How to win (or lose) your morning immediately

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 20 พ.ย. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 671

  • @kadrei
    @kadrei 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +77

    What helped me in the morning was: get up immediately (don't gibe your body the chance to stay in that sleepy mood), stretch (just make your self as long as possible, arms up and on your toes, bend in every direction, no workout), turn on all the lights, open some windows and drink a big glas of fresh water.

  • @dianemorrell9638
    @dianemorrell9638 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    Lack of self care was created when children were neglected themselves by parents who lacked good self care ❤

  • @commoneuropeanstarling
    @commoneuropeanstarling 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +123

    I know I shouldn't solely depend on these therapy vlogs but I find them more useful than some actual therapy online platforms that I have paid for.

    • @susanmercurio1060
      @susanmercurio1060 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +11

      Or therapists that you have seen

    • @natashaj9169
      @natashaj9169 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Me too!!!! Better then therapy for me.

    • @RJones-tn5vg
      @RJones-tn5vg 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      Same. My therapist gets 45 minutes with me each week, but TH-cam is here all the time.

    • @salimr4718
      @salimr4718 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Have you used Betterhelp? Is it worth it?

    • @jennyhaytch
      @jennyhaytch 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      If they work, why not? : ) I've gotten more growth, development, and understanding from TH-cam vids and journalling than I've ever gotten from therapy. If you're consuming videos made by trusted and informed creators then that's a pretty reliable source.

  • @jonathanvaughan453
    @jonathanvaughan453 ปีที่แล้ว +316

    Gotta say that I’ve watched a few of this guy’s videos and I really like his style. Too many psychology people are way too opinionated about people’s worldviews. This guy’s approach is hands-off in just the right way. Loved the other video about how one’s world exists within them - great stuff.

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  ปีที่แล้ว +39

      I appreciate that

    • @TheEnchantedDuat
      @TheEnchantedDuat ปีที่แล้ว +12

      100%

    • @theoriginal7727
      @theoriginal7727 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DrScottEilers not to get all new AG on you, but clearly you have done your own work on yourself! Too many people are out there, running around, trying to fix everything and everyone else, but still haven’t taken the Socratic advice to know themselves first. Including therapists, doctors, coaches, and other people were supposed to have very high levels of competency in such matters!

    • @annw.6460
      @annw.6460 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DrScottEilers your humility and relatability are very refreshing. I just discovered your channel about a week ago. I am finding your advice extremely helpful at a time when it is very much needed. Thank you. 🙏

    • @cheriegullerud9040
      @cheriegullerud9040 ปีที่แล้ว +20

      Agreed. I watched three of his videos and told my husband, "Here's our Therapist!"

  • @dancingnachos3634
    @dancingnachos3634 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +49

    I am having a hard time getting up from bed at all. Every time I finish a part of my work the first thing I want to do is go back to bed and scroll my phone
    This channel deserves many more subscribers

    • @merriferrell2818
      @merriferrell2818 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I completely understand

    • @tunghiem2010
      @tunghiem2010 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Please try wimhof breathing first thing you do when you wake up. makes a huge difference for me😊

  • @maddyc2412
    @maddyc2412 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +40

    When my mental health was at it's lowest, a friend was saying that they knew going to sleep must be hard for me but that wasn't true. Going to sleep was easy, I wanted oblivion. Waking up was hard, so hard, every day. This video is so important

  • @smoothjazz1954
    @smoothjazz1954 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +32

    Thank you for this. I am retired, what a mess. I stay up till 2:00 am or later! I sleep till 12:00 next day. I am turning into a homebody. I need more of a life!! But, depressed. You’re so positive. 😊 I need to change. ❤ Yep, not very happy. 😢

    • @dmc1806
      @dmc1806 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Same , GOD BLESS YOUR RECOVERY AMEN ✝️.

    • @Maria-nl3px
      @Maria-nl3px 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Just depressed since 7 y.o. when 4 year old sister died. Father was a alcoholic. Was in war in Germany as a child and taken from mother during WW2. Until teen. My life has been been very happy. Ended up in abusive relationships. Registered Dietitian for 30 plus years til layoff then Breast cancer 🎀 then severe depression. After 4 degrees. 4 siblings passed. I am the oldest of 8. Counseling for 40 plus years.
      Thank you so much Dr. SCOTT For your videos. They help me every time I watch them. I get up every day at the same time every day. I try to eat healthy. Anhedonia definitely for a long time. 😢😢

    • @temi4116
      @temi4116 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Smoothjazz, you just defined me. Each point you said. Retired, awake till 2, 3, 4, usually. Sleep until 2, 3 pm, sometimes. I've turned into a homebody, most days. I'm depressed usually when I wake up, most days.

    • @temi4116
      @temi4116 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I love Scott's talks.
      I am learning lots!
      Journaling helps me alot. Decluttering is helping me to think new thoughts, make room for new hobbies, and other refreshing discoveries.

    • @jaxxs8703
      @jaxxs8703 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      I bought a light therapy lamp. It has helped when I use in early 6 am to 8 am at very latest. Opening my heart and mind to creator’s abundance and light. Eating 1 lb of cruciferous mostly raw. Increase energetic vibration by walking barefoot on the ground especially in sunlight helps tremendously or just lying out there on a mat and stretch! Social time with another who I resonate with helps too! Also help another if you can❤

  • @SideB1984
    @SideB1984 ปีที่แล้ว +350

    Caring for my dog really helps me stay in healthy routine. He eats on a schedule, needs a daily walk, etc. This stage of life makes me grateful for discipline from sports and for parents who modeled financial integrity, healthy eating habits, and spending time in nature. I can always fall back on these pillars.

    • @DoctorCharlesSophy
      @DoctorCharlesSophy ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Pets can be great motivators for staying active and organized.

    • @lisaalexander1824
      @lisaalexander1824 ปีที่แล้ว +28

      Wish I had that upbringing...no one thought to teach me ANYTHING, lol..i wasjust running around doing whatever..no conscious decisions, no data input from my family..pretty sure I bought my son up the same way..but his high school taught him self discipline, critical thinking and caring about others..

    • @wilycat5290
      @wilycat5290 ปีที่แล้ว +6

      Congratulations, sounds like you had great parents 😊

    • @Melchersson
      @Melchersson ปีที่แล้ว +17

      Im so grateful for having such a loving and caring companion as my beloved dog, Forrest! No matter how bad I feel I have to take care of him and I feel so much better after a walk with him in the worst part of my day which is in the morning. I went from laying in bed all day in a massive depression to having several hours of walking in the woods each day.
      My dog has literally saved my life.
      Reminding yourself of the things you're grateful for, is a great way to "rewire" your brain.
      I highly recommend a morning routine of writing a list if 10 things you are grateful for!

    • @rjay7019
      @rjay7019 ปีที่แล้ว +15

      Having my cat's and dog, chickens to take care of is the only reason I get up some days. I have always been a morning person and always wake up early.

  • @annetcell-ly4571
    @annetcell-ly4571 ปีที่แล้ว +20

    I’ve had the same routine for 50 years. Open the blinds and let the sunshine in, let me dog out for a wee and feed the cat, make a coffee and doodle in my journal and To Do list, make my bed and get ready for the day. It helps if I’ve prepared my work clothes or gym gear the night before.

  • @Aleatoire9
    @Aleatoire9 ปีที่แล้ว +189

    This was the most useful advice I've ever heard on morning routines. I have ADHD and my brain is bored the minute i wake up, so doomscrolling or plunging myself into stress immediately were the only ways i could wake up. Thank you so much - i am so tired of influencer advice on this topic, was so happy to hear you say that waking up early is not some badge of honour 😂

    • @Aleatoire9
      @Aleatoire9 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      The end of the video - excellent points! Most people aren't empowered or happy, which is just downright sad 😢 but it's so easy to just fall into their patterns to "fit in" ugh

    • @lisaalexander1824
      @lisaalexander1824 ปีที่แล้ว +9

      I bet there's a lot of older ppl who are still stuck in lockdown mode coz it made them lazy and realised the futility of being "BUSY"
      .

    • @oldschoolcars3318
      @oldschoolcars3318 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      IMHO, as I stated to the author up above, I do not believe some of this advice does not hold true for ADHD people. ADHD folks tend to have rhythms that are much more nocturnal AND research shows ADHD folk tend to be sensitive to light more so than neuro typs are. As someone with ADHD -CT with 93rd percentile for distraction I have found it immensely helpful to relate my bed times and rise times more to the sunrise and sunset than to the clock, as we ARE TIMEBLIND!. I have also found that any sleep music or meditation or brown or white noise at bedtime is best delivered with a blue tooth speaker with the phone in the other room so doomscrolling on wake up does not happen. Instead now, on waking, I slip into a pair of shorts and a tee and head for feeding cats and turning on the coffee. Prior to trying the bluetooth speaker I would keep my phone by the bed and set a 2nd alarm 15 minutes after the first alarm, but I found I would wake, start scrolling, blow past the second alarm, and waste way too much time on the phone. For me, Making a n "items I could do list" each evening followed by Placing an alarm clock by the bed with the speaker helped me to avoid the doom scrolling, has brought me quickly to coffee which I sip while reviewing the list I made last night. This means I dont have to think first thing in the AM and I can wake up at my own speed, which in turn has lifted the "emotional floor" I experience day to day. I tend to focus on attempting what is on the list rather than on finishing what is on the list which keeps pressure off me and ends in more things getting accomplished than on a doomscroll day.

    • @HedgewitchDenise1111
      @HedgewitchDenise1111 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

      I have an ADHD brain too, and this recommendation is one that resonated with me immediately. My time blindness is quite intense, so without a consistent structure and plan I'm constantly late and stressed.. I love this channel!

    • @jilli813
      @jilli813 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Thank you so much for what you do! It’s helped me so so much! 🙏

  • @RicharFarr
    @RicharFarr ปีที่แล้ว +22

    Bingo!! I am a 70 year old Viet Nam veteran. OUT OF ALL who I have sat with in therapy not once have I hear how to quit sabotaging my days. Mornings at times over the past have been close unsurvivable. But I did survive

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      Live is more than survival. My life feels like a constant combat zone and having been forced into situations of existential threat, I think we recreate those to prove to ourselves that we are still able to survive. This leads to needless energy loss and making us a target for people who spot our fighter spirit. Animals rarely are in fight or flight mode and drop it afterwards immediately. Only humans go into prolonged stress phases like war or work life. This means we are living contrary to biology but insist it has to be that way. A good fighter knows when not to fight and is no fighter as such but a capable human being fighting only when necessary. Working on it amidst a irrational societal setup ..

  • @judithkrmrs8533
    @judithkrmrs8533 ปีที่แล้ว +54

    Hearing all this from Somebody who hast really walked in my shoes is so much more powerful than any "good advice" a non-depressed person could ever offer. 🌈

  • @bonnacon1610
    @bonnacon1610 ปีที่แล้ว +95

    "Lose the morning, lose the day" has long been my motto, from bitter, hard-won (more often lost) experience. Thank you for this.

    • @xenatron9056
      @xenatron9056 ปีที่แล้ว +11

      When I was younger, I used to wake up at 5am, straight away walk across the road and go for a walk along the beach for one hour, alone. When I came back my day started with two young children and me working at a school and I tell you the truth, if there was any morning I missed my walk, my day was gone... it was like a clearing and organising space where my subconscious worked it all out from as I put one foot in front of the other. I have started taking my cats for a morning walk again now and surprisingly, the same thing happens. My days are so much more productive, my brain seems to be more organised. cheers.

    • @carladaniels7910
      @carladaniels7910 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      This is me, no routine, rush, work, home, relax, sleep, can't get things done. Love this, I need schedule, 2nd shifters is harder.

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Copying that into my journal, thank you.

  • @SimMess
    @SimMess ปีที่แล้ว +58

    I hate mornings. For sooo many reasons. I actually never liked them. My night dreams are always better than reality, I never feel like I had enough of sleep, mornings are a nightmare I'm waking up into. Even if I'm in a relatively good state of mind and my depression is in remission, mornings are still the worst part of my day.

    • @traciprovins3221
      @traciprovins3221 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

      Mine, too. Days are not so bad. My dog is the only thing that saves me in the mornings. But I hate waking up. You said it so well. Waking up is like leaving dreamland into a nightmare. I don’t know what to do. I love nights.

    • @reucat24
      @reucat24 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      mine too, been like that since i was a kid, used to dread mornings. i guess it is genetic or something is wrong in my brain.

    • @vulpixelful
      @vulpixelful 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      Me too. I wake up every morning hard-booted, like no memory of my identity even exists. I'll dread mornings even on days when I know something good will be happening. The only exception growing up was Christmas morning. Now, I scroll to remind me that fun stuff that makes me laugh exists in the world.

    • @susanmercurio1060
      @susanmercurio1060 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Maybe you're just a night person. Dr Smith at the University of Florida did sleep studies in the 1960s and he discovered that people are either day people or night people.

    • @susanmercurio1060
      @susanmercurio1060 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      ​@@reucat24It's not wrong. You may just be a night person. People are either day people or night people. There's no judgement about it.

  • @mfmdo
    @mfmdo ปีที่แล้ว +124

    I had a really good day yesterday as I finally had energy to clean my house and do some chores I had been neglecting due to a pretty depressive episode. After days like that I hesitate going to sleep mainly because I feel so good, that it scares me to think of how I’ll feel right as I wake up. Mornings have been really hard when I’m going through my depression and since I am currently unemployed and live alone, the motivation to do things really is not there. This video turned that fear that I had and my morning around today and for that I want to say thank you. As I started watching you gave me hope that even if I don’t have responsibilities to get to, I can structure some myself to get going. I got up, made my bed, had water, a smoothie, went on a walk, listened to a podcast, did a few minutes of yoga, had some breakfast and my dreadful morning feeling faded. I think it’s easy to forget how important routine and self care habits are when depressed or just in general, and I just wanted to say your video turned my day around. I am hopeful that i can stick to this and build enough habits that will guarantee a better start to my day. Thank you again for sharing such valuable content, and for the empathy and understanding you show through sharing your own experiences.

    • @DoctorCharlesSophy
      @DoctorCharlesSophy ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Building these habits can indeed make a significant difference. Keep up the good work, and remember that you're not alone on this journey. Sending you lots of positivity and encouragement!

    • @KarmasAbutch
      @KarmasAbutch ปีที่แล้ว +26

      You’re the only person Ive seen voice my fear of going to bed and dread of the me I get stuck with when I wake up from a nights sleep. It’s a vicious cycle.

    • @jeannefeldman8089
      @jeannefeldman8089 ปีที่แล้ว +7

      @@KarmasAbutchsame

    • @JillofAllTrades2
      @JillofAllTrades2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@jeannefeldman8089Yep. Here too.

    • @saintejeannedarc9460
      @saintejeannedarc9460 ปีที่แล้ว +14

      @@KarmasAbutch Sometimes the only time I feel half way good is late at night. I definitely don't want to fall asleep too early and will sometimes fight sleep. It's pretty rare I feel this way, so I can relate to that dread of falling asleep to morning hell. I would like to find a way to not hate mornings so much. It's my worst time though. What helps me get through is the worst of it usually lifts when I'm well awake, which can take a few hours.

  • @BucksMom218
    @BucksMom218 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

    Im out the door walking w one eye open…dog demands. I get to take inventory, reaffirm Im ok, maybe say hi to a neighbor, enjoy the sunrise…it sets the tone for my day(most of the time) If things go wrong that early, a shower washes that off and I get to start again. Built in safety nets for mishaps😏
    I worked nights for 25 years, now live an early day routine because of a dog. It is great for me now. Thanks for your videos…they are spot on. 😎🥾🥾🐾🐾

  • @tjt955
    @tjt955 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +9

    This is exactly what I needed to hear. I'm 69, live alone and after an otherwise successful career a restructuring resulted in the decision several years ago to retire unprepared. I have very few social obligations and so I go to bed whenever and get up whenever. I have ADHD and suffer from depression and anxiety. This isn't the life I expected nor want. There are so many gems gleaned from this talk and so I've listened to it several times and taken copious notes. A huge THANK YOU for this talk... it will change my life!

  • @Anotherhumanexisting
    @Anotherhumanexisting ปีที่แล้ว +47

    I need to accept that I have delayed sleep phase syndrome and that anytime I have work that starts before 11am I will have that miserable rushing to get ready from the second I wake up… working an afternoon job was so good for my physical and mental health that I could do exactly that, slowly start my day with chores, cleaning, shower, exercise then go to work. But our cultural expectations of starting work early in the morning make that hard to find…

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Feeling very much the same. Listening to the video I realise that early on in my life waking up was an issue: either nobody there or a forced waking up. However serene I was as a child later, I reckon that made me dread the moment of waking up once societal pressure arose. And then no matter what the time was, I took ages to "land" unless I was forced into action. As being good at quick starting / acceleration once I'm fully "landed', I could make myself jump start. A disrupted routine at work during the day makes me long for times when I'm secure from interruption. In a society that loves getting up in the dark (biologically stupid), the best option was to stay up late. It takes energy to shield oneself from urban vibrations of stress on a week day. That's why these days I would rather be up earlier on a weekend and enjoy the quietness than expose myself to that ridiculous overindustrious routine of society.

    • @suzanmiller558
      @suzanmiller558 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I am retired now but most of my life I worked 9-5 and always felt I was allergic to waking up early. I am definitely not a morning person. In my later working days I worked 11-7 or later shifts and it was more doable for me.

    • @Gerrly
      @Gerrly 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      I also have delayed sleep phase disorder. It’s really difficult! I have no empathy from my husband. I am constantly failing at life.

    • @sjj7236
      @sjj7236 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      I have been a Teacher for years and hated getting up early, I have mostly moved to working as a Disability Support Worker and have mostly taken shifts starting at 11am, or 2pm. Then I work until 10pm and sleepover then start 6-9am and somehow because I'm already at work and the morning shift is short, and my work day is done. I'm OK with it, strange, but now only have a couple of morning shifts and so far I'm loving it.

    • @nanetten6238
      @nanetten6238 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +5

      Please be kinder and gentler to yourself. @@Gerrly

  • @TimYong2
    @TimYong2 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    Waking up, rushing to get out the door is very stressful. Waking up to stress every day is not good. I left my 9-5 job, and picked up a second shift job, as it seems to fit more with my natural sleep cycle. I picked up a part-time, fun job (working with dogs) that I do for 2-3 hours each day before my regular job. Now i wake up without an alarm every day, feel a lot better, use the buffer time for coffee, breakfast and personal errands or to do things around the house. I then go to my fun job, and finish with my regular job. I'm a lot less stressed, in decent shape and my wife definitely appreciates my positive energy and lower anxiety levels.
    Taking "me time" in the mornings when I can is a BIG help!

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Great life changes, being realistic about who you are. Encouraging to hear.

  • @gerafinali4384
    @gerafinali4384 ปีที่แล้ว +10

    If I could achieve what you do in your morning within my whole day, that would be a game changer.

  • @jorgeaugustoamorimdesousa1120
    @jorgeaugustoamorimdesousa1120 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +8

    Thank you doctor. To look after ourselves is a 24 hour job. It’s our responsibility to so, in name of our mental and physical health. One of the things I do when negative thoughts and anxiety sets in, I fight back and say to myself : no hurry and no anxiety, I’m going to do everything I need to do today, even if I have to do them in slow motion.

  • @abhilipsasharma2077
    @abhilipsasharma2077 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    This is me almost every single morning and then I just stop doing anything because I just end up hating myself. I am going to apply this as of now. Thank you so much.

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      You got this!

    • @Dani-ICU-RN
      @Dani-ICU-RN ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Even at 5 a.m. it's too freaking hot and humid here to enjoy any kind of walk, back when I could walk

    • @Dani-ICU-RN
      @Dani-ICU-RN ปีที่แล้ว +3

      So.. your 5:00 a.m. is your alone time and your downtime where are some of us wait for everyone to go to sleep, and that's our afternoon at midnight 1:00 a.m.😮

  • @outdoorfr3ak
    @outdoorfr3ak ปีที่แล้ว +9

    I'm learning that the loss of my dog isn't just a mental block but physical morning routine thing as well. It used to be, up, feed him and make coffee then we'd go spend 30 min to an hour outside

  • @PolarBearChicky
    @PolarBearChicky ปีที่แล้ว +31

    I know 100% that this advice is true, but what do you do if the thing you love to do most is to sleep? If there is one thing I would always want to indulge in, its taking a nap, switching my brain off for a few minutes to just stop everything because the world is so overwhelming.

    • @jairschirmer9867
      @jairschirmer9867 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Sleep. but not too much during day time.
      He probably can't sleep much, mental illness usually comes with insomnia.
      I wake up 5 to 6 no matter what time i go to sleep 😔

    • @PolarBearChicky
      @PolarBearChicky 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      @@jairschirmer9867 I'm painfully aware of the symptom of insomnia 😭. I'm pretty much always either suffering from it or from not being able to do anything except sleep. I wish I could just be normal and sleep 8 hours at night and wake up refreshed.

    • @attheranch873
      @attheranch873 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      We don’t all sleep the same, what works for one person won’t work for another. Do what feels best for you. He’s talking about what feels best for him.

  • @ColorWhiz
    @ColorWhiz ปีที่แล้ว +32

    I miraculously found your content last night after more than 6 months of FREEZE, so today I started my day with another of your videos about intentionally creating a morning routine, which got me to reschedule my iPhone sleep schedule to every day. Then started another vid while sitting in bed, and decided to keep listening but get ready to leave the house. I have just deleted 4 of my 6 little game apps (solitaire and similar), tidied my bedroom a bit, and decided my morning routine will involve listening to one of your vids while taking my morning coffee and readying myself to leave the house. It’s a beginning.

  • @RoquetSynce
    @RoquetSynce ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I can start every day with a win just by getting up and making my bed. It's my first accomplishment of the day that I have complete control over.

  • @TheNiteinjail
    @TheNiteinjail ปีที่แล้ว +17

    If I could sleep any type of regular pattern in my whole life ... I'd have done it already. Intractable insomnia is so common with mental health issues that you really ought to preface that advice with tons of "if you can..." Instead of "it's so important...".
    It doesn't really matter how important something is if it's out of the realm of possible.

    • @TenaciousSLG
      @TenaciousSLG ปีที่แล้ว +5

      I felt kinda the same way when I heard the morning exercise talk starting. I know how important it is, but especially when just taking a shower feels like a huge energy expenditure, throw delayed sleep phase syndrome in there and a stressful job that starts at 8 or 9 am and you’re screwed from the get-go regardless.

  • @davidsimpson7307
    @davidsimpson7307 ปีที่แล้ว +66

    Thank you Dr. Eilers, This is great advice My husband and I were able to retire early by following these exact things you've mentioned. Unfortunately my husband got sick 3 yrs ago and passed away last yr. Even though caring for him was exhausting I still got up early. I found that the early morning was the most relaxing time for me and I could enjoy the peace and quiet with a coffee. It helped me keep myself together mentally and emotionally. I still do it now and if for some reason I sleep in I feel like I've missed the best part of the day. This really does help.

    • @DoctorCharlesSophy
      @DoctorCharlesSophy ปีที่แล้ว +10

      I'm truly sorry to hear about your husband. Your commitment to self-care and finding moments of peace in the early morning is inspiring. Keep taking care of yourself, and thank you for sharing your experience.

    • @davidsimpson7307
      @davidsimpson7307 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@DoctorCharlesSophy Thank you. It's been a long road for me. We only retired a yr before he became ill and were in the process of building our home adding even more stress and anxiety to life in general. Moving to a different state away from the support of friends made it even more challenging.

    • @franceshorton918
      @franceshorton918 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Greetings from Auckland New Zealand 🇳🇿 - so sorry to hear of your loss. It's a huge re-adjustment to learn to live without someone close to your heart. Takes time, strength, and patience with oneself 💛
      Bless you on your journey, and I hope the choices ahead of you are all good ones! 🤗

  • @Notmyrealname099
    @Notmyrealname099 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I spent 3 years in psychotherapy after being in multiple traumatic situations. Non of these routines were even brought up to me by my therapist (it from state medical care in Europe), I had to look for it online, I had to try everything I could to understand, that the system’s therapist just doesn’t give a **** about my outcome. How else can it be explained if none of the useful information about getting my life under control was ever mentioned in sessions.
    Thank you dr. Scott what you are talking about here is exactly how I got myself out from a deep depression state into mostly just mild depression and anhedonia. Life still doesn’t feel like a great movie, but it’s the best had in my life. Thank you for validating and confirming the truth about how life looks from the perspective of mental illness.

  • @catriona_drummond
    @catriona_drummond ปีที่แล้ว +6

    My morning routine back in the time used to be: get up at 5:45, be out of the house at 6:04 (no coffee, nothing), walk to work at speed, arrive at 6:32, make tea. And then I sat down at my desk, before everybody else was in, no phone ringing - and read the economy newspaper for an hour. 07:30 I started with my work, well informed and relaxed.
    That was good, I was a well oiled machine, functioning perfectly. But I also was a machine. I want some of that routine back but I don't want to trade my soul back in for it.

  • @director2bob
    @director2bob ปีที่แล้ว +25

    When you suffer from depression, night time is always my favorite time of the day. Waking up is always is such a miserable time because it means I did not die in my sleep. I am going to try something new and go to sleep tonight at 10:30 pm and wake up at 7:30. am. Gonna make bed, brush teeth, and start working on something that creates so much anxiety which is a legal situation I can no longer put off. It's such a stressful activity interviewing attorneys. I read a book a long time ago by Brian Tracy called Eat that Frog meaning if you do the most unpleasant activity first thing in the morning, the rest of the day will seem so much easier. Procrastination is a slow killer as least for me. I love this channel. I am wondering if you offer private zoom calls with patients. I believe you may be a DR who can finally get into my head and help me with my mental illness. God Bless you Dr. Eilers. You have given me optimism for the first time in years.

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      But the issue is that we then either continue that way or feel we always have to earn our day, our living - not our livelihood.

    • @candaceriffel8974
      @candaceriffel8974 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      He’s amazing. Ever since I found his work online, I am trying hard to understand his lessons.
      Good Luck to you! 😊⭐️

  • @petermacklin7870
    @petermacklin7870 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Been doing a morning routine this summer.. Wake up at 5:00-5:30 (no alarm). Get up and get comfy clothes on from last night. Exercise the dogs 0.5 to 0.75 miles. (Do this in the morning, especially in the summer) and then come back in, head upstairs for a shower, and get dressed for the day. Then coffee, a little chit-chat with the family, and then off to work. I'm not saying I am living an extraordinary life, but my mornings have gotten markedly better as time goes on.

  • @tenielles4623
    @tenielles4623 ปีที่แล้ว +44

    Yes! Found some golden advice. These days you really have to filter out the information to find some value. I’m excited to have found you. The way you can articulate what’s going on in my head has given me hope in itself. 😢 thank you!

  • @jimscott1246
    @jimscott1246 3 วันที่ผ่านมา

    I never pull the shade down in my east facing window. I let the morning want me. As I gaze at the sunrise I can find no reason to fault the start of my day. This is life's free gift to me. From there I go immediately swimming or go walking for four miles. At seventy four years old I have to be grateful for the ability to do this. Suddenly my day has started with an abundance of positive energy. Lucky me. It does ward off my strong tendency to be melancholy. So when I do come across your podcast I now feel like I also have friend helping me with the mental quandaries that never seem to stop. I value you.

  • @Sal.K--BC
    @Sal.K--BC 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +16

    I wake up VERY anxious and panicky most mornings... I can't stand it! The night before when I'm feeling ok I usually think "OK, I'm going to get this and this done tomorrow" and then the next morning I wake up feeling like DEATH and can't get anything done. It's the same vicious cycle over and over almost every day...

    • @Aunt.Bebs.daughter
      @Aunt.Bebs.daughter 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

      I empathize 100%. I have optimism the night before that I'm going to handle the next morning and work day much better, but then I fail the next morning. Then I beat myself up for not being able to do it. But I want to try the technique in this video. I am the type that does nothing for a bit in the morning and then starts getting ready to go to work. It gives me too much time to start feeling tired, anxious, depressed, and to start doubting myself. Then I can't follow through.

    • @carolgeorge6409
      @carolgeorge6409 5 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @sal. Same

    • @CL-mn1yq
      @CL-mn1yq 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Might be a physical component like need for iron, vit d or b or dopamine (l-tyrosine)

  • @blingblingtea5266
    @blingblingtea5266 ปีที่แล้ว +26

    Can confirm, sleeping and waking up in time been the best thing I ever did for my disorders and even life in general. My special alone time at night was moved into the morning, the morning became my special alone time. Seriously. This is the best advice ever for mental health and general planning

  • @melissadaniels9759
    @melissadaniels9759 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Your opening statement had me in tears because its me for the past 3 years and you are the only person that has made me feel like im ok in the sense that im not alone and not crazy I thank you from the bottom all the way to the top of my heart you are amazing i only wish you could be my doctor i gave up on all of the drs I had have not seen any kind for the pat 2 years.

  • @lailanitukuafu
    @lailanitukuafu ปีที่แล้ว +21

    I really love this video. I watched it for the first time about a week or two ago and he really inspired me to try as hard as I can to maintain a consistent sleep schedule. I've hated mornings for most of my life and my sleep has been all over the place, twelve hours one day and three hours the next. I've tried so hard for so long to get up when I should, but nothing has ever worked (especially with the range of mental health conditions I have).
    Recently, I've been going to bed at around 1:00am-3:00am and trying to wake up at like 6:30am. Obviously it was a struggle every day. But let me tell you, this video is magic. For the last week, I've been doing everything I could to get in bed by 10:00pm and get out of bed at 6:00am. And it's been WORKING. I haven't been sleepy at 2:00am in quite a while, but now I start to feel tired at around 9:00pm?? And even though it still hasn't been particularly easy to get up to my alarm, I've actually been conscious and energized enough by then to do it anyway and that was never possible before. This is really huge for me.
    And okay, it's not like I've never heard of a circadian rhythm before or like I thought my sleep hygiene was great. I knew I should be going to bed much sooner and waking up on time, but it just didn't seem possible for me. I also really do enjoy the quiet, dim, relaxed environment that the insanely late hours bring. But for someone who also struggles with severe depression and anxiety to say that it works, that is SO much more convincing to me than some super productive, super hyper person trying to shame or scare me into it. He's not aggressive or judgemental, and he knows what it's like. His motivation for saying this is to actually help people stop hating the mornings instead of trying to change people's lifestyles into the most efficient they can be. I didn't feel shamed into doing anything, it felt possible because he's done it, he made some excellent points about how awesome it can feel, and he also gave a very practical and reasonable plan of action. I thought it would take, like, at least a month to fix my circadian rhythm and no one's ever told me otherwise. That's one of the reasons I never thought I could do it. But "a couple weeks, max"? That was incredibly encouraging to me, and I've already noticed drastic improvements within just one week. I literally cannot describe how grateful I am for this channel as a whole

    • @denisealexander7317
      @denisealexander7317 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I'm so happy for you!!!

    • @milawong4718
      @milawong4718 5 หลายเดือนก่อน

      5am got easier. But 9pm is still hard! Especially when you can listen to the only person that seems to understand me.

  • @redinabloogs8477
    @redinabloogs8477 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    This is wat I do sometimes...
    I sleep in my bed the wrong way round..so my head where my feet should be...so my head is by the window 🪟 and I leave the curtains open...this way when I wake up I can lay there and look at the sky. It's a wonderful way to start the day. Watching the sky change color or shapes in the clouds. I highly recommend 🥰 hope this helps someone 💕 TC 🙂

    • @matthiusantonin2652
      @matthiusantonin2652 ปีที่แล้ว

      I’d get too much sun exposure every day - have thought of doing the same.

    • @redinabloogs8477
      @redinabloogs8477 ปีที่แล้ว

      @matthiusantonin2652 if there is a way u can close the curtains while ur still in bed...with a walking stick, maybe? or something like.
      u can also lay there and look at the stars 🌟 too and close them b4 u get too much sun 🌞.
      It's like being a kid again,.. laying on the ground outside, looking up at the skies 🙃

  • @debbieporter6581
    @debbieporter6581 ปีที่แล้ว +41

    Every morning I wake up wishing it was time to go back to sleep.. I hate my life and how I feel every single day. It doesn't get better. I've heard that for way too long..Years of being lied to.

    • @FatimaParker-g9h
      @FatimaParker-g9h 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      Hi ther. I have a problem sleeping my brain doesn't switch off i must take mylam alprazalam to sleep .i take it st 10 .awake at 2 . can't get bck to sleep. Lay awake do my prayer at 4.30. but im aleays so restless .im a house wife i feel like im not getting enough sleep. Looking for advise to feeel happy.

    • @edie4321
      @edie4321 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

      @@FatimaParker-g9h, How is your relationship with your husband. I was a house wife and my ex was emotionally abusive. I had no idea I was being abused as he was no longer being physical. I joined a 12 step support group and soon learned that I was valuable. I never would have known that due to the way my family and husband treated me. I do hopee you can find your value. You are lovable.

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@FatimaParker-g9h Hi. We wrote above about carbs before bed helping, but I'll put it here, too, so you might see it. "Totally agree about carbs and milk before bed. Even on rare occasions when I am over-caffeinated and staring at the ceiling, a bowl of Rice Chex with milk will knock me out cold until morning. My whole family uses this. Even during times of high family stress when none of us could sleep, we would look at each other, say, "Rice Chex!", run in the kitchen and have some, and it always worked." Also, flannel pants and socks, even if you don't feel cold, even if you have blankets heaped on you. Rice Chex and flannel pants.

    • @joedirt3563
      @joedirt3563 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

      ​@@FG-ie7cucarbs might help you get to sleep but they don't give you good sleep.

    • @merriferrell2818
      @merriferrell2818 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I understand

  • @mar2nya789
    @mar2nya789 ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank you, it makes lot of sense. No incoherent, "sciency" mambo-jumbo, just good and doable helpful advice.

    • @KaoXoni
      @KaoXoni ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Yup. I think you accurately described the signature of this channel and what I instantly came to love about it.

  • @lloydeneweiks9621
    @lloydeneweiks9621 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Thank you so much for this video, I'm retired, live alone and have gotten into the habit of staying up late because it is quiet, I can concentrate and work on art projects. However when I do this, many times my mornings last half the day, which I hate. I do walk daily but never fix my hair or wear anything but sweats! Now, I understand how important a morning routine really is. Add anxiety and depression to an already crappy routine and I'm sure not helping myself. Thank you once again.

  • @Plethorality
    @Plethorality ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Waking up in the morning would be a win. Still being awake since 2 30 in the morning is not a win. Got to sleep after twelve. Woke up at 1 30, but got back to sleep til 2 30... Now it is 7 am and today is just a prolonged horrible yesterday.. a nightmare would have been welcomed as it would mean i was asleep. .
    But i was more awake than i am now, writing this. Not lying there, thinking i am awake, on no. Properly awake.
    So today can mean seizures all day. I hate insomnia.

    • @sandrabentley8111
      @sandrabentley8111 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      After midnight, the body cannot form beta waves apparently. Try to get to bed well before midnight.

  • @amethystrocks6433
    @amethystrocks6433 ปีที่แล้ว +38

    Excellent suggestions!
    Would you please address what to do for people who cannot control their schedules? For instance, those with infants or small children who wake frequently, people who have irregular work schedules, college students who work evening jobs and have to be up early for class, older people who have trouble falling or staying asleep, those with medical conditions (e.g., chronic pain) that interfere with regular sleep patterns?
    Thanks!

    • @JillofAllTrades2
      @JillofAllTrades2 ปีที่แล้ว +4

      Yes, thank you! I am recovering from surgery so the pain has been a PITA and so disruptive to any kind of routine.

    • @TheJessica4783
      @TheJessica4783 ปีที่แล้ว +3

      Thank you! I was watching this video and panicking! I work two different shifts throughout the week and literally cannot go to bed the same time each night to get up at the same time each day. I hope he gives some insight on this question!

    • @humanbean4037
      @humanbean4037 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Yes I was annoyed over this 😅 I’m not old but I’ve had insomnia since I was very young and I can do my best to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day but it’s a gamble if it’s actually going to happen or not

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@JillofAllTrades2 My mother always said during family illness or crises that we had entered, "Eat when you can, sleep when you can" mode. But that was not our norm.

  • @stevec404
    @stevec404 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    "Buried in stress" is my typical wake up routine...until tomorrow morning! I love the idea of a leisurely morning walk. Here on the East Coast we have hardy winters as you do. My suburban neighborhood is boring (I walked it twice...that was enough). Tomorrow I will bundle up for the snow and the rain, drive to a nearby park, and have an enjoyable stroll.

  • @DanEngell
    @DanEngell ปีที่แล้ว +13

    Thank you Dr. Scott for another great video! I was a certified Night Owl for 35+ years. Part of this was probably related to the era of live television, i.e. no time shifting, and my love for the late night comedy/talk shows. During college I proudly only missed David Letterman 13 times and this was when it aired from 12:30 to 1:30am on the west coast. After fixing my eating plan about 6 years ago (lost 40 lbs. and have kept it off), and getting my exercise dialed in 4-5 years ago, I started learning about circadian rhythms. I've learned a good morning routine starts the night before. I turn off all the overhead lights by 7:30pm and see my way around with a few dim lamps or night lights to start my natural production of melatonin. I also give it a boost with 1mg of melatonin as a supplement along with some other herbs and supps that I rotate through. By 8:00pm I am getting drowsy and make sure to floss/brush because bedtime is coming soon. I have blue light blockers on my screens that come on automatically/gradually with sunset. I've discovered my ultimate sleep window is 9pm to 5am! I happily enjoy waking up without an alarm 95% of the time. I built my own set up of BRIGHT, 5-6,000K lights that I fire up at 5:00am. This also contributes to me getting drowsy earlier the following evening. My friends say that I've become a Health Nerd which is true but I really have loved the process and I agree with everything you said re: Dave Ramsey, and living in a way that works for me. I can't control my genetics or the crazy childhood I survived but I can certainly control a lot of factors that fall into the category of brain health and maintenance.

    • @halcyon-cg2eb
      @halcyon-cg2eb ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Impressive! I love it when people take charge of their own health : )

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I love the idea of having the early morning lights, because when I wake up at 5 a.m. and it's dark, I'm like, "I am NOT getting up in the dark!" and I go back to sleep, but sometimes end up sleeping until 9, which is far too late.

    • @DanEngell
      @DanEngell 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@FG-ie7cu Try the LED "Daylight" bulbs, not the "Soft White". You want a color temperature 5,000-6,000K (Kelvin rating). Getting in the rhythm of having those things in my face gets my day rolling and getting drowsy 16 hours later is almost a given. I put 3 sockets on a board with a cord going to them and I have it next to my laptop. I also put those bulbs in my kitchen fixtures. I wake up to a sunny day every morning and it is especially helpful in the winter months.

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@DanEngell Thank you very much for taking the time to explain this. It is kind of you. I know how to do light wiring and can make this happen. Now that I think of it, we used to have "daylighting" in the Proposals room at work, so that people could work on tight-deadline proposals around the clock and you really could not tell what time it was in there. It always seemed about noon or so. I like your auto-timed blue-light screen, as well.

  • @HermesTheLoser
    @HermesTheLoser ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I feel proud about waking up early simply because it’s been tough for me to do all of my life. Oversleeping/staying in bed all day is something that I’ve overcome though being disciplined and rigid with my sleep/wake schedule. I don’t think im better than anyone else just because I wake up earlier, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being proud of it, and proud that you’ve found a routine that finally makes your life make sense.

  • @abbykoop5363
    @abbykoop5363 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    I needed to hear this. My work schedule is varied and I really have NO routine in my life. Much of it stems from feeling "controlled" much of my life, and my rebellious inner child screamed...."I'm gonna do what I want, when I want"! But yeah...I don't enjoy my life so much any more. It's SO hard to get out of bed and get going in the morning. Then I seem to "wake up" around 4pm...scramble to get things done in the evening, and wind up awake until midnight or 2am. I have tried setting my alarm even on my days off, but it was too easy to just turn it off and go back to sleep. Hearing the reasons behind all of this helps me a lot. I keep saying I need to reset my circadian rhythm, but I couldn't. With this extra information, I will try again. Thanks so much for sharing your knowledge!

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      I had forgotten all about circadian rhythms. Excited to try.

  • @julieolson1402
    @julieolson1402 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    EXTREMELY HELPFUL! As a former nocturnal critical care nurse, the greatest moment of clarity was during your discussion of circadian rhythms. But, it was all helpful. Your video helped with prioritizing all the info I already knew into something I can use.

  • @EtherTheReal
    @EtherTheReal ปีที่แล้ว +10

    I feel like ive been trying to live a life most people are living while having a body and brain thats not like most people. Im not disabled or anything but from my circadian rhythm to the things im interested in, the things that fulfill me to the things that cause me stress and anxiety - its different for me apparently and when i get what i enjoy i feel like my brain body and i enjoy life alot more. Thank you Dr Eilers for your eye-opening video(s)🙏🏼❤

    • @shelleykapp9637
      @shelleykapp9637 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Yes! I've said, "I'm a second-shift person loving in a first-shift world".

    • @EtherTheReal
      @EtherTheReal ปีที่แล้ว

      @@shelleykapp9637 ill remember that one, "a second shift person living in a first shift world" 🤔

  • @KarmasAbutch
    @KarmasAbutch ปีที่แล้ว +2

    This is the first time I’ve listened all the way through to a Morning Routine anything - and came back to find it again!! ❤ 🙏
    Life Hack & Side Hustle culture is so damn toxic. 🚫

  • @jeffs_r_us7166
    @jeffs_r_us7166 17 วันที่ผ่านมา

    Mornings used to be special to me as a kid. I would always wake up early, like 6, even on weekends, before anyone else was awake, and I’d sneak downstairs and watch my favorite TV shows with the volume turned super low so I wouldn’t wake anyone. I could just have my little secret me-time until the house woke up and the day got started. I’ve been missing those mornings for years. I really appreciate this video.

  • @Nyip2344
    @Nyip2344 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Bought his book from Amazon I was so impressed. Digressing I know, but for me, personally, it also helps that he's very clearly spoken and I can actually hear what he's saying. Thank you 👍

  • @trudymeans3520
    @trudymeans3520 ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Wow! You rock! Especially starting around the 22-minute mark, what you advise is just so spot on. Anyone who has mental health struggles needs to hear this first and foremost. I have ADHD and (mostly because of it) have struggled with overwhelm and anxiety issues most of my life. Establishing healthy routines has really been the number one factor in getting and maintaining a pretty happy and successful life. While my brain screams "squirrel" at bright and shiny things, what it really NEEDS is stability and quiet. Realizing this changed my life. Preach it, Dr. Scott! YOU are helping to change the world for the better. Thank you for all that you're doing! (As an aside, my morning routine includes prayer. I meditate later in the day, but praying first thing sets the mood for my day of being grateful and positive. Not everyone's thing, but it's "my" equivalent of your walk with the owls.)

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  ปีที่แล้ว +9

      Thank you!! This morning it was cows instead of owls 😁

    • @trudymeans3520
      @trudymeans3520 ปีที่แล้ว +5

      @@DrScottEilers LOL! I moved from Florida to Kansas last year after the death of my husband from Covid. I just felt the Midwest peacefulness calling me. I'm beginning to appreciate the cow thing too. LOL! :-)

    • @JillofAllTrades2
      @JillofAllTrades2 ปีที่แล้ว

      @@DrScottEilersLOL! ANYTHING in nature is great to connect with!

  • @laurenmariemills12
    @laurenmariemills12 ปีที่แล้ว +29

    This was really helpful and well done video - I appreciate your methodical approach and lack of fear mongering or overly simplistic “just do this” kind of advice. My husband and I watched together, what you shared made sense to us, and now we’re on week 2 of waking up and going to bed at the same time every day. Thanks for sharing your perspective!

  • @iannorton2253
    @iannorton2253 ปีที่แล้ว +8

    Very helpful and insightful advice - thank you. I live with long-term depression& anxiety and have never been as attentive to my own wellbeing as I should, due to trying (and often failing) to live a 'normal' life; i.e. as though I hadn't got those symptoms to contend with, as though they will somehow go away if I do this. I've no real routine, apart from having to be at work at certain times of the day; I work shifts, which can make a regular going to bed and getting up time difficult. I want to be more disciplined with regard to keeping to a schedule of some kind. On my days off work I just get up at whatever time I wake up (frequently after an unsettled night's sleep full of weird dreams or nightmares), with intentions to get stuff done, but find myself procrastinating and bumbling through the day; ultimately, not much does get done and I end up feeling like I've cheated myself out of the day, with all the guilt and self-admonishment that comes with it. I know that I have to do things differently and pro-actively for my life to be different and more satisfying.

    • @franceshorton918
      @franceshorton918 ปีที่แล้ว

      Greetings from Auckland New Zealand, and hi Ian. I appreciate your post, and have had many of the same problems.
      I've recently found "Crappy Childhood Fairy" posting on TH-cam.
      As a survivor of Childhood PTSD, I've learned that procrastination, self sabotage, clutter, and a sense of failure, are all symptoms of this.
      If you wish, check it out.
      May Spirit keep you safe and well always 💛

  • @josephgiri2398
    @josephgiri2398 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    The last few minutes of your talk are particularly important, thank you.

  • @rhondar4063
    @rhondar4063 ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I've watched a couple of your videos and I've gotten the whole lot out of it, in part because I can tell you can relate and you're breaking it down in a way I can understand. I'm about 7 years jumped off the train of life now... Had a terrible childhood thought I overcame it, had a real tragedy happened along with my son getting on drugs it's starting to narcissistically verbally abuse me and to treat me horribly... It's going to be hard but I'm worth it. I've been on this journey of healing and walking up and out of depression for a while that it's been so long it's hard. I just watched the one about my dreams dying that happened before my man. Had three surgeries on my upper neck and now I'm physically ill from stress and depression. Giving my son a 60-day notice again that will turn into a restraining order but I have to do it

    • @JillofAllTrades2
      @JillofAllTrades2 ปีที่แล้ว

      You can do it! And you should. Not only for your own health and sanity, but without lessons from you about what’s OK and what’s not, you’ll be foisting someone who sounds feral onto the rest of us. Please do take care of yourself and do not let him abuse you! Best of luck with drawing your line in the sand! Beware the “extinction burst” where whatever anyone’s been doing to keep you under their thumb they will do it harder and louder to make their point and get you back in line when you start putting an end to their bullying manipulative tactics.

  • @grammyrosethompson650
    @grammyrosethompson650 ปีที่แล้ว +14

    Thank you! I only found you a week or so ago, and have watched a couple of your videos, but this video made me a real fan!!
    Not because you told me what I wanted to hear but bc you told me what I "NEEDED" to hear.
    I have always known I do better with a routine and then the past few years my mornings have been awful, almost non existent. Almost like I don't have a morning and I cannot get going for anything until afternoon.
    It will be hard for me to make a good morning routine, bc my husband works nights and I don't sleep well when he isn't home and end up with insomnia on the nights he is at work.
    But maybe just maybe trying your ideas out may change all that for me.
    Thank you! I hope I can do this! Wish me luck!

  • @Mandy-gz1xl
    @Mandy-gz1xl ปีที่แล้ว +12

    Thank you. Please keep making videos. You are so refreshing, and you’re talking about a lot of things 99% of people aren’t (or at least aren’t correctly 😄). This video really reminded me of some things I’ve forgotten. And I’ve been an insomniac since I was 5 years old. So I’ve had a ton of sleep studies and everything you can imagine. NO ONE has ever mentioned switching your “me time” to the morning! That’s such a good idea!
    I think my insomnia started mostly because of the abuse I went through growing up. I actually felt like I could breathe, relax, be me, etc when everyone else was asleep. So in addition to physical illnesses, it’s become something I haven’t been able to change.
    I know you can’t give specific advice. But in a general way (like you talk in these videos), what do you recommend as a work through, mindset change, practical changes, etc for someone who has had that “night is safe” experience for many decades, but they’re now living alone so don’t have to worry about the abusers waking up in the morning?
    I hope to see a reply, as that’s something no therapist or anyone I’ve ever listened to/read, etc has ever gotten into. And it’s more common than many think.
    You know, it’d make an amazing video! Haha
    Anyway, thanks again! Sooo glad I found your channel. I subscribed. :)

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  ปีที่แล้ว +6

      It can be helpful to work on gradual change. Maybe working on transferring your night to morning one part at a time rather than all at once ❤️

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Did you ever do trauma therapy?

  • @mcseamuscoy9526
    @mcseamuscoy9526 ปีที่แล้ว +16

    You’ve been so helpful to me over the last few weeks that I’ve been listening. I can’t thank you enough!

  • @robertholland7558
    @robertholland7558 ปีที่แล้ว +6

    Loving my morning routine, making a cup of tea, crossing the road into the cemetery, pausing at the memorial monument 🏛️ for some reflection and contemplation, then go home, do some yoga, shower have breakfast and face the the rest of the day.

  • @FSCHW
    @FSCHW ปีที่แล้ว +15

    I hate going to bed because I hate getting up. Average 3 hours sleeps a night. Up at 5 work starts at 6. Go to bed by 8 but am awake to 1 or 2. At least 1 night a week there is no sleep, up for 40 + hours. I’d need to get up at 4 to get that upward curve.

    • @shtfvan8084
      @shtfvan8084 ปีที่แล้ว +2

      Try eating a plain baked potato and drinking a glass of milk 2hr before bed. Helps

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      That, and put on long flannel pants and socks even if you don't feel very cold. Rice Chex and flannel pants. : -)

    • @WaryofExtremes
      @WaryofExtremes 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

      So relatable

    • @nedcramdon1306
      @nedcramdon1306 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Same here and this was my life for decades. it ruins your body and mind. Always pissed off at everything.
      I started eating actual real food. Not the garbage I was eating every single day.
      I eat some form of meat every day and very little wheat(flour) products and pasta maybe1 or 2 times a month max.
      Sleep better than I have in 30 years. Most people are poisoned by low grade food and feel absolutely horrible.

    • @FSCHW
      @FSCHW 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@nedcramdon1306 we eat decent food. Especially in summer. We have 4 raised beds. Tomato’s, cucumbers, radishes, collard greens, Swiss chard, peppers, celery, beans, squash, peas. And we only eat red meat maybe once a month otherwise chicken and fish are our proteins. Too much responsibility and stress. Look up Revenge Sleep Procrastination and Sleep Halucinations.

  • @suap309
    @suap309 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I get up at 8am, I read the Bible and pray. I have light breakfast, yoga, meditation and breathwork, i walk my cats in the forest ,I journal and paint.
    I attend a zoom ACA 12 step meeting (for adult children of dysfunctional parents ie I have CPTSD). I fall asleep by then.
    I need to meet friends rather than text them because i get lonely isolating myself a lot and doing tons of self-care.
    I have chronic insomnia so I only use a small amount of energy before i find I've fallen asleep. This nap destroys my sleep at night, so I'm going to go to bed later when I'm absolutely exausted, and make sure i get up the same time every day.

  • @RuthKirkpatrick
    @RuthKirkpatrick ปีที่แล้ว +3

    I'm always thankful to wake up a morning, but recently, a medication makes apprehension, because it makes me feel jittery and creates some fear. This goes on for about 2 hours. And unfortunately I know many who also struggle with medication side effects. Facing that daily alone can be a depressing result. But, my lifelong thankfulness is what I refuse to lose. A little wake up saying helps me, maybe it will other. Thank you, Lord, for this day, and a life to live with a name to live it through. I hope that resonates for others. At 80 years of age, it is genuine gratitude, and now this site with the insights will add to the help. and I'm changing a couple of things to steer me away from the morning pill apprehensions. But, honestly, this last year took me down to a level of depression I thought I could not break. Health was the reason. So thank you Dr. Scott, I'm subscribed and looking forward to the next video on dreams.

  • @eeuunnlol
    @eeuunnlol 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    this is exactly my problem, and yesterday was my breaking point. i think you just saved my job. getting out of bed is the hardest part of my day. my mornings are stressful and i end up hating the world the moment i wake up. it affects my mood at work and my entire day. so this video really helps : ) thank you. really

  • @joyannesloan8384
    @joyannesloan8384 ปีที่แล้ว +11

    You have a wonderful way of weaving together intelligence, compassion and pragmatism. Thank you so much for creating such excellent content that his head and shoulders above most anything else I see on youtube. I find your advice to be both realistic and relevant. I'm grateful for you!

  • @keitha.neubert3063
    @keitha.neubert3063 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Very applicable topic. I'm in an anhedonic state in recovery's early stages. Trying to not dread getting up. Thank you for all your videos. From Maine USA.

  • @TC-8789
    @TC-8789 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    This concept of ramping up momentum in the morning and not overdoing it right away reminds me of something Dr. K (HealthyGamer) said in one video about not going too hard on a project (working 8/10/12 hours in a sitting) and burning out- but working a few hours and then taking a break or putting it away for the day. It all seems to be about figuring out how to set (or re-set) a sustainable pattern to our day.

  • @pheona1164
    @pheona1164 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I've lived like this for about 3 months and I found that while I do feel more alert and ready for the day, my stress level is at 100. Because I am more engaged, I am absorbing more information and feeling overloaded and stressed- It's like forcing an extreme introvert to dj a rave. My accomplishments aren't wins for me. They are just hurdles I overcame until the next one. I keep waiting until this calms, but it keeps getting worse.

  • @gigicoogler
    @gigicoogler ปีที่แล้ว +7

    That was very difficult to digest but it resonated with every cell of my body. I’m 59 and when Covid hit my life completely changed Isolation, lack of self care, etc. Making new yet small manageable changes is key. Thanks ❤️

    • @nanetten6238
      @nanetten6238 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I hear ya sista !

    • @gigicoogler
      @gigicoogler 11 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@nanetten6238 that one “I getcha” makes
      All the difference and keeps us going. ❤️❤️

    • @TheJoker6789
      @TheJoker6789 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      Me too. The same exact thing has happened to me, plus a bunch of legal stress. And the loss of my girlfriend at the beginning of covid.

  • @desireelevesque634
    @desireelevesque634 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    ETA: (I am working on getting a new job that would be M-F 8-5-ish so I can correct my poor sleeping and eating habits. It may end up requiring the addition of some certification courses to my already packed schedule, but it will hopefully be a good investment in my future. I'll likely still be working wknds as well at least temporarily,but at least it wouldn't be 3rd shift. I could handle it in my mid-20's, but going into my mid-40's, it is more stressful and throws off my schedules for every aspect of daily life.)
    I wonder if creating a consistent sleep/wake schedule works for people (like me) who work two jobs, double shifts, rotating shift work etc? I have a set schedule of 3 double shifts, 4 overnights, 2 shifts on 2nd shift and 3 shifts on 1st shift. It's bizarre and stressful, yes, but on my overnights, I'm heading to bed at the same time that I would normally be waking up. Maybe it's something to implement when I dont have such an insane work schedule.

  • @franceshorton918
    @franceshorton918 ปีที่แล้ว +1

    I'm beginning my understanding of Childhood PTSD and how its affected me all my adolescence and adult years. There is a lot to learn, both about the CPTSD, the symptoms, treatment and healing processes, and steps to take goung forward.
    Some mornings, im so distressed, I don't breathe correctly. I hold my breath, or shallow breathe.
    Until recently I didn't even know i was doing this, or why.
    Thank you Dr Eilers, I have found another valuable step forward in my 'rescue myself' plan !! 💛 🤗
    2024, coming up fast !!

  • @debbietodd8547
    @debbietodd8547 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Waking up without an alarm(retired now) has been the game changer for me. I always woke up feeling horrible and struggled to get going when I worked but waking naturally without that alarm jolt ? Huge difference in how I feel physically as well as mentally. I am NOT a morning person, not grumpy, just slow to get going and I've always needed to set my alarm at least an hour and a half before I have to leave to be somewhere or else I am a mess for most of the rest of the day. I need that slow ,easy time without stressy rushing . And anyone who doesn't suffer from chronic anxiety/panic disorder and depression just DOES NOT get it! These people always make me feel flawed. Others rushing me just makes me fold, whether at home or out in the world. Thank you Dr. Eilers for your channel.....

  • @KittyBeats85
    @KittyBeats85 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    19:10 I can relate with the deep processing and mindless games (Tetris & FreeCell mostly) at night to wind down and have introspection. I have the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) trait so I especially need that processing time, and everyone talks to me about sleep hygiene to deal with insomnia, depression, and anxiety, but it's never really clicked until this video that I'm creating a 2nd energy curve and stimulating myself awake and rushing to go to sleep. Totally confusing to my brain! The "good news" for me is I start a new job in a week that requires me to start work (WFH) at 6am, so I'll have to start enforcing a consistent routine. I love the tip to slowly build the energy curve instead of having to instantly climb a rock face (what I do now). Dr. Scott, thank you for the practical suggestions and the understanding behind how it could benefit us. I'm really enjoying your content. ❤

  • @susanmercurio1060
    @susanmercurio1060 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    3:35 When I wake up, I lie there and let my sleeping hormones adjust to the waking hormones. I know that as a night person, my hormones change slowly so I let them change slowly.
    As a night person, I wake up around 10:30 to 11:00 AM. I need a slow approach to my most energetic time of the day, which is around 5:00 PM.
    Now I am retired and disabled so it's not that hard.
    When I was in the workforce, I usually worked second shift.

  • @kingalakatos5742
    @kingalakatos5742 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    The most reliable and "human" morning routine I've find on the internet! Thank you!

  • @JamesMcgill-tr2sy
    @JamesMcgill-tr2sy ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thanks Dr. In Canada if I excepted that I needed to get help. Just a Dr. App.= weeks. A referral = 6 months . Then the person that is going to help you might not connect with you. It's terrible, tried it a few times. You and your content are hitting the spot. I am telling the people people I care about you. Best wishes to you for this channel ❤

  • @gballmaier
    @gballmaier 3 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I really appreciate you, brother!!! I totally agree with your morning routine advice! I just started working as a cabinet maker, again after baby years of not working such a physical job. Now I just turned 62, and I need to find the right time to hit the weight training somewhere in my day. But this job is so physical, I've been coming home and just passing out till 3:30am when I have to get up. I hate having to rush in the morning and it's taken me 40 years to get up early enough to be able to slowly start my day. And it is so much better too but have to rush right off the bat, because of waking up late. Thank you for all your help!

  • @levibee9451
    @levibee9451 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    This is really helpful not just for making changes but also for understanding which parts of my daily routine are working and should stay the way they are. It helps me understand why it works for me when I get up with enough time to listen to some music or a podcast while making coffee and washing dishes before really starting the day. My schedule changes a lot and this video helps me understand what elements my mornings should have even if they cant be the exact same all the time.

  • @raerae6422
    @raerae6422 9 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Ive never heard anyone suggest an energy curve before. It makes sense. Thanks you, thank you, thank you!

  • @NikhilAchwal
    @NikhilAchwal 3 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    One of the best videos I’ve seen on TH-cam. Thank you so tremendously much for posting this.

  • @Curiosity1791
    @Curiosity1791 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    💜💜What you say makes so much sense! I've been hearing for years about getting up early, going to bed the same time, etc. etc. etc. You explain the reasons why so much more.. realistically? I want to say? In my mind I know what I should do, I just couldn't convince myself that it was worth it. When you said most people are unhappy, but still just going with the flow of what everyone else is doing, so if you want to live differently, you have to really live differently, I think I finally got it. Giving up what most other people would consider neccessary, or " the fun of life" in order to get what I need is worth it for me if I can really get what I need. I don't have to live like everyone around me, and be as unhappy as everyone around me. In my case (if you only knew) that's saying a lot. Thank you once again for your unique perspective, and for being so real. You've really helped motivate me to not only start but stick to the changes I need to make.👍💜💜

    • @FG-ie7cu
      @FG-ie7cu 7 หลายเดือนก่อน

      How you phrased that has helped me to think about it more clearly, too. Thank you. Here is an Eric Fromm quote that I just found this week: "If other people do not understand our behavior-so what? Their request that we must only do what they understand is an attempt to dictate to us. If this is being "asocial" or "irrational" in their eyes, so be it. Mostly they resent our freedom and our courage to be ourselves."

  • @raphaelkisslinger3297
    @raphaelkisslinger3297 8 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    I want to study psychology just to give people what you give me since I found this channel, now I think it might be more worthwhile and impactful if I share you’re content more. Thank you so much this is very helpful and encouraging!

  • @elenamaldonado7304
    @elenamaldonado7304 6 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Since my husband and I separated, I struggle with every aspect of life. My morning routine changes during the course of the week as some days I have my son and some days he's with dad. It's been a hard transition this past year and still can't seem to get it right as Im struggling with sleep also. I do appreciate these videos and watch they each morning as part of my routine. Thank you.

  • @SunshineSM877
    @SunshineSM877 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    Thank you so much for this video. I am listening to it again and again , taking notes. I have auto immune disease and i work 2 jobs. being fatigued and tired almost all day has been a constant. I am surely going to follow your tips.

    • @DrScottEilers
      @DrScottEilers  ปีที่แล้ว +1

      Wow you’re busy. Hope this helps!

  • @JackieMoss
    @JackieMoss 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Love your advice, please remember your wife who handles the kids, meals and the house weather she works or not. I do it all with a kinda helpful husband.

  • @emme9868
    @emme9868 4 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Thank you! Keep taking great care of yourself, ok Dr? Because you’re doing a great service sharing your experience, knowledge and wisdom! Finally some sense.
    I thank God for you.

  • @JillofAllTrades2
    @JillofAllTrades2 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Transitions! They do a number on me and I’ve come to loathe them. Once I get there I’m OK but I do not so well with the transitions, even little ones. I’m glad I found your channel and will keep listening and putting into practice the advice. Thanks!

  • @Cas.1964
    @Cas.1964 ปีที่แล้ว +3

    Thank you, this makes so much sense. I think alot of us, especially anxious people like myself, feel tgst self care is selfish or that we're not worth it but we have to realise that by looking after our own needs we have more to give to others. Just found your channel and love the way you present it.

  • @TNMountaingirl
    @TNMountaingirl ปีที่แล้ว +2

    I stumbled on your videos. I think this is good for all people just for how the world is rolling now. Whether you have severe or just having a hard time dealing with the way the world is changing. This is a wonderful video.

  • @heatherjohnson333
    @heatherjohnson333 11 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    You help me so much by articulating things that My brain is barely working to understand, which then helps me to find solutions so much better. I'm so glad I came across your channel because your videos really hit home for me. Thank you so much!

  • @xenatron9056
    @xenatron9056 ปีที่แล้ว +4

    Thankyou Scott for personally opening up to show in a clear way the things we don't notice about our habits and showing us 'why' we keep falling into disarray, making life a lot harder for ourselves than it needs to be.

  • @HFTLH
    @HFTLH ปีที่แล้ว +1

    You know these videos are relevant and extremely helpful, when you immediately watch them a second time to fully digest the information, rewind when you zoned out for a minute so you won't miss anything, and save them to come back to again. That's from the perspective of a person diagnosed with ADD and not on any treatment. I think I even want to take notes. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

  • @e.1766
    @e.1766 ปีที่แล้ว +5

    I have medical probs, so my routines keep getting trashed by symptoms. Idk what to do abt that; it really kills morale if you know That part isn't going to change. How can ppl like me keep trying to pull a routine, despite the fact you know you're going to be stopped by your body, when you Know you're gonna be stopped (just not when or for how long). It's Super Important to have a Routine, but wondering if there's a Technique or something to not fall into it being pointless & stop doing it? Thanks for your vids, they're really helpful. Don't forget to take care of yourself too👍

  • @lizybe28
    @lizybe28 ปีที่แล้ว +7

    Just subscribed. You explain things simply enough for my complicated mind to understand.

  • @flapjackfae
    @flapjackfae 4 หลายเดือนก่อน

    I start work at 9 AM, but i get up at 5, so i can do something worthwhile before I go to my job which isn't. It may be a bit of renovation on my house (this will be the rest of my life), or art, or just sitting in bed with coffee and cats and a book. It may or may not be planted the night before, but that time is always filled with some satisfying activity. SO much better than getting up for the sole purpose of immediately going to work.

  • @karenmcneill2602
    @karenmcneill2602 6 หลายเดือนก่อน

    YES! I like waking up @ 5am, but I go to bed very early. Last night I was in bed by 745pm. I just LOVE the early morning as its quiet and peaceful. No birds (though I do love all the wild birds that visit later), no cars etc. The morning is very slow and relaxing for me. I make a mug of tea, love on my bunny and watch TH-cam videos. When I was still working 5am was a good time as it allowed me to slowly groove into my day. As a Public Servant I could start anywhere between 8 to 930am.
    EDIT: Forgot to say That I totally agree with you. There is no medal or trophy for getting up early. I do it for myself alone.

  • @MaxSabbath666
    @MaxSabbath666 10 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    i really like this video and id like to add a bit of my own. for years and years now I've been drinking chamomile tea in the evenings right up until the moment my head hits the pillow. i would always have to get up in the middle of the night to pee, causing sleep disruptions and messing up the whole cycle. id never really feel rested. i recently started cutting off my fluids intake AT LEAST 90min before bed, preferably 2 hours. long enough for the fluids to cycle thru me. since I started this I've had ZERO disturbed sleep, I've awakened feeling rested and refreshed, and earlier than my alarm clock is set. i feel like this is a cheat code! I'm sure it sounds very obvious to some, but it took me way too long to figure out, so I figured id share. thanks for the video!

  • @sergiomontes2568
    @sergiomontes2568 7 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    good, clear and neat message, thank you so much (it is just what i needed to hear today, how lucky). I woke up this morning sleep deprived again, after going to bed to late... again! well, now I know better, I feel I know enough for it to be translated into the right action.