My boyfriend has severe ADHD and anxiety. I struggle to find ways to help him when he’s going through a sensory overload / anxiety attack. What I’m trying to work through is making him feel comfortable to tell me how he’s really feeling. He often just tells me he’s okay, or that he’ll manage and he’ll be okay, even though I can tell he’s not and the anxiety attack is still happening. He worries about telling me because he doesn’t want me to worry about him, and doesn’t want to stress me out. I want to be there for him. And I tell him all the time that I am here for him, that I will listen and be his support whenever he needs. I think he’s starting to get a little more comfortable telling me. But it’s still a process I’m trying to understand more. He doesn’t necessarily like to be touched / hugged during these attacks. Which is difficult for me to understand because when I go through panic attacks that’s what helps me the most. When he’s going through them he will rapidly move his hands and sometimes repeatedly hit/tap a surface like a desk or a wall or his hands together, paired with bobbing his head back and forth. This is the first sign I can tell he has an anxiety attacking coming on. Loud noises like a blender or airplanes also sometimes endure his attacks. I try to get him to talk to me about random things like how his day has been, and describe to me some of his favorite activities or hobbies. Like snorkeling, I’ll ask him what kind of different fish he’s seen while he was out there. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like anything I say helps him though and I sometimes feel like I could be a reason he’s going through an attack. It’s hard to ask him what he needs because he doesn’t know what he needs. He used to be on medications as a teenager, his parents had him on way to high of a dosage and this has scared him away from ever using medications again because it made him feel like a robot, didn’t have any emotions, is what he tells me. He wasn’t able to sleep while on them, and he lost a lot of weight. I don’t blame him for not wanting to use medications again, but he’s beginning to feel like the attacks are coming on more frequently and getting worse. He’s scared one day they’ll be too much for me to handle and I won’t want to be with him. I try to reassure him that I’ll always be there for him no matter what, but i think he has a hard time trusting that response. I want to try the 5-4-3-2-1 method you mentioned in this video next time it happens and see if it helps at all, I feel like it could be really beneficial. I also ordered some fidget toys for him to try to use instead of hitting objects or his hands together. I think that might help. As someone who just wants to help, feeling like I’m unable to help him makes me feel useless and uncaring. It’s so hard to be okay with knowing that doing nothing or saying nothing sometimes is actually more helpful than saying or doing something. This is a new experience / journey for me. And I want to try to learn as much about his conditions as possible so I can be a better support system for him when he needs it. I appreciate your video!
Hey Allan, thank you for your message. I feel moved while reading it as I can only imagine how much of a struggle this must be for the both of you to go through. Anxiety attacks are such a confusing experience, particularly when there isn't a clear answer of how to support! More than anything though through this message I can hear your deep desire to support him and that is going to do a lot in itself! Yeah that is a real challenge when they don't want to engage and all you want to do is hold and reassure them. Often sitting and discussing when you're both in a good place, what to do when an attack comes on can be helpful. It's just really important to try and not get angry if they're not ready to take on the help yet, as we may ending falling into playing the game 'I'm only trying to help you'. One I have fallen into many a time! Alternatively, a friend of mine has done one of these retreats for his extreme anxiety panic attacks and said it was highly effective! www.thelindenmethod.direct/ I would say that it would be worth checking out for him. They also do an online programme. I'd contact them to just ask some questions. They may even be able to point you in a good direction if you don't go with them. Also it should be added that seeing a therapist or psychologist is really important as well if not going on the retreat. I'm glad you enjoyed the video and that you got something from it. I also have another video on anxiety itself on my channel: th-cam.com/video/j25dBJHuvJc/w-d-xo.html and I'd recommend meditation as well, which I also have an introduction video here: th-cam.com/video/iVrdXb2ryAU/w-d-xo.html Lastly, I have a podcast where I talk about Internal Family Systems, and this could be some good education for yourself to understand what may be going on: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972?i=1000515351900 I hope some of this helps and I wish you luck Xx
Hey thank you so much for watching! I'm really glad you found it useful! That's really tough, it can be especially hard when it's a family member but thats amazing that you're looking out for her! X P.s. congrats on hitting 10k subs! That is massive!
Hey Camber just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
One interesting counter-note: when my wife feels overwhelmed by anxiety, she actually *hates* being asked "What do you need?" Instead, she just wants to be held and told, "I'm here with you." I suspect there's a clear reason for this: in general in life, she's already keenly aware of what she needs in every situation, and trusts herself to articulate it. In moments of anxiety, she just wants to feel like she doesn't have to think or articulate anything, but rather just wants to be 100% taken care of. She will articulate if she needs something different. In a way though, this is also a form of answering the question, "What do they need?" but just by knowing the person ahead of time :)
I know I need reassurance. I need to know its going to be okay and that this (feeling, moment, situation) will pass. To also hear someone say 'It must be terrible to go through this' really does help. It makes me feel heard and understood. It doesnt solve issues but it builds a connection between the anxious person and the supporter. I dont feel as alone. Its daunting to be in my own mind right now, and when I get stressed or frantic its sooo good to feel understood, beacuse often I don't feel like myself and that aids to the spiralling. Be a rock for your loved one. Let them anchor onto you for this bit of time until the panic or anxious feelings pass xxxx
Wow what a lovely and caring message! Thank you so much for these words. It really does make the world of difference doesn't it! Thanks for sharing your experience and for the words for everyone to read. I hope you're doing well x
My friend had a panic attack or anxiety attack today at school and I didn't know what to do and just tried to ask what was wrong and listen to what they were saying. So I wanted to learn what I should do when that happens and this helped a lot thank you:)
Sounds like you were really there for your friend and I'm sure that meant a lot. Nice one for looking into it and all the best with supporting them. My pleasure
This is such a helpful video when trying to help someone with depression or anxiety.Asking them what happened is a brilliant question because of course for every effect there is a cause. So in a lot of cases it will get to the root of the problem I would think .Well done
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out. I hope your channel is going well: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
This is such an incredible video, I am shocked it doesn't have more views. Showing this to my partner tonight! It's so hard to explain what to do & what not to do when you're in the middle of an anxiety spiral or panic attack. Thank you so much!
Hey Tara, Thank you so much for your lovely comment! That's really made my day! Yeah it really can be difficult and I'm glad it's given you something you can pass over to help with that conversation. I'm not making content on a podcast called Reuben Recommends which you can find on Spotify and Apple Podcasts if you wanted to check it out. Wishing you all the best, Reuben
Thank you for this. What you do is very important. I have a new friend who struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, and I want to be able to help them as much as I can because I’ve never done this before. This helped a lot!
Hey, thanks so much for your lovely comment. I think it's really wonderful that you want to be there for your friend like that and I'm really pleased that the video was a good resource for you. I'm not putting out videos on youtube anymore, but I'm now doing podcasts called Reuben Recommends if you fancied checking them out podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972 Good luck with everything!
Excellent video. So many practical good tips and advice. Sometimes one simply doesn't know how to help those they care about who are experiencing acute challenging symptoms. Well done!
My sister’s anxiety has been really acting up lately. Sometimes She won’t talk to people, hug people or try to express it with anyone. I don’t know what has been going on with her, but I know she’s not ok. this video was very helpful though!!
Over the past week I've had three panic attacks and I'm trying to get information so that if I have one at school and can get ahold of one of my friends they can come help me. All of mine this week have been mostly at home, but they start with this feeling of something bad and next thing I know I'm crying and trying to work through it
My partner suffers with severe anxiety and panic attacks and it gets to the point she needs to be hospitalised and I try to comfort and be there for her as best I can but most of the time I don't even know what to do, I always seem to say or do the wrong things to help her through it and it sets her off off worse sometimes when all I want to do is be there for her so I appreciate this information and I will try and apply these techniques next time it happens thank you!!!
Big ups to you too Reuben!! What a great video - I had a friend have a panic attack after telling me something important and life changing in their life around Christmas time and I felt so lost as I didn't really know what to do other than to try and comfort them and distract them from the attack. I think the 5-4-3-2-1 tactic will really help if I end up in a similar situation again! Thank you!
Hey Marieke! Haha thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the video and got so much from it. Yeah that sounds like a really challenging situation! Knowing you, I'm sure you were great comfort being there. Yeah the mindfulness tactic is a really good one. It can really settle the person supporting them as well which can be really helpful. So much of giving the right support is in us feeling more and more comfortable in those situations, and having little tactics ready to go can really help. Thanks for watching and being such a legend! Hope you're doing good! X
Hey Marieke just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out. I hope you're doing really well!! Xx podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
This is going to be so helpful! I struggle to find the right ways to support people when they’re struggling with anxiety. Awesome video Reuben! I subscribed and am excited to support you as a fellow small TH-camr!
Hey Demetri just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
My favorite sister was trying to help me bringing all sorts of reasons why I had anxiety, instead of helping me, she became one of my problem. She kept calling me once I told her I feel fine and enjoying my time vacationing with my husband and kids. She kept calling me, and I told her off not to ever mention anxiety and even not to send me videos. She took it hard and send me not nice note, and w don’t talk ever since. I don’t care!
This is an incredibly helpful video anxiety is such a widespread issue affecting all ages and having tools to navigate it and help others too by being open and sharing all your great ideas will surely help a lot of people who are struggling out there .. thanks for this
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
I have a little bit of anxiety myself at a work setting. I think caffine has something to do with it. Thanks for the upload man and good luck to you and your channel!
Hey yeah our work environment can often really trigger anxiety in us. I remember working a telesales job for a year and I had so much anxiety whenever I had to cold call a business, which was around 60 times a day haha. Caffeine can have a big influence as well yeah. Shocking to learn how much it stays in our system and disrupts our sleep. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! You too!
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
What's happening to you? vs. What's wrong with you? That differentiation alone was an eye-opener. Thanks for sharing. This is a very informative video.
Ah yeah that is such a good one! The smallest changes in how we say things can make the biggest difference for people. My pleasure, thank you for watching x
@@TheOmega3Zone Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Hey Alaska just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
This super helpful! Really liked the bit about asking what has happened as opposed to what is wrong with you. I have personally felt like my anxiety is invalid in the past which has made it worse so this is a great way to acknowledge that our anxiety is an accurate response. Very validating!!! Thank you!
Hey Izzy! Yeah that bit really resonated with me as well! Just the smallest changes in how we speak. How often do we hear, 'what's wrong?' It's so common but makes for a challenge each time. Instead asking what's going on, what's happened, what's causing you to feel this way. They all give the person the space to think of a real reason for the pain. Instead of them just answering something like, 'ah i'm just feeling down.' Glad to hear that it helped :D X
Hey Izzy! Yeah that bit really resonated with me as well! Just the smallest changes in how we speak. How often do we hear, 'what's wrong?' It's so common but makes for a challenge each time. Instead asking what's going on, what's happened, what's causing you to feel this way. They all give the person the space to think of a real reason for the pain. Instead of them just answering something like, 'ah i'm just feeling down.' Glad to hear that it helped :D X
I care for somebody a lot but they’re panic attacks freak me out a lot and I feel so panicked myself even tho they say that me being there helps them. And now all my other friends are telling me to back off such a stressful place to be in
Glad to hear! I'm now on podcasts instead if you ever wanted to check that out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts under Reuben Recommends. All the best, Reuben
That's my pleasure! Thanks for watching! If you fancy, I've moved from TH-cam to podcasts and you can find me on Apple or Spotify podcasts as Reuben Recommends
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
My grandfather had copd and enpazema. He is close to the end of this life and he is scared. This causes major anxiety and panic attacks. I'm looking for a good way to help and care for him.
Sorry for being awkward but you are a very kissable person 🙃 I mean you are hot.... but its the warmth and kindness that compels to just kiss you out of love .... Keep doing what you do brother ❤
haha that's such an incredibly lovely message to receive! Definitely not used to that kind of comment so you've definitely made my day right there! 😊😇 Sending big love back to you!
Thank you so much Eniola! I'm so glad you enjoyed the video so much! I've stopped making youtube videos but you can now find me on my podcast Reuben Recommends: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972 You can also find the podcast on Spotify as well. I hope you enjoy!
Hey Rachel just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
4 ปีที่แล้ว +1
Such awesome advice on how to help others. Love your videos!
Hey Zoe just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
*Watches to support wife* “Hey not bad, this is very insightful! Maybe this’ll give my oblivious mind an edge in not being useless to my partner during the next attack 👍” *I want to take a moment to acknowledge you* 10:05 “Aye man *wipes tear back* you don’t have to do me like that let’s focus up here...” 😂
Hey thanks for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that you've been experiencing a lot of anxiety. Getting bullied at school is a harrowing experience and I'm not surprised that your body is in fight or flight a lot of the top. I have a few suggestions yeah. I have a video on my channel about anxiety which you can watch here as a starting point: th-cam.com/video/j25dBJHuvJc/w-d-xo.html The next thing is I would definitely speak to a therapist. This is what they are trained to help with. If you are in England you can find counsellors on www.counselling-directory.org.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwktKFBhCkARIsAJeDT0inOmiIiQkD8vvTJp8EnTvUfIYckCVdZJijsE5eNrheUVgPg4bznksaAlg5EALw_wcB I'd also check out The Stress Solution book by Rangan Chatterjee Good luck
My uncle had a panic attack today and its happend before but when it happened before it was when we were at home and we were driving home today when he called us having a panic attack
Hey Saffron, sorry to hear this. It's definitely scary when that happens. Nice one for looking up how to help someone. My go to is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. It's really good for those situations. Hope that your uncle can see someone that can help, therapy is fantastic for unrooting the underlying cause of the panic attacks. All the best
Hey Kelsy, thank you for the question. That can often be a challenging one. Firstly, you can actually just say to them 'I'm not really sure what to say, but I want you to know that I'm here for you.' Just by listening actively you are already helping them. Then the other thing is to reflect back the feeling of what they've just said. If they say, 'every time my boyfriend comes home I have to hide.' you can say 'it sounds like you're scared of him.' I'd really recommend having a watch of the video I did on listening effectively and empathically. th-cam.com/video/maQNda4zwck/w-d-xo.html&lc=Ugy32Pk0JU5IXud0YId4AaABAg Hope that helps. By the way I've swapped to podcasts now if you fancy checking them out at all. General Apple link podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972 Spotify link open.spotify.com/show/7LkbnpHEotYa2JW71A8ueH?si=bdiosS8_T_OpR9HIbyOErw
That must be awful! Are you speaking to a medical professional or therapist? Also, I’ve got a video on overcoming anxiety which could be useful to watch. Hope it helps
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 not really i meditate but when i get stressed or anxious i get panick attacks all of a sudden and they're harsh because i feel like i can't breathe and it makes me even more anxious
My daughter has anxiety attack when I want to manke her understand that ur first priority to focus on ur studies and career and limit socialising with friends in this pandemic and she don't want to inform me in advance or take my permission and suddenly did thinks & plan with informing me when I tell her why u did this she is reacting that I m restricting her
I’m sorry, I don’t think by labeling problems is a good idea at all. The person who is trying to help a person with anxiety should just listen. Labeling makes it worse. My sister labeled one thing that I love to do, might be the cause for my anxiety, and that made me even more upset.
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My boyfriend has severe ADHD and anxiety. I struggle to find ways to help him when he’s going through a sensory overload / anxiety attack. What I’m trying to work through is making him feel comfortable to tell me how he’s really feeling. He often just tells me he’s okay, or that he’ll manage and he’ll be okay, even though I can tell he’s not and the anxiety attack is still happening. He worries about telling me because he doesn’t want me to worry about him, and doesn’t want to stress me out. I want to be there for him. And I tell him all the time that I am here for him, that I will listen and be his support whenever he needs. I think he’s starting to get a little more comfortable telling me. But it’s still a process I’m trying to understand more. He doesn’t necessarily like to be touched / hugged during these attacks. Which is difficult for me to understand because when I go through panic attacks that’s what helps me the most. When he’s going through them he will rapidly move his hands and sometimes repeatedly hit/tap a surface like a desk or a wall or his hands together, paired with bobbing his head back and forth. This is the first sign I can tell he has an anxiety attacking coming on. Loud noises like a blender or airplanes also sometimes endure his attacks. I try to get him to talk to me about random things like how his day has been, and describe to me some of his favorite activities or hobbies. Like snorkeling, I’ll ask him what kind of different fish he’s seen while he was out there. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like anything I say helps him though and I sometimes feel like I could be a reason he’s going through an attack. It’s hard to ask him what he needs because he doesn’t know what he needs. He used to be on medications as a teenager, his parents had him on way to high of a dosage and this has scared him away from ever using medications again because it made him feel like a robot, didn’t have any emotions, is what he tells me. He wasn’t able to sleep while on them, and he lost a lot of weight. I don’t blame him for not wanting to use medications again, but he’s beginning to feel like the attacks are coming on more frequently and getting worse. He’s scared one day they’ll be too much for me to handle and I won’t want to be with him. I try to reassure him that I’ll always be there for him no matter what, but i think he has a hard time trusting that response. I want to try the 5-4-3-2-1 method you mentioned in this video next time it happens and see if it helps at all, I feel like it could be really beneficial. I also ordered some fidget toys for him to try to use instead of hitting objects or his hands together. I think that might help.
As someone who just wants to help, feeling like I’m unable to help him makes me feel useless and uncaring. It’s so hard to be okay with knowing that doing nothing or saying nothing sometimes is actually more helpful than saying or doing something. This is a new experience / journey for me. And I want to try to learn as much about his conditions as possible so I can be a better support system for him when he needs it. I appreciate your video!
Hey Allan, thank you for your message. I feel moved while reading it as I can only imagine how much of a struggle this must be for the both of you to go through. Anxiety attacks are such a confusing experience, particularly when there isn't a clear answer of how to support! More than anything though through this message I can hear your deep desire to support him and that is going to do a lot in itself!
Yeah that is a real challenge when they don't want to engage and all you want to do is hold and reassure them. Often sitting and discussing when you're both in a good place, what to do when an attack comes on can be helpful. It's just really important to try and not get angry if they're not ready to take on the help yet, as we may ending falling into playing the game 'I'm only trying to help you'. One I have fallen into many a time!
Alternatively, a friend of mine has done one of these retreats for his extreme anxiety panic attacks and said it was highly effective! www.thelindenmethod.direct/
I would say that it would be worth checking out for him.
They also do an online programme. I'd contact them to just ask some questions. They may even be able to point you in a good direction if you don't go with them.
Also it should be added that seeing a therapist or psychologist is really important as well if not going on the retreat.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video and that you got something from it. I also have another video on anxiety itself on my channel:
th-cam.com/video/j25dBJHuvJc/w-d-xo.html
and I'd recommend meditation as well, which I also have an introduction video here:
th-cam.com/video/iVrdXb2ryAU/w-d-xo.html
Lastly, I have a podcast where I talk about Internal Family Systems, and this could be some good education for yourself to understand what may be going on:
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972?i=1000515351900
I hope some of this helps and I wish you luck Xx
This warms my heart my sister also has anxiety attacks I struggle to help her because I am a little 7 year old but I try to help her
My mom has anxiety and panic attacks and I feel like I don't know what to do most of the time. This was helpful!
Hey thank you so much for watching! I'm really glad you found it useful! That's really tough, it can be especially hard when it's a family member but thats amazing that you're looking out for her! X P.s. congrats on hitting 10k subs! That is massive!
Hey Camber just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Same here! You're not alone!👍
Same my sister has anxiety and panic attacks
just gonna leve this here: 1 hug goes a long way
One interesting counter-note: when my wife feels overwhelmed by anxiety, she actually *hates* being asked "What do you need?" Instead, she just wants to be held and told, "I'm here with you." I suspect there's a clear reason for this: in general in life, she's already keenly aware of what she needs in every situation, and trusts herself to articulate it. In moments of anxiety, she just wants to feel like she doesn't have to think or articulate anything, but rather just wants to be 100% taken care of. She will articulate if she needs something different.
In a way though, this is also a form of answering the question, "What do they need?" but just by knowing the person ahead of time :)
I've had more panic attacks that I've hot dinners, so this vid gets my seal of approval
haha of course! Glad to hear that it got the seal of approval! X
I know I need reassurance. I need to know its going to be okay and that this (feeling, moment, situation) will pass. To also hear someone say 'It must be terrible to go through this' really does help. It makes me feel heard and understood. It doesnt solve issues but it builds a connection between the anxious person and the supporter. I dont feel as alone.
Its daunting to be in my own mind right now, and when I get stressed or frantic its sooo good to feel understood, beacuse often I don't feel like myself and that aids to the spiralling.
Be a rock for your loved one. Let them anchor onto you for this bit of time until the panic or anxious feelings pass xxxx
Wow what a lovely and caring message! Thank you so much for these words. It really does make the world of difference doesn't it! Thanks for sharing your experience and for the words for everyone to read. I hope you're doing well x
My friend had a panic attack or anxiety attack today at school and I didn't know what to do and just tried to ask what was wrong and listen to what they were saying. So I wanted to learn what I should do when that happens and this helped a lot thank you:)
Sounds like you were really there for your friend and I'm sure that meant a lot. Nice one for looking into it and all the best with supporting them. My pleasure
Someone who gets it. Thank you.
This is such a helpful video when trying to help someone with depression or anxiety.Asking them what happened is a brilliant question because of course for every effect there is a cause.
So in a lot of cases it will get to the root of the problem I would think .Well done
His little acknowledgment at the end 😭 thank you so much for the whole video!
Thank you very much Emily. Glad you enjoyed the video so much :D
Such amazing advice on how to help someone who's having an anxiety or panic attack! Thanks for sharing Reuben!
My pleasure! Glad you enjoyed it!
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out. I hope your channel is going well: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Very helpful, I wanted to help out my friend that's going through a lot, Thanks!
This is such an incredible video, I am shocked it doesn't have more views. Showing this to my partner tonight! It's so hard to explain what to do & what not to do when you're in the middle of an anxiety spiral or panic attack. Thank you so much!
Hey Tara,
Thank you so much for your lovely comment! That's really made my day! Yeah it really can be difficult and I'm glad it's given you something you can pass over to help with that conversation.
I'm not making content on a podcast called Reuben Recommends which you can find on Spotify and Apple Podcasts if you wanted to check it out.
Wishing you all the best,
Reuben
Thank you for this. What you do is very important. I have a new friend who struggles with anxiety and panic attacks, and I want to be able to help them as much as I can because I’ve never done this before. This helped a lot!
Hey, thanks so much for your lovely comment. I think it's really wonderful that you want to be there for your friend like that and I'm really pleased that the video was a good resource for you.
I'm not putting out videos on youtube anymore, but I'm now doing podcasts called Reuben Recommends if you fancied checking them out podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Good luck with everything!
Excellent video. So many practical good tips and advice. Sometimes one simply doesn't know how to help those they care about who are experiencing acute challenging symptoms. Well done!
Thank you so much! I have definitely been in that situation quite a few times so I hope the video can help others in similar situations x
My sister’s anxiety has been really acting up lately. Sometimes She won’t talk to people, hug people or try to express it with anyone. I don’t know what has been going on with her, but I know she’s not ok. this video was very helpful though!!
Hey I'm glad to hear the video was helpful. Good luck with your sister x
Over the past week I've had three panic attacks and I'm trying to get information so that if I have one at school and can get ahold of one of my friends they can come help me. All of mine this week have been mostly at home, but they start with this feeling of something bad and next thing I know I'm crying and trying to work through it
Same
Before getting a an attack I feel that’s it’s coming idk why
My partner suffers with severe anxiety and panic attacks and it gets to the point she needs to be hospitalised and I try to comfort and be there for her as best I can but most of the time I don't even know what to do, I always seem to say or do the wrong things to help her through it and it sets her off off worse sometimes when all I want to do is be there for her so I appreciate this information and I will try and apply these techniques next time it happens thank you!!!
Sorry to hear its so bad! Really hope the information helps and sending love to you and your partner x
Thanks man. This was something I really wanted to learn because there is someone who I care about and I want to have this knowledge for.
I wasn’t expecting that “big ups"
😢😭
Glad you enjoyed it Miguel. If you like the content I'm now doing podcasts instead as Reuben Recommends x
Really practical, clear & useful. Thank you!
Hi David, I'm glad you enjoyed the video! Wishing you all the best
Big ups to you too Reuben!! What a great video - I had a friend have a panic attack after telling me something important and life changing in their life around Christmas time and I felt so lost as I didn't really know what to do other than to try and comfort them and distract them from the attack. I think the 5-4-3-2-1 tactic will really help if I end up in a similar situation again! Thank you!
Hey Marieke! Haha thank you!! I'm so glad you enjoyed the video and got so much from it. Yeah that sounds like a really challenging situation! Knowing you, I'm sure you were great comfort being there.
Yeah the mindfulness tactic is a really good one. It can really settle the person supporting them as well which can be really helpful. So much of giving the right support is in us feeling more and more comfortable in those situations, and having little tactics ready to go can really help. Thanks for watching and being such a legend! Hope you're doing good! X
Hey Marieke just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out. I hope you're doing really well!! Xx podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
This is going to be so helpful! I struggle to find the right ways to support people when they’re struggling with anxiety. Awesome video Reuben! I subscribed and am excited to support you as a fellow small TH-camr!
Thank you for watching and supporting Demetri! Glad you found it useful! Have subscribed to your channel. Really like your thumbnails :D
Hey Demetri just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Since my one and only big brother died… my mom is having panic attacks at night and i want to help her with it
Thank you so much Reuben. I found this so helpful and I've subscribed :) Blessings from New Zealand :)
You can now find me on my podcast Reuben Recommends: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
My favorite sister was trying to help me bringing all sorts of reasons why I had anxiety, instead of helping me, she became one of my problem. She kept calling me once I told her I feel fine and enjoying my time vacationing with my husband and kids. She kept calling me, and I told her off not to ever mention anxiety and even not to send me videos. She took it hard and send me not nice note, and w don’t talk ever since. I don’t care!
How incredibly rude and selfish of you.
Amazing session brother ❤
This is an incredibly helpful video anxiety is such a widespread issue affecting all ages and having tools to navigate it and help others too by being open and sharing all your great ideas will surely help a lot of people who are struggling out there .. thanks for this
I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I hope so! My pleasure :D X
thank you! My friend is going through really bad anxiety lately and I hope I can help a bit
Very kind! I am the very example of living anxiety! This is very helpful! Thank you!
Glad you found it helpful x
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
I have a little bit of anxiety myself at a work setting. I think caffine has something to do with it. Thanks for the upload man and good luck to you and your channel!
Hey yeah our work environment can often really trigger anxiety in us. I remember working a telesales job for a year and I had so much anxiety whenever I had to cold call a business, which was around 60 times a day haha. Caffeine can have a big influence as well yeah. Shocking to learn how much it stays in our system and disrupts our sleep. I'm really glad you enjoyed it! You too!
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
What's happening to you? vs. What's wrong with you? That differentiation alone was an eye-opener. Thanks for sharing. This is a very informative video.
Ah yeah that is such a good one! The smallest changes in how we say things can make the biggest difference for people. My pleasure, thank you for watching x
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407, yep, you're welcome.
@@TheOmega3Zone Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Superb advice.
Great points I wouldn't have thought of. Thanks for sharing!
Glad you enjoyed it man!! Thanks for watching!
Hey Alaska just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
This was huge man. Thank you so much.
This super helpful! Really liked the bit about asking what has happened as opposed to what is wrong with you. I have personally felt like my anxiety is invalid in the past which has made it worse so this is a great way to acknowledge that our anxiety is an accurate response. Very validating!!! Thank you!
Hey Izzy! Yeah that bit really resonated with me as well! Just the smallest changes in how we speak. How often do we hear, 'what's wrong?' It's so common but makes for a challenge each time. Instead asking what's going on, what's happened, what's causing you to feel this way. They all give the person the space to think of a real reason for the pain. Instead of them just answering something like, 'ah i'm just feeling down.' Glad to hear that it helped :D X
Hey Izzy! Yeah that bit really resonated with me as well! Just the smallest changes in how we speak. How often do we hear, 'what's wrong?' It's so common but makes for a challenge each time. Instead asking what's going on, what's happened, what's causing you to feel this way. They all give the person the space to think of a real reason for the pain. Instead of them just answering something like, 'ah i'm just feeling down.' Glad to hear that it helped :D X
Thank you!
Cheers Olivos - You can now find me on my podcast Reuben Recommends :podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Thank u so much for caring i hope that can help my best friend
That's my pleasure! Hope it helps
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407
I care for somebody a lot but they’re panic attacks freak me out a lot and I feel so panicked myself even tho they say that me being there helps them. And now all my other friends are telling me to back off such a stressful place to be in
This is very helpful
Glad to hear! I'm now on podcasts instead if you ever wanted to check that out on Spotify or Apple Podcasts under Reuben Recommends. All the best, Reuben
Really good vid mate 👊 getting better every vid (still loving the backdrop!)
Cheers man! Haha yeah it makes all the difference! ^_^ X
Thank u! Good video
Thank you for watching! If you like, I've swapped over to podcasts. It's called Reuben Recommends and is on apple and spotify podcasts x
Thank you for posting this.
That's my pleasure! Thanks for watching! If you fancy, I've moved from TH-cam to podcasts and you can find me on Apple or Spotify podcasts as Reuben Recommends
My partner takes it personal when I’m having a panic attack he thinks Im not happy with him then gets mad at me while I’m having one.
Sorry to hear about that. Do you think he would be open to watching this video or my other video on having anxiety?
Mine too
Such useful and easy to remember advise in this video. Well made and well done!
Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!
Yesterday I had a panic attack due to my anxiety. It was horrible. 😢it feels real
Thank you for sharing this video! It will help many people.
Glad it was helpful!
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
My grandfather had copd and enpazema. He is close to the end of this life and he is scared. This causes major anxiety and panic attacks. I'm looking for a good way to help and care for him.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather and you going through this. Hope the video was helpful x
Sorry for being awkward but you are a very kissable person 🙃
I mean you are hot....
but its the warmth and kindness that compels to just kiss you out of love ....
Keep doing what you do brother ❤
haha that's such an incredibly lovely message to receive! Definitely not used to that kind of comment so you've definitely made my day right there! 😊😇 Sending big love back to you!
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 Stay awesome and keep healing the world 🙌🏼
Best video ever
Thank you so much Eniola! I'm so glad you enjoyed the video so much!
I've stopped making youtube videos but you can now find me on my podcast Reuben Recommends: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
You can also find the podcast on Spotify as well.
I hope you enjoy!
By the way, I love your background.❤
Such an important topic! I love these topics cause so many people struggle with Anxiety in one way or antoher.
Yeah so true! Mental health is just as important as our physical health and it’s great people are slowly coming round to this idea x
Hey Rachel just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
I hope your doing okay my brother n i would love to talk to you one day about some things i need help with
Really good information.
Glad you got some helpful information out of it x
Hey just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Such awesome advice on how to help others. Love your videos!
Hey Zoe! Thank you so much for the love and support of the videos! That makes me feel really happy and proud! Hope your channel is going well!! X
THE POWER OF HELPING with Reuben Wachs of course!!! 💗 keep it up! Sending support!!
Hey Zoe just to let you know I've moved from youtube to podcasts. My podcast is called Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out: podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Also I hope your channel and everything is going well!
I have anxiety .i need your help
*Watches to support wife*
“Hey not bad, this is very insightful! Maybe this’ll give my oblivious mind an edge in not being useless to my partner during the next attack 👍”
*I want to take a moment to acknowledge you* 10:05
“Aye man *wipes tear back* you don’t have to do me like that let’s focus up here...”
😂
Haha what an amazing comment!! You're doing great man and she's lucky to have you. Keep it up!
I get so much anxiety about school because I used to get bullied and I’m not sure if I still do. Any advice?
Hey thanks for reaching out. I'm really sorry to hear that you've been experiencing a lot of anxiety. Getting bullied at school is a harrowing experience and I'm not surprised that your body is in fight or flight a lot of the top. I have a few suggestions yeah. I have a video on my channel about anxiety which you can watch here as a starting point: th-cam.com/video/j25dBJHuvJc/w-d-xo.html
The next thing is I would definitely speak to a therapist. This is what they are trained to help with. If you are in England you can find counsellors on www.counselling-directory.org.uk/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwktKFBhCkARIsAJeDT0inOmiIiQkD8vvTJp8EnTvUfIYckCVdZJijsE5eNrheUVgPg4bznksaAlg5EALw_wcB
I'd also check out The Stress Solution book by Rangan Chatterjee
Good luck
My uncle had a panic attack today and its happend before but when it happened before it was when we were at home and we were driving home today when he called us having a panic attack
Hey Saffron, sorry to hear this. It's definitely scary when that happens. Nice one for looking up how to help someone. My go to is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique. It's really good for those situations. Hope that your uncle can see someone that can help, therapy is fantastic for unrooting the underlying cause of the panic attacks. All the best
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 yeah i think hes having therapy later tofay or tomorrow
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 thanks for the tips
@@saffronridlington-white7879 That's great to hear that he's taking action. Really hope that helps! All the best Saffron
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 i will let you know the results as soon as i know
If u don’t wanna watch the video, just distract the person, try to get them not to think about it, that simple
Sir, I want to ask what if the person wants you to talk but you don't know what to say?
Hey Kelsy, thank you for the question. That can often be a challenging one. Firstly, you can actually just say to them 'I'm not really sure what to say, but I want you to know that I'm here for you.' Just by listening actively you are already helping them. Then the other thing is to reflect back the feeling of what they've just said. If they say, 'every time my boyfriend comes home I have to hide.' you can say 'it sounds like you're scared of him.' I'd really recommend having a watch of the video I did on listening effectively and empathically. th-cam.com/video/maQNda4zwck/w-d-xo.html&lc=Ugy32Pk0JU5IXud0YId4AaABAg
Hope that helps.
By the way I've swapped to podcasts now if you fancy checking them out at all.
General Apple link
podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/reuben-recommends/id1555563972
Spotify link
open.spotify.com/show/7LkbnpHEotYa2JW71A8ueH?si=bdiosS8_T_OpR9HIbyOErw
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 thank you so much sir! I'll listen to that and your other podcasts to improve myself in helping them.
@@ma.kelsy6511 Thank you Kelsy! All the best x
it's 8 am and i have had 3 panick attacks in a row
That must be awful! Are you speaking to a medical professional or therapist?
Also, I’ve got a video on overcoming anxiety which could be useful to watch. Hope it helps
@@thepowerofhelpingwithreube4407 not really i meditate but when i get stressed or anxious i get panick attacks all of a sudden and they're harsh because i feel like i can't breathe and it makes me even more anxious
Irie
My daughter has anxiety attack when I want to manke her understand that ur first priority to focus on ur studies and career and limit socialising with friends in this pandemic and she don't want to inform me in advance or take my permission and suddenly did thinks & plan with informing me when I tell her why u did this she is reacting that I m restricting her
This is for my girlfriend
I’m sorry, I don’t think by labeling problems is a good idea at all. The person who is trying to help a person with anxiety should just listen. Labeling makes it worse. My sister labeled one thing that I love to do, might be the cause for my anxiety, and that made me even more upset.
Next time include sub captions as not everyone understands the English you speak due to different accents
It has sub captions already. Just click the CC button by the settings cog on the video
Ok but why did your acknowledgment at 10:10 make me tear up? 🥹
Thank you 🙏
Hey Anahy, that's my pleasure. I have actually stopped the channel for now but I'm on podcasts as Reuben Recommends if you fancy checking it out
Thank you ❤