I've realized that when i'm not distracting myself with videos, games, music, or anything that takes my attention away, I start to really think about my life situation and it makes me depressed because of where i'm at. So it's like a cycle of "yea I know I should change but i'd rather do this" and fall back into attention distracting things to kind of numb this depression. I know this and yet can't break free from the cycle.
Hey man, I think the best way to go about this is try and feel or at least think about what would get the real undistracted you to be happy, and start doing those things even tho you dont feel like doing them
Same. But I noticed I can also escape reality by getting wrapped up in something productive, like cleaning, so I'm trying to find productive escapism now. Some escapism is good - Life can suck sometimes and you don't need to think about your problems 24/7.
I was the absolute definition of hopeless and fully invested in the idea that I was going to just end up killing myself in the end but I'm telling you there's a way out. I can't tell you because I'm not you, but I guarantee there are many many fundamental flaws in the way you see the world, really try your best to view yourself as this outside spectator as much as possible. Allow yourself to identify outside of your own struggles and try to view everything as objectively as possible. When something hurts, really dig deep, free yourself from distractions, and ask what EXACTLY hurts. It's never going to be an overnight process but I promise you there's a way out. Coming from that feeling of complete hopelessness, it really pains me that I can't just give all the other people who feel the same all the answers. I wish you well, and I hope you found some kind of meaning in my words.
The most mentally well I've ever been was in college, because my apartment building was right in front of a forest full of hiking trails. I could literally walk out my back door and into the woods. The time I spent in those woods with myself was invaluable.
@@360critique yup, the woods behind my apartment building actually belonged to the college too, it was called "college camp". It was rarely used outside of the astronomy and biology departments but those of us who did knew it was the best part of campus. Definitely one of the best reasons to attend a rural campus.
I'm 33 and I've felt like it was all pointless since I was 16. All I do is distract myself. No ambition, no passion, no direction. I wish things were different.
Stop believing there is some inherent point to your being 🤷🏼♂️, do you have any animals? If you do do you think they are concerned about why they are here? In ways we have become too intelligent for our own good and think too much, strip away all of the media and what you are told and realise you are just here, in the present, there is no meaning and there doesn't need to be, whatever meaning you have in life can be created by you, be it hobbies, relationships with people, do you have children?
After having such a horribly traumatic childhood with a very toxic upbringing, I find a lot of peace in just being able to wake up everyday, having a job to go to, going to gym, cooking food, etc. I get the privilege to do the basics, to have a boring routine, and to live a quiet, simple life. Something as a child I never thought I'd get to experience. I don't want to grind, I don't want to be remembered or make a name for myself, I don't even care who is and isn't proud of me. I'm proud of me. I just think its amazing I'm alive and get to experience life as it is happening.. even if that is seen as 'pointless and meaningless' to many others. I honestly don't need more meaning than that
Yeah same. Im much happier than people around me living in far more luxurious conditions but this was the trade off for all my suffering. Kinda feels heart warming in a way that sticking around actually did pay off and i get to explore this beautiful world with all my limbs and body intact.
@@Arin-3 I couldn't agree more. I no longer wish things could have been different or have regret for all the pain and trauma I went through, because it ultimately gave me the perspective I needed to truly enjoy life and being alive.
"To see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a flower / to hold Infinity in the palm of my hand, and Eternity in an hour" - William Blake. There is so much quiet joy to be had in a life lived simply. The world is so rich to someone who simply steps outside their door and bends down, with fingers to touch, eyes to see and ears to hear. Why strive for more? I admire you, @wanderfuljes.
Reading the "im proud of me " bit made me tear up...we sound kinda similar...I came from severe neglect and which lead to parentification..now I'm just happy I have basics...God bless
Yes - people value life and things of life only when they don’t have and work towards it to have it because they really want it … then it’s so satisfying to have once they get it… When they already have everything, then people have no motivation to do anything
At 32 I've come to the decision to quit working a meaningless job I'm gonna be a stay at home dad until I find my purpose. I'd rather work myself to the bone for my kids and household than for some stranger just to help get them richer. My wife makes more than I do in 1 day than I make in a whole week. And She is happy with her position and fulfilled in what she does. She just wants me to be happy. This is my moment to break the mold get myself together and finally snap out of this depression.
TL:DR - a lot of jobs can be meaningless unless to connect few dots to them that give them more meaning. I personally love photography and videography. I even started a high school for video technician. But I did bad at school because I was lazy and bad at prioritizing, so I ditched it. Along the way i did few gigs and freelance jobs as a videographer, and understood one thing from all of it. I want to do this on my own terms. I want this as my hobby, not as my job. After which I "returned to real life", and started working as electrician - field I was good at in middle school. Electrotechnician was a field that I graduated in my high school. It took 2016 to 2021 and failed high school, after i graduated middle school, for me to realise that I should start to connect at least some of the dots in my life. AKA - finished electrician school - go and work as electrician. You dont have to do it whole life - that is what i say to myself - but at least do it in order to be good at something. My plan is to have 5 years of work experience in that field, before I try something again with videography and photography. Three years left atm....I learned a lot which did not in school, and I had a whole lot of expereince with random people and situations. It even lead me to feeling that I want to learn more languages. Now the last thing that is left is to get better at saving money for the future use. I hope you start connecting the dots. Hold strong, be good, and along that way I hope that way your depression will find its way out itself.
I am 31 years old and my big problem in life is feeling that nothing makes sense anymore, there is no experience that makes me excited to wake up the next day, the emptiness is infinite and day by day my head kills me despite the fact that beautiful people surround me . Pretty much my whole life I've had this feeling and all I want is to turn it off. I really hope nobody feels this way, is painful 😓
I've felt that way and I guarantee you when you start noticing little things and appreciating them, it gives you love and peace. Appreciate colors, smells, people doing stuff. Or you can start with yourself, if you like being kind and help people, go out and do that. Don't judge, just feel what warms your heart. Don't judge people or things for the things you hate or dislike, appreciate what makes them beautiful. Other example is watching Pixar movies, they're colorful and at the end they give you a sense of meaning.
@@carlissantillan1225 I don't know if it's something you can learn, I see beauty in literally everything, but I don't know if it's something I could teach someone.
Nothing is free. Google how much ad revenue someone with 1.69 million subscriber makes. You might not be paying him, but advertisers are paying him an insane amount of money to make this content.
Good for him if money is his God. To me, its 100% free because I'm not paying a cent and I don't even get advertisements because I use an ad blocker, so I'm not even paying for a TH-cam premium service. I could say I'm paying for the electricity that runs my phone. I'll give you that. But that's peanuts compared to what information like this is usually sold for on the free market.
I'm here cuz I'm trying to find a reason to keep going. I truly feel that once I lose my parents. I have nothing left. No friends. No skills. No passion.. hope it all works out
My parents are gone. I have friends and skills but no passion. Your fears are well founded. I hope you find a reason to keep going, even if just to honor their memory.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your parents. Just remember that you ARE a continuation of your parents. You are alive because they wanted you to be. Their blood and genes continue into the future because of you. I'm sure that they would be happy and proud of you for just being alive. Don't lose hope! Life can be tough, but through the struggle, there is beauty in it. I hope you continue on and find your purpose. Just being alive is a worthwhile journey, we just sometimes lose sight of that. Wish you the best!
"We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club
@@noobdosjogos During the great depression people starved to death. No one is starving to death in the west just because of the economy. So yes, we don't have a great depression.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”~ Alan Watts
They're paid to ask you questions you already ask and tell you things you already know. They make money off your problems. I need a friend or family member to listen to me and maybe even help me out a little bit instead of ignoring me my entire life.
2:24 this hits hard as someone who is perpetually swinging back and forth between the grindset and just letting life pass by and still definitely has no idea what i'm doing at all.
The worst is when you find yourself grinding, with no clue why you are or what you’re even doing. It just feels like you’re always busy with no time for yourself
I think the problem is that very few people get to see their labor improve the lives of the people around them. I'm sure being a farming peasant sucked in a million ways, but at least you get the satisfaction of seeing your family and physically present community eat. The professions that have that immediate tangible small community impact are poorly paid government jobs (teaching, emergency services) or locked behind an amount of education that may be unobtainable (ex: doctor, judge). Want to just go back to farming? Hope you have millions of dollars worth of land and tools.
@@bbouncy12 great insight. Humanity has pulled one lever to figure out how to live longer while ignoring or even pushing the happiness lever the other direction
this guy is such a clear thinker, he really nails the feeling of the 18- 30 year olds in today's world, those who spent their youth on the internet looking for guidance and help.
I can't believe this is fucking free for everyone. This speaks to alot of people like myself. I remember one time my father once told me to always do what I thought was right. He never once pressured me to become someone else or chase after a dream that didn't belong to me. My life has been filled with so many adventures from being a chef for eight years living in different countries, to being an ambassador for a hotel, learning multiple languages, going to raves/festivals and so on so forth. Because of my father and his ability to be understanding, I lived my chaotic life in such peace. My dad is such a lovely man and such a role model that I wanted to be just like him. As I get older, the more I realized that purpose is something you find along the way of life.
Dropping comments into the endless void, but just gotta say I love your contribution to the world. You've helped more than you might ever know. Stay well and thank you!
I've been systematically destimulating myself the past few months and it's worked wonders. I've never found it so easy to maintain good habits like exercise, sleep, and diet. Meditation, this channel, and just unplugging way more often is so helpful. Being able to catch yourself early when you start to slip is critical as well. But having a higher baseline enjoyment of life by doing less is so satisfying
Same here, i always was a procrastinator and now i see my friends saying shit like "I need to clean my tiny room so bad but i never do" and im like "Holy shit my entire HOUSE is super clean and i just didnt even noticed i had this power in me lol"
Any tips on how to stay consistent? Didnt do anything but jerk off smoke weed play games and eat shit food during quarantine and its hard to get back on track
@@daredevil2724 Temptation bundling might help. Those "bad" habits can be useful. Cook healthy meal = garbage snacks as a little 'side'. 1h Games = 30min walk. Then you can get into combos: fold laundry = jerk off = shower = get dressed in nice clean clothes. Lol whatever works
I am a long time gamer and work in Network Security, so I spend a lot of time in front of a Screen. I recently got a dog and have found that going for an hour without headphones really helped me decompress and process.
Lmao do we live the same life? I'm an avid gamer who works in information security and who just got a dog a week and a half ago. I've also found it very beneficial to get out and reconnect and it's inspired me to try and get into playing football again!
As an Asian American who just graduated college and is on a gap year (I'm 22), I couldn't agree more. In high school, everything I do is to "get into a good college." It worked: I got into a top-10 school, and my family and my peers were so happy for me. But in college, without the order I was used to, I was aimless: I choose classes so I can at bare-minimum graduate with a "useful degree", and I only join clubs because they are "fun", not because I want to build things up for my future self. An especially hard moment of realization was in an internship interview, when the interviewer asked "why are you passionate about this job?" I basically froze. I have no idea. I'm not passionate about it. I wouldn't apply to this job if I didn't have to. Luckily, I am currently on a break from everything, school and job. I've had many hours of depression since I no longer have a routine, but from trying to understand my feelings, I was able to discover a lot of things: what I wish I got out of college, what I would have done if I can do it over. If I had known these four years ago, who knows what I would have accomplished? But, I was so preoccupied with work and every commitment during college, that I had no idea what I want. Thinking back, it would have been a great idea to take a gap year sometime early in my college years. Right now I just think back at the opportunities I missed, that I won't be able to regain unless I do a graduate school. Even then, it's different. Part of me still wants to relive college, and avoid the additional responsibilities that comes with a post-undergrad life (working a job, cooking my own food, finding my own ways to meet people, etc.). It's a lot becoming a responsible, self-sufficient adult, but I'm slowly working on it. Certainly, this video seems to push me in the right direction.
I'm financially in a good situation with no debt but i just feel i was forced into existence and life is a game i dont want to play. I dont want to be in a relationship, i dont want kids, i have very few hobbies and feel an increasing disconnect from people because society is getting really stupid.
I can relate to everything that you mentioned. The meaninglessnes of being inside of a hamsterwheel that never stops turning is beyond demoralizing and the people are just becoming more wild each and every year..
One thing I noted in my grandparents is that they took a great deal of pride in doing something well. In giving whatever they were doing their very best. We don't make very much by hand anymore. We have very little sense of tangible accomplishment. Those who do physical or tangiable labor are generally looked down on.
Agreed, where I am now there is alot of cheap labour from india, philipines, etc. which makes manuel labour utterly useless to employers yet I like doing it (as long as I am paid) and have a natural tendency towards it. it's really annoying unless your family owns a business or something.
@@anelbegic2780 I work as a machinist for a family owned business. I’m turning metal while they’re on sail boats lol machines cost too much to start on my own
@Jbeezy Agreed. But why should they? So they can be looked down on and made fun of? The arrogance of Western society and celebrating the white collar and spitting on the blue has left us with not enough people with plumbing and electrical skills, not to mention framers.
If I could suggest something... back when I was in college, studying to get into medical school, at my peak levels of stress I discovered an incredible method of meditation that brought me back to earth, at moments where I even felt suicidal. I had a walk in closet, hidden away from the rest of the apartment, I sat inside it, flicked the light off and it was complete darkness. Couldn't even see my hand infront of my face. I sat in there on the floor for 30 minutes 3/4 times a week. It was an incredible experience. Zero sensory stimulation, no noise, no vision, just you and your thoughts.
had a similar experience, but just me sleeping much sooner in the evening, just to wake up at around 3AM, my room was in total darkness, no one talk to me, no phone, no noise, i usually lay there for around 1 hour before going back to sleep, although my sleep schedule is pretty f-ed up at that time, i sorted my thought each night and got myself back together after 2 years, and gave what i thought about my career was a wrong choice another try, now i'm not exactly happy, but i'm getting there
As a mother of 2 young men in their 20's, 1000% agree!! Thank you for speaking the difficult truth in such a way we can all understand relate learn from despite gender, age! Grateful my sons follow you & shared your channel with me. Thank you Dr K 🎉🎉😇 🙏🏼
For me, it’s being disconnected to my work. Trying to find a job that pays a living wage where I’m connected to my work is hard. Back in the day, people would make shoes, sew clothes, or bake for a living and got to see the fruits of their labor. Nowadays modern jobs just entail filling out excel spreadsheets all day in an office with no windows or natural light. It’s actually soul crushing for creative people.
Filling out Excel sheets. ✅ Office with no windows or natural light. ✅ Feeling soul crushed for a (totally not) living wage. ✅ Are you watching a live feed of my life?
Plus, back then, if you wanted to be a writer, you could! You could find what you were good at and liked/loved and do it! Now, you can't (or at least, I'm not allowed because that's 'not realistic')! It's horrible!
Iroh from atla summed it up perfectly, “It’s time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do you want?”
Iroh from Avatar said "Life happens wherever are, whether you make it or not".. but he also said " just drink tea like a Mofo , with your loved ones" 😎 .
I credit ATLA for getting me into Buddhism and Hinduism and looking inward as I've aged into adulthood. That show, Aang and Iroh especially, had such a HUGE impact on my development as a person.
I’m a black guy but I also got crushed by expectation. When I was very young (30 now) my family used to tell me “you can be the first black president!” Good intentions, bad execution. I ended up developing schizoaffective disorder. Now I’m pursuing music cuz it’s the best feeling in the world
Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys has the same disorder. So I can assure you that it has no hindrance on musical ability, and may actually enhance it due to seeing things in a unique way. You got this!
Notes for myself: Stop externalising my attention (podcasts, social media, TH-cam etc). They numb our emotional circuits. Give myself quiet time, time to process emotions, think, find what I like. Reach the end of thought. Let the thoughts run out. Go through boredom. Become sensitive to internal thoughts.
I think this is why people always reminisce about the past and how things were "better" back then before social media. We were living in a time where the only thing we COULD do was go outside and find ourselves. Now, it's hard to even find the time, energy or want to go outside, to unplug. It's way easier to walk to your couch and unlock your screen.
I saw a video recently where a guy said, if you make less than 50k a year, you can't afford to be watching tv, or surfing the internet, or jacking off. I think there's something to that. I'm 39 and remember a time withput the internet to distract me from creating stories and art.
And for us who DO want to get out and do crap, it all costs lots of money or is reliant on having people already in your life who also want to go out and do shit and not just sit around on their computer. Literally the only things to do around me without bleeding out money on a singlular day, go out to eat at a cheaper restraunt, some movies- which most want to do that at home now anyway- or go for a walk in a forest. Like.. dont get me wrong, I do what i can but even in what I mentioned two require at least one other person, so point still very proven lol
@@cherriberri8373 honestly same. One thing comes up into mind is walking in the park. Other than that everything else cost a certain amount of money that I don't want to spend.
the problem as i see it is that the best purpose for humans is to help other humans and to share joys and positive activity. but the modern world utterly rewards narcissism and resource acquisition. so if you pursue a more wholesome life, you're going to lose out versus the narcissists
This is it man. Something about working to earn money corrupts the work relationship. I'm not clocking in for my manager. I'm clocking in for me to earn money. I've had much better experiences with volunteer work/community service where there isn't such a feeling of obligation
Not completely. You can help people via training, positive management, providing health care, social work, etc. Some of these fields do make good money
People are also more anti social nowadays as well, which makes helping stranger harder. There is more social anxiety, depression, and social isolation these days, and Covid only made it get even worse.
Respectfully,, it’s like. How? How is someone else “getting ahead” materially/financially before they unexpectedly develop cancer/or suffer from a heart attack.., are they actually truly getting ahead? When you in contrast are already doing what you want with your short and limited time.
Winning is a very individually defined thing. The story of the fisherman and the business man touches on this. I'll briefly tell it here. One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up and his line cast out into the sparkling blue sea. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish. Then, a business man came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He notices the fisherman and wonders why he is fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family. "You won't catch many fish that way," said the businessman, "You should be working rather than lying on the beach!" The fisherman looked up with a smile and replied, "And what would my reward be?" "You could have bigger nets to catch more fish!" the businessman answered. "And then what?" replied the fisherman. "You will make money and be able to buy a boat, which means you can catch more fish!" "And then what?" The business man grew frustrated and began yelling at the fisherman. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let your employees catch fish for you!" ... "And then what?" The business man lashes out at the fisherman, "You could become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You could spend the rest of your life sitting on a beach, looking at the sunset! You won't have a care in the world!" The fisherman smiles at the businessman and says, "What do you think I'm doing right now?" ----- Very often in the modern day we are bombarded with ideas of materialism and consumerism. Money is the most important thing. You can buy good things and flex on people!!! This is very prevalent in the red pill manosphere, especially with figures like Tate, and Iman Ghadzi. These men will never be satisfied with what they have -- they've said it themselves -- they always want more. If they see somebody with something they don't have, they'll want it and do anything to get it. That's not freedom. That's not happiness. Money is nice yes, but it shouldn't be your final goal or even a metric of your success. Your peace of mind and your life's alignment to your deeper purpose. That is what you should strive for. No amount of riches will bring that. Help others first, focus on providing them value. The warm feeling at the end of the night knowing you made somebody's day genuinely better is the reward. The external factors of money or people liking you is merely a bonus. Chase your dreams bro, I'm rooting for you.
My dad died at 54 in his sleep from a massive heart attack. He never saved for retirement and just lived in the moment. He tried to enjoy his life to the fullest and despite the hardships he had in life, he achieved his dream to a certain degree. Since he died, it's like my sense of purpose has completely changed. I have reasons to live and I'm starting to get out of this depression by concentrating what I wanna build in my life and what I actually wanna do. Enjoying life and surrounding myself with people who give me life is what helps me find purpose. Being afraid to live because of the back to back compounded grief I've had for the past 4 years has taught me that life isn't somewhere out there, far far away. Life is here right now, today, exactly where you are.
My dad also died at 54, due to aneurysm that led to a heart attack. He was the pillar of my beliefs, however that crumbled when he died along with his hopes and dreams of us going abroad. While he relaxes and enjoy his time. We weren't close, he had more time outside than with us so we develope a sense of estrangement of him but he was a good man, just a bit flawed on his pride and expectations of us. My life had been colorless when he left like a footprint in the sand. He was enjoying, he was happy but at the end why did his eyes revealed regret as he cried in his deathbed? I've tried to revive him but it was all for naught. I saw the light in his eyes vanish, as his body became stiff and his hand that was held by my mother became cold. I'm sorry I needed this..Life's been unfair, being bored isn't even in my mind anymore because my ADHD brain always brings back those memories. It's mind numbing, kinda psychotic and traumatic. I can't even frown anymore I always smile because I can't reveal that to my mother. I don't know what I'm talking anymore, I forget easily. I'm sorry...
@@ndreinschannel5683be a little selfish, literally, when i have anxiety over my mother's health, selfishness gets me out of it, by that i mean remember you have a lofe that is your own, you are the only main character, you gotta work for that main character and do things for the favor of their story, if you don't do that, you'll end up a side character in life with no big plot
Almost everyone I loved has died, but there is so much to experience and I know that everyone I loved cheered for my happiness and want me to live this life looking forward and not backwards. The dream today is driving the Al-Can highway, next year it's taking a boat to the Bahamas to snorkel and fish. Those might take more time than I was hoping, but things that are bigger than yourself are worthy dreams.
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
The discussion about emotional suppression reminds me of when I was at a hot tub spa with my boyfriend. It was peaceful and quiet and I just randomly started sobbing lmao. He was incredibly kind and understanding about it and after I cried I felt more at peace than I had in a while. You really don't realize how much you suppress things until you allow them to come to the surface.
what a horrible experience for him, going with his girlfriend to have a nice romantic moment together and she cries, he'll always remember you having cried, I know because my brother's ex-wife cried sometimes when having sex. Imagine if he seemed sad after you gave him a hug, you'd think your hug is beyond trash. You should make it up for him. If you don't then he should find a better girlfriend who gives him moments of joy and satisfaction when they're together, this is what men want out of a relationship. He's not your therapist.
@@cynthiabauer5763 Holy projection, Batman. Way to make an assumption about a random stranger's relationship. This happened a year ago and I arranged and paid for the whole thing as a treat for both of us. We still ended up having a great time. Everyone is on their own path when it comes to emotional intelligence. What I've learned for myself is that having emotional needs does not "ruin" experiences. Emotions are silly and irrational and deeply, deeply human. Opening up to your partner is a way to increase connection.
@@cynthiabauer5763 I highly disagree. It’s actually a sign of a great relationship if you can open up and support each other. There will always be times when things aren’t all going great, but going through that together with your partner and to come out of it stronger is key to a happy relationship
@@QwertsMinecraft I see where you're coming from and it makes a lot of sense when we think about it but in real life people see vulnerability as weakness and lose respect and admiration for the partner, becoming like their parent. I think your mindset is correct but only people born before social media and promiscuity can live happily through bad times. Today everyone is disposable.
What he said about the numbing effect of electronic stimulation really spoke to me. For years, I have had this habit of watching TH-cam videos for several hours before I go to sleep (right now, for instance). It relaxes me, but I sometimes feel like I'm doing it to keep myself from thinking or feeling, like I don't really exist while watching. Maybe I should try just going to sleep sometime. Or at least spend less time staring into screens.
i recently heard the avg amt of time spent viewing is 2.5 hours. my new goal is to some how bring myself down to only 2.5 hours. set a SMART goal and you can see bona fide results . making our dreams, ambitions quantifiable helps us attain them or at least see where issues lie. Until we do that it is all wishfulness and vague sense of unfulfillment. good luck!
I do the same thing as you. If you're like me, you probably just couldn't sleep at night so you tried TH-cam videos and it ended up working. It's like a weird double edged sword, not really different than any other drug addiction. The drug (TH-cam) is legitimately helping us sleep. But it's also damaging us in a way. So it's very hard. Like right now I can't imagine falling asleep without TH-cam playing, unfortunately. Maybe it means I have too many thoughts and if I instead meditated throughout the day, the thoughts could "get out," rather than they all trying to "get out" at once at night time, making it impossible to sleep.
That's really interesting to me, because I have convinced myself and several therapists that I am not addicted to gaming, I barely do it anymore. I just happen to have too much time while being unemployed and sit in front of the PC all day, but I wouldn't do it if I had anything better to do, and that's true!
i struggled with my mental health for most of last year and only just realized like 2 months ago why i kept myself from falling asleep, because in this short period of boredom before falling asleep i'd start having intrusive thoughts of selfharm etc, to avoid this i just watched youtube or played a game , numbed myself, until i was so tired that i fell asleep immediately and my thoughts didnt have time to form. i took the next 6 months off and have decicded to focus on myself, and after watching this video it only assured me that i took the right decision.
Everybody needs some numbing, some escape from themselves. It can be work, family, dating, partying, intellectual pursuits, drugs, gym, etc, But everybody tries to divert their attention to something else to avoid spending too much time looking into their inner voids. Only monks are able to be alone in their own heads for long periods and stay sane.
Finding this video makes me feel like someone else is there. I've said all of this to people and no one ever understood me and I am just so happy it's not just me and that there is hope.
This reminds me a lot of the meditations I used to do when I became a Buddhist. I would sit and basically allow my brain to tire itself out with racing thoughts and cravings until eventually things would settle down and I would have clarity. Life has gotten in the way lately and I've been feeling awful again, but this video reminded me to reconnect with that practice. You've won yourself a new subscriber! :D
@@gayminecraft As I see it, you'd usually do the opposite of forcing things when meditating. You don't try to control the thoughts. Usually we identify a lot with what we think and feel, but meditating can make you realize your thoughts and feelings are not your identity, and that you don't have to engage with them. By just observing ourselves and our thoughts as an outsider we can avoid a lot of the judging we usually do that often leads to suffering. It helps me to think of the ego and the thoughts that come with it as being "noise" in the front, while my consciousness is a quiet and nonjudgmental observer in the back. So we become the quiet observer when meditating.
I usually don't comment on videos, but this one almost made me cry. As a Korean that grew up in Germany, who is in this particular phase of figuring out what to do after graduating, I catch myself often being in this vicious cycle of numbing and losing myself in negative thoughts. The fact about suicides in the Asian-American community even kinda resonated with me, cause I understand and feel this pressure every damn minute of my life. I just want to say thank you, bc I was consciously/ not consciously searching for someone to understand and to give my feelings words + translating this abstract saying of "searching internally" into sth. practical.
I wish you all the good luck to keep going through all these things. I grew up in Russia with different cultural background, but I truly understand what are you talking about. It's not easy to live this life, but you can find your own purpose. And you can be happy, of course. Mainly, just believe in yourself, try to find a good therapist, do not go away from this journey which may be unpleasant but it's very useful.
I think we need to remember as a cooperative, social species that we have only recently been able to manage things without leaving the house for weeks. We HAD to interact at some level. Now the goal is live alone, build alone and then maybe advertise what you have to attract another independent individual who doesn't want to compromise.
But what happens when you do go on a journey of self-discovery, but don’t find your purpose? Sometimes I wish there could be a place or a person that could direct you towards something. I can’t be the only one who just has never felt a particularly strong pull in one direction or another. I’m in my 50’s now, but I’ve struggled with this concept my entire life thus far. I think some people are just more intuitive. I’m jealous of them.
Someone who exists and points you to purpose? Hmmm...sounds like you'd appreciate a messenger of God. (Except the vast majority of people won't even entertain the thought. Like a knee jerk reaction, they go straight past disbelief and into ridicule.)
Why can't your purpose be to journey? To think, and learn? Why can't you be fulfilling your purpose while trying to find it? Joseph Campbell's words have always comforted me: "...if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living..."
God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God. When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.
Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.
I'm 18, and maybe a year ago I was just... tired. The mere thought of the future was just undesirable to me. I was already kind of depressed and I knew things were just going to get harder for me as time went on, so the question: "what the bloody hell is the point of this?" Really started weighing me down. Then I fell in love for the first time in my life. I have since decided to commit myself to go to work everyday, go to school and become a desirable human being in general, in hopes to fall asleep next to someone I love every night. I decided that I'm going to give life my best shot, and even if I end unsatisfied, at least I'll know that I tried. I really, really tried, and that's more than some people can say. The simple life sounds like the life for me 😊
Mh I've never experienced falling in love. Eastern religions (which are becoming so trendy) make detaching from desires a big deal, but maybe some of these passionate long-term desires are actually benign, and they actually make you more grounded in many ways. I genuinely don't desire much, maybe it is a thing that's wrong with me. I think it's killing my engagement with life, it made me a quiet spectator when maybe we're all supposed to be actors.
In the high school I had a great math teacher. She occasionally told us that from time to time we all need to take a "day of lazyness". She explained that for a whole day you lay in bed, doing nothing, and get up mostly only to eat. It looks now for me like a way to reach the end of thougths. Looks like the time has come to finally listen to her.
I find what meditation/sitting with your internal thoughts also fosters is compassion. Observing what comes up for you with no judgement or critique, simply acknowledging it as thought. I find when you do this and encounter difficulty in life you begin to give yourself compassion, acknowledging that your troubles, fears and insecurities are things to hold and value because within them there is sincere desire.
These are notes I took for this video. Keep in mind i may have missed something so I recommend watching this video regardless. I thought this was a great video from Dr. K. 1. Porn & suicide addiction is linked to a sense of meaninglessness (no end goal to make life worth it) 2. Sense of purpose can’t be given to you, it has to come from within 3. We have externalized our attention (social media, podcasts, video games, tv) due to technology; losing touch with our inner voice thus struggling to find our inner voice. 4. When you feel bad you use technology which suppresses your internal signals. Technology shuts down our ability to be in touch with ourselves. 5. We look outside for possible answers but we are actively numbing ourselves. 6. SIGMA grind set/retire early people don't know what they are going to do after retirement; chasing what makes other people appear to be happy. **End of thought (**15:00**)** 1. Reduce external stimulation to hear your internal voice 2. Reach the **end of thought.** Close your eyes and listen to your thoughts. A period of intense boredom will eventually arise. Boredom is an attempt by your brain to get dopamine so you don’t feel uncomfortable. 3. If you can get passed the boredom state you will reach **end of thought.** The time to reach end of thought varies. Once end of thought is reached all you will be left with is internal impulses resulting to hypersensitivity to internal drivers, goals and values. Now you can align your life based on your internal values 4. Once you determine what you want in life 5. Go for a walk or meditate. Let your thoughts run out, feel boredom, then discover what you want after. Once you discover your purpose - then you can align your life around it. **Your life aligned with purpose** 1. When your life is aligned with your purpose then you can tolerate the difficulties of life 2. It’s hard to do hard things because it’s not worth it (not aligned with your purpose) 3. If what your studying is aligned with your purpose it will be easier to wake up early and study 4. Caring for life makes it much easier to live and more enjoyable 5. Once you find a reason to be motivated to do things - that’s what makes it easy to accomplish your goals **Purpose of Life** The purpose of life is not in life it’s in you; its individualized. You want the most out of your life you have to understand what you want out of it. To find the purpose of life; reach the end of thought.
Thanks for sharing, here are mine: People are questioning their purpose; society has lost sense of purpose Hustle -->become successful-->retire early Goal in life is so retire and then start enjoying life You sacrifice your best years Capitalizing on capitalism or fully checking out Neither has sense of purpose Porn consumption is caused by meaninglessness Sense of purpose cannot be given to you It must come from within Why have people lost sight of that? Technology We have externalized our attention - social media; playing games; looking at your phone; using internet Social media amplifies this idea that other people can give me recipe for happiness; how to find purpose 100 years ago, we were more attentional to our internal stimuli Technology use shuts down our ability to be in touch with ourselves; it numbs emotional circuitry. you suppress internal signals How do we UN-numb ourselves? Reduce external stimulation. Listen to internal voice: If you can start to taste again, it will become easy to find out what you like to eat again Boredom: stimulation seeking emotional state antidote is external stimulation, but this is suppressing internal signals Thoughts come from our sensory organs, or memory. What are you excited about today? movie, game, food - chances are it came from a sensory organ if we are bombarded by our sensory organs, it will be difficult for our internal thoughts to rise further compounded: when internal thoughts arise, they arise in negative way this is another reason we want to numb ourselves: our first layer of internal voice is unpleasant it's negative emotions we have suppressed People go on these year long wanderlust: travel/hike/whatever They then come back to life - and they have this piercing look in their life; they're rugged What's the mechanism? Aren't you with you at all times? No: in world we exist in, you're not with you so much digital stimulation you're far far away from you When you're hiking, you're being with yourself Meditation retreats: you're meditating for 8 hours... stuff comes up, stuff comes up, stuff comes up Simple technique: Reach the End of Thought (meditation in the true sense of the definition?) If you close your eyes - thoughts will arise; there's a pattern: they're mostly related to something EXTERNAL to you not about anything you want - things you need to do; desires which are also borne by external stimulus... i wanna eat this, play whatever.. not something you care about Period of intense boredom comes; mind is struggling for stimulation; boredom is attempt for your brain to get that hit of dopamine Sensation that prompt us into action are uncomfortable; thirst, hunger. what's the biggest club our mind has got? boredom second phase you experience is intense, intense boredom; If you don't give into the boredom and you know what the boredom is trying to do, something magical will happen, you can start to have some power over it Thoughts will be rapid at the beginning, then they will slow down, slow down, slow down.. and if you're lucky you will reach end of thought Once you reach the end of thought (because thoughts come from outside sources), all you will be left with are your internal impulses You will have stopped numbing yourself, and you will be hyper sensitive to internal drivers, goals, values; once you're centred on those, you can begin to craft a life around those once i know from within me what i am looking from life; once i stop listening to influences, Asian American parents, older siblings, friends and try to duplicate that, I'm listening to myself and i can align my life out of my values once you discover what you want from life - it's not about what is the purpose of life (it's a misnomer) purpose of life is not in life, but it's in you, it's individualized it's a scam; "let's ask someone wise because they will give us THE ANSWER" you're an individual, you have to understand what YOU want out of it in order to do that: REACH the END of THOUGHT you can sit there, you can go on a hike; you don't have to reach it all in one session let the thoughts run out; they will run out of steam; there will be boredom, and after that you will discover what you want once you discover purpose, you can start aligning with with it after that, doing difficult things will become 'worth it' life will become worth it caring for life makes it so much easier and so much more enjoyable don't adopt anti-work nor the work work work be successful later where you reach the end of the rainbow and there's a pot of gold you need to start this today
My biggest problem is that I feel like all I do is work. And when I'm not working, I am too tired to enjoy my free time + in order to do anything, you need to spend money, which I don't want to, because I'm working way too hard for every dollar, so I don't wanna spend it.
Damn this guy makes a lot of sense. I once had to take an hour long drive by myself, something I have done many times. But decided this time I would turn off the radio and just be alone with my thoughts for the trip. By the end of it I realized that I really wanted to travel. So I decided right then that I was going to work toward going on a European backpacking trip by myself. One year later I did it. I traveled Europe for 6 months with no plan or itinerary. Best decision of my life!
I had a similar experience where I spent some time thinking about what I wanted and ended up traveling to Puerto Rico for a week. Never felt more alive despite being on my own in a new place. What are you doing now?
I felt that... I was looking for purpose in other people. I thought I was meant to help them and sacrifice my life for others. I went to a therapy over a year ago and my therapist asked: "Why you need these people? What is that they give you that you can't give yourself?" I had no idea back then and it took some time but ot happened. I am now recovering people pleaser and so far "lost" 5 "friends". And with each one it feels better and better. And I have myself finally and I enjoy being with myself. I'm still shocked how of a great friend I can be for myself. Wow...
If you want to know what your purpose is then you need to go back to what your desires are. If I desire to have 6 packs then my purpose becomes it, then whatever newer desires I crave, that becomes my new purpose. The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?. Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires. Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.
i have this feeling at the moment. i dont see my purpose and for the past ... 1 year maybe more, i felt like the only way to feel alive was to make other people happy so i can have part in their happiness. i found an analogy to a candle quite fitting: i can't stand the thought of burning low and never being noticed. i'd much rather burn bright and hot, but also be gone that much quicker. even if i have realized it now, i dont even have an idea where to start having my own purpose. whenever i do something for myself i dont feel alive. whenever i something for others it gives me this little spark of feeling alive, but its never enough to ignite something in me. i just read my text again and it doesnt make a lot of sense, but i'm still gonna post it and not edit it as it really describes how i feel at the moment...
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
@@Raverraver9999 if I disregard the overly moral prescriptivist, monotheistic tone in your comment, there is hidden within it a beautiful gem of spiritual wisdom and truth and i appreciate having read it today
Just three of your videos in and I'm starting to realize I *never* had any purpose at all. My whole life has been spent bouncing from one interest to another, not taking anything seriously, and Idk-ing my way thru everything from school, dating, jobs, interests... Yikes. This is gonna be one interesting journey.
The same goes for me, today I’m going to start a 15 day meditational retreat, hoping I can gain some type of actual insight about myself. Good luck to you 🙌
I graduated on top of my class in uni and I had great expectations for myself, getting into a master’s programme abroad, doing a PhD afterwards, having a great job, getting married, and having 7 kids 😅, but life hit really hard after uni. I was totally lost; I tried for over four years to get into a good programme with a full scholarship but I failed every time. Friends and classmates moved way ahead in life and I felt trapped. D person I dated then told me I wasn't exposed enough and ghosted me. It was a series of hell on earth for me. I hated myself and battled with depression and overeating to suppress the pain, until this year when I turned 26 and told myself eff it. I'm done taking life too seriously, I quit my miserable job, started a weight loss plan and have since lost 30 pounds. I thank God for my family because they really helped. People would tell my parents to push me out of the house to find my own place but they never did bcos they understood how bad it was, staying alone was not the solution. Glory to God things are looking up, no matter how little.
I'm so happy you have parents like this. I'm going through things like this, too, depressed and suicidal 'cause I'm trapped in a dead-end job that doesn't care about me and forced to live with emotionally/psychologically abusive parents (mostly mom - Narc/Bipolar), and they keep threatening to kick me out. I'm dealing with it rn, in fact. Mom just told me yesterday that 'life isn't all about you' (I've been not sleeping/losing weight rapidly 'cause I'm just so sad and Done(TM)) and that 'maybe if I ACTUALLY struggle and have nightmares and fears, you'll appreciate this place and what you have.' ;A; It's honestly hell, and I'm really happy your family is so great! SO happy for you! You're so lucky! Wish my parents were empathetic at all and understood, too! ;A;
@7Write4This9Heart7 oh dear.... I really do wish you the absolute best... everything will eventually work out for ur good... just keep pushing forward, no matter how slow. 💖💖💖💖💖
@@debbydambani7040 Thank you! It's really hard to believe that 'cause people keep saying it, but nothing actually gets better...but thank you! I really appreciate it!
i'm going through a quarter life crisis (also jobless rn & have no life ambitions), i never needed to hear this more in my life. i took some time to think for myself & realized the meaning to my life is simply to find love, be there for my family, and look forward to future movies & music bc i love watching movies & listening to music 😆 it's as simple as that. you don't have to have a huge reason. it could be something as small as watching your pets, etc. also, it helped me to stop thinking about the future & the past; just think of the present, soak whatever is happening in. & society clouds our mind so much with expectations. break away from that & it gets so much easier
You are literally me. Jobless and no ambitions. Love movies and music and family. But my issue is that the clocks ticking, and I need money to do things I like. But I get miserable working a 9-5. Idk what to do.
@@Gabe_Shiesty Not sure if it will help anyone reading, but one thing that has helped me recently is reframing the desires I have as "aspirations" rather than "ambitions". An ambition is typically categorized as a self-interested goal but this can seemingly only be measured in a success/fail binary - e.g. if you fall short you are trapped with the crushing realization of failure on your own terms. But an aspiration is something different - it decouples the goal from the potential required to reach it, instead of treating them as one and the same, making it easier to get started. Its very interesting to consider where the words "ambition" and "aspiration" come from as well. The word "ambition" comes from the Latin verb "ambire", meaning "to go around" - but the context in which "ambire" and its noun "ambitio" were used in the ancient world were to describe individuals who were in the pursuit of power. It follows then that, unless you are someone motivated in some way by power in the modern era, you might actually be ok with not necessarily having "ambitions", per se, but more "aspirations" in life. The word "aspiration" meanwhile comes from "aspirare" - the same root as "inspiration" - meaning "to breathe upon, blow upon or breathe"; hence "the things that you breathe (life) into and the things that give you breath" are your "aspirations", and seem much closer to your authentic purpose than an externalized ambition. I don't know about you but none of the things in my life that give me "breath" (life purpose) involve the pursuit of power, competition or dogfighting for status. I maybe in domains which demand participation in these distracting "ambition" games, but so long as I hold true to the aspirations outside of them it makes it easier. It took me a long time, but not considering the historical implications of the words we use all the time can sometimes be responsible for kneecapping ourselves and defining our reality, and sometimes our perspectives only need a small, subtle course correction to get things moving better. Wish you all the best.
@@MrXaphus You make a good point there about those two words, and it was interesting to read about from your comment. That said I agree, it’s definitely so important to be much more careful with our words than we think. One of the things my therapist at the time taught me is just how much thoughts (especially negative ones) can affect how we feel, and how what we feel often turns into action (or simply inaction, but even that is still an action). At that point the cycle just repeats itself. If we could just tap into any of those like rephrasing the words we use and tell ourselves. Then that means we could work to fundamentally change all other aspects of our life, really by just one simple decision. Not that it happens overnight (not counting mistakes along the way) because everything we want to do is often best done in baby steps, but still I’ll just also never forget how my therapist would get onto me about saying “i might” or “i think.” Usually if he was asking me a question either of those replies would just mean no to him, because still none of those answers were a yes or no. Really if I wasn’t gonna say “I will” or even just that yes or no then when would I ever? Bottom line is I guess the lesson there was that I shouldn’t be waiting on life to give me answers, and to spend too much time thinking about it. I should get out there and just enjoy myself. While still also living within my means and being grateful of course. Cause at the end of the day too much self reflection is a bad thing, and not everyone is so lucky to have what we have. Even if we think what we have isn’t too great. All this is I’m sure some things that Dr. K has probably made a point about as a continuation of this “finding ourselves” topic. Probably my main take away from that experience though, was that not all answers come from thinking. Once I stopped thinking as much I felt happier.
Around the 10 minute mark, I went 'Holy crap'. This video is so well articulated. As an Asian American you hit all the notes, and travel is one of the things I did to 'find myself'. It worked for a while, but now I find travel to be unfulfilling too, and I couldn't figure out why until you mentioned it here-I'm just emulating my trips based on what I've seen on social media about what a "good" trip is. I go to take the same photos I've seen people take on Instagram, see the same sights, etc, so I'm no longer finding any meaning or 'taste ' behind what I was originally enjoying. You've motivated me to listen to myself, and I'll start by being bored and finishing a thought. Thank you!
My wife wanted to see some of the “must see” sites in San Fran. I got so tired I ended up falling asleep and bumping into a car in front of me on those steep hills. No damage or legal issues, but there were kids in both cars and it spooked me. Why risk our lives over a donut sign. My wife also missed the whole experience at Venice beach because she was having a custom T-shirt made. So now my main memory of LA is me and my son being near the water and her being 200 meters away with the baby.
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
I really needed 'financial stability does not equal purpose' I've been so focused on that next step, a house, freedom, but if I don't know what it's for, then there's no point
Been studying self help/ motivation for 20 years in different capacities and this is the most insightful video I've ever seen on the topic. I think because it's so relevant and vital for our current over stimulated world. This video made me realize... I am always plugged in. Always. Always watching something, listening. You brought up the shower as the only time we're not plugged in. Well, I'm so demented I have a water proof bluetooth speaker that's in the bathroom so I can continue to listen to podcasts while in the shower. Realizing this... I feel a bit sad and wonder, jeez how numb am I really? And turning off all my electronic entertainment and just being alone in the silence, ugh. It sounds... terrifyingly boring!! Haha. I know I have to buck up and just try it... Thank you for the great video!
I was afraid of exactly that after Highschool. I dropped out started hopping freight trains and traveling around the country. Some of the worst times turned into the best memories. But then I got married and had a kid, my ex had pretty bad mental health problems, I left with the kid. Now I'm 30 just finished a degree and have no clue what I'm doing. I fell into the same trap I was desperate to avoid when I was younger. I would never leave my kid but when I was homeless, traveling, hopping trains, hitchhiking was the happiest I ever was in my life. Now everything I do feels so soulless and empty.
God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God. When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.
Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.
"Purpose is not financial security" That line really hit me, because whenever I'm thinking about my goals in life, what I want or what would make me feel happy that's all I go to. Is that well if I have a safe clean place to live I'll be happy. If I have access to healthy and good food, I'll be happy. If I have enough money saved up, I'll be happy. And I'm certainly not in peek financial security- 16k in student loan debt, but I do have a safe clean home, and I do have access to food, and I have some money saved up but I'm not happy because of it. As a kid I really thought that's all I needed and I think I thought that because I grew up in households where that wasn't a guarentee. Financial security seems to me now like it is the starting point to understanding and being able to access those other parts of your existence.
@@litheon1289 mate but maybe financial security IS your purpose. As he said, everybody is an individual, therefore asking somebody else what the purpose is is pointless. I'm personally also from a family that struggled immensely financially and the most fulfilling years of my life were when I made money while doing a job I didn't dislike but just the salary was so fulfilling to me that I felt like I was on top of the world. Everybody has a different purpose and maybe it changes over time but don't downplay the happiness and fulfillment you can get from reaching financial security. Maybe that's right what you need
@@DlA2oR1nC Yeah I get what you're saying. For me though, especially when I wrote that comment I was struggling a lot with my sense of identity and other issues. I finished school since then and so far have really enjoyed the simplicity of going to work in a job that's not the worst and then coming home to be with my family/ friends and pursue what I'm interested in. I really like where I'm at rn, and can really relate to what you mean! I still think that basic financial security is the base from which we can explore other things, but I appreciate your comment in that it doesn't necessarily mean that happiness or contentness from that security is a nonstarter. It is good ^u^ There are so many other things I'm interested in and care about, that I've been able to really see since gaining more freedom, so I don't think that being in this contentness is my purpose but it could be for other people and that's good.
I had to literally pause in mid and comment. This is THE BEST video I've found on TH-cam in years. The articulation, the philosophy, the simplicity, the humbleness is just unmatched. THANK YOU for making this video ❤ PS: I am struggling a lot these days to find my purpose, or have a sense of purpose in life. I am "successful" entrepreneur. I am adequately recognised in my community and family, I am stable financially, but I've recently lost of sense of purpose. I hope to find it soon. And I also hope to come back here to share my journey with you guys ❤ May you find peace 🙏
I'm 43 this year. I was looking outside myself before social media, smartphones, and anything greater than dial-up. It was books, & CD's & accumulating "things". And finding purpose was STILL difficult! And the antidote to boredom is creativity, if you don't procrastinate on it! Thought-provoking video 👌👏
@@keithnicolas3097 That doesn't make it odd since it can also work the other way around for many people. They want to engage in their creative hobbies and bring their ideas to life but (think) they can't find sufficient motivation or time
Procrastinating ... Man, I have 2e (with ADHD)... That is my default state together with overthink. I am bored about self think about what I want and life purpose. In the end, I can see that life is suffering to reach ephemeral happiness moments. Life is too hard to achieve it. In the end all my mind concluded that life doesn't really have enough value. The only thing that makes me not finishes it is to not bring suffering to others if I die.
I have come to realize that, in living life, you have to strike a balance between accepting what life offers you, and also striving to not simply accept it. It may sound like a contradiction but I'd expand that idea like this: if you accept everything that life gives you, then that's complacency and you're going nowhere. Conversely, if you don't accept that things are the way they are, then you will never be satisfied and you're setting yourself up to fail. The key is finding the balance that works for you, and there is no simple answer. Understanding that we're walking the line between acceptance and striving for more, is really what it takes to have the right perspective on what to do with your life.
As someone who has spent probably cumulatively months of my life literally sitting and doing nothing but thinking, I can tell you purpose isn't going to just come to you unless you're lucky. I differ with the author in that I believe it's unhealthy to try to force yourself to have a purpose. Most people do not. Actually I'd say nobody truly has one, but some are happy nonetheless in feeling that they do. No, it's best to come to peace with NOT having a purpose and the fact that you, like everyone else, are just doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt. Let yourself off the hook for not being a superman achiever, and you might just be happier as a result.
It is so true. As an Asian, I can completely understand what you are talking about. I just finished my MA in Europe. When I came back home, nearly everyone in my family asked me to find a job as soon as possible. They sent me links, resources, etc., but all of this made me anxious. The worst thing is that I don't know what I want, what my purpose in life is. I am not sure how I should go about finding it now. I am a little bit worried: What if my purpose is actually what they told me to be, but I was just overwhelmed? By turning them down, did I actually miss the possible chance of finding a purpose? Am I stressed and anxious because this is a possible answer, but I was just unhappy to accept the fact that they knew me better than I know myself
Im a 23 y/o woman who has spent the last 7 years of my life grinding as hard as I possibly could to get out of a very abusive situation with my father. I have a house now and I don’t have to work nearly as much as I now have employees. However, with all the trauma I have I don’t find myself any happier after escaping and exactly like you mentioned I feel like my suffering has not been worth the outcome so far. I have been looking for these answers my whole life and I can’t thank you enough for making these videos. This one in particular saved my life, I’m in tears and I feel like I finally have somewhere to start healing myself and learn to be disciplined in the ways that truly matter. I have overcomplicated things to the point I’m so unhealthy physically and mentally. I want to fix myself and I want to believe in myself and I want to believe it will be worth it in the end
Wishing you the highest good. Bravo for working so hard to get yourself into a better situation. Now it's time for self love care and healing. You may need a therapist. I'm really proud of you. And happy for you. You have the rest of your life before you. May you enjoy it to the fullest. Take care and best of luck. You are making good moves.
I am going through this as we speak. I am an Asian American that went into the medical field as a way to appease my family, but only after 2 1/2 years post grad, I am already burned out. At first I assumed it was anxiety brought on by imposter syndrome (my self esteem is so low that I assume everything that goes wrong in my department is my fault, causing me to second guess my intelligence), but the more I thought about it, I realized that the core issue is that I have no interest in medicine what so ever and my mind was telling me that I hate it here. I have been thinking about my purpose, and that if this is it, why bother? I can't say that I have discovered myself yet, but a hiatus from the grind might help me find new purpose. It just difficult since I cannot lose my job because I am in debt, giving me this feeling of being trapped in my situation, further pushing my mental limits.
Debt is very tricky because your past self's bad decisions haunt your current self and this can be difficult to escape, but not impossible. Make long term goals. Do not spend money on anything that is not absolutely necessary. Live in as cheap of housing as you can find. Drive cars that are cheap and get you where you need to go. Cook your own food. Start exploring other skills that truly interest you (music, art, athletics, other fields of academia, etc). Do not put in extra hours at work, ever. Time is not money. Time is greater than money can ever hope to be. The expensive shiny things that corporations market to you are a vile distraction from your true human nature. Even if you are unable to leave your job due to your finances, adopting this mindset will truly make your life better. And by spending less you'll get out of your debt trap sooner. Just remind yourself that when it happens, it's not a time to spend more. It's a time to work less. No amount of money is worth your time. I'm agnostic but Jesus was right when he said that living in poverty brings you closer to god. Money is not god.
For sure stay in the medical field if it is good and pays well. That is really the unfortunate thing that matters, doesn't matter if you become a doctor or end up as a janitor. They both work hard, go figure which one you want to be but. Take the time, but do consider.
I recently figured this out at the ripe age of 30. Before, I always thought that the purpose of life was: "To enjoy it at much as possible without hindering the ability of others to enjoy it as well". That has now changed to: "To constantly grow, develop and become a better person in all of the areas that are important to me".
@@tekiero Good. I make goals that I aim for that keep me busy. I've always been interested in Cybersecurity so I am working on getting my CCNA and my CompTIA Sec+ exams in the next couple of months. The one thing to remember, its EXTREMELY crucial, is that you are competing with yourself, not others.
Victor Frankl was right. He didn’t discover that purpose is of utmost importance but he was in a unique situation to confirm that it was. Having a strong purpose is the most valuable thing and cannot be bought.
I was extremely checked out for years in my 20's. I finally got on meds, saw a counselor, and these helped me realize that I don't have a purpose, a goal, and no one to guide me very well. So I was like "what do I do? I'm scared to do what I love so what do I do?" and I realized that I just had to live life and see how long I'm fine, not worry about death or injury. Or the unknown. so now I'm trying to create my life without getting overwhelmed. what is my purpose? find a way to help others, despite what might hold me back.
Chasing purpose has caused me more misery than any other act I ever performed or any mindset I ever held. And I've done my fair share of stupid or evil things that only ever ended up wounding me (to say nothing of the impact it had on others). The worst part is that purpose itself doesn't have a purpose; it's a logical snarl that people don't seem to appreciate. The world is too big and complicated, and if you try to smooth it out with contrivances, you'll only tie yourself in knots. Add that nothing lasts forever, and there isn't even a point. It's better to learn how to find joy wherever it might be hiding, learn how to be kind and merry in even the ugliest circumstances, and let it take you where you need to go. It's exactly enough, no more and no less. I'd be lying if I said I embodied that ideal. I'm far from it. But the more attachments I abandon and the more I slow down to just appreciate life, the happier I find myself to be. I really do think the gist of what Taoists, Buddhists, and Native American indigenous religions promote is the right path.
I had the same realization as you not too long ago. For me, it happened when I started reading about Daoist philosophy, specifically the ideas found in the Zhuangzi. If anyone is interested, I highly recommend the philosopher Hans-Georg Moeller's interpretation of the text. He also has two TH-cam channels called Carefree Wandering and Philosophy in Motion.
That's a good point and I think it's important to point out the distinction between having a 'purpose' that is some big driving goal you're pursuing vs an answer to the question what makes life have value to me? How can I live in such a way that I enjoy and feel fulfilled being alive? The first type of purpose can lead to attaching your happiness and self-worth to the outcome of reaching your goal, disappointment and feelings of failure when you have trouble, and sacrificing important things along the way in the name of achieving it. The second type of purpose is I think what Dr. K is talking about and is essential, it allows you to put effort into things like taking care of yourself and your relationships, valuing time spent on your interests or professional pursuits or whatever you discover is meaningful to you, not because you reach some specific level or achievement, but because you realize these things make your life worth living.
Honestly, that just sounds awful. If it works for other people that's great and more power to you, but why does anyone's joy even matter if it's all meaningless? I ask this question genuinely and not in a hostile or mean way. But like why even care about looking for joy or some kind of happiness if it's all meaningless?
@@giuseppesteigman Why does joy have to matter? Why can't there just be joy, in and of itself, without slathering it with made-up BS? It's not that deep, bro. Just take what life gives you. The more you accept and appreciate the good things you have without trying to wrangle it into something it's not, the more good things you'll have. Think of it as a sort of anti-nihilism. You wouldn't think some fish happily munching on a whale carcass is going to stop and think, "What am I doing with my life? Why am I settling for this whale? I should be the one to take down a whale and make everyone else feast on my achievement! I will be the greatest fish in the history of all fish!" It's just happy that it has a belly full of meat. And even if such an ambitious fish were to ever arise (if you could entertain such an absurd scenario), we'd have no way of knowing its glory. The world itself doesn't care. That fish will die and be forgotten like all the rest, except in its life, it strained so hard to be the glorious one that it missed out on all the good things that right in front of it, but which it chose to pass up in the hope its life would have some kind of meaning in the end. It's foolishness. You may want to read Ozymandias by Percy Shelley. It's a very short poem, but it lays out how foolish ambition is like few other works.
Hi, i personally use religion as a tool, since it has many instructions and guidance, since I can't imagine myself making decisions that i am one hundred percent sure it'll bring me happiness, i would really recommend the Islamic religion, i know... it's pretty misunderstood, and full of wrong stereotypes, but it personally made me feel complete, and made me discover the purpose in life, i wish you much love and guidance
@@vitormascarenhas4884 No they say they had a dream but it didnt happen. So they kinda have to be happy with the life they lived becuase well you have to at that point but non of them are happy
I'm not sure if this will help anyone but in my case, I simply give up. There's peace and joy in giving up I guess. I think when you think that you "have to have a goal" and not find it, it depresses you more. That's what happened to me. Now I just look at the small things and small tasks. Day to day things and appreciate the simple tasks. It was my sister who taught me this. Just live day to day and not think hardly about the future in long term (like you can think tomorrow or a week from now) but not be bothered by the longer one Oh and sign out of ALL social media apps, it really helps 😊😊😊
I remember being a kid that enjoyed life every second and every minute! Now, it feels like that was a dream and today is just another day waiting for an ending. I thought back to my kid self and thought how she would be happy just to feel the sun on her skin in the morning or the smell of coffee and breakfast being made. She was forgiving and all loving. Just that thought alone made me feel like I lost a huge side of myself. So, everyday I would find something to appreciate. From good or bad. From something as small as the smell in the air, touch of my bed sheets, colors in the sky or the way someone smiled/laughed to something as big as someone helping me out when they didn't need or didn't have the time too. Everyday I find something to be thankful for because life can hit hard and make us forget who we are. Everyday is a blessing because one day it will come to an end.
Figuring out how to best appreciate life is the answer. Whatever form that may take for the individual. But I'll just say there was an 80 year long Harvard study that determined that what made people "happiest" (most satisfied) was closeness with loved ones. I would venture to say this is where our meaning lies.
Me too! Your comment made me realize that the old cartoons I used to watch give me comfort because it reminds me of the times I was actually happy…the old music I used to love sometimes makes me emotional and I tear up because I am reminded of a time that life was easier and I was happier. Even though I couldn’t wait to “grow up” 🥺
First para: MOOOOOD! I miss even college me, man! I had zest for life! Life hadn't kicked my teeth in with health issues that would traumatize me yet! I was a normal, carefree person! I haven't been that person since, and that was 10-almost 11 years ago! I miss that me SO damn much! Now, I hate my dead-end job, I have no zest for life, I am depressed AF (have even been suicidal a lot lately), all my efforts to get a better job have been for naught, the economy keeps me trapped living with abusive parents, and I just...I don't know what to do! I feel like I've done everything right, and nothing's working! It's miserable! I just want to be happy again! ;A;
Haven't shed a single tear in over a decade, but this video almost got me because I've been feeling this sense of dread and lack of genuine identity for such a long time. The sad thing is I don't believe there's any going back for the human race; we just keep digging further and destroying everything around us along with ourselves. History not only repeats itself but does so exponentially as technology advances. This is why the sentiment of "being born in the wrong era" is such a common and relatable feeling. We were never meant to live in this dystopia we have created for ourselves.
I’m 41 , been searching for my passion, I hate work that feels meaningless to me, and haven’t found it yet , this video helped me with an idea of sitting still and listening from within , I will give it a shot and hope it helps , thank you
I'm 48 and I'm just starting to get a vague whiff of what my purpose is. I was raised by a devouring mother who taught me that what I really want out of life is freaking irrelevant and I'm a huge jerk for even wondering it is. This is a common problem for a lot of people who had parents who are abusive or abandoning. When I found that out, I started to question myself and it wasn't until then that I started to realize that all these years I have really been out of touch with my true self.
I’m 51 and changing careers from the arts to something more stable and calm. This hustle and grind culture is poison. I grew up a child actor and saw from the inside how money and fame don’t equal happiness. Meaningful work that brings a sense of purpose and enough money to feel safe, and balancing that with a loving support system does. Life is about finding yourself. Asking, “What do I really want.”
I was forced out of an acting career due to a bad on set injury and Covid causing my agent to shut up shop. Focusing on working as a trainer/consultant now. What line of work have you transitioned to?
The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?. Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires. Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.
Im turning 40 and just realized that I think I feel a bit without purpose..my job has no meaning to me even though I went to law school much later in life but once I achieved that, I realized, I hate sitting behind a desk not making a meaningful contribution...I have my kids and husband which Im grateful for, but careerwise, I feel sooo unfilfilled...
I always tell people that don't get bored because of my many hobbies such as playing music, painting, learning a new language. BUT whenever I take a break from those activities, I look at the reality of my life which is alone, without parents or close friends around, just my dog that is literally my emotional support angel, and that makes me feel sad that I am alone.
Academic over-achiever here. The plan was college, find a wife along the way, raise a family. The purpose for me has ALWAYS been family. Due to money, my sister having a near fatal car wreck, military deployment, and just...life, finishing college ended up taking 10 years. 10 years of working full-time and school full time, or working full time and supporting my sister's recovery, or being in a combat zone. By the time I got there, I realized nobody wanted to be MY wife and I had delayed truly trying to build a career for so long, I was behind everyone else. Now I find myself with no realistically achievable purpose in life, and take my word for it, you DO NOT want to be here. If you're that lonely, likely relationships in some form is a part of your purpose and you NEED to put a priority on it. Do whatever you have to to define that purpose and work towards it EVERY day.
@@kareemdavis1500 because his eyes are sick. our current society sickens us by denaturalizing us until we are blind to what we are naturally drawn to and is good for us.
Oh my god, I needed this video! I am part of a family that lacks imagination. I want to write books and draw characters and I have been beat down to believe that that does not bring you money. I am 40 and currently writing my first book. As a Puerto Rican I also got this.
I'm 19 years old. These past few month I've had a real hard time figuring out what I want to do in life. I feel like I should have a reason for being here, but I can't pin point it in my brain. After watching this everything Dr. K said describing someone lacking a purpose describes me perfectly. I think my mind has soaked in so much content that I'm losing my sense of self. I feel like I don't even know who I am. I'm hoping to change this mindset by using the exercises in this video. I really needed to see this much love
Bro you still have a chance some of us halfway through our 20s still don’t have it figured out. Most of us ended up here because we prioritized having fun your age or just simply didn’t understand BALANCE. Good luck bro 🤝
@Dowsk1 You are only 19, keep learning about the world and trying new things, and eventually you will find paths towards what you want to do. Also keep an open mind.
I'm 35, and I still don't have it all figured out. You're 19. Pick a major, pick a job, talk to people, and just do some stuff. 10 years may seem like a long time now, but in 10 years, if you start something, you'll be amazed at where you can end up.
I felt exactly the same way and still do occasionally. You need to actually do something and start moving towards something, things will get clearer with time as long as you keep going. When you don't know what to do with your life, soaking up information will just paralyze and confuse you further because you get so much conflicting information from seemingly smart and successful people. That's my experience at least.
I'm 18 myself, and sometimes, I really get what you're saying, not knowing who I am. To be honest, I still don't know who I am to be honest. However, I find solace in holding to what I believe in, and my morals, and living my life to the best of my ability. I find more solace in the fact that even if I don't know who I am or what I'm doing, that I have a moral compass, and I'll gravitate to those similar, and in doing so, I believe I'll find myself in the future wherever that may be. I think to myself "If I were to die tomorrow, would I be satisfied?", and to be honest, I was deeply unnerved for a long time with that question, but I believe, at least for me, that you can find value in the attempt. That the attempt to be better or follow what you believe is important, and should be valued regardless of if you fail or succeed. We're all on this Journey together and I'm with you all the bro, best of luck!
Discovering Hidden Time Wealth has been one of the best things I've done for my productivity. It feels like I’ve finally cracked the code to overcoming procrastination.
When I owned my youth program for gamers our motto was "Play with a PURPOSE" without defining what their purpose should be. Super helpful video, thank you!
Thank you for this video. As a healthcare provider, with a beautiful family, I find myself asking these questions a lot recently, and I feel that light, love, and happiness are what I aspire to. The grind culture and the retirement (FIRE) mindset is safe, but may not be a satisfying goal/outcome for most. I know it’s not for me.
These videos are so much better without the Twitch Chat on the side. You know who your audience is. I can concentrate on Dr. K without habitually reading random things.
Best video on the subject. You are so right. With social media we are all becoming the same and that's why nobody's happy. Nobody knows who he truly is and what gives sense to his life. Indeed boredom is difficult sometimes but it is truly amazing, it allows us to connect with ourselves again.
The explanation about the phases of boredom are 100% correct. I used to literally just sit and lie down on my bed and do nothing. It was hard for the first few minutes, but I knew that after a small while, I would enter a phase of deeper mental awareness and introspection. I discovered _alot_ of things after the break up with my ex, since I spent so much time doing absolutely nothing.
Being able to do nothing, without feeling like you are missing out on anything or requiring external stimulation is one of the most rewarding and important states that a human being can be in - in fact - it is absolutely what coming to terms with life and yourself is all about!
As an Asian American expectations have really taken a serious toll on myself. There’s almost like a quota where you have to obtain fame and prestige before you die in order to make your parents finally proud of you. It sucks but it’s the truth. I’ve been sucked into this trying to get into all of the major stem schools only to feel terrible everyday and feel like I have zero self worth. It’s incredibly scary seeing how many other Asians are in this same exact situation only to become another part of a statistic due to these desires of prestige and fame.
That's super interesting to read for me, because I live in Austria and there's only a small percentage of asians here, so it seems foreign to me. In your experience, why do your parents expect so much from you? Is it because they just want you to be "better" than them, or is there a different reason?
Word bro, when I was a kid my dad would always drill into my head that I need to go to college and get a bachelors degree he didint care what I liked he didn't acknowledge my opinions about college and what I wanted to do with my life, I guess thats how asian parents are bro 🤷♂️
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul. And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created. From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it. For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
If your family has been in the US for a couple generations before you...have your parents met these expectations themselves? Being a first gen immigrant is one thing. But I don't get the parent's attitude after they've been born in the US (or Canada or France or the UK, etc), and not met their own expectations in their own lives, and yet are obviously fine.
With ADHD, it's really easy to get in touch with my inner self. I ask it "What should I do with life?" and it says "The person who invented the escalator must have been like 'Hey, let's make stairs... but moving.'" And off I go into the wonderland of moving footpaths.
Nobody explains things like you do. Dr K you are literally like the personification of the professional all those who've been forever set on the existential quest and felt like there was something wrong with them because of it have been dreaming of listening to for a lifetime. Can't get enough of your incredible content!
Feeling this a lot lately … I’m a vet nurse of 15 years. I feel like I was meant to do this but I’m now 35, I still love animals but don’t feel passion towards the job anymore. No idea what I want to do. I’m sick of working long 10 hour days and not earning enough for what I do. I have a loving family and amazing, real friends. I’m single because of deep seated self-esteem issues and internet dating is hell. Social media and mindless scrolling is sucking up all my time. I have no motivation or hobbies. So stuck …
35 here too. Need a huge life change. Have you thought of volunteering to help animals? I feel like animals brought to the vet are already looked after, of course they still need you, but not the way feral or homeless ones do. I just adopted a lame pony with health issues and it feels great, though very difficult. I can't scroll for hours, because I have to check on the pony. Also, good luck with the online dating, it IS possible to find someone good for you. Going on 7 years with a dr I met online and I dragged him out of the city to live in the country and he loves it
Literally my life - I'm 35... I decided to escape this all (not being a nurse but working in machine industry for 20 years), quit finally my job and got myself a camper to travel around. I'm partly happy, but the general melody of my life is still the same. One good thing is, even when it's really painful, is to work on what has hurt me so deeply when I was a child to make me feel so unlovable. Finally I feel trapped the same way.
I'm a 34 year old male and different industry, but other than those, echo everything you said here. I really don't have much reason to complain ( well paying job in an industry I enjoy, good family & a few close friends), but just unsatisfied with life, and with the world today don't know how to get unstuck.
What part of the country? Some places aren't conducive to just finding a life. I often wonder if too many people think their job is their purpose. I never did that, made a business just to produce money but drop it like a bad habit at the end of every day. Made sure it gave me what I wanted most which is time, and found out that even though I had that, nobody else did. So I had time all by myself. Having dogs really helped, moving across the country to hang out with friends that prioritize time now.
I feel this in my soul. Been in my industry the same amount of time. Abstaining from a lot of types social media helps somewhat. You could try and see if you could fill up that time with something else, like a hobby or something you enjoy... Little things like that have helped me and just having connectedness to others, friends, family. Good vibes your way, you'll figure it out. Sometimes these things take time. Just stay hopeful😃
I go to a job I absolutely hate every day, and when I apply to jobs that I feel fit me better, I never get interviews with them. I am competitive and hate looking bad and losing, and I feel like no matter how hard I try at my job, its just a struggle to do and everyone else makes the work look and seem easy. I just want to actually start getting good at some type of career. I don’t care what it pays as long as it fits me and my strengths.
I'm at the same place now. I recently lost my job at the library after working my ass off to get a masters in library science. The field is changing drastically and has become way too political and there's a lot of technology use that burns me out. I have to move back in with my mom now so its been rough. I am doing a degree now in CSI and I feel like this aligns a little better with my actual personality and investigative tendencies. I'm still not sure what I want to do or be though and am still learning about myself.
I took a LONG break from everything last year, and just kind of sat in my thoughts. After being paranoid and anxious for years I sat and analyzed myself, my core beliefs and thoughts. I found my motivation and will to live through it
im still at the stage of finding motivation. was highly successful but all my core beliefs were shatered after covid, im still in the process of thinking and contemplating why i am here.
Way to go, dude! I had a sort of "long break from everything" for a year and a half myself, and it's sort of coming together! It's this weird thing about suddenly being able to actually take initiative in my life, just kinda like "just GO for it, man"; a feeling I haven't been able to feel in ages. Hope you're doing well :D
Kinda like René Descartes emptying his metaphorical basket of apples, analyzing them for any signs of rot, and placing them back again into the basket.
I became a doctor because my parents and grandparents wanted it. As a woman, I was told to get married right after graduation despite my own views on following a successful career path I was already on, chosen by my parents. After marriage I had to move away to a country that did not allow me to practice medicine as an expatriate and despite a decade of struggle and rejection I remained unemployed and unlicensed. I have now finally decided to let go and make a career switch, gone back to graduate school. It was something I wanted to do for a long, long time but didn't have the motivation because I was so depressed and everything felt hopeless. And I would be constantly trying to numb it/not think about it by watching videos on TH-cam, read books, scroll social media. It's just a flash of inspiration that came out of nowhere and made me apply and get admission to a masters program all within like 3 days! My point is , for the first time in ages I finally have a purpose free of anyone else's expectations, by my own decision, and it just completely changed my mindset. I feel free
I'm 36 and still trying to right the ship... You see success in individuals around you who are in your age range or even younger, and the expectation is that by now, you should have it all figured out. Be established, married with kids and building into retirement...It's a tough pill to swallow but I won't let it crush me. Just gotta keep searching.
34 here and just want to end it all most of the time, because I am trapped in a cycle of wake up, work my ass off for shit pay, go home, eat, and try to rest a little before going to bed. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Nothing matters, and nothing I do is of any consequence.
The reality is that a lot of it is fake. You see that guy with the brand spanking new mercedes, but the reality is he's paying like $700 a month for the next 8 years just to even sniff at affording it, completely neutering himself of financial freedom for the sake of building an image. You see the couple with a house and children, but then it may be they aren't compatible and it's too late, leading a life that's making an unhappy marriage inevitable. Or the kids are keeping them down from things they haven't tried in life. I realized that in reality, most of us don't have it figured out and the people that look like they do, likely don't have things figured either.
@@aland9984 I couldn't agree with you more. Everything is leased now - cars, homes, holidays, which creates this false sense of "being late to the party". But ask those people if they're truly happy - that spark of panic in their eyes explains it all. They're too affraid to have that conversation internally in their heads. I think most people forgets that you're not your job, you're not your car. Material items don't define you as a human being.
Boredom hasn't ever really been an issue for me. My mom said i was such a good baby I'd just entertain myself. Through nature and nurture i was mostly into reading, and living inside my own head. So much so it's hard to actually interact with others
Same here. It's always been hard to relate to people who get bored. Life is endlessly fascinating if you want it to be. You don't need much when you are introspective from the door. Most other people go outward for their stimuli. People like us go inward.
I used to be like you, till I got so interested in myself and nature I developed delusions.. now on meds to make me normal and am bored to the bone ... I hate normal !!
@@deniss7476 i dont think you developed delusions because you got very interested in yourself and nature. you probably went through a lot of mental stress and without seeing a better way to cope you imagined and warped your interests in such a way for your stress to be relieved.
This is seriously an amazing and insightful talk. And it actually explains why travelling had such a profound impact on me. Thank you for putting this out there.
Berserk got the point across well. The whole beginning of the book is basically talking about dreams and how its important to have one (basically a goal in this case). For Griffith it was to own his own kingdom no matter what and he looked down upon anyone who did not have a dream of their own as he saw them as living pointless lives, Casca's dream was to be Griffiths sword (metaphor obviously) so that she could help him achieve his dream and be part of him. But all through the story Guts is trying to find his and is struggling, he just goes from one battle to another fighting on behalf of others and to survive but has no clear goal or destination. Then he talks to a blacksmith named Godo who explains to him that his dream/goal in life was to excel at his craft and he explained that he didn't really know why he wanted to do that but he enjoyed watching the sparks that ignited from the hammer hitting the metal. It was that one simple thing that brought him pure joy and entertainment in what he was doing and it pushed him to pursue his craft and become one of if not THE best sword maker around. Guts ended up finding his dream from this in which he too noticed and enjoyed the sparks of his sword clashing against an opponents. Thats when he realised he never originally understood his craft of fighting and war but he came to the same realisation as Godo that he simply enjoyed the thrill of the fight and that his goal was to keep fighting stronger opponents and swing his blade. You may ask "why are you bringing up the plot of a manga in detail?" well because the point I gathered from the story was its important to have a dream/goal but it doesn't have to be some grand thing or the same as everyone elses. It can be something large and extravagant like becoming wealthy or famous etc similar to Griffith, it can be to help others or a certain someone reach their goal like Casca's or it can simply be to excel in something you enjoy or to keep doing something that you enjoy like Guts and Godo. It may take some time before you discover it but its out there and it could be a lot more simpler than you think.
One thing I realized about when he started talking about boredom and how it works. I realized that I've been 100% bored in life and have done nothing to get out of that state other than video games because I thought it would help. However, when he said that we need to learn how to reconnect with our internal selves and such. I realized that the times where I cry for no apparent reason is where I am finally getting a taste and sense of what my internal self is telling me. And just by hearing that, it's just now as I'm watching, helped me realize what I need to do in order to not feel bored with life and to help find purpose again. This stuff right here is the stuff I needed to hear.
Hi, what is it you need to do ? I’m sorry if that’s a dumb question but I keep asking myself, watching videos, telling my therapist. Nothing just seems to click
@@alternateVSNS At the time, I was in an extremely stressful job that put me in a rough spot. I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do in life, cooking in a restaurant, or cooking in general, despite having gone to culinary school, so I quit. I went from 4 hours per week, RIP, to 48 hours, hence the stress, on top of being 1 of 4 working in this high end restaurant as a prep cook. Cooking and such is not my passion like it used to be. So I need to find what I'm passionate about and use that. I realize I should've elaborated on that, lol.
@@aldahviirthedovah8148 right ! this video helped you shine a light on the malaise then ? thank you for clarifying, it's a big journey ahead of us. nonetheless, being aware of it and wanting to change is our most precious weapon !
@@aldahviirthedovah8148 I highly recommend exercise. It has helped me a lot. I specifically do weight lifting and I have purpose now in watching the numbers go up and working towards lifting heavier weight, but you can do the same thing with like swimming or sports or any for of exercise really.
@@TDYT103 I've been getting back into exercise recently, and I found a way that works for me and is giving me results too. It definitely lifts my mood when I finish my session for the day. And obviously I try to not overdo it. I just try to stick to my schedule and up the difficulty whenever I feel I'm ready for more. It's great, especially since I can do a lot without needing to buy some fancy equipment like other hobbies.
I am in vietnam for 30 days now and people here are very happy and they work 10 hours a day. One of the reasons i think is being in touch with ur family and friends so much. Family abd friends ALWAYS eat together. They care alot for each other. And vietnam is a poor country overall. Most of them don‘t have much but if you got a good bond with family and friends your life becomes more PURPOSEFUL. Living for yourself will not make u happy in the long run. I had to find that out myself. So yea i can recommend anyone to take good care of your best friends and family. Taking care of other people financially (for example as a man) or householdwhise (example woman) gives you PURPOSE in live. They have a roll to PURSUE and this roll has impact on others. I really hope all of you im the comments find peace and a good family if you don‘t already got one. For me i find a bit purpose in working as a nurse. I enjoy helping others it gives me purpose in life. But being there financially for someone else can also give purpose. PURPOSE is the REASON why you do something.
Yesterday I planned suicide again. And I’ve started to watch pörn again. I’ve lost meaning yet AGAIN and I feel empty of tries to recover. This video made me feel a tiny bit of hope for 5 seconds, which means more than you know. So thank you for making it.
Focus your mind on things you're grateful for. It appears you are a very physically healthy person, so why not be so grateful for that? Also, connect yourself with others. It's very important; connect yourself with friends and some family as much as possible♡
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I've realized that when i'm not distracting myself with videos, games, music, or anything that takes my attention away, I start to really think about my life situation and it makes me depressed because of where i'm at. So it's like a cycle of "yea I know I should change but i'd rather do this" and fall back into attention distracting things to kind of numb this depression. I know this and yet can't break free from the cycle.
Hey man, I think the best way to go about this is try and feel or at least think about what would get the real undistracted you to be happy, and start doing those things even tho you dont feel like doing them
fr tho all i do smoke opps but i can’t stop
It is the reason why most people distract themselves. Being alone with your thoughts will feel bad, you're not alone with this experience.
Same. But I noticed I can also escape reality by getting wrapped up in something productive, like cleaning, so I'm trying to find productive escapism now. Some escapism is good - Life can suck sometimes and you don't need to think about your problems 24/7.
I was the absolute definition of hopeless and fully invested in the idea that I was going to just end up killing myself in the end but I'm telling you there's a way out. I can't tell you because I'm not you, but I guarantee there are many many fundamental flaws in the way you see the world, really try your best to view yourself as this outside spectator as much as possible. Allow yourself to identify outside of your own struggles and try to view everything as objectively as possible. When something hurts, really dig deep, free yourself from distractions, and ask what EXACTLY hurts. It's never going to be an overnight process but I promise you there's a way out. Coming from that feeling of complete hopelessness, it really pains me that I can't just give all the other people who feel the same all the answers.
I wish you well, and I hope you found some kind of meaning in my words.
The most mentally well I've ever been was in college, because my apartment building was right in front of a forest full of hiking trails. I could literally walk out my back door and into the woods. The time I spent in those woods with myself was invaluable.
My college legit had a spot called "college woods" that had pristine old growth forests with well maintained trails. I miss those woods.
@@360critique yup, the woods behind my apartment building actually belonged to the college too, it was called "college camp". It was rarely used outside of the astronomy and biology departments but those of us who did knew it was the best part of campus. Definitely one of the best reasons to attend a rural campus.
Interesting how many of the great thinkers would either walk in the woods for long hours or sit on a sailboat.
Nature. Way cheaper than therapy.
Sounds a lot like UCSC! The redwoods out there were lovely
I'm 33 and I've felt like it was all pointless since I was 16. All I do is distract myself. No ambition, no passion, no direction. I wish things were different.
I'm about to be 30 I feel the same and get tons of stress symptoms to go with it all.
Stop believing there is some inherent point to your being 🤷🏼♂️, do you have any animals? If you do do you think they are concerned about why they are here?
In ways we have become too intelligent for our own good and think too much, strip away all of the media and what you are told and realise you are just here, in the present, there is no meaning and there doesn't need to be, whatever meaning you have in life can be created by you, be it hobbies, relationships with people, do you have children?
Use the feel this way until I realized the point of life is family and love.
Same shit man
Go learn meditation. There's free Vipassana courses all over. You need focused time just processing internal stimuli!
After having such a horribly traumatic childhood with a very toxic upbringing, I find a lot of peace in just being able to wake up everyday, having a job to go to, going to gym, cooking food, etc. I get the privilege to do the basics, to have a boring routine, and to live a quiet, simple life. Something as a child I never thought I'd get to experience. I don't want to grind, I don't want to be remembered or make a name for myself, I don't even care who is and isn't proud of me. I'm proud of me. I just think its amazing I'm alive and get to experience life as it is happening.. even if that is seen as 'pointless and meaningless' to many others. I honestly don't need more meaning than that
Yeah same. Im much happier than people around me living in far more luxurious conditions but this was the trade off for all my suffering. Kinda feels heart warming in a way that sticking around actually did pay off and i get to explore this beautiful world with all my limbs and body intact.
@@Arin-3 I couldn't agree more. I no longer wish things could have been different or have regret for all the pain and trauma I went through, because it ultimately gave me the perspective I needed to truly enjoy life and being alive.
"To see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a flower / to hold Infinity in the palm of my hand, and Eternity in an hour" - William Blake.
There is so much quiet joy to be had in a life lived simply. The world is so rich to someone who simply steps outside their door and bends down, with fingers to touch, eyes to see and ears to hear. Why strive for more? I admire you, @wanderfuljes.
Reading the "im proud of me " bit made me tear up...we sound kinda similar...I came from severe neglect and which lead to parentification..now I'm just happy I have basics...God bless
Yes - people value life and things of life only when they don’t have and work towards it to have it because they really want it … then it’s so satisfying to have once they get it…
When they already have everything, then people have no motivation to do anything
At 32 I've come to the decision to quit working a meaningless job I'm gonna be a stay at home dad until I find my purpose. I'd rather work myself to the bone for my kids and household than for some stranger just to help get them richer. My wife makes more than I do in 1 day than I make in a whole week. And She is happy with her position and fulfilled in what she does. She just wants me to be happy. This is my moment to break the mold get myself together and finally snap out of this depression.
Go full-on for it man!
You made the right decision and I'm happy that you built the courage for doing the change man!
W husband
TL:DR - a lot of jobs can be meaningless unless to connect few dots to them that give them more meaning.
I personally love photography and videography. I even started a high school for video technician. But I did bad at school because I was lazy and bad at prioritizing, so I ditched it. Along the way i did few gigs and freelance jobs as a videographer, and understood one thing from all of it. I want to do this on my own terms. I want this as my hobby, not as my job. After which I "returned to real life", and started working as electrician - field I was good at in middle school.
Electrotechnician was a field that I graduated in my high school. It took 2016 to 2021 and failed high school, after i graduated middle school, for me to realise that I should start to connect at least some of the dots in my life. AKA - finished electrician school - go and work as electrician. You dont have to do it whole life - that is what i say to myself - but at least do it in order to be good at something.
My plan is to have 5 years of work experience in that field, before I try something again with videography and photography. Three years left atm....I learned a lot which did not in school, and I had a whole lot of expereince with random people and situations. It even lead me to feeling that I want to learn more languages. Now the last thing that is left is to get better at saving money for the future use.
I hope you start connecting the dots. Hold strong, be good, and along that way I hope that way your depression will find its way out itself.
F brother, I feel for you
I am 31 years old and my big problem in life is feeling that nothing makes sense anymore, there is no experience that makes me excited to wake up the next day, the emptiness is infinite and day by day my head kills me despite the fact that beautiful people surround me . Pretty much my whole life I've had this feeling and all I want is to turn it off. I really hope nobody feels this way, is painful 😓
Im 24 and I feel ya. The modern world feels hollow and demoralising
Brooo im same age and I have the same feeling. Nothing excites me now😢
@@makramshehabeddine7591 there must be something
I've felt that way and I guarantee you when you start noticing little things and appreciating them, it gives you love and peace. Appreciate colors, smells, people doing stuff. Or you can start with yourself, if you like being kind and help people, go out and do that. Don't judge, just feel what warms your heart. Don't judge people or things for the things you hate or dislike, appreciate what makes them beautiful. Other example is watching Pixar movies, they're colorful and at the end they give you a sense of meaning.
@@carlissantillan1225 I don't know if it's something you can learn, I see beauty in literally everything, but I don't know if it's something I could teach someone.
This is seriously insane this is just available for free on TH-cam. What an incredibly valuable and talented person you truly are.
Nothing is free. Google how much ad revenue someone with 1.69 million subscriber makes. You might not be paying him, but advertisers are paying him an insane amount of money to make this content.
Good for him if money is his God. To me, its 100% free because I'm not paying a cent and I don't even get advertisements because I use an ad blocker, so I'm not even paying for a TH-cam premium service. I could say I'm paying for the electricity that runs my phone. I'll give you that. But that's peanuts compared to what information like this is usually sold for on the free market.
@@Islas_Canarias He's not giving you step by step points on how to do anything. It's all feel good tropes.
I support the dissemination of this information to a wide audience via TH-cam but you could also have figured this all out by yourself
I disagree, people need to be taught how to be people, otherwise babies would never throw a single tantrum.
I'm here cuz I'm trying to find a reason to keep going. I truly feel that once I lose my parents. I have nothing left. No friends. No skills. No passion.. hope it all works out
My parents are gone. I have friends and skills but no passion. Your fears are well founded. I hope you find a reason to keep going, even if just to honor their memory.
I'm sorry to hear you lost your parents. Just remember that you ARE a continuation of your parents. You are alive because they wanted you to be. Their blood and genes continue into the future because of you. I'm sure that they would be happy and proud of you for just being alive. Don't lose hope! Life can be tough, but through the struggle, there is beauty in it. I hope you continue on and find your purpose. Just being alive is a worthwhile journey, we just sometimes lose sight of that. Wish you the best!
I feel the same way
Once my mom passes it’s just me.. 😢
Me too, buddy, at 53 I have no idea about anything I barely feel anything but not really negative almost kind of feels neutral.
"We're the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War's a spiritual war... our Great Depression is our lives" - Tyler Durden, Fight Club
no great depression, bull, shit
this quote didn't age well at all
No purpose maybe, but our place was having about 20 "once in a lifetime events" happening in 4 years haha
@@noobdosjogos During the great depression people starved to death. No one is starving to death in the west just because of the economy. So yes, we don't have a great depression.
I can do without a great war but we are on the right track for one so yeah.. fingers crossed I guess
Everytime I’m struggling with my mental health Dr. K drops a new banger
A banger that applies perfectly to the current struggle.
lol
So basically every other day?
@@reallyanotheruser7290 Yes
Yeah, that's called a cycle of addiction.
“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.”~ Alan Watts
Bingo! This is the answer right here!🤦🏾♂️
If it's so plain, obvious and simple, why does almost everyone keep asking the question? Watts was wrong. That simple.
I will happily be just alive, JUST give me $$$ to pay my bills for a year upfront...
Free spirits unite
Mr watts is such a great speaker,
That knowledge should be given to every new human entering this world
I love how i've been going to professional therapy for 10 years literally asking how to do this and a 20 minute video explained it better.
That’s why I stopped going to “professional” therapy
They're paid to ask you questions you already ask and tell you things you already know. They make money off your problems. I need a friend or family member to listen to me and maybe even help me out a little bit instead of ignoring me my entire life.
@@jakeballou5147 I agree.
At best, most professional therapists are really bad at their jobs and at worst they are actively refusing to help you
maybe you should have changed already :-D I have had 4 sessions with mine and all of them blew my mind in terms of understanding.
2:24 this hits hard as someone who is perpetually swinging back and forth between the grindset and just letting life pass by and still definitely has no idea what i'm doing at all.
The worst is when you find yourself grinding, with no clue why you are or what you’re even doing. It just feels like you’re always busy with no time for yourself
@@bdbdkdfotbrveiw facts
I think the problem is that very few people get to see their labor improve the lives of the people around them. I'm sure being a farming peasant sucked in a million ways, but at least you get the satisfaction of seeing your family and physically present community eat. The professions that have that immediate tangible small community impact are poorly paid government jobs (teaching, emergency services) or locked behind an amount of education that may be unobtainable (ex: doctor, judge). Want to just go back to farming? Hope you have millions of dollars worth of land and tools.
@@bbouncy12 great insight. Humanity has pulled one lever to figure out how to live longer while ignoring or even pushing the happiness lever the other direction
bipolar
this guy is such a clear thinker, he really nails the feeling of the 18- 30 year olds in today's world, those who spent their youth on the internet looking for guidance and help.
He really is, it gives me so much hope knowing that Dr K understands and that im not alone with these struggles.
Im 34 😭🤣
I’m 37 but it’s still true. It’s a broad problem
Spring chickens! I am 52 and still screwed as fuck.
My life currently just feels like I'm existing
The windows XP Bliss background... times sure felt simpler back then for some reason.
@@OzAbi I think it's even deeper than that, but I can't explain it.
honestly im not even existing
@@transsexual_computer_faery Who said that?
@@gadiac89 me 😭
I can't believe this is fucking free for everyone. This speaks to alot of people like myself. I remember one time my father once told me to always do what I thought was right. He never once pressured me to become someone else or chase after a dream that didn't belong to me. My life has been filled with so many adventures from being a chef for eight years living in different countries, to being an ambassador for a hotel, learning multiple languages, going to raves/festivals and so on so forth. Because of my father and his ability to be understanding, I lived my chaotic life in such peace.
My dad is such a lovely man and such a role model that I wanted to be just like him. As I get older, the more I realized that purpose is something you find along the way of life.
Dropping comments into the endless void, but just gotta say I love your contribution to the world. You've helped more than you might ever know. Stay well and thank you!
I see you, brother. Glad you're doing better!
i see your light in the endless void.
The endless void is sometimes where you find the most earnest comments. Also happy for your improvement!
The algorithm appreciates all interaction.
All praise the algorithm!
I see you bruh and I feel the same. You matter in this void for sure.
I've been systematically destimulating myself the past few months and it's worked wonders. I've never found it so easy to maintain good habits like exercise, sleep, and diet. Meditation, this channel, and just unplugging way more often is so helpful.
Being able to catch yourself early when you start to slip is critical as well. But having a higher baseline enjoyment of life by doing less is so satisfying
Good to hear from someone who's actually tried it for a while.
Same here, i always was a procrastinator and now i see my friends saying shit like "I need to clean my tiny room so bad but i never do" and im like "Holy shit my entire HOUSE is super clean and i just didnt even noticed i had this power in me lol"
Any tips on how to stay consistent? Didnt do anything but jerk off smoke weed play games and eat shit food during quarantine and its hard to get back on track
share what've you been doing broo
@@daredevil2724 Temptation bundling might help. Those "bad" habits can be useful. Cook healthy meal = garbage snacks as a little 'side'. 1h Games = 30min walk. Then you can get into combos: fold laundry = jerk off = shower = get dressed in nice clean clothes. Lol whatever works
I am a long time gamer and work in Network Security, so I spend a lot of time in front of a Screen. I recently got a dog and have found that going for an hour without headphones really helped me decompress and process.
Lmao do we live the same life? I'm an avid gamer who works in information security and who just got a dog a week and a half ago. I've also found it very beneficial to get out and reconnect and it's inspired me to try and get into playing football again!
I've stopped wearing headphones on my work commutes, even 30 minutes a day helps
During my first year of uni, I heavily underestimated how good for my mental health a solid walk is. It's unreal
Yeah people think listening to music or whatever is a way to relax but sitting in silence waiting is the best
Without headphones? how about trying going without a tv, computer or phone screen?
As an Asian American who just graduated college and is on a gap year (I'm 22), I couldn't agree more. In high school, everything I do is to "get into a good college." It worked: I got into a top-10 school, and my family and my peers were so happy for me. But in college, without the order I was used to, I was aimless: I choose classes so I can at bare-minimum graduate with a "useful degree", and I only join clubs because they are "fun", not because I want to build things up for my future self.
An especially hard moment of realization was in an internship interview, when the interviewer asked "why are you passionate about this job?" I basically froze. I have no idea. I'm not passionate about it. I wouldn't apply to this job if I didn't have to.
Luckily, I am currently on a break from everything, school and job. I've had many hours of depression since I no longer have a routine, but from trying to understand my feelings, I was able to discover a lot of things: what I wish I got out of college, what I would have done if I can do it over. If I had known these four years ago, who knows what I would have accomplished? But, I was so preoccupied with work and every commitment during college, that I had no idea what I want.
Thinking back, it would have been a great idea to take a gap year sometime early in my college years. Right now I just think back at the opportunities I missed, that I won't be able to regain unless I do a graduate school. Even then, it's different. Part of me still wants to relive college, and avoid the additional responsibilities that comes with a post-undergrad life (working a job, cooking my own food, finding my own ways to meet people, etc.). It's a lot becoming a responsible, self-sufficient adult, but I'm slowly working on it. Certainly, this video seems to push me in the right direction.
God bless you , hope you find happiness
I'm financially in a good situation with no debt but i just feel i was forced into existence and life is a game i dont want to play. I dont want to be in a relationship, i dont want kids, i have very few hobbies and feel an increasing disconnect from people because society is getting really stupid.
I'm the opposite, I'm constantly overwhelmed with emotions and want to achieve many things at once that I end up doing nothing
And I feel both of these responses , 🥲
@@uareGodintheflesh444 lmaooo well aren't we all so diverse
I can relate to everything that you mentioned. The meaninglessnes of being inside of a hamsterwheel that never stops turning is beyond demoralizing and the people are just becoming more wild each and every year..
@@LiNa-zr9jl perfectionism is procrastination manifested
One thing I noted in my grandparents is that they took a great deal of pride in doing something well. In giving whatever they were doing their very best. We don't make very much by hand anymore. We have very little sense of tangible accomplishment. Those who do physical or tangiable labor are generally looked down on.
A good amount of men in this county barley know how to use a hammer
Agreed, where I am now there is alot of cheap labour from india, philipines, etc. which makes manuel labour utterly useless to employers yet I like doing it (as long as I am paid) and have a natural tendency towards it. it's really annoying unless your family owns a business or something.
@@anelbegic2780 I work as a machinist for a family owned business. I’m turning metal while they’re on sail boats lol machines cost too much to start on my own
@Jbeezy Agreed. But why should they? So they can be looked down on and made fun of? The arrogance of Western society and celebrating the white collar and spitting on the blue has left us with not enough people with plumbing and electrical skills, not to mention framers.
@@1alayzzia I guess it’s all perspective because if I watch someone try to use a hammer who doesn’t know how to, I’ll lmao.
If I could suggest something... back when I was in college, studying to get into medical school, at my peak levels of stress I discovered an incredible method of meditation that brought me back to earth, at moments where I even felt suicidal.
I had a walk in closet, hidden away from the rest of the apartment, I sat inside it, flicked the light off and it was complete darkness. Couldn't even see my hand infront of my face. I sat in there on the floor for 30 minutes 3/4 times a week. It was an incredible experience. Zero sensory stimulation, no noise, no vision, just you and your thoughts.
I love zero sensory. You can transport yourself to a calm or rewarding scene in seconds. It's a complete break from everything.
had a similar experience, but just me sleeping much sooner in the evening, just to wake up at around 3AM, my room was in total darkness, no one talk to me, no phone, no noise, i usually lay there for around 1 hour before going back to sleep, although my sleep schedule is pretty f-ed up at that time, i sorted my thought each night and got myself back together after 2 years, and gave what i thought about my career was a wrong choice another try, now i'm not exactly happy, but i'm getting there
I feel this except I'm homeless and live in my car
@@FuhzyLiquids Good luck
Gonna get myself some black out curtain :)
As a mother of 2 young men in their 20's, 1000% agree!! Thank you for speaking the difficult truth in such a way we can all understand relate learn from despite gender, age! Grateful my sons follow you & shared your channel with me. Thank you Dr K 🎉🎉😇 🙏🏼
For me, it’s being disconnected to my work. Trying to find a job that pays a living wage where I’m connected to my work is hard. Back in the day, people would make shoes, sew clothes, or bake for a living and got to see the fruits of their labor. Nowadays modern jobs just entail filling out excel spreadsheets all day in an office with no windows or natural light. It’s actually soul crushing for creative people.
Filling out Excel sheets. ✅
Office with no windows or natural light. ✅
Feeling soul crushed for a (totally not) living wage. ✅
Are you watching a live feed of my life?
For sure, I always tell my friends I’m supposed to be in my father’s village counting beads but capitalism has me working bland 9-5
Plus, back then, if you wanted to be a writer, you could! You could find what you were good at and liked/loved and do it! Now, you can't (or at least, I'm not allowed because that's 'not realistic')! It's horrible!
@@beea4456 MOOOOOD! So true! I'd MUCH rather be doing this! (I like 'mind numbing' tasks like that! X'D)
Люди раньше целыми днями работали на фабриках по 16 часов в сутках. О чем речь?
Iroh from atla summed it up perfectly, “It’s time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you and what do you want?”
Good quote, good question.
dude, iroh is the reason I was even able to finally find purpose in life
Iroh from Avatar said "Life happens wherever are, whether you make it or not".. but he also said " just drink tea like a Mofo , with your loved ones" 😎 .
IVE BEEN ASKING THESE BIG QUESTIONS FOR YEARS
I credit ATLA for getting me into Buddhism and Hinduism and looking inward as I've aged into adulthood. That show, Aang and Iroh especially, had such a HUGE impact on my development as a person.
I’m a black guy but I also got crushed by expectation. When I was very young (30 now) my family used to tell me “you can be the first black president!” Good intentions, bad execution. I ended up developing schizoaffective disorder. Now I’m pursuing music cuz it’s the best feeling in the world
Got any music out yet or is it in the works? 🙂 Would love to check it out!
30 still young. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
@@_maymie still in the works! Getting close tho
@@coreyroberts47 you should come back and post it when you have something
Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys has the same disorder. So I can assure you that it has no hindrance on musical ability, and may actually enhance it due to seeing things in a unique way. You got this!
Notes for myself:
Stop externalising my attention (podcasts, social media, TH-cam etc). They numb our emotional circuits. Give myself quiet time, time to process emotions, think, find what I like.
Reach the end of thought. Let the thoughts run out. Go through boredom. Become sensitive to internal thoughts.
I think this is why people always reminisce about the past and how things were "better" back then before social media. We were living in a time where the only thing we COULD do was go outside and find ourselves. Now, it's hard to even find the time, energy or want to go outside, to unplug. It's way easier to walk to your couch and unlock your screen.
I saw a video recently where a guy said, if you make less than 50k a year, you can't afford to be watching tv, or surfing the internet, or jacking off. I think there's something to that. I'm 39 and remember a time withput the internet to distract me from creating stories and art.
And for us who DO want to get out and do crap, it all costs lots of money or is reliant on having people already in your life who also want to go out and do shit and not just sit around on their computer. Literally the only things to do around me without bleeding out money on a singlular day, go out to eat at a cheaper restraunt, some movies- which most want to do that at home now anyway- or go for a walk in a forest.
Like.. dont get me wrong, I do what i can but even in what I mentioned two require at least one other person, so point still very proven lol
@@cherriberri8373 you're making a lot of excuses for someone who claims "wants to go out and do crap".
Technology ruined our happiness
@@cherriberri8373 honestly same. One thing comes up into mind is walking in the park. Other than that everything else cost a certain amount of money that I don't want to spend.
the problem as i see it is that the best purpose for humans is to help other humans and to share joys and positive activity. but the modern world utterly rewards narcissism and resource acquisition. so if you pursue a more wholesome life, you're going to lose out versus the narcissists
This is it man. Something about working to earn money corrupts the work relationship. I'm not clocking in for my manager. I'm clocking in for me to earn money. I've had much better experiences with volunteer work/community service where there isn't such a feeling of obligation
Not completely. You can help people via training, positive management, providing health care, social work, etc. Some of these fields do make good money
People are also more anti social nowadays as well, which makes helping stranger harder. There is more social anxiety, depression, and social isolation these days, and Covid only made it get even worse.
Respectfully,, it’s like. How? How is someone else “getting ahead” materially/financially before they unexpectedly develop cancer/or suffer from a heart attack.., are they actually truly getting ahead? When you in contrast are already doing what you want with your short and limited time.
Winning is a very individually defined thing. The story of the fisherman and the business man touches on this. I'll briefly tell it here.
One day a fisherman was lying on a beautiful beach, with his fishing pole propped up and his line cast out into the sparkling blue sea. He was enjoying the warmth of the afternoon sun and the prospect of catching a fish.
Then, a business man came walking down the beach, trying to relieve some of the stress of his workday. He notices the fisherman and wonders why he is fishing instead of working harder to make a living for himself and his family.
"You won't catch many fish that way," said the businessman, "You should be working rather than lying on the beach!"
The fisherman looked up with a smile and replied, "And what would my reward be?"
"You could have bigger nets to catch more fish!" the businessman answered.
"And then what?" replied the fisherman.
"You will make money and be able to buy a boat, which means you can catch more fish!"
"And then what?"
The business man grew frustrated and began yelling at the fisherman. "Don't you understand? You can build up a fleet of fishing boats, sail all over the world, and let your employees catch fish for you!"
...
"And then what?"
The business man lashes out at the fisherman, "You could become so rich that you will never have to work for your living again! You could spend the rest of your life sitting on a beach, looking at the sunset! You won't have a care in the world!"
The fisherman smiles at the businessman and says, "What do you think I'm doing right now?"
-----
Very often in the modern day we are bombarded with ideas of materialism and consumerism. Money is the most important thing. You can buy good things and flex on people!!! This is very prevalent in the red pill manosphere, especially with figures like Tate, and Iman Ghadzi.
These men will never be satisfied with what they have -- they've said it themselves -- they always want more. If they see somebody with something they don't have, they'll want it and do anything to get it.
That's not freedom.
That's not happiness.
Money is nice yes, but it shouldn't be your final goal or even a metric of your success.
Your peace of mind and your life's alignment to your deeper purpose. That is what you should strive for. No amount of riches will bring that.
Help others first, focus on providing them value. The warm feeling at the end of the night knowing you made somebody's day genuinely better is the reward.
The external factors of money or people liking you is merely a bonus.
Chase your dreams bro, I'm rooting for you.
My dad died at 54 in his sleep from a massive heart attack. He never saved for retirement and just lived in the moment. He tried to enjoy his life to the fullest and despite the hardships he had in life, he achieved his dream to a certain degree.
Since he died, it's like my sense of purpose has completely changed. I have reasons to live and I'm starting to get out of this depression by concentrating what I wanna build in my life and what I actually wanna do. Enjoying life and surrounding myself with people who give me life is what helps me find purpose. Being afraid to live because of the back to back compounded grief I've had for the past 4 years has taught me that life isn't somewhere out there, far far away. Life is here right now, today, exactly where you are.
My dad also died at 54, due to aneurysm that led to a heart attack. He was the pillar of my beliefs, however that crumbled when he died along with his hopes and dreams of us going abroad. While he relaxes and enjoy his time. We weren't close, he had more time outside than with us so we develope a sense of estrangement of him but he was a good man, just a bit flawed on his pride and expectations of us. My life had been colorless when he left like a footprint in the sand. He was enjoying, he was happy but at the end why did his eyes revealed regret as he cried in his deathbed? I've tried to revive him but it was all for naught. I saw the light in his eyes vanish, as his body became stiff and his hand that was held by my mother became cold. I'm sorry I needed this..Life's been unfair, being bored isn't even in my mind anymore because my ADHD brain always brings back those memories. It's mind numbing, kinda psychotic and traumatic. I can't even frown anymore I always smile because I can't reveal that to my mother. I don't know what I'm talking anymore, I forget easily. I'm sorry...
Exactly 😮
@@ndreinschannel5683be a little selfish, literally, when i have anxiety over my mother's health, selfishness gets me out of it, by that i mean remember you have a lofe that is your own, you are the only main character, you gotta work for that main character and do things for the favor of their story, if you don't do that, you'll end up a side character in life with no big plot
@@SWEAR2CAREand you'll be stuck in this trauma forever
Almost everyone I loved has died, but there is so much to experience and I know that everyone I loved cheered for my happiness and want me to live this life looking forward and not backwards. The dream today is driving the Al-Can highway, next year it's taking a boat to the Bahamas to snorkel and fish. Those might take more time than I was hoping, but things that are bigger than yourself are worthy dreams.
There's a book called Hidden Time Wealth, and it talks about how using some secret techniques, you can overcome procrastination and accomplish anything in life. It's not just a bunch of empty promises; it's the real deal.
The discussion about emotional suppression reminds me of when I was at a hot tub spa with my boyfriend. It was peaceful and quiet and I just randomly started sobbing lmao. He was incredibly kind and understanding about it and after I cried I felt more at peace than I had in a while. You really don't realize how much you suppress things until you allow them to come to the surface.
what a horrible experience for him, going with his girlfriend to have a nice romantic moment together and she cries, he'll always remember you having cried, I know because my brother's ex-wife cried sometimes when having sex. Imagine if he seemed sad after you gave him a hug, you'd think your hug is beyond trash. You should make it up for him. If you don't then he should find a better girlfriend who gives him moments of joy and satisfaction when they're together, this is what men want out of a relationship. He's not your therapist.
@@cynthiabauer5763 Holy projection, Batman. Way to make an assumption about a random stranger's relationship. This happened a year ago and I arranged and paid for the whole thing as a treat for both of us. We still ended up having a great time. Everyone is on their own path when it comes to emotional intelligence. What I've learned for myself is that having emotional needs does not "ruin" experiences. Emotions are silly and irrational and deeply, deeply human. Opening up to your partner is a way to increase connection.
@@cynthiabauer5763 I highly disagree. It’s actually a sign of a great relationship if you can open up and support each other. There will always be times when things aren’t all going great, but going through that together with your partner and to come out of it stronger is key to a happy relationship
@@QwertsMinecraft I see where you're coming from and it makes a lot of sense when we think about it but in real life people see vulnerability as weakness and lose respect and admiration for the partner, becoming like their parent. I think your mindset is correct but only people born before social media and promiscuity can live happily through bad times. Today everyone is disposable.
@@lauren-gx1lg you're right I overreacted
What he said about the numbing effect of electronic stimulation really spoke to me. For years, I have had this habit of watching TH-cam videos for several hours before I go to sleep (right now, for instance). It relaxes me, but I sometimes feel like I'm doing it to keep myself from thinking or feeling, like I don't really exist while watching. Maybe I should try just going to sleep sometime. Or at least spend less time staring into screens.
i recently heard the avg amt of time spent viewing is 2.5 hours. my new goal is to some how bring myself down to only 2.5 hours. set a SMART goal and you can see bona fide results . making our dreams, ambitions quantifiable helps us attain them or at least see where issues lie. Until we do that it is all wishfulness and vague sense of unfulfillment. good luck!
I do the same thing as you. If you're like me, you probably just couldn't sleep at night so you tried TH-cam videos and it ended up working. It's like a weird double edged sword, not really different than any other drug addiction. The drug (TH-cam) is legitimately helping us sleep. But it's also damaging us in a way. So it's very hard. Like right now I can't imagine falling asleep without TH-cam playing, unfortunately. Maybe it means I have too many thoughts and if I instead meditated throughout the day, the thoughts could "get out," rather than they all trying to "get out" at once at night time, making it impossible to sleep.
That's really interesting to me, because I have convinced myself and several therapists that I am not addicted to gaming, I barely do it anymore. I just happen to have too much time while being unemployed and sit in front of the PC all day, but I wouldn't do it if I had anything better to do, and that's true!
i struggled with my mental health for most of last year and only just realized like 2 months ago why i kept myself from falling asleep, because in this short period of boredom before falling asleep i'd start having intrusive thoughts of selfharm etc, to avoid this i just watched youtube or played a game , numbed myself, until i was so tired that i fell asleep immediately and my thoughts didnt have time to form.
i took the next 6 months off and have decicded to focus on myself, and after watching this video it only assured me that i took the right decision.
Everybody needs some numbing, some escape from themselves. It can be work, family, dating, partying, intellectual pursuits, drugs, gym, etc, But everybody tries to divert their attention to something else to avoid spending too much time looking into their inner voids. Only monks are able to be alone in their own heads for long periods and stay sane.
Finding this video makes me feel like someone else is there. I've said all of this to people and no one ever understood me and I am just so happy it's not just me and that there is hope.
💯
I bring this up to my friends and they think im joking saying oh brother not again when im dead serious ..
This reminds me a lot of the meditations I used to do when I became a Buddhist. I would sit and basically allow my brain to tire itself out with racing thoughts and cravings until eventually things would settle down and I would have clarity. Life has gotten in the way lately and I've been feeling awful again, but this video reminded me to reconnect with that practice. You've won yourself a new subscriber! :D
I had to ask, you think about ur thoughts when u meditate? I though u kinda forced a clear mind, I really don’t know how to fucking do it
@@gayminecraft As I see it, you'd usually do the opposite of forcing things when meditating. You don't try to control the thoughts. Usually we identify a lot with what we think and feel, but meditating can make you realize your thoughts and feelings are not your identity, and that you don't have to engage with them.
By just observing ourselves and our thoughts as an outsider we can avoid a lot of the judging we usually do that often leads to suffering. It helps me to think of the ego and the thoughts that come with it as being "noise" in the front, while my consciousness is a quiet and nonjudgmental observer in the back. So we become the quiet observer when meditating.
I usually don't comment on videos, but this one almost made me cry. As a Korean that grew up in Germany, who is in this particular phase of figuring out what to do after graduating, I catch myself often being in this vicious cycle of numbing and losing myself in negative thoughts. The fact about suicides in the Asian-American community even kinda resonated with me, cause I understand and feel this pressure every damn minute of my life. I just want to say thank you, bc I was consciously/ not consciously searching for someone to understand and to give my feelings words + translating this abstract saying of "searching internally" into sth. practical.
I wish you all the good luck to keep going through all these things. I grew up in Russia with different cultural background, but I truly understand what are you talking about. It's not easy to live this life, but you can find your own purpose. And you can be happy, of course. Mainly, just believe in yourself, try to find a good therapist, do not go away from this journey which may be unpleasant but it's very useful.
Ich hoff dir geht’s gut Brudi ♥️
So much background distractions. I hope you are well gentlemen. Be good to yourselves... Service to others helps a lot I've found out.
I think we need to remember as a cooperative, social species that we have only recently been able to manage things without leaving the house for weeks. We HAD to interact at some level. Now the goal is live alone, build alone and then maybe advertise what you have to attract another independent individual who doesn't want to compromise.
But what happens when you do go on a journey of self-discovery, but don’t find your purpose? Sometimes I wish there could be a place or a person that could direct you towards something. I can’t be the only one who just has never felt a particularly strong pull in one direction or another. I’m in my 50’s now, but I’ve struggled with this concept my entire life thus far. I think some people are just more intuitive. I’m jealous of them.
There's not an answer for everything in life, we discover more as we go along
Someone who exists and points you to purpose? Hmmm...sounds like you'd appreciate a messenger of God.
(Except the vast majority of people won't even entertain the thought. Like a knee jerk reaction, they go straight past disbelief and into ridicule.)
Why can't your purpose be to journey? To think, and learn? Why can't you be fulfilling your purpose while trying to find it?
Joseph Campbell's words have always comforted me: "...if you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living..."
I think the story of purpose is an illusion. It's not a bad one but you don't need it. But it can make you sick if you believe it's a must.
Christ. Seriously. Read the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Start with the Gospel of John, or Matthew chapter 5-7.
I’ve been extremely anxious, the last month in particular, thinking about this exact issue. I needed this video today. Thank you.
Same, this video got posted at the right time. Hope you manage to get better very soon, friend.
God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God.
When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.
Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.
It's incredible really how this guy seems to pop up at the exact right moments. You're not alone, man! All the best to you :D
I'm 18, and maybe a year ago I was just... tired. The mere thought of the future was just undesirable to me. I was already kind of depressed and I knew things were just going to get harder for me as time went on, so the question: "what the bloody hell is the point of this?" Really started weighing me down.
Then I fell in love for the first time in my life.
I have since decided to commit myself to go to work everyday, go to school and become a desirable human being in general, in hopes to fall asleep next to someone I love every night. I decided that I'm going to give life my best shot, and even if I end unsatisfied, at least I'll know that I tried. I really, really tried, and that's more than some people can say.
The simple life sounds like the life for me 😊
Brace yourself for if it fails....
This is a very beautiful comment. Thank you!
Mh I've never experienced falling in love.
Eastern religions (which are becoming so trendy) make detaching from desires a big deal,
but maybe some of these passionate long-term desires are actually benign, and they actually make you more grounded in many ways.
I genuinely don't desire much, maybe it is a thing that's wrong with me.
I think it's killing my engagement with life, it made me a quiet spectator when maybe we're all supposed to be actors.
It seems like having this purpose is the best type of purpose to have. 👏👏🌠
Just wait until you meet a toxic woman that pretends (very well) that she loves you just so she can benefit of your hard work.😂😂
In the high school I had a great math teacher. She occasionally told us that from time to time we all need to take a "day of lazyness". She explained that for a whole day you lay in bed, doing nothing, and get up mostly only to eat. It looks now for me like a way to reach the end of thougths. Looks like the time has come to finally listen to her.
sounds like a nice thing to do. take a break from everything and from everyone. from every stupidity we read and from every sad news we see.
when she said do noting did she mean not watching any tv or reading any books?
@@incudust953 no, just nothing. no distractions, no entertaintent, nothing.
@@kalimatronix ya its dopamine detox
with or without phone?huge difference
I find what meditation/sitting with your internal thoughts also fosters is compassion. Observing what comes up for you with no judgement or critique, simply acknowledging it as thought. I find when you do this and encounter difficulty in life you begin to give yourself compassion, acknowledging that your troubles, fears and insecurities are things to hold and value because within them there is sincere desire.
Well said!
but your hair makes you look like the type of people that scream at men for existing
@@SobeCrunkMonster relax man this is a self-help channel dont bring toxicity here
@@SobeCrunkMonster I disagree
Lies.
These are notes I took for this video. Keep in mind i may have missed something so I recommend watching this video regardless. I thought this was a great video from Dr. K.
1. Porn & suicide addiction is linked to a sense of meaninglessness (no end goal to make life worth it)
2. Sense of purpose can’t be given to you, it has to come from within
3. We have externalized our attention (social media, podcasts, video games, tv) due to technology; losing touch with our inner voice thus struggling to find our inner voice.
4. When you feel bad you use technology which suppresses your internal signals. Technology shuts down our ability to be in touch with ourselves.
5. We look outside for possible answers but we are actively numbing ourselves.
6. SIGMA grind set/retire early people don't know what they are going to do after retirement; chasing what makes other people appear to be happy.
**End of thought (**15:00**)**
1. Reduce external stimulation to hear your internal voice
2. Reach the **end of thought.** Close your eyes and listen to your thoughts. A period of intense boredom will eventually arise. Boredom is an attempt by your brain to get dopamine so you don’t feel uncomfortable.
3. If you can get passed the boredom state you will reach **end of thought.** The time to reach end of thought varies. Once end of thought is reached all you will be left with is internal impulses resulting to hypersensitivity to internal drivers, goals and values. Now you can align your life based on your internal values
4. Once you determine what you want in life
5. Go for a walk or meditate. Let your thoughts run out, feel boredom, then discover what you want after. Once you discover your purpose - then you can align your life around it.
**Your life aligned with purpose**
1. When your life is aligned with your purpose then you can tolerate the difficulties of life
2. It’s hard to do hard things because it’s not worth it (not aligned with your purpose)
3. If what your studying is aligned with your purpose it will be easier to wake up early and study
4. Caring for life makes it much easier to live and more enjoyable
5. Once you find a reason to be motivated to do things - that’s what makes it easy to accomplish your goals
**Purpose of Life**
The purpose of life is not in life it’s in you; its individualized. You want the most out of your life you have to understand what you want out of it. To find the purpose of life; reach the end of thought.
'1. Suicide & porn addiction', not '1. Porn & suicide addiction' lol
Thanks for sharing, here are mine:
People are questioning their purpose; society has lost sense of purpose
Hustle -->become successful-->retire early
Goal in life is so retire and then start enjoying life
You sacrifice your best years
Capitalizing on capitalism or fully checking out
Neither has sense of purpose
Porn consumption is caused by meaninglessness
Sense of purpose cannot be given to you
It must come from within
Why have people lost sight of that? Technology
We have externalized our attention - social media; playing games; looking at your phone; using internet
Social media amplifies this idea that other people can give me recipe for happiness; how to find purpose
100 years ago, we were more attentional to our internal stimuli
Technology use shuts down our ability to be in touch with ourselves;
it numbs emotional circuitry.
you suppress internal signals
How do we UN-numb ourselves? Reduce external stimulation.
Listen to internal voice: If you can start to taste again, it will become easy to find out what you like to eat again
Boredom: stimulation seeking emotional state
antidote is external stimulation, but this is suppressing internal signals
Thoughts come from our sensory organs, or memory.
What are you excited about today? movie, game, food - chances are it came from a sensory organ
if we are bombarded by our sensory organs, it will be difficult for our internal thoughts to rise
further compounded: when internal thoughts arise, they arise in negative way
this is another reason we want to numb ourselves: our first layer of internal voice is unpleasant
it's negative emotions we have suppressed
People go on these year long wanderlust: travel/hike/whatever
They then come back to life - and they have this piercing look in their life; they're rugged
What's the mechanism?
Aren't you with you at all times?
No: in world we exist in, you're not with you
so much digital stimulation you're far far away from you
When you're hiking, you're being with yourself
Meditation retreats: you're meditating for 8 hours... stuff comes up, stuff comes up, stuff comes up
Simple technique: Reach the End of Thought (meditation in the true sense of the definition?)
If you close your eyes - thoughts will arise; there's a pattern: they're mostly related to something EXTERNAL to you
not about anything you want - things you need to do; desires which are also borne by external stimulus... i wanna eat this, play whatever.. not something you care about
Period of intense boredom comes; mind is struggling for stimulation; boredom is attempt for your brain to get that hit of dopamine
Sensation that prompt us into action are uncomfortable; thirst, hunger. what's the biggest club our mind has got? boredom
second phase you experience is intense, intense boredom;
If you don't give into the boredom and you know what the boredom is trying to do, something magical will happen, you can start to have some power over it
Thoughts will be rapid at the beginning, then they will slow down, slow down, slow down.. and if you're lucky you will reach end of thought
Once you reach the end of thought (because thoughts come from outside sources), all you will be left with are your internal impulses
You will have stopped numbing yourself, and you will be hyper sensitive to internal drivers, goals, values;
once you're centred on those, you can begin to craft a life around those
once i know from within me what i am looking from life; once i stop listening to influences, Asian American parents, older siblings, friends and try to duplicate that, I'm listening to myself and i can align my life out of my values
once you discover what you want from life - it's not about what is the purpose of life (it's a misnomer)
purpose of life is not in life, but it's in you, it's individualized
it's a scam; "let's ask someone wise because they will give us THE ANSWER"
you're an individual, you have to understand what YOU want out of it
in order to do that: REACH the END of THOUGHT
you can sit there, you can go on a hike; you don't have to reach it all in one session
let the thoughts run out; they will run out of steam; there will be boredom, and after that you will discover what you want
once you discover purpose, you can start aligning with with it
after that, doing difficult things will become 'worth it'
life will become worth it
caring for life makes it so much easier and so much more enjoyable
don't adopt anti-work nor the work work work be successful later where you reach the end of the rainbow and there's a pot of gold
you need to start this today
thanks for the summary@@simonsays3391
My biggest problem is that I feel like all I do is work. And when I'm not working, I am too tired to enjoy my free time + in order to do anything, you need to spend money, which I don't want to, because I'm working way too hard for every dollar, so I don't wanna spend it.
Damn this guy makes a lot of sense. I once had to take an hour long drive by myself, something I have done many times. But decided this time I would turn off the radio and just be alone with my thoughts for the trip. By the end of it I realized that I really wanted to travel. So I decided right then that I was going to work toward going on a European backpacking trip by myself. One year later I did it. I traveled Europe for 6 months with no plan or itinerary. Best decision of my life!
Good for you dude! I am so glad you got to achieve your dreams :) Hopefully everyone gets to do this me including (one day..)
I had a similar experience where I spent some time thinking about what I wanted and ended up traveling to Puerto Rico for a week. Never felt more alive despite being on my own in a new place. What are you doing now?
Great
Damn this is so cool!!!
This is so cool !!!
I felt that... I was looking for purpose in other people. I thought I was meant to help them and sacrifice my life for others. I went to a therapy over a year ago and my therapist asked: "Why you need these people? What is that they give you that you can't give yourself?" I had no idea back then and it took some time but ot happened. I am now recovering people pleaser and so far "lost" 5 "friends". And with each one it feels better and better. And I have myself finally and I enjoy being with myself. I'm still shocked how of a great friend I can be for myself. Wow...
If you want to know what your purpose is then you need to go back to what your desires are. If I desire to have 6 packs then my purpose becomes it, then whatever newer desires I crave, that becomes my new purpose.
The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?.
Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires.
Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.
i have this feeling at the moment. i dont see my purpose and for the past ... 1 year maybe more, i felt like the only way to feel alive was to make other people happy so i can have part in their happiness. i found an analogy to a candle quite fitting: i can't stand the thought of burning low and never being noticed. i'd much rather burn bright and hot, but also be gone that much quicker.
even if i have realized it now, i dont even have an idea where to start having my own purpose. whenever i do something for myself i dont feel alive. whenever i something for others it gives me this little spark of feeling alive, but its never enough to ignite something in me.
i just read my text again and it doesnt make a lot of sense, but i'm still gonna post it and not edit it as it really describes how i feel at the moment...
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.
From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it.
For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
@@Raverraver9999 Why you are deciding what the purpose for others should be?
👎👎🙄
@@Raverraver9999 if I disregard the overly moral prescriptivist, monotheistic tone in your comment, there is hidden within it a beautiful gem of spiritual wisdom and truth and i appreciate having read it today
Just three of your videos in and I'm starting to realize I *never* had any purpose at all. My whole life has been spent bouncing from one interest to another, not taking anything seriously, and Idk-ing my way thru everything from school, dating, jobs, interests...
Yikes. This is gonna be one interesting journey.
The same goes for me, today I’m going to start a 15 day meditational retreat, hoping I can gain some type of actual insight about myself. Good luck to you 🙌
@@r4ndy0how it goes mate?
Probably failed it.
@@r4ndy0 How did it go?
Learning your Human Design will help you get a great start. Trust me!
I graduated on top of my class in uni and I had great expectations for myself, getting into a master’s programme abroad, doing a PhD afterwards, having a great job, getting married, and having 7 kids 😅, but life hit really hard after uni. I was totally lost; I tried for over four years to get into a good programme with a full scholarship but I failed every time. Friends and classmates moved way ahead in life and I felt trapped. D person I dated then told me I wasn't exposed enough and ghosted me. It was a series of hell on earth for me. I hated myself and battled with depression and overeating to suppress the pain, until this year when I turned 26 and told myself eff it. I'm done taking life too seriously, I quit my miserable job, started a weight loss plan and have since lost 30 pounds. I thank God for my family because they really helped. People would tell my parents to push me out of the house to find my own place but they never did bcos they understood how bad it was, staying alone was not the solution. Glory to God things are looking up, no matter how little.
Please, stop to be religious: it's only another trap of society.
religion is a powerful thing
I'm so happy you have parents like this. I'm going through things like this, too, depressed and suicidal 'cause I'm trapped in a dead-end job that doesn't care about me and forced to live with emotionally/psychologically abusive parents (mostly mom - Narc/Bipolar), and they keep threatening to kick me out. I'm dealing with it rn, in fact. Mom just told me yesterday that 'life isn't all about you' (I've been not sleeping/losing weight rapidly 'cause I'm just so sad and Done(TM)) and that 'maybe if I ACTUALLY struggle and have nightmares and fears, you'll appreciate this place and what you have.' ;A; It's honestly hell, and I'm really happy your family is so great! SO happy for you! You're so lucky! Wish my parents were empathetic at all and understood, too! ;A;
@7Write4This9Heart7 oh dear.... I really do wish you the absolute best... everything will eventually work out for ur good... just keep pushing forward, no matter how slow. 💖💖💖💖💖
@@debbydambani7040 Thank you! It's really hard to believe that 'cause people keep saying it, but nothing actually gets better...but thank you! I really appreciate it!
i'm going through a quarter life crisis (also jobless rn & have no life ambitions), i never needed to hear this more in my life. i took some time to think for myself & realized the meaning to my life is simply to find love, be there for my family, and look forward to future movies & music bc i love watching movies & listening to music 😆 it's as simple as that. you don't have to have a huge reason. it could be something as small as watching your pets, etc. also, it helped me to stop thinking about the future & the past; just think of the present, soak whatever is happening in. & society clouds our mind so much with expectations. break away from that & it gets so much easier
your comment is helping me so much, thankyou broski
You are literally me. Jobless and no ambitions. Love movies and music and family. But my issue is that the clocks ticking, and I need money to do things I like. But I get miserable working a 9-5. Idk what to do.
Thank you for your comment, it helped me too!
@@Gabe_Shiesty Not sure if it will help anyone reading, but one thing that has helped me recently is reframing the desires I have as "aspirations" rather than "ambitions". An ambition is typically categorized as a self-interested goal but this can seemingly only be measured in a success/fail binary - e.g. if you fall short you are trapped with the crushing realization of failure on your own terms. But an aspiration is something different - it decouples the goal from the potential required to reach it, instead of treating them as one and the same, making it easier to get started.
Its very interesting to consider where the words "ambition" and "aspiration" come from as well. The word "ambition" comes from the Latin verb "ambire", meaning "to go around" - but the context in which "ambire" and its noun "ambitio" were used in the ancient world were to describe individuals who were in the pursuit of power. It follows then that, unless you are someone motivated in some way by power in the modern era, you might actually be ok with not necessarily having "ambitions", per se, but more "aspirations" in life.
The word "aspiration" meanwhile comes from "aspirare" - the same root as "inspiration" - meaning "to breathe upon, blow upon or breathe"; hence "the things that you breathe (life) into and the things that give you breath" are your "aspirations", and seem much closer to your authentic purpose than an externalized ambition. I don't know about you but none of the things in my life that give me "breath" (life purpose) involve the pursuit of power, competition or dogfighting for status. I maybe in domains which demand participation in these distracting "ambition" games, but so long as I hold true to the aspirations outside of them it makes it easier.
It took me a long time, but not considering the historical implications of the words we use all the time can sometimes be responsible for kneecapping ourselves and defining our reality, and sometimes our perspectives only need a small, subtle course correction to get things moving better. Wish you all the best.
@@MrXaphus You make a good point there about those two words, and it was interesting to read about from your comment. That said I agree, it’s definitely so important to be much more careful with our words than we think. One of the things my therapist at the time taught me is just how much thoughts (especially negative ones) can affect how we feel, and how what we feel often turns into action (or simply inaction, but even that is still an action). At that point the cycle just repeats itself. If we could just tap into any of those like rephrasing the words we use and tell ourselves. Then that means we could work to fundamentally change all other aspects of our life, really by just one simple decision. Not that it happens overnight (not counting mistakes along the way) because everything we want to do is often best done in baby steps, but still I’ll just also never forget how my therapist would get onto me about saying “i might” or “i think.” Usually if he was asking me a question either of those replies would just mean no to him, because still none of those answers were a yes or no. Really if I wasn’t gonna say “I will” or even just that yes or no then when would I ever? Bottom line is I guess the lesson there was that I shouldn’t be waiting on life to give me answers, and to spend too much time thinking about it. I should get out there and just enjoy myself. While still also living within my means and being grateful of course. Cause at the end of the day too much self reflection is a bad thing, and not everyone is so lucky to have what we have. Even if we think what we have isn’t too great. All this is I’m sure some things that Dr. K has probably made a point about as a continuation of this “finding ourselves” topic. Probably my main take away from that experience though, was that not all answers come from thinking. Once I stopped thinking as much I felt happier.
Around the 10 minute mark, I went 'Holy crap'. This video is so well articulated. As an Asian American you hit all the notes, and travel is one of the things I did to 'find myself'. It worked for a while, but now I find travel to be unfulfilling too, and I couldn't figure out why until you mentioned it here-I'm just emulating my trips based on what I've seen on social media about what a "good" trip is. I go to take the same photos I've seen people take on Instagram, see the same sights, etc, so I'm no longer finding any meaning or 'taste ' behind what I was originally enjoying. You've motivated me to listen to myself, and I'll start by being bored and finishing a thought. Thank you!
My wife wanted to see some of the “must see” sites in San Fran. I got so tired I ended up falling asleep and bumping into a car in front of me on those steep hills.
No damage or legal issues, but there were kids in both cars and it spooked me. Why risk our lives over a donut sign.
My wife also missed the whole experience at Venice beach because she was having a custom T-shirt made. So now my main memory of LA is me and my son being near the water and her being 200 meters away with the baby.
@@jbeauty4150 Actually it was the round sign for fisherman's wharf. Not sure why I remember it being cut out in the middle.
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.
From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it.
For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
I really needed 'financial stability does not equal purpose' I've been so focused on that next step, a house, freedom, but if I don't know what it's for, then there's no point
Been studying self help/ motivation for 20 years in different capacities and this is the most insightful video I've ever seen on the topic. I think because it's so relevant and vital for our current over stimulated world.
This video made me realize... I am always plugged in. Always. Always watching something, listening.
You brought up the shower as the only time we're not plugged in. Well, I'm so demented I have a water proof bluetooth speaker that's in the bathroom so I can continue to listen to podcasts while in the shower.
Realizing this... I feel a bit sad and wonder, jeez how numb am I really? And turning off all my electronic entertainment and just being alone in the silence, ugh. It sounds... terrifyingly boring!! Haha. I know I have to buck up and just try it... Thank you for the great video!
I was afraid of exactly that after Highschool. I dropped out started hopping freight trains and traveling around the country. Some of the worst times turned into the best memories. But then I got married and had a kid, my ex had pretty bad mental health problems, I left with the kid. Now I'm 30 just finished a degree and have no clue what I'm doing. I fell into the same trap I was desperate to avoid when I was younger. I would never leave my kid but when I was homeless, traveling, hopping trains, hitchhiking was the happiest I ever was in my life. Now everything I do feels so soulless and empty.
Shiey inspired
God transcends time. Some of the greatest works in Gods kingdom have been done from sickbeds and prison cells. Instead of resenting the limitations of a weakened body, search for Gods way in the midst of these very circumstances. Limitations can be liberating when your strongest desire is living close to God.
When you allow God into your life, the idol of performance and expectation goes away, people get really mad too, because to the world this is being 'lazy'. Take time for yourself and heal and enjoy the moments where you are healing and don't wish them to pass quickly. Anybody who reads this who idols what others think about them, I pity you. Get some help with Christ, and stop shaming people who don't work 'as hard' as you do.
Every thought other than practical thoughts like having to work/clean etc are usually from the enemy. I also void most thought. Enjoy the moment in peace instead. Sometimes it will feel guilty to enjoy the moment because the enemy is the accuser of believers of peace, the devil hates when you are at peace in the moment; he likes to ruffle us up.
You'll find a way
nothing is stopping you from being homeless and hopping trains
"Purpose is not financial security" That line really hit me, because whenever I'm thinking about my goals in life, what I want or what would make me feel happy that's all I go to. Is that well if I have a safe clean place to live I'll be happy. If I have access to healthy and good food, I'll be happy. If I have enough money saved up, I'll be happy. And I'm certainly not in peek financial security- 16k in student loan debt, but I do have a safe clean home, and I do have access to food, and I have some money saved up but I'm not happy because of it. As a kid I really thought that's all I needed and I think I thought that because I grew up in households where that wasn't a guarentee. Financial security seems to me now like it is the starting point to understanding and being able to access those other parts of your existence.
@@litheon1289 mate but maybe financial security IS your purpose. As he said, everybody is an individual, therefore asking somebody else what the purpose is is pointless. I'm personally also from a family that struggled immensely financially and the most fulfilling years of my life were when I made money while doing a job I didn't dislike but just the salary was so fulfilling to me that I felt like I was on top of the world. Everybody has a different purpose and maybe it changes over time but don't downplay the happiness and fulfillment you can get from reaching financial security. Maybe that's right what you need
@@DlA2oR1nC Yeah I get what you're saying. For me though, especially when I wrote that comment I was struggling a lot with my sense of identity and other issues. I finished school since then and so far have really enjoyed the simplicity of going to work in a job that's not the worst and then coming home to be with my family/ friends and pursue what I'm interested in. I really like where I'm at rn, and can really relate to what you mean! I still think that basic financial security is the base from which we can explore other things, but I appreciate your comment in that it doesn't necessarily mean that happiness or contentness from that security is a nonstarter. It is good ^u^ There are so many other things I'm interested in and care about, that I've been able to really see since gaining more freedom, so I don't think that being in this contentness is my purpose but it could be for other people and that's good.
I had to literally pause in mid and comment.
This is THE BEST video I've found on TH-cam in years. The articulation, the philosophy, the simplicity, the humbleness is just unmatched. THANK YOU for making this video ❤
PS: I am struggling a lot these days to find my purpose, or have a sense of purpose in life. I am "successful" entrepreneur. I am adequately recognised in my community and family, I am stable financially, but I've recently lost of sense of purpose. I hope to find it soon. And I also hope to come back here to share my journey with you guys ❤
May you find peace 🙏
How are you now?
I'm 43 this year. I was looking outside myself before social media, smartphones, and anything greater than dial-up. It was books, & CD's & accumulating "things". And finding purpose was STILL difficult! And the antidote to boredom is creativity, if you don't procrastinate on it! Thought-provoking video 👌👏
Shake hands I’m also 43 this year. Thinking what should I do next so I won’t feel regret when I’m 60 or 70.
Pretty odd of you to say since most of my creativity comes from procrastination
@@keithnicolas3097 That doesn't make it odd since it can also work the other way around for many people. They want to engage in their creative hobbies and bring their ideas to life but (think) they can't find sufficient motivation or time
Procrastinating ... Man, I have 2e (with ADHD)... That is my default state together with overthink. I am bored about self think about what I want and life purpose. In the end, I can see that life is suffering to reach ephemeral happiness moments. Life is too hard to achieve it. In the end all my mind concluded that life doesn't really have enough value. The only thing that makes me not finishes it is to not bring suffering to others if I die.
@@VitorFM Jesus loves you. You do have purpose. Pray. Seek Him. & He will give your mind rest. Selah. Sending you love and light
I have come to realize that, in living life, you have to strike a balance between accepting what life offers you, and also striving to not simply accept it. It may sound like a contradiction but I'd expand that idea like this: if you accept everything that life gives you, then that's complacency and you're going nowhere. Conversely, if you don't accept that things are the way they are, then you will never be satisfied and you're setting yourself up to fail. The key is finding the balance that works for you, and there is no simple answer. Understanding that we're walking the line between acceptance and striving for more, is really what it takes to have the right perspective on what to do with your life.
exactly!
And embracing death.
Eloquently put. I like this perspective 😊
As someone who has spent probably cumulatively months of my life literally sitting and doing nothing but thinking, I can tell you purpose isn't going to just come to you unless you're lucky. I differ with the author in that I believe it's unhealthy to try to force yourself to have a purpose. Most people do not. Actually I'd say nobody truly has one, but some are happy nonetheless in feeling that they do. No, it's best to come to peace with NOT having a purpose and the fact that you, like everyone else, are just doing the best you can with the cards you've been dealt. Let yourself off the hook for not being a superman achiever, and you might just be happier as a result.
Agree 100%! It is perfectly okay to just live your life! It’s okay to be content!
i agree sir, you just hit it on the head.
This is fine for women, but men that wish to find a female partner know that women are not attracted to men that are not driven/ambitious.
Um your purpose could be to just live your live and be happy. Thats perfectly acceptable. 👍🏻
It is so true. As an Asian, I can completely understand what you are talking about. I just finished my MA in Europe. When I came back home, nearly everyone in my family asked me to find a job as soon as possible. They sent me links, resources, etc., but all of this made me anxious. The worst thing is that I don't know what I want, what my purpose in life is. I am not sure how I should go about finding it now. I am a little bit worried: What if my purpose is actually what they told me to be, but I was just overwhelmed? By turning them down, did I actually miss the possible chance of finding a purpose? Am I stressed and anxious because this is a possible answer, but I was just unhappy to accept the fact that they knew me better than I know myself
Im a 23 y/o woman who has spent the last 7 years of my life grinding as hard as I possibly could to get out of a very abusive situation with my father. I have a house now and I don’t have to work nearly as much as I now have employees. However, with all the trauma I have I don’t find myself any happier after escaping and exactly like you mentioned I feel like my suffering has not been worth the outcome so far. I have been looking for these answers my whole life and I can’t thank you enough for making these videos. This one in particular saved my life, I’m in tears and I feel like I finally have somewhere to start healing myself and learn to be disciplined in the ways that truly matter. I have overcomplicated things to the point I’m so unhealthy physically and mentally. I want to fix myself and I want to believe in myself and I want to believe it will be worth it in the end
Wishing you the highest good. Bravo for working so hard to get yourself into a better situation. Now it's time for self love care and healing. You may need a therapist. I'm really proud of you. And happy for you. You have the rest of your life before you. May you enjoy it to the fullest. Take care and best of luck. You are making good moves.
Time for children the greatest most satisfying reward in living watching your children grow and flourish
Hope it gets better for you and you can find or create the answers you need.
Try not to be too serious about everything. Just relax a little.
Give me a job.
I am going through this as we speak.
I am an Asian American that went into the medical field as a way to appease my family, but only after 2 1/2 years post grad, I am already burned out. At first I assumed it was anxiety brought on by imposter syndrome (my self esteem is so low that I assume everything that goes wrong in my department is my fault, causing me to second guess my intelligence), but the more I thought about it, I realized that the core issue is that I have no interest in medicine what so ever and my mind was telling me that I hate it here. I have been thinking about my purpose, and that if this is it, why bother? I can't say that I have discovered myself yet, but a hiatus from the grind might help me find new purpose. It just difficult since I cannot lose my job because I am in debt, giving me this feeling of being trapped in my situation, further pushing my mental limits.
you will find a way out my brother, i believe in you
you got this brother 🙏 as long as you’re still here, there’s always a solution
Debt is very tricky because your past self's bad decisions haunt your current self and this can be difficult to escape, but not impossible. Make long term goals. Do not spend money on anything that is not absolutely necessary. Live in as cheap of housing as you can find. Drive cars that are cheap and get you where you need to go. Cook your own food. Start exploring other skills that truly interest you (music, art, athletics, other fields of academia, etc). Do not put in extra hours at work, ever. Time is not money. Time is greater than money can ever hope to be. The expensive shiny things that corporations market to you are a vile distraction from your true human nature. Even if you are unable to leave your job due to your finances, adopting this mindset will truly make your life better. And by spending less you'll get out of your debt trap sooner. Just remind yourself that when it happens, it's not a time to spend more. It's a time to work less. No amount of money is worth your time. I'm agnostic but Jesus was right when he said that living in poverty brings you closer to god. Money is not god.
@@rainbowwaves5531 glad to hear that.
For sure stay in the medical field if it is good and pays well. That is really the unfortunate thing that matters, doesn't matter if you become a doctor or end up as a janitor. They both work hard, go figure which one you want to be but. Take the time, but do consider.
I recently figured this out at the ripe age of 30.
Before, I always thought that the purpose of life was: "To enjoy it at much as possible without hindering the ability of others to enjoy it as well".
That has now changed to: "To constantly grow, develop and become a better person in all of the areas that are important to me".
how did u find it
@@tekiero Good. I make goals that I aim for that keep me busy. I've always been interested in Cybersecurity so I am working on getting my CCNA and my CompTIA Sec+ exams in the next couple of months.
The one thing to remember, its EXTREMELY crucial, is that you are competing with yourself, not others.
Victor Frankl was right. He didn’t discover that purpose is of utmost importance but he was in a unique situation to confirm that it was. Having a strong purpose is the most valuable thing and cannot be bought.
And to think he almost didn't make it 😧
I was extremely checked out for years in my 20's. I finally got on meds, saw a counselor, and these helped me realize that I don't have a purpose, a goal, and no one to guide me very well. So I was like "what do I do? I'm scared to do what I love so what do I do?" and I realized that I just had to live life and see how long I'm fine, not worry about death or injury. Or the unknown. so now I'm trying to create my life without getting overwhelmed. what is my purpose? find a way to help others, despite what might hold me back.
How are things going for you? Sending lots of love, I know things are tough rn. ❤️
@@gloriouslyaesthetic better. Relying on myself
@@trisha1562 Same. Do you have any meditation practices you do like breathwork or yoga?
@@gloriouslyaesthetic mindfulness, writing stuff down, spinning yarn.
Chasing purpose has caused me more misery than any other act I ever performed or any mindset I ever held. And I've done my fair share of stupid or evil things that only ever ended up wounding me (to say nothing of the impact it had on others). The worst part is that purpose itself doesn't have a purpose; it's a logical snarl that people don't seem to appreciate.
The world is too big and complicated, and if you try to smooth it out with contrivances, you'll only tie yourself in knots. Add that nothing lasts forever, and there isn't even a point. It's better to learn how to find joy wherever it might be hiding, learn how to be kind and merry in even the ugliest circumstances, and let it take you where you need to go. It's exactly enough, no more and no less.
I'd be lying if I said I embodied that ideal. I'm far from it. But the more attachments I abandon and the more I slow down to just appreciate life, the happier I find myself to be. I really do think the gist of what Taoists, Buddhists, and Native American indigenous religions promote is the right path.
I had the same realization as you not too long ago. For me, it happened when I started reading about Daoist philosophy, specifically the ideas found in the Zhuangzi. If anyone is interested, I highly recommend the philosopher Hans-Georg Moeller's interpretation of the text. He also has two TH-cam channels called Carefree Wandering and Philosophy in Motion.
That's a good point and I think it's important to point out the distinction between having a 'purpose' that is some big driving goal you're pursuing vs an answer to the question what makes life have value to me? How can I live in such a way that I enjoy and feel fulfilled being alive?
The first type of purpose can lead to attaching your happiness and self-worth to the outcome of reaching your goal, disappointment and feelings of failure when you have trouble, and sacrificing important things along the way in the name of achieving it. The second type of purpose is I think what Dr. K is talking about and is essential, it allows you to put effort into things like taking care of yourself and your relationships, valuing time spent on your interests or professional pursuits or whatever you discover is meaningful to you, not because you reach some specific level or achievement, but because you realize these things make your life worth living.
Honestly, that just sounds awful. If it works for other people that's great and more power to you, but why does anyone's joy even matter if it's all meaningless?
I ask this question genuinely and not in a hostile or mean way.
But like why even care about looking for joy or some kind of happiness if it's all meaningless?
@@giuseppesteigman Why does joy have to matter? Why can't there just be joy, in and of itself, without slathering it with made-up BS? It's not that deep, bro.
Just take what life gives you. The more you accept and appreciate the good things you have without trying to wrangle it into something it's not, the more good things you'll have. Think of it as a sort of anti-nihilism.
You wouldn't think some fish happily munching on a whale carcass is going to stop and think, "What am I doing with my life? Why am I settling for this whale? I should be the one to take down a whale and make everyone else feast on my achievement! I will be the greatest fish in the history of all fish!" It's just happy that it has a belly full of meat. And even if such an ambitious fish were to ever arise (if you could entertain such an absurd scenario), we'd have no way of knowing its glory. The world itself doesn't care. That fish will die and be forgotten like all the rest, except in its life, it strained so hard to be the glorious one that it missed out on all the good things that right in front of it, but which it chose to pass up in the hope its life would have some kind of meaning in the end. It's foolishness.
You may want to read Ozymandias by Percy Shelley. It's a very short poem, but it lays out how foolish ambition is like few other works.
Couldn't have said it better myself
I have never heard an older person in my personal life ever talk about their life purpose or how to live a good life.
True. They did what they did just to survive. Just work, create a family, have a hobby, that's what everybody does. They didn't overcomplicate things.
Hi, i personally use religion as a tool, since it has many instructions and guidance, since I can't imagine myself making decisions that i am one hundred percent sure it'll bring me happiness, i would really recommend the Islamic religion, i know... it's pretty misunderstood, and full of wrong stereotypes, but it personally made me feel complete, and made me discover the purpose in life, i wish you much love and guidance
@@vitormascarenhas4884 No they say they had a dream but it didnt happen. So they kinda have to be happy with the life they lived becuase well you have to at that point but non of them are happy
Bruh fr they shit on people that do
we live in a distopia
I'm not sure if this will help anyone but in my case, I simply give up. There's peace and joy in giving up I guess. I think when you think that you "have to have a goal" and not find it, it depresses you more. That's what happened to me. Now I just look at the small things and small tasks. Day to day things and appreciate the simple tasks. It was my sister who taught me this. Just live day to day and not think hardly about the future in long term (like you can think tomorrow or a week from now) but not be bothered by the longer one
Oh and sign out of ALL social media apps, it really helps 😊😊😊
I remember being a kid that enjoyed life every second and every minute! Now, it feels like that was a dream and today is just another day waiting for an ending. I thought back to my kid self and thought how she would be happy just to feel the sun on her skin in the morning or the smell of coffee and breakfast being made. She was forgiving and all loving.
Just that thought alone made me feel like I lost a huge side of myself. So, everyday I would find something to appreciate. From good or bad. From something as small as the smell in the air, touch of my bed sheets, colors in the sky or the way someone smiled/laughed to something as big as someone helping me out when they didn't need or didn't have the time too. Everyday I find something to be thankful for because life can hit hard and make us forget who we are. Everyday is a blessing because one day it will come to an end.
Figuring out how to best appreciate life is the answer. Whatever form that may take for the individual. But I'll just say there was an 80 year long Harvard study that determined that what made people "happiest" (most satisfied) was closeness with loved ones. I would venture to say this is where our meaning lies.
So true. Today I appreciate and am thankful for a reliable vehicle.
Me too! Your comment made me realize that the old cartoons I used to watch give me comfort because it reminds me of the times I was actually happy…the old music I used to love sometimes makes me emotional and I tear up because I am reminded of a time that life was easier and I was happier. Even though I couldn’t wait to “grow up” 🥺
First para: MOOOOOD! I miss even college me, man! I had zest for life! Life hadn't kicked my teeth in with health issues that would traumatize me yet! I was a normal, carefree person! I haven't been that person since, and that was 10-almost 11 years ago! I miss that me SO damn much! Now, I hate my dead-end job, I have no zest for life, I am depressed AF (have even been suicidal a lot lately), all my efforts to get a better job have been for naught, the economy keeps me trapped living with abusive parents, and I just...I don't know what to do! I feel like I've done everything right, and nothing's working! It's miserable! I just want to be happy again! ;A;
@@7Write4This9Heart7 welcome to my reality¡!!!!!!
Haven't shed a single tear in over a decade, but this video almost got me because I've been feeling this sense of dread and lack of genuine identity for such a long time.
The sad thing is I don't believe there's any going back for the human race; we just keep digging further and destroying everything around us along with ourselves. History not only repeats itself but does so exponentially as technology advances. This is why the sentiment of "being born in the wrong era" is such a common and relatable feeling. We were never meant to live in this dystopia we have created for ourselves.
Beautifully put
Agreed friend
Who ever was born in the right era?
We need to get rid of capitalism.
@@OneStepToDeath420 and then what
I’m 41 , been searching for my passion, I hate work that feels meaningless to me, and haven’t found it yet , this video helped me with an idea of sitting still and listening from within , I will give it a shot and hope it helps , thank you
I set this as my highest goal and focus and I can promise you it is the way you want to go.
Keep us updated.
Please let us know how it goes, hoping for good news. Good luck.
Let your hobby become your works..
I'm 48 and I'm just starting to get a vague whiff of what my purpose is. I was raised by a devouring mother who taught me that what I really want out of life is freaking irrelevant and I'm a huge jerk for even wondering it is. This is a common problem for a lot of people who had parents who are abusive or abandoning. When I found that out, I started to question myself and it wasn't until then that I started to realize that all these years I have really been out of touch with my true self.
Omg this helped me realized! How much my thoughts are from external sources
I’m 51 and changing careers from the arts to something more stable and calm. This hustle and grind culture is poison. I grew up a child actor and saw from the inside how money and fame don’t equal happiness. Meaningful work that brings a sense of purpose and enough money to feel safe, and balancing that with a loving support system does. Life is about finding yourself. Asking, “What do I really want.”
I was forced out of an acting career due to a bad on set injury and Covid causing my agent to shut up shop. Focusing on working as a trainer/consultant now. What line of work have you transitioned to?
The biggest problem these days is that people neglect their desires out of fear in facing trials and tribulations. If such desire is handed on a platter with ease then they'll grab it. So how are you supposed to live with purpose when you don't want to go after your desires?.
Now it's a different case if you're someone with no desires whatsoever but that's a monk level kind of human who's willing to denounce everything they own to prove they're without any desires.
Truth is, we're all filled with desires which could serve as a catalyst to set our purposes but desire means conflict. I want to be something, and in the very process of trying to become that something there is conflict, and then comes the demand, the effort to escape from the conflict.
Im turning 40 and just realized that I think I feel a bit without purpose..my job has no meaning to me even though I went to law school much later in life but once I achieved that, I realized, I hate sitting behind a desk not making a meaningful contribution...I have my kids and husband which Im grateful for, but careerwise, I feel sooo unfilfilled...
I always tell people that don't get bored because of my many hobbies such as playing music, painting, learning a new language. BUT whenever I take a break from those activities, I look at the reality of my life which is alone, without parents or close friends around, just my dog that is literally my emotional support angel, and that makes me feel sad that I am alone.
try to do team sports and hobbies, like chess, card games, golf…etc ;)
Yeah the older we get the lonelier we are. I had quite a lots of friends and tons of activities. Now I M kinda alone
god why is it like this all disconnected
@@expectingthebeach2368 how
Academic over-achiever here. The plan was college, find a wife along the way, raise a family. The purpose for me has ALWAYS been family.
Due to money, my sister having a near fatal car wreck, military deployment, and just...life, finishing college ended up taking 10 years. 10 years of working full-time and school full time, or working full time and supporting my sister's recovery, or being in a combat zone. By the time I got there, I realized nobody wanted to be MY wife and I had delayed truly trying to build a career for so long, I was behind everyone else.
Now I find myself with no realistically achievable purpose in life, and take my word for it, you DO NOT want to be here.
If you're that lonely, likely relationships in some form is a part of your purpose and you NEED to put a priority on it. Do whatever you have to to define that purpose and work towards it EVERY day.
I had the thought "What is the point of life" literally last night. Doctor K back at again with his mindreading uploads.
Please subscribe to the Catechism in a Year Podcast, you will find it helpful in answering this question.
literally RIHGT NOW lmao
lol, that's right. I have been thinking of this like 2 weeks ago, and this video comes up.
The bigest issue humanity created for itself is the idea that anyone needs a purpose instead of teaching us to just love life.
Literally floating through life right now lost , i feel like i havent found my purpose either. i feel a little better knowing im not alone ..
If you truly had a purpose why would you have to find it or look for it, does a queen ant or worker ant have to find its purpose?
@@kareemdavis1500 if a blind man truly has eyes why cant he see?
@@kareemdavis1500 because his eyes are sick. our current society sickens us by denaturalizing us until we are blind to what we are naturally drawn to and is good for us.
@@kareemdavis1500ants don't think
I feel exactly the same, no hobbys, no idea what job to do, only doing stuff that makes me not think about my life.
Oh my god, I needed this video! I am part of a family that lacks imagination. I want to write books and draw characters and I have been beat down to believe that that does not bring you money. I am 40 and currently writing my first book. As a Puerto Rican I also got this.
I'm 19 years old. These past few month I've had a real hard time figuring out what I want to do in life. I feel like I should have a reason for being here, but I can't pin point it in my brain. After watching this everything Dr. K said describing someone lacking a purpose describes me perfectly. I think my mind has soaked in so much content that I'm losing my sense of self. I feel like I don't even know who I am. I'm hoping to change this mindset by using the exercises in this video. I really needed to see this much love
Bro you still have a chance some of us halfway through our 20s still don’t have it figured out. Most of us ended up here because we prioritized having fun your age or just simply didn’t understand BALANCE. Good luck bro 🤝
@Dowsk1 You are only 19, keep learning about the world and trying new things, and eventually you will find paths towards what you want to do.
Also keep an open mind.
I'm 35, and I still don't have it all figured out. You're 19. Pick a major, pick a job, talk to people, and just do some stuff. 10 years may seem like a long time now, but in 10 years, if you start something, you'll be amazed at where you can end up.
I felt exactly the same way and still do occasionally. You need to actually do something and start moving towards something, things will get clearer with time as long as you keep going. When you don't know what to do with your life, soaking up information will just paralyze and confuse you further because you get so much conflicting information from seemingly smart and successful people. That's my experience at least.
I'm 18 myself, and sometimes, I really get what you're saying, not knowing who I am. To be honest, I still don't know who I am to be honest. However, I find solace in holding to what I believe in, and my morals, and living my life to the best of my ability. I find more solace in the fact that even if I don't know who I am or what I'm doing, that I have a moral compass, and I'll gravitate to those similar, and in doing so, I believe I'll find myself in the future wherever that may be. I think to myself "If I were to die tomorrow, would I be satisfied?", and to be honest, I was deeply unnerved for a long time with that question, but I believe, at least for me, that you can find value in the attempt. That the attempt to be better or follow what you believe is important, and should be valued regardless of if you fail or succeed. We're all on this Journey together and I'm with you all the bro, best of luck!
Discovering Hidden Time Wealth has been one of the best things I've done for my productivity. It feels like I’ve finally cracked the code to overcoming procrastination.
When I owned my youth program for gamers our motto was "Play with a PURPOSE" without defining what their purpose should be. Super helpful video, thank you!
Thank you for this video. As a healthcare provider, with a beautiful family, I find myself asking these questions a lot recently, and I feel that light, love, and happiness are what I aspire to. The grind culture and the retirement (FIRE) mindset is safe, but may not be a satisfying goal/outcome for most. I know it’s not for me.
These videos are so much better without the Twitch Chat on the side. You know who your audience is. I can concentrate on Dr. K without habitually reading random things.
I think you can turn them off in twitch
Best video on the subject. You are so right. With social media we are all becoming the same and that's why nobody's happy. Nobody knows who he truly is and what gives sense to his life. Indeed boredom is difficult sometimes but it is truly amazing, it allows us to connect with ourselves again.
The explanation about the phases of boredom are 100% correct. I used to literally just sit and lie down on my bed and do nothing. It was hard for the first few minutes, but I knew that after a small while, I would enter a phase of deeper mental awareness and introspection. I discovered _alot_ of things after the break up with my ex, since I spent so much time doing absolutely nothing.
Bruh yal need to learn hobby’s
Being able to do nothing, without feeling like you are missing out on anything or requiring external stimulation is one of the most rewarding and important states that a human being can be in - in fact - it is absolutely what coming to terms with life and yourself is all about!
As an Asian American expectations have really taken a serious toll on myself. There’s almost like a quota where you have to obtain fame and prestige before you die in order to make your parents finally proud of you. It sucks but it’s the truth. I’ve been sucked into this trying to get into all of the major stem schools only to feel terrible everyday and feel like I have zero self worth. It’s incredibly scary seeing how many other Asians are in this same exact situation only to become another part of a statistic due to these desires of prestige and fame.
Sounds like my younger years on chess.
That's super interesting to read for me, because I live in Austria and there's only a small percentage of asians here, so it seems foreign to me.
In your experience, why do your parents expect so much from you? Is it because they just want you to be "better" than them, or is there a different reason?
Word bro, when I was a kid my dad would always drill into my head that I need to go to college and get a bachelors degree he didint care what I liked he didn't acknowledge my opinions about college and what I wanted to do with my life, I guess thats how asian parents are bro 🤷♂️
Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our Lord, and by this means to save his soul.
And the other things on the face of the earth are created for man and that they may help him in prosecuting the end for which he is created.
From this it follows that man is to use them as much as they help him on to his end, and ought to rid himself of them so far as they hinder him as to it.
For this it is necessary to make ourselves indifferent to all created things in all that is allowed to the choice of our free will and is not prohibited to it; so that, on our part, we want not health rather than sickness, riches rather than poverty,honor rather than dishonor, long rather than short life, and so in all the rest; desiring and choosing only what is most conducive for us to the end for which we are created..
If your family has been in the US for a couple generations before you...have your parents met these expectations themselves? Being a first gen immigrant is one thing. But I don't get the parent's attitude after they've been born in the US (or Canada or France or the UK, etc), and not met their own expectations in their own lives, and yet are obviously fine.
With ADHD, it's really easy to get in touch with my inner self. I ask it "What should I do with life?" and it says "The person who invented the escalator must have been like 'Hey, let's make stairs... but moving.'" And off I go into the wonderland of moving footpaths.
I loved this comment man, thank you!
@@NathanielKuros Glad you liked it, haha.
Nobody explains things like you do. Dr K you are literally like the personification of the professional all those who've been forever set on the existential quest and felt like there was something wrong with them because of it have been dreaming of listening to for a lifetime. Can't get enough of your incredible content!
Feeling this a lot lately … I’m a vet nurse of 15 years. I feel like I was meant to do this but I’m now 35, I still love animals but don’t feel passion towards the job anymore. No idea what I want to do. I’m sick of working long 10 hour days and not earning enough for what I do. I have a loving family and amazing, real friends. I’m single because of deep seated self-esteem issues and internet dating is hell. Social media and mindless scrolling is sucking up all my time. I have no motivation or hobbies. So stuck …
35 here too. Need a huge life change. Have you thought of volunteering to help animals? I feel like animals brought to the vet are already looked after, of course they still need you, but not the way feral or homeless ones do. I just adopted a lame pony with health issues and it feels great, though very difficult. I can't scroll for hours, because I have to check on the pony.
Also, good luck with the online dating, it IS possible to find someone good for you. Going on 7 years with a dr I met online and I dragged him out of the city to live in the country and he loves it
Literally my life - I'm 35... I decided to escape this all (not being a nurse but working in machine industry for 20 years), quit finally my job and got myself a camper to travel around. I'm partly happy, but the general melody of my life is still the same.
One good thing is, even when it's really painful, is to work on what has hurt me so deeply when I was a child to make me feel so unlovable.
Finally I feel trapped the same way.
I'm a 34 year old male and different industry, but other than those, echo everything you said here. I really don't have much reason to complain ( well paying job in an industry I enjoy, good family & a few close friends), but just unsatisfied with life, and with the world today don't know how to get unstuck.
What part of the country? Some places aren't conducive to just finding a life. I often wonder if too many people think their job is their purpose. I never did that, made a business just to produce money but drop it like a bad habit at the end of every day. Made sure it gave me what I wanted most which is time, and found out that even though I had that, nobody else did. So I had time all by myself. Having dogs really helped, moving across the country to hang out with friends that prioritize time now.
I feel this in my soul.
Been in my industry the same amount of time. Abstaining from a lot of types social media helps somewhat. You could try and see if you could fill up that time with something else, like a hobby or something you enjoy... Little things like that have helped me and just having connectedness to others, friends, family. Good vibes your way, you'll figure it out. Sometimes these things take time. Just stay hopeful😃
I go to a job I absolutely hate every day, and when I apply to jobs that I feel fit me better, I never get interviews with them. I am competitive and hate looking bad and losing, and I feel like no matter how hard I try at my job, its just a struggle to do and everyone else makes the work look and seem easy. I just want to actually start getting good at some type of career. I don’t care what it pays as long as it fits me and my strengths.
I'm at the same place now. I recently lost my job at the library after working my ass off to get a masters in library science. The field is changing drastically and has become way too political and there's a lot of technology use that burns me out. I have to move back in with my mom now so its been rough. I am doing a degree now in CSI and I feel like this aligns a little better with my actual personality and investigative tendencies. I'm still not sure what I want to do or be though and am still learning about myself.
I took a LONG break from everything last year, and just kind of sat in my thoughts. After being paranoid and anxious for years I sat and analyzed myself, my core beliefs and thoughts. I found my motivation and will to live through it
im still at the stage of finding motivation. was highly successful but all my core beliefs were shatered after covid, im still in the process of thinking and contemplating why i am here.
Way to go, dude! I had a sort of "long break from everything" for a year and a half myself, and it's sort of coming together! It's this weird thing about suddenly being able to actually take initiative in my life, just kinda like "just GO for it, man"; a feeling I haven't been able to feel in ages.
Hope you're doing well :D
Kinda like René Descartes emptying his metaphorical basket of apples, analyzing them for any signs of rot, and placing them back again into the basket.
Thank you
21:06 ahhh there it is. All the time i listen to people talk and talk about this subject. Its satisfying hearing a real answer.
I became a doctor because my parents and grandparents wanted it. As a woman, I was told to get married right after graduation despite my own views on following a successful career path I was already on, chosen by my parents. After marriage I had to move away to a country that did not allow me to practice medicine as an expatriate and despite a decade of struggle and rejection I remained unemployed and unlicensed. I have now finally decided to let go and make a career switch, gone back to graduate school. It was something I wanted to do for a long, long time but didn't have the motivation because I was so depressed and everything felt hopeless. And I would be constantly trying to numb it/not think about it by watching videos on TH-cam, read books, scroll social media. It's just a flash of inspiration that came out of nowhere and made me apply and get admission to a masters program all within like 3 days! My point is , for the first time in ages I finally have a purpose free of anyone else's expectations, by my own decision, and it just completely changed my mindset. I feel free
Bless u
Good luck !
Great, good luck..
Oh yeah. Society really doesn't like women having careers. Men want a subservient housewife.
I'm happy for you ❤️
I'm 36 and still trying to right the ship... You see success in individuals around you who are in your age range or even younger, and the expectation is that by now, you should have it all figured out. Be established, married with kids and building into retirement...It's a tough pill to swallow but I won't let it crush me. Just gotta keep searching.
I could totally relate to it. I'm working on it just like you to make things work for us. Hope good things happen sooner.
34 here and just want to end it all most of the time, because I am trapped in a cycle of wake up, work my ass off for shit pay, go home, eat, and try to rest a little before going to bed. Rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat, rinse and repeat. Nothing matters, and nothing I do is of any consequence.
The reality is that a lot of it is fake. You see that guy with the brand spanking new mercedes, but the reality is he's paying like $700 a month for the next 8 years just to even sniff at affording it, completely neutering himself of financial freedom for the sake of building an image. You see the couple with a house and children, but then it may be they aren't compatible and it's too late, leading a life that's making an unhappy marriage inevitable. Or the kids are keeping them down from things they haven't tried in life. I realized that in reality, most of us don't have it figured out and the people that look like they do, likely don't have things figured either.
@@aland9984 I couldn't agree with you more. Everything is leased now - cars, homes, holidays, which creates this false sense of "being late to the party". But ask those people if they're truly happy - that spark of panic in their eyes explains it all. They're too affraid to have that conversation internally in their heads.
I think most people forgets that you're not your job, you're not your car. Material items don't define you as a human being.
Boredom hasn't ever really been an issue for me. My mom said i was such a good baby I'd just entertain myself. Through nature and nurture i was mostly into reading, and living inside my own head. So much so it's hard to actually interact with others
Same here.
It's always been hard to relate to people who get bored. Life is endlessly fascinating if you want it to be. You don't need much when you are introspective from the door.
Most other people go outward for their stimuli. People like us go inward.
I used to be like you, till I got so interested in myself and nature I developed delusions.. now on meds to make me normal and am bored to the bone ... I hate normal !!
@@deniss7476 i dont think you developed delusions because you got very interested in yourself and nature. you probably went through a lot of mental stress and without seeing a better way to cope you imagined and warped your interests in such a way for your stress to be relieved.
Me too.didnt give my parents headaches.
@@deniss7476 Can I ask . . . what makes you believe they are delusions?
This is seriously an amazing and insightful talk. And it actually explains why travelling had such a profound impact on me. Thank you for putting this out there.
Berserk got the point across well.
The whole beginning of the book is basically talking about dreams and how its important to have one (basically a goal in this case). For Griffith it was to own his own kingdom no matter what and he looked down upon anyone who did not have a dream of their own as he saw them as living pointless lives, Casca's dream was to be Griffiths sword (metaphor obviously) so that she could help him achieve his dream and be part of him. But all through the story Guts is trying to find his and is struggling, he just goes from one battle to another fighting on behalf of others and to survive but has no clear goal or destination.
Then he talks to a blacksmith named Godo who explains to him that his dream/goal in life was to excel at his craft and he explained that he didn't really know why he wanted to do that but he enjoyed watching the sparks that ignited from the hammer hitting the metal. It was that one simple thing that brought him pure joy and entertainment in what he was doing and it pushed him to pursue his craft and become one of if not THE best sword maker around. Guts ended up finding his dream from this in which he too noticed and enjoyed the sparks of his sword clashing against an opponents.
Thats when he realised he never originally understood his craft of fighting and war but he came to the same realisation as Godo that he simply enjoyed the thrill of the fight and that his goal was to keep fighting stronger opponents and swing his blade.
You may ask "why are you bringing up the plot of a manga in detail?" well because the point I gathered from the story was its important to have a dream/goal but it doesn't have to be some grand thing or the same as everyone elses. It can be something large and extravagant like becoming wealthy or famous etc similar to Griffith, it can be to help others or a certain someone reach their goal like Casca's or it can simply be to excel in something you enjoy or to keep doing something that you enjoy like Guts and Godo. It may take some time before you discover it but its out there and it could be a lot more simpler than you think.
berserk fan not taking any chance to reference the story of berserk challenge: impossible
@@Turbo-DF it'd just too damn good....its the weeb equivalent of crack
Big shoutout fellow bersek fan
You could relate that to everything, the Rocky movies are a better example.
Referencing Berserk and a Devil May Cry enjoyer, no way this comment was not gonna be beautiful.
One thing I realized about when he started talking about boredom and how it works. I realized that I've been 100% bored in life and have done nothing to get out of that state other than video games because I thought it would help. However, when he said that we need to learn how to reconnect with our internal selves and such. I realized that the times where I cry for no apparent reason is where I am finally getting a taste and sense of what my internal self is telling me. And just by hearing that, it's just now as I'm watching, helped me realize what I need to do in order to not feel bored with life and to help find purpose again. This stuff right here is the stuff I needed to hear.
Hi, what is it you need to do ? I’m sorry if that’s a dumb question but I keep asking myself, watching videos, telling my therapist. Nothing just seems to click
@@alternateVSNS At the time, I was in an extremely stressful job that put me in a rough spot. I realized it wasn't what I wanted to do in life, cooking in a restaurant, or cooking in general, despite having gone to culinary school, so I quit. I went from 4 hours per week, RIP, to 48 hours, hence the stress, on top of being 1 of 4 working in this high end restaurant as a prep cook. Cooking and such is not my passion like it used to be. So I need to find what I'm passionate about and use that. I realize I should've elaborated on that, lol.
@@aldahviirthedovah8148 right ! this video helped you shine a light on the malaise then ? thank you for clarifying, it's a big journey ahead of us. nonetheless, being aware of it and wanting to change is our most precious weapon !
@@aldahviirthedovah8148 I highly recommend exercise. It has helped me a lot. I specifically do weight lifting and I have purpose now in watching the numbers go up and working towards lifting heavier weight, but you can do the same thing with like swimming or sports or any for of exercise really.
@@TDYT103 I've been getting back into exercise recently, and I found a way that works for me and is giving me results too. It definitely lifts my mood when I finish my session for the day. And obviously I try to not overdo it. I just try to stick to my schedule and up the difficulty whenever I feel I'm ready for more. It's great, especially since I can do a lot without needing to buy some fancy equipment like other hobbies.
Go with your pace. It's ok if things aren't happening exactly as it was planned. We aren't here to prove anything but to live. So enjoy the moments 😊
I like this positive take. I feel it's hard to find positivity these days. This is coming from a pessimist.
What if living proves we hate being alive, and don't enough relish those moments?
@@percussionfellow6168 Huh?
im not allowed to. If i go at my pace im going to be homeless
@@Bababooey759 : I will pray for you. This too shall pass.
I am in vietnam for 30 days now and people here are very happy and they work 10 hours a day. One of the reasons i think is being in touch with ur family and friends so much. Family abd friends ALWAYS eat together. They care alot for each other. And vietnam is a poor country overall. Most of them don‘t have much but if you got a good bond with family and friends your life becomes more PURPOSEFUL. Living for yourself will not make u happy in the long run. I had to find that out myself.
So yea i can recommend anyone to take good care of your best friends and family. Taking care of other people financially (for example as a man) or householdwhise (example woman) gives you PURPOSE in live. They have a roll to PURSUE and this roll has impact on others.
I really hope all of you im the comments find peace and a good family if you don‘t already got one. For me i find a bit purpose in working as a nurse. I enjoy helping others it gives me purpose in life. But being there financially for someone else can also give purpose.
PURPOSE is the REASON why you do something.
Yesterday I planned suicide again. And I’ve started to watch pörn again. I’ve lost meaning yet AGAIN and I feel empty of tries to recover. This video made me feel a tiny bit of hope for 5 seconds, which means more than you know. So thank you for making it.
you wanna talk ? :(
@@zuko8946 that is kind of you to offer but I don’t want to burden others ❤️
@@Sunnybias It's not a burden , I'm happy to help in anyway I can , I am struggling with the same stuff
I get ya dude, me too
Focus your mind on things you're grateful for. It appears you are a very physically healthy person, so why not be so grateful for that? Also, connect yourself with others. It's very important; connect yourself with friends and some family as much as possible♡