Hello Zoha, Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo thank you so much for this. I will use this at work and at home. I will practice everyday. This has the potential to change my life. Thank you 😊
"People may attack you, criticize you or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out or even walk all over you. But remember: whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value. "
You don't need to feel more value then that of a plant or bug, since you are equally mortal. So if you follow that advise of pretending to be of a value that in the end is priced gently, you will only build up irritation over how you didn't kick back at the bullies or the burglars or the whatever who were illtempered or cynical etc. Utopianism usually fails in the long run. A better "strategy" is to realize that all others are the only ones they could be, at the only time they could be so and so, but that works for those who are arrogant enough to stand firm. If you are a more idealized buddhist monk or a Jesus-like type then others in your patience but have faith in others, then this means that the point of you being more self-controlled is a charade, a paper wall. If you walk into more risk to your mental wall, that helps you to build strength, if that is your purpose, so there I agree with the speaker. This has nothing to do with any value though. People who are treated very badly might need to hear that they are valuable. In reality none are however more valuable than others, so there comes a time sooner or later to realize that. The best strategy is to act as if you are facing death any time, and to be arrogant. If you want to help others, give them something extra for example. Or teach them to be cocky.
“People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.”
@@iloveamerica4891 What a loving way of thinking Anurag Sherma (no idea which of the two is your first name). I'm cheering you on to continue doing this. I send you lots of love.
@Felipe Moraes Rigo Thanks for your gentle words of gratitude Felipe. Indeed; if people blame us, they are just trying to fulfill a need of them. Behind their words, there's always suffering. The best gift we can offer them is to not take it personally, but on the contrary try to emphatize with their needs. They even don't have to hear it out loud from you. Just the intention is a beautiful first step. Good luck mate!
If they taught kids to believe in themselves, value themselves and stand up for themselves, then they would eventually have adults who did the same... And they cannot have that now, can they?
Hi Mickey! The audience was rather quiet indeed. That is because hardly any sound was recorded from the reactions in the room. As a result, some reactions were added afterwards in the editing. The silent audience makes many suspect that they didn't find it interesting ... And you know, that's possible. Or they didn't like my style, or they were tired, or... or... Anyway; whatever the reason was, luckily I didn't take that personally :-)
@Principle At first I took it personally on the behalf of the presenter haha. "Why is the audience so quiet? Why are they there if they are not interested in what he has to say" was what I immediately thought. Then I thought that maybe the audio engineer set up the gig so you can mostly hear the presenter and not have any noise from the crowd which might explain why we don't hear them as much on the video. Regardless - a great presentation and huge thanks to Frederik Imbo for the life lesson!
If an audience is very quiet during a presentation (especially a thoughtful one), I normally take it as a sign that they are engaged and thinking. But I couldn't see the amount of smartphones out, and zombies on their phones can be quite irritating/distracting.
@Funky Human if you really know your value, and know your identity and perfection no even bullies can step over you. God made us as his image just the way we are ... Blessings!
Hi L B, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
This is very important specially these days, like millions of unwanted thoughts buzzing around your ears, its very hard to deal with those without proper help from someone who really understands
Thank you for reminding us that we're doing just fine. That we are not accountable for people's words and that we don't need unnecessary people's validation.
that's the spirit! I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
I didn’t know he quoted this- but how true his words were and are today! Sadly we know now how much his words deeply were from his own inner battle- I wonder if those around him ever listened to him speaking words such as this and responded by reaching out to him- sincerely caring what he battled?
As deep as that quote it- Seems he lost his battle... I can't respect a person who took his own life. Call me cruel. I don't care. Not the right person to use.
@@joshuav4021 'lost his battle' lol. Your 'respect' doesnt matter to anyone. Stop judging people so hard. Him taking his life doesnt obsolete the things he did while alive, good or bad, and it doesn't make him the 'wrong' person to quote.
Hello Pokii, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
IDK why people dont understand that breaking things down like that could be the best way...lets not take it personally its just someone wants you to understand in the most simplest and best way possible :)
This is called C-PTSD. (Complex post traumatic stress disorder). Million of people have it and don't even realised, i also got to know I've it too😭 Biggest symptoms are a overall dissatisfaction, anger issues, trust issues and you act like angry or frustrated all the time and your voice sounds like that. You can search on Google to know more about diagnosis. If this video was really relatable for you (this video put me on brink of breakdown) then chances are you possibly have it too. With no cure and 25% less levels of 3 main neurotransmitters in the brain (serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline) just make life unliveable unless you are actively enrolled in some kind of rejuvenating exercise or therapy for it or you're taking substances to alter your mental scene.
The main culprit is our inner thoughts. We almost often think of the worst case scenario in every situation, and as said in the video, take things personally. As someone who always do the first strategy, have a deeper understanding of the other person and the situation, I've not quite learned to take myself into consideration and speak up for myself. Thank you for making me realize to balance things out and set up boundaries for myself and others.
So true. An argument with my wife, her harsh words trying to bring me down. I finally said to her, I'm sorry, I cannot convince myself that I have no value.
"People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you, but remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value." 😊 This made me cry. THANK YOU!
@@frederikimbo the fact that you keep coming back to the comments over a year to reply quality suggestions and comments is applaudable. You really are about we 😆. Bless you
Hello Yasel! Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@@pend_deletekiandriajohnson6663 Even when it it factual, you can decide to not take it personally. Even when someone is bashing you, you can decide to not believe the words of the other person. If I tell you that you are an orange, you will not believe it. Why not? Because it is not true. So the work is for yourself to not let people affect you with their words. I admit, this is easier said than done. OR... another strategy, with another purpose, is to speak up or defend yourself. You tell the other one how you feel about it OR you take actions to let the other person be stopped. But you see; this has another outcome. The first strategy is there to help you to not take things personally. The second one is there to help you to come up for yourself. I hope this helps you.
I never thought I'd ever watch a TED talk, but I realize that I be hurting myself because I really take things personally with the people that I love. Thank you, my life will be so much easier.
Hello Bananamelon, Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Great stuff man! I really, really appreciate this after having a really bad day at work. Watching your stuff made me realize much value I do have.
@@prashantkunder515 Thank you Prashant Kunder. I'm glad that my tedx talk helped you after a bad day. Good luck applying the insights in your every day life!
Hello@@musicaldoge9412 Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
"It's not about ME!... It's about his/her emotions, bad experiences etc." I always have this thought spinning in my head when dealing with difficult people. It helps a lot.
Thank you so much 'Digital English'! I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@@petermayer7895 hi Peter. Even if the other person does not care, you can decide not to take their words and actions personally. What they say or do is only a strategy to try to fulfil their needs. Consequently, it has nothing to do with you. It is all about them. About what they need.
@@frederikimbo so best to do is to focus on what I need to do to feel better and fulfill my way? And whenever this kinda situations appear where I may think "Hmm i probably got betrayed again, they just use me to feel not alone" , to not take it personally and remind me that everybody just tries to find some things that make them feel good. And so should I Right? And thanks for the answer I didnt even expect you to answer Greetings from germany
The audience was seriously so unresponsive. I would be actively giving reactions to such a beautiful TED Talk. The man explained his points in such an easygoing and jovial manner. This was truly really amazing. 😊
Hello Ananya, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Hello Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
This advice is especially important today. People think of themselves too much as the main character in this modern world rather than just a piece of the whole.
Im the main charaker at my school because i got bullied, there are very much false rumors about me, everyone knows me and everyone talks about me. Maybe not 100% of them but at least 80%
Oka Ruto that’s just how u feel but in reality, nobody cares as much as u think they do.(attention wise. Nobody pays as much attention to u as u think) u might think that whenever someone hears a new rumour about u, that’s all they’re thinking about all day but really, it enters their brain and escapes their attention the next minute. Coz realistically, when u hear something bad or scandalous about someone, do u think about it all day? No. Coz ur ego is trained to always be thinking about itself, not someone that probably has no significance in ur life. And ur ego is also why u think everyone’s always thinking bad stuff about u or looking at u. Ur not the center of attention, no one is. For example, when ur in the hallways, are u looking and examining every person walking by? No, u glance at possibly everyone. Ur attention is never on any one person but everyone. And it’s not true attention either that requires focus. When u realize this truth, you’ll have more peace of mind. Hope that made sense and helped ☺️
@@okaruto6128 What happens then if everyone feels like they're the main character? Your story of being bullied and being the talk of the hallways has been replayed by other teenagers millions of times over. What should be important is who you are outside of other people's opinions. Who are you to this universe, besides a blip of intelligence in an infinite timeline of space? The broadest answer is you are Nothing, besides the Great Something. Find out what that means to you and every person becomes a main character.
@@Daciastyles Here's something for you to try out. When you're in the hallways surrounded but the hustle and bustle of the lively adolescence around you, become as present as possible. A quick way to do this is the try and feel the inside of your palms and count to 5, but feel within your heart, the space between the numbers. Feel the energy around you and find joy in the life around you. Let out a giggle or simply smile, people will notice the strong positive vibes coming from you. You will almost always pass the vibe check 😁
Summary: 1. It is _not_ about me. - Look at the other person's intention. 2. It is about me. - Give yourself empathy. Speak up. 3. People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.
hello guys, i have a question. i come from germany and at the moment i have to do a task for school over the internet. my english teacher gave me a task: I should watch the video and answer these questions: "what is the topic of the talk" "what are the strategies the person is talking about?" and "do you agree with the speaker" Can someone help me please ?
Some notes: -Reasons we talk things personally is because of ego and the desire to be right. -Solutions: 1) It's not about me. Look at WE. What's their intention. understand where they are coming from . For example, they want to be right, maybe they have a call they have been waiting for. 2)- deal with your negative beliefs. We take things personally because we know there is some truth in it. Big chance this is rooted in your childhood. So give yourself some empathy. 3) By telling people how you feel without blaming others might increase the chance of people taking your feelings into account. Remember whatever others do, you will always keep your value.
I disagree. This entire strategy is built on a not so healthy desire for everyone's approval. Convincing yourself that your friend is actually txting someone extremely important like their boss, or convincing yourself that they are just txting a random other friend who you don't think is that interesting, results in the same thing, allowing your self esteem to be based on other peoples reactions to you. And so you live in la la land about the whole thing, the point is that you dont actually know who they are txting, you personally wouldn't do that while hanging with a friend over coffee, but they have decided to be rude, and who cares, because your self esteem and happiness is no actually based on other peoples reactions to you. You don't actually need to be that interesting to friends in order to get what you need in life. Now in saying this, other peoples reactions tell us where we stand in society, what power we have in getting what we want or need from someone, and they tell us if there is a threat. So we need to acknowledge these things but at the same time find a different source for our peace of mind about life and our safety and prosperity in general.
This was absolutely the best TED talks ever to me. It made me cry and feel so much better. I always take everything personally which makes me feel so exhausted and hurt myself. Thanks for Fredrick for sharing this amazing strategy.
Hello Sooyesonlim, Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
A friend of mine said “do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy” to me years ago and it’s the single greatest piece of advice I’ve ever had. There are still plenty of times when I have to be right over being happy but at least I’m more aware of it now when it’s happening!!!
These 17 minutes have helped me understand my social anxiety more than I ever thought a video could. I now have a new process of thinking that I will apply to my every minute of life.
Hello Taylor Petrarca. Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@Wild Pixel obviously I’m still an anxious person, (I always will be) but I now have a new mindset when it comes to social situations. This video has given me new beliefs/tools to shift my anxious thoughts
When he said that we takes things personally cause of our ego, it really hit me. I don’t have a big ego but my self esteem wasn’t always the best. After I heard him say that I was like damn it really is all my inner ego
Hello Satyashree! Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
And yet, when you stop to consider, the reason no ovation was given is because of the feelings of guilt in knowing we all do this every. single. day. It's an ego defense. Some may have been searching inward immediately and some may have not made it past their defensive reactions. In any event, Frederik, you are a treasure to this world.
@@michaelwillette5837 Dear Michael, what a hartwarming message. Thank you so much. On top of that I really agree with the fact that people might have felt guilty or ashamed because of recognizing themselves in the ego part taking over. Good luck with your journey my friend Michael. Have a wonderful day, inspiring others.
Taking things personally= deeply rooted internal belief of a lack in self. If I see someone laughing and looking at me I automatically assume there’s something wrong with my outfit, body, or odor lol. The root is that I genuinely didnt have confidence when I put my outfit on, or I haven’t been eating healthy and become insecure in my body, or I just got done running and didn’t have enough time to freshen up. This was profound to me and I needed this talk, thank you!
Hi Cra foreal, Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
I think we all understand by now that Ted videos are so important for our daily lives and ourselves. This should be the foundation of what we should need to know and build the thinking habit about asking ourselves the questions constantly-- why we do things.
TheNaishproductions Teachers shouldn't have a lot in their plates but instead, be guides and organizers of the process of learning and above all promoters of self-knowledge.
@@TheNaishproductions-tn3yb Not all families talk about things like that, and not every child has parents. I think it would be a good idea to teach children about that in school. It seems to be a key to communication. We need people who can communicate well because we invest a lot to teach people one subject well at university, so they can be experts to benefit our society. But what if they can not communicate and listen to the knowledge of others because their ego gets in the way, or they don‘t share their knowledge because others told them to shut up. Communication ist key, only then we can network and use the knowledge as a society. It is very important to take different perspectives into consideration and not play devils advocate all the time when it comes to complex questions of our time, like the future of our economic system. Would’t it be helpful to be able to learn from each other instead of feeling lectured, to be criticized and still feel motivated? I know this is not exactly what he is saying in his presentation, but I think it could help with that. Excuse my bad english skills
Man. I’ve been looking for someone like you all my life to relate to so I didnt feel alone in how I felt. I always take things too personally. But watching this has genuinely changed my life. Thank you
Hello NanoGalactic, Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
You pop up on numerous comment sections elsewhere ...repeating the same marketing BS like an irritating fly that won't go away . Kindly buzz off and do something useful rather than misleading folk for money .
Being a very sensitive person, i get quickly affected by others opinions or acts. Thank you for teaching me the strategies to protect myself from others and to still find something to learn and improve myself without being hurt. THANK YOU SO MUCH. U opened my eyes and heart to be a better person with myself.
You take things personally when it touches a raw nerve ......... So very true. Thankyou for enlightening me on the importance of handling things with care. Not just for me but for everyone around me.
Hello Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
“Look at the other person’s intention”…..so powerful👏🏽It’s so important to realize that a person’s character is who they are WAY before you met them. You have to find a way to not change your character based on their actions. Great discussion Frederik!
@@EmilyRose1 honestly just look at it this way: there was a reason they were vague. it has nothing to do with you. and even if it did, do you want someone like that in ur life?
Hello James! Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
I came across your Ted Talk Frederick at a time in my life when I desperately needed to hear something like this. You put it so clearly and already I am going to start following your advice. I thank you so very much.
IVE NEVER CONNECTED SO MUCH TO HIS WORDS. It is so reassuring that there's people out there who have experienced the same challenges as me and are able to rise up higher than before. This speech is a huge encouragement for me to continue pushing and build upon myself as a person and my relationships with others. Thank you Frederik!!!!!!!
last sentence made me cry. We don’t want to show we are vulnerable just to protect our ego. But actually no matter how hurt you are mentally, you are still you, you still has the same exact value
Hello! Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
This is so me. My life is so miserable because of my thoughts. I am too much concerned about other people's opinions about me. Even if they don't talk about me, there are a lot of thoughts in my mind .Thank you for this talk. I am going to work on this .
Hello Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
When you are confident in life and when you understand your flaws and strengths. No criticism will bother you, no appreciation will make you excited. You become free of the influence that other people have on you.
There are so many people lacking that confident with out thyre deed , its all related to thyre childhood , and the confident is kind of forbidden to them, it’s really hard to get back to the root and chnge all , and again comeback
The pastors at my church call this strategy “generous assumptions”- assuming the best of someone, thinking of alternative reasons why they may have done something rather than assuming the worst. Super helpful.
@@sangto5385 There are two things. Seeing the positive intention behind someone's behavior is the strategy to no longer taking things personally. This does not mean that you have to passively agree with what they do. Thus the second things is how you react on this. Speak up and let the other one know what you feel and need. Do this out of the intention to connect with the other and not out of the intention of wanting tot punish the other one.
Careful there, you may end up being a " doormat " to people. It's nice and okay to be considerate but be aware of people wanting to take advantage of your kindness. Some people are just bad do the bone and don't seek change no matter how much good you're trying to see in them. You might die trying.
Hi Hemant Prasad. Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo OMG it's you thank you so much. Honestly, I am a person who takes everything personally and I was looking for these kinds of videos or movies or anything that can teach me how not to take it personally. Thank you so much. I am on youtube for a long time and I watched so many different things but I can say this is the biggest lesson I have ever learned. I will practice every minute to lesson this method.
Hi Eberton. Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
bro I ignore all human and they ignore me so does that mean Im qualified for a seat on the world tour? Holding presentations for how to ignore people, all around world...sounds pretty nice
But then there´s that man tolerant enough to ignore people that can change the world. In most cases change not for the mans better. I see a lot of those men around these days and it scares me
This whole ted talk was an absolute masterpiece. I don't think there is anyone better who could have told this. As an ethnic, when I was a child I always struggled with my adaptation in the society, as people with low iq are really harsh with my kind of people, even though I have a good education and I don't do any trouble. So when I first saw this I can say it changed my life, my perception of every situation that I've been through or I will. It is so much easier now to not be offended and just being peaceful and minding my own business.
I was a former security guard, and I've learnt what he learned as a referee... When people are being rude, it's not me, it's my security company clothes.
Hello Tia, Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Just watching this gave me a sense of peace. As in I literally felt all the tension leaving my body and I started giggling like a mad lad. Never realized how much my ego controlled my thoughts until now. Very insightful video and the speaker seemed very genuine and kind. I like his energy
Hello Garrett, Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Hello Summer Mackay! Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank you for taking the time to write me this wonderful message!! I appreciate it, I’ve already shown this video to a number of friends and family. I use your advice daily and it has inspired me to make a change and become a better person. Thank you again. ❤️
@@calvinwon5113 topic of Talk, How not to take things personal . You FAIL. go ahead and Google JOKE.. In tough times like these , its a must to laugh . try and find your happy spot buddy. namaste
Hello Kpaxian! Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you and that you liked my personality and temperament. What a nice message to receive. Wow. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Yeah, but was it me or you'll too felt that the audience wasn't that responsive to this amazing speaker. He was being so good out there trying to engage with the audience. But still no one clapped nor responded. Felt bad. Idk why but I kinda took that personally 🙃
I was feeling a bit down for this past few weeks because people started ignoring me, but I clicked on this video and it showed me peace. I should never take it personally. To think about it I am a boring person after all and it's my fault. But that isn't the case, as the 2nd strategy said: It is about me, give yourself empathy, and speak up. It showed me that I should assess the problem without ever blaming others. Open up your heart, speak up to the people who ignore you and ask, and break out of your shell. And at the last part of the quote that Mr. Frederik spoke "whatever you do or say, you will always know your worth" and it opened my eyes to so many things, gave my heart peace and a clear state of mind. Thank you TED and Mr.Frederik on this short talk, I am truly grateful
Hi Jayden. Your openness touches me. Thank you for sharing what you feel. I really hope you can put all the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Hi Frederik. I just read Jayden's story above and I questioned myself. What if he's a really boring person? I mean, what if he's in a group of people and then he starts talking and it's super boring, he doesn't know about the topic, he tries to invent things just to participate but in reality he doesn't know anything. I'm not talking about Jayden here, I'm just using his case as an example. Should he rethink about what is he doing wrong to make people bored or go away and think that might be people's problem?
@@henrique83747 I think the reality is happiness at the end of the day. If he is happy being boring and not learn to many topics than he is speaking his own truth and happiest with less going on in his mind. If he is not happy and wants to learn more and be more interesting... Than he needs to make that a priority for his own happiness ... Not for anyone else. People want to be around happy people... Not necessarily know-it-all people. Its their happiness they are attracted to... Not factual information.
Hey, this video is really inspiring. I must say I was never good enough for my mother, to any tiny thing I did there was some fault, rarely did I receive a compliment. To top it off mother's relations are of all same manner, except a very few. I try my level best to keep my distance from them, since school I was second in class, was been compared to my best friend who went to same classes, who was class first. I made to university, and graduated and now relations compare my salary with their own children's salaries. I don't care what they say, I cared as long as I had allocated a place for them as people who are mine, but know they are strangers, when strangers scold or laugh at you, we feel less. I m happy in my life for who I m and if people cant tolerate me, I don't mind them distancing themselves from me. Life is short, best live it happy, than live life as to abid by someone else's say. When I ask my mother why she scold me, its too make me a perfect person, and prevent me from getting scolded by society. I love my mother, she has done so much for me yet in morning I try to keep my distance, and prevent from getting into a heated argument, and spoiling the day, and a chain of anger cycles that revolve.
Hi Eric. Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you, especially my last line. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank You Frederik for the response and encouraging words too I have already shared this with some close friends... On another note if you do not respond to this message it's ok I know not to take it personally Lol!
The way Hidden Time Wealth dives into the concept of productivity is mind-blowing. Hidden Time Wealth tips are pure gold, and I wish more people knew about them.
Best 17 minutes to watch. The way he was speaking and explaining, his gesture, expression all of it was very captivating. I didn’t realise how time passed. The speech was very beautiful.
Hello Mienarvaa! Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
When someone is in front of me driving at 10 miles per hour and I can't over-take because they're blocking the whole road, instead of getting furious, I feel grateful and tell myself they're protecting me from a road accident which might be occurring ahead of us. Works every time.
Is not just about your attitude but would say is quite surprise thought .In my point of view is a mindset behaviour that matters mainly ;) still like that.
Dear Frederik, This is one of the best TED Talks I have ever watched! I would have loved to sit down and chat to you, because you are an inspiration of something that I have been stuggling with all my life. Thank you for this TED!
I have been taking some things personally lately and it's been worsening my depression and anxiety. This video was exactly what I needed. Having that mindset shift and being able to look at situations outside of my ego helps so much in processing my feelings and worries.
For someone like me who's been attacked by cold people including many of my classmates,people who I use to call friends,relatives and even parents,who's always treated me bad,ignored and made me feel left out all my life,I know all of these feelings very very well and when I chose to become vulnerable and people still don't understand me and instead makes me feel like my struggle's nothing, your words"Keep your value up" made my day!!Thank you!♥️
Hello Sidharth, Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end! I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
I see you my friend. Thank you for sharing it here. It happened to me when I was teenager and later on too. I had deep trust issues but I can tell you now being on the other side - it gets better the older you get. Learn about nonviolent communication, I also recommend a short guide to process intense emotions "What's making you angry". It can transform your state within minutes (it's unreal and I'm not paid to say it). Absolutely changed my life for better. So much peace and no more abuse. These books teach you how to deal with unaware people. They usually don't realise they are hurting others and you as a more aware human can totally change your life (and maybe theirs one day). Keep going my friend, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it's enough for everyone 🙏
I can understand you ,the cold people never gonna understand u, the family those who conditioned in you never understand you , they may undervalue your struggles , they may say it’s all not even a struggle ❤
People commenting about the lack of laughter - I think this is down to the fact that we can all resonate with this so they're focussing on what he's saying trying to learn something!
The audience was quite quiet indeed. That is because hardly any sound was recorded from the reactions in the room. As a result, some reactions were added afterwards in the editing. The silent audience makes many suspect that they didn't find it interesting ... And you know, that's possible. Or they didn't like my style, or they were tired, or... or... Anyway; whatever the reason was, luckily I didn't take that personally :-)
@@frederikimbo I appreciate this and I think your style works well with delivering the message. I have learnt a useful skill from this which I can use in real life situations.... I hope over time with enough practice it will be a natural thing for me to not take things personally! Thank you
Narcissistic people like to bring others down because they can’t handle their own problems and are afraid to comfort them and deal them. Sadly that’s a massive issue in society
Hi Smashing Dan! Thank you so much for your smashing message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
I completely agree! I was so blown away by the ending and I have already shared this talk with my close friends and all of my Facebook friends. Thank you @frederik Imbo for such an insightful talk! I really needed it today and it reminds me exactly of the strategies I was was looking for! xo
06:50 - It’s not about me. (Look at the other person’s intention.) 08:00 - Shift your focus from “me” to “we.” 12:10 - It IS about me. (Is there some truth in it?) 14:24 - Give yourself some empathy. 14:43 - Speak up. 15:15 - Summary.
"Not to take things personally" is the most difficult and valuable lesson to learn in life. When we feel we are able to do that at least in some situations during a day, it feels so good... That requires training and we aren't never prepared enough. Continuous training....
Insightful wisdom 🤗 So true! I have value no matter what people do or say 💕 I believe each person is valuable & has a story to share and lessons to teach each other. God Bless 💕 👼🌟🙏
I feel like this is the number one cause that ruined my friendships, my social skills, my friendliness, my self-confidence, and my likability as a whole. Thank you Mister Frederik for the talk. I know this will help.
Hello uncle Gardener. Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you. I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Who can take it ? I find it hard to believe someone would. No offense. Have I not learned the moral of the speech ? 1) it's not about me, it's just he is trying to clarify the message. 2) it's about me, I deserve this. No way. Can't be. 3) it's odd to take it. Not familiar. Against tradition. So I won't. 4) usually bad guys attack by those acts. Are angry when they squash things. It's conformity to tough sad negative memory. 5) he's not serious about giving it to anyone in the first place. Oh thank you, at last I'm comfortable again.
I have watched this again after 3 years and I can literally feel the power as I remember all the times I tried not to take things personally, using this strategy and trust me it feels empowering!!!
Hi Hitanshi! Thank you for sharing me this. I'm super happy that this works for you! I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
A powerful summary of an impactful strategy. Remember: They might crush you, criticize you, spit you out or walk all over you, remember to keep your value. Thank you sir for this great lesson
That's the spirit Vignesh Waran! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others. From the bottom of my heart, Frederik Imbo
Hi , Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
@@frederikimbo8767 Thank you so much for your response! I’ve been putting this into practice at my job and sharing it with my coworkers. It’s made the day go by much easier than before. I feel the same way sometimes getting frustrated even when I try not to take it personally, but you’ve been a huge help 💕
And yes he is clearly speaking from experience where he has been under-valued/exploited etc in this life. But people like him, they find true love in this world.
very inspring to me as somenoe who always overthinks and takes things way too personally. watching this vid taught me a lesson about not prioritizing my feelings over the actual facts when things trigger my nerves.
The vulnerability in him is purely astonishing. I feel like being more vulnerable by being in a safe environment like with my trustworthy friends, and I’d get so closed off by being with my parents who ignore, invalidate, and look down on my vulnerabilities. I wished I could be as brave as him to be vulnerable in front of everyone.
Hi Sherry, I find it quiet strong of you to be so vulnerable and share this on this platform. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you. I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on! Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others. Warmly, Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo omg thank you sooo much Frederik!! It’s such a nice surprise to see you actually replying me! You’re the first person who replied me here and I appreciate it very much. Your video was so powerful to watched and it had brought me confidence and peace. This video will def be passing along to some of my friends who I knew needs help too!
you can if you learn to validate yourself. Tell yourself how well you did some particular action - even write yourself a loving comment and stick it on your mirror. I tell my clients that "I haven't done it yet but maybe I actually can!" is way better than "I cant do this, it is too hard." Perception is everything. Remember that You created the so-called bad guy who might do you harm - he is not real - you created him/her Turn him/her into a good guy. If you can do a negative, you can ALSO DO A POSITIVE.
Last message was the best.
Your value does not decrease because of someone's inability to see your worth.
Keep going!
Hello Zoha,
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo thank you so much for this. I will use this at work and at home. I will practice everyday. This has the potential to change my life. Thank you 😊
Thank you Zoha ✨🙏✨….i really hear this…my work is to really Feel this and believe it until its ingrained ❤️
but there are so many narcissists 😅🤭
@@frederikimbo it is impressive that you keep in touch after 1 year.
"Do u want to be right or do u want to be happy?"
Best sentence!!!
Thanks Jasmin!
@@frederikimbo I love how you still respond one year later it so nice:)
@@frederikimbo I wish if I've someone in my life like you Sir, to share my feelings.
Dr Phil's been sayin that line for years.
sounds like the underlying issue of emotionally driven political rants.
"People may attack you, criticize you or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out or even walk all over you. But remember: whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value. "
That's the spirit Javohir.
dusted!
This is a powerful statement.
You don't need to feel more value then that of a plant or bug, since you are equally mortal. So if you follow that advise of pretending to be of a value that in the end is priced gently, you will only build up irritation over how you didn't kick back at the bullies or the burglars or the whatever who were illtempered or cynical etc. Utopianism usually fails in the long run. A better "strategy" is to realize that all others are the only ones they could be, at the only time they could be so and so, but that works for those who are arrogant enough to stand firm. If you are a more idealized buddhist monk or a Jesus-like type then others in your patience but have faith in others, then this means that the point of you being more self-controlled is a charade, a paper wall. If you walk into more risk to your mental wall, that helps you to build strength, if that is your purpose, so there I agree with the speaker. This has nothing to do with any value though. People who are treated very badly might need to hear that they are valuable. In reality none are however more valuable than others, so there comes a time sooner or later to realize that. The best strategy is to act as if you are facing death any time, and to be arrogant. If you want to help others, give them something extra for example. Or teach them to be cocky.
@@frederikimbo The best referee was Collina. Nobody could outpsych him. He was the god of the soccer field/football pitch. In his mind.
“People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.”
I practice practice practice Good thoughts. Good words. Good deeds. You can only control yourself. God loves everyone.
Thank you for quoting me Anish! Good luck putting the tips in practice!
@@iloveamerica4891 What a loving way of thinking Anurag Sherma (no idea which of the two is your first name). I'm cheering you on to continue doing this. I send you lots of love.
@Felipe Moraes Rigo Thanks for your gentle words of gratitude Felipe. Indeed; if people blame us, they are just trying to fulfill a need of them. Behind their words, there's always suffering. The best gift we can offer them is to not take it personally, but on the contrary try to emphatize with their needs. They even don't have to hear it out loud from you. Just the intention is a beautiful first step. Good luck mate!
That bit gave me chills!!
I WONDER WHY THESE THINGS ARE NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOL. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE STARTS WITH AWARENESS. THANKS FOR THIS WONDERFUL TALK SIR.
If they taught kids to believe in themselves, value themselves and stand up for themselves, then they would eventually have adults who did the same... And they cannot have that now, can they?
Because this should be taught by parents and not school. School isnt for teaching kids, what they need emotionally in live.
everything starts with awareness☺☺
U stole my words.
@@purpledino1024 To know a thing is to have power over a thing.
He really didnt take it personally, in presenting to such a Dull audience. Bravo sir, you proved your point
Hi Mickey! The audience was rather quiet indeed. That is because hardly any sound was recorded from the reactions in the room. As a result, some reactions were added afterwards in the editing.
The silent audience makes many suspect that they didn't find it interesting ... And you know, that's possible. Or they didn't like my style, or they were tired, or... or...
Anyway; whatever the reason was, luckily I didn't take that personally :-)
@Principle At first I took it personally on the behalf of the presenter haha. "Why is the audience so quiet? Why are they there if they are not interested in what he has to say" was what I immediately thought. Then I thought that maybe the audio engineer set up the gig so you can mostly hear the presenter and not have any noise from the crowd which might explain why we don't hear them as much on the video. Regardless - a great presentation and huge thanks to Frederik Imbo for the life lesson!
If an audience is very quiet during a presentation (especially a thoughtful one), I normally take it as a sign that they are engaged and thinking. But I couldn't see the amount of smartphones out, and zombies on their phones can be quite irritating/distracting.
@gonzalo The last sentence got me laughing, good point! Kudos to Frederik!!!
Another way of looking at it is...it's a sensitive topic internally for everyone and so they were quiet and absorbing it all, perhaps?
Leaving this here. Whenever someone likes this comment I’ll come back to this lesson
hey
Time for your lesson
come back here
Time for class
It’s been 2 weeks since the last time they remind you, have you been coming back?
I cried when he said "No matter what people say, you will always keep you value." Hit me like a ton of bricks.
So wholesome 😭
Me too 😭
Kk
@@cristyjanezarate8556 jj
@Funky Human if you really know your value, and know your identity and perfection no even bullies can step over you. God made us as his image just the way we are ... Blessings!
There should be a class in school where we just watch Ted talks all day.
Hi L B,
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
This is very important specially these days, like millions of unwanted thoughts buzzing around your ears, its very hard to deal with those without proper help from someone who really understands
i used to skip class and just watch ted talks instead
defiantly this is what i would like to learn
Why not it's better
He seems to be a nice person. Like in reunion, he's the type of uncle you want to sit by with and talk about life.
Hi my niece Jo Zhang. Thx for the compliment seeing me as a kind uncle!
Oh hi Uncle@@frederikimbo thank you for responding and thank you for this inspiring video.
AHAHA SAMEEE
Life! That’s it! That’s exactly what I would talk about with him. Like peer pressure, struggling with negative surroundings, etc
@@frederikimbo Your face makes me smile you’re so positive
Thank you for reminding us that we're doing just fine. That we are not accountable for people's words and that we don't need unnecessary people's validation.
that's the spirit! I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know absolutely nothing about. Be kind. Always."
-Robin Williams (1951-2014)
True! Thank you Malcolm!
I didn’t know he quoted this- but how true his words were and are today! Sadly we know now how much his words deeply were from his own inner battle- I wonder if those around him ever listened to him speaking words such as this and responded by reaching out to him- sincerely caring what he battled?
As deep as that quote it- Seems he lost his battle... I can't respect a person who took his own life. Call me cruel. I don't care. Not the right person to use.
@@joshuav4021 'lost his battle' lol. Your 'respect' doesnt matter to anyone. Stop judging people so hard. Him taking his life doesnt obsolete the things he did while alive, good or bad, and it doesn't make him the 'wrong' person to quote.
hello@Malcolm how are you
He explained it to us like we are fifth graders and that’s exactly what I needed; a good break down and understanding of each part. This was beautiful
Hello Pokii,
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank YOU, Frederick!
IDK why people dont understand that breaking things down like that could be the best way...lets not take it personally its just someone wants you to understand in the most simplest and best way possible :)
Exactly what I needed as well
as einstein said, If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.
"when you are being criticized and it hurts, chances are big that this is rooted in your childhood" felt that
That's the spirit Joseph!
that part got me good
This is called C-PTSD. (Complex post traumatic stress disorder). Million of people have it and don't even realised, i also got to know I've it too😭
Biggest symptoms are a overall dissatisfaction, anger issues, trust issues and you act like angry or frustrated all the time and your voice sounds like that. You can search on Google to know more about diagnosis. If this video was really relatable for you (this video put me on brink of breakdown) then chances are you possibly have it too. With no cure and 25% less levels of 3 main neurotransmitters in the brain (serotonin, dopamine, adrenaline) just make life unliveable unless you are actively enrolled in some kind of rejuvenating exercise or therapy for it or you're taking substances to alter your mental scene.
Hey i feel same, how to fix this or atleast get better, i cant take steps to find the solution @@newheadstart
@@newheadstartchillax bro
The main culprit is our inner thoughts. We almost often think of the worst case scenario in every situation, and as said in the video, take things personally. As someone who always do the first strategy, have a deeper understanding of the other person and the situation, I've not quite learned to take myself into consideration and speak up for myself. Thank you for making me realize to balance things out and set up boundaries for myself and others.
"Whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value." Words for the wise.
So true. An argument with my wife, her harsh words trying to bring me down. I finally said to her, I'm sorry, I cannot convince myself that I have no value.
@@tperk Powerful. Thanks brother.
That's the spirit!
but it's not true.
@@jessicawarrior6439 it can be if you allow it to be in your life.
"People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you, but remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value." 😊 This made me cry. THANK YOU!
Thank you for your gentle message! I'm glad you liked the ending of my TEDx talk. So thanks for watching till the end!
So true!!!
Me too ❤️
@@frederikimbo the fact that you keep coming back to the comments over a year to reply quality suggestions and comments is applaudable. You really are about we 😆. Bless you
Yeah, me too.
I love how he doesn’t bash anyone for taking things personally. He just gives advice. This is what we need in this world
It is because he has been there himself. It is easier to give insight for something you have already experienced for yourself.
Hello Yasel!
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@pend_deletekiandriajohnson6663 There is a fine balance. Communication is not easy.
@@pend_deletekiandriajohnson6663 Even when it it factual, you can decide to not take it personally. Even when someone is bashing you, you can decide to not believe the words of the other person. If I tell you that you are an orange, you will not believe it. Why not? Because it is not true. So the work is for yourself to not let people affect you with their words. I admit, this is easier said than done.
OR... another strategy, with another purpose, is to speak up or defend yourself. You tell the other one how you feel about it OR you take actions to let the other person be stopped. But you see; this has another outcome. The first strategy is there to help you to not take things personally. The second one is there to help you to come up for yourself. I hope this helps you.
@@michaelwillette5837 it isnt if you keep thinking that way
I never thought I'd ever watch a TED talk, but I realize that I be hurting myself because I really take things personally with the people that I love. Thank you, my life will be so much easier.
"You always keep your value" I needed this message desperately. I've taken too much too personally to my own detriment.
Hello Bananamelon,
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Great stuff man! I really, really appreciate this after having a really bad day at work.
Watching your stuff made me realize much value I do have.
@@prashantkunder515 Thank you Prashant Kunder. I'm glad that my tedx talk helped you after a bad day. Good luck applying the insights in your every day life!
Replaying cuz I was so uncertain where that last message was going for a minute and then POOF, fantastic metaphor!
Hello@@musicaldoge9412
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
"It's not about ME!... It's about his/her emotions, bad experiences etc." I always have this thought spinning in my head when dealing with difficult people.
It helps a lot.
Thank you so much 'Digital English'!
I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo what if the Intention of the other Person becomes clear and i know that he/she just didnt care about me for example
@@petermayer7895 hi Peter. Even if the other person does not care, you can decide not to take their words and actions personally. What they say or do is only a strategy to try to fulfil their needs. Consequently, it has nothing to do with you. It is all about them. About what they need.
@@frederikimbo so best to do is to focus on what I need to do to feel better and fulfill my way? And whenever this kinda situations appear where I may think "Hmm i probably got betrayed again, they just use me to feel not alone" , to not take it personally and remind me that everybody just tries to find some things that make them feel good. And so should I
Right?
And thanks for the answer I didnt even expect you to answer
Greetings from germany
@@petermayer7895 With pleasure Peter. Yes! You understood it correctly. Everyone is responsible for trying to meet their own needs. Good luck!
The audience was seriously so unresponsive. I would be actively giving reactions to such a beautiful TED Talk. The man explained his points in such an easygoing and jovial manner. This was truly really amazing. 😊
Hello Ananya,
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
You took it personally. Maybe they are absorbing the message. It doesn't always have to have responses.
@@layoutarchitect exactly or maybe the room wasn’t that full.
Is this about you or...? 😂😂😂
You see? He didn't take it personally.. 🤘🏻😁
The most useful 17 minutes of my life! “Keep your value”
This entire speech hit hard and got me into tears
Why did you copy a whole comment 😹
Hello
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
This advice is especially important today. People think of themselves too much as the main character in this modern world rather than just a piece of the whole.
I totally agree. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Im the main charaker at my school because i got bullied, there are very much false rumors about me, everyone knows me and everyone talks about me. Maybe not 100% of them but at least 80%
Oka Ruto that’s just how u feel but in reality, nobody cares as much as u think they do.(attention wise. Nobody pays as much attention to u as u think) u might think that whenever someone hears a new rumour about u, that’s all they’re thinking about all day but really, it enters their brain and escapes their attention the next minute. Coz realistically, when u hear something bad or scandalous about someone, do u think about it all day? No. Coz ur ego is trained to always be thinking about itself, not someone that probably has no significance in ur life. And ur ego is also why u think everyone’s always thinking bad stuff about u or looking at u. Ur not the center of attention, no one is. For example, when ur in the hallways, are u looking and examining every person walking by? No, u glance at possibly everyone. Ur attention is never on any one person but everyone. And it’s not true attention either that requires focus. When u realize this truth, you’ll have more peace of mind. Hope that made sense and helped ☺️
@@okaruto6128 What happens then if everyone feels like they're the main character? Your story of being bullied and being the talk of the hallways has been replayed by other teenagers millions of times over. What should be important is who you are outside of other people's opinions. Who are you to this universe, besides a blip of intelligence in an infinite timeline of space? The broadest answer is you are Nothing, besides the Great Something. Find out what that means to you and every person becomes a main character.
@@Daciastyles Here's something for you to try out. When you're in the hallways surrounded but the hustle and bustle of the lively adolescence around you, become as present as possible. A quick way to do this is the try and feel the inside of your palms and count to 5, but feel within your heart, the space between the numbers. Feel the energy around you and find joy in the life around you. Let out a giggle or simply smile, people will notice the strong positive vibes coming from you. You will almost always pass the vibe check 😁
Summary:
1. It is _not_ about me.
- Look at the other person's intention.
2. It is about me.
- Give yourself empathy. Speak up.
3. People may attack you, criticise you, or ignore you. They can crumple you up with their words, spit you out, or even walk all over you. But remember, whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value.
Thank you for the summary Fernando!
@@frederikimbo, thank you for sharing such edifying thoughts! I really enjoyed and appreciated your insightful storytelling.
love people like you
But I'm still recommend everyone to watch this beutiful video
hello guys, i have a question. i come from germany and at the moment i have to do a task for school over the internet. my english teacher gave me a task: I should watch the video and answer these questions: "what is the topic of the talk" "what are the strategies the person is talking about?" and "do you agree with the speaker" Can someone help me please ?
Some notes:
-Reasons we talk things personally is because of ego and the desire to be right.
-Solutions:
1) It's not about me. Look at WE. What's their intention. understand where they are coming from . For example, they want to be right, maybe they have a call they have been waiting for.
2)- deal with your negative beliefs. We take things personally because we know there is some truth in it. Big chance this is rooted in your childhood. So give yourself some empathy.
3) By telling people how you feel without blaming others might increase the chance of people taking your feelings into account.
Remember whatever others do, you will always keep your value.
Thank you for your brief summary Melody Chia!
Took a screenshot, far too valuable to trust my memory to remember it.
Empathy.
I disagree. This entire strategy is built on a not so healthy desire for everyone's approval. Convincing yourself that your friend is actually txting someone extremely important like their boss, or convincing yourself that they are just txting a random other friend who you don't think is that interesting, results in the same thing, allowing your self esteem to be based on other peoples reactions to you. And so you live in la la land about the whole thing, the point is that you dont actually know who they are txting, you personally wouldn't do that while hanging with a friend over coffee, but they have decided to be rude, and who cares, because your self esteem and happiness is no actually based on other peoples reactions to you. You don't actually need to be that interesting to friends in order to get what you need in life. Now in saying this, other peoples reactions tell us where we stand in society, what power we have in getting what we want or need from someone, and they tell us if there is a threat. So we need to acknowledge these things but at the same time find a different source for our peace of mind about life and our safety and prosperity in general.
Can you give an example to (3)
This was absolutely the best TED talks ever to me. It made me cry and feel so much better. I always take everything personally which makes me feel so exhausted and hurt myself. Thanks for Fredrick for sharing this amazing strategy.
Hello Sooyesonlim,
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
I always take everything personally. It's tough.
A friend of mine said “do you wanna be right or do you wanna be happy” to me years ago and it’s the single greatest piece of advice I’ve ever had. There are still plenty of times when I have to be right over being happy but at least I’m more aware of it now when it’s happening!!!
I'm happy to read Tronlady that that friend of you told you this and it had such a big impact on you.
W friend
It always makes me happy when I'm right, win win.
14:49 . They don’t teach you this stuff. That’s such a great way of speaking up. Thank you Frederick
That is actually a quote from How I Met Your Mother
These 17 minutes have helped me understand my social anxiety more than I ever thought a video could. I now have a new process of thinking that I will apply to my every minute of life.
Hello Taylor Petrarca.
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@Wild Pixel genuinely great
@Wild Pixel obviously I’m still an anxious person, (I always will be) but I now have a new mindset when it comes to social situations. This video has given me new beliefs/tools to shift my anxious thoughts
*different
frankly i have some of these issues. especially for declining my invitation just to hangout with someone
Whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value. This sentence gets me.
"No matter what they do or say you always keep your value" now that right there was the biggest lesson learned!
Thank you for sharing this Becca!
When he said that we takes things personally cause of our ego, it really hit me. I don’t have a big ego but my self esteem wasn’t always the best. After I heard him say that I was like damn it really is all my inner ego
This guy deserves standing ovation.The intricacies of human psychology so beautifully explained...
Hello Satyashree!
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
And yet, when you stop to consider, the reason no ovation was given is because of the feelings of guilt in knowing we all do this every. single. day. It's an ego defense. Some may have been searching inward immediately and some may have not made it past their defensive reactions.
In any event, Frederik, you are a treasure to this world.
@@michaelwillette5837 Dear Michael, what a hartwarming message. Thank you so much. On top of that I really agree with the fact that people might have felt guilty or ashamed because of recognizing themselves in the ego part taking over. Good luck with your journey my friend Michael. Have a wonderful day, inspiring others.
@@frederikimbo You as well! Continue doing what you do please!!
I agreeeeee
"Whatever they do or say, you'll always keep your value." The best sentence I've ever heard today
edit: omg 747 likes? MOM IM FAMOUSS!!
Yoohoo! I'm happy I could give you that feeling.
I was waiting for that deep line
You might be famous now but you still have the same value 😛
tell your mom that it's now 1.2k. You're famous dude!
@@frederikimbo❤
Taking things personally= deeply rooted internal belief of a lack in self.
If I see someone laughing and looking at me I automatically assume there’s something wrong with my outfit, body, or odor lol. The root is that I genuinely didnt have confidence when I put my outfit on, or I haven’t been eating healthy and become insecure in my body, or I just got done running and didn’t have enough time to freshen up.
This was profound to me and I needed this talk, thank you!
This man needs more credit for how enthusiastic he's being during this whole thing, Good job.. Good job indeed...
Thank you Cra Foreal!
Hi Cra foreal,
Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Your message was amazing, life changing even, and I'm not sure why the crowd wasn't reacting more!
@@cringeworthybears5500 he is not taking it personally tho!
he's clearly talented in expression, would be a star in entertainment. I'd see his acts, if he ever tried it out.
These are lessons we need to learn in school. This would decrease fits, anxiety, and a lot more. 🥯
I think we all understand by now that Ted videos are so important for our daily lives and ourselves. This should be the foundation of what we should need to know and build the thinking habit about asking ourselves the questions constantly-- why we do things.
@@jenniferhebden-taylor9645 Unfortunately, now everybody is learning that we all live in the same circus.
TheNaishproductions Teachers shouldn't have a lot in their plates but instead, be guides and organizers of the process of learning and above all promoters of self-knowledge.
@@TheNaishproductions-tn3yb Not all families talk about things like that, and not every child has parents. I think it would be a good idea to teach children about that in school. It seems to be a key to communication. We need people who can communicate well because we invest a lot to teach people one subject well at university, so they can be experts to benefit our society. But what if they can not communicate and listen to the knowledge of others because their ego gets in the way, or they don‘t share their knowledge because others told them to shut up. Communication ist key, only then we can network and use the knowledge as a society. It is very important to take different perspectives into consideration and not play devils advocate all the time when it comes to complex questions of our time, like the future of our economic system. Would’t it be helpful to be able to learn from each other instead of feeling lectured, to be criticized and still feel motivated? I know this is not exactly what he is saying in his presentation, but I think it could help with that. Excuse my bad english skills
My English teacher actually makes us listen to TED talks a lot
My mom sent me this, I think it's some sort of personal attack
Generic Clips Channel 😂 thanks a lot mom! 😂
dont take it personally haha
Lol
That is hilarious! That is totally me. " why would she send that to me ' am I defensive? Man, this is so appropriate for us egocentric folks.
Perfect
Man. I’ve been looking for someone like you all my life to relate to so I didnt feel alone in how I felt. I always take things too personally. But watching this has genuinely changed my life. Thank you
I've been avoiding this video for over a year, and TH-cam is so patient, now I've watched it
And... was is worth waiting?
and you made watching this video also about you ... jk :P
@@famousdancerpage7314 hopefully he gets back to you
Same...
same lol
That end with the 20 euros was so strong. No matter what happens, people can spit you out and walk all over you, you will always keep your value
Hello NanoGalactic,
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
I couldn't agree more. Gad to goosebumps at the end. This is such a powerful, powerful talk!
@@frederikimbo It was amazing, thank you so much! Best TEDx talk I've seen.
Thia is the reality of life very true 👌👌👌👌👌
After today at work with a very unpleasant colleague that bought me to tears.
A very wise woman once said "people dont do things TO us, they do things FOR themselves"
Was that Joe Biden?
Theo Duval No it was the.. you know, the thing.
@@theoduval1408💖❤😘 🤢👍🏾🤢
Wish there was a love button!
I WONDER WHY THESE THINGS ARE NOT TAUGHT IN SCHOOL. EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE STARTS WITH AWARENESS. THANKS FOR THIS WONDERFUL TALK SIR.
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
You pop up on numerous comment sections elsewhere ...repeating the same marketing BS like an irritating fly that won't go away . Kindly buzz off and do something useful rather than misleading folk for money .
Being a very sensitive person, i get quickly affected by others opinions or acts. Thank you for teaching me the strategies to protect myself from others and to still find something to learn and improve myself without being hurt. THANK YOU SO MUCH. U opened my eyes and heart to be a better person with myself.
I am the exact same way, thank you for sharing. It is going to help me!
I too am the sensitive type 😥
Thank you so much for this amazing talk. For reminding us of our worth and our right to be here and live a full life loving ourselves.
This means alot to me because it made me feel less alone
thank you for making this comment 🙌 its great to know that im not alone
The crowd sucks... his speech is great, he’s funny, authentic. He deserved more recognition
You're taking it personally
@@GreyHeiji lol
Maybe they just did not like my style or message? It is not about me...
@@frederikimbo That was a great talk, Frederick. thank you. The great principles to live by. I needed it.
@@frederikimbo awesome video for real!
He seems like such a kind hearted person. I like him a lot. ❤️
Thank you!
Agreed 👍 great, inspiring speaker.
Thank you!
same. ❤️❤️
Same!!!
Yes, he would be great to have as an uncle or dad.
This talk makes me feel peace,it taught me how to percive my inner feelings and the skills to make me happy.
This explains so much about dealing with Rejection; criticism and lack of self esteem and respect thank you
True! Sadly true!
IKR, The best Tedx talk. Hope he reads this comment section to know How many people he helped. :)
If any of you know of other videos like this Tedtalk that deal with rejection, criticism and self esteem/respect issues, please share them :)
True also one of the best one
Despite the hardship, I made a lot from investment in Btc.
What a great speaker!! His tone, gestures, personality, and lesson are so engaging!
Thank you very much Ethan!
@@frederikimbo i like ur way to explain very nice😊keep it up
Don't waste your time praising him, he won't take it personally. 😉
Ethan Zane and I like to add, his accent 🥰
Yea absolutely ryt
TH-cam : recommends that
Me : taking it personally
take it as a sign lol
Lol
Hahaha
😂
😂😂😂😂😂😂
You take things personally when it touches a raw nerve ......... So very true. Thankyou for enlightening me on the importance of handling things with care. Not just for me but for everyone around me.
Hello
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
“Look at the other person’s intention”…..so powerful👏🏽It’s so important to realize that a person’s character is who they are WAY before you met them. You have to find a way to not change your character based on their actions. Great discussion Frederik!
Thank you Talisha!
But now I’m trying to move on without ever knowing their intentions, it was so vague 😩
@@EmilyRose1 this
@@EmilyRose1 honestly just look at it this way: there was a reason they were vague. it has nothing to do with you. and even if it did, do you want someone like that in ur life?
Facts
His method of delivery is one of the best I've witnessed especially on such a difficult topic. This desperately needs to be taught in schools.
Hello James!
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
I came across your Ted Talk Frederick at a time in my life when I desperately needed to hear something like this. You put it so clearly and already I am going to start following your advice. I thank you so very much.
@@sallyblaauw1183 With pleasure! Thank you so much for your gentle message.
This is the stuff of a memorable school assembly.
@@TiffanySoulbird Thank you!
I really appreciate how he's honest that these things hurt sometimes more than others.
I want to be open about myself in the hopes that others open themselves as well and reflect about themselves.
IVE NEVER CONNECTED SO MUCH TO HIS WORDS. It is so reassuring that there's people out there who have experienced the same challenges as me and are able to rise up higher than before. This speech is a huge encouragement for me to continue pushing and build upon myself as a person and my relationships with others. Thank you Frederik!!!!!!!
last sentence made me cry. We don’t want to show we are vulnerable just to protect our ego. But actually no matter how hurt you are mentally, you are still you, you still has the same exact value
Hello!
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
The tough thing in life is the most worn out toy is the children favorite .it is the toy we keep and love
"we suffer far more by our imagination than ever in reality" -Seneca
Very very true, those wise words!
It's insecurity not imagination
@@aspirina4915 correcting Seneca? I prefer to quietly digress lol. Wish you blessings under the Bodhi fellow traveler.
Kids in Africa wouldn't agree. People fighting in Vietnam wouldn't agree.
Whatever humans are suffering, everything are just thoughts.
This is so me. My life is so miserable because of my thoughts. I am too much concerned about other people's opinions about me. Even if they don't talk about me, there are a lot of thoughts in my mind .Thank you for this talk. I am going to work on this .
Good luck!! Im struggling right alongside you! Youre never alone 💖
Hello
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
Same here
Hey! I think you need to search for spotlight effect. If youre aware of this effect, I think it can help ease the pressure
Mines not their opinions so much, it’s the nerve of them to talk down to me without considering how i feel
What a powerful speech and its timeless. Remind me whenever you watch this
When you are confident in life and when you understand your flaws and strengths. No criticism will bother you, no appreciation will make you excited. You become free of the influence that other people have on you.
True! True! True!
Do you really think you can get to a place where no other human influences you? How perfect you’d be
There are so many people lacking that confident with out thyre deed , its all related to thyre childhood , and the confident is kind of forbidden to them, it’s really hard to get back to the root and chnge all , and again comeback
@@vineeth6526definitely
This would be a great presentation for children before entering highschool.
Well Butterfly, please share it with all the teachers you know at highschool.
That's a really good point, you're very smart
@@frederikimbo8767 Much Love from Israel❤
I100% agree. If I had this before H.S, it would have been a great experience.
Yeah totally it’d become a *raw* part of their personality and mindset
I have been struggling with self doubt for a long time, but this make me tear up and feel better. Thank you.
Me wondering if he was upset that not many laughed. Then I remember he’s probably good at not taking things personally.
Hi Lizette. Luckily I did not expect them to really react a lot. So, I did not take it personally. Secondly, the reactions were not really recorded.
@@frederikimbo woah i thought it'll be a fake account😂
Amazing ted talk👍
@@frederikimbo hey just wanted to thank you for the knowledge !
@@frederikimbo I love that this video has 5 million views, and yet you still reply to comments. You're awesome!
Lol you got lyrics
The pastors at my church call this strategy “generous assumptions”- assuming the best of someone, thinking of alternative reasons why they may have done something rather than assuming the worst. Super helpful.
Very interesting and inspiring Sarah!
Till you meet a narcissistic person who takes advantage of this.
it is somehow encouraging the negative's way of doing things like they normally do, isn't it?
@@sangto5385 There are two things. Seeing the positive intention behind someone's behavior is the strategy to no longer taking things personally. This does not mean that you have to passively agree with what they do. Thus the second things is how you react on this. Speak up and let the other one know what you feel and need. Do this out of the intention to connect with the other and not out of the intention of wanting tot punish the other one.
Careful there, you may end up being a " doormat " to people. It's nice and okay to be considerate but be aware of people wanting to take advantage of your kindness. Some people are just bad do the bone and don't seek change no matter how much good you're trying to see in them. You might die trying.
This guy is so real and tried so hard to make his experience understandable to all of us😇😇
Hi Hemant Prasad.
Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
Yes, he succeeded with ease. ChesfromOz
@@frederikimbo OMG it's you thank you so much. Honestly, I am a person who takes everything personally and I was looking for these kinds of videos or movies or anything that can teach me how not to take it personally. Thank you so much. I am on youtube for a long time and I watched so many different things but I can say this is the biggest lesson I have ever learned. I will practice every minute to lesson this method.
mastering these strategies are the real challenge. and whomever does that it's literally The BIGGEST PEACE OF MIND❤
This man is wonderful. There is a big lesson here for our society.
Thank you Shimarah!
Your doggo is so cute kissies to him
People should watch this kind of presentation when they are young. We would not have a bunch of frustraded people in the world nowadays.
Hi Eberton.
Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo thanks Frederik very inspiring just keep moving right
Oh definitely!!!
People need to go live in other countries to learn basic social intelligence.
Agree, and I use this presentation as "top ups" when the world goes whacky around me . ChesfromOz
"The man who is tolerant enough to ignore people can literally change the world, this applies on you too my friend
Thank you for these loving words Altaf.
@Autumn Sky right
bro I ignore all human and they ignore me so does that mean Im qualified for a seat on the world tour? Holding presentations for how to ignore people, all around world...sounds pretty nice
@@TheInsaneHardstyle haha!
But then there´s that man tolerant enough to ignore people that can change the world. In most cases change not for the mans better. I see a lot of those men around these days and it scares me
This whole ted talk was an absolute masterpiece. I don't think there is anyone better who could have told this. As an ethnic, when I was a child I always struggled with my adaptation in the society, as people with low iq are really harsh with my kind of people, even though I have a good education and I don't do any trouble. So when I first saw this I can say it changed my life, my perception of every situation that I've been through or I will. It is so much easier now to not be offended and just being peaceful and minding my own business.
I was a former security guard, and I've learnt what he learned as a referee...
When people are being rude, it's not me, it's my security company clothes.
Hi! I'm happy to read that my experience as a referee resonates with your history of a security guard. Indeed; it's our uniform they are angry about.
😂😂😂😂
Lol
The company took that personally.. lol
Yeah you're just a representation of them not getting what they want and that's why they're angry
The most useful 17 minutes of my life! “Keep your value”
This entire speech hit hard and got me into tears🥺❤️
Hello Tia,
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbothank you for this Ted talk! I'm in my lowest right now and really needed this!
nah man his intensity is making me angry
Just watching this gave me a sense of peace. As in I literally felt all the tension leaving my body and I started giggling like a mad lad. Never realized how much my ego controlled my thoughts until now. Very insightful video and the speaker seemed very genuine and kind. I like his energy
Hello Garrett,
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
That is exactly how I felt!
U is me & I am u dear ,u just expressed me better!!! Thanks
I think our ego self is really just our inner child. Somebody pure and innocent who just wants to get his or her needs met..just my personal two cents
@@aywancfc I like that..
This guy is so wholesome, his public speaking abilities are remarkable. Love you Fred!!
Hello Summer Mackay!
Thank you for both watching my Tedx talk and sending me this kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank you for taking the time to write me this wonderful message!! I appreciate it, I’ve already shown this video to a number of friends and family. I use your advice daily and it has inspired me to make a change and become a better person. Thank you again. ❤️
The 20 euros lesson at the end was such a powerful message!
till you add COVID-19 to the lesson
Zimmer Frey Look up the word “metaphor”
@@calvinwon5113 not to take personally the covid. It was a joke.
Agreed but the only thing that bothers me is what if he goes one step further and tear it apart
@@calvinwon5113 topic of Talk, How not to take things personal . You FAIL. go ahead and Google JOKE.. In tough times like these , its a must to laugh . try and find your happy spot buddy. namaste
I love his personality and temperament! He seems very kind and engaging in a very authentic sense.
Hello Kpaxian!
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you and that you liked my personality and temperament. What a nice message to receive. Wow.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
what is his accent?
Yeah, but was it me or you'll too felt that the audience wasn't that responsive to this amazing speaker. He was being so good out there trying to engage with the audience. But still no one clapped nor responded. Felt bad. Idk why but I kinda took that personally 🙃
@@frederikimbo I really enjoyed your talk! Thank you. You are an amazing speaker and a kind person.
one of the best ted talks I've heard yet one of the most dull audiences ever. kudos to Mechelen for carrying the show so gracefully !
I was feeling a bit down for this past few weeks because people started ignoring me, but I clicked on this video and it showed me peace. I should never take it personally. To think about it I am a boring person after all and it's my fault. But that isn't the case, as the 2nd strategy said: It is about me, give yourself empathy, and speak up. It showed me that I should assess the problem without ever blaming others. Open up your heart, speak up to the people who ignore you and ask, and break out of your shell. And at the last part of the quote that Mr. Frederik spoke "whatever you do or say, you will always know your worth" and it opened my eyes to so many things, gave my heart peace and a clear state of mind. Thank you TED and Mr.Frederik on this short talk, I am truly grateful
Hi Jayden. Your openness touches me. Thank you for sharing what you feel. I really hope you can put all the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo I will gladly do that, thank you
@@frederikimbo Hi Frederik. I just read Jayden's story above and I questioned myself. What if he's a really boring person? I mean, what if he's in a group of people and then he starts talking and it's super boring, he doesn't know about the topic, he tries to invent things just to participate but in reality he doesn't know anything. I'm not talking about Jayden here, I'm just using his case as an example. Should he rethink about what is he doing wrong to make people bored or go away and think that might be people's problem?
@@henrique83747 I think the reality is happiness at the end of the day. If he is happy being boring and not learn to many topics than he is speaking his own truth and happiest with less going on in his mind. If he is not happy and wants to learn more and be more interesting... Than he needs to make that a priority for his own happiness ... Not for anyone else. People want to be around happy people... Not necessarily know-it-all people. Its their happiness they are attracted to... Not factual information.
Hey, this video is really inspiring. I must say I was never good enough for my mother, to any tiny thing I did there was some fault, rarely did I receive a compliment. To top it off mother's relations are of all same manner, except a very few. I try my level best to keep my distance from them, since school I was second in class, was been compared to my best friend who went to same classes, who was class first. I made to university, and graduated and now relations compare my salary with their own children's salaries. I don't care what they say, I cared as long as I had allocated a place for them as people who are mine, but know they are strangers, when strangers scold or laugh at you, we feel less. I m happy in my life for who I m and if people cant tolerate me, I don't mind them distancing themselves from me. Life is short, best live it happy, than live life as to abid by someone else's say. When I ask my mother why she scold me, its too make me a perfect person, and prevent me from getting scolded by society. I love my mother, she has done so much for me yet in morning I try to keep my distance, and prevent from getting into a heated argument, and spoiling the day, and a chain of anger cycles that revolve.
What a way to end this presentation! Anybody and everybody reading this You are valuable You are worthy and powerful
Hi Eric.
Thank you very much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you, especially my last line.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank You Frederik for the response and encouraging words too I have already shared this with some close friends... On another note if you do not respond to this message it's ok I know not to take it personally Lol!
@@frederikimbo thank you for your speech! Now I know, I'm not along!🙏
Thank you for a reminder, yes! you too. Chesfromoz
You are worthy, valuable, and powerful too.
"you will always keep your value no matter wat they do" thats so true
Sure doesn't feel like it, though.
The way Hidden Time Wealth dives into the concept of productivity is mind-blowing. Hidden Time Wealth tips are pure gold, and I wish more people knew about them.
Best 17 minutes to watch. The way he was speaking and explaining, his gesture, expression all of it was very captivating. I didn’t realise how time passed. The speech was very beautiful.
Hello Mienarvaa!
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo Thank you for your nice words sir. Yeah,I liked your last sentence. And I have already shared it with my friends.
@@mshooky1305 Thank you!
When someone is in front of me driving at 10 miles per hour and I can't over-take because they're blocking the whole road, instead of getting furious, I feel grateful and tell myself they're protecting me from a road accident which might be occurring ahead of us. Works every time.
Or create one..
Nice attitude Mars! And inspiring for so many others who are not yet there, like me. Thank you.
I'm going to try this
Is not just about your attitude but would say is quite surprise thought
.In my point of view is a mindset behaviour that matters mainly ;) still like that.
Yeah, until you get rear ended because they are doing 10mph in a 50mph zone...
Dear Frederik,
This is one of the best TED Talks I have ever watched! I would have loved to sit down and chat to you, because you are an inspiration of something that I have been stuggling with all my life. Thank you for this TED!
Same
Well said - right on - one of the best given lessons - ever! Thank you Frederik!
he wont take u personally
I agree!
@@yahyeed6717 I do take it personally with a lot of pleasure this time.
I have been taking some things personally lately and it's been worsening my depression and anxiety. This video was exactly what I needed. Having that mindset shift and being able to look at situations outside of my ego helps so much in processing my feelings and worries.
For someone like me who's been attacked by cold people including many of my classmates,people who I use to call friends,relatives and even parents,who's always treated me bad,ignored and made me feel left out all my life,I know all of these feelings very very well and when I chose to become vulnerable and people still don't understand me and instead makes me feel like my struggle's nothing, your words"Keep your value up" made my day!!Thank you!♥️
Hello Sidharth,
Thank you for your kind note! I'm glad you liked the end of my TEDx talk with the 20 Euro bill and the fact that your value always remains the same no matter what people do or say to you. So thanks for watching until the end!
I wish you good luck in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and will give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's okay. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
Hi Sid, I am going through a similar situation. I hope you are doing better.
I see you my friend. Thank you for sharing it here. It happened to me when I was teenager and later on too.
I had deep trust issues but I can tell you now being on the other side - it gets better the older you get. Learn about nonviolent communication, I also recommend a short guide to process intense emotions "What's making you angry".
It can transform your state within minutes (it's unreal and I'm not paid to say it).
Absolutely changed my life for better. So much peace and no more abuse. These books teach you how to deal with unaware people. They usually don't realise they are hurting others and you as a more aware human can totally change your life (and maybe theirs one day).
Keep going my friend, there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it's enough for everyone 🙏
You are not alone..my life is same
I can understand you ,the cold people never gonna understand u, the family those who conditioned in you never understand you , they may undervalue your struggles , they may say it’s all not even a struggle ❤
People commenting about the lack of laughter - I think this is down to the fact that we can all resonate with this so they're focussing on what he's saying trying to learn something!
The audience was quite quiet indeed. That is because hardly any sound was recorded from the reactions in the room. As a result, some reactions were added afterwards in the editing.
The silent audience makes many suspect that they didn't find it interesting ... And you know, that's possible. Or they didn't like my style, or they were tired, or... or...
Anyway; whatever the reason was, luckily I didn't take that personally :-)
@@frederikimbo I appreciate this and I think your style works well with delivering the message. I have learnt a useful skill from this which I can use in real life situations.... I hope over time with enough practice it will be a natural thing for me to not take things personally! Thank you
@@frederikimboThanks for this. Lifted a huge weight off my shoulders :)
A hushed audience is a rapt audience, absorbing every word
Probably a culture shock.
NAs are used to clapping and cheering at everything, so I'm curious if anyone outside of the US is bothered by the audience.
even if they laugh at you, it's not about you they are just boosting their ego and think they are more cool than others
Very true Riadh.
@@frederikimbo Thank you sir.
Well sometimes it's really about you
Narcissistic people like to bring others down because they can’t handle their own problems and are afraid to comfort them and deal them. Sadly that’s a massive issue in society
The talk was good
The ending.... *legendary*
Hi Smashing Dan!
Thank you so much for your smashing message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
I've gotta admit. Feels sort of surreal to imagine the maker of this vid typing reactions to comments here. I wish you well in your endeavours mr Imbo
@@frederikimbo You have a good spirit Frederik, never let it go.
Frederik Imbo I like when you ate the money
I completely agree! I was so blown away by the ending and I have already shared this talk with my close friends and all of my Facebook friends. Thank you @frederik Imbo for such an insightful talk! I really needed it today and it reminds me exactly of the strategies I was was looking for! xo
06:50 - It’s not about me. (Look at the other person’s intention.)
08:00 - Shift your focus from “me” to “we.”
12:10 - It IS about me. (Is there some truth in it?)
14:24 - Give yourself some empathy.
14:43 - Speak up.
15:15 - Summary.
Good summary. Thanks.
Thank you
Thank you!
Thank you lots!
Cảm ơn nhiều. Tóm tắt tuyệt vời!
"Not to take things personally" is the most difficult and valuable lesson to learn in life. When we feel we are able to do that at least in some situations during a day, it feels so good... That requires training and we aren't never prepared enough. Continuous training....
That's why a sense of humour is important. It makes life easier.
So true...
Indeed Maria Carolina! I'm cheering you on.
Insightful wisdom 🤗 So true! I have value no matter what people do or say 💕 I believe each person is valuable & has a story to share and lessons to teach each other. God Bless 💕 👼🌟🙏
The speaker himself genuinely taking time to interact with all pouring in words, the talk so needed for generation on and to come by. 👏
I feel like this is the number one cause that ruined my friendships, my social skills, my friendliness, my self-confidence, and my likability as a whole. Thank you Mister Frederik for the talk. I know this will help.
Hello uncle Gardener.
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable to you.
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo You’re right. It is quite frustrating to make a change but I’m sure I will be proud of myself in the future. Thanks again. 😄
I love how much energy he puts on his body and facial expressions. Really great job in the presentation!
A sportsman
Thank you for your compliment Rahmani!
Frederik Imbo I definitely agree!! It was absolutely enjoyable and pleasant listening and watching your presentation! Amazing job
@@frederikimbo loved your presentation sir
"But remember: whatever they do or say, you will always keep your value." Just wow
I tell u, that 20 Euro lesson, sums it all up, great talk Mr. Frederik
Peace of mind is what i value
@@charmpants707
A
exactly Diana!
Who can take it ? I find it hard to believe someone would. No offense. Have I not learned the moral of the speech ?
1) it's not about me, it's just he is trying to clarify the message.
2) it's about me, I deserve this. No way. Can't be.
3) it's odd to take it. Not familiar. Against tradition. So I won't.
4) usually bad guys attack by those acts. Are angry when they squash things. It's conformity to tough sad negative memory.
5) he's not serious about giving it to anyone in the first place. Oh thank you, at last I'm comfortable again.
One of the best TED Talks ever!
I have watched this again after 3 years and I can literally feel the power as I remember all the times I tried not to take things personally, using this strategy and trust me it feels empowering!!!
Hi Hitanshi! Thank you for sharing me this. I'm super happy that this works for you!
I wish you much success in putting the insights and tips into practice. Sometimes it will work and give you a sense of peace and victory over yourself. At other times it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Then be gentle with yourself and most of all be proud of the progress you are making. I encourage you!
Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
How awesome! It gives me hope because I couldn't master the technique :P still too much ego! Congrats to you 🥰
A powerful summary of an impactful strategy.
Remember: They might crush you, criticize you, spit you out or walk all over you, remember to keep your value. Thank you sir for this great lesson
That's the spirit Vignesh Waran! Please share the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with themselves and others.
From the bottom of my heart,
Frederik Imbo
I was literally going to post the same thing. I agree completely.
"You will always keep your value." 💗
Such a sweet person. He’s such a lovely, amiable speaker.
Hi ,
Thank you so much for your kind message. I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
@@frederikimbo8767 Thank you so much for your response!
I’ve been putting this into practice at my job and sharing it with my coworkers. It’s made the day go by much easier than before. I feel the same way sometimes getting frustrated even when I try not to take it personally, but you’ve been a huge help 💕
And yes he is clearly speaking from experience where he has been under-valued/exploited etc in this life. But people like him, they find true love in this world.
The real
No Actually he's a very selfish person. (Don't take it personally Frederik! :P )
very inspring to me as somenoe who always overthinks and takes things way too personally. watching this vid taught me a lesson about not prioritizing my feelings over the actual facts when things trigger my nerves.
The vulnerability in him is purely astonishing. I feel like being more vulnerable by being in a safe environment like with my trustworthy friends, and I’d get so closed off by being with my parents who ignore, invalidate, and look down on my vulnerabilities. I wished I could be as brave as him to be vulnerable in front of everyone.
Hi Sherry, I find it quiet strong of you to be so vulnerable and share this on this platform.
I'm glad to read that watching my TEDx talk was valuable for you.
I wish you good luck putting the insights and tips in practice. Sometimes it will work and it will give you a feeling of peace and victory over yourself. On other moments, it will be less easy and frustrating. That's ok. Be gentle with yourself then and above all, be proud on the progress that you're making. I’m cheering you on!
Please spread the TEDx talk with your friends and colleagues. The more people I can reach, the more people will live in harmony with theirselves and others.
Warmly,
Frederik Imbo
@@frederikimbo omg thank you sooo much Frederik!! It’s such a nice surprise to see you actually replying me! You’re the first person who replied me here and I appreciate it very much. Your video was so powerful to watched and it had brought me confidence and peace. This video will def be passing along to some of my friends who I knew needs help too!
That’s bc he doesn’t take it personally
you can if you learn to validate yourself. Tell yourself how well you did some particular action - even write yourself a loving comment and stick it on your mirror. I tell my clients that "I haven't done it yet but maybe I actually can!"
is way better than "I cant do this, it is too hard." Perception is everything.
Remember that You created the so-called bad guy who might do you harm - he is not real - you created him/her Turn him/her into a good guy. If you can do a negative, you can ALSO DO A POSITIVE.