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Welp, I Went Manic
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It's hard because; you feel sooooo productive. And, you often "look" like you are getting so much done to others. As a mother, I feel this deeply. Having a child that deals with bi-polar and severe mood and suicidal ideations, I say don't wait. There is not enough care in our distressed state that lost 40% of its workforce during the pandemic. There are triage clinics that may be able to move your appointment up, but my biggest suggestion for you is to call your insurance and to ask for a Care Coordinator. I would explain everything going on to them and have them advocate for you. If you would like help in doing this, I would be glad to help you. The first thing I ask families when they reach out to me is; Who is your Care Coordinator? You are making wonderful steps to help your own mental health. You continue to amaze me. Allow yourself to have that extra advocate on your side with a Care Coordinator. You deserve everyone on your team that is available to you. I am rooting for you and always here to help in any way I can with any of the resources I have. We are here for you. I am here for you
You may also have some underlying triggers. You have been planning a wedding. Although this is a new beginning and joyful event, you still have a second traumatic piece to your story around a marriage that was not. You have taken on a lot lately with your channels and others understanding of mental illness while those in social circles have not always been kind right in your immediate life. That has to be immensely difficult. You have so much compassion for others understanding while amidst misunderstanding yourself. It's a lot my friend. You are allowed a break without a "break". I stand by you through this. You are so worthy. You are enough. You are loved.
Thank you, I always appreciate your advice. I’m willing to down whatever it takes to come down from this.