When Are You Insecure?
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 6 ก.ย. 2024
- Check out Dr. K's Guide to Mental Health: bit.ly/3ESAerp
Full video: • Fixing Male Insecuriti...
Our Healthy Gamer Coaches have transformed over 10,000 lives. Be the next success story: bit.ly/3yK93vH
Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation
with 150+ video chapters in a Final Fantasy-inspired skilltree: bit.ly/3GaubzI
#shorts #drk #mentalhealth
Oh, look, I've just been called out.
Emotional damage . . .
Ye, hit the nail on the head
@@chris1549 it’s not about the nail!
After watching him for a while I didn't think he'll talk about me 😭😭
@@wildfire9280Dude . . . 😁
We all do that, people around you pretending as well
I do.
Don't worry man ❤
I did this exact scenario, worked in secret for years and years and failed. Fixing insecurities is only possibly from the inside out, not the other way around. Personal growth is a never ending mind game.
Outside in?
@@nowonmetube Yeah I think they meant outside in, though it's so abstract you could probably describe how either works.
@@nowonmetube Inside Out :)
So what is the solution?
@@fahimshahriar2441
Just do it.
Face the awful "patheticism" of you improving. Of you not being a perfect human being. Of you facing the shame of not living up to this self imposed expectation you've placed on yourself.
Do not be afraid to ask for help. Your humility is your integrity.
Never have I ever felt so exposed 😂😂
Relatable
I now know why those people talk that way " omg, I did not even study"
I've started to say "I don't care if I am embarrassing" or "I don't get embarrassed" ... And it's an instant emotional relief
I've been yelled at and punished for the most minute of mistakes as a kid. When I learned to ride a bike and fell, my father would scream at me.
Allowing myself to be bad at something I am just starting out at is incredibly difficult.
It's helped me to specifically say the opposite of what my parents said to me (including what they said nonverbally like with spanking instead of teaching).
"Everyone deserves to time to learn from their mistakes, and I am part of everyone" would be one of my go to statements.
It's better if you have someone around to help you come up with other ways to phrase it, try out different concepts, but you can get pretty far more or less by yourself.
When making mistakes was dangerous 🥲 ... for me it helps to stop for a moment and go like ''Am I hurt? No. Anyone else hurt? No. Can I fix it now? Is it important to fix it now?'' ... it's not the end of the world. I'm safe. No danger. ... but it's still a long process lol
Being bad at something is the first step toward being good at something
SAME. It got to the point that I started hiding all infections and wounds from my parents (still being a small kid), which caused so many problems for me. And even as an adult I couldn't ask for help with my drug addiction and diceded that I would rather overdose and die... Thankfully they found out on their own and saved me
@@nananoname3089 It wasn't me getting in dangerous situations. It was me not being good at something as soon as I picked it up. "It's not so hard. Why can't you just do it right?", "Stop doing it wrong you idiot!", etc...
Can relate to this so much, I grew up being the perfect child, student, when I started something I was doing it effortlessly and given so much attention because of it. Now I'm insecure even studying and working everyday in what I do bcz of fear of disappointing the people around me 😢
Just a personal opinion . . . Maybe learn to let go of that perception by realizing your "perfection" isn't the thing about you that holds value.
But, general things about you are what people appreciate, like your kindness, sense of humor, and friendship, for example.
Because the people in your life that truly care about you. I'm pretty sure they don't have conditions or expectations for loving you, outside of you just being a good person.
That's a common experience among gifted children growing up. I feel the same for the most part and too many people can't realize how bad it feels because "you understand things very fast" or "you have so much potential", "if only you made more effort", stuff like that.
It's OK to be not OK
❤
@@MechaStorm7
We are intellectual sprinters.
People tell you: if you just run a marathon the same way as you running 100 meters, you would be a champion.
No you don't, because it is impossible.
Just accept that your brain works better than others to some degree, and it has its limitations and special needs, it is not magic as they think.
Some stuff will be very hard for you and easy for others. It is normal.
Just give less f*ucks about those people. They are also busy trying to impress other people.
“Don’t trust a perfect person” - Tyler Joseph
Also, don't trust a song that's flawless
@@oheeibnhamid like bc it's copywritten? I'm so interested lol
@@MrZAPPER1000 Tyler said that because in the industry it seems to him that singles on the radio are currency and his creativity's only free when he's playing shows.
But good guess tho!
Cool! Thx
Will be they alive tomorrow?
Watching Dr. K is so healing
I did the gym in secret thing! It helped a lot because I had a hard time “being perceived” in public- not looking like I didn’t know what I was doing. Very weird, I know. I can’t stress how helpful it was for me to prove to MYSELF that I could exercise. I entered the gym for the first time and I was scared of the machines. So I would use dumbbells, go home, and look up tutorials on using the machines. So then I used dumbbells and machines, but I was scared of the barbell because it was so bulky to move. So I worked my minimum lifts to 45 lbs, went in when nobody was in the gym, and practiced hip thrusts with just the bar. This iterative approach was helpful in overcoming this anxiety of people looking at me while working out. I got shredded very quickly because I was already so lean.
I do wish I knew that the people in the gym will practically do anything possible to *not* look at you. We’re all wearing headphones. We focus our gaze away from other people. Nobody cares what you’re doing and the people that may say something are actually the sweetest people. Maybe they’re just going to ask when your last set is or offer advice on form. Everyone is there for their own self growth. I’m just happy people are in there, period. 😊
Actually? Watching videos beforehand to prep you on how to use those machines is actually perfectly reasonable my dude.
Aside from the shame of watching YT videos on how to use it right there and then, I actually think what you did was more wiser in this scenario because you'd want to already know how to use those machines when you come in instead of wasting time when you're there.
@@therabbidt it helped a ton for sure
So awesome 😊✨️ Congratulations 🥳😃
One thing I’ve learned to overcome insecurities is being unashamed of them. Being unapologetic loud of you working on those insecurities. Being authentically excited to work hard on them and ask questions. And oftentimes then not, that’s hella attractive in the sense that not many ppl r like that. Many ppl are too afraid to admit stuff like this, so authenticity and the desire to learn and grow is admirable. Naturally, you will attract like minded ppl. With the example from the video, let’s say you’re working out to work on your appearance. When I started being loud about going to the gym, asking ppl questions, not being scared of it, I met new ppl, created a community that keeps me accountable to reach my goals and if I have questions, they’re more than excited to give advice, and we all bounce off of each other’s excitement and encouragement.
You know what? Both being open to improving yourself and being a harsh judge of yourself aren't mutually exclusive. The first can come by logic, rather than self acceptance, while the other by trauma. For me, accepting that we are, to put it crudely, talking animals rather than something more helps a lot.
Its getting past that perception on caring too much on what others think and also accepting some degree of assertiveness thats really made me stop worrying so much on whatever people think.
Hello, thanks for sharing your view, but what did you mean by 'accepting some degree of assertiveness'?
Recntly I was diagnosed with ADHD, for most of my life I've always struggled to keep with things and would always quit early once i wasn't being stimulated anymore. Because of all the times ive quit, ive gotten the impression from my friends and family that, anytime i tell them im starting something new, they just think I'll fail and quit anyways... and i cant even blame them either. Which is why i keep it all to myself when i am trying new things in life
I hear you!!
same, but I'm trying to stick with what I've started, which is art I have been practicing since the beginning of 2024, it is still garbage and it feels like I'm not improving at all but I can't drop it.
me too! i been this way for the longest of time.
That's so true about trying to do these things in secret. The big problem with that is, because so many people do it, we all think we're the only ones that do it! Because so many people keep their insecurities secret, we all think that those other people aren't feeling how we're feeling and doing what we're doing, but they are! They're just hiding it in the exact same way so you don't notice. Meanwhile, they're looking at you thinking exactly what you're thinking looking at them.
You are so funny, and that makes your information hit so much harder. When you feel playful and feel you’re in a safe environment to be silly, very often people are able to open up more and are more receptive because they are having FUN and feel safe. Love you and the team’s channel(s) and work. Would love to talk about a mental health company doing great things right now and how they could potentially help you and your team!
I'm a standup (and artist, and love to yo-yo), and embracing loving something before loving my level of skill has only made me cherish sharing that when people say "oh im bad at that" before they learn. The satisfaction of growth is so good for everything related and otherwise.
The white girl voice he does kills me every time 😂
I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THIS.
yup, ive noticed that the times ive been less around people who comment on me, ive been less insecure. and the comments arent even always about my image, but i still care more about my image because im around people i know are judgy
its so obvious but in environments where i am performing instead of naturally acting, i feel worse about myself, which is why i try to avoid those environments
another funny thing i’ve noticed is that i actually dont care most of the time, and after ive been insecure, i just go back to life
So basically let go of judgemental people
I've never felt this attacked my whole life 😭
That was personal
It’s the current struggle I have at my new job. They want me to ask questions constantly, but I’d rather try and figure it out myself. They’ve brought it up to me directly, so I have no choice now but to hassle the guy who’s “training” me even though I know I’m annoying the hell out of him.
it's better for the company. rather than you spending hours, your mentor can teach you in an hour. saves money.
I'm the trainer at my job, and I have the opposite side of this struggle. Nobody wants to ask questions, they'd rather struggle and make the entire shift worse for everyone than ask me a question that I could answer in 30 seconds flat. Most people get over it eventually, when they realize I do not expect them to know what they're doing, even a little bit. When they sit there and struggle, I make a mental note that they're way too independent, and we may need to keep a closer eye on them, or they're going to do something to get themselves fired, because they didn't want to ask.
The people who don't get over it get canned.
It's so hard for perfectionists to ask questions, asking a "dumb" question can be crippling. I'm now practicing asking questions, it takes so much reassurance from myself afterwards
@@k.neyoni I don’t think I was a perfectionist before I went through my bachelors program (engineering). I would lock myself up before exams and study like a madman. Even if I got a lower grade, I still got the reward sensation of accomplishment that I did it on my own. When most professors/coworkers answer “dumb” questions, they’re not kind about it, they tear you a new ahole lol I’m learning to have a thicker skin about it.
Love you ❤
You are amazing person capable of so many things.
Glad I live in the internet time when I have a luxury to communicate with such a great people, even if this is one way communication as watching shorts.
Thanks for sharing.
This is me to a t and I've always been like this. During college and university, I'd rarely ask for help and I'd even hide my mistakes from my tutors when they came to check on my progress and tell them I'm doing fine. I would be ok with asking them outside of class though. No wonder why I had an issue with imposter syndrome
I finally started doing more things I'm bad at. Like the dance class... Had no idea what to do, felt completely lost. But after 10 times I started to get the hang of it. I've done hilarious mistakes, everyone were laughing including me. If I take my mistakes easy, then my partners will also feel better.
I legitimately never knew this was such a big issue.
Welp you just called out my life strategy to me - thanks! Glad you put it the way you did.
I managed to overcome this (at least for most cases). If I'm starting to feel insecure because of appearance or lack of skill, I'm telling myself "After all we all gonna die, so don't waste time worrying about it" :-)
When you spend your whole life being almost perfect in certain areas, it's extremely difficult to accept yourself making mistakes, even when you're forced to see yourself making mistakes.
Mind blowing. So simple yet mental Nagasaki. Being aware of our brain is so tricky because all we do is feel and rarely know why or when.
'Hell is other people' - Jean Paul Sartre
Thanks again man I love your videos!
Damn this one was really hits home. I do art and never post any work in progress because I'm afraid it looks bad. or they will know im not that good.
im too lazy to do anyhting before because i now im naturally gifted and can improvise in any situation
I usually don't feel insecure about many things. Sometimes I'll panic while talking though. No idea why. Not sure how to practice it.
I see, i need to get rid of other people. Thank you doctor k!
Bro's crit rate is over 100%
I'm insecure and pick myself apart when I'm by myself, too.
This psychiatrist is an amazing teacher
Amy an RN
Solution, never have other people involved.
Haha, I love how Dr. K gets more comfortable showing his funny, roast-ey side :)
Something unrelated: Does anyone know when his stream where he reacts to pickup artists will be? I CAN'T miss that!
ive been called out lmaoooooo
I feel attacked. He was talking to me
We are herd animals so it is nearly impossible to not be affected by what others think of you. But if you have an authentic self, its much more stable. If we dont care at all we are not human
"Stop giving a fuck" Mark Manson
Embrace that you are bad at it, embrace the shame you feel about it, and choose to either make a change, or to let it be. Either way, try to not give a damn fuck
We're all a mess 😫😂😂
You didn't have to expose me like that infront of the world
"People want to be effortlessly brilliant."
This is the problem with people in modern times. Maybe it's been like this longer than I think, but social media isn't the only thing wrong with the modern climate. People changed pretty recently.
I do this but nothing is ever enough for me to show up in front off other people 💀
😭😭😭😭I love this
Nice to know me and Dr. K are the same type of insecure 😅. Though I'd never bluff, I'd straight up tell folks I practiced in secret.
Ofc ppl feel insecured bc of other people. Deep down humans are so judgmental. And depending on their influence, their perceive of us are capable of determining our placement in society. That’s if we wish for ourselves to be included in or dependent on it.
Judgmental- true. But 99% of the time, people around you aren’t doing that to you. The ones that are, are A:Insecure people themselves wanting to put someone down, and B:People you already don’t want to associate with.
Oh shit!! This is so real
This practicing in secret seems to only work before job interviews
The more I watch this type of content the worse I feel about myself
Nah Dr. K you are Handsome af.
I'm memorising English vocabularies however due to brain fog its difficult to study for long term memory 😭😢
Im telling you guys. Forget Dr.Huberman. Listen to this.
And to all those people who want to work out 3-4 weeks before going to the gym to not look pathetic I have good news! I have been going for 8 months and still look pathetic! This is just a hurdle you need to get over.
Not really. I have no issues with trying something new in public / openly / ...
I'm insecure when ... I don't know how to phrase this.
...
It's not about trying something new. More about trying something again when I was bashed and laughed at for all previous tries.
And when you can't just try again, because when you don't succeed, you can't repeat.
I do practice in secret but after it i own up to it if it worked out. I think the only reason i do this in secret is because i don't want to start from ground zero? If it does work out i can comfortably show it, if not, nobody's gonna give me crap later about things i decided to let go and i'm safe from confrontations i avoid. Is it a bad thing?
For me it is "I want to learn to speak a new language, but because I'm so bad at it, I'll only start practicing actually *speaking* it after I can already speak it at least half decent."
True actually
True, what’s the solution?
Can't relate. Did everything in "secret", gained much better results because I didn't worry what others thought of me
Agree, never go to gym and save my time, money and self esteem by training at home with kettlebells.
this guy is a vibe hahahhahaa
I hope you don’t feel insecure about spelling insecurities wrong. -From my wife
Waiting for a video with the title 'why are you gay?'
What does it mean if im insecure when i cant see my appearance?
Some time ago I've read an article about How to use boking (jumping stilts acrobatic sports) to deliver a major defeat vs insecurity. You get the stilts, you go out to the street and you try to stand on them and fall, and then you cling to a street light pilar just to stand up. This looks weird and somewhat pathetic, and you do it right on the street. But then you are able to stand, to walk. to run and jump and you get lots of attention when you jump through city strets on stilts all dressed in stuntman armor. And people give you attention, they laugh or get shocked or smile or ask you where did you buy those things. And you should answer. speak and tell how and why this is cool, what muscles are used, what does it to to posture and stamina. And believe me, when you are able to jump from your local administration building's porch onto city sware never caring about shouting guards - you are winning vs insecurity. I tried all of it, and it works.
It's interesting, I do this with dating too. Instead asking out women I know and actually like, I feel like I need to practice using dating apps and with women I don't care about much. Is that bad? Idk
And unfortunately the whole TH-cam is just teaching this..."GO MONK MODE FOR 6 MONTHS AND LET PEOPLE THINKS YOU'RE A GENIUS"
Im insecure when im not on hard drugs😊
🙏🏻
it's fine if you want to practice in secret
but it's important to know that you'll never be as good as your ego wants you to be
How do i submit a question to him ?
I can't say that I did any of these things, as far as i can recall.
Spiff could you please talk to this mod creator about the backdoor they added through the mod
I dont want to be smart, I want to think LESS
How artists are portrayed in media as these talented gods doesn't help either
So what's the solution
So practicing look maxing 2-3 weeks before going outside instead of being really ugly.
I just want to be effortlessly pretty
lmao i thought itd be fun to try a pole dancing class. went once and never again.
if ur thinking of trying it, def build up your upper body strength beforehand😂
lol the end good 1
wait... so we're NOT supposed to do that??
*cries in introvert*
Oh I always thought thats expected of me
What about being insecured to trust people? Can't practice that.
How does he know this?
Damn that queerish impersonation was perfect
bro is enneagram type 5
by myself?
👡 EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Having naturally low levels of dopamine saves me from these, I both can’t act on things and don’t find others’ positive remarks very rewarding like many people do.
😭🙏🏾
HAHAH you are too funny
I just want to say to this comment section that training in secret is the way because not only will people mock you for not being good at something, they will mock you with it forever. Even when you eventually get good at it. They'll always try to put you down, never give them that opportunity because this will screw with you mentally.
you described germans haha
Ouch
I've heard his indian voice, but it's the first time I hear his gay voice
Wait people actually do this?
yeah x'D
Yes. Working out on my own first so I don't look bad at the gym is such a me thing to do.
@@Reality-Distortion it's pretty well known that the gym is one of the most accepting places you can go to. Everyone is just there to work on themselves, no judgement towards others
@@justmatt2655 yeah, an accepting place consistently full of people hellbent on showing off, domineering and belittling others
@@mordredderby955 have you ever been to the gym?