That is so true . Just the right amount of humility. He’s the only one I listen to. Very genuine and not pretentious. Understand the uniqueness of people’s struggle.
This may sound crazy, but a few months back I found my mood, that had always been a bit of a struggle, took a really dark turn. I literally felt like I was being sucked into a black hole and was at the verge of sobbing several times daily. I started reading every thing I could about it and decided to try a magnesium supplement, to my great surprise not only does magnesium lift my mood but it has regulated my blood pressure which has been medically very high since I was 18 yo, currently 56, you might want to check it out. There are several different kinds, I take either glycinate or L-Threonate both work for me, it does make me very ready for a nap so I take them in the evening now. Good luck going forward. It a tough journey, don’t give up, find what works for you. (A little background, I’ve had years of extreme pain that I refused to take meds for because the med system would gaslight me and I wanted a diagnosis not a numbing and I wanted to be taken seriously, turns out after twelve years gluten was causing Interstitial cystitis, holes in my bladder, I used to pray to die, then when I finally got better and was able to go to work CoVid struck and left me with a laundry list of new ongoing serious med stuff from a damaged heart to lung nodules)
I can totally relate. That's all I'm doing, is getting through. This last depression is a year and a half and counting. I kept thinking that I'd come out of it at any time. Nope. Not coming out of this one. I can get to the bare essentials, but I should be getting ready for a move, that is at some point inevitable. I feel like life is coming for me. The extras I can't get to, they will catch up and I'm going to be really screwed.
73. Started walking every day for 20 minutes now I’m up to almost an hour. It really helped my heart now the doctor don’t want to see me for a whole year. I can’t walk very good but but I do it and I really enjoy it. it’s something I look forward to now every day.
Congratulations! I can’t walk and I’m 56 (arthritis) but I’ve been weed eating even if I have to do it 5 minutes at a time and then take a 15 minute break and do 5 more minutes. I’m already feeling better and proud of myself bc before I used to love to hike and walk and felt like my life was over bc I can’t physically do much. But I can do something, even if just for 5 minutes at a time. I listen to these videos while I’m weed eating with ear buds. It helps! I also just bought a bike and I’m going to try that. Thanks for the inspiration ❤
I'm 53 and have turned over every stone battling depression since age 18. FINALLY your relatable stories give me the ladder I need to climb out of the pit for good. Thank you so very much for transmuting your own pain into the gift you give us with each video to help us break out of these heavy chains and create lives worth living. You've completely changed my life and I am so grateful. 🙌
Same here, 53 yr old man been battling major depression/anxiety since 1986…this video ALONE gives me more help then the last 35+ yrs of searching ❤ His book is so heavy I’m still only half way through after six months, have to keep rereading same sections until they stick👍🏽
I'm 52 and also relate. Hitting the 50-year mark and realizing that nearly all of life's major milestones have eluded me was especially hard. Even though I know that I could *theoretically* still achieve some of them, I struggle to even want them anymore, and I sense that even if I got them now, it would feel hollow and pointless. I spent my 30s & 40s hoping my train would finally get on track, fumbling unsuccessfully to make it happen, and limping toward the next futile attempt. Now I just tread water, slipping under a little more every day. Nonetheless, Dr. Scott's videos are comforting.
@@drakescott 52 here also. The realisation that we have well crossed the middle age mark and are heading into older age is sobering. I was / still am the type to think about what could happen in the future but not quite manage to make it happen. Then you realise time is running out and the dreams are slipping away and that hope cannot sustain you so much anymore.
@@universaltruth2025Your last observation is so true. Like the earlier commenter, @Swami89, I'm only a little into Dr. Scott's book; he seems so sure that our old selves are still in there somewhere, but I'm just not sure I'm capable of recapturing the hope the old me still had. I mean, the old me had relative youth and a sense there was still time to get it together, but after 50, that seems mostly unrealistic. And today it hit me that I've struggled so long, so relentlessly, daily, that it's not only all I really know, but far less intimidating than change. Nowadays, I just kind of... linger there.
@@drakescott yes I think we get really used to feeling a certain way. Maybe for someone in their 60s and beyond they would look back on their 50s and think it was still young. As we look back on our 30s & 40s. So we should probably keep that in mind. I think our true essence does remain but as far as things like career dreams and financial goals they don’t seem so certain! I think my way of coping with that is to find joy in achieving smaller goals, like simply getting more self discipline over my life and habits. I think I have adhd so even making improvements in that area I find quite rewarding.
I've had major depression all of my life. I've never really made friends easily and what I have they've been fair weather friends at best. I'm 47 and I have none.I'm disabled due to complex trauma and it's rainbow of fun things. I've always struggled with overwhelm with tasks.socialization I can do in spurts. But I don't get friends from it. I have no joy and am either in my chair or in my bed most days. I manage to keep my kitchen and bathroom somewhat presentable. I shower less . I wake up and I don't know why I need to be awake. I don't see a future. Everything is dull .I'm watching a ton of TH-cam and scrolling through Facebook a lot. I have a therapist but none of them around here really help . They listen and tell me to think. More positive. I try but it's hard when I'm stuck in my head and I'm either dead inside or extremely sad . Wish I could only fake being happy for so long before it looks odd to somebody.. I get so starved for human contact that when I do get to talk to somebody I just start to ramble like well just like this here. What makes people really uncomfortable but I can't help myself sometimes. Embarrassing. I try to chat with people online but I don't have anything to talk about because I don't have anything going on. So they just drop off. My kids don't talk to me very often. So I'm just here with two cats . I'm barely human some days .
I have felt the same way! I won’t go into all my problems, but for me to feel somewhat normal, I have to take my meds and go to therapy. I know those 2 things don’t always help, but it’s a start. When I feel better I try and get out and walk. I’m also disabled by a disease. I have to use a walker or cane. Last year I was spiraling last year. I’m trying to get it together this year. Just baby steps at this point. Just start 1 thing and then add on. Pills and therapy are not for everyone, I get it. For me right now it’s necessary! 🙏
Me too darling. 2 kids, very selfish and computer obsessed. I have endless chores and housework. I have 1 friend and 1 sister with an acquired brain injury. I’m useful and practical, people are nice to me when they want or need something fixed. I used to do art everyday even when working full time. Since marriage 25 years ago I do nothing but work. Chores housework and house repairs. It took me 25 years to walk away from the marriage and had finished repairing my old house. I bought a dump I’m trying to make a home. I give myself 1 more year to fix this dump then I’m doing art everyday. Even if it 10 minutes. Maybe you could do 10 minutes early in the day? Something for you and just you?
I swear, every video of yours is like better than the last one. I am currently feeling lost in life and depressed. I thought I was a 0 and nobody cared about me. Turns out according to this scale I am a 2. * I * care about ME. In a good way, lol. And that gave me hope. I am proud to say I successfully integrated brushing ny teeth every night in my schedule and I *stick* to it! (As embarrassing as it is to admit that on TH-cam) What I am currently fighting with myself to integrate is going for a daily 30 minute walk. I LOVE walking. I feel fantastic when I do it. I specifically said fighting with myself, because I have this fixed notion that walking only happens early in the morning, and some days when I see that Noon hits the clock, my brain is like: Ohhh, seems like we have to miss walking today. It’s too late for that! And I have to be like: “Shut up, brain! We ARE walking!” Sigh. It’s probably silly, but that’s the struggle. 😅 Thank you for your work! It was a fantastic presentation for just one take!
@vanessaprincesssa I have had exactly this same thing about walking early.. but mine was 11am. It’s still a problem, but I’m amazed when I do go that there’s almost no difference and sometimes I’ve actually gotten some things done in the morning that I need so the walk feels even better then. But I still struggle with that. Also in an overall sense I tend to set unreasonable goals for myself
To help myself go on a walk I use the weather as my guide. If it’s under 82 or 83 I can go anytime of day. That gives me until the sun goes down to get my shoes on and go. It’s worked so far. 🐝🦋🪲
I struggle too about walking as I see it as a chore. Sometimes I walk very late at night for 10 minutes. Please try to tell yourself that its ok to walk later than noon.
Watching Dr. Scott’s video on Passive SI was eye opening for me. Didn’t SOLVE anything in and of itself, mind you, but gave me some validation and maybe a little hope.
Just a fellow depressed person here but I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I like to say nothing stays the same, not even the misery. I hope you find some peace soon ❤️
He talks really slowly. I have this at double speed and it’s still too slow. For me, it’s really hard to follow when things when it takes too long to get to the damn point.
The fact that you are even tuning in … is the main thing. Keep going… some days you can listen to more … there’s others … not so. Keep chipping away at it. 😊
16:28 spend 20-30 minutes a day… something to give you more time and energy, like exercise or meditation. Gives more time because you’re more efficient the rest of the time. Then make it a habit every day. 20:48 start another thing after you’ve established first habit, like sleep hygiene or eat better Around 27:00 self care taking care of yourself. 31:20 do one thing and do it consistently. Around 27:00 sort of explains different levels if self care. You keep on adding and your value compounds. Earlier… spend 20-30 minutes a day doing something that gives you more energy, like EXERCISE… also gives you more time because your thought process is more efficient the rest of the day. Once you add the one consistent daily habit and it’s solidly a habit, then add or focus another thing. Around 38:00 invasive species of plants can rob native plants of resources like water and nutrients and they might be pretty but can take over. Do you have any invasive species that are invisibly robbing everything else in your life? Like gaming…
@@Mgt44411 I’m really glad they were helpful! I have really severe ADHD and was having a difficult time with his presentation but I did find a lot of good takeaways, especially the last concept of an “invasive species” robbing you of life. If other people have insights or make changes based on the video, I’m very curious to know. Please let me know! Thanks.
@tnijoo5109 I, too, found the invasive species example helpful, robbing resources ... I'm working on being more active. Dr. Scott's story from another video about celebrating the simple fact that I sat up is helping. Today I am celebrating that I actually went for a walk ☀️ I wish you well on your journey!
I was at level zero for many years. I'm 67 and currently between levels one and two. I also live in my head with perfectionism and cognitive distortions. My imperfections were focused on by my late mother, which gave me an inferiority complex.
I’m a burnt out health care worker. But, I still need to work. I just got a new part time job. I hope I like it. My last job sent me to the ER for super high/stroke like BP. My BP ok now……….but need to see cardiologist. I will be 63 next month. 😢. Made it this far with life long depression . Working out keeps me alive. And my doggie 🐶
I’m 46. Trying to make a new life. Ignoring this pervasive feeling that it’s too late for me. Mourning a past full of bad decisions and dreams that will never come true. Nobody understands me. Completely alone. No friends. No love life. Starting with nothing now. Hoping to get where you are.
I am in the same place, a lot. And when I hear of friends my age that have died, I just panic. It's like oh shit! I better get at the things I really want to do.
I’m 43 and starting to feel this. No lovelife as I have no motivation I feel like I had enough amount of heartaches , I mean a lot of heartache and very traumatic decisions. I’m coming to terms that this will be my life.
I feel this in my bones. I don't have any magic advice to give you, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling that way. My mental health struggles have robbed me of so much opportunity that my life feels like a monument to wasted potential. I'm old enough to start really getting anxious about what I haven't achieved in life that I wanted to, and about things I really wanted to do that are now out of reach due to age and health. It's disconcerting, but all I can do right now is take one day at a time. I'm in treatment for my issues, and all I can do right now is get through the day and hope for a better future, although sometimes it seems impossible.
Fantastic presentation! My struggles have placed me on a dark path, but they have also allowed me to hold up a lantern for those who follow. By helping others, I’ve learned to embrace difficult times rather than sink into isolation. My losses and suffering have deeply enriched my medical career, making me a more compassionate caregiver. It's essential that we put aside shame and the belief that we’re alone in our pain, and instead, speak out.
Dreams died. Don’t know where to aim anymore. There’s chores to do all the time - things I have to do to care for myself and a few dependents. Actually have a good living situation. The next 50 years feels like a life sentence, not a life. Hopes deferred makes a heart sick.
I hear you After Covid I began spending too much time watching YT videos, just like this one Today I realize that is leading me to depression and unhappiness Now I have cut back on YT and try to spend more time out in the world ; the beach, shopping, looking for another car, etc - and I feel happier
The worst misery for me is knowing how full of potential I am and not being able to actualize it. So much time had been wasted it feels like I just let life pass me by and now I’m stuck like a dear in the headlights ruminating about all the trauma that I think has caused this condition. It just feels like if someone could just grab me out of the muck, put me on the right path and give a a swift kick in the ass my motor would turn over and off I would go.
I’m exactly the same. Even “going for a walk” can never really be an automatic action for women in particular as it is instilled in us to be hypervigilant. So I end up just not leaving the house.
Scott I have never heard a therapist so accurately describe the burnout and the difficulty finding real solutions to it. Same as what you’re saying. When I came home from managing our Wellness Center I didn’t have any energy left for my own wellness much less my husband or child or cultivating friendships with other people. I had no energy for myself. Everyone told me don’t work as hard. I was like really then how about others in my life doing more or me caring less about promoting and managing our business. How do I do that without tanking our business? When I realized others were only willing to do what was in their comfort level and I started to care less the business started slowing down. Anyway all this too say I appreciate you taking the time to do your videos. I e been in counseling for 45 years and this is the first time I felt sa therapist personally understood this struggle. Thank you
“The thing you love the most in your life, might be ruining your life.” Wowzer. It’s using up my time, energy & resources to improve my mental state etc. Thought provoking. Thanks 🙏🏻
This life and how it just shits on me over and over and over and over. Hard work has amounted to nothing, being a good person has amounted to nothing, everything is a lie.
Walking is so good - I use to walk every day but I’m going through a depressive phase and my physical health hasn’t been great either, I’m suffering from financial grief after selling my house prematurely and not having enough money to afford another home since everything skyrocketed 2 months after I sold, single parent on a disability pension so the future looks grim for me financially- I do have a God faith but things are tricky there too at the moment- I guess after 53 years of struggling with depression and anxiety- you start to wonder if it’s all worth it, life feels like a continuous uphill battle- I honestly feel this is possibly the lowest I’ve been in a long time. Listening to Scott’s video is definitely bringing me some comfort 🙏❤🙏
Dr. Scott, firstly, I need and want to tell you how much I appreciate your time put into your work here on this channel. I am so grateful to you for helping me (and all the subscribers) through a very dark time in my life. The first video I watched was the one on active and passive suicidal ideation. I related to that so much. Now I have a (self) diagnosis of passive SI. I, of course, thought that I was the only one who had these type of thoughts. Knowing I'm not a solitary creature in this gave me so much hope, enough hope that I was able to handle life until I saw my new therapist. I was without one for 6 to 8 months and my issues during that time built up and built up until I was almost completely overwhelmed and wiped out. As a matter of fact, I have had this therapist's name and number for several months and couldn't bring myself to call and ask if she would take me on as a client. It wasn't until I listened to some of your videos that I was able to call her and, yes, she did take me as a client. I honestly believe that finding you on TH-cam was a God thing because I wasn't looking for anything along the lines of therapy. Probably I was looking for a video on horse training or plants. But there you were at the top of my feed! I would like nothing more than to have you as my therapist. Honestly. I do believe, however, that my new therapist will work out fine, though. I seemed to connect with her even during my very brief phone conversation when I called to see if she would take me as a client. I have only seen her once but just knowing that I have someone has calmed and settled me to a certain extent. I'm 72, and am healthy as a horse, seemingly, however, just recently I have been diagnosed with severe emphysema. That shot me right into passive SI and I felt it was, and still is, a reasonable and justifiable way to think in my life currently. I stopped using my inhaler and oxygen to quicken the pace of the progression of the disease. After listening to you though I'm beginning to think that perhaps I don't want to speed things up. Plus, I have begun to really wonder what comes after death. In other words, now I'm scared whereas before I wasn't. Thank God for that part of my thinking process, I think. Again, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your work and that I'm beginning to feel that maybe I want to stick around. Had it not been for finding your videos, I certainly would have continued down the passive SI path. I will forever be grateful for you. ❤️
@dr.scotteilerspsydlp529 that would be wonderful. You'll just have to figure out how to turn a 24-hour day into 48 hours! 💗 No doubt there's a waiting list of folks wanting to see you. If only I lived in Iowa! 🙂
I appreciate your post as I too have a lung disease that requires oxygen and my pulmonologist had recently put me on an inhaler, both of which I stopped using due to what I now know as passive suicidal ideation, what an interesting/incredible understanding to have. I always know I want to leave here but also that I don’t want to end my life myself….so, stopping all medications and oxygen to hasten my demise seemed extremely rational. It’s all so much harder now I’ve reached the age of 59 and can see no way around my now life situation.
When I got my first part time job at times it felt very intense and draining. Kept that way for a few months until a friend invited me to join his crossfit class ( this is 2011, chill) . After a few months I shit you not, the work shifts felt like a break. I couldn't wait to get out to go train. Best shape I've ever been.
Thank you for who you are! Listening to you is so helpful. I am a therapist but never got therapy for myself. I signed up with betterhelp and hope to start next week. Wish me luck. My life has been difficult, but I have always done the best I can. I appreciate your honesty.
I'm so glad I found your channel honestly. Its the first time Ive listened to things put in a more relatable way... like not just "Create good habits it will make you feel better" like Ive heard a million times - but you actually add the why, how and the reasoning behind it. Your insights (although they 'should' be quite obvious to us humans already) are actually quite profound light bulb moments for me that I needed to hear. The simple act of going for a walk after work - TRULY feels like climbing Mt Everest right now for me, and it takes that much 'energy' out of me, but the way you explained it here made me feel a little hope - like a little walk is just going to feel like a little walk one day soon. Then I won't sit there putting it off for half n hour procrastinating and wasting time before I go! I'll just get up and go. Thank you so much for your amazing videos.
I stay in the quagmire of the overwhelmed & don't know how to climb out. Can't remember when I enjoyed anything. I'm grateful and overwhelmed simultaneously
Dr. Scott, your talk are so packed with wisdom I gotta go back and re-listen an extra time or two. That has never happened to me! Whatever it is you're doing to get these things done, PLEASE KEEP DOING IT!!! Thank you for sharing. You are a providing a public service!!!!
I volunteered at a soup kitchen and only lasted a week. I was pressured by my mom and I did it to get her off my back. years later i volunteered at a hospital and it is kind of tedious but it involves a lot of walking so that has health benefits. Im thinking reality is very boring so people want to escape with videogames/movies/tv etc. I have a thing with maladaptive daydreaming where I want to withdraw into my fantasy world. Drugs were my invasive species, with them I could immerse myself into my fantasies. When I quit my inner world was barren for about a year and I wanted nothing to do with my world/stories and I hated it. Im slowly regaining interest in things
For reality (or anything) to be boring it has to be being compared to something else that makes it seem boring by contrast. If reality was all we had reality would not seem boring. And i think that’s why you’re finding more interest in your work lately
Reality really is boring and I disagree with Dr. here, working 8+ hours, living in a tiny apartment, small town, even if I don't compare it to anything, it's really boring, if you don't have money to change where you live. At least it's boring for adults if you're afraid of looking silly in public so you do what everyone does, which is boring. Maybe if I could climb a tree like I used to 20 years ago or randomly run and jump like kids do... But no adult acts like this and I don't have the courage to do these things 😑 I wish I had the energy to take care of a dog, going for a walk wouldn't be so boring then. I have no idea how to make life less boring. I used to try new recipes last time I was unemployed, I got into cooking and baking and it was nice, but now after work I have zero energy and I'm too stressed. I can't enjoy my life before I retire 😑
I can totally relate to you. During Covid I was severely burned out working in the nursing field and once it was over (combined with my Mom dying after her 2nd round of Chemo and she spent her last 12 hours alone), I retired after 15 years. It has taken me THREE YEARS to recover mentally. Your advice is so relatable and helpful. I’m thankful we live in the age of technology because with knowledge like yours, we can feel less alone and learn how to pull ourselves out of it. I know you hit this speech out of the park. Thank you for your time. 🙏🏻
7:28 I was the opposite. I worked hard towards my goals. But each time I was ready to take the next step up, BAM, the rug jerked out from under me. I still achieved many of my goals. At 50yrs, my entire world crumbled. Brain tumors! Surgery not go well. Pulled out a chunk of my frontal lobe. Almost died, stms I wish that I would have😢.
Thank you for answering so many questions about how to change. Seeking help, I often found that people tell you why you feel like you do, but they don't offer much on how to change it
I find studying to be more stimulating and rewarding than video games, but also a lot more tiring, but through my depression and anhedonia, I maintained my study routine but forgot about video games. I think they played a good key role in my life. Mainly social, but also about planning for a life that can be as happy and stimulating as a video game. It sort of put down blueprints and modelled what I want to do with my time in the future. So I just fell apart and became structureless after I abandoned art, music and video games.
You have to replace those activities with new ones that involve actual people face to face. Why did you just stop art and music? Was it gradual? Was it because you did not share those things with others?
I have lived the truth of what he says here, folks!! It is REAL! I can corroborate this video's message. I have a few different ways of saying how it goes and what I did to break free, but my steps these last 3 years have been super similar. I discovered it for myself as well - I had to do something different or I would have died and it has lead to the same happiness and positive results for me. too. I Dare you❤
The thought of something more „chorelike“ becoming an eight or ten after you‘ve thrown the addictive stuff out, is very encouraging.👍🏼 Under this aspect it seems worthwhile to try cutting my binge TV sessions out which are a huge time killer.
… I’ve been to so many “mental health professionals” and they just sit there and listen and never say a damn thing. They’re just counting their money in their barely paying attention and definitely not giving a sh!t. Wish I found a real one like that his guy…
The only person who can help people like us is someone who feels like us. Your honesty is what draws us to your videos. You are the real deal. Thank you. Your videos help
Dr Scott, your presentation is brilliant super brilliant to me!! I am suffering from severe depression and ocd and anxiety disorder for over 10years with medication which doesn’t work at all. I now cannot go to work nor go out anymore. I don’t love myself either I’m quite a competent person. Watching your video, I dried….I felt I was being understood by someone finally. And I now now that self care is so much important and lack of it is super detrimental to me throughout my past 20 years. I was so depressed that I lost my career and was financially broke now and I just don’t know how to heal myself having seeing so many psychiatrists and counsellors. But yr video really inspired me. Dr Scott pls produce more videos to help us. You are an angel. I wish I could meet you in person. 😊❤
This talk has hit hard. After going through a number of very difficult and painful situations one after another I have turned into a level two as you call it. I thought I just needed to let it run the course and eventually I would get better but I am getting worse. Do you know that if I can get my head around this and be consistent, your video could be the turning point in my life becoming valuable to me again. I hope I can do it, I am so very tired of failing. Thank you
@@patricias8779 True, you're only as good as your next trick. This goes for families too. If you can't do anything for them they don't want to know you.
@@DrScottEilers yeah, I should probably look at the actual numbers before I start making grand predictions 😅. You're doing great which is very well deserved, and makes me happy thinking of all the people you're helping 👍👊
Wowza that blew my brain. My hubby is a gamer and everything you said is true as I observe him. I hope this video can maybe open his eyes a little. You have great wisdom and I appreciate learning from you, thank you!
Your honesty is well appreciated , you make me feel like it’s ok to not be ok .. I’m Learning different methods of coping and actually surviving . Thanks I look forward to your content
This resonates so much, I can't completely explain: this makes a lot of things clear..it's still difficult to make every change though, but knowing helps towards that
First off, I appreciate your honesty and I'm really glad that this approach worked for you. However from my experience getting 3 times busier is rarely a tactic that works for people suffering from burn out.For me, even with an overwhelming schedule, if one can add 5-10 minutes of meditation to they're lives, every other thing they do has a certain spaciousness and, therefore it can be a quite restorative medicine. However, its not an approach when one is assessing their life from a "doing" stand point. Until one has truly experienced the "being" point of reference,, its hard to even know that another conciousness exists....The Tao He Ching is a great book that encapsulates this...at any rate, it sounds like you have helped many people and its great to see you thriving.
I found this so very helpful. It really illustrated what is going on in my life. I want to be healthier and yet I spend so much time scrolling. Now I know why and what to do about it. Thank you so much!
I have read books and watched visual media to escape reality since i was a kid and i struggle with mood disorders since i was 10. I toyed with the idea that they are somewhat a reason for real life never being satisfacotry before but i quite literally cant imagine going cold turkey with my by now core personality traits. I deffinetly see that it would help because if you hate your reality and have nowhere to escape you will work harder to improve your daily situation but the idea of not having my safe haven is anxiety inducing.
Well done! Your audience is going to get a lot out of that, and your analogies and personal stories drew me in. I’m sitting here drawing out my 10 Point Scale. 😊 Thanks for all you do.
Dr. Eilers, I want to say an immense THANK YOU for your work and the content you provide for us. Through your tellings I felt so seen and heard like never before. It's eye opening to me. I'm trying to implement your suggestions - especially my equivalent to your video gaming example (spending time mindlessly on social media and doom scrolling).
I am on the fence about resuming antidepressants and adding daytime anxiolytics, and maybe therapy too, even though they make me less cognitively sharp and more tired, just because anxiety spiraling is so exhausting that I end up spinning my wheels going nowhere and then turning to distraction anyway.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I listen to a lot of people and be in therapy for over 10years. Let me tell you: you have an impact on my thinking. Like your metaphors a lot. Visualize the situation helps always for me. Great work. Hope your presentation was a success. Greatings from germany
English is not my lenguage and probably I won't be able to exspres my self gramer correctly, but I understand it 100 %. It past one year since you post this and I see you for the first time, but on time, I hope. I'm 40 years old and I'm struggling with anxiety and depression officially last 10 years. I wisited shrinks, I took pils, I read an watch bunch of things about it... Some of these things helped me for a while, but nether of them doesn't sound like truth to me. I give a chance to each of them, but at the end I finished at start point, with filing that I had at the beginning "this won't work". Your aprouch is so fresh and woke me and tuch me simple and effective. It's sound like truth and I can't wait tomorrow to try something to do with my life. I don't know what it would be, but for sure I will spend at lest these 30 minutes to take care of my self. Thank you and God bless you.
I'm into the hardest time of my life and yes, I have nobody to care about me literally , not even myself .So , as you said , what is the point , right ? I even have a pervert pleasure to see myself looking like s**t . I'm to the zero level still ...BUT , because of your videos - especially the one about procrastination , the one with your lady's friend - just turned on a tiny, tiny,tiny light to my dark tunnel . I understood I have to look inside me and find out what is the need that it had never been met . I found it , and i realized I can change that , practically I am the ONLY one that can met that need. And looking to this video just confirmed me, one more time, I am the only one that can change my actual dark path. There is nobody that care about me , ok, but I still have myself and this is so freaking enough . Thank you Dr Scott for showing me sparkles of light into the dark . I know , with your advice's and my own help I will be fine . Thank you for unlocking the hope for me .
YES! I've muddled through years and bunches of depression... and now that I have re-found my loves and interests and I feel MOTIVATED, I realize that I just don't have the time to DO anything that I love. By the time i come home from work, I have to RUSH like I'm on FIRE to take care of my health and to pursue hobbies and it's KILLING ME! I'm starting to get cranky as shit. oooof!
i feel like this in regards to vacations, or holidays…we make them so important, hype them to the max…our regular life pales in comparison….i like to keep the hype down, and haven’t had a traveling vacation in years. I prefer to take time off and enjoy time at home doing fun things…just really relaxing.
But I don't want to stop playing video games. They are fun, and it feels extremely threatening to remove them, I don't feel safe. Is there a way to shift them out painlessly?
This is such a useful discussion/subject. My problem is physiological and [what you are saying]. But i have [many] reasons to be going through this. Starting with [having the wrong patient's {brain} surgery and {no} help for either of the surgeries that i ended up having]. And it just went [downhill] from there. So few people can understand my dilemma. My life literally stayed in limbo for 13 years and when i did get married he turned out to be a psychopath. And when the 10-year-long marriage ended he used the system and totally isolated me from my sons. They were 5 years old and 15 months old when [things literally exploded] and they are now 16 years old and 12 years old. Nothing and no-one have [has] been able to change the situation that i have been in for [very nearly] 11 years [with my sons] not even speaking of the surgeries that happened.
Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Ailers! & Congratulations on 98.9K Subscribers! Your channel is going to Blow Up b/c of your honesty & sincerity! Thank you so Much!!❤👍
I have severe recurrent depression with psychosis as well as a litany of other diagnoses. I’m trying to pull myself out of this pit, thank you for your videos.
Thanks Scott for taking the time to make this video. I’ve watched it twice as it really helped! The wild flower analogy gave me huge insights about the things I struggled with that were leeching away my resources. The idea of looking for things that will nourish and replenish my resources is new. I cannot think of anyone else that has explained it from that perspective. I think it is revolutionary… but I’m struggling to identify other ways to do this besides good nutrition and rest. Perhaps a video one day that goes more in depth… seems all I can think of are things that just distract and drain. Also, the concept of resetting my level of stimulation makes a lot of sense. I struggled for decades with things that over-stimulated and distracted me from doing things that I should or wanted to do. If only you had been around to say this 40 years ago when I was a kid… my life could have been so different.
Hey Dr Scott, I’m having so many emotions right now can’t even explain. Through all my life I was a depressed person and spent tons of money on therapist that sucked because had no idea what I was going through. Ended up in severe depression two years ago and slowly recovering. I came to the same conclusions you speak about in your video, started with proper human diet, sleep and minimal activity. Small steps and consistency rule. Keep going. Thank you ♥️♥️♥️
I totally understand I left my husband 6 years ago because I wanted to do something with my life. Not just sit with a narcissist and get drunk. Well, I lost my entire family. Now I sit here and feel like I'm in the same place but without my family.
This was amazing. A little scary in a hopeful way. Thanks for your excellent metaphors. You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought and I appreciate your sharing it for free!
So happy i stumbled upon a video of yours Dr. Scott,I have been hooked since. You are a breath of fresh air as a therapist,thank you for being so open about your past struggles, you make me feel understood and safe and give hope that if one is willing to do some work on themselves their is hope for happiness and peace of mind. Keep doing your thing,you rock♡.
Every video you make rings so true! Thank you for making these and communicating in a down-to-earth way that describes the exact way I'm feeling. AND, more importantly, gives me understandable strategies to try and improve my life/mental state. You are a gift! THANK YOU!
The reason why I hate life is because I suffer against my will and now that I see everything in life as not important besides not suffering against my will I just want to die, but I'm worried that dying might also cause me to suffer against my will if a bad or possibly horrible afterlife might exist where I might be trapped there for who know how long. And I don't want what is happening to me to happen to anyone else and that's why I attempt to teach people to be antinatalists. It is evil for a god or for anyone else to force another life form into the type of existence where they will suffer against their will because they might not want to exist in the type of existence where they will suffer against their will and that's why it is evil to force another life form into existence.
Your story is very similar to mine. I’m going through what you mentioned right now. I have all these things that I want to dedicate time to in order to make better but I feel like I’m always in survival mode. I want to finally experience peace ☮️ The distracting and disconnecting at the end of the day is where I’m at.
Thank you for breaking it down and setting it in order. I've seen all these things but could not do anything about it. It all makes sense when you say it! Life experience is much more valuable than 'training'. We need someone who really 'gets it' and has been there done that and lives the truth.
God send of a man you have been through hell and managed to get to this point to genuinely help others i have hope now from total hopelessness because you care and this shows throw your presentation so glad i found your channel you probably dont realise just how many people you have helped take thier first deep breath be confident in your presentation because this will help so many thank you ❤
I know that this presentation was 4 months ago, but I just wanted to say that I thought it was excellent, excluding the coughing, of course. As a matter of fact, I'm sending this along to my son, who, hopefully, will listen to it. FYI: He's a gamer too, but thankfully, he's not spending as much time at it as he used to.
This information is powerful and means a lot to me. Every single thing that your saying about where you were, feels like where I am right now. This has been a process that has been building up over the past 5 years. The major contributing factors are the health challenges that I’ve faced during this time. Anxiety slowly crept up in my and then hit full force about a year and half ago. It has has just become too much. I tried so hard to fight it until my doctor prescribed medication to stave it off. I have a hard time with it because 1) I don’t want or like to take medication and 2) I run a business and am no more able to do the things I need to if I’m groggy than I am if I’m fighting panic and anxiety all day. I believe that a good portion of the anxiety is probably hormonal since due to cancer my thyroid was removed. My endocrinologist doesn’t find any imbalances though. It’s frustrating. Much of the time I feel paralyzed to do anything at all. I have VCP, so to force any type of communication takes what energy I do have. It’s a vicious cycle… All of that to state this; I’m glad I found you. PS I didn’t notice a cough.
You have broken so many things down in this it’s like hearing myself talking I’m an out of work actor who keeps psyching herself out thank you so much Thank you
11:00 I have struggled with the problem that I have accomplished my long-term goals and cannot seem to fill the emptiness with new ones. I am unemployed and my manager sucks.
I really like the way you phrase things. Like the metaphors and conceptualizations you talk about make more sense to me than the majority of other psychology/self help content I’ve consumed. Thank you!
At this time, there are so many good TH-cam channels on mental health. However, I find yours to be the most relatable of all. This has been such a great resource for me.
I am so grateful for you sharing all your knowledge!! You are a blessing to all of us who continue to suffer from depression and anxiety. Thank you for being you😊.
I'm low key kind of pissed off you just convinced me to do something I've been telling myself to do for years. Simulation games are some of the only methods I have to avoid my darkest and deepest depressions. You just gave me the best explanation as to why I've felt I need to stop defaulting to video games at the end of the day I've ever heard. So, fuck you. But ultimately, thank you.
I am going throught a separation, 6 months, and it's very difficult to accept and move on. I keep thinking about the rejection and how the love ended on his side...I just wish we never were together because in the end there was only pain...I am stuck in this negativity 😔
You’re the only therapist on YT that isn’t full of crap. Thanks.
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That is so true . Just the right amount of humility. He’s the only one I listen to. Very genuine and not pretentious. Understand the uniqueness of people’s struggle.
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HAHAHAAAAA. I agree.
My end game is to get to the end of the day without soing something bad to myself. There is no joy in my day just chores and a deep pit
I'm so sorry. That sounds awful, I'm in a pit too at the moment, I do hope there's someone close that you trust and can talk to ❤
💗🙏💗🙏
This may sound crazy, but a few months back I found my mood, that had always been a bit of a struggle, took a really dark turn. I literally felt like I was being sucked into a black hole and was at the verge of sobbing several times daily. I started reading every thing I could about it and decided to try a magnesium supplement, to my great surprise not only does magnesium lift my mood but it has regulated my blood pressure which has been medically very high since I was 18 yo, currently 56, you might want to check it out. There are several different kinds, I take either glycinate or L-Threonate both work for me, it does make me very ready for a nap so I take them in the evening now. Good luck going forward. It a tough journey, don’t give up, find what works for you. (A little background, I’ve had years of extreme pain that I refused to take meds for because the med system would gaslight me and I wanted a diagnosis not a numbing and I wanted to be taken seriously, turns out after twelve years gluten was causing Interstitial cystitis, holes in my bladder, I used to pray to die, then when I finally got better and was able to go to work CoVid struck and left me with a laundry list of new ongoing serious med stuff from a damaged heart to lung nodules)
hug.
I can totally relate. That's all I'm doing, is getting through. This last depression is a year and a half and counting. I kept thinking that I'd come out of it at any time. Nope. Not coming out of this one. I can get to the bare essentials, but I should be getting ready for a move, that is at some point inevitable. I feel like life is coming for me. The extras I can't get to, they will catch up and I'm going to be really screwed.
73. Started walking every day for 20 minutes now I’m up to almost an hour. It really helped my heart now the doctor don’t want to see me for a whole year. I can’t walk very good but but I do it and I really enjoy it. it’s something I look forward to now every day.
Thats really good. I've been going to physical therapy to walk better. My 95 year old uncle walks twice a day.
It really is the little things. Do something nice for yourself and someone else everyday.
I am cheering and applauding for you! Well done!!!😁
SO COOL! congrats!
Congratulations! I can’t walk and I’m 56 (arthritis) but I’ve been weed eating even if I have to do it 5 minutes at a time and then take a 15 minute break and do 5 more minutes. I’m already feeling better and proud of myself bc before I used to love to hike and walk and felt like my life was over bc I can’t physically do much. But I can do something, even if just for 5 minutes at a time. I listen to these videos while I’m weed eating with ear buds. It helps! I also just bought a bike and I’m going to try that. Thanks for the inspiration ❤
Going for a walk helps me a lot more than scrolling. My life is so unfair that all I enjoy is nature. Otherwise I feel like crying, but I can’t cry.
"forgetting the password to that amazing world/good life you created" is an amazing analogy and exactly how it feels
I'm 53 and have turned over every stone battling depression since age 18. FINALLY your relatable stories give me the ladder I need to climb out of the pit for good. Thank you so very much for transmuting your own pain into the gift you give us with each video to help us break out of these heavy chains and create lives worth living. You've completely changed my life and I am so grateful. 🙌
Same here, 53 yr old man been battling major depression/anxiety since 1986…this video ALONE gives me more help then the last 35+ yrs of searching ❤
His book is so heavy I’m still only half way through after six months, have to keep rereading same sections until they stick👍🏽
I'm 52 and also relate. Hitting the 50-year mark and realizing that nearly all of life's major milestones have eluded me was especially hard.
Even though I know that I could *theoretically* still achieve some of them, I struggle to even want them anymore, and I sense that even if I got them now, it would feel hollow and pointless.
I spent my 30s & 40s hoping my train would finally get on track, fumbling unsuccessfully to make it happen, and limping toward the next futile attempt. Now I just tread water, slipping under a little more every day. Nonetheless, Dr. Scott's videos are comforting.
@@drakescott 52 here also. The realisation that we have well crossed the middle age mark and are heading into older age is sobering. I was / still am the type to think about what could happen in the future but not quite manage to make it happen. Then you realise time is running out and the dreams are slipping away and that hope cannot sustain you so much anymore.
@@universaltruth2025Your last observation is so true. Like the earlier commenter, @Swami89, I'm only a little into Dr. Scott's book; he seems so sure that our old selves are still in there somewhere, but I'm just not sure I'm capable of recapturing the hope the old me still had. I mean, the old me had relative youth and a sense there was still time to get it together, but after 50, that seems mostly unrealistic.
And today it hit me that I've struggled so long, so relentlessly, daily, that it's not only all I really know, but far less intimidating than change. Nowadays, I just kind of... linger there.
@@drakescott yes I think we get really used to feeling a certain way. Maybe for someone in their 60s and beyond they would look back on their 50s and think it was still young. As we look back on our 30s & 40s. So we should probably keep that in mind. I think our true essence does remain but as far as things like career dreams and financial goals they don’t seem so certain! I think my way of coping with that is to find joy in achieving smaller goals, like simply getting more self discipline over my life and habits. I think I have adhd so even making improvements in that area I find quite rewarding.
I've had major depression all of my life. I've never really made friends easily and what I have they've been fair weather friends at best. I'm 47 and I have none.I'm disabled due to complex trauma and it's rainbow of fun things. I've always struggled with overwhelm with tasks.socialization I can do in spurts. But I don't get friends from it. I have no joy and am either in my chair or in my bed most days. I manage to keep my kitchen and bathroom somewhat presentable. I shower less . I wake up and I don't know why I need to be awake. I don't see a future. Everything is dull .I'm watching a ton of TH-cam and scrolling through Facebook a lot. I have a therapist but none of them around here really help . They listen and tell me to think. More positive. I try but it's hard when I'm stuck in my head and I'm either dead inside or extremely sad . Wish I could only fake being happy for so long before it looks odd to somebody.. I get so starved for human contact that when I do get to talk to somebody I just start to ramble like well just like this here. What makes people really uncomfortable but I can't help myself sometimes. Embarrassing. I try to chat with people online but I don't have anything to talk about because I don't have anything going on. So they just drop off. My kids don't talk to me very often. So I'm just here with two cats . I'm barely human some days .
I have felt the same way! I won’t go into all my problems, but for me to feel somewhat normal, I have to take my meds and go to therapy. I know those 2 things don’t always help, but it’s a start. When I feel better I try and get out and walk. I’m also disabled by a disease. I have to use a walker or cane. Last year I was spiraling last year. I’m trying to get it together this year. Just baby steps at this point. Just start 1 thing and then add on. Pills and therapy are not for everyone, I get it. For me right now it’s necessary!
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I can certainly relate to a lot of this! You're not alone! Thank God for my dogs!!
Me too darling. 2 kids, very selfish and computer obsessed. I have endless chores and housework. I have 1 friend and 1 sister with an acquired brain injury. I’m useful and practical, people are nice to me when they want or need something fixed. I used to do art everyday even when working full time. Since marriage 25 years ago I do nothing but work. Chores housework and house repairs. It took me 25 years to walk away from the marriage and had finished repairing my old house. I bought a dump I’m trying to make a home. I give myself 1 more year to fix this dump then I’m doing art everyday. Even if it 10 minutes. Maybe you could do 10 minutes early in the day? Something for you and just you?
I get starved for human contact too and sometimes I ramble on with strangers in shops or wherever.
You have just described me.
I swear, every video of yours is like better than the last one.
I am currently feeling lost in life and depressed. I thought I was a 0 and nobody cared about me.
Turns out according to this scale I am a 2. * I * care about ME. In a good way, lol. And that gave me hope.
I am proud to say I successfully integrated brushing ny teeth every night in my schedule and I *stick* to it! (As embarrassing as it is to admit that on TH-cam)
What I am currently fighting with myself to integrate is going for a daily 30 minute walk. I LOVE walking. I feel fantastic when I do it. I specifically said fighting with myself, because I have this fixed notion that walking only happens early in the morning, and some days when I see that Noon hits the clock, my brain is like: Ohhh, seems like we have to miss walking today. It’s too late for that!
And I have to be like: “Shut up, brain! We ARE walking!”
Sigh. It’s probably silly, but that’s the struggle. 😅
Thank you for your work! It was a fantastic presentation for just one take!
@vanessaprincesssa I have had exactly this same thing about walking early.. but mine was 11am. It’s still a problem, but I’m amazed when I do go that there’s almost no difference and sometimes I’ve actually gotten some things done in the morning that I need so the walk feels even better then. But I still struggle with that. Also in an overall sense I tend to set unreasonable goals for myself
To help myself go on a walk I use the weather as my guide. If it’s under 82 or 83 I can go anytime of day. That gives me until the sun goes down to get my shoes on and go. It’s worked so far. 🐝🦋🪲
I struggle too about walking as I see it as a chore. Sometimes I walk very late at night for 10 minutes. Please try to tell yourself that its ok to walk later than noon.
@@ruthie600 Thank you! :)
@@annastone5624 Thank you! :)
Even hearing a stranger say “I care about you” is a huge thing.
Endless months of praying I don’t wake up when I finally fall asleep just to be disappointed when I do .
Pretend you are a plant and just try to care for yourself…just a little, each day
Watching Dr. Scott’s video on Passive SI was eye opening for me. Didn’t SOLVE anything in and of itself, mind you, but gave me some validation and maybe a little hope.
People damage even those they love...simply because we are human & cannot always stop fear from gripping us.
I'm so depressed right now that I can't even follow your words. I appreciate what you're doing though.
Just a fellow depressed person here but I’m so sorry you’re struggling. I like to say nothing stays the same, not even the misery. I hope you find some peace soon ❤️
@@therewillbejoy465 Thank you, I truly appreciate that.
He talks really slowly. I have this at double speed and it’s still too slow. For me, it’s really hard to follow when things when it takes too long to get to the damn point.
The fact that you are even tuning in … is the main thing. Keep going… some days you can listen to more … there’s others … not so. Keep chipping away at it. 😊
@@sharynmain2432 Thank you so much for your kindness and encouragement.
16:28 spend 20-30 minutes a day… something to give you more time and energy, like exercise or meditation. Gives more time because you’re more efficient the rest of the time. Then make it a habit every day.
20:48 start another thing after you’ve established first habit, like sleep hygiene or eat better
Around 27:00 self care taking care of yourself.
31:20 do one thing and do it consistently.
Around 27:00 sort of explains different levels if self care. You keep on adding and your value compounds.
Earlier… spend 20-30 minutes a day doing something that gives you more energy, like EXERCISE… also gives you more time because your thought process is more efficient the rest of the day.
Once you add the one consistent daily habit and it’s solidly a habit, then add or focus another thing.
Around 38:00 invasive species of plants can rob native plants of resources like water and nutrients and they might be pretty but can take over. Do you have any invasive species that are invisibly robbing everything else in your life? Like gaming…
Thanks for this
The most helpful comment, thank you 🎉
Your timestamps are very helpful!
Thank you! ☀️
@@Mgt44411 I’m really glad they were helpful! I have really severe ADHD and was having a difficult time with his presentation but I did find a lot of good takeaways, especially the last concept of an “invasive species” robbing you of life. If other people have insights or make changes based on the video, I’m very curious to know. Please let me know! Thanks.
@tnijoo5109 I, too, found the invasive species example helpful, robbing resources ... I'm working on being more active. Dr. Scott's story from another video about celebrating the simple fact that I sat up is helping.
Today I am celebrating that I actually went for a walk ☀️
I wish you well on your journey!
I was at level zero for many years. I'm 67 and currently between levels one and two. I also live in my head with perfectionism and cognitive distortions. My imperfections were focused on by my late mother, which gave me an inferiority complex.
I’m a burnt out health care worker. But, I still need to work. I just got a new part time job. I hope I like it. My last job sent me to the ER for super high/stroke like BP. My BP ok now……….but need to see cardiologist. I will be 63 next month. 😢. Made it this far with life long depression . Working out keeps me alive. And my doggie 🐶
I’m 46. Trying to make a new life. Ignoring this pervasive feeling that it’s too late for me. Mourning a past full of bad decisions and dreams that will never come true. Nobody understands me. Completely alone. No friends. No love life. Starting with nothing now. Hoping to get where you are.
I feel like I could have written that
I am in the same place, a lot. And when I hear of friends my age that have died, I just panic. It's like oh shit! I better get at the things I really want to do.
I’m 43 and starting to feel this. No lovelife as I have no motivation I feel like I had enough amount of heartaches , I mean a lot of heartache and very traumatic decisions. I’m coming to terms that this will be my life.
You are a beautiful and deep soul and I wish you peace and purpose.
I feel this in my bones. I don't have any magic advice to give you, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in feeling that way. My mental health struggles have robbed me of so much opportunity that my life feels like a monument to wasted potential. I'm old enough to start really getting anxious about what I haven't achieved in life that I wanted to, and about things I really wanted to do that are now out of reach due to age and health. It's disconcerting, but all I can do right now is take one day at a time. I'm in treatment for my issues, and all I can do right now is get through the day and hope for a better future, although sometimes it seems impossible.
Fantastic presentation! My struggles have placed me on a dark path, but they have also allowed me to hold up a lantern for those who follow. By helping others, I’ve learned to embrace difficult times rather than sink into isolation. My losses and suffering have deeply enriched my medical career, making me a more compassionate caregiver. It's essential that we put aside shame and the belief that we’re alone in our pain, and instead, speak out.
Dreams died. Don’t know where to aim anymore. There’s chores to do all the time - things I have to do to care for myself and a few dependents. Actually have a good living situation.
The next 50 years feels like a life sentence, not a life. Hopes deferred makes a heart sick.
I hear you
After Covid I began spending too much time watching YT videos, just like this one
Today I realize that is leading me to depression and unhappiness
Now I have cut back on YT and try to spend more time out in the world ; the beach, shopping, looking for another car, etc - and I feel happier
The worst misery for me is knowing how full of potential I am and not being able to actualize it. So much time had been wasted it feels like I just let life pass me by and now I’m stuck like a dear in the headlights ruminating about all the trauma that I think has caused this condition. It just feels like if someone could just grab me out of the muck, put me on the right path and give a a swift kick in the ass my motor would turn over and off I would go.
I’m exactly the same. Even “going for a walk” can never really be an automatic action for women in particular as it is instilled in us to be hypervigilant. So I end up just not leaving the house.
That's a great way of putting it, I feel the same
Can you do it as a 'hobby' or small class...then slowly move towards doing it as profession?
@@Nushka23 me too, I am the same. Although, sometimes I go for a short walk very late at night. I dont kmow why I can't do it in the daytime.
@@Nushka23ditto
Scott I have never heard a therapist so accurately describe the burnout and the difficulty finding real solutions to it. Same as what you’re saying. When I came home from managing our Wellness Center I didn’t have any energy left for my own wellness much less my husband or child or cultivating friendships with other people. I had no energy for myself. Everyone told me don’t work as hard. I was like really then how about others in my life doing more or me caring less about promoting and managing our business. How do I do that without tanking our business? When I realized others were only willing to do what was in their comfort level and I started to care less the business started slowing down. Anyway all this too say I appreciate you taking the time to do your videos. I e been in counseling for 45 years and this is the first time I felt sa therapist personally understood this struggle. Thank you
“The thing you love the most in your life, might be ruining your life.” Wowzer. It’s using up my time, energy & resources to improve my mental state etc. Thought provoking. Thanks 🙏🏻
This life and how it just shits on me over and over and over and over. Hard work has amounted to nothing, being a good person has amounted to nothing, everything is a lie.
Yep. We are lied to from birth.
Life ain't a Taylor Swift song.
I feel like that too
@@susanmercurio1060 it sucks. Life is very very hard.
Walking is so good - I use to walk every day but I’m going through a depressive phase and my physical health hasn’t been great either, I’m suffering from financial grief after selling my house prematurely and not having enough money to afford another home since everything skyrocketed 2 months after I sold, single parent on a disability pension so the future looks grim for me financially- I do have a God faith but things are tricky there too at the moment- I guess after 53 years of struggling with depression and anxiety- you start to wonder if it’s all worth it, life feels like a continuous uphill battle- I honestly feel this is possibly the lowest I’ve been in a long time. Listening to Scott’s video is definitely bringing me some comfort 🙏❤🙏
Dr. Scott, firstly, I need and want to tell you how much I appreciate your time put into your work here on this channel. I am so grateful to you for helping me (and all the subscribers) through a very dark time in my life. The first video I watched was the one on active and passive suicidal ideation. I related to that so much. Now I have a (self) diagnosis of passive SI. I, of course, thought that I was the only one who had these type of thoughts. Knowing I'm not a solitary creature in this gave me so much hope, enough hope that I was able to handle life until I saw my new therapist. I was without one for 6 to 8 months and my issues during that time built up and built up until I was almost completely overwhelmed and wiped out. As a matter of fact, I have had this therapist's name and number for several months and couldn't bring myself to call and ask if she would take me on as a client. It wasn't until I listened to some of your videos that I was able to call her and, yes, she did take me as a client. I honestly believe that finding you on TH-cam was a God thing because I wasn't looking for anything along the lines of therapy. Probably I was looking for a video on horse training or plants. But there you were at the top of my feed!
I would like nothing more than to have you as my therapist. Honestly. I do believe, however, that my new therapist will work out fine, though. I seemed to connect with her even during my very brief phone conversation when I called to see if she would take me as a client. I have only seen her once but just knowing that I have someone has calmed and settled me to a certain extent.
I'm 72, and am healthy as a horse, seemingly, however, just recently I have been diagnosed with severe emphysema. That shot me right into passive SI and I felt it was, and still is, a reasonable and justifiable way to think in my life currently. I stopped using my inhaler and oxygen to quicken the pace of the progression of the disease. After listening to you though I'm beginning to think that perhaps I don't want to speed things up. Plus, I have begun to really wonder what comes after death. In other words, now I'm scared whereas before I wasn't. Thank God for that part of my thinking process, I think.
Again, I wanted you to know how much I appreciate your work and that I'm beginning to feel that maybe I want to stick around. Had it not been for finding your videos, I certainly would have continued down the passive SI path. I will forever be grateful for you. ❤️
Hi there! I am currently only licensed in Iowa and also very full, but I’m working on a way to be more interactive with people on here!
♥️
@dr.scotteilerspsydlp529 that would be wonderful. You'll just have to figure out how to turn a 24-hour day into 48 hours! 💗 No doubt there's a waiting list of folks wanting to see you. If only I lived in Iowa! 🙂
Well done at 72 that’s a great accomplishment… ageing can add another challenge and we can only recognise that once we get older.
I appreciate your post as I too have a lung disease that requires oxygen and my pulmonologist had recently put me on an inhaler, both of which I stopped using due to what I now know as passive suicidal ideation, what an interesting/incredible understanding to have. I always know I want to leave here but also that I don’t want to end my life myself….so, stopping all medications and oxygen to hasten my demise seemed extremely rational. It’s all so much harder now I’ve reached the age of 59 and can see no way around my now life situation.
When I got my first part time job at times it felt very intense and draining. Kept that way for a few months until a friend invited me to join his crossfit class ( this is 2011, chill) .
After a few months I shit you not, the work shifts felt like a break. I couldn't wait to get out to go train. Best shape I've ever been.
Good for you! What does "( this is 2011, chill)" mean?
@@hannahmitchell87That CrossFit now is a meme and people who practice are not taken seriously
I’m screwed. There’s no hope in this tunnel. It’s collapsed and I have no energy to even bother digging myself out. No one is coming.
I'm just seeing your txt.Keep listening to this young man. Just one video at a time. No overload. God will bless your effort!
@@sharoncravenor2226 thank you for your kind words. Yes God will see me through this
@@masterchiefofhalo4525
I hope things are better now. ❤
Thank you for who you are! Listening to you is so helpful. I am a therapist but never got therapy for myself. I signed up with betterhelp and hope to start next week. Wish me luck. My life has been difficult, but I have always done the best I can. I appreciate your honesty.
I'm so glad I found your channel honestly. Its the first time Ive listened to things put in a more relatable way... like not just "Create good habits it will make you feel better" like Ive heard a million times - but you actually add the why, how and the reasoning behind it. Your insights (although they 'should' be quite obvious to us humans already) are actually quite profound light bulb moments for me that I needed to hear.
The simple act of going for a walk after work - TRULY feels like climbing Mt Everest right now for me, and it takes that much 'energy' out of me, but the way you explained it here made me feel a little hope - like a little walk is just going to feel like a little walk one day soon. Then I won't sit there putting it off for half n hour procrastinating and wasting time before I go! I'll just get up and go.
Thank you so much for your amazing videos.
I stay in the quagmire of the overwhelmed & don't know how to climb out. Can't remember when I enjoyed anything. I'm grateful and overwhelmed simultaneously
Can't believe I have found someone who describes this exactly and can give help. Thank you.
Dr. Scott, your talk are so packed with wisdom I gotta go back and re-listen an extra time or two. That has never happened to me! Whatever it is you're doing to get these things done, PLEASE KEEP DOING IT!!! Thank you for sharing. You are a providing a public service!!!!
I volunteered at a soup kitchen and only lasted a week. I was pressured by my mom and I did it to get her off my back. years later i volunteered at a hospital and it is kind of tedious but it involves a lot of walking so that has health benefits.
Im thinking reality is very boring so people want to escape with videogames/movies/tv etc. I have a thing with maladaptive daydreaming where I want to withdraw into my fantasy world. Drugs were my invasive species, with them I could immerse myself into my fantasies. When I quit my inner world was barren for about a year and I wanted nothing to do with my world/stories and I hated it. Im slowly regaining interest in things
For reality (or anything) to be boring it has to be being compared to something else that makes it seem boring by contrast. If reality was all we had reality would not seem boring. And i think that’s why you’re finding more interest in your work lately
What kind of therapy do you practice?
@@DrScottEilersso restriction of choice is a bad thing?
Reality really is boring and I disagree with Dr. here, working 8+ hours, living in a tiny apartment, small town, even if I don't compare it to anything, it's really boring, if you don't have money to change where you live. At least it's boring for adults if you're afraid of looking silly in public so you do what everyone does, which is boring. Maybe if I could climb a tree like I used to 20 years ago or randomly run and jump like kids do... But no adult acts like this and I don't have the courage to do these things 😑 I wish I had the energy to take care of a dog, going for a walk wouldn't be so boring then. I have no idea how to make life less boring. I used to try new recipes last time I was unemployed, I got into cooking and baking and it was nice, but now after work I have zero energy and I'm too stressed. I can't enjoy my life before I retire 😑
American culture and society is very toxic. That's why so many people use drugs or alcohol.
Dr Gabor Mate has lots to say about this.
I can totally relate to you. During Covid I was severely burned out working in the nursing field and once it was over (combined with my Mom dying after her 2nd round of Chemo and she spent her last 12 hours alone), I retired after 15 years. It has taken me THREE YEARS to recover mentally. Your advice is so relatable and helpful. I’m thankful we live in the age of technology because with knowledge like yours, we can feel less alone and learn how to pull ourselves out of it. I know you hit this speech out of the park. Thank you for your time. 🙏🏻
7:28 I was the opposite. I worked hard towards my goals. But each time I was ready to take the next step up, BAM, the rug jerked out from under me. I still achieved many of my goals. At 50yrs, my entire world crumbled. Brain tumors! Surgery not go well. Pulled out a chunk of my frontal lobe. Almost died, stms I wish that I would have😢.
Thank you for answering so many questions about how to change. Seeking help, I often found that people tell you why you feel like you do, but they don't offer much on how to change it
I find studying to be more stimulating and rewarding than video games, but also a lot more tiring, but through my depression and anhedonia, I maintained my study routine but forgot about video games. I think they played a good key role in my life. Mainly social, but also about planning for a life that can be as happy and stimulating as a video game. It sort of put down blueprints and modelled what I want to do with my time in the future.
So I just fell apart and became structureless after I abandoned art, music and video games.
You have to replace those activities with new ones that involve actual people face to face. Why did you just stop art and music? Was it gradual? Was it because you did not share those things with others?
I appreciate your videos so much, picking myself up from a hard time... it's incredibly helpful to feel understood.
I'm so glad!
I have lived the truth of what he says here, folks!! It is REAL!
I can corroborate this video's message. I have a few different ways of saying how it goes and what I did to break free, but my steps these last 3 years have been super similar. I discovered it for myself as well - I had to do something different or I would have died and it has lead to the same happiness and positive results for me. too.
I Dare you❤
The thought of something more „chorelike“ becoming an eight or ten after you‘ve thrown the addictive stuff out, is very encouraging.👍🏼
Under this aspect it seems worthwhile to try cutting my binge TV sessions out which are a huge time killer.
Absolutely ❤️
… I’ve been to so many “mental health professionals” and they just sit there and listen and never say a damn thing. They’re just counting their money in their barely paying attention and definitely not giving a sh!t. Wish I found a real one like that his guy…
The only person who can help people like us is someone who feels like us. Your honesty is what draws us to your videos. You are the real deal. Thank you. Your videos help
Dr Scott, your presentation is brilliant super brilliant to me!! I am suffering from severe depression and ocd and anxiety disorder for over 10years with medication which doesn’t work at all. I now cannot go to work nor go out anymore. I don’t love myself either I’m quite a competent person. Watching your video, I dried….I felt I was being understood by someone finally. And I now now that self care is so much important and lack of it is super detrimental to me throughout my past 20 years. I was so depressed that I lost my career and was financially broke now and I just don’t know how to heal myself having seeing so many psychiatrists and counsellors. But yr video really inspired me. Dr Scott pls produce more videos to help us. You are an angel. I wish I could meet you in person. 😊❤
I’m making 2 per week now 😁 next one premieres in an hour!
This talk has hit hard. After going through a number of very difficult and painful situations one after another I have turned into a level two as you call it. I thought I just needed to let it run the course and eventually I would get better but I am getting worse. Do you know that if I can get my head around this and be consistent, your video could be the turning point in my life becoming valuable to me again. I hope I can do it, I am so very tired of failing. Thank you
I feel I'm important to others but only for what I can do for others. social interactions have always felt transactional at their core.
Omg same---I'm important because of what I do and what I can do for them
@@patricias8779 True, you're only as good as your next trick. This goes for families too. If you can't do anything for them they don't want to know you.
I appreciate how personal and honest and helpful this is to me! Thank you. I’m finding my way out of burnout and there is so much here to chew on.
I predict that this channel is going to grow exponentially.
How did I never think about things that way before?
Thank you!!
I feel like it already has, but maybe there’s more to come!
@@DrScottEilers yeah, I should probably look at the actual numbers before I start making grand predictions 😅. You're doing great which is very well deserved, and makes me happy thinking of all the people you're helping 👍👊
Wowza that blew my brain. My hubby is a gamer and everything you said is true as I observe him. I hope this video can maybe open his eyes a little. You have great wisdom and I appreciate learning from you, thank you!
Your honesty is well appreciated , you make me feel like it’s ok to not be ok .. I’m
Learning different methods of coping and actually surviving . Thanks I look forward to your content
❤❤ the
Only
Very interesting and helpful! Especially the hard truth at the end using that great metaphor of the purple flowers!
Thanks for letting me know it helped and for watching the whole thing!
A refreshing take, that cuts through the mumbo-jumbo and gives practical advice. Thank you!
You give me so much hope because you talk from your personal experience through trial and error.
This resonates so much, I can't completely explain: this makes a lot of things clear..it's still difficult to make every change though, but knowing helps towards that
First off, I appreciate your honesty and I'm really glad that this approach worked for you. However from my experience getting 3 times busier is rarely a tactic that works for people suffering from burn out.For me, even with an overwhelming schedule, if one can add 5-10 minutes of meditation to they're lives, every other thing they do has a certain spaciousness and, therefore it can be a quite restorative medicine. However, its not an approach when one is assessing their life from a "doing" stand point. Until one has truly experienced the "being" point of reference,, its hard to even know that another conciousness exists....The Tao He Ching is a great book that encapsulates this...at any rate, it sounds like you have helped many people and its great to see you thriving.
I found this so very helpful. It really illustrated what is going on in my life. I want to be healthier and yet I spend so much time scrolling. Now I know why and what to do about it. Thank you so much!
I have read books and watched visual media to escape reality since i was a kid and i struggle with mood disorders since i was 10. I toyed with the idea that they are somewhat a reason for real life never being satisfacotry before but i quite literally cant imagine going cold turkey with my by now core personality traits. I deffinetly see that it would help because if you hate your reality and have nowhere to escape you will work harder to improve your daily situation but the idea of not having my safe haven is anxiety inducing.
I love how realistic your content is. You don’t use cliche solutions. You allow us to be human and still win.
Well done! Your audience is going to get a lot out of that, and your analogies and personal stories drew me in. I’m sitting here drawing out my 10 Point Scale. 😊 Thanks for all you do.
Dr. Eilers, I want to say an immense THANK YOU for your work and the content you provide for us. Through your tellings I felt so seen and heard like never before. It's eye opening to me. I'm trying to implement your suggestions - especially my equivalent to your video gaming example (spending time mindlessly on social media and doom scrolling).
I am on the fence about resuming antidepressants and adding daytime anxiolytics, and maybe therapy too, even though they make me less cognitively sharp and more tired, just because anxiety spiraling is so exhausting that I end up spinning my wheels going nowhere and then turning to distraction anyway.
THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! your insights and encouraging words are EXTREMELY HELPFUL to me!!!!!!!!!!!! If everyone could just have a therapist like you!!!
I love your content, delivery and even your voice. What I become distracted by are the words, right, like, and okay.
Thanks for sharing this with us. I listen to a lot of people and be in therapy for over 10years. Let me tell you: you have an impact on my thinking. Like your metaphors a lot. Visualize the situation helps always for me. Great work. Hope your presentation was a success. Greatings from germany
English is not my lenguage and probably I won't be able to exspres my self gramer correctly, but I understand it 100 %. It past one year since you post this and I see you for the first time, but on time, I hope. I'm 40 years old and I'm struggling with anxiety and depression officially last 10 years. I wisited shrinks, I took pils, I read an watch bunch of things about it... Some of these things helped me for a while, but nether of them doesn't sound like truth to me. I give a chance to each of them, but at the end I finished at start point, with filing that I had at the beginning "this won't work". Your aprouch is so fresh and woke me and tuch me simple and effective. It's sound like truth and I can't wait tomorrow to try something to do with my life. I don't know what it would be, but for sure I will spend at lest these 30 minutes to take care of my self. Thank you and God bless you.
The invasive species analogy is a perfect way to describe how certain activities deplete our resources. Great video!
I'm into the hardest time of my life and yes, I have nobody to care about me literally , not even myself .So , as you said , what is the point , right ? I even have a pervert pleasure to see myself looking like s**t . I'm to the zero level still ...BUT , because of your videos - especially the one about procrastination , the one with your lady's friend - just turned on a tiny, tiny,tiny light to my dark tunnel . I understood I have to look inside me and find out what is the need that it had never been met . I found it , and i realized I can change that , practically I am the ONLY one that can met that need. And looking to this video just confirmed me, one more time, I am the only one that can change my actual dark path. There is nobody that care about me , ok, but I still have myself and this is so freaking enough . Thank you Dr Scott for showing me sparkles of light into the dark . I know , with your advice's and my own help I will be fine . Thank you for unlocking the hope for me .
YES! I've muddled through years and bunches of depression... and now that I have re-found my loves and interests and I feel MOTIVATED, I realize that I just don't have the time to DO anything that I love. By the time i come home from work, I have to RUSH like I'm on FIRE to take care of my health and to pursue hobbies and it's KILLING ME! I'm starting to get cranky as shit. oooof!
Time flies when your having fun. You have time and/or make more time when you love the things you're doing.
i feel like this in regards to vacations, or holidays…we make them so important, hype them to the max…our regular life pales in comparison….i like to keep the hype down, and haven’t had a traveling vacation in years. I prefer to take time off and enjoy time at home doing fun things…just really relaxing.
But I don't want to stop playing video games. They are fun, and it feels extremely threatening to remove them, I don't feel safe. Is there a way to shift them out painlessly?
Thank you, Dr. Scott. You did a fine job with your "practice" presentation. I learned a lot and was inspired at the same time.
This is such a useful discussion/subject. My problem is physiological and [what you are saying]. But i have [many] reasons to be going through this. Starting with [having the wrong patient's {brain} surgery and {no} help for either of the surgeries that i ended up having]. And it just went [downhill] from there. So few people can understand my dilemma. My life literally stayed in limbo for 13 years and when i did get married he turned out to be a psychopath. And when the 10-year-long marriage ended he used the system and totally isolated me from my sons. They were 5 years old and 15 months old when [things literally exploded] and they are now 16 years old and 12 years old. Nothing and no-one have [has] been able to change the situation that i have been in for [very nearly] 11 years [with my sons] not even speaking of the surgeries that happened.
Happy Thanksgiving Dr. Ailers! & Congratulations on 98.9K Subscribers! Your channel is going to Blow Up b/c of your honesty & sincerity! Thank you so Much!!❤👍
213K Subscribers now on 6/8/24. WOW!!!♥️
This is incredibly insightful!!! Thank you for sharing. You will help so many that are ready to hear 😊
Best video on TH-cam !!!! Every person on the planet needs to understand this video and pass a test on it prior to ANY other degrees.
I have severe recurrent depression with psychosis as well as a litany of other diagnoses. I’m trying to pull myself out of this pit, thank you for your videos.
Thanks Scott for taking the time to make this video. I’ve watched it twice as it really helped! The wild flower analogy gave me huge insights about the things I struggled with that were leeching away my resources. The idea of looking for things that will nourish and replenish my resources is new. I cannot think of anyone else that has explained it from that perspective. I think it is revolutionary… but I’m struggling to identify other ways to do this besides good nutrition and rest. Perhaps a video one day that goes more in depth… seems all I can think of are things that just distract and drain. Also, the concept of resetting my level of stimulation makes a lot of sense. I struggled for decades with things that over-stimulated and distracted me from doing things that I should or wanted to do. If only you had been around to say this 40 years ago when I was a kid… my life could have been so different.
Hey Dr Scott, I’m having so many emotions right now can’t even explain. Through all my life I was a depressed person and spent tons of money on therapist that sucked because had no idea what I was going through. Ended up in severe depression two years ago and slowly recovering. I came to the same conclusions you speak about in your video, started with proper human diet, sleep and minimal activity. Small steps and consistency rule. Keep going. Thank you ♥️♥️♥️
This has been incredibly insightful and helpful. Thank you so much. I'm really learning from your content and am grateful that you work so hard on it.
Finding your channel encourages me to keep living. Literally❤
I totally understand I left my husband 6 years ago because I wanted to do something with my life. Not just sit with a narcissist and get drunk. Well, I lost my entire family. Now I sit here and feel like I'm in the same place but without my family.
This was amazing. A little scary in a hopeful way. Thanks for your excellent metaphors. You’ve obviously given this a lot of thought and I appreciate your sharing it for free!
So happy i stumbled upon a video of yours Dr. Scott,I have been hooked since. You are a breath of fresh air as a therapist,thank you for being so open about your past struggles, you make me feel understood and safe and give hope that if one is willing to do some work on themselves their is hope for happiness and peace of mind. Keep doing your thing,you rock♡.
Every video you make rings so true! Thank you for making these and communicating in a down-to-earth way that describes the exact way I'm feeling. AND, more importantly, gives me understandable strategies to try and improve my life/mental state. You are a gift! THANK YOU!
The reason why I hate life is because I suffer against my will and now that I see everything in life as not important besides not suffering against my will I just want to die, but I'm worried that dying might also cause me to suffer against my will if a bad or possibly horrible afterlife might exist where I might be trapped there for who know how long.
And I don't want what is happening to me to happen to anyone else and that's why I attempt to teach people to be antinatalists.
It is evil for a god or for anyone else to force another life form into the type of existence where they will suffer against their will because they might not want to exist in the type of existence where they will suffer against their will and that's why it is evil to force another life form into existence.
As talk about yourself so you shall be.
I start thinking of myself as a person who does healthy things and it realigns my overall decision making - Powerful
Im 53 and i don't know how to get out. Im supposedly functional but i always feel bad.
Your story is very similar to mine. I’m going through what you mentioned right now. I have all these things that I want to dedicate time to in order to make better but I feel like I’m always in survival mode. I want to finally experience peace ☮️ The distracting and disconnecting at the end of the day is where I’m at.
Thank you for breaking it down and setting it in order. I've seen all these things but could not do anything about it. It all makes sense when you say it! Life experience is much more valuable than 'training'. We need someone who really 'gets it' and has been there done that and lives the truth.
God send of a man you have been through hell and managed to get to this point to genuinely help others i have hope now from total hopelessness because you care and this shows throw your presentation so glad i found your channel you probably dont realise just how many people you have helped take thier first deep breath be confident in your presentation because this will help so many thank you ❤
I know that this presentation was 4 months ago, but I just wanted to say that I thought it was excellent, excluding the coughing, of course. As a matter of fact, I'm sending this along to my son, who, hopefully, will listen to it. FYI: He's a gamer too, but thankfully, he's not spending as much time at it as he used to.
😂 this was before I hired an editor ❤️
This information is powerful and means a lot to me. Every single thing that your saying about where you were, feels like where I am right now.
This has been a process that has been building up over the past 5 years.
The major contributing factors are the health challenges that I’ve faced during this time.
Anxiety slowly crept up in my and then hit full force about a year and half ago. It has has just become too much.
I tried so hard to fight it until my doctor prescribed medication to stave it off. I have a hard time with it because 1) I don’t want or like to take medication and 2) I run a business and am no more able to do the things I need to if I’m groggy than I am if I’m fighting panic and anxiety all day.
I believe that a good portion of the anxiety is probably hormonal since due to cancer my thyroid was removed.
My endocrinologist doesn’t find any imbalances though.
It’s frustrating.
Much of the time I feel paralyzed to do anything at all.
I have VCP, so to force any type of communication takes what energy I do have.
It’s a vicious cycle…
All of that to state this; I’m glad I found you.
PS I didn’t notice a cough.
@@DrScottEilershave you done this with slides and uploaded it to your youtube? This is good stuff
You have broken so many things down in this it’s like hearing myself talking I’m an out of work actor who keeps psyching herself out thank you so much Thank you
11:00
I have struggled with the problem that I have accomplished my long-term goals and cannot seem to fill the emptiness with new ones.
I am unemployed and my manager sucks.
I really like the way you phrase things. Like the metaphors and conceptualizations you talk about make more sense to me than the majority of other psychology/self help content I’ve consumed. Thank you!
At this time, there are so many good TH-cam channels on mental health. However, I find yours to be the most relatable of all. This has been such a great resource for me.
I am so grateful for you sharing all your knowledge!! You are a blessing to all of us who continue to suffer from depression and anxiety. Thank you for being you😊.
I'm low key kind of pissed off you just convinced me to do something I've been telling myself to do for years. Simulation games are some of the only methods I have to avoid my darkest and deepest depressions. You just gave me the best explanation as to why I've felt I need to stop defaulting to video games at the end of the day I've ever heard. So, fuck you. But ultimately, thank you.
Thank you for what you do. Even though this video is older, it truly resignates with me
I am going throught a separation, 6 months, and it's very difficult to accept and move on. I keep thinking about the rejection and how the love ended on his side...I just wish we never were together because in the end there was only pain...I am stuck in this negativity 😔
I loved every second of this presentation... It is very insightful, Thank you!