
I just have to say that your video is amazing. I literally cried cause I recognise myself so much in what you said. I'm also FtM and have really terrible dysphoria sometimes. But yeah, so far hormones and top surgery has really made my life easier. So there's hope and such.
I've never cried at a TH-cam video before yet here I am with blurry watery vision. I'm questioning, and this meant so much to me. Thank you.
Thank you for making this video! I really appreciate it.
wow dude thanks so much. I came out to my parents recently and I've been trying to explain dysphoria to them, and your metaphor is so great, I'm definitely gonna tell them that. I wish I could show them your video but they don't speak english. ;;
Thanks so much for making this video!
Thank you for uploading this.
I have friend who's genderfluid, and I'm looking up videos to understand them better. During my search a word kept popping up: dysphoria. I didn't know what it meant, but it sounded like such an ugly word.
This video was the most relevant match for, "What is dysphoria?" Your metaphor really helps me understand what my friend might feel some days.
Also, to better understand, I've decided to try something. I'm going to go shopping for, and try on women's clothing in public. I already feel uncomfortable thinking about it, and I wonder if that's what dysphoria must feel like.
Happy holidays, mate. Thanks again for putting yourself out there.
I love your videos men!! this was the best discription!!
Thank you so much. I wasn't sure whether I was trans or if I had gender dysphoria, thank you for explaining it to me I really understand know and I hope to come out soon. Thank you!
You have saved me... I am crying happy tears right now.
When you were saying how you felt when you realized you were trans*, thats how I felt when I found your videos, everything makes sense now. I am so fucking thankful for you, Chase.
This video was so amazing. I am cisgender and I am trying to get as much education as I can get so I can be a better advocate for all my Trans friends. Thank you for this video. I love hearing about peoples experiences with this kind of stuff. I am glad that now you are happy with what you see in the mirror. You are a good looking man. Thanks again.
OMG thank you for posting this video. I can totally relate to being in a cage and all the things u said about being younger. I haven't transition yet and I am working on telling my parents. I face a lot of disforia when people call me by female pronouns and my body and sometimes I just cry. So I am glad u said that you feel like your out of the cage because I was worried that I might be stuck in it forever.
Wow, you explained it very well. Thanks for the videos!!
***** i'm trans and i related to this so much and when you said about one of the bars disappearing and getting closer to freedom at about 8:00 i burst into tears
Thank you for this chase !!
This is just incredibly relatable. Thank you!
I love your videos and this one made me cry. I have known I am trans for a while now and I have come out and it wasn't good. Now I am told everyday that I need to accept my body and "who I am". But who I see in the mirror isn't me (or at least it doesn't feel like me). And I do have friends that are very supportive. But there are some people who don't believe that in truly trans because I can't even start dressing the way I want.
kia simpson I'm pretty much going through the same thing
How you found out you were trans is very similar to my experience c;
I'm crying rewatching this video
holy crap 4:53 I started to cry because what you were saying hit me hard. then I gasped because you said your date of realization was Dec 16 2006....mine was Dec 16th 2016....like holy crap o.o I wasn't expecting that!
Thank you for this video!! 😭🙌
I’ve always wanted to be a boy, a deep longing but when it comes to it I’m scared to transition. I tried extremely hard to be very feminine, I even had a baby but being a wife and mother crippled me. I couldn’t understand the underlying discomfort I always had. I couldn’t identify trans for so long because of the bad rep and lack of FTMs. I saw a trans guy almost a year ago and something clicked. My dysphoria isn’t a stake to the heart, I’m anxious presenting Male but I love it. It takes some getting used to. I hated being female, hate the role, hate having to be THAT one. I don’t want a beard and I’m scared of T because I don’t know what it’ll do to my body (I’m 26) I don’t want to lose my looks or detransitioner
Brilliant video! Thank you so much!
God, explaining anything trans-related to my mom is nigh impossible. I've been out to her for a couple months and she still comes up to me and says, with a shocked look on her face, "You want to live as a MAN?!" Like... you got memory issues or something? I've said it so many times and she refuses to try to understand.
And then she threatens to kick me out because I am, in her words, "making HER miserable"? I'm not doing anything to her! How am I making HER miserable? I barely ever see her because she's at work and I'm at home, studying for college and being a pretty damn good kid. But now I'm a troublemaker by being trans?
I will NEVER treat my kid(s) this way. I honestly think cis parents are awful and close-minded and it would've been amazing to have LGBT+ parents.
omg MY dysphoria is actually "i hate my boobs im going to cut them off" lol
That actually made me cry a little. I'm tempted to share this with my mom. I came out to her as trans in group therapy, and she took it fairly well but keeps making small, random, offensive comments. I've been trying to explain to her why I want to be called "Cole" but it doesn't click. I've even tried showing her articles over it... This describes it way better, though, so wish me good luck... *sighs*
So, you started speaking about the video that you seen, and those feels, and omg. Im feeling it rn, im really crying right now and omg. I cant say anything else... I think im feeling what you were feeling with that video, i'm feeling it with your video, thank you so much, that's true, everything make sense, i'm glad that ive found this video today at 3 am. Thank you so much...
+Dory Nemo Hey yes!!! it's so awesome to found some people like me!! 8)
+Dory Nemo OMG i just did it and it's great, i loved it so much, my heart just broke with the chorus, thank you for telling me, is just awesome !! //sobs
+Dory Nemo It's so awesome, yeah!!
+Dory Nemo YEEEESSS EXACTLY!!!! JUST LIKE THAT OMG XDD
+Daru Niko (Daruko) what are you doing here Gerard? ? 😂
i literally cried my eyes out this was so accurate
I'm not the only person that played with both cars and dolls that makes me feel better. Also thanks i had a ruff idea what dysphoria is but now i think i get so i feel a lot better.
OH MY GOD YOU HAVE LOST SO MUCH WEIGHT THIS VIDEO FEELS SO OLD OMG GOOD JOB WITH YOUR RUNNING!!!!!! ////also i wanted to ask, does dysphoria ever go away completely?
From what I've heard from other guys, no, dysphoria will never go away completely. It will always be there, but it can decrease, either over time or through treatment (Hormones, therapy, surgery etc.)
And that Chase why i'm proud to know you as much as i do. :o)
aaaaand here come the tears D:
Shiwera Kiren same
Got into a nasty fight with my Mom. She just can't understand how miserable I am having to wait for bullshit real life stuff getting in the way of starting hormone therapy. It's to the point where I'm scared I'm not going to make it by the end of the year. And even after nearly 2 years she still calls me her daughter. My deadname. So thanks for making this video. First thing that popped up when I looked up ways to explain dysphoria to non trans. Because all the stuff I've been trying to say just can't stick with Mom. And I'm unable to support myself through health reasons. I have to depend on her and I'm just terrified I'm going to end up part of the trans suicide statistic. I don't want that to be my destiny. I'm not sure if she'll understand after watching the video. If she ever watches it. But just hearing other people knowing the pain I'm in, it's beyond comforting. It's far too easy to feel like it's just you alone feeling this. All my friends and my boyfriend are long distance. I can't even drive at 26. I can't leave and go somewhere if I'm lonely. I try to avoid talking as much as possible just because of this stupid voice thats not mine. And yet Mom still can't understand how much this is killing me.
fuck man my moms been texting me horrible stuff these last few days. then she got her fucking boyfriend involved too ad theyre both telling me they dont give a shit and theyre saying heaps of stuff but something they said is i have to be a girl because thats what they want and that tranisitioning will get in the way of my studies.............. lol k i dont see how the fact i might be starting hormones will be getting in the way of my music course but okayy
thank you.
"You finally feel like your skin is being owned by the owner." YES YES this!!
Dude, you're literally Mr. Bright Side XD
But, no, for real, this video was super helpful
this really opened my eyes i can relate a lot
Dysphoria is hell on earth.
I grew up with it and planned to transition as soon as I could in late 90s after high school and college was done. I moved to city that was renowned for having a top SRS clinic and an lgbt community.
They wouldn't take my insurance and medical services were gatekeeped and I was turned away. I lived as a woman for a week during this time (fortunately I have a gender neutral name). For about a year I was a gender queer drag queen but it didn't solve the problem.
For the next decade I planned I would transition soon. And came close and was about to relocate and transition the summer I turned 30. That may I was diagnosed with cancer. That took less than a year to treat and I've been in remission since.
Sometime during that period I thought transition wasn't going happen and threw all my trans books, movies, clothes, everything away. I just focused on being a cis gay male. I worked on butching my appearance, practiced a deeper voice, movement and all the feminine behaviors that were natural to me.
I noticed I was grumpy and exhausted all the time. I was angry and tired because I trying to suppress myself and learned to ignore my self and block out the "I'm really a woman and need to transition" from my mind. Denial is painful.
Dysphoria to me is basically the hurt that I can't show the world how I relate to it. The world, treats men and women differently and men and women relate to men and women differently. I saw that I'm a woman and I was being treated as a man. Women talk to women differently than how they would a man. Even if a man is nearby they change. I've work in female dominated fields and maybe 4 years in men's so I've seen the difference. Its not subtle. My dysphoria isn't about sex, or clothes its about chronically not fitting in a world that treats you as another. And it hurts
I dealt with that by shutting down and unhealthy coping skills. Web md says GD untreated can lead to depression, social anxiety, isolation, drug and alcohol addiction, and suicidal idolation.
Looking back at the past few years life is treading water. I haven't come out as trans but as I have as person with gender ddysphoria. I have a therapist and started talking about.
(I've basically been writing essays on you tubrr pages -sorry) but I'm actually addressing it for the first time and I never talked about being trans in decades
this might be weird but a couple episodes ago on hannibal there was a guy who thought he was a beast born in a mans body and he said, sort of describing dysphoria, "do you know what its like when your skin doesnt fit" and i relate to that statement so much ...
thanks for this video. today i got diagnosed with gender dysphoria so this really helped me.
trans* woman here. I used almost the same metaphor, when I tried to make sense of my dysphoria... except for the mirror. The bars of the cage, was my mirror, that was what looked male. In my mind, people weren't able to see past the bars.
i am almost ready to come out...
i want to show my parents this video.
I'm 19 now.. and a born female. I'm a tomboy but alot of the time I feel like I am a boy inside like I was meant to be a boy. I keep urging myself to seek therapy but I'm such a proud person.. the thing that terrifies me is I have a feminine side that comes out once or twice a month which may just be the estrogen release right before menstruation.. but I'm scared IL become a man and I'll regret it when I'm older.. I want to wait a year but this dysphoria is me every day. I'll wake up feeling good then an hour later I'll have a overwhelming feeling of sadness and trapped inside. thanks for the video it helped to put my finger on what I'm missing
well said Chase! :)
Thank you!
You're amazing
I feel like my body isn't real, like I'll be sitting down and like it doesn't feel real. I've always wore men clothing men's shoes I've always been a very masculine female like I'm pre t and my voice is deep and I have broad shoulders and I'm really tall and I don't like my hair I've always told my parents I want it gone. Idk is this disphoria. Like I just dont feel right?
I'm currently 12, and I just read a book that helped me realize what was wrong. (The Art of being normal) I've always hated dresses and Barbie and flowers and pink and all that. Me and my family have always assumed I was a tomboy. Once I read the book I felt something that I have Felt but not as strongly before.. I started seriously hating everything girly, all my clothes, to the point where I only wore 1 outfit untill my parents bought me more black, green, grey clothes because I couldn't stand my clothes. Now I think I'm absolutely sure I'm a boy
I understand this is an old video but I wanted to describe what my dysphoria is like just in case someone shares the same idea and sees it. For me, it's like having a parent or grandparent pick out an outfit for me, it's super uncomfortable and not my style but they love it so I wear it anyway, just to see them smiling and I fear that if I say I don't like it, it could anger/sadden them.
augh sometimes i get a huge wave of dysphoria and I can't start T yet (hopefully in a years time I'll be on it though)
I am the proud mother of an 8 year-old trans boy. He has transitioned outside of school and this school year is fully transitioning at school. I am so scared about the transphobic mentality of the people in our community. I love your video. I would love to share it with my son and also I would love to share it with the other parents of children at his school. I am wondering if you can possibly make a video with the same exact message, but on a more introductory and child-friendly level? I really want to get people to understand what gender dysphoria feels like for a child. I would like to be able to ease ignorant people into the idea of using my son's preferred pronouns and name. I am disgusted by the level of "concern" that other parents have and how they can transfer that to their kids. It would be great to keep it simple and not talk about puberty or anything beyond that. I am also trying to find a way to communicate to other parents that being trans has nothing to do with sexual preference, especially since he will be using the boys' bathroom.
i felt this way when i was about 15 which is 30 years ago but i thought it was a phase and bottled things up, i have not started t yet
Спасибо за русские субтитры. И в моем языке глаголы могут быть с женскими и мужскими окончаниями, поэтому при разговоре мне тяжело не напороться на дисфорию. Я не могу рассказывать истории, потому что глаголы прошедшего времени имеют пол (бежала - она бежала, бежал - он бежал).
Я достаточно плохо различаю что я чувствую и мне трудно уловить метафору, потому что я подавил в себе чувства, но более менее прямые выражения о дисфории оказались очень четкими. Особенно про игрушки и женские/мужские занятия. Я все время злился, потому что это не было моей дисфорией, звучало, как поверхностные стереотипы.
Ещё раз спасибо за субтитры, даже сейчас блогеров-трансгендеров действительно мало, хотя они очень нужны некоторым людям, чтобы они видели, что не одни.
А сейчас я страдаю от своей груди, у меня нет возможности так просто купить утягивающий бюстгалтер (опять же, тут трудности перевода, постарался подобрать синоним) , поэтому когда я нуждаюсь в прогулке очень сильно, то мне приходится приложить много усилий для выхода на улицу. Я всегда надеваю 4 топика (лифчика? Я не знаю как написать так, чтобы гугл нормально перевел это на английский, надеюсь вы поняли), это успокаивает дисфорию, но мне сильно давит на спину резинками (как и на грудь, но спина болит сильнее), а ещё тяжело дышать. Я словно в тупике, мне нужно выбирать буду я задыхаться или находиться в странном состоянии, похожем на тревогу. Это когда покалывает пальцы, будто тебя видят голым, сразу нарушается ощущение своего тела из-за того, что грудь не перетянута, ты начинаешь её чувствовать и это давит на мозг, который воспринимает тело как более феминное...
Так, я написал слишком много всего, ещё и так беспорядочно. Надеюсь, этот комментарий кто-то прочтет, потому что я очень хотел поделиться
thank you
Basically my exact experience. Just sent it to my mom who is struggling with my transition.
nice shirt man
That zoo metaphor really helped me.
Thanks for sharing.
I have a twin brother and when I was growing up I just assumed we were the same. I knew he was a "boy" and I was a "girl" and our bodies were slightly different but it never really clicked that we weren't the same and then when I hit puberty and started growing boobs it was like wait this is wrong? And I remember when I got my first period and my mom told me I was a "woman" now and I felt like my life was over
phone anxiety... ah yes.
get that almost all the time... but mainly when i called lifeline a few months or something ago-
Exactly how I feel... wanting to rip my skin off.. and when I got my hair cut short into a males haircut, I cried because I was able to look in myself in the mirror, which I hadn't done in a very long time...
YO that skin metaphor is so me
Free yourself from the shackles of society... we are all born the way we should be, beautiful, don't let the system disease our minds. What a world this place would be if everyone could be what comes natural to them without any preconceptions!
As a gay guy I know how this feels. I can't walk through out life without being scared of what people think and I see a gay guy but I always say I'm not straight I'm not normal. Uhhh... But my Gardar as the kids call it. Goes off like crazy when I see someone hiding being trans, lesbian, or gay
when I look into Chase's eyes I see myself
i love you
I'm 13 I literally cried Becouse I felt exactly like what you sed
yes !!! yes this is me D: thank you