Wow. My husband and I are around your age and feel like we are struggling with just the relentlessness of being an adult and parent. This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. The fact I can listen to someone of your caliber for free in my home is absolutely astounding. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos.
I feel the exact same way. I'm getting answers to questions that I know I wouldn't be asking my new therapist (only seen her twice now) for quite some time. That's one of the big downfalls of starting with a new therapist. Suffice it to say that I have had more than my share of traumatic events that have occurred in my life, and I haven't had a clue how to handle them. I suppress so much. Dr. Scott's podcasts are really helping me understand all my loose screws. It will or would take years to discuss my these things with a therapist face to face. Being able to read comments from folks with more than their own fair share of issues and having the opportunity to comment back is very freeing for me. I'm probably not making any sense because it's late, and I'm beat. I hope you catch my drift, though.
@@vickykent353 YES! Thank you so much for replying to me!! I relate to you so much. I have done therapy off and on for years and I know the struggle of finding and starting with someone new. You need to and you want to, but it's also a lot of work to bring them up to speed on your life. WHEW. Who knew that being an adult would be so hard. We are lucky in this day and age we have access to so much more information than previous generations did, but with that comes a lot of pressure to do it all perfectly right!!!! It really felt nice to have someone respond to me today, so thank you so much!!
Cut yourself some slack, cos being a parent is NOT easy breezy and any one who says it is..lied! But if for most of the time you tried your best, you are already a winner 😁
CBT is like this. The whole thing is based on the premise that the depressed person is wrong. But sometimes the depressed person isnt wrong and the bad things are real.
I've probably seen 8 therapists in my lifetime of 55 years... And didn't resonate with most of them. Your explanation is so clear and so simple. Thank you. I've saved it and will listen to it again.
Life is difficult, sometimes it is bloody awful. And we are not born with a guide to "living our best life". We spend our entire lives endeavoring to make sense of a world which, quite often, does not make sense. An ancient Roman (Cicero? Seneca?) wrote "pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Maybe not the easiest advice to follow, but it is an important idea to remember. It will not automatically take away the pain, but it can help, to some degree, make it more.bearable.
One thing I know from living it..I'm 74 years old and there is a silent unreported epidemic of depression, anxiety, loneliness, isolation and suicide in the elderly. Forced retirement has resulted in thoughts that life is meaningless and you have no purpose. Your self worth plummets and boredom, monotony, and life becomes a never ending loop of doing the same thing day after day, you become habituated rote, existing, not living.
Join groups of like-minded people, take classes and learn new skills, go to activity centres for the elderly, make new friends and have fun. Don't give up on life, there are always new experiences to enjoy ❤️
@@mbolden393 I agree. We're living longer than people did in earlier times-- many people in my life have planned for career change, rather than traditional retirement. it's part of human nature for us to feel useful and valued, so making a change could make all the difference.
I love being retired! I'm busy and relaxed, finally have time for me and all the things I love to do. Even just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is fantastic.
@@trudibarraclough478We are two birds of a feather in this case. ❤ I love the same! I can be quite simple many days, enjoying the graces and blessings of our Creator.
Not true. Absence of good friends has had a direct and measurable effect on my happiness. I have always been happier when I have had friends. Loneliness kills happiness
After my first husband died twenty years ago, my life has been complete hell! Sure, we went through bad things before, but not like this! He was a very reliable, constant person…..I don’t have that anymore.
The problem with partners and friends is that they are outside of you, they can leave at any time, they've got their own lives going on, they're not always there..and why should they be...we need to be our own best friend and take responsibility for ourselves. Let others off the hook. Thats were true empowerment comes from...sometimes it's just tougher though.
I feel torn coz I have always had toxic friends and had better times than I do on my own. There's not much you can do totally on your own, I find it very limiting. And now that I have no friends, I struggle hard, except for days when I need to be alone.
I am listening to this on September 9th 2024. Everything you say is so heartfelt I get tears in my eyes. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. I really needed to hear this today. I am struggling with finding who I really am and this is a good start for me. God bless you Dr. Scott❤
As someone who is not so young anymore, I disagree with you. Having pain and feeling you have no purpose can make many of us unhappy. When you realize your purpose and you're able to manage your pain, I believe level of happiness goes up. I understand pain doesn't always mean physical. This is why I appreciate these videos We are not alone on our journey
@@maryannknox7158 I think that happiness is a relative term. I don't think very much whether I'm happy or not. I think of it as the absence of heartache and/or worry. On the other hand, I believe helping someone would definitely give me a good feeling that may be called "happy".
I've had depressive bouts all my life with no real understanding of what was happening. Tried lots of external changes and zombified myself with Prozac for a bit. Your direct approach coming from a place of personal knowledge has helped me more in the last month than anything in the previous 67 years. Thank you so much. ❤
Hey brother. Just found you channel today. I’ve noticed that you sometimes say “I know this sounds a little cheesy” and other stuff like that, and I know to some degree that comes from a place of insecurity but I just want you to know we can feel the love emanating from your words so even if it is “a little cheesy” we can feel the care and love in your words. Stay strong man and keep speaking because you’re helping people change their lives for the better. ❤
I am trying to heal from the loss of a relationship and a job for the last 2+ years and I have lost myself and my happiness. I have just recently found you on TH-cam and enjoy your videos. This one hit pretty hard, I've become isolated and don't really have a lot of friends and no single friends. My ex has married and chose to live in town which is hard for me so I don't go to town much. I'm on a roller-coaster right now and trying to find my happiness 😊
He's one of the few mental health professionals on TH-cam that explode with this aura of sincerity. You can really hear it in his voice that he genuinely wants to help people.
HOWEVER, some people have had a HUGE preponderance of experiences in life that ANYone would consider negative and bad feeling. It's hard to overcome that.
Both of my two brothers have committed suicide. I am grateful I have found your site but also self aware enough (I think) to know that it always has to come back to me…… and I am just sooo tired of the fight. I fought the good fight for 63 years but since Covid….I am so shut down I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe, just maybe something here will help as in my province of NS, Canada our health care system is nonexistent. 🇨🇦 Thank you for this work you are doing. You never know who’s life this may reach and save.
Tired too. 62 soon. All by myself. Fear of job loss, home loss (renting). No money. Realising the many mistakes I have made. But I know, there is a way out. It's actually comforting.
Same situation here with my 2 brothers. I was the last one to speak to both of them. It's a lot to handle sometimes. Try good probiotics for gut health and keep watching self help videos. Avoid the medical system at all cost. I wish you well.
"You *are* putting good stuff out there" I cant afford therapy, but watching your videos is helping me tremendously, especially this episode. The meaning of my name means "to be happy" and I always joked with people and say that I live up to my name ... then something changed and that feeling disappeared. I am struggeling to get it back, because I miss it and this video is just what I needed to hear again. Thank you!
I'm 60 years old, I do have something that I have tracked through my life that has always brought me more happiness. All the best times of my life have all been when I was single. When I was in relationships there was always some kind of extra drama that made my life much harder. PS. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes I do but not nearly as much as I thought I would. Right now even though I do get lonely at times I feel like being single is better for my mental health, my life is just easier this way.
I couldn't agree more! I've been single for 20 yrs now. Even when the relationships were in their first best flush I felt less happy. Now that my kids have left home I take such joy in not being needed anymore. Just me looking out for myself.
After years of therapy (yet still marginally to significantly depressed, depending on where I am in my depression cycle), I am consistently getting more help from your straightforward podcasts than from anyone else. I follow you religiously, and can always find new insights and actions each time. I can’t thank you enough. ❤
It is rare that someone of such youthful years has gained such insights as to the working influence and colors of life created by our individual minds. The collective power of our minds is a force difficult to imagine. To be able to recognize the power for both growth or destruction is a leap into true freedom.
No one said we should be happy all of the time, however, finding joy in the world ( small things usually - a silly meme, your podcast, cake) is a worthwhile pursuit and keeps me going.
.....very best approach I've ever encountered.....user friendly....respectful while realistic....genuine help....appreciative and grateful to find this healer.....
I prayed about this in the wee hours of the morning. Your video showed up. This video answered all of the questions, I prayed about! May the Creator bless you. ❤🇹🇹 This is the first time I have seen your videos. He answered prayer. You were His instrument! ❤🇹🇹
Omg! Me too! This is my silent struggle that is SO hard to articulate! You do it so well, Dr Scott...thank you. Very practical, rational, no empty promises--your life experience and what works. St Augustine wrote about this and 'memories' in reflecting about life.
In all my years of trauma therapy I wish someone could have explained this to me as easily as you did in this podcast. My translator needs to be fired for years of translating only doom. Wow! So powerful. Thank you for all your videos but especially because they are free and genuine. I have been on disability 8 years and noone has offered to help me for free. May God bless you!
There's a danger with "putting all your eggs in one basket": I had a lovely girlfriend for five years and was happy enough but since she dumped me last year it has felt like the end of the world
Wow. Watching this video at 3am will be one of those pivotal moments I look back on as life changing. I fear I’ll lose the lessons in the cacophony of life when the sun comes up, so I will listen again. Thank you for this and I’ll be sharing, too. ❤
@@DrScottEilers That must be an awesome feeling! And you do this as a free service, too. The internet is the great equalizer. Thanks again! I’m going to keep watching and sharing.
@@monadegiovanni3878 It’s so true! We’re usually having a night of insomnia or worrying about things. So it was nice to watch a video that made so much sense & was even perspective changing in an empowering way. Best wishes to you! You’re worth all the effort. 💕
At 71, I could appreciate even just reduced stress. Definitely in shutdown and the anhedonia thing is making pain of former pleasures. (Such as viewing a much-anticipated blooming of a Christmas cactus with dread, rather than the usual enjoyment, because I see spent blooms and feel an sudden, unreasonable dread of when the now spectacular bloom will have passed entirely.) That just changing up the norms of location and activity won't help does not come as good news. I'm planning to do those changes anyway because I have no easy options for relieving the stresses. 🤷
Great analogy of the tree across the road. I feel like a whole forest of trees have been blocking that road for yrs. I had cleared about 3/4 of it when my husband became ill and died a couple yrs later. So back to clearing the road again taking time for myself and revoving those trees. In the process of making new memories. Thank you for making these videos. 🙂❤
I like the glitchy translator metaphor! You mentioned the example of someone giving a compliment but it doesn’t compute. Can you talk more about the social consequences of depression, anxiety, inner critic, shame, etc. I’ve dealt with this stuff for so long that I’ve not been able to keep up socially and feel very awkward a lot of the time now.
I am watching this, post 2024 election. I could never truly express how this video, and so many others you have produced, have helped me...today, and in the past. I literally am shedding tears of gratitude for these lifesaving contributions of yours. You are a bright light, and l hope and pray that it is, and will show us the way to our own light; illumination for ourselves, and to use as a gift to others. I purchased your first book. Will also look forward to buying your next one. Blessings to you and yours. Blessings to all who follow you.
Showing you, "A little Love." I love your teaching and delivery. I love the way in which you share... You are reaching us from a platform of experiences yourself. Deeply impactful and with your education which, obviously, you worked hard for - we are blessed by your messages and insight. (Along with everything else I said). Thank You!
Greetings Sir, i've been watching for a while, I have posted to your videos before but always deleted them shortly after as i didnt want to appear weak. I started watching when the dark dreams got worse. I'm a veteran with 12 yrs in the service. 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore and was ready to end it when a friend video called randomly, I began treatment yesterday for PTSD and wouldn't have had the strength to do so without the advice in some of your videos.
@@DrScottEilersyou are making a difference to people. Its because we can feel that you have walked in our shoes, the words, the expressions the absolute way you speak from the heart..l trust you because l know you understand. It's truly touched my soul..l know you care about us. Thank you for stretching out your hand to us and sharing your wisdom. deep appreciation. X
Your road is a superhighway and the world is finding its way to your heart, Dr. Scott. You are nothing short of a phenomenon. Your content is reaching people around the world who've been suffering and needing your clear, direct, friendly voice to give them hope. Thank you for getting up the courage to start. You've inspired me!
Sounds similar to what the Stoics talked about. That it’s not events that upset us, it’s our opinion of those events that upset us. They would 100% agree with you, that it’s our interpretations of the external that bring us positive feelings or negative feelings. To a large degree we do have control over how we CHOOSE to interpret the world.
Hi Scott. Thank you for doing these videos. I found them about two days ago and have been listening ever since. I feel like these are right on time for me. I’ve been in therapy before and have made substantial progress. But I have felt stuck. I love the metaphors. I feel hopeful again. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks!
I love the way you explain things. It makes me understand the way I feel. Thank you so much for all you do. Just know you are very much appreciated. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…. Keep making videos!!!👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌟🌟🌟
Thank you. You are helping me. I’m 63. I saw doctors for years for anxiety and depression. Every medication had rare side affects. I took Zoloft and it made me crazy. I stopped taking it suddenly without medical supervision. Thought I was going to die for about a week. I don’t take anything now. Tried natural also. They helped but I felt like a zombie. Just try to manage with information to be able to understand what I need to do to stay non-suicidal. I like your delivery. It helps and confirms what I know. I recently became aware of inner child work and that has helped. I have been struggling with depression a bit lately. Hoping it will turn around soon. It used to be worse. I think menopause helped. Vitamin deficiency also factor in. No doctor ever discussed that. Should have. Anyway really like your podcast.
Dr. Scott, I have gotten so, so much from your podcasts. They have provided me with a way to understand myself much more than years spent with several therapists. I have benefitted so much from the dozen or so I've listened to starting with the one on passive SI. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm absolutely positive that you are helping so many people! I am absolutely blessed to have found you. ❤❤ BTW, I forwarded this particular podcast to 2 people so far.
I hear you. What matters is how I receive the stuff. If I’m not happy, it’s because something is blocking me from receiving it. So many defenses I have , each blocking a kind of happiness. How to feel safe receiving love and happiness? Clear the roadblocks. For me, one is trust. It’s hard to know trust when you’ve been threatened, or even sometimes just ignored. Or not taught about conflict. Like, conflict isn’t always unsafe. So much debris in the road!
You reached me and my family at the very right moment in time and I’m almost out of words as to how express how grateful we feel to have found you today. Too much to explain but if I could choose one single great thing that I have discovered on the Internet it is you! So many years of dealing with anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, severe illnesses, etc. with such a long list of therapists, doctors, testing, medications and no real great advice or results from anyone or anything. You just changed that for us and I’m soaking up as much of your wisdom as I can. Eternally grateful to you, THANK YOU! ❤️
Ive watched seemingly every self help psychotherapist type of person on youtube but just found this guy and he is the most calm, relatable, encouraging, explanatory, real and seemingly genuine dude of em all. no silly slideshows or clickbait either so good wholesome advice experience and storytelling/analogies. KEEP IT UP
Thank you so much for your wisdom and easy-to-understand (mostly) insights. I’m in my 70’s, have dealt with mental health issues all my life really but only became aware of the depth of them a few years ago when I tried to end my life……and my pain and my dark feelings of hopelessness. I became a peer support specialist and received training that helped other people benefit from my lived experience but also taught me skills to manage my mental health rather than become its victim. I’ve been in mental health recovery for over several years now and have gained so much understanding about not only my own mental health but that of others too. Things do get better but it takes hard work and dedication to become healthy and maintain it. I’m so glad I chose that path for myself.
I been dealing with what I think is ptsd because of what happened at the facility I was working at during covid. I'm a nurse.by the was. Currently have sessions with a counselor to deal with the grief. I been watching your episodes on u tube to get some insight into dealing with the depression and the anxiety. You have helped so much. Thank you.
Everyone in the medical field during covid has my absolute admiration & respect. You had a really tough time when the whole world was scrambling for answers. Thank you so much for your efforts & I'm sorry you're struggling now.
I think you’re right and it’s terrifying because it feels awful to be me. I used to love being me even when I was alone. I was never bored. I had a rich in her life and now I’m just tormented and trying to cope and keep myself alive one moment to the next not even knowing why just doing it out of respect for life and because I don’t want all of those who tried to kill me and who abused me to win.
Thank you so much. After more than 10 years of counseling which I gave up on 5 years ago, you are shining a bright light on the hardest issues I deal with. Guilt and regret are with me every second because of misunderstanding what is actually happening in my mind. The idea if will power being finite and your daily choices being connected to the highest stimulation activities that you enjoy the most. Also, willpower is actually used when you choose not to do what you love the most was eye-opening to me. So thank you again. You are helping me more than all the counseling I have previously received.
I absolutely love this video! I actually practice these small victory things daily. Somehow I have gleaned this practice from several inspirational help sources over my life. I love the John Madden story. Now I realize I've had victories everyday and I do give myself daily credit. I celebrate myself periodically for them whenever I think to do it. Like I take myself for coffee and a treat or just do any small activity I've wanted to do, like hobbies.❤
This really helped me. 58, struggling with severe depression, trauma, cptsd, and suicidal. This was a breath of fresh air, in my stale life. Thank you!!
I'm 32 not that it matters. I've been really down lately. I felt like I was 'healing' for lack of a better word maybe processing negative stuff from growing up. I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood. That kind of scares me too going forward. Anyways what I thought was helping actually led to me being as depressed as I was as a teenager. Feeling of stagnation, being lost & just overwhelmed (even overwhelmed with thoughts of positive things too). It really sucks but I've seen a few of your videos now and they're really helping. Your book too, I'm not that far in, I'm a slow reader but it's resonating. I've watched other people's videos before on this subject matter but most are rather forgettable. No offense intended, they just don't click in the same way I guess. Thanks for your videos I'm sure most of us take something good from them and appreciate it
I can only say that this wonderful video about finding "happiness" resonated "Right On The Button" for me!!! I've been struggling with Mental Illness for ALL of my 68 yrs (anxiety, depression, CPTSD, OCD and now BPD). Thank You so much, Dr. Scott, for helping all those people -- like me -- find truthful and clear answers, as to why we get "stuck" in "self-imposed mental prisons" which deny us of living "happy", and healthier lives. Tks!! Great job!!! ❤ 🙏
Your way of explaining things makes sense to me. I am concept designer and your way of using stories and pictures in your telling, visualises things to me better than any other `just do this, ask questions later`- kinda stuff. So, please go on and keep on things visual to us, it will help even more people!
Just found you a couple of days ago, this was 4th or so video I've watched/listened to.Absolutely phenomenal. It's like you're mind reader. All good stuff. Explained in a way that, for lack of better description, just clicks & makes sense. Thank you for doing this.
I like the blocked road metaphor. That's exactly what my struggle/quest for happiness feels like. I suffer from depression that gets to be severe at times, and right now I'm working with someone who is probably the best therapist I've ever had. I've gained new insights into what is blocking my road, and I'm beginning to realize that sustained happiness will require ongoing work to keep that road clear.
I just want to say: THANK YOU Dr Scott. I just came across this video of yours as I've been living thru one of the most painful depression episodes in the last 2 years and I was drowning in my thoughts and feelings as your podcast started to play and I believe it was God that made it play to help me in this period of my life. Just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for finding your messages in this extremely hectic and challenging world where we feel alone most of our lives without a person who can truly speak to us to make us understand what really matters. Thank you so very much and God Bless.
Your videos are literally keeping me alive. Every morning I’ve wake up with chest pain due my anxiety and depressive episode. I want to leave this world, the pain it’s too much. But I wake up and watch your videos to keep me from thinking of the pain. I don’t want to take meds because I don’t want to be dependent forever. I wish I had access to people like you.
Coming to grip with who I am, the good the bad the ugly, and accepting myself, trying to better myself and not confirming to society is only a start to accepting oneself. Being happy in my own inner world, realising only i can control my psyche, brings me peace. Thank you for explaining so eloquently. Opened my eyes, how simple it really all is.
We are all imperfect in an imperfect world 🙏 Learning to walk with your own shadow is it. Roll with good and bad and know who you truly are is all that counts. Make up your mind to be happy 🌻
Having to work outside my home was my 1 big thing to depression and anxiety. My husband and I both had good careers. When we decided to start a family, we decided i would stay home. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years. During that time, I quit smoking, exercised, took care of home, husband, kids. Took great care of me. I was so happy. Then husband changed to a job that made him much happier. He would be making less money. I totally supported him and I went back to work. I've been back at work on and off now for 7 years. I've gained ed 80 pounds, struggling with depression, I'm a chain smoker again... not happy. And there is direct line to my going back to work and my unhappiness😢 So, I'm going to do the work to find a way to be happier with who I am now. Thanx for your help
🙏🙏🙏 that you can find a way that you can again return to being at your home....and 🙏🙏🙏 that your husband will understand and realize the value of your health, and take up the slack...it is possible to live minimalistically....I've done it for my entire life.
Thank you for doing you vlog/podcasts on TH-cam. I am doing several things to attempt to minimize the effects of depression and anxiety in my life. After 25 years of meds, 20 years on/off therapy, 15 years Alanon & AA I still struggle. I am finding your vids extremely enlightening, and compassionate. It gets hard to stay hopeful when it doesn’t actually ‘go away’.
Sent a thanks because this is the first time I've ever, ever heard a mental health professional say what I've been trying to communicate to all of mine for almost two decades: the problem is not that my life is bad, or that I'm doing it wrong and need to do it better. The problem is that my brain cannot find rewarding things rewarding. There is a tree fallen across my road and I physically cannot enjoy or positively anticipate basically anything. I'm not sad, I'm frustrated! I don't even know what my goals ARE because I can't WANT anything, only move away from what I know I DON'T like. I have a car that can only turn left. I have met exactly one professional who so much as understood what I mean by this, and I had to learn a lot of jargon about dopamine pathways and the autonomic nervous system to explain it in a way that clicked for him. So thank you. It means so much to see it out there explained in plain terms by someone who not only gets it but is spending his life putting it into practice and HELPING. Thank you thank you thank you.
How I wish I could communicate even half as well as this guy; I am in total awe of his ability to convey positivity. It always feels so personal, like he's just speaking to you alone. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Damn, he's good.
Nothing you say is cheesy you are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and helping soooooo many people out there and know you are an Angel dropped from heaven to do everything you do!!
I completely agree. I have always been a little overweight. I got close to 300 pounds (not shaming, just sharing) after having my 4th child. I have a blockage in my bile ducks that's been there for about 19 years or so (I'm 34) and I didn't find out until January of this year what was causing my pain. I ended up sick starting in November 2023 and ended up losing a little over 100 pounds in less than 5 months. During that time everything else went downhill all of my relationships, my work, I fell into the worst depression of my life to the point where I was having trouble getting out of bed and speaking and completing daily basic tasks. I'm still dealing with this. I haven't found a therapist yet but I'm on the lookout.
I am 70 now and have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder, at times acute and depression all of my life. I wish I would have had a resource such as this channel when I was in my 20's (in an abusive marriage) worst health of my life. I know that you genuinely understand because you have been through the mill too. Mostly people, including family don't understand and I have felt very alone most of my life. Stress (life being out of control, financially or otherwise )is definitely my trigger. When I perceive I am secure and safe life can tick along for stretches of time without a glitch or a symptom. Thank you Dr. Scott for taking the time to make these videos available to those of us who can't access any other help. 🙏
Thank you! I spent years in therapy after having a child. That event made me acutely aware of how traumatic my childhood was. Through all that talk therapy, I never experienced a professional who provided so much rich and beneficial ideas that improve the quality of life. Thank you!
I am 72, and this makes complete sense! When I keep a well-rounded life, a step at a time and a day at a time, making even little advances in small goals, then overall, I find myself basically happy and contented. My faith in Jesus and what he's done to show how immensely God loves us by his grace and bringing that to mind and heart daily is the most important thing that keeps me moving forward. And being thankful for all the small daily blessings put in front of you. Keeping a contented mind as you move along even when working on new goals, trusting all things will work together for your good, as God says they will. Thank you, Dr. Scott!❤😊
YT's algorithm put one of your videos in my feed, and it's spooky, how predictable I must be. I've been pretty distressed for the last couple of weeks -- it's always like that on holidays, but this time, I found out that my worst fears -- being excluded by family -- came true. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I've been through this before, and (kick self) I later laughed at myself for being paranoid. Not god for one's self esteem, and I dread the idea of a family member showing up & charming me back into laughing at myself. I've been googling how to trust oneself, because that's the issue I can start working on, and my plan is: walking & picking garbage up around the village. Get myself out of the house since I tend to self-isolate.. I'm hoping I'll have more ideas, and your videos are helping.
I listened to you. I have these these passive suicidal thoughts and yes following through scares me and I wonder when will I do it. And I can’t be happy with my life and it’s nothing really. Thank you for helping me get some incite as to why I still here.
That faulty translater is EXACTLY right. So much of my life has been lost because my inner translation told me something that was not true. And it is so difficult. My "translater" constantly told me people were not understanding and quick to anger and expected perfectionism of me, and so I have projected that on people who just want to accept me. Working through it is probably the most difficult process I have (it is still an ongoing process).
Finally! A concise description of the disconnect I feel with depression. It sucks to struggle just to communicate. It feels exhausting. I need a book that breaks down the rules. I have never had a clue how to decipher the rules. I was raised to be a good catholic girl with all that implies. So I have to fight through the misinformation and attempts to mislead built into religious training. By the time you get to the surface you are battered bleeding and worn out. Welcome to the beginning. Wow I sound so negative. Sorry for that. Thank you Dr Scott for the information. You help.
This has totally resonated with me. I live how you think and how you explain things. There is no shortage of experts who rapid-fire technical jargon out there, but you make it real and relevant. Thank you
This was again, so genuine and helpful! You are standout among a crowd of booksmart, not "lifesmart" therapists. You are living this, and come from a place of " knowing " what this feels like firsthand! You are a gift to us all🎉
You are an excellent teacher. You do not speak from what you've learned from books, you speak from your heart. Sincerety is hard to find today. You are a beautiful soul.
So I came across your videos a few weeks ago when I was in a very deep hole. I definitely had (passive) suicidal ideations and was looking for some helpful videos or people with similar experiences. Don’t worry - I’m better at the moment and I‘ve arranged to go to a day clinic soon. Just wanted to say that it’s extremely helpful of you to share your own experiences but through the filter of a professional, de-demonizing suicidality and giving a positive perspective that it can be overcome. It often feels like it’s forbidden to talk about those things openly because it will make people see you as a freak and call 911 right away! As you said in another video - mental illness is not always cute or quirky. Sometimes it overshadows your whole life. Anyway - I find your videos very relatable and helpful. Sometimes I think more therapists should have gone through the „practical experience“ of having been mentally Ill themselves- although in reality I don’t wish that upon anyone of course! Keep it up!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
. You get it! I need a counselor like you! I live in a small town off the coast of NC. Know anyone that practices near me that you would recommend. Thank you for finally making where I am in life make a bit of sense. It’s nice to know that 1 person in this entire world understands where I am❤
Dr Scott again you answered my questions. I have been paying Mental Health People for treatment for some 50 years. In the last few days i have learned more about my problems and myself and Finally how to start to fix myself. You are a Miracle to me. Last month i O D. I did live but i was planning to do something more final. Like a gun. This is when on TH-cam i came across your video on Suicide Ideation. Now i have progressed to a morning routine and most of all getting outside and moving. You truly are a gift from GOD. There is a place for you already in Heaven GOD forbid when the time comes..
You are an amazing help Scott, it’s a bit tricky existing and negotiating the world alone, for too many years now, at nearly 70. I’ve started to struggle being surrounded by people more and more… It’s hard not to feel sad about a life that fell apart and dreams of a future that will now never happen (also seen your video re that🙏) despite my art, nature, the sea, mountains, my music and animals, I have a peaceful life, it’s the mind that ruins it! I am grateful daily, for you and your full-time side-hustle as you call it lol! Thank you so very, very much x
This concept helps me to even take time to recognize when my processing of stimuli shifts even if for a moment to receive something I do process into a pleasant feeling or happiness.
This may be the best content I have found on TH-cam. You are truly gifted. Thank you for sharing your helpful insights in such a down-to-earth and accessible way.
You’re absolutely fantastic, and there’s so much value to your content. Thank you so much for putting all this hard work in so that so many of us can benefit from it
You have no idea what this just meant to me. All of your material is amazing. But. This. This. It’s what I needed. Thank you so much for all that you are doing!!
Dr Eilhers, you are a very wise, empathetic, intelligent and articulate man. Thank you for posting what is essentially therapy in a video. You help thousands of people. God bless.
After some really hard events in my life, finally I can say that I find happiness, how? I'm in peace with myself, with my personality and identity, with my positive aspects and my limits. I don't have a perfect life, actually I'm doing a lot of deep changes in my life, but when you feel confident of yourself , with acceptance of your limits and your capabilities, when you feel love for yourself, for me, that's the real happiness.
Thank you ! I sent it to my daughter too . Opened my eyes answered so much. Just to realize what you said but how you explained it is so true. Really helpful.again thank you. I see a couslor for an hour and don't get anything realized like this neacha in Alaska. If your not healthy you don't have anything .so true
Thank you for this video. I'm struggling for a while now with some degree of depression and stress. All the things I used to enjoy doing are no longer enjoyable. Like nature for example, I used to love being in nature, now I don't feel anything. Listen to Music is another example. Some hobbies that I've enjoyed in the past, don't bring me joy. I don't know how to start fining new things when I don't know what I love to do. Like I need to erase all and start again. Therapist suggests all kinds of things to try, very hard when nothing feels like it (49y old, in therapy, no meds for 2 years)
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Finally, a mental health doctor who cares about helping the disturbed find answers. YOU'RE THE BEST!!!
Yes, disengaged is horrible!!
Wow. My husband and I are around your age and feel like we are struggling with just the relentlessness of being an adult and parent. This is one of the most helpful videos I’ve ever seen. The fact I can listen to someone of your caliber for free in my home is absolutely astounding. Thank you for taking the time to make these videos.
I feel the exact same way. I'm getting answers to questions that I know I wouldn't be asking my new therapist (only seen her twice now) for quite some time. That's one of the big downfalls of starting with a new therapist. Suffice it to say that I have had more than my share of traumatic events that have occurred in my life, and I haven't had a clue how to handle them. I suppress so much. Dr. Scott's podcasts are really helping me understand all my loose screws. It will or would take years to discuss my these things with a therapist face to face. Being able to read comments from folks with more than their own fair share of issues and having the opportunity to comment back is very freeing for me. I'm probably not making any sense because it's late, and I'm beat. I hope you catch my drift, though.
@@vickykent353 YES! Thank you so much for replying to me!! I relate to you so much. I have done therapy off and on for years and I know the struggle of finding and starting with someone new. You need to and you want to, but it's also a lot of work to bring them up to speed on your life. WHEW. Who knew that being an adult would be so hard. We are lucky in this day and age we have access to so much more information than previous generations did, but with that comes a lot of pressure to do it all perfectly right!!!! It really felt nice to have someone respond to me today, so thank you so much!!
@lanawr80 I hear ya! Thanks for acknowledging the difficulty of starting with a new therapist, too! It feels nice to be validated. So many thanks! 😊
@@Beach_flower😢
Cut yourself some slack, cos being a parent is NOT easy breezy and any one who says it is..lied! But if for most of the time you tried your best, you are already a winner 😁
CBT is like this. The whole thing is based on the premise that the depressed person is wrong. But sometimes the depressed person isnt wrong and the bad things are real.
He has another video that addresses exactly this. I think it's something around "Intelligence and Depression"
I've probably seen 8 therapists in my lifetime of 55 years... And didn't resonate with most of them. Your explanation is so clear and so simple. Thank you. I've saved it and will listen to it again.
Life is full of pain, happiness is little moments that allow us to breathe in between. That’s how I see it, especially as I get older.
To live is to suffer… to find the meaning in the suffering is to live!
But life should and could be the other way round...lots of joy and little pain...we get to choose which road we walk down...
Life is difficult, sometimes it is bloody awful. And we are not born with a guide to "living our best life". We spend our entire lives endeavoring to make sense of a world which, quite often, does not make sense. An ancient Roman (Cicero? Seneca?) wrote "pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." Maybe not the easiest advice to follow, but it is an important idea to remember. It will not automatically take away the pain, but it can help, to some degree, make it more.bearable.
Exactly my truth at this point in life 🙌
I feel the same way. Is has been the greatest comfort, really. Given where I am in this life journey.
One thing I know from living it..I'm 74 years old and there is a silent unreported epidemic of depression, anxiety,
loneliness, isolation and suicide in the elderly. Forced retirement has resulted in thoughts that life is meaningless
and you have no purpose. Your self worth plummets and boredom, monotony, and life becomes a never ending
loop of doing the same thing day after day, you become habituated rote, existing, not living.
Join groups of like-minded people, take classes and learn new skills, go to activity centres for the elderly, make new friends and have fun. Don't give up on life, there are always new experiences to enjoy ❤️
@@mbolden393 Thank you for your kind words, compassion, support and suggestions. I go for weeks
without talking to another human being.
@@mbolden393 I agree. We're living longer than people did in earlier times-- many people in my life have planned for career change, rather than traditional retirement. it's part of human nature for us to feel useful and valued, so making a change could make all the difference.
I love being retired! I'm busy and relaxed, finally have time for me and all the things I love to do. Even just sitting in the sun and listening to the birds is fantastic.
@@trudibarraclough478We are two birds of a feather in this case. ❤ I love the same! I can be quite simple many days, enjoying the graces and blessings of our Creator.
Not true. Absence of good friends has had a direct and measurable effect on my happiness. I have always been happier when I have had friends. Loneliness kills happiness
Me too I literally feel the same if I have good friends as if everything comes back to life..but I don't have friends
After my first husband died twenty years ago, my life has been complete hell! Sure, we went through bad things before, but not like this! He was a very reliable, constant person…..I don’t have that anymore.
depends on the character trait and if you an introvert or extrovert
The problem with partners and friends is that they are outside of you, they can leave at any time, they've got their own lives going on, they're not always there..and why should they be...we need to be our own best friend and take responsibility for ourselves. Let others off the hook. Thats were true empowerment comes from...sometimes it's just tougher though.
I feel torn coz I have always had toxic friends and had better times than I do on my own. There's not much you can do totally on your own, I find it very limiting. And now that I have no friends, I struggle hard, except for days when I need to be alone.
I am listening to this on September 9th 2024. Everything you say is so heartfelt I get tears in my eyes. Thank you for putting yourself out there for all of us. I really needed to hear this today. I am struggling with finding who I really am and this is a good start for me. God bless you Dr. Scott❤
I don't desire happiness, just purpose & relief for pain. Happiness is a desire of the young.
As someone who is not so young anymore, I disagree with you. Having pain and feeling you have no purpose can make many of us unhappy. When you realize your purpose and you're able to manage your pain, I believe level of happiness goes up. I understand pain doesn't always mean physical.
This is why I appreciate these videos
We are not alone on our journey
I also find being present in every moment helps ground myself.
It actually doesn’t even exist no such thing as happiness
@@maryannknox7158 I think that happiness is a relative term. I don't think very much whether I'm happy or not. I think of it as the absence of heartache and/or worry. On the other hand, I believe helping someone would definitely give me a good feeling that may be called "happy".
I've had depressive bouts all my life with no real understanding of what was happening. Tried lots of external changes and zombified myself with Prozac for a bit. Your direct approach coming from a place of personal knowledge has helped me more in the last month than anything in the previous 67 years. Thank you so much. ❤
Same!!❤❤
Hey brother. Just found you channel today. I’ve noticed that you sometimes say “I know this sounds a little cheesy” and other stuff like that, and I know to some degree that comes from a place of insecurity but I just want you to know we can feel the love emanating from your words so even if it is “a little cheesy” we can feel the care and love in your words. Stay strong man and keep speaking because you’re helping people change their lives for the better. ❤
Hear hear.
I am trying to heal from the loss of a relationship and a job for the last 2+ years and I have lost myself and my happiness. I have just recently found you on TH-cam and enjoy your videos. This one hit pretty hard, I've become isolated and don't really have a lot of friends and no single friends. My ex has married and chose to live in town which is hard for me so I don't go to town much. I'm on a roller-coaster right now and trying to find my happiness 😊
He's one of the few mental health professionals on TH-cam that explode with this aura of sincerity. You can really hear it in his voice that he genuinely wants to help people.
Amen
Totally agree
HOWEVER, some people have had a HUGE preponderance of experiences in life that ANYone would consider negative and bad feeling. It's hard to overcome that.
Both of my two brothers have committed suicide. I am grateful I have found your site but also self aware enough (I think) to know that it always has to come back to me…… and I am just sooo tired of the fight. I fought the good fight for 63 years but since Covid….I am so shut down I don’t even want to try anymore. Maybe, just maybe something here will help as in my province of NS, Canada our health care system is nonexistent. 🇨🇦 Thank you for this work you are doing. You never know who’s life this may reach and save.
57 years old....just started watching these videos....I agree COVID 19 changed alot of things for many of us in this age group. TY for sharing 🌹☺️👍
❤
Tired too. 62 soon. All by myself. Fear of job loss, home loss (renting). No money. Realising the many mistakes I have made. But I know, there is a way out. It's actually comforting.
Same situation here with my 2 brothers. I was the last one to speak to both of them. It's a lot to handle sometimes. Try good probiotics for gut health and keep watching self help videos. Avoid the medical system at all cost. I wish you well.
I am so sorry to hear that you had had to live through that. ❤
"You *are* putting good stuff out there" I cant afford therapy, but watching your videos is helping me tremendously, especially this episode. The meaning of my name means "to be happy" and I always joked with people and say that I live up to my name ... then something changed and that feeling disappeared. I am struggeling to get it back, because I miss it and this video is just what I needed to hear again. Thank you!
Our entire world is 7 inches wide. Meaning, our world is perceived between our two ears which is about 7”. (in the brain).
I'm 60 years old, I do have something that I have tracked through my life that has always brought me more happiness. All the best times of my life have all been when I was single. When I was in relationships there was always some kind of extra drama that made my life much harder.
PS. Do I get lonely sometimes? Yes I do but not nearly as much as I thought I would. Right now even though I do get lonely at times I feel like being single is better for my mental health, my life is just easier this way.
I couldn't agree more! I've been single for 20 yrs now. Even when the relationships were in their first best flush I felt less happy. Now that my kids have left home I take such joy in not being needed anymore. Just me looking out for myself.
@@trudibarraclough478 absolutely.❤
After years of therapy (yet still marginally to significantly depressed, depending on where I am in my depression cycle), I am consistently getting more help from your straightforward podcasts than from anyone else. I follow you religiously, and can always find new insights and actions each time. I can’t thank you enough. ❤
It is rare that someone of such youthful years has gained such insights as to the working influence and colors of life created by our individual minds. The collective power of our minds is a force difficult to imagine. To be able to recognize the power for both growth or destruction is a leap into true freedom.
Thanks! I’m actually pretty old though 😂
Possibly the most concise and valuable psychology resource on TH-cam. Good stuff. Very helpful-- thank you!
No one said we should be happy all of the time, however, finding joy in the world ( small things usually - a silly meme, your podcast, cake) is a worthwhile pursuit and keeps me going.
Yes...the simple things in life really can make one feel happy,even if it's just for a bit.♡
Cake lol. It does make me happy.
I love that attitude @annetcell, I think I'll take a slice of it too.
❤cake
Okay but that doesn't change all the things we struggle with, things like money for food, home, gas, emergencies, etc
.....very best approach I've ever encountered.....user friendly....respectful while realistic....genuine help....appreciative and grateful to find this healer.....
Thanks and welcome
I prayed about this in the wee hours of the morning. Your video showed up. This video answered all of the questions, I prayed about! May the Creator bless you. ❤🇹🇹
This is the first time I have seen your videos.
He answered prayer. You were His instrument! ❤🇹🇹
Wonderful!
Omg! Me too! This is my silent struggle that is SO hard to articulate! You do it so well, Dr Scott...thank you. Very practical, rational, no empty promises--your life experience and what works.
St Augustine wrote about this and 'memories' in reflecting about life.
In all my years of trauma therapy I wish someone could have explained this to me as easily as you did in this podcast. My translator needs to be fired for years of translating only doom. Wow! So powerful. Thank you for all your videos but especially because they are free and genuine. I have been on disability 8 years and noone has offered to help me for free. May God bless you!
Sorry it took this long ❤️
There's a danger with "putting all your eggs in one basket": I had a lovely girlfriend for five years and was happy enough but since she dumped me last year it has felt like the end of the world
Wow. Watching this video at 3am will be one of those pivotal moments I look back on as life changing. I fear I’ll lose the lessons in the cacophony of life when the sun comes up, so I will listen again. Thank you for this and I’ll be sharing, too. ❤
I should add that I’ll reexamine my sleep hygiene as part of clearing that road, too. 😉
As someone who has had many of those pivotal moments thanks to others it’s crazy to think that I am one of them for you ❤️
@@DrScottEilers That must be an awesome feeling! And you do this as a free service, too. The internet is the great equalizer. Thanks again! I’m going to keep watching and sharing.
Also watching this at 3am 😢 Things always feel so bad at this time of the night.
@@monadegiovanni3878 It’s so true! We’re usually having a night of insomnia or worrying about things. So it was nice to watch a video that made so much sense & was even perspective changing in an empowering way. Best wishes to you! You’re worth all the effort. 💕
At 71, I could appreciate even just reduced stress. Definitely in shutdown and the anhedonia thing is making pain of former pleasures. (Such as viewing a much-anticipated blooming of a Christmas cactus with dread, rather than the usual enjoyment, because I see spent blooms and feel an sudden, unreasonable dread of when the now spectacular bloom will have passed entirely.) That just changing up the norms of location and activity won't help does not come as good news. I'm planning to do those changes anyway because I have no easy options for relieving the stresses. 🤷
Great analogy of the tree across the road. I feel like a whole forest of trees have been blocking that road for yrs. I had cleared about 3/4 of it when my husband became ill and died a couple yrs later. So back to clearing the road again taking time for myself and revoving those trees. In the process of making new memories. Thank you for making these videos. 🙂❤
My heart sends love to your heart.
I like the glitchy translator metaphor! You mentioned the example of someone giving a compliment but it doesn’t compute. Can you talk more about the social consequences of depression, anxiety, inner critic, shame, etc. I’ve dealt with this stuff for so long that I’ve not been able to keep up socially and feel very awkward a lot of the time now.
I am watching this, post 2024 election. I could never truly express how this video, and so many others you have produced, have helped me...today, and in the past. I literally am shedding tears of gratitude for these lifesaving contributions of yours. You are a bright light, and l hope and pray that it is, and will show us the way to our own light; illumination for ourselves, and to use as a gift to others. I purchased your first book. Will also look forward to buying your next one. Blessings to you and yours. Blessings to all who follow you.
Showing you, "A little Love." I love your teaching and delivery. I love the way in which you share... You are reaching us from a platform of experiences yourself. Deeply impactful and with your education which, obviously, you worked hard for - we are blessed by your messages and insight. (Along with everything else I said). Thank You!
Thank you so much!
Greetings Sir, i've been watching for a while, I have posted to your videos before but always deleted them shortly after as i didnt want to appear weak. I started watching when the dark dreams got worse. I'm a veteran with 12 yrs in the service. 2 weeks ago i decided i couldnt do it anymore and was ready to end it when a friend video called randomly, I began treatment yesterday for PTSD and wouldn't have had the strength to do so without the advice in some of your videos.
There is nothing weak about that. I’m so glad you are working on taking better care of yourself! ❤️💪
@@DrScottEilersyou are making a difference to people. Its because we can feel that you have walked in our shoes, the words, the expressions the absolute way you speak from the heart..l trust you because l know you understand. It's truly touched my soul..l know you care about us. Thank you for stretching out your hand to us and sharing your wisdom. deep appreciation. X
Your road is a superhighway and the world is finding its way to your heart, Dr. Scott. You are nothing short of a phenomenon. Your content is reaching people around the world who've been suffering and needing your clear, direct, friendly voice to give them hope. Thank you for getting up the courage to start. You've inspired me!
Sounds similar to what the Stoics talked about. That it’s not events that upset us, it’s our opinion of those events that upset us. They would 100% agree with you, that it’s our interpretations of the external that bring us positive feelings or negative feelings. To a large degree we do have control over how we CHOOSE to interpret the world.
Not easy for an empath.😅
Hi Scott. Thank you for doing these videos. I found them about two days ago and have been listening ever since. I feel like these are right on time for me. I’ve been in therapy before and have made substantial progress. But I have felt stuck. I love the metaphors. I feel hopeful again. Keep doing what you’re doing. Thanks!
I love the way you explain things. It makes me understand the way I feel. Thank you so much for all you do. Just know you are very much appreciated. Thank you… Thank you… Thank you…. Keep making videos!!!👍👍👍❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🌟🌟🌟
Thank you. You are helping me. I’m 63. I saw doctors for years for anxiety and depression. Every medication had rare side affects. I took Zoloft and it made me crazy. I stopped taking it suddenly without medical supervision. Thought I was going to die for about a week. I don’t take anything now. Tried natural also. They helped but I felt like a zombie. Just try to manage with information to be able to understand what I need to do to stay non-suicidal. I like your delivery. It helps and confirms what I know. I recently became aware of inner child work and that has helped. I have been struggling with depression a bit lately. Hoping it will turn around soon. It used to be worse. I think menopause helped. Vitamin deficiency also factor in. No doctor ever discussed that. Should have. Anyway really like your podcast.
Dr. Scott, I have gotten so, so much from your podcasts. They have provided me with a way to understand myself much more than years spent with several therapists. I have
benefitted so much from the dozen or so I've listened to starting with the one on passive SI. Please keep doing what you're doing. I'm absolutely positive that you are helping so many people! I am absolutely blessed to have found you. ❤❤ BTW, I forwarded this particular podcast to 2 people so far.
This was my favorite episode yet - very enlightening
I hear you. What matters is how I receive the stuff. If I’m not happy, it’s because something is blocking me from receiving it. So many defenses I have , each blocking a kind of happiness. How to feel safe receiving love and happiness? Clear the roadblocks. For me, one is trust. It’s hard to know trust when you’ve been threatened, or even sometimes just ignored. Or not taught about conflict. Like, conflict isn’t always unsafe. So much debris in the road!
You reached me and my family at the very right moment in time and I’m almost out of words as to how express how grateful we feel to have found you today. Too much to explain but if I could choose one single great thing that I have discovered on the Internet it is you! So many years of dealing with anxiety, depression, Asperger’s, severe illnesses, etc. with such a long list of therapists, doctors, testing, medications and no real great advice or results from anyone or anything. You just changed that for us and I’m soaking up as much of your wisdom as I can. Eternally grateful to you, THANK YOU! ❤️
Ive watched seemingly every self help psychotherapist type of person on youtube but just found this guy and he is the most calm, relatable, encouraging, explanatory, real and seemingly genuine dude of em all. no silly slideshows or clickbait either so good wholesome advice experience and storytelling/analogies. KEEP IT UP
Thank you so much for your wisdom and easy-to-understand (mostly) insights. I’m in my 70’s, have dealt with mental health issues all my life really but only became aware of the depth of them a few years ago when I tried to end my life……and my pain and my dark feelings of hopelessness. I became a peer support specialist and received training that helped other people benefit from my lived experience but also taught me skills to manage my mental health rather than become its victim. I’ve been in mental health recovery for over several years now and have gained so much understanding about not only my own mental health but that of others too. Things do get better but it takes hard work and dedication to become healthy and maintain it. I’m so glad I chose that path for myself.
I been dealing with what I think is ptsd because of what happened at the facility I was working at during covid. I'm a nurse.by the was. Currently have sessions with a counselor to deal with the grief. I been watching your episodes on u tube to get some insight into dealing with the depression and the anxiety. You have helped so much. Thank you.
Everyone in the medical field during covid has my absolute admiration & respect. You had a really tough time when the whole world was scrambling for answers. Thank you so much for your efforts & I'm sorry you're struggling now.
I think you’re right and it’s terrifying because it feels awful to be me. I used to love being me even when I was alone. I was never bored. I had a rich in her life and now I’m just tormented and trying to cope and keep myself alive one moment to the next not even knowing why just doing it out of respect for life and because I don’t want all of those who tried to kill me and who abused me to win.
Thank you so much. After more than 10 years of counseling which I gave up on 5 years ago, you are shining a bright light on the hardest issues I deal with. Guilt and regret are with me every second because of misunderstanding what is actually happening in my mind. The idea if will power being finite and your daily choices being connected to the highest stimulation activities that you enjoy the most. Also, willpower is actually used when you choose not to do what you love the most was eye-opening to me. So thank you again. You are helping me more than all the counseling I have previously received.
This is life changing stuff and it's completely free. You are an amazing human being ❤
Bravo. 👋 especially how you couldn't find the help you needed, so you created it. 👏 Bravo❤
YES!! My thought exactly! I've tried a good number of therapists over the years, but *none* have helped me like Dr. Scott has!
I absolutely love this video! I actually practice these small victory things daily. Somehow I have gleaned this practice from several inspirational help sources over my life. I love the John Madden story. Now I realize I've had victories everyday and I do give myself daily credit. I celebrate myself periodically for them whenever I think to do it. Like I take myself for coffee and a treat or just do any small activity I've wanted to do, like hobbies.❤
This really helped me. 58, struggling with severe depression, trauma, cptsd, and suicidal. This was a breath of fresh air, in my stale life. Thank you!!
I'm 32 not that it matters. I've been really down lately. I felt like I was 'healing' for lack of a better word maybe processing negative stuff from growing up. I feel like I don't remember a lot of my childhood. That kind of scares me too going forward.
Anyways what I thought was helping actually led to me being as depressed as I was as a teenager. Feeling of stagnation, being lost & just overwhelmed (even overwhelmed with thoughts of positive things too). It really sucks but I've seen a few of your videos now and they're really helping. Your book too, I'm not that far in, I'm a slow reader but it's resonating. I've watched other people's videos before on this subject matter but most are rather forgettable. No offense intended, they just don't click in the same way I guess. Thanks for your videos I'm sure most of us take something good from them and appreciate it
I can only say that this wonderful video about finding "happiness" resonated "Right On The Button" for me!!! I've been
struggling with Mental Illness for ALL of my 68 yrs (anxiety, depression, CPTSD, OCD and now BPD). Thank You so
much, Dr. Scott, for helping all those people -- like me -- find truthful and clear answers, as to why we get "stuck" in
"self-imposed mental prisons" which deny us of living "happy", and healthier lives. Tks!! Great job!!! ❤ 🙏
Your way of explaining things makes sense to me. I am concept designer and your way of using stories and pictures in your telling, visualises things to me better than any other `just do this, ask questions later`- kinda stuff. So, please go on and keep on things visual to us, it will help even more people!
I can see a malfunctioning translator has caused a great deal of grief and heartache in my life. This podcast was extremely helpful. Thank you. ❤
Just found you a couple of days ago, this was 4th or so video I've watched/listened to.Absolutely phenomenal. It's like you're mind reader. All good stuff. Explained in a way that, for lack of better description, just clicks & makes sense. Thank you for doing this.
Thanks and welcome
I like the blocked road metaphor. That's exactly what my struggle/quest for happiness feels like. I suffer from depression that gets to be severe at times, and right now I'm working with someone who is probably the best therapist I've ever had. I've gained new insights into what is blocking my road, and I'm beginning to realize that sustained happiness will require ongoing work to keep that road clear.
I just want to say: THANK YOU Dr Scott. I just came across this video of yours as I've been living thru one of the most painful depression episodes in the last 2 years and I was drowning in my thoughts and feelings as your podcast started to play and I believe it was God that made it play to help me in this period of my life. Just wanted to let you know that I am so thankful for finding your messages in this extremely hectic and challenging world where we feel alone most of our lives without a person who can truly speak to us to make us understand what really matters. Thank you so very much and God Bless.
Just found you today. Thank you! I watched several of your videos and have subscribed. You ARE helping people 😊
Awesome! Thank you!
@@DrScottEilers You are so welcome 🙏!
Your videos are literally keeping me alive. Every morning I’ve wake up with chest pain due my anxiety and depressive episode. I want to leave this world, the pain it’s too much. But I wake up and watch your videos to keep me from thinking of the pain. I don’t want to take meds because I don’t want to be dependent forever. I wish I had access to people like you.
Coming to grip with who I am, the good the bad the ugly, and accepting myself, trying to better myself and not confirming to society is only a start to accepting oneself. Being happy in my own inner world, realising only i can control my psyche, brings me peace.
Thank you for explaining so eloquently. Opened my eyes, how simple it really all is.
Learning to walk with your own shadow is it 🙏 Hug the cactus! We are all imperfect in an imperfect world, so what right? 🤙
Thank youuuu for doing this kind of video. Please continue helping us and i hope your channel gets bigger or helps more people like me
We are all imperfect in an imperfect world 🙏 Learning to walk with your own shadow is it. Roll with good and bad and know who you truly are is all that counts. Make up your mind to be happy 🌻
Having to work outside my home was my 1 big thing to depression and anxiety. My husband and I both had good careers. When we decided to start a family, we decided i would stay home. I was a stay at home mom for 15 years. During that time, I quit smoking, exercised, took care of home, husband, kids. Took great care of me. I was so happy. Then husband changed to a job that made him much happier. He would be making less money. I totally supported him and I went back to work. I've been back at work on and off now for 7 years. I've gained ed 80 pounds, struggling with depression, I'm a chain smoker again... not happy. And there is direct line to my going back to work and my unhappiness😢 So, I'm going to do the work to find a way to be happier with who I am now. Thanx for your help
🙏🙏🙏 that you can find a way that you can again return to being at your home....and 🙏🙏🙏 that your husband will understand and realize the value of your health, and take up the slack...it is possible to live minimalistically....I've done it for my entire life.
A great message, expressed in a really accessible way. You've given me something to think about today. Thank you so much.
So glad!
Thank you for doing you vlog/podcasts on TH-cam.
I am doing several things to attempt to minimize the effects of depression and anxiety in my life. After 25 years of meds, 20 years on/off therapy, 15 years Alanon & AA I still struggle.
I am finding your vids extremely enlightening, and compassionate. It gets hard to stay hopeful when it doesn’t actually ‘go away’.
Sent a thanks because this is the first time I've ever, ever heard a mental health professional say what I've been trying to communicate to all of mine for almost two decades: the problem is not that my life is bad, or that I'm doing it wrong and need to do it better. The problem is that my brain cannot find rewarding things rewarding. There is a tree fallen across my road and I physically cannot enjoy or positively anticipate basically anything. I'm not sad, I'm frustrated!
I don't even know what my goals ARE because I can't WANT anything, only move away from what I know I DON'T like. I have a car that can only turn left. I have met exactly one professional who so much as understood what I mean by this, and I had to learn a lot of jargon about dopamine pathways and the autonomic nervous system to explain it in a way that clicked for him.
So thank you. It means so much to see it out there explained in plain terms by someone who not only gets it but is spending his life putting it into practice and HELPING. Thank you thank you thank you.
I don't think anyone has ever explained exactly how i feel about life and my mental health until I found Scott.
How I wish I could communicate even half as well as this guy; I am in total awe of his ability to convey positivity. It always feels so personal, like he's just speaking to you alone.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Damn, he's good.
Nothing you say is cheesy you are ABSOLUTELY AMAZING and helping soooooo many people out there and know you are an Angel dropped from heaven to do everything you do!!
I completely agree. I have always been a little overweight. I got close to 300 pounds (not shaming, just sharing) after having my 4th child. I have a blockage in my bile ducks that's been there for about 19 years or so (I'm 34) and I didn't find out until January of this year what was causing my pain. I ended up sick starting in November 2023 and ended up losing a little over 100 pounds in less than 5 months. During that time everything else went downhill all of my relationships, my work, I fell into the worst depression of my life to the point where I was having trouble getting out of bed and speaking and completing daily basic tasks. I'm still dealing with this. I haven't found a therapist yet but I'm on the lookout.
I am 70 now and have suffered from anxiety/panic disorder, at times acute and depression all of my life. I wish I would have had a resource such as this channel when I was in my 20's (in an abusive marriage) worst health of my life. I know that you genuinely understand because you have been through the mill too. Mostly people, including family don't understand and I have felt very alone most of my life. Stress (life being out of control, financially or otherwise )is definitely my trigger. When I perceive I am secure and safe life can tick along for stretches of time without a glitch or a symptom. Thank you Dr. Scott for taking the time to make these videos available to those of us who can't access any other help. 🙏
Thank you! I spent years in therapy after having a child. That event made me acutely aware of how traumatic my childhood was. Through all that talk therapy, I never experienced a professional who provided so much rich and beneficial ideas that improve the quality of life. Thank you!
I am 72, and this makes complete sense! When I keep a well-rounded life, a step at a time and a day at a time, making even little advances in small goals, then overall, I find myself basically happy and contented. My faith in Jesus and what he's done to show how immensely God loves us by his grace and bringing that to mind and heart daily is the most important thing that keeps me moving forward. And being thankful for all the small daily blessings put in front of you. Keeping a contented mind as you move along even when working on new goals, trusting all things will work together for your good, as God says they will. Thank you, Dr. Scott!❤😊
YT's algorithm put one of your videos in my feed, and it's spooky, how predictable I must be. I've been pretty distressed for the last couple of weeks -- it's always like that on holidays, but this time, I found out that my worst fears -- being excluded by family -- came true. I knew it. I freaking knew it. I've been through this before, and (kick self) I later laughed at myself for being paranoid.
Not god for one's self esteem, and I dread the idea of a family member showing up & charming me back into laughing at myself.
I've been googling how to trust oneself, because that's the issue I can start working on, and my plan is: walking & picking garbage up around the village. Get myself out of the house since I tend to self-isolate.. I'm hoping I'll have more ideas, and your videos are helping.
This gave me an idea for a video
!!! @@DrScottEilers
I like your concepts. The broken transmitter idea is very profound and useful.
I listened to you. I have these these passive suicidal thoughts and yes following through scares me and I wonder when will I do it. And I can’t be happy with my life and it’s nothing really. Thank you for helping me get some incite as to why I still here.
That faulty translater is EXACTLY right. So much of my life has been lost because my inner translation told me something that was not true. And it is so difficult. My "translater" constantly told me people were not understanding and quick to anger and expected perfectionism of me, and so I have projected that on people who just want to accept me. Working through it is probably the most difficult process I have (it is still an ongoing process).
Can't even begin to express how insightful your videos are... Thank you.... I wish you all the happiness....
I thank you with the deepest gratitude for this channel. This is a profound and greatly beneficial message for me.
Finally! A concise description of the disconnect I feel with depression. It sucks to struggle just to communicate. It feels exhausting. I need a book that breaks down the rules. I have never had a clue how to decipher the rules. I was raised to be a good catholic girl with all that implies. So I have to fight through the misinformation and attempts to mislead built
into religious training.
By the time you get to the surface you are battered bleeding and worn out.
Welcome to the beginning.
Wow I sound so negative. Sorry for that.
Thank you Dr Scott for the information. You help.
This has totally resonated with me. I live how you think and how you explain things. There is no shortage of experts who rapid-fire technical jargon out there, but you make it real and relevant. Thank you
This was again, so genuine and helpful! You are standout among a crowd of booksmart, not "lifesmart" therapists. You are living this, and come from a place of " knowing " what this feels like firsthand! You are a gift to us all🎉
You are an excellent teacher. You do not speak from what you've learned from books, you speak from your heart. Sincerety is hard to find today. You are a beautiful soul.
So I came across your videos a few weeks ago when I was in a very deep hole. I definitely had (passive) suicidal ideations and was looking for some helpful videos or people with similar experiences.
Don’t worry - I’m better at the moment and I‘ve arranged to go to a day clinic soon.
Just wanted to say that it’s extremely helpful of you to share your own experiences but through the filter of a professional, de-demonizing suicidality and giving a positive perspective that it can be overcome.
It often feels like it’s forbidden to talk about those things openly because it will make people see you as a freak and call 911 right away!
As you said in another video - mental illness is not always cute or quirky.
Sometimes it overshadows your whole life.
Anyway - I find your videos very relatable and helpful.
Sometimes I think more therapists should have gone through the „practical experience“ of having been mentally Ill themselves- although in reality I don’t wish that upon anyone of course!
Keep it up!👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
I have learned a lot, Dr. Scott. I'm 74 and worried about everyone in my family including Pap and I! Really stressful days throughout 2021-2023.
Thank you so much for your help. I'm 72 years old and have struggled that whole time. Your words are helping. I appreciate you for doing what you do.
Very interesting material that makes tons of sense! Thank you so much Dr. Eilers!
. You get it! I need a counselor like you! I live in a small town off the coast of NC. Know anyone that practices near me that you would recommend. Thank you for finally making where I am in life make a bit of sense. It’s nice to know that 1 person in this entire world understands where I am❤
Dr Scott again you answered my questions.
I have been paying Mental Health People for treatment for some 50 years.
In the last few days i have learned more about my problems and myself and Finally how to start to fix myself.
You are a Miracle to me.
Last month i O D.
I did live but i was planning to do something more final.
Like a gun.
This is when on TH-cam i came across your video on Suicide Ideation.
Now i have progressed to a morning routine and most of all getting outside and moving.
You truly are a gift from GOD.
There is a place for you already in Heaven GOD forbid when the time comes..
You are an amazing help Scott, it’s a bit tricky existing and negotiating the world alone, for too many years now, at nearly 70. I’ve started to struggle being surrounded by people more and more… It’s hard not to feel sad about a life that fell apart and dreams of a future that will now never happen (also seen your video re that🙏) despite my art, nature, the sea, mountains, my music and animals, I have a peaceful life, it’s the mind that ruins it! I am grateful daily, for you and your full-time side-hustle as you call it lol! Thank you so very, very much x
Goosebumps several times-- thank you! 💚
This concept helps me to even take time to recognize when my processing of stimuli shifts even if for a moment to receive something I do process into a pleasant feeling or happiness.
This may be the best content I have found on TH-cam. You are truly gifted. Thank you for sharing your helpful insights in such a down-to-earth and accessible way.
You’re absolutely fantastic, and there’s so much value to your content. Thank you so much for putting all this hard work in so that so many of us can benefit from it
You have no idea what this just meant to me. All of your material is amazing. But. This. This. It’s what I needed. Thank you so much for all that you are doing!!
Dr Eilhers, you are a very wise, empathetic, intelligent and articulate man. Thank you for posting what is essentially therapy in a video. You help thousands of people. God bless.
After some really hard events in my life, finally I can say that I find happiness, how? I'm in peace with myself, with my personality and identity, with my positive aspects and my limits. I don't have a perfect life, actually I'm doing a lot of deep changes in my life, but when you feel confident of yourself , with acceptance of your limits and your capabilities, when you feel love for yourself, for me, that's the real happiness.
Hey doc I just wanted to say thanks. Everything you say makes a whole lot of sense and I knew or, know most of it already it's just hard to remember
Thank you ! I sent it to my daughter too . Opened my eyes answered so much. Just to realize what you said but how you explained it is so true. Really helpful.again thank you. I see a couslor for an hour and don't get anything realized like this neacha in Alaska. If your not healthy you don't have anything .so true
being productive and making a difference.
Thank you for this video. I'm struggling for a while now with some degree of depression and stress. All the things I used to enjoy doing are no longer enjoyable. Like nature for example, I used to love being in nature, now I don't feel anything. Listen to Music is another example. Some hobbies that I've enjoyed in the past, don't bring me joy. I don't know how to start fining new things when I don't know what I love to do. Like I need to erase all and start again. Therapist suggests all kinds of things to try, very hard when nothing feels like it (49y old, in therapy, no meds for 2 years)