INTP Advice: Don't be an Open Book
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 16 ก.ค. 2024
- You can contact me at mbti2679@gmail.com for any business inquiries, questions, or stories! You may be featured in a video sometime in the future!
Today I discuss a problem INTPs have concerning being too open about themselves including:
INTPs' need for truth and why it is so important
Why other non INTP types don't necessarily like the truth and many times can't handle it
Robert Greene's 3rd law of power and how this can be applied to INTPs
Why I think you as an INTP should keep your cards close to the chest and not be an open book
Thanks for watching!
Totally agree with this. I find myself explaining things only to land on deaf ears. I think ppls egos keep them from taking advice. It's so annoying but I'm learning to save my logic for ppl that actually are going to consider it.
As u should💗
those people will be really rare, still waiting and always deaf ears. they don't understand Ti could help them, they usually feel like I think I'm just trying to look smart or be important or be bossy. I am not talking to anyone anymore.
People who lack comprehension have difficulties seeing views not their own. Ego too gets in the way.... "Yeah, i have sought council by the nerd, I'm dumb.". Unlikely scenario.
@@elnogo9196 True dat. I am INTJ and even I start developing Ti to make my sure my project and logic become more accurate over times.
Is this the best way to totally agree with this though?
INTP, "If you are a true INTP, thinking is your best quality," INTP in their head, "But what about the time I was wrong about this thing and that thing." ad infinitum
Being right 90% is still impressive
But aren't you still learning if proven wrong even if your pride is damaged?
@@ADerpyReality I guess it would depend on how you reacted after being proven wrong. If For instance, if I find I was wrong about something, I could either realize this, understand why, or double down and still say I'm right even though evidence says otherwise. The one who did the latter will not learn from their mistakes, but the one who did the former definitely has more of a possibility of learnst from it. Perhaps that's what makes the difference. Who knows?
This was my first though.
@@intpsurvivalguide2473 yes I need at least a 98% rate
I think I’m becoming an old INTP because people will ask me for advice now and unless it’s something that actually interests me I just say “I don’t know” and carry on with my life
lol
Ive learnt the hard way not everyone deserves my loyalty it has to be earned.
I learned it the hard way. I'm 22 now, so I'm grateful its not too late. my whole life i have been surrounded by feelers and even for us thinkers its sometimes hard to accept the truth. what i learned through trial and error and exercising my Fe is most of the times people just want someone to listen to their problems or what they are going through, even though the solutions INTPs are offering can be greatly beneficial to them what they primarily seek is sympathy & empathy. This is exactly the reason INFJ/ENFJ/ISFJ/ESFJ s are liked so much by people. Unlike us INTPs, most of the people repel the truth; blissful ignorance >> true painful awareness. If possible, try asking people "do you want me to just listen this time or to offer you some solutions?" ( I live in a place ( India) where people greatly value extroverted feelings)
Please don't judge people because of this.
Also I recommend reading all Robert Green books for INTPs , including "laws of human nature"
I used to give advice but people would never listen so I stopped. Now my friends get really angry that I don’t give advice. My friend said to me once “ you can give advice but I don’t have to take it” that’s true but the effort that I put into giving the best advice takes a lot of work and if someone is just going to ignore it then I would rather not bother.
People in general are not able to handle the truth. How many times have I been accused of being a narcissist for simply telling people what I think? Now I prefer they don't even ask and I embrace my peaceful life of solitude
You don't want any relationships at all?
Been there, done that...I am happy with three cats and a dog. I don't need outside validation and perfectly happy by myself
@@conniesieg1566 there is more to relationships than validation. They can help you grow and you can help them grow. Also you might regret not having any later down the road. Just something to think about.
I'm old...and happier than I've ever been in my entire life....trust me
@@conniesieg1566 hmm. Ok
I think a biblical equivalent to the law of power for Christians at least in relationships is (Guard your heart Proverbs 4:23.)
You know what scripture i thought about & helped me shut up...
Matthew 7:6
Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.
Thanks hon, I just turned 64, and have had very few people in my life totally get me. You get us. I appreciate your work, and grateful, so grateful for what you do for us.
as an intp, i relate so much when im always misinterpreted as rude or disrespectful. im not really good in sugarcoating things and is very direct to the point when im conversing. the very reason why i just have 3 friends and its peaceful that way
Ive been acquiring more friends. Its nice too
I feel like you are like a strategic INTJ teaching me. I always think INTP is like an INTJ with more thinking power but with little to no strategy. This advice is very important for protecting ourselves and powerful for reaching our goals.
Bruh, you just describes me... an INTJ whose plan only spans 5 years max but have developed better Ti usage over times...
"Tell them what they want to hear."
Anyone wanting me to tell them what they want to hear is not in my circle.
Damn! this feels like home. MBTI is really amazing in how it's been able to unravel the ways we all are. What you said was uncannily relatable and true
Yes it is nice to know why we are the way we are. Thanks for watching!
This is great. I just found out that I am a INTP, so naturally I've been watching every video I can on the matter. It's a great relief that I finally got some validation... I kept trying to tell everyone that I'm not crazy 😅. But seriously thank you for this. It's just that I've never felt like I've ever been actually heard before and now I have and I didn't even have to say a word.
i just lost an INFJ friend just because i tried to explain myself at every point while they're not even interested
this video was very helpful
Maybe I'm unusual in this regard but I don't tend to do this as much. I have found that most people can't or won't understand anyways so I just don't explain it to them. There are rar exceptions to this rule, but they have to prove their, I'm not sure what to call it, loyalty? Not necessarily loalty but they have to prove that they can understand and that they won't just bail out when I say something unusual to them. Sometimes I give them tests where I saysomething that's not completely me, but has characteristics of me just to see who responds properly in my eyes. If no one does, I act accordingly. Perhaps this is my advice to all of you, but I could be wrong about this being the right way to do this. Who knows?
the walking people through your thought process unsolicited is so accurate, it’s more of a compulsion in an effort to be understood
Really appreciated this one, very accurate and solid advice. Oversharing or blunt honesty is your enemy if not around the right people to receive it or understand you.
This is unnecessary and too much mental work. If you can't be straight with someone then they aren't worth speaking to. Playing the game sounds like torture. Not speaking your mind is a waste of time. If someone doesn't like it when you're honest then they don't like you.
just be who you are, dont try and filter yourself with bullshit. be YOU. you realize how sad it is to tell yourself you need to not be open because of how others receive that ? you are not living on this earth for such a short time in order to please others. youre here to be your authentic self and meet the people who love you for you
Can you make a video about things INTP should remember all the time about anything (which usually we forget)?
I try to include in all my videos things to remember. If you could elaborate further I will let you know
In regard to sharing intp "wisdom": It's not so much that others have to gain intp's respect before speaking, but that through incremental probing it becomes more clear whether others want, need and can handle pragmatic advice. Sometimes others really need a good solution and then it's a matter of creatively finding a means to communicate it in a way they can accept. Being able to disregard a person's respect or lack of respect for you is a means of efficacy. If you know what you have to say is valuable (i.e. true AND helpful) then being able to focus on the delivery (i.e. expend the limited intp energy), and not toward ego protection is truly liberating.
Glad you’re back💪🏾☀️
Good to be back!
INTPs value the truth. Same video: just tell people whatever they want to hear.
He only suggests telling people what they want to hear, when they don't really want to hear the Truth. He's spot on. People that don't want to hear the Truth, are going to give you shit anyway. Like you just did.
I'm gonna ask them whether they want to hear thuth or the soothing lie they want to hear . this is not my problem it's on them now
@@mad-eyemoody7557 To make a real and lasting and much needed impact on the lives of others, I think that question NEEDS to be asked with Compassion. The world NEEDS Truth right now, not sarcasm or the need to be right.
I tell them my reasoning when I debate things but I hide my intentions regarding my long term goals.
I just found your account yesterday and I’m so glad you’re actively posting. This has helped me realize myself more as a person and how I think. Thanks!
I just stumbled on your channel, and really appreciate the content. I’m a new subscriber.
I once made the mistake during a conversation in which I revealed my preference for keeping people guessing, in effect, pushing back against any notion that I might be pigeon-holed. This instantly resulted in an assumption that I was less than transparent, unworthy of trust, representing a risk to my associates.
I protested that I’m nothing if not trustworthy, but an unbiased and pragmatic strategist operating on the basis of logic.
In essence, I’d parted the curtain to reveal the unvarnished nature of the wizard at the levers and dials. It was a valuable lesson, reminding me why a magician should never reveal the illusion lest it be regarded resentfully as treacherous deceit.
It’s much better to be viewed as a magician, delivering magic.
It is funny and interesting (even ironic ) to me: when INTP provides solutions to others, it feels like INTP being INTJ-like mastermind. So intelligent and genius. While INTP is reflecting on theirselves, like blind, trapped and totally missed the clear observation. Like I am 24/7 completely being an idiot towards my situations while advice for others is so clean and insightful LOL. True that being open book to not important people is a waste of resources. Great video appreciated it👍
Best advice I’ve received from stoicism that helps escaping analysis paralysis, sometimes you get to win, sometimes you get to learn 😅
this was really good advice, and much needed
Yes, I quickly lose faith in people who lie. Somewhat related, also, is that I quickly lose faith in people who confidently assert something that they have no way of knowing. First, they're trying to look smart but end up looking at best undisciplined in their thinking and at worst outright stupid; second, it feels like they're challenging me to refrain from calling them out.
I've felt so isolated from society, I never even thought of how I might fit in with other INTP's. I'll have to mull that over. ;) Thank you for helping me understand myself.
Spot on. Thanks Tyler, always appreciate your insights.
Love your videos so much , they are like guiding light for me, keep up the good work
tnx men i am amazed how accurate you are in pointing out problems
Welcome back, Tyler. Glad things seem to be going well for you irl. I actually got the notification for the video post this time. I appreciate the time and thought you put into these videos and am looking forward to the next one.
Everything you say is pretty spot on and a relief... the thoughts nit stopping can be much sometimes when they're not respected
Thanks for the video, welcome back brother.
Thanks mate, have watched hundreds of INTP videos and yours are definitely the best and most accurate!
That makes me so happy to hear. Appreciate the comment!
I just subscribed 10/2023, and I'm in awe. I see your last video was a year ago. You must come back!!!
Welcome back! Excellent video! Thank you, very helpful for me.
Nothing is worse than knowing exactly what you need to do then have the "input" of idiots opinions
This was good. Gave me an idea. Thanks.
Really missed those video. Thanks for being back 🤗
This is good! Thank you
You put out incredible much needed information, even if we already know it. Looking forward to the discord.
Accurate at the core, though situationally it can vary. Subbed ❤️
Thanks greatly, watching this video has helped me increase my bonds/relationships with my friends as well as their relationships.
Thank you. That’s really a good idea.
Thank you so much for helping intps
Wow, this is the niche channel I didn’t know I needed! lol time to play catch up, thanks for the content in advance 👍🏼
The first time I read Robert Green’s book, I hated it. It depicted a gloomier world than my idealism would allow.
Now, after entering the real world, I see the wisdom in it. It's especially useful when dealing with NTs, STs, and SPs.
Our inferior Fe function is the problem. It wants approval from others, and tries to charm through lovey dovey childlike behaviors and then Ti makes this worse - as you well document - by needing to explain ourselves.
Effective, well respected people are those who silently execute their business and keep their intentions to themselves. Our thought process is too complicated and subjective for others especially in speech. Academic writing is the place to explain INTP thoughts.
From now on, my lips are sealed. Let the mysteries of INTP do all the work for me.
Ik I’m late but this explained me to a T and I came to the same conclusion not too long ago. I’d just rather not be around ppl until I or they need something. I’m fine with it being superficial like that. I don’t have the time nor care anymore to coddle ppls feelings. When you’re ready to do something about it or get something done, then I’m your girl. I know I’m not that huge empath that everybody wants so I just validate and agree with ppl, that’s all they desire in that moment anyways. I can understand you but I won’t “feel” you. I’m tired of being shamed and shaming myself for not understanding peoples complexities and it’s not my job to do so at the end of the day. It’s not to say INTP’s don’t have feelings but I’m not in them constantly so it shouldn’t be expected for me to be in others.
Learning I am wrong makes me stronger/smarter, I never feel bad about that. I don't care how you feel about my rock solid logic. The means justify the ends, and the ends do not matter. It is not my purpose to change your mind, it is my purpose to tell you the truth. My truth is a seed that will bear fruit in due time. Hear me now, believe me later.
the only thing i struggle as an intp is comforting people especially some people imortant like a best friend.. i feel like im always looking for solutions and not really comforting them with empathy
thanks for the advice
I usually use reverse pyschology to advice someone.
For instance:
- Me: "bro, can you pass me the drink?- , or you know what, nvm, I can walk over to take it"
- Brother: "Nah, its ok."
It just have different reaction but often with the result you want
the conclussion I got in this day was the same of this video
best logical explanation
I finally found my place. I never really understood myself or why I did the things I did. Now I'm trying to get to know myself.
Ummm, look.. I see the logic here. I see why you’re saying what you’re saying and you’re right, but only to an extent. I’m surrounded by very sensitive feelers and for some reason, they always come to me with their problems. Unfortunately I need to explain to them why I say what I say or I end up hurting their feelings. They need to understand where I’m coming from and that I’m only saying the things I do because I care. Not explaining that to them makes them think I’m a bitch.
Also, with the dating/friendship advice and how you said, “play the game a little bit”… no thank you. If I have to play a game to keep someone interested, then I’d rather be alone. I am who I am and there’s a very select few who appreciate me for me. I’m married to an ENTJ and he loves my critical or brutal honesty, in fact he thinks it’s helped him throughout his entire career and that he wouldn’t be where he is without my input.
A game has to end at some point, so just be yourself from the start.
So true! My best friend is INFJ and I always choose to give explanations as well.
Good shit 👍🏼
To lead by deep, introverted TI with the NE to feed a plan or idea makes someone way above the normal intelligence. As INFP, my NE, directed by personal values really serves amazing understanding and knowledge.
You said in a previous video that you’d teach us how to better interact with people by knowing their functions, is that video planned soon?
Yes I will likely make this my next video.. so stay tuned
I still think often how a significant percentage of the world can go through their lives avoiding truth for superficial fleeting dopamine kicks.
And then there's me, pondering things that would and do make people shake their heads in confusion.
It is rather frustrating when you see the solution to a problem, provide the solution, only to have most people brush over it or not even understand it.
It's nice to know that others in the world have also felt like they didn't belong.
Thank you so much 🙏 this video is highly appreciate it because I am getting control of myself...OMG 🙄 I am open book and I hated now 🙏🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
Hey Tyler, I have a video/series idea for you that you inspired here - guides for different MBTI types interested in interacting with their INTP friends or love interests. How those types might misinterpret things or pitfalls they might fall into, or misunderstandings that might come up. (the inverse could be good too, how to handle interactions with specific types from an INTP perspective, though that might be in your "have anyone fall for you" video, haven't seen that one yet)
Cannot wait for you to release nemesis Te
As a fellow INTP, i enjoy your videos. I hope your channel continues.
You have good info man but I really don't think INTPs should necessarily be the ones giving relationship advice....playing games is for boys. If you have the right attitude and are a good catch, you shouldn't have to fake anything. That part makes me cringe a bit. INTPs should play to our own strengths. We are the opposite of needy, we are smart, we are fiercely independent, we can be funny. Those are all attractive traits to women. The strategy I suggest for the INTP is not to get too attached to only 1 option and girls will pick up on that if you mean it and they will pursue you instead. I do see the value in the withholding of some information as you suggest but if you are only after 1 single person and you are set on that person, you are already negotiating from a position of weakness.
im korean intp.
i agree this to some extent.but i think reading can be helpful because i write ideas every time when i come up with idea from reading book.
when i come up with something with reading, i open my note and i write it right now.
so if you read book like this way, reading book can be great way to improve your logic and knowledge
but this way can take long time
Recently found out I’m an INTP answered a lot of my questions thanks lol
You're like the best friend I never had❤️
"Above all to thine own self be true."
Silence will be a challenge for us precisely because our inner world is so verbose.
2:30 Constant insecurity
9:12 Explain
11:09 Need to know basis. I find it weird you think INTPs aren't like this already. I certainly am an undersharer and it seems to be holding me back where people can sense I don't trust them. Now you're encouraging me to continue.
Though not being an open book in the business world and to people insignificant to you will be very helpful. This could backfire when it comes to family, important friends and romantic relationships. Mind games in dating are so tiring and come off as insincere to me.
I don't agree something you said. That is you sometimes tell people only what they want to hear. I think you better not. You may be more compatible with the environment but may eventually lose your questing for the real truth. I don't compromise that way if i am not missing something.
law 3 is one of the most important in the book and you’ll feel like an idiot once u realize how many times you have broken it
Important video
Yes i agree Ti need to just do it like Te users, not explain it .. the proof/reward will come when projects complete... mindset of a Te user...! Everyone hates us in process but loves us when its complete... haha Most people cant follow your Ti rant, tis all!
Sooooo true.
My advice for you since your gf is moving in with you. Read these books as soon as you can.
Rational male by Rollo,
Unplugged alpha by Rich,
Atomic attraction
Don’t dismiss them cause of the negative connotations. Just read it
Could you maybe sum up these books in 2 - 3 sentences?
I'm not a huge fan of Robert Greene. It seems every example of his laws of power come off as manipulative. I think there is a difference between acting mysterious around a woman you like and literally dating other women with the sole intention of creating interest (or more likely, jealousy, in this example). I usually just keep quiet on dates with the ocassional funny comment or insight and that seems to work a lot better. Once I get to know them a bit better I reveal my quirky personality. If they aren't into it, then it's not going to work. I just think the example you gave is going to come off as "untruthful" to most INTPs and they aren't going to do anything that they/we perceive that way.
He's trying to show us human nature so we are aware of what goes on. He's not teaching us to do it. So we aren't naive to it.
@@idaliaperez4456 Learn the game and choose not to play it. I believe that is our calling.
i hope i could remember this advise in the real life
This reply is a reminder :)
gentle reminder😀... -fellow INTP
Absolutely
At times i fit the intp very well and i also fit in the istp too. I guess it depends on what phase am i going through usually when im relaxed im more of an intp than an istp. But when im under stress im totally an istp. Writing this as an intp i guess
" I may be very opinionated but I make up for it by always being right"
Okay you know, I usually appreciate this channel a lot, but now I have to offer a criticism, which is about the dating story in 13:00 and generally the concept of power in relationships. It is obviously true that we as INTPs have to learn to keep to ourselves and that guy should have definititely not dramatically revealed his feelings. However, trying to start out a relationship by being manipulative is never goint to lead into anything healthy and is just toxic. And also cowardish, because getting caught up in the game spirit is a withdrawal from exposing yourself and not a brave way of fighting.
my reaction too! hot and cold is narcissistic controlling behavior, very disrespectful. it is quite another thing to maintain self composure and a mysterious affect.
This guy is dropping truth bombs like crazy
Thanks for watching!
Feelers stress me out
I really dont think "playing the game" is good advice when it comes to relationships. Be who you are from the start. A good longterm relationship cannot be founded on lies. Of course playing the game is fine in an actual game when your goal is to win, but when you want a partner your goal is not to just get together, you want to stay together for a long time, while not having to continously lie or play a charachter (i think thats actually sociopathic behavior).
I cant explain myself anymore.
I've learnt not to do this with a lot of people but I need to engage certain people long(ish) term or at least maintain contact (usually sensors) and I can't come up with topics for conversation that interest them and ofc I'm terrible with small talk mostly because I can't think of enough replies to keep them talking about themselves and it would require a lot of my free time to have some experience that I can share but don't need rn, so I end up defaulting to this with them. (I was basicallly forced into isolation from a young age by my family and never fully learnt how to properly interract and maintain contact with people that aren't really close to me.) And then ofc they end up losing respect for me and treating me condescendingly. Do you have any ideas?
Okay....so...I think in general this is probably good to practice, even if it is incredibly difficult. But...in relationships, do you really want the partner that expects games????
I read robert greene and while I admit it is good advice I cannot bring myself to follow a lot of it in just feels inherently wrong to me I am unsure how to explain it.
I feel like not telling what I'm doing is lying, even though (I'm wrong)/(that isn't true)
Could you do a simple (*) about how other people work and, most importantly, think differently from us?
(*) I mean, the research can't be exact since you, unfortunately, cannot enter other people's mind
I wish this video was made 10yrs ago
Robert Greene has written more than 3 books, I recommend you them all.
Completely agree with you. I find i love to talk about my ideas but, often people get confused and start to think im crazy. I find its much better to just do it, and talk after.