Good Job to the Fairy and the Fairy team ! You have created à community full of healing and love where poeple elevate each other and have a safe space to do so. Feels really good thanks. Cheers to everybody !
Thank you for this video, Anna! 1. No longer see black and white, but see the grey. The variable. Especially in self and others. 2. A natural desire to care for your body. 3. Eating becomes regulated. 4. Less binging on distractions, media, tech, etc. 5. No longer tempted to hide the truth. More comfortable being more honest in your life, release those who can't accept your honest self. 6. Work life begins to get better. More engaged with career, more aware of what you need. 7. Lose interest in assigning blame to self/others for problems, focus more on finding solutions. Allowing imperfection. 8. Attraction to unavailable partners will decrease. Recognizing your worth and honoring it in your choices. 9. Prefer reality to fantasy. Connection in the here and now. 10. Material well being. Live within your means, and release the fear of your past around finances. Handle hard days and move through. Not sabotaging self in ways that create shame.
I’ve been trying to “heal” my anxious attachment for going on 3 years now. The problem was, the focus wasn’t me and my trauma, it was how do I heal so that someone can love me? Always outside of myself. Finally beginning to feel free. Finding yourself, Tim Fletcher, codependents anonymously and my therapist has helped me to turn an actual page. Thank you.
Speak Fairy! I got so sick of replaying the trauma in my head and retraumatizing myself that I finally said out loud, “I’m done reliving those childhood years. I’m an adult with tools and I’m creating a new story.
I just started another course of therapy, realised actually aside from a few aspects of people pleasing I’m pretty much healed of my past traumas and thankful because I’m so bored, sick and tired of replaying the same old story in my head. It feels strange to be in a place of focusing on here and now issues rather than going over the same old ground feeling like a perpetual victim 😇 (I truly feel like a survivor!) ❤
Anna, I do not say this lightly, nor do I ever comment on TH-cam videos, but you have saved my life. A little over 2 months ago, I was broken up with by a partner who I now realize was simultaneously emotionally unavailable + abusive (and I am a classic codependent), and I had to move out into my first apartment alone (a rough feat on its own). My mother sent me one of your videos, and they have been a godsend to me ever since. I miss my ex to this day (still have bouts of panic over him being gone), but I see my issues and patterns now. I'm learning to cope. I'm learning to love myself, and be comfortable being alone in my apartment...each day is room for learning because of you. Thank you for what you do. THANK YOU.
@Carlotta, you made my day today. Congratulations on finding your safety, and your freedom! Thank you for shining your light here for all the others in our community!
I’m in the same boat .. my boyfriend broke up with me also .. completely out of the blue .. try my mind has had a difficult time letting go .. he still wants to be friends.. I still talk & text with him. Ugh !
@@annmarietoney4133 it’s hard to heal when you still have feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you and you don’t take the time away that you need to get over the the romantic bond and then be friends (if you still want to). Put yourself first.
My only weak point in my recovery is not letting people in and isolating at times . Probably the toughest thing to break since I've been through so much....
ok this is obvious to me because I am on the outside, but even saying that, I hear you being mad at yourself. Don't be. It's ok. Whatever, you feel, is ok. You want to isolate, isolate, when you don't want to isolate, don't isolate. But don't berate yourself. If it helps, healthy people, people with strong boundaries, don't let everyone in either, and they do isolate, when they feel like crap. It's just not that obvious because it doesn't happen for long periods, and someone usually kicks them out of it, someone in their support system, sibling, parent, friend. Give yourself a break.
@@ebbyc1817 thank you for writing that, it makes me feel so much better, because I have the same weak point as the original commenter. Thank you, you are so lovely and kind💚
I got sober 23 years ago. It took me nearly 2 years before my central nervous system was restored. I feel the same way about time away from the narc. The longer I'm away, the healthier I feel. Although I need to speak with him throughout the divorce, it's no comparison to the mind-game I lived through for the last 10 years.
For me, the sign I've noticed that I'm getting better is.... I can feel love. I can feel it from other people. I believe them when they say they love me. I'm not perfect , I still struggle but I know that I'm healing ❤️
Your comment hit me hard, I’m 56 and I’ve never felt loved. I don’t know why and I don’t know how to feel it 🤷🏼♀️ I know my mom loved me but I didn’t feel it, I have kids so I know the love for your children. She had her own life of trauma and did the best she could, she told me she loved me, she did what she could for me but for some reason I don’t know how to feel loved. When I hear someone say, “s/he loves me”, my mind automatically thinks, “how do you know, are you sure, you’re gonna get hurt”…… It seems over confident to me to think someone loves you……. I’m so messed up 😏 I wish you all the best in healing and a life full of truly being loved and feeling loved ….Blessings
@@rnupnorthbrrrsm6123 I've been doing lots of inner child work to have reached this stage. I was adopted so really struggled with genuinely feeling loved. One of the exercises my therapist took me through made me look back at my childhood through my "parent" eyes. My parents loved me how they could. Another exercise my therapist makes me do is visualise me as an adult going back and loving me as a child. Picking me up out of the crib and soothing the baby me. Pulling the six yr old me out of the wardrobe I was hiding in and convincing her that she was safe. I don't know , I literally had a crappy childhood. Once I managed to love all the "little" parts of me , i just noticed one day when I seen my mum it just all clicked and after that I can just see it. The people who love us show it in all kinds of ways , ways we might not see. Have you checked out what love languages are? That might help you and I highly recommend getting therapy, even if you had a good childhood and no trauma. You never know what you might need to unpack ❤️
I’m still working so hard to overcome my CPTSD. I have noticed that I don’t want to look at my phone as much and I have been more truthful with God, my wife, and therapist. So I’m healing 😊
I went from being fearful avoidant to securely attached. It is possible to heal. I focus on reprogramming my unconscious beliefs and understanding my childhood trauma. I am grateful for the clarity, time and energy I have gained. I am a healthier person who makes healthier choices. I am committed to healing and growing for the rest of the time I have. It’s a process/journey to heal trauma not a goal to accomplish. I wish I would have done the hard work sooner but at least I finally tried. No regrets.
@@7one11 well, I am still healing but a lot of my work was done through the professional development school. The online school focuses on reprogramming unconscious beliefs to build better habits and behavior. Because of PDS I have learned how to identity emotions and why that emotion exists. Yes, I know that’s pretty basic but it wasn’t anything I was ever taught. Also, I learned to communicate in healthier ways. Hope that helps ❤️
100%!! I used to be so focussed on the wounds of the past like picking at scabs - opening the wounds again and again. When I put my focus on something else and on healing things changed dramatically. My entire mind, body, spirit and soul are much lighter, free and happier for it. Blessings, hugs and love to you all.
“Healing makes faking stop working.” Beautiful line. Being your true, authentic self, is being able to still be nice to someone when they’re not being nice to you. When you radiate that kind of strength, you transform their negativity.
The best advice I heard was "Crap fitting". That was what I did all my life. Once I understood that, it became easier NOT to continue. Being single was entirely different too. I am enjpying my single, no dating life. Taking care of me becane my focus. And its helped so much. Giving myself permission to let go of others opinions of me and watching what people do insteaf of believing their words. Wow. Thanks for your videos.
your comment just reminded me of this thought I had the other day....that the scary thing about 'crap fitting' is how unconscious it is, all the millions of ways, you don't even realise that you are 'making do'. You think you're tolerating, being nice, being adaptable,....but you're actually crap fitting, under a different name. I can't stop myself from doing it, all the time, but at least I know when I am, and I can consciously make that choice, like, ok I'm crap fitting now, and I know I am.
Your ability to explain my dysfunctional behaviour is extraordinary. It is amazing, like you know the truth of my whole life, without even knowing me. Your work has made me realise how every choice I’ve made in my life has been the result of trauma thinking. 😢
I can’t begin to tell you how timely this message is. You are surely doing the Lord’s work. EVERYTHING you talk about speaks to me. I can’t thank you enough for sharing this part of yourself with the world. People like you are necessary for people like me to see and connect to. You’re amazing! 😊
As someone who has been to therapy, worked on myself and still puting effort into maintaining it and no-longer needing therapy I agree that all of these are true and amazing. I know it can be hard to imagine some of these things when you are in a dark place but I will say the weight that is lifted off of your shoulders and developing real connections with people, being more present and setting healthy boudaries with people are all amazing. Your life quality can be greatly improved, it's awaiting you. To all the strangers I'll never meet who are struggling, I belive in you even if you dont.
I find it very difficult to articulate my thoughts into words when it comes to my CPTSD and your videos SAVED me! I am actually so alone and didn't know how much CPTSD affects every part of life. I don't know how to write this very well but basically thank you for being you and sharing that with everyone. I quit smoking after watching your video on using nicotine as a regulation method. You have helped me so much I just cannot thank you enough for these videos
A note to you, Fairy Queen: you are an exceptional human being. My trauma was complex - a mom I loved and who loved me who was out there bi-polar. Love in my family for sure, but inevitable neglect from mom while my dad tapdanced as fast as he could to keep things normal for us kids while he ran a surgical dept. The "love yourself" messaging that is so prevalent never resonated for me because I WAS loved. But abandoned nonetheless, a loss of my wonderful mom to mental illness. Hard for a little empath girl. The way you break things down is very, very powerful. I have been on a healing path for many years. You help me leapfrog forward. Thank you for your service to us. Invaluable. Deep, deep gratitude from the bottom of my heart.
I was bullied badly in school growing up, I'm in my 50s now, but so thankful for you and sharing here. I realized as an adult I tend to look for situations where I can feel bullied because it was expected, but now recognize I should focus on building self healing and starting to see some of these healing signs. Its good progress!
This is all VERY good news for me, Anna, and thank you for delineating the behavioral changes that show healing. I seem to have most of them: not spiraling into anger at news or opinions I don't like; accepting the complexity and imperfection that we all are; forgiving myself and others (all at the same time!) for our trespasses; losing my attraction to extreme viewpoints; caring for myself more gently, in terms of nutrition, exertion, and recreation; and maybe biggest, speaking both more openly and judiciously (building boundaries) to appropriate people about who I really am; building my new life after my beloved mate's death. I've decided I want to find my own community (old growth forest advocacy, permaculture, etc.), before I look around much for a new mate. I want to bring more to the table. Still wrestling with limerence but I'm being forgiving with myself about that too, while staying the F! away from "Mr. Limerence," as my beloved friend calls him. Thank you for everything you do.
I love this video! It is refreshing to find this encouraging material that doesn't focus on the trauma. Letting go of those behaviors that make me feel ashamed was such an essential step in my journey. I have noticed the cycle of self-punishment after I feel ashamed. Shame kills that part in you that wants to change.
I'm so happy I found this video. I was feeling lost in my own healing process, but this just means i'm truly healing and owning the most authentic version of myself :)
Thanks for the excellent video. Just what I needed. I’m actually doing okay, but still need to do some work, especially in #8 and 9 - a work in progress as you say! 1. Don’t see everything in black or white terms. 2. Want to care for your body. 3. Eat healthier 4. Not binging on tv and other screens 5. Being more honest about your feelings, etc. 6. Your work life will go better 7. Don’t play the blame game (self or others) 8. Not attracted to unavailable partners 9. Prefer reality to fantasy 10. Have more material wealth
Actually, #10 isn't about more material wealth but rather "Material well being. Live within your means, and release the fear of your past around finances. Handle hard days and move through. Not sabotaging self in ways that create shame."
Since watching your video's I have been able to identify my triggers and when I am becoming dis-regulated. I also have decided to join an Women's only A.A. meeting online I am super excited! I start this Friday and I pray that I won't guard myself or self protect by not engaging and just be a bystander.. I tend to do that a lot because I am afraid to be judged. for the last 5 years I have been using alcohol to "numb" myself from the memories but it also has caused more problems in my life with weight gain, sleep, depression, no energy, dehydration, poor work performance from calling out all the time because I am too hungover. Thank you for this channel has helped me more than anyone has!
Over the years, through self-diagnosis and countless articles and videos about self-development, I've healed my trauma to the point that I have to always constantly look for me and never let it go.
My therapist suggested I do a mind map so I drew one out and on it one of statements was, "actively look for signs (of incremental progress)." Anna, you may not realize how timely some of your videos are but these are so helpful! Thank you!
Yay! I've noticed all of these in myself since working with trauma. It feels like a self actualized feeling has come to my life. Everything is easier and even when I have bad days I can regulate my emotions to stop feeling bad about past or future. Thank you for sharing this
I love your channel so much. I come from deeply shitty childhood that stems way back to my mother's childhood trauma. She turned me into personal therapist from a young age and treated me as if i were her marriage partner from the age of 7. She had bipolar disorder, possibly schizophrenia and CPTSD. I'm 22 now, i finally moved away from her 8 to 9 months ago thanks to my Ex-boyfriend and i'm realizing the signs that i've been healing more even with the amount of stress i have now in my life and being 2 months away from being homeless. I'd rather be here and now in the moment than to be scratching her feet, legs and supporting her financially.
I’ve been actively working on healing for 5 years. From yoga and meditation to EFT and information about codependency. It’s not been easy at all but it’s worth every minute. I feel so lucky, blessed and grateful to have this chance I made for myself to live a life of love. 😊 peace, love, luck and perseverance to everyone here! ❤
Thank you so much Anna. For the last few days I’ve been criticizing myself thinking I haven’t come far enough. This video helped me realize I am going in the right direction. You’re a gift! 🙌🏾
it's so magical to realize how chaotic my life was some years ago and that i'm at a place of peace with myself and the past now, but the journey never ends
Thank you for your honesty. I’ve always had a hard time finding a therapist that would work for me because of this strong internal feeling that they don’t fully understand how hard my life was. Your stories made me realize you truly understand the struggle and make your advice that much easier to absorb. Thank you again for choosing to be vulnerable so that we can all take a step in the right direction.
Thank you Anna ❤️ please never stop helping us! We're making it together, Crappy Childhood Fairy Family! Love from Australia (nearly 4am here, can't sleep so catching up on some CCF vids) 🙂
Your timing couldn’t have been any more perfect. I’ve been on the road to healing for awhile now and you’ve just confirmed that I am moving in the right direction.
I've been part of this community for about 5 months now and I'm surprised to see that all the signs of healing apply to me. At first, I had just noticed this wave of positive feelings and small changes but now I must admit that I'm on the right path. Thanks for sharing. Regards
Thank you so much for making this video… This literally made me cry… I didn’t realize that I was making progress, or I guess just minimized this progress. I’ve made so much progress! I’m so grateful to have heard this and recognize I’m headed in a positive direction… I’ve hit almost evert one of these and while I still have a long way to go, I’m so grateful to hear someone say “this is good! Keep going!”
This makes my heart so happy to read. We're often so hard on ourselves that we can't see the progress... so glad you're able to see your growth and celebrate your progress. Sending you encouragement! - Ashley, Team Fairy
Great video. I feel like I still have a long way to go after watching this which is a bit overwhelming. But, at least my eyes are now open and I’m working hard on healing. Thank you Anna for your guidance and being a voice of reason, and helping so many people along their healing journeys! ❤
Thank you. The healing a little bit here and there notion helps. I've always felt like it was supposed to happen like getting over food poisoning. You're sick,, you barf you sleep and bam!! All better. Toxic positivity helped me feel a lot of guilt for not being instantly better just by thinking happy thoughts. I'm seeing a lot of healing from your description and counting each point of note as a win even though there is more healing to do. I don't think we credit the little wins enough.
I know. I'm lucky to have friends who are real. Hi, Bee. I once went out with a gal who seemed nice enough. On the 2nd date I found out that she was 7 years older than what she had written (to me) on her profile. "Everybody lies on the internet," she told me 10 years ago. When it slipped out that she wasn't really divorced I stopped her and - well - scolded her for lying to me and left. She wrote some E-mails and justified and begged, but I was happy to be rid of her. Who knows what else she'll lie to me about? No, lying isn't for me, either.
@@howardcohen6817 Hi Howard, exactly. Who knows what else these conniving, malicious people will say next. I'm always so shocked why the need for so many liars in this world of ours.
What has helped me is that I chose two people who were kind and demonstratively helpful to me during a particularly bad time in my past, we're talking 40 years ago, and sent them a present and a note thanking them. I asked God for this to be a purging of the pain of the past. So far, so good. It's like making lemonade out of lemons.
@@howardcohen6817 It was recent, because I remembered your name. I'm glad I didn't impart a bad memory. Have a great day and enjoy the wonderful future coming after the revelation of horrors. We live in an evil world. It may trigger some people with CPTSD. We win, though, always remember that. God bless.
This makes me so proud of myself. God and therapy helped me! I was in a dark place for YEARS with ups and downs. Finally though I have overcome it all and only live in the present. I am free
Your reminders come at a good time for me, personally, as I was just today questioning whether all of my work toward healing is worth it...will it ever land me with the inner peace I seek. Yes, we cannot know everything in store for us...yes, it is the journey, not the destination. Yet I am looking for signs that my progress is indeed on track. I find some connection with all 10 of these 'signs of healing'. This is very reassuring. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind delivery and motivating words. It's really hard at this time and it feels like the end of the tunnel is still at the same distance. So thank you for your comforting words.
All these "little" goodies are magical. Finding the right other people or new people to support you keeping up these little goodies is life changing 💖 CCF is absolutely right, every word.
My biggest point of noticing me healing my trauma is when I talk to my therapist and I told him my anxiety is my best friend because I was literally scared of reliving how I felt as a kid but now my anxiety shows me that I do have feelings I can understand my feelings and I can let that my feelings be I was too busy trying to control what my past did to me instead of understanding how it built me up
I've been feeling so discouraged with trying to heal from the cPTSD I just got diagnosed with and have had for the better part of 9 years. I've felt so tired, I can't see five feet ahead of me... you give me so much hope! I much prefer reality now and have lost interest in binging video games or tv. I am opening up and being truly honest with the people in my life about how i feel and what im struggling with, and im letting them support me. I'm listening to and want to care for my body. I'm rapidly losing interest in emotionally unavailable partners. I still struggle with black and white thinking and getting frustrated with myself but I am learning. You're right that speaking truth feels so good. I am healing. I can't thank you enough for the work you do!! ❤️
I was just feeling like my healing has made large real steps forward, so I started to ask myself if I really have, and then you post this video and it provides confirmation in spades that yes I am infact making (and have already made) STRIDES! Thank you so much for what you do.
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it and was feeling so overwhelmed with all that I am healing from, as CPTSD is only the beginning of all the things I am having to work through and with. I started feeling down because I am not sure I am making any progress and if I am truthful this leaves tears in my eyes. Then your video popped up in my feed and it provided so much clarity on what to look for in my recovery process; the positive signs. I hope I can overcome all that my childhood has produced in me and finally be able to live life with clarity of mind and heart. I wish all the blessing for you.
I’ve healed from 95% of my trauma. I don’t know how I did it but by the GRACE of god he gave me peace. The triggers don’t hurt no more. I do have to relive it sometimes but it don’t bother me no more.
Was really hoping that at least one of my recent habits is on the list. From the first one I felt like, ok...I'm doing ok. The more I heal, the more I realise I couldn't have had a healthy relationship before now. We think we attract unhealthy people to ourselves - anxious/avoidant, narcissist, whatever, but the truth is, we don't know how to be healthy ourselves....everything from splitting, thinking of people as good or bad, to thinking of ourselves as good or bad, unable to tolerate our negative emotions, projecting them or pushing them down... We THINK we know, the same way those people think THEY know. But the truth is, we don't, we really don't. But one really can't underestimate how hard work this is. It is a daily, every day, every minute thing, every choice, every non-choice. Everything.
This was so profound, I had to watch it three times to fully immerse myself in the information. This particular video is so helpful as progress is non linear. I continue to be amazed at how you synthesize and present your knowledge in the clearest ways possible. I am so grateful to you in general and for this video specifically for pointing where in the map I personally am, see both the progress and take credit for my change so far and see the challenges, pitfalls and opportunities. It’s great to see the progress in the “ work in progress”
Thank you for this video. I’ve been working on healing for a couple years now. Slowly working through my shadow and seeing places in my life where I need to make changes. One important place is exercise and eating better. You got the nail on the head with that. I think it is a natural occurs when that when you begin to heal you focus on body changes which stems from better self care.
Thank You SO MUCH! I needed this. badly. I am so grateful that I had you this morning. I feel like I am in a vicious cycle over and over again. Your video and wisdom have re-inspired me to get the heck up and break this horrible cycle I am in. I decided today. I am ready. Your words had profound influence on me after watching just 4 videos of you preaching the good ways to get back to good habits and feeling so much better. I always thought I had CPTSD. Now, I want to manage my life better and learn about myself to be better for myself. Thank You! In the near future I will be taking your course!
Thank you so much, Anna! I've been working on myself and watching your videos for a couple years now. In 2024, a lot of pieces have fallen into place, and I celebrate the fruits of my labor! I moved away from toxic individuals, drastically improved my health, found inner peace and attained stable housing. Woohoo 🎉❤
wow thank you for this! I've endured so much trauma in my life and I've been on a healing journey now for the past few years and I still feel "stuck" in some areas at times but even the trouble areas I see improvement on. Thank you
Hi! Thank you got sharing your hope and insight with the world!! Is chronic insomnia a symptom of CPTSD? I have trouble sleeping. I’m 52 and my childhood was laced with family violence, alcoholism, drug addiction, and infidelity (my parents’). My brother died of a cocaine overdose 1.5 years ago, but I’m still doing as much as possible to help myself. I’m getting there, but the inability to sleep is a huge issue. I’m in art therapy (do this! It’s amazing!), I sing in a choir, play drums in drumming circles and take pretty good care of myself. Better than I used to, anyway. I’m getting better, but still have a ways to go.
Oh my god, 9:15.. “Your attraction to unavailable partners will disappear”. This is so me! I’m so attracted to unavailable partners, and I’m currently trying to heal from being shattered by my last one. I don’t even know where to begin with healing!!
I guess I am healing, and perfectly imperfect human being. Thank you for sharing Anna, I am alone out here and wondering if ever I can just be happy & content with no disasters. But they happen, everyday, and break my heart and trust in humanity.
I can relate to all of this. Especially the black-and-white thinking turning gray, the acceptance of people as a mix of things… The twisting of truth, in my case to avoid judgment from those around me who were toxic people.… The only thing I still struggle with isAvoidance/longin for good relationships. I was also recently diagnosed with autism as an adultand often wondered how this impacted the trauma … Thank you for doing these videos your demeanor is very soothing and easy to accept the hard truth that you discuss.
You are incredible! Every word is gold. And yes, I'm experiecing all the signs of healing that you talk about. I also recovered from a breast cancer ! Thank you for all you do!❤️
I suffered from that for a long time and i just spoke out recently about the truth I tried to hide all my life/the past years and it felt very relieving speaking the truth. The thing that helped me was speaking the truth and even though it may never happen, it released something that was attached deep into my heart for such a long time. Speak your mind, especially if you are afraid of it because releasing this will give you such a good feeling that you never thought may happen. I forgive but i needed to get out the pain, I don't think that i am gonna be able to achieve what I just let out but that was nescesarry to heal myself. I will continuing improving myself and spread positivity but I wanted to show people that you need to get out the dark truth you always wanted to get out of there. Spoke what was on my mind and stood up for myself and i don't think there will be results but at least my lies doesn't consume me anymore and my fantasy world. Forgiving is the most important thing even though i maybe mispoke in my emotions but i don't want to look back in anger anymore. If this certain person/persons has nothing to do with that than they can ignore that because nothing will happen anyway and i will truly forgive them, forget this thing and will get over it but this was just nescessarry. That was on my mind for such a long time.
Oh wow, thanks for listing these, Anna! Maybe I've made more progress than I realized 😅 The 'spell' has finally broken in my attachment to unavailable people--if they're not interested in me, I lose interest. (Amazing! Instead of getting more deeply hooked.) But I had to laugh because I saw where I still want to grow too. Still love my carbs and sugar! Half a plate of beautiful crispy oily potatoes gives me the same relaxation that alcohol might for others. (In Ireland right now, so a little doomed. 🥔) Potato chips do it too--help me switch off my brain, breathe deeper, and feel wrapped in comfort. I want to find non-food ways to get this same effect though. And I decided the other day to go sugar-free for a year. I've done it before, and whewf what a way to feel everything. Gotta make sure I strengthen my self-regulating tools! I also still need to grow in the screens thing--I def look at my phone too much. And lastly I still think I prefer fantasy to reality haha....even though my reality is ok right now. Daydreaming kid right here! On the positives, yes, my material world is coming together. I'm 34 and can't quite afford a 1 bedroom apt for myself yet but I'm starting my first nursing job soon and I'm hoping in a year to provide that for myself. Little victories that feel huge for us cptsd people ^.^ Looking forward to reading about everyone else's triumphs too!
I like this video..I can't change things that were done to me but I believe in me that I can change my future..I stop holding the past over my life and started planting positive seeds to a healthy future..I thrive on effort to have a positive attitude and one is how I treat others as I treat myself..
Yes taking care of myself now. Flossing morning and evening. Small shifts are happening. Small portions are in place. When I mess up I do it again. I am not heal yet but I am healing. Taking action and the support I am getting. Like this nice video that I am watching. I am paying attention to this insight.
Sounds like you're on the right path -- taking small steps, and giving yourself grace when days aren't perfect leads to healing. Cheers and encouragement to continued healing. We're with you. - Ashley, Team Fairy
I keep thinking I am not likable. I study how to be a calm , level-headed ,caring person because I wanted to be better, but I still feel I put a lot of people off. That hurts.
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Good Job to the Fairy and the Fairy team !
You have created à community full of healing and love where poeple elevate each other and have a safe space to do so.
Feels really good thanks.
Cheers to everybody !
Thank you for being part of it :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for this video, Anna!
1. No longer see black and white, but see the grey. The variable. Especially in self and others.
2. A natural desire to care for your body.
3. Eating becomes regulated.
4. Less binging on distractions, media, tech, etc.
5. No longer tempted to hide the truth. More comfortable being more honest in your life, release those who can't accept your honest self.
6. Work life begins to get better. More engaged with career, more aware of what you need.
7. Lose interest in assigning blame to self/others for problems, focus more on finding solutions. Allowing imperfection.
8. Attraction to unavailable partners will decrease. Recognizing your worth and honoring it in your choices.
9. Prefer reality to fantasy. Connection in the here and now.
10. Material well being. Live within your means, and release the fear of your past around finances. Handle hard days and move through. Not sabotaging self in ways that create shame.
Excellent outline, thank you
Yes. I am walking in that path.
Such a good video! 4 years on and also a wee bit depressing with progress happening with only 2 things on this list! Thanku❤️
Courtney, thank you so much!
Thanks so much for this breakdown. Excellent takeaways.
I try to focus less on being a "victim" and more on being a "survivor".. It works wonders on my well being!!
I’ve been trying to “heal” my anxious attachment for going on 3 years now. The problem was, the focus wasn’t me and my trauma, it was how do I heal so that someone can love me? Always outside of myself. Finally beginning to feel free. Finding yourself, Tim Fletcher, codependents anonymously and my therapist has helped me to turn an actual page. Thank you.
Keep it up your doing great! your self insight is a big
part of it. You deserve ❤️ too
Glad your getting there,yayyyy🙏🏼🌈🐻
Great insight!
Tim Fletcher is a gem!!
God bless u hon. U got this!
Speak Fairy! I got so sick of replaying the trauma in my head and retraumatizing myself that I finally said out loud, “I’m done reliving those childhood years. I’m an adult with tools and I’m creating a new story.
Go Girl !
I literally just told myself the same thing!! 🙌🏾🥰 you’ve got this! So proud of you
Congrats! ❤️🎉❤
@@Lulu-gg2zq o
I just started another course of therapy, realised actually aside from a few aspects of people pleasing I’m pretty much healed of my past traumas and thankful because I’m so bored, sick and tired of replaying the same old story in my head. It feels strange to be in a place of focusing on here and now issues rather than going over the same old ground feeling like a perpetual victim 😇 (I truly feel like a survivor!) ❤
Anna, I do not say this lightly, nor do I ever comment on TH-cam videos, but you have saved my life. A little over 2 months ago, I was broken up with by a partner who I now realize was simultaneously emotionally unavailable + abusive (and I am a classic codependent), and I had to move out into my first apartment alone (a rough feat on its own). My mother sent me one of your videos, and they have been a godsend to me ever since. I miss my ex to this day (still have bouts of panic over him being gone), but I see my issues and patterns now. I'm learning to cope. I'm learning to love myself, and be comfortable being alone in my apartment...each day is room for learning because of you. Thank you for what you do. THANK YOU.
@Carlotta, you made my day today. Congratulations on finding your safety, and your freedom! Thank you for shining your light here for all the others in our community!
I’m in the same boat .. my boyfriend broke up with me also .. completely out of the blue .. try my mind has had a difficult time letting go .. he still wants to be friends.. I still talk & text with him. Ugh !
@@annmarietoney4133 It's better to go no contact once you are no longer together. You can't begin to heal if you hang on to the past.
🙏🙏♥️🙏🙏🙏
@@annmarietoney4133 it’s hard to heal when you still have feelings for someone who doesn’t feel the same about you and you don’t take the time away that you need to get over the the romantic bond and then be friends (if you still want to).
Put yourself first.
My only weak point in my recovery is not letting people in and isolating at times . Probably the toughest thing to break since I've been through so much....
Right. I didn’t even know i was doing this. Till there was no one around
ok this is obvious to me because I am on the outside, but even saying that, I hear you being mad at yourself. Don't be.
It's ok. Whatever, you feel, is ok. You want to isolate, isolate, when you don't want to isolate, don't isolate. But don't berate yourself.
If it helps, healthy people, people with strong boundaries, don't let everyone in either, and they do isolate, when they feel like crap. It's just not that obvious because it doesn't happen for long periods, and someone usually kicks them out of it, someone in their support system, sibling, parent, friend.
Give yourself a break.
same here 👋🏼
@@ebbyc1817 thank you for writing that, it makes me feel so much better, because I have the same weak point as the original commenter. Thank you, you are so lovely and kind💚
I got sober 23 years ago. It took me nearly 2 years before my central nervous system was restored. I feel the same way about time away from the narc. The longer I'm away, the healthier I feel. Although I need to speak with him throughout the divorce, it's no comparison to the mind-game I lived through for the last 10 years.
Congratulations on sobriety and freedom!
-Cara@TeamFairy
For me, the sign I've noticed that I'm getting better is....
I can feel love. I can feel it from other people. I believe them when they say they love me.
I'm not perfect , I still struggle but I know that I'm healing ❤️
Amazing! -Calista@TeamFairy
Your comment hit me hard, I’m 56 and I’ve never felt loved. I don’t know why and I don’t know how to feel it 🤷🏼♀️ I know my mom loved me but I didn’t feel it, I have kids so I know the love for your children. She had her own life of trauma and did the best she could, she told me she loved me, she did what she could for me but for some reason I don’t know how to feel loved.
When I hear someone say, “s/he loves me”, my mind automatically thinks, “how do you know, are you sure, you’re gonna get hurt”……
It seems over confident to me to think someone loves you……. I’m so messed up 😏
I wish you all the best in healing and a life full of truly being loved and feeling loved ….Blessings
@@rnupnorthbrrrsm6123 I've been doing lots of inner child work to have reached this stage. I was adopted so really struggled with genuinely feeling loved. One of the exercises my therapist took me through made me look back at my childhood through my "parent" eyes. My parents loved me how they could. Another exercise my therapist makes me do is visualise me as an adult going back and loving me as a child. Picking me up out of the crib and soothing the baby me. Pulling the six yr old me out of the wardrobe I was hiding in and convincing her that she was safe. I don't know , I literally had a crappy childhood. Once I managed to love all the "little" parts of me , i just noticed one day when I seen my mum it just all clicked and after that I can just see it. The people who love us show it in all kinds of ways , ways we might not see. Have you checked out what love languages are? That might help you and I highly recommend getting therapy, even if you had a good childhood and no trauma. You never know what you might need to unpack ❤️
I’m still working so hard to overcome my CPTSD. I have noticed that I don’t want to look at my phone as much and I have been more truthful with God, my wife, and therapist. So I’m healing 😊
I went from being fearful avoidant to securely attached. It is possible to heal.
I focus on reprogramming my unconscious beliefs and understanding my childhood trauma.
I am grateful for the clarity, time and energy I have gained. I am a healthier person who makes healthier choices. I am committed to healing and growing for the rest of the time I have. It’s a process/journey to heal trauma not a goal to accomplish.
I wish I would have done the hard work sooner but at least I finally tried.
No regrets.
securely attached as in, in a loving relationship with someone who is your equal, and who you depend on and depends on you... ?
This is goals.
how did you heal?
@@7one11 well, I am still healing but a lot of my work was done through the professional development school. The online school focuses on reprogramming unconscious beliefs to build better habits and behavior. Because of PDS I have learned how to identity emotions and why that emotion exists. Yes, I know that’s pretty basic but it wasn’t anything I was ever taught. Also, I learned to communicate in healthier ways.
Hope that helps ❤️
100%!! I used to be so focussed on the wounds of the past like picking at scabs - opening the wounds again and again. When I put my focus on something else and on healing things changed dramatically. My entire mind, body, spirit and soul are much lighter, free and happier for it. Blessings, hugs and love to you all.
“Healing makes faking stop working.” Beautiful line. Being your true, authentic self, is being able to still be nice to someone when they’re not being nice to you. When you radiate that kind of strength, you transform their negativity.
The best advice I heard was "Crap fitting". That was what I did all my life. Once I understood that, it became easier NOT to continue. Being single was entirely different too. I am enjpying my single, no dating life. Taking care of me becane my focus. And its helped so much. Giving myself permission to let go of others opinions of me and watching what people do insteaf of believing their words. Wow. Thanks for your videos.
your comment just reminded me of this thought I had the other day....that the scary thing about 'crap fitting' is how unconscious it is, all the millions of ways, you don't even realise that you are 'making do'. You think you're tolerating, being nice, being adaptable,....but you're actually crap fitting, under a different name.
I can't stop myself from doing it, all the time, but at least I know when I am, and I can consciously make that choice, like, ok I'm crap fitting now, and I know I am.
Your ability to explain my dysfunctional behaviour is extraordinary. It is amazing, like you know the truth of my whole life, without even knowing me. Your work has made me realise how every choice I’ve made in my life has been the result of trauma thinking. 😢
That kind of progress is so exciting!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I can’t begin to tell you how timely this message is. You are surely doing the Lord’s work. EVERYTHING you talk about speaks to me. I can’t thank you enough for sharing this part of yourself with the world. People like you are necessary for people like me to see and connect to. You’re amazing! 😊
Thank YOU for watching and supporting. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy
As someone who has been to therapy, worked on myself and still puting effort into maintaining it and no-longer needing therapy I agree that all of these are true and amazing. I know it can be hard to imagine some of these things when you are in a dark place but I will say the weight that is lifted off of your shoulders and developing real connections with people, being more present and setting healthy boudaries with people are all amazing.
Your life quality can be greatly improved, it's awaiting you. To all the strangers I'll never meet who are struggling, I belive in you even if you dont.
Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy
I find it very difficult to articulate my thoughts into words when it comes to my CPTSD and your videos SAVED me! I am actually so alone and didn't know how much CPTSD affects every part of life. I don't know how to write this very well but basically thank you for being you and sharing that with everyone. I quit smoking after watching your video on using nicotine as a regulation method. You have helped me so much I just cannot thank you enough for these videos
Beautiful and inspiring post, thank you!
-Cara@TeamFairy
A note to you, Fairy Queen: you are an exceptional human being. My trauma was complex - a mom I loved and who loved me who was out there bi-polar. Love in my family for sure, but inevitable neglect from mom while my dad tapdanced as fast as he could to keep things normal for us kids while he ran a surgical dept. The "love yourself" messaging that is so prevalent never resonated for me because I WAS loved. But abandoned nonetheless, a loss of my wonderful mom to mental illness. Hard for a little empath girl. The way you break things down is very, very powerful. I have been on a healing path for many years. You help me leapfrog forward. Thank you for your service to us. Invaluable. Deep, deep gratitude from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
For me the sign of healing is that i can feel all my emotions. I feel extremely blessed
I was bullied badly in school growing up, I'm in my 50s now, but so thankful for you and sharing here. I realized as an adult I tend to look for situations where I can feel bullied because it was expected, but now recognize I should focus on building self healing and starting to see some of these healing signs. Its good progress!
It’s a journey. Every time I think I’m done something else comes up, but there is a lot of progress, and you have helped a lot, thank you! ☺️
I've also lost 29 pounds and still counting because I go to Weight Watchers every week...It's an excellent feeling of accomplishment!!
This is all VERY good news for me, Anna, and thank you for delineating the behavioral changes that show healing. I seem to have most of them: not spiraling into anger at news or opinions I don't like; accepting the complexity and imperfection that we all are; forgiving myself and others (all at the same time!) for our trespasses; losing my attraction to extreme viewpoints; caring for myself more gently, in terms of nutrition, exertion, and recreation; and maybe biggest, speaking both more openly and judiciously (building boundaries) to appropriate people about who I really am; building my new life after my beloved mate's death. I've decided I want to find my own community (old growth forest advocacy, permaculture, etc.), before I look around much for a new mate. I want to bring more to the table. Still wrestling with limerence but I'm being forgiving with myself about that too, while staying the F! away from "Mr. Limerence," as my beloved friend calls him. Thank you for everything you do.
Ha, ha, ha a very joyful comment, biondna. keep it up; we're rooting for you.
@@howardcohen6817 Thank you, most kind!
I love this video! It is refreshing to find this encouraging material that doesn't focus on the trauma. Letting go of those behaviors that make me feel ashamed was such an essential step in my journey. I have noticed the cycle of self-punishment after I feel ashamed. Shame kills that part in you that wants to change.
I'm so happy I found this video. I was feeling lost in my own healing process, but this just means i'm truly healing and owning the most authentic version of myself :)
I'm so glad you saw some accomplishments :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
I’ve realized one of the cheapest and easiest ways to navigate CPTSD is allowing yourself to feel and be safe
Thanks for the excellent video. Just what I needed. I’m actually doing okay, but still need to do some work, especially in #8 and 9 - a work in progress as you say!
1. Don’t see everything in black or white terms.
2. Want to care for your body.
3. Eat healthier
4. Not binging on tv and other screens
5. Being more honest about your feelings, etc.
6. Your work life will go better
7. Don’t play the blame game (self or others)
8. Not attracted to unavailable partners
9. Prefer reality to fantasy
10. Have more material wealth
Sending you encouragement as you continue to work on yourself. (And thank you for this helpful video outline.) - Ashley, Team Fairy
Actually, #10 isn't about more material wealth but rather "Material well being. Live within your means, and release the fear of your past around finances. Handle hard days and move through. Not sabotaging self in ways that create shame."
Since watching your video's I have been able to identify my triggers and when I am becoming dis-regulated. I also have decided to join an Women's only A.A. meeting online I am super excited! I start this Friday and I pray that I won't guard myself or self protect by not engaging and just be a bystander.. I tend to do that a lot because I am afraid to be judged. for the last 5 years I have been using alcohol to "numb" myself from the memories but it also has caused more problems in my life with weight gain, sleep, depression, no energy, dehydration, poor work performance from calling out all the time because I am too hungover. Thank you for this channel has helped me more than anyone has!
Wow, what a beautiful and massive step forward! I send my love!
Over the years, through self-diagnosis and countless articles and videos about self-development, I've healed my trauma to the point that I have to always constantly look for me and never let it go.
My therapist suggested I do a mind map so I drew one out and on it one of statements was, "actively look for signs (of incremental progress)." Anna, you may not realize how timely some of your videos are but these are so helpful! Thank you!
The part where you say ' the spell gets broken' somehow gave me a goosebump moment.
Yay! I've noticed all of these in myself since working with trauma. It feels like a self actualized feeling has come to my life. Everything is easier and even when I have bad days I can regulate my emotions to stop feeling bad about past or future. Thank you for sharing this
Happy to hear you've been able to regulate your emotions with more ease. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy
I love your channel so much. I come from deeply shitty childhood that stems way back to my mother's childhood trauma. She turned me into personal therapist from a young age and treated me as if i were her marriage partner from the age of 7. She had bipolar disorder, possibly schizophrenia and CPTSD. I'm 22 now, i finally moved away from her 8 to 9 months ago thanks to my Ex-boyfriend and i'm realizing the signs that i've been healing more even with the amount of stress i have now in my life and being 2 months away from being homeless. I'd rather be here and now in the moment than to be scratching her feet, legs and supporting her financially.
I’ve been actively working on healing for 5 years. From yoga and meditation to EFT and information about codependency.
It’s not been easy at all but it’s worth every minute.
I feel so lucky, blessed and grateful to have this chance I made for myself to live a life of love.
😊 peace, love, luck and perseverance to everyone here! ❤
Have only recently (6 months and I’m 61y) felt freedom from trauma with some unorthodox healing practices
If it worked and you're healthy, more power to you. Love.
Thank you so much Anna. For the last few days I’ve been criticizing myself thinking I haven’t come far enough. This video helped me realize I am going in the right direction. You’re a gift! 🙌🏾
it's so magical to realize how chaotic my life was some years ago and that i'm at a place of peace with myself and the past now, but the journey never ends
Thank you for your honesty. I’ve always had a hard time finding a therapist that would work for me because of this strong internal feeling that they don’t fully understand how hard my life was. Your stories made me realize you truly understand the struggle and make your advice that much easier to absorb. Thank you again for choosing to be vulnerable so that we can all take a step in the right direction.
That must be hard. But we are glad you have found Anna's video's so helpful. Sending you encouragement. Jack@TeamFairy
Thank you Anna ❤️ please never stop helping us! We're making it together, Crappy Childhood Fairy Family! Love from Australia (nearly 4am here, can't sleep so catching up on some CCF vids) 🙂
I am FREE!! I love your videos and appreciate all of your help! Thank you Anna! 🌸🌸🌸
Say it Loud, Kandice!! Congratulations!
Me too! I know how that feels🤩
Your timing couldn’t have been any more perfect. I’ve been on the road to healing for awhile now and you’ve just confirmed that I am moving in the right direction.
You can do it!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I've been part of this community for about 5 months now and I'm surprised to see that all the signs of healing apply to me. At first, I had just noticed this wave of positive feelings and small changes but now I must admit that I'm on the right path. Thanks for sharing. Regards
Thank you so much for making this video… This literally made me cry… I didn’t realize that I was making progress, or I guess just minimized this progress. I’ve made so much progress! I’m so grateful to have heard this and recognize I’m headed in a positive direction… I’ve hit almost evert one of these and while I still have a long way to go, I’m so grateful to hear someone say “this is good! Keep going!”
This makes my heart so happy to read. We're often so hard on ourselves that we can't see the progress... so glad you're able to see your growth and celebrate your progress. Sending you encouragement! - Ashley, Team Fairy
Amen 🙏!!! Everyone is a 5 year old. Think 💭 of everyone as a 5 year old we are. 🙏🌻❤️🥰💭💭
Great video. I feel like I still have a long way to go after watching this which is a bit overwhelming. But, at least my eyes are now open and I’m working hard on healing. Thank you Anna for your guidance and being a voice of reason, and helping so many people along their healing journeys! ❤
Sending you encouragement as you take steps forward in your healing - Ashley, Team Fairy
9:18 OMG i know i sound wild but just hearing that brought a mustard seed of hope. Oh dear God, please and thank you. ❤
Thank you. The healing a little bit here and there notion helps. I've always felt like it was supposed to happen like getting over food poisoning. You're sick,, you barf you sleep and bam!! All better. Toxic positivity helped me feel a lot of guilt for not being instantly better just by thinking happy thoughts.
I'm seeing a lot of healing from your description and counting each point of note as a win even though there is more healing to do.
I don't think we credit the little wins enough.
I've been trying to heal for many years and then I get triggered by liars. I am so down lately. I love this video.
I know. I'm lucky to have friends who are real. Hi, Bee.
I once went out with a gal who seemed nice enough. On the 2nd date I found out that she was 7 years older than what she had written (to me) on her profile. "Everybody lies on the internet," she told me 10 years ago. When it slipped out that she wasn't really divorced I stopped her and - well - scolded her for lying to me and left. She wrote some E-mails and justified and begged, but I was happy to be rid of her. Who knows what else she'll lie to me about? No, lying isn't for me, either.
@@howardcohen6817 Hi Howard, exactly. Who knows what else these conniving, malicious people will say next.
I'm always so shocked why the need for so many liars in this world of ours.
I"m so glad you're feeling helped!
-Cara@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy That's why I never miss a video.
What has helped me is that I chose two people who were kind and demonstratively helpful to me during a particularly bad time in my past, we're talking 40 years ago, and sent them a present and a note thanking them. I asked God for this to be a purging of the pain of the past. So far, so good. It's like making lemonade out of lemons.
That's a good one - lemonade out of lemons!
@@howardcohen6817 Hiya, Howie. How're you doing today? We met before here in some comment section. I hope I wasn't rude.
@@firetopman Yeah, well, I hope I wasn't rude back! Sorry, I don't remember, so don't sweat it. How long ago was it?
@@howardcohen6817 It was recent, because I remembered your name. I'm glad I didn't impart a bad memory. Have a great day and enjoy the wonderful future coming after the revelation of horrors. We live in an evil world. It may trigger some people with CPTSD. We win, though, always remember that. God bless.
This makes me so proud of myself. God and therapy helped me! I was in a dark place for YEARS with ups and downs. Finally though I have overcome it all and only live in the present. I am free
Your reminders come at a good time for me, personally, as I was just today questioning whether all of my work toward healing is worth it...will it ever land me with the inner peace I seek. Yes, we cannot know everything in store for us...yes, it is the journey, not the destination. Yet I am looking for signs that my progress is indeed on track. I find some connection with all 10 of these 'signs of healing'. This is very reassuring. Thank you.
Glad you're finding reassurance. Sending you encouragement. - Ashley, Team Fairy
Working on my codependency has really been a game changer for me. Thanks Anna
Wonderful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Thank you for your kind delivery and motivating words. It's really hard at this time and it feels like the end of the tunnel is still at the same distance. So thank you for your comforting words.
You are so welcome
Thank you Anna! I’m more healed than I realized! What a great revelation! Thanks for the continued hope this brings me…
thank you, were cheering for you. Jack@teamfairy
These videos are important for when I'm feeling down. But look how far I've come. Thank you.
All these "little" goodies are magical. Finding the right other people or new people to support you keeping up these little goodies is life changing 💖 CCF is absolutely right, every word.
I am more than my trauma! Thank you!
Yes you are :)
-Cara@TeamFairy
My biggest point of noticing me healing my trauma is when I talk to my therapist and I told him my anxiety is my best friend because I was literally scared of reliving how I felt as a kid but now my anxiety shows me that I do have feelings I can understand my feelings and I can let that my feelings be I was too busy trying to control what my past did to me instead of understanding how it built me up
I've been feeling so discouraged with trying to heal from the cPTSD I just got diagnosed with and have had for the better part of 9 years. I've felt so tired, I can't see five feet ahead of me... you give me so much hope! I much prefer reality now and have lost interest in binging video games or tv. I am opening up and being truly honest with the people in my life about how i feel and what im struggling with, and im letting them support me. I'm listening to and want to care for my body. I'm rapidly losing interest in emotionally unavailable partners. I still struggle with black and white thinking and getting frustrated with myself but I am learning. You're right that speaking truth feels so good. I am healing. I can't thank you enough for the work you do!! ❤️
You are doing a great work! We're all rooting for you!
Nika@TeamFairy
Really enjoyed the positive focus of this video. You ooze encouragement!
I was just feeling like my healing has made large real steps forward, so I started to ask myself if I really have, and then you post this video and it provides confirmation in spades that yes I am infact making (and have already made) STRIDES! Thank you so much for what you do.
Thank you so much for this video. I really needed it and was feeling so overwhelmed with all that I am healing from, as CPTSD is only the beginning of all the things I am having to work through and with. I started feeling down because I am not sure I am making any progress and if I am truthful this leaves tears in my eyes. Then your video popped up in my feed and it provided so much clarity on what to look for in my recovery process; the positive signs. I hope I can overcome all that my childhood has produced in me and finally be able to live life with clarity of mind and heart. I wish all the blessing for you.
You are very relatable. Someone who understands. Thanks for being real!
Insightfull...thanking you. 10:43 10:45
Thanks for watching and taking the time to comment! -Calista@TeamFairy
I’ve healed from 95% of my trauma. I don’t know how I did it but by the GRACE of god he gave me peace. The triggers don’t hurt no more. I do have to relive it sometimes but it don’t bother me no more.
Was really hoping that at least one of my recent habits is on the list. From the first one I felt like, ok...I'm doing ok.
The more I heal, the more I realise I couldn't have had a healthy relationship before now. We think we attract unhealthy people to ourselves - anxious/avoidant, narcissist, whatever, but the truth is, we don't know how to be healthy ourselves....everything from splitting, thinking of people as good or bad, to thinking of ourselves as good or bad, unable to tolerate our negative emotions, projecting them or pushing them down... We THINK we know, the same way those people think THEY know. But the truth is, we don't, we really don't.
But one really can't underestimate how hard work this is. It is a daily, every day, every minute thing, every choice, every non-choice. Everything.
This was so profound, I had to watch it three times to fully immerse myself in the information. This particular video is so helpful as progress is non linear. I continue to be amazed at how you synthesize and present your knowledge in the clearest ways possible. I am so grateful to you in general and for this video specifically for pointing where in the map I personally am, see both the progress and take credit for my change so far and see the challenges, pitfalls and opportunities. It’s great to see the progress in the “ work in progress”
Thank you for your kinds words! So glad the video was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you for this video. I’ve been working on healing for a couple years now. Slowly working through my shadow and seeing places in my life where I need to make changes. One important place is exercise and eating better. You got the nail on the head with that. I think it is a natural occurs when that when you begin to heal you focus on body changes which stems from better self care.
Thank you for posting about this!! More people need to write about what it’s like on the other side ❤ I’m so excited
A refreshing lack of rumination! Great work!
Mold toxicity can be a pretty big player in addictions & various trauma based behavior also.
Thank You SO MUCH! I needed this. badly. I am so grateful that I had you this morning. I feel like I am in a vicious cycle over and over again. Your video and wisdom have re-inspired me to get the heck up and break this horrible cycle I am in. I decided today. I am ready. Your words had profound influence on me after watching just 4 videos of you preaching the good ways to get back to good habits and feeling so much better. I always thought I had CPTSD. Now, I want to manage my life better and learn about myself to be better for myself. Thank You! In the near future I will be taking your course!
You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you so much, Anna! I've been working on myself and watching your videos for a couple years now. In 2024, a lot of pieces have fallen into place, and I celebrate the fruits of my labor! I moved away from toxic individuals, drastically improved my health, found inner peace and attained stable housing. Woohoo 🎉❤
Yay! It’s so good to hear success stories like this! Great job!
Nika@TeamFairy
This was perfect timing. So much rang true with my current path. What a relief! Thank you for this video!
Glad it was helpful!
-Cara@TeamFairy
wow thank you for this! I've endured so much trauma in my life and I've been on a healing journey now for the past few years and I still feel "stuck" in some areas at times but even the trouble areas I see improvement on. Thank you
That's amazing to hear! We're rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hi! Thank you got sharing your hope and insight with the world!! Is chronic insomnia a symptom of CPTSD? I have trouble sleeping. I’m 52 and my childhood was laced with family violence, alcoholism, drug addiction, and infidelity (my parents’). My brother died of a cocaine overdose 1.5 years ago, but I’m still doing as much as possible to help myself. I’m getting there, but the inability to sleep is a huge issue. I’m in art therapy (do this! It’s amazing!), I sing in a choir, play drums in drumming circles and take pretty good care of myself. Better than I used to, anyway. I’m getting better, but still have a ways to go.
Many people in the CCF community have difficulties with sleep- regulation is really important for rest!
-Cara@TeamFairy
I am the only person who can make change happen 👊 So want to heal 🙏
Oh my god, 9:15.. “Your attraction to unavailable partners will disappear”. This is so me! I’m so attracted to unavailable partners, and I’m currently trying to heal from being shattered by my last one. I don’t even know where to begin with healing!!
Sending you encouragement! -Calista@TeamFairy
I am glad to know that I am on my way to healing! 💪 ❤
Yay!
Nika@TeamFairy
I guess I am healing, and perfectly imperfect human being.
Thank you for sharing Anna, I am alone out here and wondering if ever I can just be happy & content with no disasters.
But they happen, everyday, and break my heart and trust in humanity.
I am healing. I am living seven of these, yey.
I’m totally getting there! Great vid.
I can relate to all of this. Especially the black-and-white thinking turning gray, the acceptance of people as a mix of things… The twisting of truth, in my case to avoid judgment from those around me who were toxic people.… The only thing I still struggle with isAvoidance/longin for good relationships. I was also recently diagnosed with autism as an adultand often wondered how this impacted the trauma … Thank you for doing these videos your demeanor is very soothing and easy to accept the hard truth that you discuss.
You are incredible! Every word is gold. And yes, I'm experiecing all the signs of healing that you talk about. I also recovered from a breast cancer !
Thank you for all you do!❤️
I suffered from that for a long time and i just spoke out recently about the truth I tried to hide all my life/the past years
and it felt very relieving speaking the truth. The thing that helped me was speaking the truth
and even though it may never happen, it released something that was attached deep into my heart for such a long time.
Speak your mind, especially if you are afraid of it because releasing this will give you such a good feeling that you never thought may happen.
I forgive but i needed to get out the pain, I don't think that i am gonna be able to achieve what I just let out but
that was nescesarry to heal myself. I will continuing improving myself and spread positivity but I wanted to show people
that you need to get out the dark truth you always wanted to get out of there.
Spoke what was on my mind and stood up for myself and i don't think there will be results but at least
my lies doesn't consume me anymore and my fantasy world.
Forgiving is the most important thing even though i maybe mispoke in my emotions but i don't want to look back in anger anymore.
If this certain person/persons has nothing to do with that than they can ignore that because nothing will happen anyway
and i will truly forgive them, forget this thing and will get over it but this was just nescessarry.
That was on my mind for such a long time.
Oh wow, thanks for listing these, Anna! Maybe I've made more progress than I realized 😅 The 'spell' has finally broken in my attachment to unavailable people--if they're not interested in me, I lose interest. (Amazing! Instead of getting more deeply hooked.) But I had to laugh because I saw where I still want to grow too. Still love my carbs and sugar! Half a plate of beautiful crispy oily potatoes gives me the same relaxation that alcohol might for others. (In Ireland right now, so a little doomed. 🥔) Potato chips do it too--help me switch off my brain, breathe deeper, and feel wrapped in comfort. I want to find non-food ways to get this same effect though. And I decided the other day to go sugar-free for a year. I've done it before, and whewf what a way to feel everything. Gotta make sure I strengthen my self-regulating tools!
I also still need to grow in the screens thing--I def look at my phone too much. And lastly I still think I prefer fantasy to reality haha....even though my reality is ok right now. Daydreaming kid right here!
On the positives, yes, my material world is coming together. I'm 34 and can't quite afford a 1 bedroom apt for myself yet but I'm starting my first nursing job soon and I'm hoping in a year to provide that for myself. Little victories that feel huge for us cptsd people ^.^ Looking forward to reading about everyone else's triumphs too!
I’ve never had a diagnosis but this really fits. Up until very recently I was retraumatizing myself and this offered so much clarity!!! Thank you
I have decided to focus more on m'y future. I am healing and Moving forward
I swear living where it’s cold in the winter I get more depressed, anxious with my childhood ptsd 😢
You're fantastic, Anna! I share your videos all the time! Thank you!
Thank you for being a part of our community here and for sharing! We appreciate it!
Nika@TeamFairy
Thank You.🌹🌹🌹
I see where I am now in this Healing process😊
Its been a journey.🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
You're so welcome!
Nika@TeamFairy
You must be the answer to my prayers… thank God for you 🤍
Glad you found the Channel!
-Cara@TeamFairy
Wow thanks, I really needed this. It's good to know I'm on the right track, even though it's such a loonnnng journey, little by little, we can heal
I like this video..I can't change things that were done to me but I believe in me that I can change my future..I stop holding the past over my life and started planting positive seeds to a healthy future..I thrive on effort to have a positive attitude and one is how I treat others as I treat myself..
Thanks for sharing! Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Holy moly! This is just what I needed today! And tomorrow! Thank you Anna for saying all the right things ☀️
Yes taking care of myself now. Flossing morning and evening. Small shifts are happening. Small portions are in place. When I mess up I do it again. I am not heal yet but I am healing. Taking action and the support I am getting. Like this nice video that I am watching. I am paying attention to this insight.
Sounds like you're on the right path -- taking small steps, and giving yourself grace when days aren't perfect leads to healing. Cheers and encouragement to continued healing. We're with you. - Ashley, Team Fairy
Your videos are helping to confirm that I’m moving in the right direction now.
TY for sharing that Transitioning through trauma is truley transformative in so many positive ways ~ Healing is possible 💙
I keep thinking I am not likable. I study how to be a calm , level-headed ,caring person because I wanted to be better, but I still feel I put a lot of people off. That hurts.