Vaginal sex just makes me so extremely uncomfortable and even though it technically feels good, it just feels so very wrong. Even digital penetration makes me nauseous... I thought I was just extremely insecure, but honestly I'm okay with sex, but I feel literally embarrassed for having a vagina...
Your explanation of dysphoria was so much better than the actual definition (feeling of general dissatisfaction) and I just.... IDK how to explain it, but I like the way you explain it better.
I have a thing called Alexithymia which is the inability to describe and label emotions. I have always been confused as to what it was I was feeling. What you described as dysphoria is EXACTLY what I feel. You have no idea how much this has helped me. I've known for awhile now that I was trans* but I have never been able to describe what this feeling was I had inside of me that was destroying me. Just to be able to put a name to a feeling means so much to me. It's something so simple and normal for others but it's something that strongly affects my life. THANK YOU! :') This could possibly be a life changing realisation :)
chase, im so grateful and happy that ur making a video about this topic and being so open about dysphoria and sharing your own experiences. im still very early in my transition and sometimes i have trouble explaining (even to myself) whats going on and watching your videos really help. im truly grateful for every single video you make, thank u~
I feel as though I have hesitated getting close to people because I worried I would encounter this. I have this pattern I get into where I try to avoid anything that might be difficult, and it's kept me from experiencing a lot of life. One of those things was relationships. I figured my dysphoria would be an obstacle in this regard, so I've never really been in this situation. It helps me to hear you talk about ways around it. Also, your voice cracked once because you were embarrassed, and it was really cute. But seriously, Chase, you're so helpful.
Your analogy of dysphoria is spot on for me- it's such a comfort to watch your videos and know I'm not the only one experiencing these issues! You rock
This middle of this was painful to watch. Not cause it was triggering or anything, but cause I love seeing you all happy and wild and you, and I could just feel what you were saying. I feel the same way yo. I have dodged way too many people who I generally wanted to sleep with but ultimately never have because of dysphoria.
I remember when you posted this, and at the time I was still questioning myself, but I was also not ready to think about sex and so the advice here went over my head. I'm 21 now, and having been on testosterone for just over a year, I am very grateful I found this video again. I appreciate your advise and hope that one day I can mourn my loss and finally move on. Thank you for being on youtube during such formative years of the internet and being one of the first ftm voices no doubt many of us came across.
I just found you video's yesterday an I've been watching these nonstop on my free time. I just got kicked out for being trans (ftm) and I was feeling bad for being this way, and I was doing research an found your bids. No I legit feel a lot better. And I feel more accepting of myself
I'm super glad I came across this video. My lower dysphoria started getting really bad after top surgery. I think we may be in the same boat about needing to mourn the Cis penis we will never have. But I don't think I can go the rest of my life without having phallo. You should check out Dr. Crane in San Francisco (who took over for Brownstein) sometime. His technique is interesting.
From what I've heard, Dr. Crane does the phaloplasty surgery like they are doing in Thailand and a few other countries. The surgeries he has performed have had more sensation then other doctors in the US and u can opt to do all the surgery at once rather than doing it in multiple stages. Also, his chest surgery requires no drains in most cases. Huge plus there because the drains were the worst part for me.
Thanks man. I could relate a lot to your experiences. Great to see how you have turned these experiences into stepping stones and can now provide support and encouragement to others. Great to see and Good luck:)
Can you make (or have you made) a video on tips for being a cis partner (m or f) to a ftm partner? Tips on how to be supportive / understand & talk to your partner about disphoria/sex/other issues? (I know this video covered some of this but I would love a deeper dive on the subject)
"And it feels A-MAZ-ING" ~Chase 2K14 My best friend and I have liked each other on and off for a while now, and at one point, when the topic of us dating some day came up, he asked me to have a S.H.A.R.E moment with him and talk about sex with an FTM. So, I explained it as best as I could, and then sent him a couple of links, which just so happened to be one of your videos. It's very helpful that you did this. Thank you.
Could you possibly make a video about your mourning. I understand if you don't, but it would really help. I've been doing a lot of talking with people and thinking, I've found that I have the same problem as you. So I was hoping that one day you could implode a video on tips, your Journey through driving, or how to grieve. I've looked everywhere there isn't anywhere that has information on this. I've been trying to work through this for a long time, and a little help would be greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one of your followers going through this. If their reading this then I want you to know your not alone. Anyway this is getting kinda long so I'll wrap it up. You've helped me with so much Chase, and probably even saved me from myself a few times, I just want you to know I'm greatful. If you or anyone else with a similar problem is reading this then I would love some help or at least a bit of guidance to get me on my way.
Thank you so much for this video!! It has made me feel so much more comfortable with myself!! As a transman, it's very difficult for me when it comes to sex, so this was very much helpful!
For me I guess it helps that I crush on trans men and I know that I don't see them as any less of men than any cis man. If I fantasize about someone I have a crush on whether they're trans or cis doesn't make any difference. I don't care if they've had surgery or if they have a lot of growth or what. I just want to do things we'd both be comfortable with and think are hot. Mostly I feel like I want to find out what those things are. I guess what I mean is, feeling like transguys are sexy and like their bits are sexy is probably a huge part of the reason I freak out more rarely anymore. That make sense?
I find your description of dysphoria as being in a cage and comparing what the ideal man is with what one sees in the mirror very helpful. First, based on what you have on tumbler, you are hotter than most guys! Moving on to my question: Does it help if one realizes that few guys fit the images that the ads and exhibitionists show? In other words, if you realize that you are as hot or hotter than most guys, can you start to compare yourself with the average guy rather than the "ideal" guy that most cis men cannot match?
The part about the cage being what dysphoria felt like made me start crying. That's exactly what it's like... My main issue as an FTM during sex is being penetrated. It causes me such awful dysphoria and I can't penetrate my partner which I know from past experience would really help. I have found nothing on how to alleviate the dysphoria while being penetrated because it makes me so aware of that caged feeling and that my body is not how I see it.
I have a question, but it is little more personal than I would like to share on a public forum. Is there another way for me to send you my question? Thanks very much
I can say that me and my girlfriend uses a harness-less Strap-on which is like a doulbe dildo and it works really great, it was really expencive so I might try the Peecock if I can afford it :33
if you don't have ovaries and anything female left then you have nothing in your body to replace the T so really i think you just stay the same i'm not sure how that would work
If you stop taking T, depending on which organs you still have, you will revert to a more feminine body. The fat will go back to the female patterns, hair will become thinner (but not go away), periods will come back, your voice will stay the same. Most likely you'll be categorized as a masculine woman i stead of a man. If you have no female organs left, you will need to stay on T for the rest of your life since you don't have any sexual hormones produced by your body.
![ฮักเทื่อสุดท้าย - บอย ศิริชัย [OFFICIAL MV]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/-1PoPoQ-B-k/mqdefault.jpg)
The cage and mirror analogy is incredibly apt. I have an image in my mind of how I look, and looking in a mirror and not seeing that is just awful.
Maybe it's cognitive dissonance as a result of denying reality
Vaginal sex just makes me so extremely uncomfortable and even though it technically feels good, it just feels so very wrong. Even digital penetration makes me nauseous...
I thought I was just extremely insecure, but honestly I'm okay with sex, but I feel literally embarrassed for having a vagina...
Your explanation of dysphoria was so much better than the actual definition (feeling of general dissatisfaction) and I just.... IDK how to explain it, but I like the way you explain it better.
I have a thing called Alexithymia which is the inability to describe and label emotions. I have always been confused as to what it was I was feeling. What you described as dysphoria is EXACTLY what I feel. You have no idea how much this has helped me. I've known for awhile now that I was trans* but I have never been able to describe what this feeling was I had inside of me that was destroying me. Just to be able to put a name to a feeling means so much to me. It's something so simple and normal for others but it's something that strongly affects my life. THANK YOU! :') This could possibly be a life changing realisation :)
chase, im so grateful and happy that ur making a video about this topic and being so open about dysphoria and sharing your own experiences. im still very early in my transition and sometimes i have trouble explaining (even to myself) whats going on and watching your videos really help. im truly grateful for every single video you make, thank u~
I hope your transitioning is going good. Also, beautiful profile picture. Lmao
I feel as though I have hesitated getting close to people because I worried I would encounter this. I have this pattern I get into where I try to avoid anything that might be difficult, and it's kept me from experiencing a lot of life. One of those things was relationships. I figured my dysphoria would be an obstacle in this regard, so I've never really been in this situation. It helps me to hear you talk about ways around it.
Also, your voice cracked once because you were embarrassed, and it was really cute. But seriously, Chase, you're so helpful.
Your analogy of dysphoria is spot on for me- it's such a comfort to watch your videos and know I'm not the only one experiencing these issues! You rock
This middle of this was painful to watch. Not cause it was triggering or anything, but cause I love seeing you all happy and wild and you, and I could just feel what you were saying. I feel the same way yo. I have dodged way too many people who I generally wanted to sleep with but ultimately never have because of dysphoria.
I remember when you posted this, and at the time I was still questioning myself, but I was also not ready to think about sex and so the advice here went over my head. I'm 21 now, and having been on testosterone for just over a year, I am very grateful I found this video again. I appreciate your advise and hope that one day I can mourn my loss and finally move on. Thank you for being on youtube during such formative years of the internet and being one of the first ftm voices no doubt many of us came across.
I just found you video's yesterday an I've been watching these nonstop on my free time.
I just got kicked out for being trans (ftm) and I was feeling bad for being this way, and I was doing research an found your bids.
No I legit feel a lot better. And I feel more accepting of myself
The description of Dysphoria is just the greatest thing! It's true 100 %!!! it's insane! I couldn't be able to explain it THAT GOOD
You are awesome and thank you for being so vulnerable and real here.
Chase, Thank you so much for what you do. You have helped my understand and help my transgender son. Keep it up! Love you.
Thank you sososososo much for bringing up the peacock!
I don't have dysphoria with sex for the moment but your describing if dysphoria in general is just.. That's a great explanation! Thank you! (:
thank you so much for making this video. it's really important to me
I'm super glad I came across this video. My lower dysphoria started getting really bad after top surgery. I think we may be in the same boat about needing to mourn the Cis penis we will never have. But I don't think I can go the rest of my life without having phallo. You should check out Dr. Crane in San Francisco (who took over for Brownstein) sometime. His technique is interesting.
I've heard so much about Dr Crane from so many different places around the interenet. I'm curious though why he is recomended so often?
From what I've heard, Dr. Crane does the phaloplasty surgery like they are doing in Thailand and a few other countries. The surgeries he has performed have had more sensation then other doctors in the US and u can opt to do all the surgery at once rather than doing it in multiple stages. Also, his chest surgery requires no drains in most cases. Huge plus there because the drains were the worst part for me.
FindingLevi I wasn't even aware no drains was an option O__O
That description of dysphoria was perfect.
Thanks man. I could relate a lot to your experiences. Great to see how you have turned these experiences into stepping stones and can now provide support and encouragement to others. Great to see and Good luck:)
I’m here in 2023 haha. This has helped me a a lot I’m grateful for you.
Can you make (or have you made) a video on tips for being a cis partner (m or f) to a ftm partner? Tips on how to be supportive / understand & talk to your partner about disphoria/sex/other issues?
(I know this video covered some of this but I would love a deeper dive on the subject)
"And it feels A-MAZ-ING" ~Chase 2K14
My best friend and I have liked each other on and off for a while now, and at one point, when the topic of us dating some day came up, he asked me to have a S.H.A.R.E moment with him and talk about sex with an FTM. So, I explained it as best as I could, and then sent him a couple of links, which just so happened to be one of your videos. It's very helpful that you did this. Thank you.
You just made me want to buy a peecock. You're better than an ad, lol.
Thanks for the video too. Some good tips! :)
I am a gay male and I would totally date a FTM trans.
(...)
thank you
That is so cute
is it weird I'm jumping back and forth between this and supernatural right now
My relationship with Dean is... normal.
I can really relate to the cage-feeling... especially today for some reason... it feels like I´m so stuck in my own body and I can´t get out...
Could you possibly make a video about your mourning. I understand if you don't, but it would really help. I've been doing a lot of talking with people and thinking, I've found that I have the same problem as you. So I was hoping that one day you could implode a video on tips, your Journey through driving, or how to grieve. I've looked everywhere there isn't anywhere that has information on this. I've been trying to work through this for a long time, and a little help would be greatly appreciated. I'm sure I'm not the only one of your followers going through this. If their reading this then I want you to know your not alone. Anyway this is getting kinda long so I'll wrap it up. You've helped me with so much Chase, and probably even saved me from myself a few times, I just want you to know I'm greatful. If you or anyone else with a similar problem is reading this then I would love some help or at least a bit of guidance to get me on my way.
Thank you so much for this video!! It has made me feel so much more comfortable with myself!! As a transman, it's very difficult for me when it comes to sex, so this was very much helpful!
thank you so much for this, Chase.
For me I guess it helps that I crush on trans men and I know that I don't see them as any less of men than any cis man. If I fantasize about someone I have a crush on whether they're trans or cis doesn't make any difference. I don't care if they've had surgery or if they have a lot of growth or what. I just want to do things we'd both be comfortable with and think are hot. Mostly I feel like I want to find out what those things are. I guess what I mean is, feeling like transguys are sexy and like their bits are sexy is probably a huge part of the reason I freak out more rarely anymore. That make sense?
So what about a persian trans man 12 years post op
That's a great description of dysphoria!
Oh my god, you're amazing. Thanks for this!
I find your description of dysphoria as being in a cage and comparing what the ideal man is with what one sees in the mirror very helpful. First, based on what you have on tumbler, you are hotter than most guys!
Moving on to my question: Does it help if one realizes that few guys fit the images that the ads and exhibitionists show? In other words, if you realize that you are as hot or hotter than most guys, can you start to compare yourself with the average guy rather than the "ideal" guy that most cis men cannot match?
Not to be awkward in the comments but ‘my body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love’
Thank you for making this video. I can relate to the analogy you used about looking out of the cage.
Could you make a video on Topping for transmen that are gay?
Yr hair looks so ~seapunk~, this video was so great!
Thank you for the video Chase, there aren't many videos on the subject
This is how I feel in the inside.
Thanks for sharing
The part about the cage being what dysphoria felt like made me start crying. That's exactly what it's like...
My main issue as an FTM during sex is being penetrated. It causes me such awful dysphoria and I can't penetrate my partner which I know from past experience would really help. I have found nothing on how to alleviate the dysphoria while being penetrated because it makes me so aware of that caged feeling and that my body is not how I see it.
love your videos chase! good vibes to you from the south shore of montreal :)
At 4.18 when you start talking about explaining dysphoria it sounds like youre making a super important slam poet, like holy shit
How do you know if it is disphoria or you being triggerd cause of ptsd when you have both?
Genuin answers wellcome. Thank you.
I have a question, but it is little more personal than I would like to share on a public forum. Is there another way for me to send you my question?
Thanks very much
you can message me on tumblr (chaseross.tumblr.com) or email uppercasechase@gmail.com
My grief will never end.
Great video. Really hit home.
Great analogy about dysphoria.
I literally got to this video from a Tumblr about transguys
*B L E S S*
What you said reminds me of the song My body is a cage by Arcade Fire..
thank you so much for sharing. you are amazing.
4:20 - 5:10 you hit that shit head on.
Thank you Chase I have bad bottom dysphoria.
I can say that me and my girlfriend uses a harness-less Strap-on which is like a doulbe dildo and it works really great, it was really expencive so I might try the Peecock if I can afford it :33
I suffer dysphoria sometimes worse than others.... But where do u go to meet dates who are cool with FTMs?
i relate to this video so much i feel you😰
I want the peacock 3 in 1 soo bad
Very informative
I am planning to change..i have dysporia with woman ..i feel a shit hate myself in the moìirror frustrated
I feel bad cause I keep getting dysphoric while getting y’a know…. And then gotta stop
thank you chase!
Do you need a harness for the peacock?
What would you tell if you wanted to be a women as you see much more women and the body matters more for women
Did you have surgery on your face?
I think I just might get that X3 thanks for the video c(=
What is the peacock called?
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
dude you rock!
Wow, some complicated shit here!!!
Should you take T shots like forever? or you can stop taking it after 2 or 3 years?
You have to take T for the rest of your life or you'll start to detransition.
Maxximillian Fitz thats not entirely true, your Estrogen comes back but ur voice will stay the same.
You won't "detransition" fully, like some things will stay like said above, your voice stays.
if you don't have ovaries and anything female left then you have nothing in your body to replace the T so really i think you just stay the same i'm not sure how that would work
If you stop taking T, depending on which organs you still have, you will revert to a more feminine body. The fat will go back to the female patterns, hair will become thinner (but not go away), periods will come back, your voice will stay the same. Most likely you'll be categorized as a masculine woman i stead of a man. If you have no female organs left, you will need to stay on T for the rest of your life since you don't have any sexual hormones produced by your body.
You're sooo freaking handsome :D
More like yrs
thank you I love you
I am going to do all surgeries when in 18 yuk not for me being naked with a v......
i . love . you .