Scott, I’ve been listening to you again and again in the past few weeks and I want you to know that you’ve been literally saving my life . Your wisdom and passion and the desire to share what you know and understand about mental challenges are a priceless gift to anyone who is struggling and finds it difficult to hang onto hope. Most shrinks on the Internet have only intellectual understanding of what real hell is all about. What can they teach us? Thank you for all this abundance of knowledge and support. You are wonderful and I’m looking forward for your next post.💙
Thank you so much - words can never be enough to express what a life line you are. After years of searching for ways to handle my depression- you are unique because you are not afraid to address what is holding us back. Perfection was for 20 years my enemy - and fool I was, I was actually proud of having the reputation of being the absolute best in my field. But I always strived to be eben more perfect - better than perfect. The fear of perhaps once not living up to my standards (which I unfairly expected from every person in my orbit) it pushed me to a break down. I am depressed how immature I have been. I am learning thanks to you so much, I never understood the pressure I put myself under. Thanks, thanks a million times. Everyday I shall listen to you. You are amazing. Wish you lived round the corner from me. Bless your generosity to share so openly, not many people would do that.🙏😇😘
I am typing this on October 17th, 2023. This video is now six months old and only has 696 views. Just bookmarking this for anyone that is reading this years from now. There is so much free, EFFECTIVE info in this one.
We have to create a bit of reward ourselves, however how small. I get anhedonia too. It's then that I celebrate any little victory. Sometimes I say, yeah, or do a little clap. Doesn't matter if I feel silly doing it, it does create a little reward. We respond to praise. I can tell my cats that I did it. Saying it out loud helps.
I used to take before and after pictures of my place when I did a massive cleaning marathon.... For some reason that was the only way that I could actually realize what a difference I had just made🤷
Great idea...I always say to make a written list of things you got done on a certain day so you can actually see how much you did specifically. Both ideas show us that we can do it.
Great idea. Occasionally I pretend I'm Aurikateriina and video the before and even use her endearing words like "trashes" - "so many trashes" in relation to anything dirty and then film some cleaning even using the same hand movements as her. Contrary to Scott's message about perfectionism, I find trying to clean perfectly like Auri actually takes the boredom out of cleaning and inspires me to clean and do a great job of it. If I have a day where I'm depressed and lacking motivation, I will put on an episode of Hoarders. That also inspires me to clean as then I think, oh I never want to be like that.
The first (and last) time I went for a fitness assessment at a gym, there was a poster on the wall that said: "The hardest part about exercise is changing your clothes". Excellent content and delivery, as usual. Your videos have become an important component of what's keeping me going at the moment through a massively debilitating depression ...
I listen to your podcasts while I’m working around the house. These days I catch my face smiling. I had a series of traumatic experiences that I’m still struggling with almost 20 years later. Your podcasts are another tool I’ve added for my mental health.
Thats a good point about doing it for a short time and STOPPING. I will just go on an all day cleaning spree and my brain just interprets that as getting sanctioned with more cleaning so I feel like i get burned out. I subconsciously rebel when the only thing i get for doing chores is more chores instead of doing something that i want to do.
You are right. I accidentally started to listen to videos podcasts etc.. while prepping and cooking dinner. What a difference it has made. I’ve even baked for Christmas and New years this year! Because listening to these favorite podcasts is something I look forward to.. That’s my reward!! Now I need a big reward to push me to shower and get dressed every day😂
Wow this was so helpful to me. I suffer from chronic major depression and severe ADHD and overwhelm and severe procrastination has been so bad for my self-esteem and confidence. My reward system is almost non-existent so any tips to help with this is huge! My brain views the simplest tasks of effort as huge ordeals- and I am learning to affirm any progress to increase my reward system. What is awful is how much shame this creates because I view myself as lazy and unappreciative and that is so damaging and further increases the spiral downwards. Thank You! I love your channel!
I struggle with daily activities. I'm a single person with pets. Noone to be disappointed in me, except me. I don't have motivation, energy and the care to do much. Maybe I need to create a system to get me motivation
That’s the problem. Sometimes I have to literally talk my own self into doing something but it’s possible. Just whatever you can do but don’t give up.💞
I do better when i write down every little thing I do. Make bed Feed animals Wash even a few dishes Run the washer When i put every little thing down, it adds up and i see everything i did. Otherwise, i see the HALF done chores. I write down every time i go to town, shop, go the church or be around friends and family. All of those are big things. I braided my hair and i think i look pretty
That first explanation about reward vs effort is exactly how i feel when i have to do something like go to an event like a wedding of birthday party. I have too much anxiety for these things . But when It's time to practice on my guitar I can't wait to pick up my guitars and practice.
Same. Social events bring a lot of anxiety. I have to take a 'security blanket' with me. It will sound silly, and might even be silly - but I take a needlework project with me in the car. I can't possibly do the project at the wedding. LOL But it is along for the ride. Take your guitar in the car with you, put a guitar pick in your pants pocket.
Be careful of the add-on to the limit advice (that you don't have to stop, and may actually find it easy to keep going) I heard this many many years ago from a therapist, and it stopped it working for me at all. I'm recently trying again, and getting it to work by actually making it a hard limit ("I will work for 15mins" -> after 15mins I stop, even if it's going well) I think the reason is, I heard it as an expectation: the aim of this is to trick you into doing something, and if you only do the allotted time, you've failed. So it actually ramped up the pressure, because my brain knew that even though I was saying "read one page" what I actually meant was "read three chapters" - and if I read one page and didn't continue, I felt like a failure.
When I folded and hung up my laundry yesterday I listened to your entire podcast along with others which made me feel like I was not just folding laundry but helping my mental condition. You are spot on about doing something worthwhile while completing a chore you detest. . Same with exercising. When I take my ebike out for a ride, I have a powerful speaker system on my ebike so not only do I exercise my body I also exercise my mind by learning to a new topic or listening to an audio book. Makes exercising fun and not something I need to do but something I want to do. . As Tony Robbins would say I am making a new neuro association that laundry and exercise is fun and educational . I am now about to attempt the most daunting task I am facing which is open two years of mail and file away piles of important paperwork like my mom's living will, passport, birth certificate etc. God forbid my mom got sick and I couldn't find her living will I would never forgive myself. Wish me luck because I am about to start any moment. I am procrastinating by watching your video when I should be sorting paperwork at the same time I am listening to your videos. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power because if we know what to do and not act on it the knowledge is useless. And yes I am a perfectionist. Tony Robbins also talked about breaking down large tasks until small ones which he called "chunking" if I remember correctly. You are spot on.
I cannot believe how fortunate i am having discovered you, Dr Scott. Thank you so much for doing what youre doing. The clarity and structure in presenting these issues makes it incredibly easy to relate and make plans around change🙏🏼🥺
I did the GREAT positivity reinforcement !!after i put the dishes away . I got this NEW tray with lemons on it to condense the dishes in a mental way , since i do them by hand. It HELPS SO much !! 😊😼👏👏
Has anyone else. For whatever reason .. Loss their Job,.. and fall into the worst depression? With constant stress and anxiety that causes panic attacks, and sleepless insomnia.? ... I feel so completely devastated. I have all the symptoms of severe depression. Anhedonia " ..... im not living anymore. " Unable'. describes me ... Im so alone,.. in this dark place. I don't want to go on anymore
@lizbits9339 Thank you for caring ⚘️ Yes. You've described depression well.!! Also..... the isolation 😣 I appreciate your reply, I have difficulty explaining, depression. It's been 8 months.... and im still mentally paralyzed. How are you..?
@klanderkal hi I have been where you are that I felt like ending it.. it was that bad I almost crashed my car. I cried out loudly felt so alone as well as suicidal. My son happened to call while I was crying on the floor and sat with me until I talked out my fears feelings etc.. it's still not good but I'm opening up and trying each day to find purpose in my life. Nothing brings me joy anymore. Wish you the very best in your recovery be kind to yourself and hope that your situation changes.
Thank you! The fact that you went through what you did on your own journey might have seemed meaningless at the time but you did it for every single one of us that you are helping now, and for the you that you became thanks to over coming those struggles. Thank you!
Definitely a lot of great advice on a lot of stuff that I struggle with , I’m going to start doing this with housework and start appreciating how good i am at it ❤❤❤
@@esthermaggard8682 Yes, it's great plan Esther, and I'm sure it's helping. Your reply to the doctor really made me smile. You're getting the hang of this quick.
I think it’s also not just the pay off of the behaviour but your knowledge in your ability based on your emotional or physical resources. Affter Covid or trauma or a knee injury , for example, climbing the stairs or getting out of bed is exhausting, the consequent apathy and frustration in losing your abilities and resources makes you depressed. The pain and exhaustion acts as an avoidant reinforcer. That’s not perception, it’s fact.
Dr. Scott approaches the underlying motivations and behavior influences that guide the direction and quality of our lives. The most fascinating and profound of his insights is that it is shared in a very ‘non clinical’ manner that is easily understood and absorbed. Reality is that we each are affected by the movies that play in our minds. However, we can learn to choose our concept of the plot and adjust the ending.
Thanks Doc....I really need to hear all this at the moment. I am sooo grateful that you are so honest with your own experiences with your mental health. It makes you so relatable & you treat everyone like they matter. Many thanks.
I love listening to you. Everything you say in your podcasts is so real and helpful. Thank you. I don't mind laundry or dishes etc but hate vacuuming. I must offer some kind of reward for it and see how it works. Thank you.
What I still can't figure out with this is I keep perceiving the things that are rewarding to me as high-effort and anxiety-inducing, even though I have done it many many times and feel rewarded almost every time I decide to do it. Maybe it's because I feel constantly chased by other things that I perceive as more necessary for my survival but drain me of most of my energy.
Another great, practical video that I watched three times to reinforce the fab tricks and ideas you teach in it! Thank you so much! I really like your natural, relaxed way of speaking in your videos, very relatable indeed!
I LOVE this - these are the two strategies that I am currently implementing in my life to fight my depression and I am working on turning them into habits. 🎉
Dr Scott, I remembered something in the literature that I read: that you have to practice a technique for gaining equilibrium WHILE YOU ARE IN THE MENTAL STATE THAT YOU WANT TO AFFECT. So when I am having a PTSD meltdown, I need to practice deep breathing while I'm in an emotional state that has all of the emotions that I feel during a PTSD meltdown. I discussed this with my therapist at the time and neither of us could figure out how to bring about that intense emotional state in the therapy session unless she tornented me and professional ethics prevented her from doing that.
💙💙 love everything you do to help those of us struggling with chronic anxiety everyday and actually understand our struggles you are truly a blessing to all of us 💙💙
That's amazing explanation Scott. Your channel is one of the most insightful, with through explanations when it comes down to connecting all the aspects of theories from different fields. Keep up the good work.
I'm blessed not to hate folding laundry. You know why? I'm not very careful or precise. And I don't effin care if it's not that tidy. Hence, it's low effort. This is consistent with the doctor's theory. I also listen to music while exercising. This is better than podcasts.
So strange....every time I read a topic in your book, on my kindle, I wake up the next day and the corresponding video on that topic gets recommended 😮
Dr Scott your ideas and perspective are powerful, thank you! Can you please share any strategies on how to stop unwanted habits? Also strategies on how to overcome or out-trick the self destructive mentality that many survivors relied upon to keep themselves as “the one who caused” the trauma?’ I find this is excruciatingly hard to abandon this self destructive urge/ mindset once and for all. Because l’ll be doing great for many seasons of life and then all of a sudden its THERE as a ‘safe’ default when faced with times of situational sadness or sudden life difficulties.
Dang dude as soon as you mentioned laundry around 9 minutes in, I immediately thought of listening to YOU while a person folds laundry, which is what I'm doing and have been doing. Gotta love synchronicity.
Oh wow! I encourage myself with, " you are a good girl" like petting my dog when he obeys when I finish laundry, changing sheets... ha. I need to apply this to vaccuming. Thank you for these vids.
Why is the KonMarie method successful? _Because she has a goofy way to fold clothes!_ I know the KonMarie method is cliche and some hate it, but it's useful to watch carefully _why_ it works. She insists that you fold clothes so they stand up. I realized this isn't because the folding is best, but because standing up is _rewarding._ It's very satisfying. And when you get a small hit of joy for every item you fold, it makes folding much more joyful. So it's not the method, but the tiny reward for each item. There are many aspects of it that people miss because they think they're stupid or trite or silly. * She thanks the space before she begins * You envision what you want * You thank items youre getting rid of. These aren't steps to skip. _They are the reason the method works._
I had the task of driving 3 hours one way to pick up my neice once a month......3 hours there she stayed one weeked.....3 hours back......plus 1.5 halfway return trip. It was a drive I dreaded so bad......but I knew I was going to get to see my sweet neice......so the drive never bothered me and never seemed like it took that long. I associated the reward with the task....... Side note......her father no longer let's us see her, so I'm spiraling in depression pretty bad now.
I do chores according to video length. I pick a 20 and 30 minutes video and just work for the length of it. If I have a low energy day..i listen to 10 to 15 minutes. I do the same walking my dogs when i haven't energy. I have a really big yard, so my dogs have a place to run....they have a dogs door as well and are older so, they can't walk too far either.
I been using if i dont find the trick of " if i dont find the perfect pants " i wouldn't buy any ".!!! & For a loong time ! Awesome!!!! 🎉🎉🎉 It felt SO GOOD!!! 😼😲🎉🎉👏👏
Scott, thank you so much for your fantastic videos. As a person with MDD, treated by a competent provider who prescribes, I still value your input though I am doing well these days. You provide such valuable information.
Wow Iv been going through this same stuff as ur talking about ur the only person I will be feel I can truly listen to To try to heal from this way Iv been living .thank you so,, much.
Scott, i make beautiful unique dream catchers! I’ll use any excuse not to complete one! If i did it every day it would be some part of a routine but because it’sa creative on off I convince myself i will fail! Yes i wait weeks to get into ‘the right frame of mind!’ So frustrating! 😵💫
Sit outside and take only one dreamcatcher and the material for one, and do it outside. The expanse of the outdoors will open up your neural pathways and there will be less distraction. Preferably in your backyard, or even at a park picnic table near some water.
I have many different skill sets. for me a reluctance to attempt a task depends upon the likelihood of my making the situation worse by messing up. for example I went to change a windshield wiper blade the day before vacation. the arm slipped out of my hands and I cracked the windshield. And this is from a guy who has successfully rebuilt an entire engine
I thought the problem would be that we use a lot of energy to commit to our tasks and then short before go over to the phase of accomplishing the tasks and in this phase don’t accept any more tasks for this day.
The chariots of fire theme song used to literally go through my head every time I took out the trash when I lived in this certain apartment that had the garbage bin further away😂 I procrastinated for so long that by the time I did it I felt absolutely triumphant....followed by realizing what a parhetic loser i must be for recognizing this to be my greatest lifetime achievement 😳😆
Interesting model. Cognitive/psychological anthropologist would probably add punishment as 3rd variable besides effort and award. It also plays a role in personal cognitive schemes and motivation.
I HATE doing dishes.😂 Until I reframed it into - I really hate dirty dishes. Now I can't stand to see them sitting there. Also I found I preferred doing them by hand (unless a big function), because I would leave them in the dishwasher, and just get a clean glass out of the cupboard. If I 'see' them in the drain rack I put them away much faster.
The sheer amount of unconsequential disposable knowledge one must acquire to function is so enourmous it just weighs you down. I do not want to learn much of that soon doomed to be forgotten procedural knowledge, there is no way to trick your mind to that extent.
You have a racing mind. You might have ADHD, and can't filter out unnecessary noise. If you don't want to take meds, first try getting off all wheat and grain products, all sugars, limit dairy. Go very basic - protein and some vegetables. Get sunshine and a 20 minute walk every day. Twenty minutes of anything physical will calm the noise in your head.
Could you please let me know how to overcome depression without regular, or any income for that matter? I'm back at the edge again. cannot cure anything in this world without those pieces of paper, with horrible pictures on them. If I find the financial means I could overcome. I am a 70 year old white male dying in Johannesburg, South Africa. there's no hope left here.
I can Totally relate!! I just retired and I hate it!! Depression is so dam horrible! The anxiety is crippling. I can't even go outside anymore. I got insomnia... I cannot even sleep!! Living is so unbearable . Do you feel this way also?.. 😫
@klanderkal it takes almost a year after retirement to learn to relax and let go. The image of ourselves was so closely equated with work/working that we don't know how to fill the void yet with the rest of our person. Definitely get out in nature for at least 20 minutes early in the day. Volunteer somewhere once a week - a church, a school, an animal shelter, library, anywhere. This will give you one concrete goal where you have to leave the house. Temporarily take benadryl at night to get drowsy, no screens after 8pm, take a hot shower, and read for half an hour, even if it's just flipping through a magazine. Routines really help.
I cant keep going...dont know why. I live in a house where theres inconsiderate people keeping me awake im 36 kilo have abnormal cells and am too small to get them treated wouldnt survive the sedation. Im just going to lose more weight from sleep deprivation. Lost it when care staff said they were done cleaning and them started slamming brushes into the stairs after i went to bed got up at 5 am grabbed a brush and made as much noise as possible. Minutes before id watched a night staff empty the dishwasher. Id been wondering why my sleep was so bad.
You need a social services advocate, one that is outside the agency where you reside. Do a Google search, and make some calls. Keep complaining in a constructive way - make a notebook with dates and times that this happens. Take photos with a timestamp as evidence.
My rewards involve having a hobby or buying that coffee out... all cost money, which I don't have. I am starting to do what your football announcer did, of noticing little achievements.
Im not a psychologist, but do one small step at a time, one music listening for 5 minutes, or anything else, just a few minutes, bit by bit, until the pleasure comes back. You are like a car with no gas at all. Go progressively…. Even things less exciting, like taking a shower, will make you feel good. One shower = a bit of gas in your car, one music listening or book reading = a bit of gas in your car, a good 7-9 hour sleep = gas in your car, a 15 min walk = gas in your car, etc…. go slowly and progressively to put back « gas in your car »….
Thanks Scott I started two voluntary jobs to occupy myself and try and getrelief from depression and anxiety. Both involved I.T stuff which I know very little about. I could help been more sensible in my selection and could have picked less challenging jobs. I have given one up as my anxiety was affecting me physically(peein my self whilst tryin to advise clients ) .This might sound stupid but how can we know if a challenge is realistic to help in recovery?
Scott, I’ve been listening to you again and again in the past few weeks and I want you to know that you’ve been literally saving my life . Your wisdom and passion and the desire to share what you know and understand about mental challenges are a priceless gift to anyone who is struggling and finds it difficult to hang onto hope. Most shrinks on the Internet have only intellectual understanding of what real hell is all about. What can they teach us? Thank you for all this abundance of knowledge and support. You are wonderful and I’m looking forward for your next post.💙
💯💯💯
That is 100 percent for me too!!!
😊😊😊😊😊😊p
Couldn’t agree more. And also very well structured delivery!
Thank you so much - words can never be enough to express what a life line you are. After years of searching for ways to handle my depression- you are unique because you are not afraid to address what is holding us back. Perfection was for 20 years my enemy - and fool I was, I was actually proud of having the reputation of being the absolute best in my field. But I always strived to be eben more perfect - better than perfect. The fear of perhaps once not living up to my standards (which I unfairly expected from every person in my orbit) it pushed me to a break down. I am depressed how immature I have been. I am learning thanks to you so much, I never understood the pressure I put myself under. Thanks, thanks a million times. Everyday I shall listen to you. You are amazing. Wish you lived round the corner from me. Bless your generosity to share so openly, not many people would do that.🙏😇😘
I am typing this on October 17th, 2023. This video is now six months old and only has 696 views.
Just bookmarking this for anyone that is reading this years from now.
There is so much free, EFFECTIVE info in this one.
Hope all is well with you !
November 20, 2023 and there are 5.3thousand views. People are definitely watching and lives are being changed!
@@catzrule5973🎉🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏👏👏
27k views now! February 9, 2024
March 22, 2024- 33,047 🎉
This is so true. The worst thing about depression is that if feels horribly logical.
problem is with having anhedonia, i'm lacking the feeling of any reward. I just wish i could feel rewards again
We have to create a bit of reward ourselves, however how small. I get anhedonia too. It's then that I celebrate any little victory. Sometimes I say, yeah, or do a little clap. Doesn't matter if I feel silly doing it, it does create a little reward. We respond to praise. I can tell my cats that I did it. Saying it out loud helps.
@@saintejeannedarc9460 i hear yah. getting back in the gym has helped a bit
SAME.
Exactly. Norhing feels as a "reward" or a victory or a pleasure ...
@@saintejeannedarc9460 thx for sharing. I would try that.Did you figure out that it works on your own?
I used to take before and after pictures of my place when I did a massive cleaning marathon.... For some reason that was the only way that I could actually realize what a difference I had just made🤷
What an amazing idea! I'm literally going to do this,TY!!!👍
Great idea...I always say to make a written list of things you got done on a certain day so you can actually see how much you did specifically. Both ideas show us that we can do it.
This is genius!
Great idea!! Thanks!!
Great idea. Occasionally I pretend I'm Aurikateriina and video the before and even use her endearing words like "trashes" - "so many trashes" in relation to anything dirty and then film some cleaning even using the same hand movements as her. Contrary to Scott's message about perfectionism, I find trying to clean perfectly like Auri actually takes the boredom out of cleaning and inspires me to clean and do a great job of it. If I have a day where I'm depressed and lacking motivation, I will put on an episode of Hoarders. That also inspires me to clean as then I think, oh I never want to be like that.
The first (and last) time I went for a fitness assessment at a gym, there was a poster on the wall that said: "The hardest part about exercise is changing your clothes". Excellent content and delivery, as usual. Your videos have become an important component of what's keeping me going at the moment through a massively debilitating depression ...
I listen to your podcasts while I’m working around the house. These days I catch my face smiling. I had a series of traumatic experiences that I’m still struggling with almost 20 years later. Your podcasts are another tool I’ve added for my mental health.
Thats a good point about doing it for a short time and STOPPING. I will just go on an all day cleaning spree and my brain just interprets that as getting sanctioned with more cleaning so I feel like i get burned out. I subconsciously rebel when the only thing i get for doing chores is more chores instead of doing something that i want to do.
You are right. I accidentally started to listen to videos podcasts etc.. while prepping and cooking dinner. What a difference it has made. I’ve even baked for Christmas and New years this year! Because listening to these favorite podcasts is something I look forward to.. That’s my reward!!
Now I need a big reward to push me to shower and get dressed every day😂
Wow this was so helpful to me. I suffer from chronic major depression and severe ADHD and overwhelm and severe procrastination has been so bad for my self-esteem and confidence. My reward system is almost non-existent so any tips to help with this is huge! My brain views the simplest tasks of effort as huge ordeals- and I am learning to affirm any progress to increase my reward system. What is awful is how much shame this creates because I view myself as lazy and unappreciative and that is so damaging and further increases the spiral downwards. Thank You! I love your channel!
I've been struggling with this for decades
@@merncat3384same
I struggle with daily activities. I'm a single person with pets.
Noone to be disappointed in me, except me. I don't have motivation, energy and the care to do much. Maybe I need to create a system to get me motivation
I struggle with paying bills by phone, dishes, making my bed...the simplest of tasks....
That’s the problem. Sometimes I have to literally talk my own self into doing something but it’s possible. Just whatever you can do but don’t give up.💞
I do better when i write down every little thing I do.
Make bed
Feed animals
Wash even a few dishes
Run the washer
When i put every little thing down, it adds up and i see everything i did. Otherwise, i see the HALF done chores.
I write down every time i go to town, shop, go the church or be around friends and family. All of those are big things.
I braided my hair and i think i look pretty
Me too
That first explanation about reward vs effort is exactly how i feel when i have to do something like go to an event like a wedding of birthday party. I have too much anxiety for these things .
But when It's time to practice on my guitar I can't wait to pick up my guitars and practice.
Same. Social events bring a lot of anxiety. I have to take a 'security blanket' with me. It will sound silly, and might even be silly - but I take a needlework project with me in the car. I can't possibly do the project at the wedding. LOL But it is along for the ride. Take your guitar in the car with you, put a guitar pick in your pants pocket.
Be careful of the add-on to the limit advice (that you don't have to stop, and may actually find it easy to keep going) I heard this many many years ago from a therapist, and it stopped it working for me at all. I'm recently trying again, and getting it to work by actually making it a hard limit ("I will work for 15mins" -> after 15mins I stop, even if it's going well)
I think the reason is, I heard it as an expectation: the aim of this is to trick you into doing something, and if you only do the allotted time, you've failed. So it actually ramped up the pressure, because my brain knew that even though I was saying "read one page" what I actually meant was "read three chapters" - and if I read one page and didn't continue, I felt like a failure.
When I folded and hung up my laundry yesterday I listened to your entire podcast along with others which made me feel like I was not just folding laundry but helping my mental condition. You are spot on about doing something worthwhile while completing a chore you detest. . Same with exercising. When I take my ebike out for a ride, I have a powerful speaker system on my ebike so not only do I exercise my body I also exercise my mind by learning to a new topic or listening to an audio book. Makes exercising fun and not something I need to do but something I want to do. . As Tony Robbins would say I am making a new neuro association that laundry and exercise is fun and educational . I am now about to attempt the most daunting task I am facing which is open two years of mail and file away piles of important paperwork like my mom's living will, passport, birth certificate etc. God forbid my mom got sick and I couldn't find her living will I would never forgive myself. Wish me luck because I am about to start any moment. I am procrastinating by watching your video when I should be sorting paperwork at the same time I am listening to your videos. Knowledge is not power. Knowledge is potential power because if we know what to do and not act on it the knowledge is useless. And yes I am a perfectionist. Tony Robbins also talked about breaking down large tasks until small ones which he called "chunking" if I remember correctly. You are spot on.
" perfect is the enemy of GREAT " . " or a bully " . EPIC SAYING !!! 😲👏👏
This guy is so smart and he is really helping people struggling out there and sharing his wisdom. What a 💎!
I'm addicted to this channel.
Wish the volume was better.
This guy is brilliant
I cannot believe how fortunate i am having discovered you, Dr Scott. Thank you so much for doing what youre doing. The clarity and structure in presenting these issues makes it incredibly easy to relate and make plans around change🙏🏼🥺
The time limit worked best for me, knowing the dishwasher onky taks 3 mins to unload makes the task seem less of a hill to climb.
I did the GREAT positivity reinforcement !!after i put the dishes away .
I got this NEW tray with lemons on it to condense the dishes in a mental way , since i do them by hand.
It HELPS SO much !!
😊😼👏👏
I am having a hard time with depression and anxiety. I need deliverance. I don't want to live
Has anyone else. For whatever reason ..
Loss their Job,.. and fall into the worst depression? With constant stress and anxiety that causes panic attacks, and sleepless insomnia.?
... I feel so completely devastated. I have all the symptoms of severe depression. Anhedonia "
..... im not living anymore.
" Unable'. describes me ...
Im so alone,.. in this dark place. I don't want to go on anymore
Yes. Depression is like having the worst monster you could ever imagine in your worst nightmare. I think it’s the isolation that’s so painful.
@lizbits9339 Thank you for caring ⚘️
Yes. You've described depression well.!!
Also..... the isolation 😣
I appreciate your reply, I have difficulty explaining, depression.
It's been 8 months.... and im still mentally paralyzed.
How are you..?
@klanderkal hi I have been where you are that I felt like ending it.. it was that bad I almost crashed my car. I cried out loudly felt so alone as well as suicidal. My son happened to call while I was crying on the floor and sat with me until I talked out my fears feelings etc.. it's still not good but I'm opening up and trying each day to find purpose in my life. Nothing brings me joy anymore. Wish you the very best in your recovery be kind to yourself and hope that your situation changes.
Thank you! The fact that you went through what you did on your own journey might have seemed meaningless at the time but you did it for every single one of us that you are helping now, and for the you that you became thanks to over coming those struggles. Thank you!
Definitely a lot of great advice on a lot of stuff that I struggle with , I’m going to start doing this with housework and start appreciating how good i am at it ❤❤❤
That’s a great plan Esther!
@@DrScottEilers yes it is isn’t :)
@@esthermaggard8682 Yes, it's great plan Esther, and I'm sure it's helping. Your reply to the doctor really made me smile. You're getting the hang of this quick.
I think it’s also not just the pay off of the behaviour but your knowledge in your ability based on your emotional or physical resources. Affter Covid or trauma or a knee injury , for example, climbing the stairs or getting out of bed is exhausting, the consequent apathy and frustration in losing your abilities and resources makes you depressed. The pain and exhaustion acts as an avoidant reinforcer. That’s not perception, it’s fact.
Dr. Scott approaches the underlying motivations and behavior influences that guide the direction and quality of our lives.
The most fascinating and profound of his insights is that it is shared in a very ‘non clinical’ manner that is easily understood and absorbed.
Reality is that we each are affected by the movies that play in our minds. However, we can learn to choose our concept of the plot and adjust the ending.
Thanks Doc....I really need to hear all this at the moment. I am sooo grateful that you are so honest with your own experiences with your mental health. It makes you so relatable & you treat everyone like they matter. Many thanks.
I love listening to you. Everything you say in your podcasts is so real and helpful. Thank you. I don't mind laundry or dishes etc but hate vacuuming. I must offer some kind of reward for it and see how it works. Thank you.
Hence the saying 'the neurons that fire together wire together.' Operant conditioning in practice. Amazing video. Thank you 🙂 ❤
What I still can't figure out with this is I keep perceiving the things that are rewarding to me as high-effort and anxiety-inducing, even though I have done it many many times and feel rewarded almost every time I decide to do it. Maybe it's because I feel constantly chased by other things that I perceive as more necessary for my survival but drain me of most of my energy.
Jeez you REALLY know and understand what you’re talking about Scott. I’m so thankful you decided to create this channel✌️💜🇬🇧🇬🇧
This TOTALLY HIT HOME!!! Thank You Dr. Scott....
Another great, practical video that I watched three times to reinforce the fab tricks and ideas you teach in it! Thank you so much! I really like your natural, relaxed way of speaking in your videos, very relatable indeed!
I LOVE this - these are the two strategies that I am currently implementing in my life to fight my depression and I am working on turning them into habits. 🎉
You're so right on. Thank you. I used to have a therapist but she didn't understand the two items fighting each other.
The description of Jon Madden was awesome, put a huge smile on my face to picture him appreciating those small, non obvious details. ❤
Dr Scott, I remembered something in the literature that I read: that you have to practice a technique for gaining equilibrium WHILE YOU ARE IN THE MENTAL STATE THAT YOU WANT TO AFFECT.
So when I am having a PTSD meltdown, I need to practice deep breathing while I'm in an emotional state that has all of the emotions that I feel during a PTSD meltdown.
I discussed this with my therapist at the time and neither of us could figure out how to bring about that intense emotional state in the therapy session unless she tornented me and professional ethics prevented her from doing that.
I do that all the time after completing house tasks, making special trips to admire my handiwork sometimes.
💙💙 love everything you do to help those of us struggling with chronic anxiety everyday and actually understand our struggles you are truly a blessing to all of us 💙💙
Please keep these going. They are really helpful. Well done. I'm going to take photos of the work I have done to reflect. 😊
I enjoy your videos so much. What makes you so wonderful and helpful is that you have walked the walk.
That's amazing explanation Scott. Your channel is one of the most insightful, with through explanations when it comes down to connecting all the aspects of theories from different fields. Keep up the good work.
I'm blessed not to hate folding laundry. You know why? I'm not very careful or precise. And I don't effin care if it's not that tidy. Hence, it's low effort. This is consistent with the doctor's theory. I also listen to music while exercising. This is better than podcasts.
Try pairing Dr Scott videos with an elliptical workout 💪
TY soooo much for this! No one talks about this, and its so REAL! I needed this so badly, I can't appreciate your videos enough. 👍👍👍
Great advice, and tactics (a time limit, etc) for overcoming procrastination.
So strange....every time I read a topic in your book, on my kindle, I wake up the next day and the corresponding video on that topic gets recommended 😮
Thank you Dr.Scott🙏
Such a helpful Video
Dr Scott your ideas and perspective are powerful, thank you!
Can you please share any strategies on how to stop unwanted habits?
Also strategies on how to overcome or out-trick the self destructive mentality that many survivors relied upon to keep themselves as “the one who caused” the trauma?’ I find this is excruciatingly hard to abandon this self destructive urge/ mindset once and for all. Because l’ll be doing great for many seasons of life and then all of a sudden its THERE as a ‘safe’ default when faced with times of situational sadness or sudden life difficulties.
Dang dude as soon as you mentioned laundry around 9 minutes in, I immediately thought of listening to YOU while a person folds laundry, which is what I'm doing and have been doing. Gotta love synchronicity.
I wonder how many clean closets and dressers I am indirectly responsible for 😁
Oh wow! I encourage myself with, " you are a good girl" like petting my dog when he obeys when I finish laundry, changing sheets... ha.
I need to apply this to vaccuming.
Thank you for these vids.
Very useful, very specific ideas. Thank you.
Why is the KonMarie method successful? _Because she has a goofy way to fold clothes!_
I know the KonMarie method is cliche and some hate it, but it's useful to watch carefully _why_ it works.
She insists that you fold clothes so they stand up. I realized this isn't because the folding is best, but because standing up is _rewarding._ It's very satisfying. And when you get a small hit of joy for every item you fold, it makes folding much more joyful.
So it's not the method, but the tiny reward for each item.
There are many aspects of it that people miss because they think they're stupid or trite or silly.
* She thanks the space before she begins
* You envision what you want
* You thank items youre getting rid of.
These aren't steps to skip.
_They are the reason the method works._
This is so helpful. Thank you so very much 🙏
I had the task of driving 3 hours one way to pick up my neice once a month......3 hours there she stayed one weeked.....3 hours back......plus 1.5 halfway return trip.
It was a drive I dreaded so bad......but I knew I was going to get to see my sweet neice......so the drive never bothered me and never seemed like it took that long.
I associated the reward with the task.......
Side note......her father no longer let's us see her, so I'm spiraling in depression pretty bad now.
I do chores according to video length. I pick a 20 and 30 minutes video and just work for the length of it. If I have a low energy day..i listen to 10 to 15 minutes. I do the same walking my dogs when i haven't energy. I have a really big yard, so my dogs have a place to run....they have a dogs door as well and are older so, they can't walk too far either.
I been using if i dont find the trick of " if i dont find the perfect pants " i wouldn't buy any ".!!! & For a loong time !
Awesome!!!!
🎉🎉🎉
It felt SO GOOD!!! 😼😲🎉🎉👏👏
Inner John Madden that's so awesome! Way to go Scott! that's a touch down! Amazing call on the play!
Im curious to know how Dr. Scott and others relay to people that you need a minute to process, when asked something like this. ❤tyia
Scott, thank you so much for your fantastic videos.
As a person with MDD, treated by a competent provider who prescribes, I still value your input though I am doing well these days.
You provide such valuable information.
Wow Iv been going through this same stuff as ur talking about ur the only person I will be feel I can truly listen to To try to heal from this way Iv been living .thank you so,, much.
You are so smart and help so many people you are truly amazing
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR experience & knowledge !!🎉🎉👏👏👏
Scott, i make beautiful unique dream catchers! I’ll use any excuse not to complete one! If i did it every day it would be some part of a routine but because it’sa creative on off I convince myself i will fail! Yes i wait weeks to get into ‘the right frame of mind!’
So frustrating! 😵💫
Sit outside and take only one dreamcatcher and the material for one, and do it outside. The expanse of the outdoors will open up your neural pathways and there will be less distraction. Preferably in your backyard, or even at a park picnic table near some water.
THAT THING! I love when you talk about That thing! That would be great on a coffee cup or T-shirt . Yes
You are amazing with your wisdom x
I have many different skill sets. for me a reluctance to attempt a task depends upon the likelihood of my making the situation worse by messing up. for example I went to change a windshield wiper blade the day before vacation. the arm slipped out of my hands and I cracked the windshield. And this is from a guy who has successfully rebuilt an entire engine
how do i try to do this when i’m experiencing anhedonia and i don’t feel happy after anything ever
Make the effort as low as humanly possibly and check out my video on Anhedonia for more ideas there!
oh shit i just said the same thing lol
I am listening to this and folding laundry !!
I thought the problem would be that we use a lot of energy to commit to our tasks and then short before go over to the phase of accomplishing the tasks and in this phase don’t accept any more tasks for this day.
I feel some of these suggestions. Are not realistic for all of us! That makes me more discouraged.
I just got your book. Wished you would have narrated it. I like your voice. 😊
Next time I will!
I like what you are saying however i have trouble accomplishing activities that are low effort and high reward 😢
BIG GRATITUDE!!! ❤💫💥🏅🎖🥇🏆🏆🏆
These are awesome strategies, thank you for sharing!!
Hi , could you please have the things what you say in steps . 😃
Itd help SO MUCH !!
Idk who needs to hear this but: audiobooks audiobooks audiobooks
Watching this on April 8th 2024 post-eclipse.
I have stuff to do that I’m not doing because I’m watching this video. 😊
I love your advice and content. It's a great channel in general, thank you Mr Creator 🙌
The chariots of fire theme song used to literally go through my head every time I took out the trash when I lived in this certain apartment that had the garbage bin further away😂 I procrastinated for so long that by the time I did it I felt absolutely triumphant....followed by realizing what a parhetic loser i must be for recognizing this to be my greatest lifetime achievement 😳😆
Brilliantly presented!!
" before i did that ", i didn't like how it was before " .
I LIKE THAT ! 😃👏👏🤔
Looking for the cat video!
Always awesome! 🎉 thank you
If anyone is looking for more info on this topic, check out Judson Brewer’s books
Interesting model. Cognitive/psychological anthropologist would probably add punishment as 3rd variable besides effort and award. It also plays a role in personal cognitive schemes and motivation.
I HATE doing dishes.😂
Until I reframed it into - I really hate dirty dishes. Now I can't stand to see them sitting there.
Also I found I preferred doing them by hand (unless a big function), because I would leave them in the dishwasher, and just get a clean glass out of the cupboard.
If I 'see' them in the drain rack I put them away much faster.
Thank you so much .
The sheer amount of unconsequential disposable knowledge one must acquire to function is so enourmous it just weighs you down. I do not want to learn much of that soon doomed to be forgotten procedural knowledge, there is no way to trick your mind to that extent.
You have a racing mind. You might have ADHD, and can't filter out unnecessary noise. If you don't want to take meds, first try getting off all wheat and grain products, all sugars, limit dairy. Go very basic - protein and some vegetables. Get sunshine and a 20 minute walk every day. Twenty minutes of anything physical will calm the noise in your head.
Thanks man
Could you please let me know how to overcome depression without regular, or any income for that matter? I'm back at the edge again. cannot cure anything in this world without those pieces of paper, with horrible pictures on them. If I find the financial means I could overcome. I am a 70 year old white male dying in Johannesburg, South Africa. there's no hope left here.
Thankyou
Nothing helps if you are retired because of depression. You can do the dishes and take a shower if you "only" have a small burnout.
I can Totally relate!! I just retired and I hate it!! Depression is so dam horrible! The anxiety is crippling. I can't even go outside anymore. I got insomnia... I cannot even sleep!! Living is so unbearable . Do you feel this way also?.. 😫
@klanderkal it takes almost a year after retirement to learn to relax and let go. The image of ourselves was so closely equated with work/working that we don't know how to fill the void yet with the rest of our person. Definitely get out in nature for at least 20 minutes early in the day.
Volunteer somewhere once a week - a church, a school, an animal shelter, library, anywhere. This will give you one concrete goal where you have to leave the house.
Temporarily take benadryl at night to get drowsy, no screens after 8pm, take a hot shower, and read for half an hour, even if it's just flipping through a magazine. Routines really help.
I cant keep going...dont know why. I live in a house where theres inconsiderate people keeping me awake im 36 kilo have abnormal cells and am too small to get them treated wouldnt survive the sedation. Im just going to lose more weight from sleep deprivation. Lost it when care staff said they were done cleaning and them started slamming brushes into the stairs after i went to bed got up at 5 am grabbed a brush and made as much noise as possible. Minutes before id watched a night staff empty the dishwasher. Id been wondering why my sleep was so bad.
You need a social services advocate, one that is outside the agency where you reside. Do a Google search, and make some calls. Keep complaining in a constructive way - make a notebook with dates and times that this happens. Take photos with a timestamp as evidence.
i shouldn’t have watched this idk if i should turn it off or keep watching for a way out. feels like a trap im out
My rewards involve having a hobby or buying that coffee out... all cost money, which I don't have. I am starting to do what your football announcer did, of noticing little achievements.
I don't understand how it should work during depression. When you're literally indifferent to everything around you
Im not a psychologist, but do one small step at a time, one music listening for 5 minutes, or anything else, just a few minutes, bit by bit, until the pleasure comes back. You are like a car with no gas at all. Go progressively…. Even things less exciting, like taking a shower, will make you feel good. One shower = a bit of gas in your car, one music listening or book reading = a bit of gas in your car, a good 7-9 hour sleep = gas in your car, a 15 min walk = gas in your car, etc…. go slowly and progressively to put back « gas in your car »….
@@daniellefournier978 I can only sleep
I am struggling with that. Just cut off some coworkers that have been Highly irritating me so I chose to stop talking to them. Fake AF
Thanks Scott
I started two voluntary jobs to occupy myself and try and getrelief from depression and anxiety. Both involved I.T stuff which I know very little about. I could help been more sensible in my selection and could have picked less challenging jobs. I have given one up as my anxiety was affecting me physically(peein my self whilst tryin to advise clients ) .This might sound stupid but how can we know if a challenge is realistic to help in recovery?