Indeed. I'm experiencing this too. I've got the double whammy: depression and anxiety. Ugh. They take away my will power. Everything's a huge effort. I know what he's saying is true.. it takes lots of effort to get out of this.. unless an antidepressant works.. which mine hasn't yet. All the best to you, and me. Cheers
I really get it too. Have the double whammy many days too. I was plucky the first year and a half. I pushed myself to do all the family functions. Accepted more and more invites out. Did housework, forced myself to eat, paid my bills. Looked up lots of strategies. Looked forward to dating again. Got myself to regular dental appointments. Tried an ad. Tried EFT, made it worse. Tried meditation, helped somewhat, I think. Got in touch w/ old friends. Tried to make new connections. Got out a few times a week, started to walk more again. Tried to get counselling. filled out 4 damn depression questionaires (very depressing to remind myself how depressed I am, but this is a new system). Got through 2 months of that waiting list and was offered CBT to do on my own. Too depressed for that at this point.
I feel the same. When I have to go to work I gather all my energy to function (and I'm doing it well, nobody noticed my inner struggles so far and I get compliments because I'm doing a very good job), but in my free time at home or on my days off I sleep almost all day and it takes a LOT to do chores like laundry, making breakfast/dinner, getting ready and presentable and such. It's like all life is sucked out of me and my muscles don't have any strength left to move. 😢
Few ideas: 1. Action itself is not actually solely dependent on motivation. It's also dependent on how difficult it is to do something, and it's dependent on you getting a prompt to do the thing. 2. As such, if you feel yourself entering a depressive spiral, you generally can arrange your environment to make it as easy as possible for you to get the stuff done you need to. 3. This way, even when you're depressed as heck and the motivation is down, the sum total of prompt + motivation + easiness to do the thing will still get you to do it, even if your motivation is in the garbage right now.
Thanks man, really nice video. Really like that you said that depressive episodes can last for months or years. People usually think that you're supposed to feel better after a month, but no. This particular hell has no bottom end to it. My mind has turned into a mushy sponge through the almost non-stop depression for the past 15 years. It affects being as a whole. Chips away at your social life, physical health, mental health, finances, everything. One of the hardest things is that most people you will ever meet dont understand. You're bombarded by unhelpful or insensitive advice, and at some point you realize that you'll never make friends, or connect with people, cause they just aren't able to comprehend a very significant side of you.
@@JuggleBugsI'm wishing you the very best and I pray that everything you're planning comes to fruition, but just a gentle reminder that you can't leave the 'black dog' behind. Moving places doesn't fix everything magically. This is by no means meant to stop you or demotivate you!! Please don't think I'm trying to be negative, I'm just speaking from experience. Two months ago I moved to another city too and I had so many hopes and plans! But soon I realized that I still feel as shitty as before, that I'm still the very same person I was before. Where you go your depression will follow. 😢
Yeah, it's hard and it's obviously something that will power alone can't manage properly. That's why I think taking pills is a good option. If they work. I can't take any because of stomach issues.
And one of the hardest hitting thing about depression is that how it halts and destroys all the progess you had made at some given thing. I also started enjoying cooking at some point, learning some simple techniques and stuff. But I cooked for 2 weeks, then got depressed, and said goodbye to everything I had learned. Same happens with my actual profession. And basically anything I ever started. At some point I get depressed and my whole progress gets erased. Losing the products of your effort is a maddening thing
I agree. The depression comes out of nowhere. Also, I understand exactly how it feels to forget what it is like to be not-depressed. Once the depression-glasses come on, it is really frightening.
I find it hard to remember that feeling too. I almost came out a few months ago. I could get out the door w/out fighting through the agony of anxiety to push myself out. I was walking and doing errands most days again. I was feeling more confident and knew I was looking better. I was ok w/ being so thin and all the weight I'd lost. I could notice I was turning a few heads, even though I'm 56. My appetite was so much better and I wanted to eat, had finally put on 5 pounds, which I worked so ridiculously hard to do. I could feel peace some days, or half days and doing housework was easier again, and even was catching up on old clutter. Then it went back down. I think I might know why, but not a damn thing I can do about it.
@@christinemccoy4471 I wish it didn't happen to you and so many others too. I have huge empathy for those going through it. I don't know if we are somehow conditioned to think in more defeatist loops, or if it is a physical thing that some people are prone to. I have to figure something out, because it's getting worse as I get older, not better.
Cooking is my favorite hobby. I started as a child and have been making my own food for nearly 50 years. I love it because you take simple raw materials and see a completed dish in only a few hours. Almost nothing else gives you rewards that fast. I often compare it to the crafts I loved as a child. I use cookbooks and cooking videos, and I often listen to music. I have been depressed almost that long my life is a tremendous struggle for many reasons. One is that my father committed suicide, he was bipolar. The other is that my mother left when I was 15, and I was forced to support myself ever since. As I approach 60 she lives in the next county like I don’t exist. I’m convinced almost no one could survive my life. I also lost my beloved sister when we were teens. Now it’s been just me alone in the world since I was 19.
This is my first time at this channel and I got more out of these 23+ minutes than I have from anyone else. Firstly kudos to Dr Scott for admitting to having suffered depressive episodes himself - thus his advice makes SO much sense ie quit relying on social media to fill a void (or in my case, to pass a few empty hours); nurture yourself (rather than everyone around you); find something practical in which to 'invest' your time that you'll become absorbed in. You have a new subscriber, sir - and my life is already the better for having found you.
You always make a lot of sense and the way you put things over it doesn’t sound like a criticism of what we are doing or not doing. You so obviously want to help and give support for which I thank you. What you have been talking about here I shall do my utmost to try. However, my physical health is poor (ME and heart failure) and drains my energy so much that I am not able to function beyond the bare minimum to get through each. There are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days with ME and there is no way to control or predict how much I am going to be able achieve at any given time, either mentally or physically. I know I am depressed and have sought help in the past but no one has been able to understand the nature of ME. There is starting to be a better understanding that someone with this illness simply cannot shrug it off or do things to get better. I would love to be able to take what you say onboard and try to live a more fulfilling life, but how can I do that when I can’t trust my mind/body to play fair? I do, when I can, dabble in art and adult colouring so I have something potentially more useful to do than the mindless things you mentioned. At least I guess it is? I am now virtually housebound due to walking difficulties so I am kind of a prisoner in a golden cage - even if someone managed to unlock the door for me I wouldn’t get very far. I like to listen to you and I have subscribed so that I pick up your new videos. Just listening to a few I have gained a certain understanding about how the mind works. I fear, however, that I’m on a hiding to nothing and being 72 doesn’t help. Except I shouldn’t have too long left before I have another heart attack. It’s sad but that’s the way it is. Especially as I lost my mum nine weeks ago and her re-assuring presence. She was two weeks off her 95th birthday so I have been lucky to have had her for so long but a lifetime is never long enough. I am considering deleting all this. Writing it has been quite cathartic but I’m not sure you really want long, ramblings. OK I’ll be positive and just press the send button and people can make of it what they will. I’ve not read it through so it’s probably full of mistakes.
The cost of actual decent mental health care is maddening. I'm paying hundreds per month for my son. There's none left for me or other kids to get care. Sucks to have to prioritize "who needs it worst"
You make So Much Sense! My calendar read "Another Lost Day". More behind, more overwhelmed, more depressed. Alot is directly related to horrid physical pain. Spend hours chasing the pain, trying to get help unsuccessfully. I do distract myself with some positive - wash clothes, clean - piddle stuff that takes little thought. Don't cook! Love to but very dangerous! All alone.
that's how I learnt to draw. I forced myself because I thought it was my true_goal. And it worked. I learnt to draw, and I usually felt better while doing that. But every morning it starts all over again. No matter how hard I try, my brain finds the angle to depreciate everything.
Exactly! People who make this super technical, jargon-laden content clearly don’t understand depression and anxiety and how they impact brain functioning ❤️
I appreciate the video.. feels like the pep talk I always needed but never got. I will come back to watch when I recognize I’m in a downward spiral. It’s refreshing too after so much advice has fallen flat or was just toxic positivity which just made me feel worse. Since a lot of your videos are longer since you actually explain stuff (which I really like) it might be nice to have text on the screen that says like #1. Point One #2. Point Two as you share them so that it’s easier to stay anchored and follow along.
I experienced a spiral a few years back that resulted in me having to be out of work for a month. Turned out that I needed a med change which takes a while to kick in. Walking (in upstate NY in March ...), cooking, increasing my therapy sessions, and telling my close friends and family what was happening got me through. Love the content Dr. Scott.
one of the problems in depression is the lack of the feeling of urgency. The realization of the total tragedy you're going through (or will eventually if this keeps going). Depression lulls your mind away, and you start getting used to it. I mean yeah, it sucks. But you get to work around it. You can just sit home alone, week in and week out, order food, watch youtube. And maybe it sucks, you it hits you from time to time, but generally u get used to. Only once (if) you realize the horror of your life, can you get a chance to change.
Ive been in a depression spiral for abt 3yrs now. Nthng gets better... nothing gets worse. I have nobody in my life. I'm only living to pay bills and rent. There is no joy or happiness. No excitement for anything bc nthng matters. Just waiting for death as this point
Sending you much love and warm wishes❤You are not alone. I often feel the same way. But we can’t predict the future, and that means that anything is possible. Every new day can be a new beginning. There is always hope, and I hope you will find happiness ❤
Keep chipping away at it and think of it as your current life purpose to defeat it. I have been going through the worst depression of my life and I am so damn proud to say I’m fighting it daily and slowly winning the fight. This is my first time reaching out to anyone and even that’s a small win! Just start with a cold shower, go for a walk, replace your chips or junk food with nuts and berries. Every little thing you do to improve is you fighting depression and that will give you power.
Speaking for myself, I have been in an on again off again spiral.for more than a year since I separated from my wife. It had started to get a bit better and then I lost my job and the spiral came back worse. Then I started doing a commission only job and wasted so much time and burned through my savings and the spiral got worse and worse. I am now at the point that I honestly don't know if I will ever escape this. I can't pay my rent in a couple days. I'm losing everything. I feel like I can't move to help myself. I swear that I was a productive member of society 18 months ago. Now I'll be lucky if I'm not on the streets soon. I don't know how how I ended up like this
I just got to the part in your book (pg 51) about the professional mental health lottery. Yeppers... between 1976 and 2009 I logged over 1500 hours of psych therapy of various kinds... from high-end shrink (dual psychiatry and neurolgy M.D. with a recognizable name) to biofeedback to groups to community clinic therapist to the best-recommended psychologist I could find in my area, during most of it also being subjected to from one to five psych meds. None of those professionals ever mentioned diet, sleep hygiene, or the other things you've mentioned in this video. At best, I was helped to exist in marginal functionality. Back in the day I had super excellent health insurance, with that declining as my ability to advance my career became impaired. These days, relying on Social Security and Medicare Advantage (I couldn't afford to keep a Medigap policy), I can't even afford the copays. Stress and frustration, compounded by overwhelm and moldy substandard housing, brought me to and have kept me in a state of shutdown that I simply must break free from.
Its like Ive had this understanding and realization distantly in my mind but the way he describes the opportunity gains makes it so much easier to understand. Ill have to watch this a few more times to let it sink in.
I have been in a depressive episode for most of my life. I'm 55. I live chronically in depression. I don't know what it's like not to. I'm so exhausted.
Exactly. Finally someone gets it. My depression is usually 24 hours a week(hypomania). I force myself to make a nice dinner. When I do I verbally thank myself for the nice meal. It feels like a hug. Agoraphobia comes with this depression so the best I can do is sit on the porch. If another person tells me to walk it out I may get arrested😂
Thanks so much for all of your truly helpful and practical advice. I am so glad i stumbled across your content a few months ago. I feel i understand what i am going through so much better, which is really half the battle.
Isn't that the truth? If you have an understanding, it's easier to have compassion for the self. Once compassion shows up, beating up on oneself can lessen or stop, so it doesn't add to the pile-on.
Thank you for this. It would be great to figure out how to work through things when there is a huge (and I mean TREMENDOUS) backlog, because the grieving process on all that's gotten away after a long, long time is so difficult and actually can sometimes cause the spiral to keep going.
EVERY. MORNING. But… If I had a good day, I dread going to bed because if I get a normal length sleep this happens every times It’s Groundhog Day again.
You have. A reall gift at explaining and reallt relating with all of us watching an to me that’s gota be the most important thing in healing is relating/knowing what you feel it okay and will be okay. And you have a way also of saying what others say and use it in a tough love manner that makes most us just feel worse.
Please make a follow-up video for strategies to actually do this. Most of us know we should be taking action but we seem to find that first action impossible to take. Im quite aware I should be doing stuff but find I cannot manage to do so. Just getting in the shower can be impossible. I've barely got strength to go to work each day much less make room for activities outside of work. I already know what i should be doing, i lack the how.
I have just lost our home to forcloser due to depression. After my husband passed, I have struggled to keep up on it all, but failed. He had Early On-set Alzhiemers. I was his caregiver. It was very rough, as he was still a physically strong, and healthy guy when he was diagnosed. I turned 70 this year. I am terrified, and wonder why didn't I know what was happening to me?
My opportunity cost is time as well. 7 years ago I tried to branch out career-wise. Didn't ace one test and told myself I wasn't good enough. I want to try again this year. Hopefully I can drown out that voice in my head.
I have felt myself slipping over the weeks . Took kids to butlins an it was very hard to motivate myself just to get out . I pushed myself but would just end up exhausted. Got home had my daughter a 18th birthday party to organise all on my own , this kept me busy but again exhausted me . Roll forward 2 weeks am struggling getting out of me bed , I try push myself go downstairs make a coffee put a wash load on an take meself back to bed . Irl maybe get a wash around 4pm . Am just feeling so flat no self esteem, everyone is annoying me . Not eating properly. I go to bed an think tomorrow will be different irl wake up an get out for a walk . Morning comes an I just can’t get ready an leave the house. Am weepy , am irritated am angry I just feel broken . I’ve been suffering depression on an off for most of my life but got worse as I aged ( menopause). Why can’t I feel normal on highest meds an highest HRT
I was really sorry to read your story. I hear you. I like this video but it sounds good on paper but hard to practice. I'd like to be able to have an "upward spiral" but I'd also like to be able to flutter my arms and fly too. Hope you have some degree of success and peace in your life.
The best helpers of mental issues im starting to really think people who have been down the darkest path a then got up a studied why are the best therapists/counselors.
As soon as I woke up, my ex could tell straight away what the rest of my day was going to be like. I was employed as a sparky and I kept getting called into the office because they thought I was on drug. They said "they wanted to help me" and I kept saying " I'm NOT on drugs." So a few years later, I went to the dr's and was diagnosed with depression and when I told them the looks on their faces was "ow FFS 🤦🏻♂️" and they didn't give a $h!t about trying to help me which they said countless times they would. In the end I got the sack because of my depression and they put me with people which they knew I didn't like. Basically they wanted to get rid of me.
This is so true, especially the part where you say that you can't afford to break even. So what about someone like me who has had many major depressive episodes, and now I've been in a mostly depressed state for the last 20 years. I'm 64 now. I really get a lot out of your videos but lately you seem to be talking less about long term depression and how to turn that around.
I don't know how many self help books people told me to buy and read and I'll feel better so I bought a few books throughout the years and read them but honestly I didn't feel any different and often the writers seem to be gloating a lot of the times? That's just what I experienced anyways. But yeah when I'm in an depressive episode, long walks usually helps pulls me out. This year I have walked a ton and went further and further and found new roads and new areas I never experienced and that was a very positive thing for me. Now that we are heading into winter and Vermont has a very long winter, it sucks I won't be able to go on these walks which has been making me spiral a little but I know I'll feel better if I just go do something instead of sitting here self loathing all day.
That's why *"any progress is progress."* Even if getting a working pen and laying it on my dask is all I got done, the next day I celebrate even that. And that day feels like I could beat the day before.
I had to make progress on Life. Cooking was a luxury for me. It was the pandemic, and my husband left, and our child was struggling in school and needed a diagnosis for learning struggles. I couldn't afford to be depressed. So I had to make progress on Life at any cost. If I didn't, not just my life but my kid's life would fall apart. So sometimes laying a pen beside one bill was all I could get done in one day. Then open the envelope and look the next day. Then pay the bill the next (or decide which bill I could afford.) So not just progress on myself, but I had to make forward progress in Life. Every little win was a step out of the quicksand. I let go of the rest and celebrated that, even as those wins got smaller and smaller.
Just at the beginning. A week of depression makes you lose your place? No, a week is nothing. I had learned to take these dungeon treatments near a half year, every year, for decades. Tried tons of stuff, it just was life, and I coped somehow. This one is a year and a half for the first time. That's when you really lose the walls, the ceiling and the floor, because up until recently, I was so sure I'd just come out of it any time.
I've noticed sometimes I wake up anxious after a really anxious/depressive dream. This has only started the past year or two after suffering for 30 years
Add in chronic pain. 2nd depressive episode from a year ago. I cannot push through anything like I did last time. Previous day ideas- next day cant get out bed. Complicated by pain. Trying to resist meds but desperate
What about dealing with current grief and the loss of a loved one, is it okay? How do you move forward? Can you do a series on Grief and tools to help ? Also when your support system is dying and don’t have many other supportive people anymore due to multiple losses and I’m not old 50!!!
There is a book called "The Upward Spiral" by neuroscientist Dr. Alex Korb, and there's a workbook of the same name that has exercises that follow the chapters in the book. Some may find it helpful. You can also learn some neuroscience, if that interests you. But it's written for the layperson.
When I have an episode and hole up in my apartment, sometimes I stumble upon the things I’ve done around the house, like hanging on the wall. And I _genuinely_ don’t remember myself doing that! Logically I understand it must have been I but it takes some effort to recall. Weird how it works.
You keep blowing my mind how you seem to know my mind exactly yet you don’t know me. Like for example I use to be a very happy life of part social person I play on stages and have been blessed on some opps in music. I use to date girls I had a relationship for 3-4 years on for 7nwhen younger and I haven’t been in one in ssoo long and part of it was intentional to figure my self out but now it’s as you said. It feels like it was real that I use to talk to women to have gf and lived with them all thag. It seems sssoo far fetched now it’s bizarre how the brain can make you feel like it’s not even you
Please help me because I sm unable to do anything I have a mother to take care of. I can't get up. I sm scared I am scared to leave my room and can't eat drink. I don't want this. I feel alone and I am asking you to help me.
Pardon me for saying so, but your advice seems useless if one has reasons to feel depressed... not all depression, even years long depression, is a person's mind playing chemical tricks on them.
CAN YOU MAKE YOUR VIDEOS LESS THAN 25 MINUTES LONG??? those of us with depression, desperate for help, can't tolerate long LONG WINDED VIDEOS!!!!we are struggling just to get out of bed!! YOU of all people should realize this
You have. A reall gift at explaining and reallt relating with all of us watching an to me that’s gota be the most important thing in healing is relating/knowing what you feel it okay and will be okay. And you have a way also of saying what others say and use it in a tough love manner that makes most us just feel worse.
Lack of motivation and trying to push through that, is the hardest step for me. The just doing, seems almost impossible.
Indeed. I'm experiencing this too. I've got the double whammy: depression and anxiety. Ugh. They take away my will power. Everything's a huge effort. I know what he's saying is true.. it takes lots of effort to get out of this.. unless an antidepressant works.. which mine hasn't yet. All the best to you, and me. Cheers
I really get it too. Have the double whammy many days too. I was plucky the first year and a half. I pushed myself to do all the family functions. Accepted more and more invites out. Did housework, forced myself to eat, paid my bills. Looked up lots of strategies. Looked forward to dating again. Got myself to regular dental appointments. Tried an ad. Tried EFT, made it worse. Tried meditation, helped somewhat, I think. Got in touch w/ old friends. Tried to make new connections. Got out a few times a week, started to walk more again. Tried to get counselling. filled out 4 damn depression questionaires (very depressing to remind myself how depressed I am, but this is a new system). Got through 2 months of that waiting list and was offered CBT to do on my own. Too depressed for that at this point.
I feel the same. When I have to go to work I gather all my energy to function (and I'm doing it well, nobody noticed my inner struggles so far and I get compliments because I'm doing a very good job), but in my free time at home or on my days off I sleep almost all day and it takes a LOT to do chores like laundry, making breakfast/dinner, getting ready and presentable and such. It's like all life is sucked out of me and my muscles don't have any strength left to move. 😢
Few ideas:
1. Action itself is not actually solely dependent on motivation. It's also dependent on how difficult it is to do something, and it's dependent on you getting a prompt to do the thing.
2. As such, if you feel yourself entering a depressive spiral, you generally can arrange your environment to make it as easy as possible for you to get the stuff done you need to.
3. This way, even when you're depressed as heck and the motivation is down, the sum total of prompt + motivation + easiness to do the thing will still get you to do it, even if your motivation is in the garbage right now.
I am in the same boat. Half of me says to do the work, the other half tells me not too.
Thanks man, really nice video. Really like that you said that depressive episodes can last for months or years. People usually think that you're supposed to feel better after a month, but no. This particular hell has no bottom end to it. My mind has turned into a mushy sponge through the almost non-stop depression for the past 15 years. It affects being as a whole. Chips away at your social life, physical health, mental health, finances, everything. One of the hardest things is that most people you will ever meet dont understand. You're bombarded by unhelpful or insensitive advice, and at some point you realize that you'll never make friends, or connect with people, cause they just aren't able to comprehend a very significant side of you.
I feel this
@@JuggleBugsI'm wishing you the very best and I pray that everything you're planning comes to fruition, but just a gentle reminder that you can't leave the 'black dog' behind. Moving places doesn't fix everything magically.
This is by no means meant to stop you or demotivate you!! Please don't think I'm trying to be negative, I'm just speaking from experience.
Two months ago I moved to another city too and I had so many hopes and plans! But soon I realized that I still feel as shitty as before, that I'm still the very same person I was before.
Where you go your depression will follow. 😢
I am the same and people are giving on me.
**up on me **
Yeah, it's hard and it's obviously something that will power alone can't manage properly. That's why I think taking pills is a good option. If they work. I can't take any because of stomach issues.
And one of the hardest hitting thing about depression is that how it halts and destroys all the progess you had made at some given thing. I also started enjoying cooking at some point, learning some simple techniques and stuff. But I cooked for 2 weeks, then got depressed, and said goodbye to everything I had learned. Same happens with my actual profession. And basically anything I ever started. At some point I get depressed and my whole progress gets erased. Losing the products of your effort is a maddening thing
It physically hurts to do things when im depressed. And by things, i mean anything more than breathing... and even that feels like a chore.
Also my energy immediately is gone after doing very minimal work
Breathing literally does feel like labor on its own, how horrifying...
I agree. The depression comes out of nowhere. Also, I understand exactly how it feels to forget what it is like to be not-depressed. Once the depression-glasses come on, it is really frightening.
I find it hard to remember that feeling too. I almost came out a few months ago. I could get out the door w/out fighting through the agony of anxiety to push myself out. I was walking and doing errands most days again. I was feeling more confident and knew I was looking better. I was ok w/ being so thin and all the weight I'd lost. I could notice I was turning a few heads, even though I'm 56. My appetite was so much better and I wanted to eat, had finally put on 5 pounds, which I worked so ridiculously hard to do. I could feel peace some days, or half days and doing housework was easier again, and even was catching up on old clutter. Then it went back down. I think I might know why, but not a damn thing I can do about it.
@@saintejeannedarc9460I wish you the best of luck staying out of the pit of despair!
@@saintejeannedarc9460
I'm sorry this happened to you.
I wish it didn't happen to me either.
@@christinemccoy4471 I wish it didn't happen to you and so many others too. I have huge empathy for those going through it. I don't know if we are somehow conditioned to think in more defeatist loops, or if it is a physical thing that some people are prone to. I have to figure something out, because it's getting worse as I get older, not better.
The warming up the car analogy - man, that totally hits home! So grateful for this channel! ❤
Cooking is my favorite hobby. I started as a child and have been making my own food for nearly 50 years. I love it because you take simple raw materials and see a completed dish in only a few hours. Almost nothing else gives you rewards that fast. I often compare it to the crafts I loved as a child. I use cookbooks and cooking videos, and I often listen to music. I have been depressed almost that long my life is a tremendous struggle for many reasons. One is that my father committed suicide, he was bipolar. The other is that my mother left when I was 15, and I was forced to support myself ever since. As I approach 60 she lives in the next county like I don’t exist. I’m convinced almost no one could survive my life. I also lost my beloved sister when we were teens. Now it’s been just me alone in the world since I was 19.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard people talk about recurring depressive episodes this accurately before, I appreciate that so much
This is my first time at this channel and I got more out of these 23+ minutes than I have from anyone else. Firstly kudos to Dr Scott for admitting to having suffered depressive episodes himself - thus his advice makes SO much sense ie quit relying on social media to fill a void (or in my case, to pass a few empty hours); nurture yourself (rather than everyone around you); find something practical in which to 'invest' your time that you'll become absorbed in. You have a new subscriber, sir - and my life is already the better for having found you.
Thank you so much!
You saved my day! In the middle of a sprial..this is a ray of sunshine that I will survive this one.
Accept that your depression is a part of you. Don't ignore it, don't magnify it, don't demonise it, just accept it and offer yourself some kindness.
I believe that is the best way to look at chronic pain also
Thank you for your genuine approach to this issue, I can tell you really understand and care😢
You always make a lot of sense and the way you put things over it doesn’t sound like a criticism of what we are doing or not doing. You so obviously want to help and give support for which I thank you. What you have been talking about here I shall do my utmost to try. However, my physical health is poor (ME and heart failure) and drains my energy so much that I am not able to function beyond the bare minimum to get through each. There are ‘good’ and ‘bad’ days with ME and there is no way to control or predict how much I am going to be able achieve at any given time, either mentally or physically. I know I am depressed and have sought help in the past but no one has been able to understand the nature of ME. There is starting to be a better understanding that someone with this illness simply cannot shrug it off or do things to get better.
I would love to be able to take what you say onboard and try to live a more fulfilling life, but how can I do that when I can’t trust my mind/body to play fair? I do, when I can, dabble in art and adult colouring so I have something potentially more useful to do than the mindless things you mentioned. At least I guess it is? I am now virtually housebound due to walking difficulties so I am kind of a prisoner in a golden cage - even if someone managed to unlock the door for me I wouldn’t get very far.
I like to listen to you and I have subscribed so that I pick up your new videos. Just listening to a few I have gained a certain understanding about how the mind works. I fear, however, that I’m on a hiding to nothing and being 72 doesn’t help. Except I shouldn’t have too long left before I have another heart attack. It’s sad but that’s the way it is. Especially as I lost my mum nine weeks ago and her re-assuring presence. She was two weeks off her 95th birthday so I have been lucky to have had her for so long but a lifetime is never long enough. I am considering deleting all this. Writing it has been quite cathartic but I’m not sure you really want long, ramblings. OK I’ll be positive and just press the send button and people can make of it what they will. I’ve not read it through so it’s probably full of mistakes.
Sending you much love and warm wishes❤
Thank you for your channel! I learned so much from you and it gives me hope in darkest times! I really appreciate it!
I'm so glad!
Great video, I wish I had the time or money to see someone. Life is a little disappointing. But half of life is just showing up.
The cost of actual decent mental health care is maddening. I'm paying hundreds per month for my son. There's none left for me or other kids to get care. Sucks to have to prioritize "who needs it worst"
You make So Much Sense! My calendar read "Another Lost Day". More behind, more overwhelmed, more depressed. Alot is directly related to horrid physical pain. Spend hours chasing the pain, trying to get help unsuccessfully. I do distract myself with some positive - wash clothes, clean - piddle stuff that takes little thought. Don't cook! Love to but very dangerous! All alone.
Keep it up~🎉
that's how I learnt to draw. I forced myself because I thought it was my true_goal. And it worked. I learnt to draw, and I usually felt better while doing that. But every morning it starts all over again. No matter how hard I try, my brain finds the angle to depreciate everything.
Thank you for your time with this video, keeping things simple and easy to understand is best for me, especially when feeling low.
Exactly! People who make this super technical, jargon-laden content clearly don’t understand depression and anxiety and how they impact brain functioning ❤️
Only a person that went through this can speak that way. Thank you so much !
I appreciate the video.. feels like the pep talk I always needed but never got. I will come back to watch when I recognize I’m in a downward spiral. It’s refreshing too after so much advice has fallen flat or was just toxic positivity which just made me feel worse.
Since a lot of your videos are longer since you actually explain stuff (which I really like) it might be nice to have text on the screen that says like #1. Point One #2. Point Two as you share them so that it’s easier to stay anchored and follow along.
I experienced a spiral a few years back that resulted in me having to be out of work for a month. Turned out that I needed a med change which takes a while to kick in. Walking (in upstate NY in March ...), cooking, increasing my therapy sessions, and telling my close friends and family what was happening got me through. Love the content Dr. Scott.
one of the problems in depression is the lack of the feeling of urgency. The realization of the total tragedy you're going through (or will eventually if this keeps going). Depression lulls your mind away, and you start getting used to it. I mean yeah, it sucks. But you get to work around it. You can just sit home alone, week in and week out, order food, watch youtube. And maybe it sucks, you it hits you from time to time, but generally u get used to. Only once (if) you realize the horror of your life, can you get a chance to change.
Ive been in a depression spiral for abt 3yrs now. Nthng gets better... nothing gets worse. I have nobody in my life. I'm only living to pay bills and rent. There is no joy or happiness. No excitement for anything bc nthng matters. Just waiting for death as this point
Wow this is my life too. Groundhog Day
Wish I could do something for you but I can’t even help myself. Hope you find a way out of this. God bless if he’s out there somewhere
Sending you much love and warm wishes❤You are not alone. I often feel the same way. But we can’t predict the future, and that means that anything is possible. Every new day can be a new beginning. There is always hope, and I hope you will find happiness ❤
Keep chipping away at it and think of it as your current life purpose to defeat it. I have been going through the worst depression of my life and I am so damn proud to say I’m fighting it daily and slowly winning the fight. This is my first time reaching out to anyone and even that’s a small win! Just start with a cold shower, go for a walk, replace your chips or junk food with nuts and berries. Every little thing you do to improve is you fighting depression and that will give you power.
Speaking for myself, I have been in an on again off again spiral.for more than a year since I separated from my wife. It had started to get a bit better and then I lost my job and the spiral came back worse. Then I started doing a commission only job and wasted so much time and burned through my savings and the spiral got worse and worse. I am now at the point that I honestly don't know if I will ever escape this. I can't pay my rent in a couple days. I'm losing everything. I feel like I can't move to help myself. I swear that I was a productive member of society 18 months ago. Now I'll be lucky if I'm not on the streets soon. I don't know how how I ended up like this
I sincerely hope for you that you catch a break soon from someplace, someone!🙏
@@helenaquin1797 I did, thank God. Thank you.
I just got to the part in your book (pg 51) about the professional mental health lottery. Yeppers... between 1976 and 2009 I logged over 1500 hours of psych therapy of various kinds... from high-end shrink (dual psychiatry and neurolgy M.D. with a recognizable name) to biofeedback to groups to community clinic therapist to the best-recommended psychologist I could find in my area, during most of it also being subjected to from one to five psych meds. None of those professionals ever mentioned diet, sleep hygiene, or the other things you've mentioned in this video. At best, I was helped to exist in marginal functionality. Back in the day I had super excellent health insurance, with that declining as my ability to advance my career became impaired. These days, relying on Social Security and Medicare Advantage (I couldn't afford to keep a Medigap policy), I can't even afford the copays. Stress and frustration, compounded by overwhelm and moldy substandard housing, brought me to and have kept me in a state of shutdown that I simply must break free from.
"Depression is so time consuming". So true. Thanks.
You nail it every damn time, Scott! Thank you
I hate being awake
Thank you for your channel. Please keep making videos. We need them.
Its like Ive had this understanding and realization distantly in my mind but the way he describes the opportunity gains makes it so much easier to understand. Ill have to watch this a few more times to let it sink in.
Thank you Dr Scott you nailed it 💯
Man you nailed this one! Thank you🙏🙏
I have been in a depressive episode for most of my life. I'm 55. I live chronically in depression. I don't know what it's like not to. I'm so exhausted.
Exactly. Finally someone gets it. My depression is usually 24 hours a week(hypomania). I force myself to make a nice dinner. When I do I verbally thank myself for the nice meal. It feels like a hug. Agoraphobia comes with this depression so the best I can do is sit on the porch. If another person tells me to walk it out I may get arrested😂
Thanks so much for all of your truly helpful and practical advice. I am so glad i stumbled across your content a few months ago. I feel i understand what i am going through so much better, which is really half the battle.
Isn't that the truth? If you have an understanding, it's easier to have compassion for the self. Once compassion shows up, beating up on oneself can lessen or stop, so it doesn't add to the pile-on.
Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!
When it is nothing it could be an emotional flashback.
Thank you for this. It would be great to figure out how to work through things when there is a huge (and I mean TREMENDOUS) backlog, because the grieving process on all that's gotten away after a long, long time is so difficult and actually can sometimes cause the spiral to keep going.
Wonderful Video and I love the metaphors you used to describe how to navigate through a depressive episode!
Your videos are helping me and I am very grateful.
EVERY. MORNING. But…
If I had a good day, I dread going to bed because if I get a normal length sleep this happens every times
It’s Groundhog Day again.
Me
You have. A reall gift at explaining and reallt relating with all of us watching an to me that’s gota be the most important thing in healing is relating/knowing what you feel it okay and will be okay. And you have a way also of saying what others say and use it in a tough love manner that makes most us just feel worse.
21:44 I call it clawing my way out of the pit of despair.
Please make a follow-up video for strategies to actually do this. Most of us know we should be taking action but we seem to find that first action impossible to take. Im quite aware I should be doing stuff but find I cannot manage to do so. Just getting in the shower can be impossible. I've barely got strength to go to work each day much less make room for activities outside of work. I already know what i should be doing, i lack the how.
I have just lost our home to forcloser due to depression. After my husband passed, I have struggled to keep up on it all, but failed. He had Early On-set Alzhiemers. I was his caregiver. It was very rough, as he was still a physically strong, and healthy guy when he was diagnosed. I turned 70 this year. I am terrified, and wonder why didn't I know what was happening to me?
Families must look after their elders
@@aar0n709 but not everyone has family or their family doesn’t care.
Thanks for this, man. Needed it today.
I grew up in Chicago - the negative double-digit windchills in the upper mid-west are real!
My opportunity cost is time as well. 7 years ago I tried to branch out career-wise. Didn't ace one test and told myself I wasn't good enough. I want to try again this year. Hopefully I can drown out that voice in my head.
I have felt myself slipping over the weeks . Took kids to butlins an it was very hard to motivate myself just to get out . I pushed myself but would just end up exhausted. Got home had my daughter a 18th birthday party to organise all on my own , this kept me busy but again exhausted me . Roll forward 2 weeks am struggling getting out of me bed , I try push myself go downstairs make a coffee put a wash load on an take meself back to bed . Irl maybe get a wash around 4pm . Am just feeling so flat no self esteem, everyone is annoying me . Not eating properly. I go to bed an think tomorrow will be different irl wake up an get out for a walk . Morning comes an I just can’t get ready an leave the house. Am weepy , am irritated am angry I just feel broken . I’ve been suffering depression on an off for most of my life but got worse as I aged ( menopause). Why can’t I feel normal on highest meds an highest HRT
I was really sorry to read your story. I hear you. I like this video but it sounds good on paper but hard to practice. I'd like to be able to have an "upward spiral" but I'd also like to be able to flutter my arms and fly too. Hope you have some degree of success and peace in your life.
The best helpers of mental issues im starting to really think people who have been down the darkest path a then got up a studied why are the best therapists/counselors.
As soon as I woke up, my ex could tell straight away what the rest of my day was going to be like.
I was employed as a sparky and I kept getting called into the office because they thought I was on drug. They said "they wanted to help me" and I kept saying " I'm NOT on drugs." So a few years later, I went to the dr's and was diagnosed with depression and when I told them the looks on their faces was "ow FFS 🤦🏻♂️" and they didn't give a $h!t about trying to help me which they said countless times they would. In the end I got the sack because of my depression and they put me with people which they knew I didn't like. Basically they wanted to get rid of me.
Thank you.
"the hardest part of the spiral is that you wake up the next day". Yes. End of sentence.
Thank you so much 🌻
Thank you. Very helpful
This is so true, especially the part where you say that you can't afford to break even. So what about someone like me who has had many major depressive episodes, and now I've been in a mostly depressed state for the last 20 years. I'm 64 now. I really get a lot out of your videos but lately you seem to be talking less about long term depression and how to turn that around.
Oh my god, If I had you as my therapist my life would have turned out different.
I don't know how many self help books people told me to buy and read and I'll feel better so I bought a few books throughout the years and read them but honestly I didn't feel any different and often the writers seem to be gloating a lot of the times? That's just what I experienced anyways. But yeah when I'm in an depressive episode, long walks usually helps pulls me out. This year I have walked a ton and went further and further and found new roads and new areas I never experienced and that was a very positive thing for me. Now that we are heading into winter and Vermont has a very long winter, it sucks I won't be able to go on these walks which has been making me spiral a little but I know I'll feel better if I just go do something instead of sitting here self loathing all day.
Superb!🙏
That's why *"any progress is progress."* Even if getting a working pen and laying it on my dask is all I got done, the next day I celebrate even that. And that day feels like I could beat the day before.
I had to make progress on Life. Cooking was a luxury for me. It was the pandemic, and my husband left, and our child was struggling in school and needed a diagnosis for learning struggles.
I couldn't afford to be depressed.
So I had to make progress on Life at any cost. If I didn't, not just my life but my kid's life would fall apart.
So sometimes laying a pen beside one bill was all I could get done in one day. Then open the envelope and look the next day. Then pay the bill the next (or decide which bill I could afford.)
So not just progress on myself, but I had to make forward progress in Life.
Every little win was a step out of the quicksand. I let go of the rest and celebrated that, even as those wins got smaller and smaller.
Just at the beginning. A week of depression makes you lose your place? No, a week is nothing. I had learned to take these dungeon treatments near a half year, every year, for decades. Tried tons of stuff, it just was life, and I coped somehow. This one is a year and a half for the first time. That's when you really lose the walls, the ceiling and the floor, because up until recently, I was so sure I'd just come out of it any time.
Lot of value.
Now take these feelings and have them for four years non-stop.
Or longer!
I've noticed sometimes I wake up anxious after a really anxious/depressive dream. This has only started the past year or two after suffering for 30 years
Explains why I would always feel better after going to the gym on my off days.
One of the best thing to break the spiral….
Add in chronic pain. 2nd depressive episode from a year ago. I cannot push through anything like I did last time. Previous day ideas- next day cant get out bed. Complicated by pain. Trying to resist meds but desperate
Good video.
It is a tun of work and for me that helps most times. 😊
My down mood time is now reduced to 1-2 days; usually Sunday. I can’t figure out why.
What about dealing with current grief and the loss of a loved one, is it okay? How do you move forward?
Can you do a series on Grief and tools to help ? Also when your support system is dying and don’t have many other supportive people anymore due to multiple losses and I’m not old 50!!!
Its like I can exercise, take medication, stay active and do the things that i enjoy. Still depressed for 3 months now! its so exhausting😅
There's actually a very good book on the neuroscience behind this called 'The Upward Spiral' - would recommend
There is a book called "The Upward Spiral" by neuroscientist Dr. Alex Korb, and there's a workbook of the same name that has exercises that follow the chapters in the book. Some may find it helpful. You can also learn some neuroscience, if that interests you. But it's written for the layperson.
When I have an episode and hole up in my apartment, sometimes I stumble upon the things I’ve done around the house, like hanging on the wall. And I _genuinely_ don’t remember myself doing that! Logically I understand it must have been I but it takes some effort to recall. Weird how it works.
thanks
ALSO LIMITED FINANCIAL RESOURCES ,MONEY, LIVE IN RURAL AREA, NO FRIENDS AND VERY DIFFICULT TO MEET, NO FAMILY, CPTSD????
You have never suffered as much as you say.
This happens every October through March. Lasts a season and it is awful.
Waking up and a switch has flipped and all is gray. Very familiar.
I have been spiraling for the last 5 months.
It totally makes sense intellectually. When I heard you speak about "freezing emotionally" It helped me today to DO SOMETHING!
You keep blowing my mind how you seem to know my mind exactly yet you don’t know me. Like for example I use to be a very happy life of part social person I play on stages and have been blessed on some opps in music. I use to date girls I had a relationship for 3-4 years on for 7nwhen younger and I haven’t been in one in ssoo long and part of it was intentional to figure my self out but now it’s as you said. It feels like it was real that I use to talk to women to have gf and lived with them all thag. It seems sssoo far fetched now it’s bizarre how the brain can make you feel like it’s not even you
❤️
Been in a depression spiral - Covid caused it, I think. Thank you, now I know how to think of it. :)
nothing is enjoyable for mea
Please help me because I sm unable to do anything I have a mother to take care of. I can't get up. I sm scared I am scared to leave my room and can't eat drink. I don't want this. I feel alone and I am asking you to help me.
Pardon me for saying so, but your advice seems useless if one has reasons to feel depressed... not all depression, even years long depression, is a person's mind playing chemical tricks on them.
Please i am reaching out to you
i dont even think i'm human,,,,,,,,no enituibs ir hit
CAN YOU MAKE YOUR VIDEOS LESS THAN 25 MINUTES LONG??? those of us with depression, desperate for help, can't tolerate long LONG WINDED VIDEOS!!!!we are struggling just to get out of bed!! YOU of all people should realize this
You can increase the speed of playback of TH-cam videos with the settings icon. I often watch long videos at 1.25x or 1.5x.
You have. A reall gift at explaining and reallt relating with all of us watching an to me that’s gota be the most important thing in healing is relating/knowing what you feel it okay and will be okay. And you have a way also of saying what others say and use it in a tough love manner that makes most us just feel worse.
Thank you.