Yes, always questioning oneself, always searching for more info, often double guessing oneself and never believing that you know enough about the subject to satisfy oneself, but at he same time believing you know enough about the subject to challenge others.
There’s moments where I love myself and I’m like “I’m awesome” then the next minute I do something stupid and I’m like “I hate myself I’m an idiot” I’m an intp btw.
lolol, I didn't notice that. So true. I rarely start a video at the beginning because I'm looking for content. But I started Nathan's video at the beginning! Thanks!
*What INTPs must never do IMHO: nothing.* Never do nothing; do something, do anything with your time, with your life, with all your ideas and feelings! Don't waste yourself. Don't waste your life or ruin your body by living some un-life in your own head.
This is me right now and over the past years. Just lying there, depressed, alternately dreaming of all the things I could do and wanting to die cause of meaninglessness. Im always doing nothing. It's so hard to get out of the loop.
It's remarkably easy for INTPs to attach ego to being correct. We just don't see that we are doing it. We become experts and, as such, we are too busy knowing everything to learn anything. We are so busy knowing the answer that we fail to listen to the question.
So true. If I had a dollar for every time I told my INTP husband to answer the question I asked or to let me finish before reacting, I’d be as wealthy as Elon Musk says he is.
Any other INTPs struggle with the desire to learn too much, too often? Like an overwhelming feeling that you need to watch another video or read another article before you try something because you want to make sure you're prepared, but this feeling has started to get in the way of actually taking initiative, actually doing the thing, and learning via experience?
Middle aged INTP here. 1) Attaching your ego to being right. Rarely been an issue. As I've told many people on many occasions, I question just about EVERYTHING, and nothing more so than my own reasoning. I know very few things to be true, but you'll have a very hard time convincing me I'm wrong on those few things. Everything else is up for grabs. 2) Stop learning. My learning has slowed considerably over the decades, but it hasn't stopped. My passion for learning has cooled, but it still flares up often enough. 3) Rushing into (or being rushed into) relationships. Ouch. Gut punch there. I got married once to an ENFP I'd been friends with for several years. It was my first marriage and her fourth marriage. I don't know that I "rushed" as such, but it was definitely a poorly conceived plan on my part and I glossed over all sorts of issues and baggage we both brought to the relationship, imagining all those pesky details would just work themselves out organically. Yeah. It didn't turn out that way and she eventually divorced me. Wasn't a good time. Emotional scarring ensued. Won't be doing that again.
Fourth marriage does kind of seem like a red flag.... Do you think in hindsight, you could have found a better way to deal with the baggage before you made the commitment?
@@anival9576 To be fair, she was divorced twice and widowed once, so that last one wasn't really her fault. As for the baggage issue... My baggage was minimal, with the bigger problem on my side being my relative lack of relationship experience. Her baggage was understandably more considerable. One of the bigger MBTI-centric things I learned was that Fi is VERY different from Fe. Being a relatively ignorant-at-the-time Ti-dom, I thought feeling was feeling. I can work with Fe, but Fi-based reasoning was something I didn't even realize was a thing. So "... could [you] have found a better way to deal with the baggage...?" If I could've, I would've. I was out of my depth. Under different circumstances, I might've stumbled upon the "right" answer and turned things around, but that's not how it worked out. Lesson learned, at least. I'm far better off alone by myself instead of alone in a marriage.
@@jimclayson Thanks for the explanation! I agree that Fi and Fe are very different. As an INFJ, I sometimes struggle to relate to Fi dom people--their way of developing a value system is just so different. I guess I'm enough of an idealist that I don't think I'd be happy with the "it was too hard, so I've given up trying" conclusion. I'd be analyzing the crap out of it to see if I could do better the next time. To each his (or her) own, I guess (and I recognize that sometimes the trauma of an experience just drains all the energy for trying out of a person, so there is that...). Anyway, thanks for sharing.
@@anival9576 "I'd be analyzing the crap out of it to see if I could do better the next time." Oh, I analyzed the crap out of it for years. I have a very good idea where things went wrong on both sides. I understand her justifications, but I don't agree with them. She wanted a divorce and there was nothing I could do about it but accept that the decision was hers to make. I'm through torturing myself over her actions and her decisions. I have plenty of regrets, but I'm not the one who gave up. I'm content living single and alone these days.
The relationship thingy hit me hard tbh. Someone tried to rush me to get into a relationship with him, but he is just a friend to me, I don't like changes and being rushed into anything is like suicide for me. After his confession, I rejected him right away and told him that I am not and never ever gonna settle with anyone, but I will continue on being his friend. He couldn't accept it, so he stalked me the whole fucking semester! I'm so scared and fed up, I asked my parents to transfer me to a nearby college, they agreed but only if I get the highest GWA for second semester, which is good because I love challenges and studying took my mind and time from worrying about that psycho guy. Thus, I transferred and became fucking smart. Lesson: I knew why I did that now and I am not an asshole for not letting people rush me into getting in a relationship.
1) You're right. I am in my zone when I deal with uncertainty and paradox ideas than most of my peers. 2) It's hard to do when you're stuck in a routine or mental rut. The best way to stop learning is to be physical shut-ins. I lost five years of my life (plus two years due to pandemic) because I stayed in my house far too long. 3) My problem is being cynical about being in love than rushing into it due to list number 1 and 2. Great vid!
My mother often chided me for being a know-it-all after I corrected her hearsay. I don’t know all but I dislike her tendency to believe any tv presentation on fitness, health, and politics without analyzing. I always say to her “if the guy on tv told you to eat shit to live forever, would you do it?”. I don’t do things without investigation, research, and incubation. It is hard for me to see people just buy into what they hear.
1. Question everything. Don't assert anything. Maintain that intellectual humility and be open 2. NEVER stop learning (personally, learning about something gives me a lot of happiness) 3. Do NOT rush into relationships
26 years old, and I'm not even sure if I took my SATs to go to college. Then again, I achieved high scores on my final exams, and I think going to college won't be an issue.
When arguing, the greatest weapon isn't certainty, it's uncertainty. You don't use answers to win, to find the truth, you use questions. Constantly question the assertions of your opponent. What would it look like, if your opponent was correct? Is that reflected in reality? You don't say "I am right," you say, "If your assertion is correct, then when we test it in such a way, why do your predictions not align with reality? Wouldn't the tendency for certain outcomes to come from specific circumstances be better explained by this model that accurately predicts them?" Detaching the ego from fact and argument isn't an end per se, it's a side effect gained alongside the ability to argue correctly. If you're arguing correctly, detachment is an inevitability.
i say that i'm right until you prove me wrong, i keep my mind open to other possibilities or informations that i don't know about and keep my ego aside because i value truth over anything
There is not a single thing I can think of that I am 100% sure about. Even something like is my mom my mom, we have had DNA tests that shows she is, but what if reality isn’t real? As for learning, I can’t imagine losing interest in it. Relationships… I will think about it. Maybe. Probably not.
You can be sure that you can't be sure about everything, which necessarily requires you to be exist, hence you can only be sure that you exist. Descartes sends his regards
Very insightful I must say, especially the relationship aspect of the video. Rushing in a relationship will almost always breed feelings of loathing for the other person.
Detachment is a tricky issue and probably not possible to attain completely. Current Dalai Lama is a good case study. With life long training in meditation, self-sacrifice and transcendental.contemplation, the Dalai Lama has lost his cool in.recent years. One can come up with very valid and long list of reasons for letting your ego to come forth to express your convictions but point remains that self-detachment is selective and mostly a delusion. I think the best a thinking person can do is to know their biases very clearly and validate or invalidate those skews with knowledge and experience.
Number 2: uh, if I ever stop learning, it will be because there's nothing left to learn. I'm genuinely terrified that that day _might_ exist, to the point that I'd rather destroy the universe and make a new one just to learn more than just bask in my knowledge. Not learning sounds like not breathing to me.
I don't know about INTPs specifically, but perhaps for Ti users in general, the main trap that concerns me is the reliance upon one's internal logic without some kind of external verification. I see this most in the ghastly arena of identity politics and all the arguments surrounding it. People seem to think that just because they have a line of reasoning for something that they are therefore right and must be correct. Ti is only as strong as the data being fed into it. When Ti is mixed with confirmation bias and attribution error, it can be a very dangerous combination that can lead to catastrophic mistakes in the outside world.
Thinking is always objective, i.e. it is always based on a verifiable(falsifiable) framework. What set Ti(logic) apart is that it verifies the internal consistency of an external framework. I.e it analysis a given framework for consistency but it doesn't necessarily offer a new framework. So basically, Te comes with the facts, Ti tries to falsify it.
@@oluchukwuokafor7729 Ideally, yes, but Ti is always referred to as subjective (as are all introverted functions) as it is only as objective as whatever information the Ti user is allowing to be fed into it. Especially when the user allows cognitive biases to filter the information then faulty frameworks or belief systems are created.
@@johnknight9150 cognitive biases typically come from feeling functions, because a bias by definition deals with the way values are assigned to conclusions. Cognitive biases occur when an assigned value isn't justified, so it basically caused by lack of thinking not thinking.
@@oluchukwuokafor7729 But you're just demonstrating the problem. Ti doesn't exist in a vacuum, it sits in a jumble of other cognitive functions which are all influencing each other. No matter how pure you may want to keep Ti, it *is* being influenced by feelings, sensations, and intuition. You are not a computer, you're a squishy organism, which unfortunately for INTPs is ultimately more irrational than rational. Even the purest of minds can't get away from flesh, blood, and hormones.
@@johnknight9150 it depends on how you define rational, if rationality is absence of bias, I would argue that intps are the least biased type on average. The problem with intps is that it is difficult to convince them of their biases when they have one. I agree with most of what you said, my main point is that biases come from the feeling functions not the thinking ones, and since everyone has feeling functions, everyone has biases.
As an INTP I've noticed I watch football and when a goal go's in a momentarily loose interest. Sometimes I cant even describe or remember the goal to a friend. But I can tell you intricate things tactically that were going on.
I realised that "the way is the goal" for us INTPs. We don't need a goal if we just enjoy the learning process. Maybe it is tied to this. Which sport you watch is not important with it 😂 But the goal thing is where we get stuck and feel lost a lot, i'm afraid. Especially if it opens room up for changed that we don't like 😅😅
This is really rewarding to hear. I'm not sure how many INTP videos of mine you've watched but there are many of them on the LoveWho channel. Feel free to check them out! ~ Nathan
As an INTP I never find myself to having any conclusion to a topic, I just find that I've been updated on the topic and collect that information to reflect on what has already been studied and analyzed. I don't attach my ego to information that I tell others rather I get frustrated with the lack of knowledge out of my counterparts that when they disbelieve the information to be true I just know that they didn't put in the effort to go look for themselves. I guess you can say there maybe some ego there but if my counterparts put in there effort to find truth as well we can have a dialogue, but it ends at the surface level of knowledge, I'm deep in the rabbit hole and I'm inviting others to dive in yet they find the dive to be too deep.
I disagree about certainty but agree about arrogance. If you arrive at truth and know it then it's okay to help teach people and be confident in it but yes stay open minded to new possibilities
Good advice. My first thought was, don't do number 3 if you haven't accomplished number 1! Righteousness can make us dogmatic about a position when hurt or tired, allowing us to rationalize the use of cognitive bias and other missteps in defense of our ego. Then again, a relationship might cause you to do number 1! But at least you will be working against number 2 when that happens!
Certainty is safe in regards to the point that rushing into a relationship is something no one should do - and those who rush others know little of appropriacy and likely don't care a hoot for one's happiness ... it's insane how entitled people are with their ignorance
I realise I'm often capable of avoiding trap 1. But when I fall, I fall hard. If that happens on top of a Ti-Si loop, usually there are only 2 ways left to convince me: 1- Show how your framework is also internally consistent: It takes a lot of preperation to withstand my ruthless probing into that "alternative" approach. If and only if the person suggesting that alternative answer is able to withstand and show that their system is doesn't have major inconsistencies, only then I begin considering that approach. Even then, I may not fully embrace it, although I tolerate it. 2- Show me how my premises are incorrect: Usually, people attempt to argue the logic, or dismiss the hypotheticals, and both are big mistakes because if you attempt to argue the logic of an INTP in a Ti-Si loop, you're going to lose. If you dismiss the hypotheticals, (that's often what Te-Si or even Ti-Se users do while arguing with the INTPs) then your framework might be "partially correct, but inconclusive, so I'm gonna stick to my more comprehensive framework" kind of a system. They may see its merit, but likely will not adopt it, sticking to their original ideas because it's more comprehensive and likely closer to the truth, and you haven't shown why they're wrong, you've just told them theirs is irrelevant (well, not to the INTPs). In these cases, I've observed that what Te-Si or Ti-Se users mean with "that's irrelevant" about some hypothetical falls into the category in which INTPs premises are incorrect. This is a difficult approach, however, because it's often the unvoiced premises or hidden assumptions that exist within the framework that cause the problem, so be vigilant and dig deep. Feel free to ask whys to the INTP. An example for hidden assumptions ruining a conclusion: Pascal's wager. Briefly, it is an attempt at showing why one logically must believe in the God (if you're wrong, you have finite losses, but if you're right, infinite gains; also if you don't believe and if you're right, you only have finite gains but if you're wrong then you have a ticket to Hell, an infinite loss). He assumes there's only one possible God to choose from, but considering how thousands of different gods from different religions there are (and some with crueler Hells, hence technically more logical to believe in them than the Christian God or idk any Abrahamic God), this reasoning alone is not a sufficient reason to claim that "logically, you ought to believe in 'the' God."
I have always attached my ego to the belief that I am right. If I am not, come and prove it, I'll listen. But to disregard my views, overrule them etc. without an explanation is the most humiliating thing that can happen to me, and it often does. 😭 So would this be the same an point #1? Or is it different? If I stop this practice I fear I lose my identity/self/however you want to call it! Dreadful idea.
I've often had this thought as well: "If I didn't think my opinion was the best, I'd change it." I think what he's saying in the video is that you need to be open to the possibility that you might be wrong... and you need to allow new information into your framework. That's not the same thing as letting people overrule you without explanation. Some people (who are not even really that invested in their own ideas) will suggest you scrap yours to salve their ego. Ignore those people.
I used to think this way. Then I studied philosophy in order to rid myself of this thinking because, as it seemed to me, having a thing that my identity rested on like that could give someone ultimate control over me and _that_ idea was simply unacceptable. Personally, I like the philosophical systems of karma and stoicism, although the latter is a bit rooted in the idea that a god exists.
The first one 💀 I've had this obsession of getting perfect scores and recitations but failing to keep up the other aspects of my grades. I later realized that it was due to my obsession of being "correct". I've kinda let that part go a bit but I suppose it still lives within me but I don't feel so disappointed when I get stuff wrong anymore. I agree with you as well. Frustrating as it is, we are hardwired to doubt. Things aren't set in stone and being quick to understand that helps a lot in maturing. Of course, it's hard at times because we INTPs often never find a conclusion. But at least we don't easily make mistakes we can regret.
You gain assurance in accuracy when deeply held beliefs and thoughts begin to be felled trees to your studies and pursuit of Truth. At some point in such a process, you know that it's not about ego, goals, self esteem or reputation. At this point you realize your own love for truth when it becomes the altar where some aspect of self dies or is denied. This is where an unshakeable confidence enters your soul. Lies and half-truths can only survive in areas of compromise or political gains. There is a Truth, and I will find it. And then I will make it known.
(INFJ here) Thanks for the insightful video. I was in a long-term relationship with an INTP. Things were not going well, and we were both being held back by the relationship. Not to mention both miserable. He lived with me, and it took me two years to get him to move out. I had to make him despise me in order to get him to leave. It broke my heart as I genuinely love him. A year later, he wrote me a letter thanking me for having the foresight and strength to do what needed to be done. I hate that it ended so badly that we cannot speak again. I had to door slam him. Sometimes an INFJ door slams one of the people they love the most for their own good.
As an INFJ, I can relate to justifying a door slam for "his own good" but I would also forever question myself about such a justification. I'd like to understand the motivation behind it more. Why was the relationship not going well? (That is, can you analyze, in a generic way, the insurmountable obstacles that forced you to take action?) Just wondering.
I’m an INTP who keeps getting “found” by INFJ men. I really struggle with why, because there are soooo many differences, yet in some ways we work so well together. I also would love some of your insights into the pairing (outside of TH-cam stereotypical assessments). I find the REAL INFJ folk to be not much like what is presented as stock.
In our case, our problems had nothing to do with our cognitive preferences. We understand each other on a deep level. Our problems came from personal circumstances that could not be resolved while we were together. I don’t question the decision. In this case, sadly, there really was no other choice. I think Nathan does a very good job explaining the INFJ personality. It is really an odd way of seeing the world. He does emphasize the strengths and positives of the type, as he does for all types. I love that about him. Maybe joining his discord would help learn more about INFJs beyond TH-cam videos? I’ve never met another one. Not necessarily because we are so rare, the true rare part is that we rarely open up to people. Therefore, it’s hard to identify us.
@@blacalmontie Nathan IS one of my favourites. I did try to get into Discord, but it was seriously so overwhelming, I had to leave. Since the INFJ (and ENFJ) are drawn to INTP, I have been able to peg them pretty quick when they come into my life. With a few pointed questions of course. Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.
A common human failing is falling victim to the 'Sunk Cost Fallacy', especially when it comes to investing in ideas. Sometimes it's best to remove ego from a position and make sure you really are evaluating things rationally and not just defending a position because you are invested.
As an INTP, the first point is 100% accurate. Unless you're a nuclear technician at Cherenobyl trying to avert an imminent meltdown, one of two things is probably true: 1) You're more-or-less right, but approaching conversations from this perspective is suboptimal... your first instinct should be to ask, "Since this person is wrong, what is going on? why do they think this way? Maybe I'm not quite as right or they are not quite as wrong as I think. Or maybe they are. Either way, I need more data..." OR 2) You don't understand as much as you think you do. Since we understand so much, this is hard. But as I grow older, I learn more and more the truth of Socrates, the ultimate INTP: "I am wise because I know nothing."
Another thing for INTPs to watch out for: Never take personal advice from an extrovert, especially someone who strongly expresses this personality trait. It will not work out for us, because they are completely unable to intuitively understand us. Just use what they say as data, carefully considering where it comes from. This also applies to other introverted types to some extent.
Yeah, even if I am fully aware that something is basically definitively correct, I still typically add in the clause along the lines of ‘most likely’, ‘probably’, ‘I think’, etc.
I am really bad at asking questions :( but i should try it, i guess it would make conversations more interesting then just them nodding and saying your right and the conversation ends.
Sure I like being right. That's why I am always open to finding out I was wrong. When I find out I was wrong, I become more right than I was before. And yes, rushing into a relationship can lead to disaster.
On the 1st reason, I always stop myself on being certain... because people are very complicated. The problem would be that I always doubt myself and are never certain.
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle : dx dp > h/2 Which suggests that the closer an INTP approaches the correct answer, the greater Heisenberg's skepticism.
Never stopping learning is 100% true. The internet can be filled with vapid nonsense, but can also be an amazing learning tool when you find qualified and knowledgeable content creators. I love Sci Show and John and Hank Green. Find great experts in their field and let it open the door for exploration.
Actually, this makes sense. My father had me hired at his job so I could make great money and buy a car. I was never focused on getting a vehicle in my teens but only on accomplishing my personal goals. It didn't help that I would spend most of my money on video games, anime, and computer stuff, so instead, he would look after my money, and at work, he would have me work hard every day. This job was landscaping, so you can imagine how much I hated it. Regardless, it got the bills paid, and with the money, I bought an Infiniti G37. Over 200 HP, and it drives smooth! I need to learn to be more social, which would help me make new friends. Also, are INTPs afraid of being social with Women? I feel a particular fear towards them, not sure why..... Maybe I dislike social convention, or Is it that Women can have this explosive personality while I'm over here cool as a cucumber and just thinking? Maybe I just overthink things and need to invest in my feelings... This is difficult indeed.
I think same, while talking to same gender (males), I feel like I am very smooth at conversation but when it comes to females either I tend to dodge the conversation or I just ignore. I feel like they have such a personality that I find kinda fear.
INTP women here, I feel the exact same thing but towards men. Most of them are cool and approachable, but my lack of words and ways to communicate with opposite gender might be the main reason why I'm afraid of them? Also while you're saying that most women have explosive personality, I feel the same about men too, but in a way of being very bold and extroverted? Existing in my comfort zone of being in a girl school doesn't help at all. Similar to the day to day basis everything gets done by the others, in this case, the environment.
@@anameig9332 That would make sense, as we are both INTP. And to get things done is necessary, as I am running two start-up companies, and with this workload, I must stay diligent and focused. One company is the same as rooster teeth, as we focus on Anime reviews, Gameplays, and many other things. The other company is a tech company, atm I am building a Phone and an Art tablet. Once I've mastered Coding/Programming, I will create an OS, aka Operating System with Bootstrap, and make sure these products are marketable so that the world will have top-tier technology without the high cost of corporate greed. Motorola will be a thing of the past, as my company Tech X will dominate the phone scene, just like Samsung and Apple. Afterward, I will focus on my other company, Otaku Talk, and we will thrive upon the many anime fans. We shall create content that isn't based on garbage clickbait but with factual evidence and customer satisfaction.
He is so much accurate then the Newton theory of gravity I also seeing the same thing inside me that's great there is absolute great and accurate for any INTP
Yep, I've had to walk away from events and groups that I like because I lost objectivity and humility, it soured, and thus couldn't see spending any more time or energy in a less that satisfying endeavor. If I suspend my ego and certainty, I can and do go on indefinitely even in less than ideal situations and still find ways to enjoy. It's a choice.
What if an INTP finds after several failed relationships and a few heart breaks he reflects and come to the conclusion that romantic love and attachment are biological mechanisms to ensure the organism pursue and sustain relationship which will increase the chances of having offspring and cooperating to rear said offsprings? Essentially, love is a trap.
Okay, I have a catch phrase I developed after becoming too attached to my assertions and being proved wrong. I either learn that I'm right, or I learn something new.
I married an ENFP who does “ take care of feeding me and getting things done “. Have never felt domesticated at all and things like picking furniture and paint colors give me a headache. Most women love that and I can’t bear it. We are a good team- we complement each other. Spot on about emotions- I don’t like having them and he is full of them. We have worked that out too 😂❤
Hi, I am in a relationship with an ENFP. He also happens to have ADHD, which makes him even harder to understand sometimes. Do you have any tips on working out the Ti/Fe and Te/Fi conflict? We both love eachother and want to put in the effort to make it work.
@@HAL.9000 I am the last one to give relationship advice. For my husband and me- we are older and have both been married before. We are committed to each other as well. He is not adhd, but-/ has to have a laser focus to finish things so I have learned not to talk to him at all when he works on something. I love his passion and enthusiasm for life and change. He has to compromise on too much change though, for me. He promised me I would never be bored and I haven’t been. Sometimes I get a little nervous about his ideas. Don’t know if I helped at all. Good luck to you.
Stop learning is definitely something that I don’t want to do. After graduating college, there was a half year period where I just went between my two part time jobs and played games. It had never been more frustrating. I signed up for online courses covered by my country’s government at the soonest time possible.
My problem with #2 is that I wouldn't want to leave college, IF it wasn't too rigid with its ways, and I can't fault it for it. I really don't because I truly do love learning, but the problem is that the majority of college isn't about learning anymore. Bits and pieces aren't enough for me to stick to it. Maybe it's just me wanting to see scholarship at its purest light, back when there are still things that needs uncovering but, you know... that's just the issue with the world nowadays. University is simply just about the schedule, the status quo, and the requirements. There's a lot of things to be done, yet way too little room for freedom of action and thinking. Inb4 "just do what you're asked to do", hahah NO.
The "stop learning" risk is to me as an infp with an intp partner very interesting. I am cusious and still learn a lot because I feel restless at some point if I don't. I feel like as if my brain cells die. My intp kinda stopped learning because he hated school so much but he enjoys that I am cusious and make him watch stuff and talk about things with me. I feel he is enjoying that I pull him out of his boredom. I can talk about everything that any other person would be bored of and he just listens and is enjoying the fact of learning. My intp is definetly addressing a problem he has with me only if it's bugging him a lot. Even if I say "tell me" he just says "no it will offend u and make u sad" and thats frustrating to me because I want to be a good and supportive partner to him. Eventually he gets out with what is wrong, so I wait. But yeah, he is mostly not into addressing emotional topics (besides how much he loves me and how much he is happy he met me). But because he has that deep urge to make sure I am happy and well he gets out of his comfort zone and talks about it. I know he feels uncomfortable if I get very emotional (infp, I can't help being emotional on an emotional topic). Usually when I am really angry or hurt I write him WhatsApp messages and tell him there because it's easier for me to break down what is the issue without showing too much emotion. After I did we usually talk about it face to face. It's the best way because he gets extremely rude and hurting when he's angry and I explode and don't wanna talk to him anymore. So yeah, conflict management is still an issue but we work it out. At least I know that conflicts draw us closer instead of separating us because in the end of day we want to solve and fix it together.
If I’m ever in the position of proving myself right, I’ll completely go against myself afterwards if the result settles things too well for others in a way that they agree but not fully comprehend to the detail.
Yeah, im at that stage in life in which i find myself asking: why shouldnt i do everything, underlings only fuck it up anyways Delegating feels nice, until you need shit done.
I think no.1 is something that INTPs are very, very often perceived as doing by others, but that they seldom actually do. No.2 seems inconceivable (and yes, that word means what I think it means). No.3, yeah that was a YUUGE problem earlier on.
I tried to not be a keyboard warrior but I can't help myself. The thing is in like 98% of the cases I'm never wrong about something I start an argument about, so when I win that argument it definetely strokes my ego. Sometimes i feel like a total douche for my mentality. "Why can't everyone just stop being so dumb" I have been called out on being cocky so many times for correcting people. And obviously they're wrong, which makes it all worse. I'm aware the feelings I have are irrational cause how could I be always right? I always try to keep my feet on the ground, but it's like my brain just rejects the rational thinking and makes me forget about a big epiphany I have. It's like I know the words and what they mean but I can't fix them into my mind, much like when you're reading a book and read a sentence over and over, you know what everything in the sentence means but you can't register it for some reason. The only way i can get my brain to work is to manipulate myself.💀 Sounds dumb I know, I need to find alternatives because the truth is outright rejected. Alternatives to "I'm the most knowledgeable being in the world", I'm using the "I'm not the most smart person ever, everyone else is just dumber than most" approach. Which is still irrational and narcissistic but I have no the other way to attenuate these feelings. It could be I'm just a narcissist which I don't think is out of the picture, but I wanna hope that I'm just out of touch from reality,from not interacting with people for so long. I never feel lonely when I'm alone but at some point it definetely does things to my head that are way worse than loneliness.
You intellectuals need to realize that truth is something to be discovered, often imperfectly and over many iterations and on many levels, rather than something to be owned, walled off, or defended, as is often done in academia, business and other venues. Discovering the truth is like walking through nature. Stop and admire from a respectful distance. Don't pollute or destroy.
1. One of my biggest arguments with my ex wife was whether on hot days black clothes (me) or white clothes ( her) kept you cooler on hot days. Put the kids off doing physics. 2. Must remember the Simpsons isn’t real . Homer is not an aspirational hero. Homer is not an aspirational hero.Homer is not an aspirational hero. 3. But I’m desperate. Ok so 2 out of 3. ( Great work)
I think the secret for us is that that line you showed at the beginning is actually a circle. We start with a conclusion of some sort, then investigate the hell out of it, which results in a new conclusion that can be investigated, just like the previous one was. And on and on. As long as we're moving along that circle, we're okay.
Attaching my ego to being right is my only reason to live. Until I am completely proven wrong I will believe myself to be a god amongst men before diving into another deep depression for a few days.
Right? I had to drop my ego, as my small group of friends somewhat found it annoying. I would talk about IQ constantly and innovation. How could you blame me, though?
#1 is more easily adopted with a practical approach. Are people trying to avoid admitting they're wrong when they focus on your need to be right? Yes, but that doesn't imply the opposite. So, it's just practically a better experience for the INTP to avoid #1, despite seeming like it "shouldn't" matter.
Light years ahead.. no more feelers around me from now on. Social mask when business needs to be done. Mask even with family when needed.. INTPs make money and buy your happiness or waste time trying to understand these drones.
INTPs: Somehow having a superiority and inferiority complex at the same time
that's what a superiority complex is. Superiority complexes are just inferiority complexes with more steps, in a way.
@@enk335 nice insight 👍
Bro!! Touché
Yes, always questioning oneself, always searching for more info, often double guessing oneself and never believing that you know enough about the subject to satisfy oneself, but at he same time believing you know enough about the subject to challenge others.
😂
As an INTP, I constantly juggle between "I am a genius" and "I am such an idiot"
I've never considered myself a genius, wondering if I really am an (unhealthy) INFJ
Exactly, one minute I'm intellectually arrogant af, the next I'm wondering if I'm a fool. XD
my exams are always like this. make the dumbest mistakes but the hardest questions get clapped
me between "I am a genious" and "I am incompetent"
There’s moments where I love myself and I’m like “I’m awesome” then the next minute I do something stupid and I’m like “I hate myself I’m an idiot” I’m an intp btw.
I like how he knows we dont care for the nonsense intros and eloquences so he starts his videos saying "number 1" and gets right to the point
Yes!
Exactly
lolol, I didn't notice that. So true. I rarely start a video at the beginning because I'm looking for content. But I started Nathan's video at the beginning! Thanks!
True
I actually don't mind an intro as long as it's useful. But I agree with u above haha
*What INTPs must never do IMHO: nothing.*
Never do nothing; do something, do anything with your time, with your life, with all your ideas and feelings! Don't waste yourself. Don't waste your life or ruin your body by living some un-life in your own head.
OMGsh this comment is EVERYTHING. As a 45 yr INTP, this is exactly what I would tell my 20-something self.
Also…..”get therapy NOW!”
😂😂
@@scratchoriginalsdh ikr! haha
Yes, in other words get out of our heads
This is me right now and over the past years. Just lying there, depressed, alternately dreaming of all the things I could do and wanting to die cause of meaninglessness.
Im always doing nothing.
It's so hard to get out of the loop.
This comment is pure platinum!
It's remarkably easy for INTPs to attach ego to being correct. We just don't see that we are doing it. We become experts and, as such, we are too busy knowing everything to learn anything. We are so busy knowing the answer that we fail to listen to the question.
So true. If I had a dollar for every time I told my INTP husband to answer the question I asked or to let me finish before reacting, I’d be as wealthy as Elon Musk says he is.
@@Jennie8684 So he's not actually that wealthy?
If only valid logic was sufficient for correct conclusions... It's a necessary condition for sure, but not a sufficient one :'')
@@TaxingIsThieving I have some doubts as to the veracity of some of the things he says
i completely relate, detachment is sometimes
best
Any other INTPs struggle with the desire to learn too much, too often? Like an overwhelming feeling that you need to watch another video or read another article before you try something because you want to make sure you're prepared, but this feeling has started to get in the way of actually taking initiative, actually doing the thing, and learning via experience?
I become 90% of an expert on a topic in 2 weeks, get bored because there isn’t much else to learn, and I move on to the next obsession.
It's called procrastination.
Yes. To the point that I get choice paralysis about all the things I want to learn, actually.
YES
All. The. Time.
Middle aged INTP here.
1) Attaching your ego to being right.
Rarely been an issue. As I've told many people on many occasions, I question just about EVERYTHING, and nothing more so than my own reasoning. I know very few things to be true, but you'll have a very hard time convincing me I'm wrong on those few things. Everything else is up for grabs.
2) Stop learning.
My learning has slowed considerably over the decades, but it hasn't stopped. My passion for learning has cooled, but it still flares up often enough.
3) Rushing into (or being rushed into) relationships.
Ouch. Gut punch there. I got married once to an ENFP I'd been friends with for several years. It was my first marriage and her fourth marriage. I don't know that I "rushed" as such, but it was definitely a poorly conceived plan on my part and I glossed over all sorts of issues and baggage we both brought to the relationship, imagining all those pesky details would just work themselves out organically. Yeah. It didn't turn out that way and she eventually divorced me. Wasn't a good time. Emotional scarring ensued. Won't be doing that again.
Fourth marriage does kind of seem like a red flag.... Do you think in hindsight, you could have found a better way to deal with the baggage before you made the commitment?
@@anival9576 To be fair, she was divorced twice and widowed once, so that last one wasn't really her fault.
As for the baggage issue... My baggage was minimal, with the bigger problem on my side being my relative lack of relationship experience. Her baggage was understandably more considerable.
One of the bigger MBTI-centric things I learned was that Fi is VERY different from Fe. Being a relatively ignorant-at-the-time Ti-dom, I thought feeling was feeling. I can work with Fe, but Fi-based reasoning was something I didn't even realize was a thing.
So "... could [you] have found a better way to deal with the baggage...?" If I could've, I would've. I was out of my depth. Under different circumstances, I might've stumbled upon the "right" answer and turned things around, but that's not how it worked out. Lesson learned, at least. I'm far better off alone by myself instead of alone in a marriage.
@@jimclayson yeah, I notice that Intps often have relationship issues with enfps. Not sure why they often end up together.
@@jimclayson Thanks for the explanation! I agree that Fi and Fe are very different. As an INFJ, I sometimes struggle to relate to Fi dom people--their way of developing a value system is just so different. I guess I'm enough of an idealist that I don't think I'd be happy with the "it was too hard, so I've given up trying" conclusion. I'd be analyzing the crap out of it to see if I could do better the next time. To each his (or her) own, I guess (and I recognize that sometimes the trauma of an experience just drains all the energy for trying out of a person, so there is that...). Anyway, thanks for sharing.
@@anival9576 "I'd be analyzing the crap out of it to see if I could do better the next time."
Oh, I analyzed the crap out of it for years. I have a very good idea where things went wrong on both sides. I understand her justifications, but I don't agree with them. She wanted a divorce and there was nothing I could do about it but accept that the decision was hers to make.
I'm through torturing myself over her actions and her decisions. I have plenty of regrets, but I'm not the one who gave up.
I'm content living single and alone these days.
The times where I stop learning I am the most depressed and stressed....
Couldn't agree more.
I am right now
The relationship thingy hit me hard tbh. Someone tried to rush me to get into a relationship with him, but he is just a friend to me, I don't like changes and being rushed into anything is like suicide for me. After his confession, I rejected him right away and told him that I am not and never ever gonna settle with anyone, but I will continue on being his friend. He couldn't accept it, so he stalked me the whole fucking semester! I'm so scared and fed up, I asked my parents to transfer me to a nearby college, they agreed but only if I get the highest GWA for second semester, which is good because I love challenges and studying took my mind and time from worrying about that psycho guy. Thus, I transferred and became fucking smart.
Lesson: I knew why I did that now and I am not an asshole for not letting people rush me into getting in a relationship.
Glad you made it through, I personally struggle with motivation so the fact that you powered through that challenge gives me hope.
- an intp
@@jrb4484 I hope you can also get through any problems, thank you for the comment! 🥰
@@lazyliz830 thank you
1) You're right. I am in my zone when I deal with uncertainty and paradox ideas than most of my peers.
2) It's hard to do when you're stuck in a routine or mental rut. The best way to stop learning is to be physical shut-ins. I lost five years of my life (plus two years due to pandemic) because I stayed in my house far too long.
3) My problem is being cynical about being in love than rushing into it due to list number 1 and 2.
Great vid!
Grammatical correction for No.3. "Than" should be "then."
Examples: Rather "than" | "Then" doing.
My mother often chided me for being a know-it-all after I corrected her hearsay. I don’t know all but I dislike her tendency to believe any tv presentation on fitness, health, and politics without analyzing. I always say to her “if the guy on tv told you to eat shit to live forever, would you do it?”. I don’t do things without investigation, research, and incubation. It is hard for me to see people just buy into what they hear.
That’s how my family is as they are ESFJ mostly
Lol sounds like me and my isfj mum 😅
1. Question everything. Don't assert anything. Maintain that intellectual humility and be open
2. NEVER stop learning (personally, learning about something gives me a lot of happiness)
3. Do NOT rush into relationships
Learning is kind of like testing for GladOs. Kinda gives you that happy feeling when you do it and a bad feeling if you don't do it enough.
I love the fact that the video starts right away. No useless intro.
Yep... 40 and still going back to college this fall... partly because I'm bored 😂😂😂
Help me 😰
That sounds fun and scary.
26 years old, and I'm not even sure if I took my SATs to go to college. Then again, I achieved high scores on my final exams, and I think going to college won't be an issue.
@@jankyyard5610 ikr.. kinda excited
Set up a challenge in your favourite video game as a way of mindless escapism. That helps one forget the occasional existential crisis settling in.
What major ?
When arguing, the greatest weapon isn't certainty, it's uncertainty. You don't use answers to win, to find the truth, you use questions. Constantly question the assertions of your opponent. What would it look like, if your opponent was correct? Is that reflected in reality? You don't say "I am right," you say, "If your assertion is correct, then when we test it in such a way, why do your predictions not align with reality? Wouldn't the tendency for certain outcomes to come from specific circumstances be better explained by this model that accurately predicts them?" Detaching the ego from fact and argument isn't an end per se, it's a side effect gained alongside the ability to argue correctly. If you're arguing correctly, detachment is an inevitability.
"So I've heard" *nudged eye brow. That was super epic! :D
Timestamp? ;)
Oh okay it's 0:03 , yes it's hilarious 🙈
@@andrejszasz2816 Thanks!
i felt so attacked when you started talking about the relationships
i say that i'm right until you prove me wrong, i keep my mind open to other possibilities or informations that i don't know about and keep my ego aside because i value truth over anything
There is not a single thing I can think of that I am 100% sure about. Even something like is my mom my mom, we have had DNA tests that shows she is, but what if reality isn’t real? As for learning, I can’t imagine losing interest in it.
Relationships… I will think about it. Maybe. Probably not.
You can be sure that you can't be sure about everything, which necessarily requires you to be exist, hence you can only be sure that you exist. Descartes sends his regards
Very insightful I must say, especially the relationship aspect of the video. Rushing in a relationship will almost always breed feelings of loathing for the other person.
Detachment is a tricky issue and probably not possible to attain completely. Current Dalai Lama is a good case study. With life long training in meditation, self-sacrifice and transcendental.contemplation, the Dalai Lama has lost his cool in.recent years. One can come up with very valid and long list of reasons for letting your ego to come forth to express your convictions but point remains that self-detachment is selective and mostly a delusion.
I think the best a thinking person can do is to know their biases very clearly and validate or invalidate those skews with knowledge and experience.
Number 2: uh, if I ever stop learning, it will be because there's nothing left to learn. I'm genuinely terrified that that day _might_ exist, to the point that I'd rather destroy the universe and make a new one just to learn more than just bask in my knowledge. Not learning sounds like not breathing to me.
Very true
Really great concept Nathan, can't wait for the other types! :)
It feels like the more you learn and explore, the more you realize how much you don’t know. Other people don’t even know how much they don’t know.
I don't know about INTPs specifically, but perhaps for Ti users in general, the main trap that concerns me is the reliance upon one's internal logic without some kind of external verification.
I see this most in the ghastly arena of identity politics and all the arguments surrounding it. People seem to think that just because they have a line of reasoning for something that they are therefore right and must be correct. Ti is only as strong as the data being fed into it. When Ti is mixed with confirmation bias and attribution error, it can be a very dangerous combination that can lead to catastrophic mistakes in the outside world.
Thinking is always objective, i.e. it is always based on a verifiable(falsifiable) framework. What set Ti(logic) apart is that it verifies the internal consistency of an external framework. I.e it analysis a given framework for consistency but it doesn't necessarily offer a new framework. So basically, Te comes with the facts, Ti tries to falsify it.
@@oluchukwuokafor7729 Ideally, yes, but Ti is always referred to as subjective (as are all introverted functions) as it is only as objective as whatever information the Ti user is allowing to be fed into it. Especially when the user allows cognitive biases to filter the information then faulty frameworks or belief systems are created.
@@johnknight9150 cognitive biases typically come from feeling functions, because a bias by definition deals with the way values are assigned to conclusions. Cognitive biases occur when an assigned value isn't justified, so it basically caused by lack of thinking not thinking.
@@oluchukwuokafor7729 But you're just demonstrating the problem. Ti doesn't exist in a vacuum, it sits in a jumble of other cognitive functions which are all influencing each other. No matter how pure you may want to keep Ti, it *is* being influenced by feelings, sensations, and intuition. You are not a computer, you're a squishy organism, which unfortunately for INTPs is ultimately more irrational than rational. Even the purest of minds can't get away from flesh, blood, and hormones.
@@johnknight9150 it depends on how you define rational, if rationality is absence of bias, I would argue that intps are the least biased type on average. The problem with intps is that it is difficult to convince them of their biases when they have one.
I agree with most of what you said, my main point is that biases come from the feeling functions not the thinking ones, and since everyone has feeling functions, everyone has biases.
As an INTP I've noticed I watch football and when a goal go's in a momentarily loose interest. Sometimes I cant even describe or remember the goal to a friend. But I can tell you intricate things tactically that were going on.
Soccer or American football?
I realised that "the way is the goal" for us INTPs. We don't need a goal if we just enjoy the learning process. Maybe it is tied to this. Which sport you watch is not important with it 😂
But the goal thing is where we get stuck and feel lost a lot, i'm afraid. Especially if it opens room up for changed that we don't like 😅😅
@@jameswilkerson4412 the one that uses a ball and consistently relies on players feet. Ha!
As an INTP, it's sooo refreshing to read these comments. Unlike commenters on most other channels, you're all articulate, introspective, and concise.
This is really rewarding to hear. I'm not sure how many INTP videos of mine you've watched but there are many of them on the LoveWho channel. Feel free to check them out! ~ Nathan
@@lovewho i've been watching them daily, thanks!
As an INTP I never find myself to having any conclusion to a topic, I just find that I've been updated on the topic and collect that information to reflect on what has already been studied and analyzed. I don't attach my ego to information that I tell others rather I get frustrated with the lack of knowledge out of my counterparts that when they disbelieve the information to be true I just know that they didn't put in the effort to go look for themselves. I guess you can say there maybe some ego there but if my counterparts put in there effort to find truth as well we can have a dialogue, but it ends at the surface level of knowledge, I'm deep in the rabbit hole and I'm inviting others to dive in yet they find the dive to be too deep.
I disagree about certainty but agree about arrogance. If you arrive at truth and know it then it's okay to help teach people and be confident in it but yes stay open minded to new possibilities
Good advice. My first thought was, don't do number 3 if you haven't accomplished number 1! Righteousness can make us dogmatic about a position when hurt or tired, allowing us to rationalize the use of cognitive bias and other missteps in defense of our ego. Then again, a relationship might cause you to do number 1! But at least you will be working against number 2 when that happens!
Happy intj overhere but recognize similarities..😁😂🤣🤩😚🙄
Certainty is safe in regards to the point that rushing into a relationship is something no one should do - and those who rush others know little of appropriacy and likely don't care a hoot for one's happiness ... it's insane how entitled people are with their ignorance
I realise I'm often capable of avoiding trap 1. But when I fall, I fall hard. If that happens on top of a Ti-Si loop, usually there are only 2 ways left to convince me:
1- Show how your framework is also internally consistent: It takes a lot of preperation to withstand my ruthless probing into that "alternative" approach. If and only if the person suggesting that alternative answer is able to withstand and show that their system is doesn't have major inconsistencies, only then I begin considering that approach. Even then, I may not fully embrace it, although I tolerate it.
2- Show me how my premises are incorrect: Usually, people attempt to argue the logic, or dismiss the hypotheticals, and both are big mistakes because if you attempt to argue the logic of an INTP in a Ti-Si loop, you're going to lose. If you dismiss the hypotheticals, (that's often what Te-Si or even Ti-Se users do while arguing with the INTPs) then your framework might be "partially correct, but inconclusive, so I'm gonna stick to my more comprehensive framework" kind of a system. They may see its merit, but likely will not adopt it, sticking to their original ideas because it's more comprehensive and likely closer to the truth, and you haven't shown why they're wrong, you've just told them theirs is irrelevant (well, not to the INTPs). In these cases, I've observed that what Te-Si or Ti-Se users mean with "that's irrelevant" about some hypothetical falls into the category in which INTPs premises are incorrect. This is a difficult approach, however, because it's often the unvoiced premises or hidden assumptions that exist within the framework that cause the problem, so be vigilant and dig deep. Feel free to ask whys to the INTP.
An example for hidden assumptions ruining a conclusion: Pascal's wager. Briefly, it is an attempt at showing why one logically must believe in the God (if you're wrong, you have finite losses, but if you're right, infinite gains; also if you don't believe and if you're right, you only have finite gains but if you're wrong then you have a ticket to Hell, an infinite loss). He assumes there's only one possible God to choose from, but considering how thousands of different gods from different religions there are (and some with crueler Hells, hence technically more logical to believe in them than the Christian God or idk any Abrahamic God), this reasoning alone is not a sufficient reason to claim that "logically, you ought to believe in 'the' God."
I have always attached my ego to the belief that I am right. If I am not, come and prove it, I'll listen. But to disregard my views, overrule them etc. without an explanation is the most humiliating thing that can happen to me, and it often does.
😭
So would this be the same an point #1? Or is it different? If I stop this practice I fear I lose my identity/self/however you want to call it! Dreadful idea.
I've often had this thought as well: "If I didn't think my opinion was the best, I'd change it." I think what he's saying in the video is that you need to be open to the possibility that you might be wrong... and you need to allow new information into your framework. That's not the same thing as letting people overrule you without explanation. Some people (who are not even really that invested in their own ideas) will suggest you scrap yours to salve their ego. Ignore those people.
I used to think this way. Then I studied philosophy in order to rid myself of this thinking because, as it seemed to me, having a thing that my identity rested on like that could give someone ultimate control over me and _that_ idea was simply unacceptable. Personally, I like the philosophical systems of karma and stoicism, although the latter is a bit rooted in the idea that a god exists.
He exactly knows what intp look after
Directly starting with number 1
The first one 💀 I've had this obsession of getting perfect scores and recitations but failing to keep up the other aspects of my grades. I later realized that it was due to my obsession of being "correct". I've kinda let that part go a bit but I suppose it still lives within me but I don't feel so disappointed when I get stuff wrong anymore.
I agree with you as well. Frustrating as it is, we are hardwired to doubt. Things aren't set in stone and being quick to understand that helps a lot in maturing. Of course, it's hard at times because we INTPs often never find a conclusion. But at least we don't easily make mistakes we can regret.
You gain assurance in accuracy when deeply held beliefs and thoughts begin to be felled trees to your studies and pursuit of Truth. At some point in such a process, you know that it's not about ego, goals, self esteem or reputation. At this point you realize your own love for truth when it becomes the altar where some aspect of self dies or is denied. This is where an unshakeable confidence enters your soul. Lies and half-truths can only survive in areas of compromise or political gains. There is a Truth, and I will find it. And then I will make it known.
(INFJ here) Thanks for the insightful video. I was in a long-term relationship with an INTP. Things were not going well, and we were both being held back by the relationship. Not to mention both miserable. He lived with me, and it took me two years to get him to move out. I had to make him despise me in order to get him to leave. It broke my heart as I genuinely love him. A year later, he wrote me a letter thanking me for having the foresight and strength to do what needed to be done. I hate that it ended so badly that we cannot speak again. I had to door slam him. Sometimes an INFJ door slams one of the people they love the most for their own good.
As an INFJ, I can relate to justifying a door slam for "his own good" but I would also forever question myself about such a justification. I'd like to understand the motivation behind it more. Why was the relationship not going well? (That is, can you analyze, in a generic way, the insurmountable obstacles that forced you to take action?) Just wondering.
I’m an INTP who keeps getting “found” by INFJ men. I really struggle with why, because there are soooo many differences, yet in some ways we work so well together.
I also would love some of your insights into the pairing (outside of TH-cam stereotypical assessments). I find the REAL INFJ folk to be not much like what is presented as stock.
In our case, our problems had nothing to do with our cognitive preferences. We understand each other on a deep level. Our problems came from personal circumstances that could not be resolved while we were together. I don’t question the decision. In this case, sadly, there really was no other choice.
I think Nathan does a very good job explaining the INFJ personality. It is really an odd way of seeing the world. He does emphasize the strengths and positives of the type, as he does for all types. I love that about him. Maybe joining his discord would help learn more about INFJs beyond TH-cam videos? I’ve never met another one. Not necessarily because we are so rare, the true rare part is that we rarely open up to people. Therefore, it’s hard to identify us.
@@blacalmontie Ok, yeah. I can see what you're saying.
@@blacalmontie Nathan IS one of my favourites. I did try to get into Discord, but it was seriously so overwhelming, I had to leave. Since the INFJ (and ENFJ) are drawn to INTP, I have been able to peg them pretty quick when they come into my life.
With a few pointed questions of course.
Thanks for your input, I really appreciate it.
A common human failing is falling victim to the 'Sunk Cost Fallacy', especially when it comes to investing in ideas. Sometimes it's best to remove ego from a position and make sure you really are evaluating things rationally and not just defending a position because you are invested.
#1 is super important! There's always another data point. Ideas, not beliefs.
Please add: "talk to your partner" (instead of breaking up with them suddenly after 9 years)
As an INTP, the first point is 100% accurate. Unless you're a nuclear technician at Cherenobyl trying to avert an imminent meltdown, one of two things is probably true: 1) You're more-or-less right, but approaching conversations from this perspective is suboptimal... your first instinct should be to ask, "Since this person is wrong, what is going on? why do they think this way? Maybe I'm not quite as right or they are not quite as wrong as I think. Or maybe they are. Either way, I need more data..."
OR
2) You don't understand as much as you think you do. Since we understand so much, this is hard. But as I grow older, I learn more and more the truth of Socrates, the ultimate INTP: "I am wise because I know nothing."
I love how you got right into it
Having raised an INTP this video may have been useful. 😂
I can't thank you enough for starting the video right away. Seriously.
Another thing for INTPs to watch out for: Never take personal advice from an extrovert, especially someone who strongly expresses this personality trait. It will not work out for us, because they are completely unable to intuitively understand us. Just use what they say as data, carefully considering where it comes from. This also applies to other introverted types to some extent.
Man you're awesome. Really valuable videos, helps a lot.
😂. I loved this. Laughed all through.
Great, great video, thank you VERY much!
Thank you for the reminders :)
Yeah, even if I am fully aware that something is basically definitively correct, I still typically add in the clause along the lines of ‘most likely’, ‘probably’, ‘I think’, etc.
I am really bad at asking questions :( but i should try it, i guess it would make conversations more interesting then just them nodding and saying your right and the conversation ends.
Excellent advice. Thank you.
Sure I like being right. That's why I am always open to finding out I was wrong. When I find out I was wrong, I become more right than I was before.
And yes, rushing into a relationship can lead to disaster.
Thank you!
I have never known INTP's to be the sought to rush into relationships
If you stop at that point you don’t ever get to debate your conclusions!
As an INTP: I have accepted that I am an idiot who seems smart but to really smart I am dumb
On the 1st reason, I always stop myself on being certain... because people are very complicated. The problem would be that I always doubt myself and are never certain.
It is not even slightly hard to fall into a relationship. It can take decades to make it go away.
Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle : dx dp > h/2
Which suggests that the closer an INTP approaches the correct answer, the greater Heisenberg's skepticism.
The Socratic approach is the best method regarding questioning and reasoning. In my humble opinion as an ISTP. 👍🏻
Never stopping learning is 100% true. The internet can be filled with vapid nonsense, but can also be an amazing learning tool when you find qualified and knowledgeable content creators. I love Sci Show and John and Hank Green. Find great experts in their field and let it open the door for exploration.
Actually, this makes sense. My father had me hired at his job so I could make great money and buy a car. I was never focused on getting a vehicle in my teens but only on accomplishing my personal goals. It didn't help that I would spend most of my money on video games, anime, and computer stuff, so instead, he would look after my money, and at work, he would have me work hard every day.
This job was landscaping, so you can imagine how much I hated it. Regardless, it got the bills paid, and with the money, I bought an Infiniti G37. Over 200 HP, and it drives smooth!
I need to learn to be more social, which would help me make new friends. Also, are INTPs afraid of being social with Women? I feel a particular fear towards them, not sure why.....
Maybe I dislike social convention, or Is it that Women can have this explosive personality while I'm over here cool as a cucumber and just thinking?
Maybe I just overthink things and need to invest in my feelings... This is difficult indeed.
I think same, while talking to same gender (males), I feel like I am very smooth at conversation but when it comes to females either I tend to dodge the conversation or I just ignore. I feel like they have such a personality that I find kinda fear.
INTP women here, I feel the exact same thing but towards men. Most of them are cool and approachable, but my lack of words and ways to communicate with opposite gender might be the main reason why I'm afraid of them? Also while you're saying that most women have explosive personality, I feel the same about men too, but in a way of being very bold and extroverted?
Existing in my comfort zone of being in a girl school doesn't help at all. Similar to the day to day basis everything gets done by the others, in this case, the environment.
@@anameig9332 That would make sense, as we are both INTP. And to get things done is necessary, as I am running two start-up companies, and with this workload, I must stay diligent and focused.
One company is the same as rooster teeth, as we focus on Anime reviews, Gameplays, and many other things.
The other company is a tech company, atm I am building a Phone and an Art tablet. Once I've mastered Coding/Programming, I will create an OS, aka Operating System with Bootstrap, and make sure these products are marketable so that the world will have top-tier technology without the high cost of corporate greed.
Motorola will be a thing of the past, as my company Tech X will dominate the phone scene, just like Samsung and Apple.
Afterward, I will focus on my other company, Otaku Talk, and we will thrive upon the many anime fans. We shall create content that isn't based on garbage clickbait but with factual evidence and customer satisfaction.
Excellent content as always
5:20 Bruh. This is me when looking for people around me. My ISFJ sister is my caretaker so I don't think I'd have a problem on number 3.
Oh, the irony of being emotionally invested and attached to facts and reason! We logic-driven types are human after all.
He is so much accurate then the Newton theory of gravity I also seeing the same thing inside me that's great there is absolute great and accurate for any INTP
It is so funny and accurate that as an INTP I just really want someone to feed me so I can keep focused and go about my work/research 😂
Yep, I've had to walk away from events and groups that I like because I lost objectivity and humility, it soured, and thus couldn't see spending any more time or energy in a less that satisfying endeavor. If I suspend my ego and certainty, I can and do go on indefinitely even in less than ideal situations and still find ways to enjoy. It's a choice.
What if an INTP finds after several failed relationships and a few heart breaks he reflects and come to the conclusion that romantic love and attachment are biological mechanisms to ensure the organism pursue and sustain relationship which will increase the chances of having offspring and cooperating to rear said offsprings? Essentially, love is a trap.
I'd rather be wrong in the beginning and right in the end than right in the beginning and wrong in the end.
You are so funny in an underhanded way😜
Okay, I have a catch phrase I developed after becoming too attached to my assertions and being proved wrong. I either learn that I'm right, or I learn something new.
I pick a number two I do keep a date with you, I'm taking advantage why you keep me at the time but
Thank you, I needed to hear the number one
And for the number three 😅
I married an ENFP who does “ take care of feeding me and getting things done “. Have never felt domesticated at all and things like picking furniture and paint colors give me a headache. Most women love that and I can’t bear it.
We are a good team- we complement each other. Spot on about emotions- I don’t like having them and he is full of them. We have worked that out too 😂❤
Hi, I am in a relationship with an ENFP. He also happens to have ADHD, which makes him even harder to understand sometimes. Do you have any tips on working out the Ti/Fe and Te/Fi conflict? We both love eachother and want to put in the effort to make it work.
@@HAL.9000 I am the last one to give relationship advice. For my husband and me- we are older and have both been married before. We are committed to each other as well. He is not adhd, but-/ has to have a laser focus to finish things so I have learned not to talk to him at all when he works on something. I love his passion and enthusiasm for life and change. He has to compromise on too much change though, for me.
He promised me I would never be bored and I haven’t been. Sometimes I get a little nervous about his ideas. Don’t know if I helped at all. Good luck to you.
I am right though
Stop learning is definitely something that I don’t want to do. After graduating college, there was a half year period where I just went between my two part time jobs and played games. It had never been more frustrating. I signed up for online courses covered by my country’s government at the soonest time possible.
My problem with #2 is that I wouldn't want to leave college, IF it wasn't too rigid with its ways, and I can't fault it for it. I really don't because I truly do love learning, but the problem is that the majority of college isn't about learning anymore. Bits and pieces aren't enough for me to stick to it. Maybe it's just me wanting to see scholarship at its purest light, back when there are still things that needs uncovering but, you know... that's just the issue with the world nowadays. University is simply just about the schedule, the status quo, and the requirements. There's a lot of things to be done, yet way too little room for freedom of action and thinking.
Inb4 "just do what you're asked to do", hahah NO.
The "stop learning" risk is to me as an infp with an intp partner very interesting. I am cusious and still learn a lot because I feel restless at some point if I don't. I feel like as if my brain cells die. My intp kinda stopped learning because he hated school so much but he enjoys that I am cusious and make him watch stuff and talk about things with me. I feel he is enjoying that I pull him out of his boredom. I can talk about everything that any other person would be bored of and he just listens and is enjoying the fact of learning.
My intp is definetly addressing a problem he has with me only if it's bugging him a lot. Even if I say "tell me" he just says "no it will offend u and make u sad" and thats frustrating to me because I want to be a good and supportive partner to him. Eventually he gets out with what is wrong, so I wait. But yeah, he is mostly not into addressing emotional topics (besides how much he loves me and how much he is happy he met me). But because he has that deep urge to make sure I am happy and well he gets out of his comfort zone and talks about it. I know he feels uncomfortable if I get very emotional (infp, I can't help being emotional on an emotional topic). Usually when I am really angry or hurt I write him WhatsApp messages and tell him there because it's easier for me to break down what is the issue without showing too much emotion. After I did we usually talk about it face to face. It's the best way because he gets extremely rude and hurting when he's angry and I explode and don't wanna talk to him anymore. So yeah, conflict management is still an issue but we work it out. At least I know that conflicts draw us closer instead of separating us because in the end of day we want to solve and fix it together.
If I’m ever in the position of proving myself right, I’ll completely go against myself afterwards if the result settles things too well for others in a way that they agree but not fully comprehend to the detail.
I actually found out how much I love science because how much I love art
Fun
Yeah, im at that stage in life in which i find myself asking: why shouldnt i do everything, underlings only fuck it up anyways
Delegating feels nice, until you need shit done.
"Stop learning"
Me:"what do you mean?😑😐💀"
You are awesome 🤩
I feel attacked.
"Rushing in to relationships " not good for infj,infp too .
#2 literally gave me anxiety
I think no.1 is something that INTPs are very, very often perceived as doing by others, but that they seldom actually do. No.2 seems inconceivable (and yes, that word means what I think it means). No.3, yeah that was a YUUGE problem earlier on.
I tried to not be a keyboard warrior but I can't help myself. The thing is in like 98% of the cases I'm never wrong about something I start an argument about, so when I win that argument it definetely strokes my ego. Sometimes i feel like a total douche for my mentality. "Why can't everyone just stop being so dumb" I have been called out on being cocky so many times for correcting people. And obviously they're wrong, which makes it all worse. I'm aware the feelings I have are irrational cause how could I be always right? I always try to keep my feet on the ground, but it's like my brain just rejects the rational thinking and makes me forget about a big epiphany I have. It's like I know the words and what they mean but I can't fix them into my mind, much like when you're reading a book and read a sentence over and over, you know what everything in the sentence means but you can't register it for some reason. The only way i can get my brain to work is to manipulate myself.💀 Sounds dumb I know, I need to find alternatives because the truth is outright rejected. Alternatives to "I'm the most knowledgeable being in the world", I'm using the "I'm not the most smart person ever, everyone else is just dumber than most" approach. Which is still irrational and narcissistic but I have no the other way to attenuate these feelings. It could be I'm just a narcissist which I don't think is out of the picture, but I wanna hope that I'm just out of touch from reality,from not interacting with people for so long. I never feel lonely when I'm alone but at some point it definetely does things to my head that are way worse than loneliness.
You intellectuals need to realize that truth is something to be discovered, often imperfectly and over many iterations and on many levels, rather than something to be owned, walled off, or defended, as is often done in academia, business and other venues. Discovering the truth is like walking through nature. Stop and admire from a respectful distance. Don't pollute or destroy.
1. One of my biggest arguments with my ex wife was whether on hot days black clothes (me) or white clothes ( her) kept you cooler on hot days. Put the kids off doing physics.
2. Must remember the Simpsons isn’t real . Homer is not an aspirational hero. Homer is not an aspirational hero.Homer is not an aspirational hero.
3. But I’m desperate.
Ok so 2 out of 3.
( Great work)
This was helpful to me, what would be the three things an istp should never do?
I think the secret for us is that that line you showed at the beginning is actually a circle. We start with a conclusion of some sort, then investigate the hell out of it, which results in a new conclusion that can be investigated, just like the previous one was. And on and on. As long as we're moving along that circle, we're okay.
Attaching my ego to being right is my only reason to live. Until I am completely proven wrong I will believe myself to be a god amongst men before diving into another deep depression for a few days.
Right? I had to drop my ego, as my small group of friends somewhat found it annoying. I would talk about IQ constantly and innovation. How could you blame me, though?
The one I love is just like you, very much fun to debate.
so, an intp would be like having a pet: caring and feeding them?
it's more or less like being owned by a cat...
helps to be cute and furry but I've never liked the concept of being owned by anyone
#1 is more easily adopted with a practical approach. Are people trying to avoid admitting they're wrong when they focus on your need to be right? Yes, but that doesn't imply the opposite. So, it's just practically a better experience for the INTP to avoid #1, despite seeming like it "shouldn't" matter.
Light years ahead.. no more feelers around me from now on. Social mask when business needs to be done. Mask even with family when needed.. INTPs make money and buy your happiness or waste time trying to understand these drones.
but keep in mind... some things have so little credibility, it makes you second guess basic reality when those things speak up on basic truths.