What is Your Therapist Really Thinking?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 28 มิ.ย. 2024
- I'm Kati Morton, a licensed therapist making Mental Health videos!
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sometimes i look at my therapist and i think “this person thinks i’m crazy.”
Same 😂😂
same
cma sometimes I look at them and think the same thing
Everytime
Beyond crazy, do you ever think, "my therapist must be thinking, this is the most whacked out person I've ever dealt with."
Pretty sure my therapist probably calls her therapist once she’s done with me 😳
same
😂😂😂 omg most relatable TH-cam comment ever
Mine cried. I felt bad for her and do hope her therapist was able to help.
HAHAHAHA SAMEEE 😂😂😂😂😂 (u re so funny)
Same lmao!
5:11 "Your therapist is noticing everything"
Me: *shivers*
I know, right? Geez...
I guess it scares all of us... meep...😖
I thought ... " oh crap..."
@Sam Burke Same. Even though I know that my therapist is doing it I'm still scared and it makes me nervous...😅
I think knowing it is even worse..😂🙄
I wanna see someone go into her session like Heath ledger joker. Lmao
My therapist knows my body language and hands me tissues before I start crying. She knows I'm gonna cry before I know I'm gonna cry.
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@Pipecat3 A NICE one!? I would be afraid in Makenna's shoes. The enemy knows her better than she knows herself. I would start making up a bunch of shit to throw the bitch off, and then say I'm so busy I'd have to call back to make the next appointment. It might be too late for that, tho. She might follow her home. Bet you won't think she's so nice then.
Wish my therapist was like that
I wish to be able to cry, I think it would be beneficial for me.
@@Pipecat3 best. Therapist. Ever.
My therapist was an empathetic sweetheart. Very soft spoken, always professional and invested in helping you with your troubles...despite having a lot of her own.
I remember telling her about my father in great detail, how controlling and potentially dangerous he was to live with. The real fear that he would murder us in the middle of the night. I had told people about him before, and the reaction I would get usually ranged from shock horror to vile disgust, or somewhere in between. Her reaction though? She was almost crying. At the time, I thought it was just sympathy, it wasn't - it was empathy. I just wish she told me.
Two months ago, I walked by a newspaper and discovered that she had died. Her ex-husband murdered her in her own home, after stalking and threatening her for the last four years. Leaving behind: her family, three young children, countless friends and a devastated town.
It's quite common that helpful people seek to help others, because they know what it's like to feel helpless. I really respect people who can put aside their own dramas to give others a hand with theirs.
I miss her. I hope she's at peace wherever she is. And I wish I could have thanked her for the help when it truly mattered. The picture in my icon was an actual painting I did for her, it was intended as a gift for her family, but it got lost in transition. I'm currently working on a replacement painting, even after a year on - it still hurts sometimes. .
R.I.P Samantha.
Awe rip Samantha... also it's kind of weird that just when I was thinking that even though I'd like to be a therapist I think I'd be a bad one because I make other people's pains my own easily .. I stumble across this comment.
@Once upon a Dango Speaking from experience, I believe the best therapists are the empathetic ones. FAR better than the jaded and disconnected therapists who treat you as just a case rather than a person. If you are one of these people, you'd make a great therapist, but just watch you don't burn yourself out with emotional stress.
I was really touched by Samantha's reaction to my plight at the time (not knowing the underlying cause), it showed she truly cared. I just wish she opened up to me about her troubles, I know it was none of my business; but it haunts me now - the fact that a LOT of what I said during my sessions with her; must have rang some familiar bells in her head. I could have offered my house a safe zone for her if I had known, but I didn't. And now all I can do is imagine what COULD have been. Sigh, I may (very ironically) need a therapist to help me through the grief over my last therapist.
What an extraordinary human being yr therapist WAS
she didn t deserve to be mrdrerd
Dnald Trump DOES
Don t feel gulity
You didn t know................
@@ausendundeinenacht1 Thank you. But please don't bring Donald Trump into this, it's not really relevant or appropriate.
@@bbopaloobop5423 Sorry but, what part of "please don't bring Trump into this, it's not relevant or appropriate" did you not quite understand? My comment was about a lovely woman who was brutally MURDERED. Not about the bloody president. I know they started it, but you didn't have to continue it. Thanks for the condolences, and I know you probably didn't mean anything by it - while I hate to sound rude, your comment didn't add anything and was just as pointless as Harr Lee's was, at least Lee's comment was mostly relevant to my comment - yours wasn't.
me: stares at nothing
my therapist: I NEED TO WRITE THAT DOWN!
Exactly 🙄
Richelle de Neef ikr mine asked me what my favourite pizza was, I said pepperoni and she frickin’ started scribbling in her clipboard 😂
@@klunk4683 😂
LOL!!!
me: stares off into space for a millisecond
my therapist: WRITE THAT DOWN WRITE THAT DOWN!!
What I imagine a therapist would think about their clients:
Ah shit, here we go again
am sure ....but they will never say so they play the part for $150 an hour......
Lollll
😂
I have no doubt my therapist takes a Xanax when she sees my name on her schedule for the day 😂
Me: *glances to the floor*
Therapist: WRITE THAT DOWN! WRITE THAT DOWN!
I stare to the windows and watch the cars pass, he has joked that i need to have blinders on, hes great
I appreciate the reference
My therapist always mentions when he's thought about me between sessions and it really makes me feel valued
That Music Girl make you feel valid
makes you feel valium
That Music Girl same i love it
If I was a girl and having male therapist that says he thinks about you between sessions? I would find a new one. Seems odd and creepy
Michael Smith not to be funny... but I missed the "he" part. Now that seems a little red flaggish to me.
I am so jealous of those fortunate enough to have you as their therapist
Madeleine Benson same... I wonder if her clients watch her TH-cam channel ...
Awe :) xoxxo
Me too!
Madeleine Benson same.
there are other good therapist out there
i always feel like she doesn’t realy want to talk to me and thinks i’m overreacting
I think I saw you comment on another video. I agree, you should be really comfortable to speak to your therapist if you want the talking to help you. Peace, love, light. All the best to you.
Same 🤪
I had the same issue and just discussed it in therapy and it helped A LOT. Now my therapist understands better what's going through my head and why I act a certain way and can push me in the right direction.
It is important and respected to stop seeing therapists that don't make you feel safe, comfortable and valid at all times. That therapist may work well with other people, but not with you. Humans have different dynamics sometimes. Not your fault, not her fault. Show yourself love by finding the right fit.
same :/
I love that meditating froggy on your shelf. 🐸
Zen frog 🧘🐸
Victoria Rose I’m glad u see it too
🤤
Victoria Rose
Lol
I look at that frog in every video
I literally *C A N T* make eye contact with my therapist, I feel so uncomfortable talking about my issues, ya know?
Oof yeah I've definitely been there.
SAME!
Trust your instincts. They're telling you NOT to trust your therapist.
@onee- chan Quite
@@phoenixnoire2435 this was not necessary.
I feel so insecure in session that I have trouble keeping eye contact with my therapist. I’m always expecting her to laugh at what I’m saying because I’m used to not being taken seriously but when I look at her she’s actually taking me seriously and it always surprises me.
oh yeah i was so shocked too when my therapist actually listened to me and took me serious! I had never experienced that before, to be validated in my own experience.
Aw, I'm glad you had this experience! I'm sorry you went through so much of not being taken seriously. I wish you all the best.
one time my therapist said to me "can i tell you something? it's honestly a wonder that you're not more screwed up. like seriously"
I had a therapist tell me something similar. I found it comforting somehow. Like, I'm coping better than most would in my situation. It feels like validation for the struggle and difficulties I was going through at the time, like yeah, anyone would have difficulty juggling life given your circumstances.
Like, it was incredibly good for my healing knowing that the fact that I wasn't functioning properly was a normal reaction the the ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I've endured in life.
Good on you bud.
marleylmao I’ve had an old one ask me how I ended up “normal”. I told her if I was her version of normal she needed to reevaluate. 😂
I actually had a therapist ask me that too
My father's general-practitioner physician (that my father saw for decades) told me when I had my first adult doctor's appointment with him when I was 18 that I "was lucky I wasn't feeble-minded" (my father was born in 1930 - this was in 1984 - the doctor retired soon after - so his doctor was using old-fashioned terminology) from living with my (bi-polar I & paregoric-addicted) father ... !
That comment she said about her patient with anxiety not touching the back of her couch after being there for 2 years , I felt that so hard.
Well the back of the seat didn't
I wish you were my therapist
This tho!!!!
same
Honestly same I’d love to ask her a few questions about my eating disorder but I’m too afraid to pop up🤨
I really love my therapist but Kati seems like an awesome one too!
She seems rather professional.
Clients notice things about their therapist too!
Oh I'm sure!!! haha! xox
Oh, I know. I didn't think Katie was making me feel bad or judged at all. I was just making the comment that I felt that therapy is a very complicated professional relationship. That it's not one sided.
I definitely don’t. I notice some things as a client, but not everything. I’m pretty busy processing my own emotions. Also, most therapists I’ve seen have great poker faces.
For sure my therapist was smoking hot that’s all I could think about during the whole session
Angela L yeah like she’s better off running a flea market in Brooklyn than continuing to do this.
She’s a total anxiety case man
I think TH-cam is trying to tell me something through these recommendations
KrustyDanmakuDude right?!
When I had a therapist I felt that she was misinterpreting me and my motives a lot.
Was she? Or was she gaslighting you? Which of those would she have had financial motivation to do? Just something to think about.
You just need to find the right therapist for you.
This with me too that’s why I haven’t gone back most therapists are narcissists that enjoy exploring people
I do too with my current therapist and it would keep me up at night if I were to tell her or get a new therapist it’s hard
4:10 do you make eye contact?
Me, immediately doing everything I can NOT to make eye contact: why would you *MENTION IT*
me: (͠≖ ͜ʖ͠≖)
I make eye contact when I'm listening, but when I'm trying to explain something, eye contact is very distracting. I wonder what she would write down lol
@@dctrbrass Just like me! Do you know why we are braking eye contact while explaining tho?
Ur Sun Rae I used to not be able to keep eye contact my anxiety would increase
I’ve gotten better but I still hate it lol
@@googleuser5370 I believe it's just a reflex to better focus in what you're explaining.
This is hilarious. I had your name in my cell phone notes for like six months because I met you at a premiere when I was standing around awkwardly instead of “networking”. You had a therapy you suggested for my PTSD and night terrors! Hi Kati! My insurance still sucks...but I’m glad I found you on TH-cam!
I also find it hilarious that neither of us mentioned TH-cam to the other, yet, here we are.
molina? or what ever its called? i hate it
I almost knew it! They are people too!!! Whole new perspective on socioeconomical behavior. My eyes were never as open as now!
One thing, I do NOT like the title. I think it has a negative connotation to it, or at least that's how I interpreted it.
How did you get pstd?
"Leave without crying" ain't that the truth
Leave and not be completely disassociated..I knew I was that person that caused her to run later more than once..but she also felt comfortable enough some sessions to ask if she could eat while we were not working too hard
It's funny because therapists don't have feelings.
My therapist was incredible. Through her I felt I was able to be okay on my own. I’m honestly eternally grateful for her. At the end of our treatment she gave me a hug and basically told me she thought I was going to be okay which made me feel so proud of how far I had come. It took me many therapists to find the right one and it was a rough process but I’m glad I ended up where I did.
When do you know when you have a bad therapist?
Wrong. My therapist is sitting there thinking I’m hella cool.
You might be right. There have been many times during sessions that I find myself getting excited for consultation day so I can tell the rest of the team about this really cool new client that I just started with. We're there to help you with your struggles but the ways in which you rule at life do not go unnoticed.
😂😂
starkman78 How much do they talk about their clients to their colleagues?
starkman78 what makes a client really cool
* writes in notes * .....has... delusions.... of.... grandeur.
What we do know is that the world would be better if all therapists had your approach: a real desire to educate, a passion for your own learning, a constant drive to empower people and make a difference.
You absolutely do.
You make the world better, Kati xxxxxxxxxx
Awe thank you so very much Sarah :) xoxo
sarahwithstars I wish my therapist was like that.... :( We don't really get along and she gets frustrated with me which causes me getting frustrated too and I get angry. I feel worse after the therapy... I know it's not normal but I can't find a good therapist in my city :(
Mariola Oliwa have you tried online therapy? Maybe that would be a good approach for you! Just a suggestion :)) hope you're having a great day!
As a therapist myself, I can attest... This is 💯 right on target!!!! These definitely sound like the things I think about during sessions. However, I usually say most of what I'm thinking with the person. I tend to use lots of humor and curiosity which makes it easy to hear. I think it helps build trust. No awkwardness. No feeling judged. No wondering what I'm thinking. Great video, Thanks Kati. You hit the nail on the head!
@synchromorph Pseudoscience?
@synchromorph I just hope you are on the path enlightenment and if you need it, that you find the "help" you crave whether that means through your own studies or other resources. When you post comments such as yours you seem to be reaching out on some level. Someone who had everything "figured out" would likely not be spending their valuable time on TH-cam let alone watching a channel such as this. Belittling and berating others seems to be your cry for help.
@synchromorph I certainly don't have anyone or everything "figured out". I base my opinion on your comments. I'm glad to be there for you to express your self perceived superiority. I am amazed you would let yourself be utilized by me in such a way. I do appreciate it.
@synchromorph Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) is a PSEUDOSCIENTIFIC approach to communication, personal development, and psychotherapy created by Richard Bandler and John Grinder in California, United States, in the 1970s.
@synchromorph Again as a seemingly narcissistic person I am amazed at your willingness to allow me and others use you for our own personal gain. Again I sincerely want to thank you!
My therapist’s office only does 45 minutes for each session. So, a big thanks to those therapists who go the extra five!
I don't think my psychiatrist knows everything before me. He makes assumptions, which is extremely frustrating and makes me feel like I'm not being heard. I've also had therapists confuse me with other patients.
Planet of Ether yeah, that’s the worst when they try and make an assumption about you, and they are way off base.. not even close. Then that awkward moment when they realize they confused you with another client.
@@mylifejen6372 Yup, I'm always glad when my therapist pointed something out and said herself "I might be completely off but have you thought of this or do you see yourself in this in any way?" Also often asking what my emotional reaction to her assumption was. :)
There are differences - like she pointed out in the video to drop clues (in case it is right/to get them better), but not tell people what to think, feel etc.
Planet of Ether very frustrating .. if you get drunk once they’ll label you an alcoholic . You can drink 3 times a year and they’ll diagnose you with alcoholism
*Watches video even though I have been denying a therapist for around 6 years*
I admire your patience. I thought I was strong to have made it barely 4 minutes in.
Lol same
Lmao same
My therapist was like my mother. She taught me a lot and was truly a sweet soul. Therapy is such an intimate thing.
So easy to fall in love with them unfortunately they are not allowed to feel the same
@@rol407 No, it's not that therapists are not allowed to FEEL the same, but not allowed to ACT ON it. Therapists should have the ability to notice those feelings so that they would not act on it
“What others think of you is none of your business,” was SO helpful for me.
When my therapist revealed to me some of the things she had noticed about my body language etc. in-session, my mind was totally blown. It was a bit uncomfortable because I normally play so close to the chest; I didn't like to think that anyone could gather any information from me that wasn't coming out of my mouth in calculated sentences. In the end it helped me realize how invested she was in listening to me - that she was paying really close attention, and I could be sure she would really absorb what I was saying (both verbally and non-verbally).
Absolutely. You know, you can learn to read simple body language as well. Then you can read your therapists's body language.😇
I always have a hard time talking to mine without sobbing so I never accomplish anything. anxiety is the worst thing ever.
Maybe you could try writing a journal and share aspects of that? I used to do that and it helped.
@@1985bjaycat I'll second that! It often helps me to write things down - I actually voice recorded once or twice as a back-up (in a room by myself) in case I'd choke up and become unable to speak... :)
Ashhly: For some people, crying in therapy is a good thing. It gets things out. But I guess it isn't good for everybody and could probably help some people stay stuck. It depends.
Tabita S. Do u have social anxiety?
Same here my therapist says that I might be faking my anxity by I tell him I don't know why I feel like that.
My therapist actually doesn’t take notes during my session, which makes me feel so much more comfortable. I’m sure she takes notes after sessions, but not doing in session is so nice.
My therapist in my last state was amazing. When I dissociate and try to continue, she would change the topic to something simple. She realized that laughing about my trauma is my coping mechanism. Also she couldn’t legally diagnose me but she was explain what I was feeling without saying it. I loved her
I would be so annoyed if a therapist did not tell me the things they understood about me, both on the 'my life' front as well as on my subconscious behaviour. I hate being "watched" without being told.
I'm not trying to lose my time. If I'm paying for therapy, I want it to be efficient. I don't like information being withheld.
MichiruEll It probably isn't being withheld so much as brought up in conversation for you to realise for yourself - it's not like therapist would know from the off something they suspect is true, would only confirm it by talking further and building more comprehensive picture of you. Also even if that is the case, likely not as beneficial to simply tell you straight up as it is for you to realise for yourself. If it was that easy you'd probably already be getting similar advice from friends like 'that relationship isn't a positive influence on you, you should leave it'...advice you might already be ignoring.
MichiruEll I stopped because of this. I always left the sessions with more confusion than before
You may benefit from seeing a social worker instead. They tend to be Brief Solutions Focused oriented mixed with a few psychodynamic and psychosocial.
I completely understand :) I would be really particular about what type of therapist you see.. for example a CBT style is much more direct whereas someone who just does talk therapy may not share as much. I hope that helps! xoxo
Agreed. My last therapist did this and it felt uncomfortable. My current one is more upfront and says things like "it seems to me that you are ____." It's been so much more effective and feels way less patronizing to be included in the process rather than treated like a child.
You are a good therapist Kati because you care x
All care
@@susu959 some don't
I had a therapist at one point. When I first started out, she was calm, concerned and truly listened. As time went on, it seemed more like she was just going through a textbook of things to give me to work on. She'd keep harping on about "affirmations" and such, but what I really wanted was someone to truly listen and maybe give insight and advice. It eventually led to a point where she felt I wasn't dedicated enough to bettering myself that we parted ways. I'm glad we did, since I felt there were times she was bringing her own drama into the conversations, and she was taking my money to talk about her problems.
My new therapist asked what was my end goal, what did I expect to get from our time together. Well, there's no end game,I've been going to therapy on and off for 30+ years. I'm not "curable". I was raped starting at 9 months old until my teenage years by my stepfather, his father, 3 neighbors, 2 cousins, (and my daughter's friend in my 40s). It was constant throughout my life and it can't be fixed but sometimes I can maintain my sanity for several years. And then I need to talk, it all insists on escaping from that locked closet in my mind. It's like a monster than rips the door off the hinges and throws it right in the middle of my soul. Then he wreaks havoc. The best I can hope for is help getting him back in the closet and slamming the door for awhile. Fk their homework, I'm trying to survive 😂
I had a talk therapist where all I did was talk. I ended it after 3yrs because I got tired of talking. She had no interaction or purpose.
Same@@jenniferlynn329 useless.
I had a great therapist long ago. She retired. Have not found another like her ...
Nowadays I'm on my own. Thinking of starting a support group where I live.
Message SilencedVictims on Instagram he helps people get through depression, anxiety and other feelings like them. He offers therapy for 10 times cheaper than a Therapist that you would have to go to and speak to face to face(£25/$35). He helps you through text because many people may not feel confident going out and seeing a therapist. This also gives you time to think and really express yourself, he is there to listen and assist.
This video gave me anxiety.
Honestly the video sounded like frustrated venting, made as much (maybe more) for her own therapy than it was as an informational aid for other people.
*scribbles notes furiously*
@@thebutlerdidit6357 😂
I'm happy she's not my therapist.
@@OphiuchiChannel Lol!!!
I love this! its like when you are taking a test and have to focus really hard for hours continuously and how exhausting it is, that’s what a therapist does during a session. We see EVERYTHING and especially working with kids, I need to be on top of everything at all times because meltdowns are always imminent. And being a music therapist, I need to do that while playing instruments! It’s EXHAUSTING! But also thrilling ❤️ noticing small things like what song is he/she humming, in what key? Do they always hum in the same key? What type of stimming do they use? What rhythms do they play, what type of lyrics do they write? Is it always minor? What emotions do these songs or instruments evoke Etc... Multitasking at its fullest!
WOW :D you´re superhuman! ;))
Thank you so much for sharing your point of view too!!! xoxo
ASL Anissa Your name suggests that you do ASL. Is it for use with and for autistic kids? You mentioned stimming. Your students are autistic?
I mostly have worked with kids on the spectrum, yes. And I do often incorporate sign language into sessions. Sometimes it's needed for communication and other times it is to help work on other goals like, focus, eye contact, fine motor skills, or language comprehension. Sometimes it's just fun to add signs and it helps with engagement during a song experience. :)
ASL Anissa Very cool. I have Asperger's, but lost most of my hearing I used to have. So, sometimes, I use sign language with voicing. But, I have seen autistic people use sign language when they are non-verbal. :) Cool that you do this for them. :) Thank you for helping them. :)
My therapist dumped me. On the day before she changed her practice she said “it’s probably for the better, it wasn’t really working out.” I didn’t realize it wasn’t working out...
Ouch, but it would be nice if she had explained more. Maybe she thought you weren’t getting anything out of it
Message SilencedVictims on Instagram he helps people get through depression, anxiety and other feelings like them. He offers therapy for 10 times cheaper than a Therapist that you would have to go to and speak to face to face(£25/$35). He helps you through text because many people may not feel confident going out and seeing a therapist. This also gives you time to think and really express yourself, he is there to listen and assist.
That's really unprofessional.
That’s not okay. You had a toxic therapist. That’s not normal. I’m so sorry you went through that:(
@@92caligrl my friend said that she's gotten dumped by her therapists more tha twice. i guess you were lucky?
I will now be totally self conscious of every movement I make in my therapists office. I'll constantly be thinking... "Am I sitting too close to the edge of the chair? Too far back? Will they misinterpret the fact that I am fat and don't feel comfortable in their too low, squishy chair as anxiety? Am I gesturing more than normal? Am I making enough eye contact?"
Just be yourself and focus on conveying your truth to your therapist.. (((hugs)))
I always wonder what my therapist is thinking. Mostly, I wonder if what I tell her is too much for her. How does anyone deal with hearing such traumatic stories every day? I'm often scared to open up mostly because I'm scared to upset her. I know she's human. She has feelings. I know that education prepares a therapist, but I still feel for them. I can't help it. So I guess I just wonder how they deal with that client walking out the door, then another walking in not long after, and having to somehow manage to detach and then focus on that next client. It must be so hard sometimes. I dunno. I over think stuff sometimes way too much. I hope that makes sense.
FaerieJayne choose a therapist you feel comfortable with, can trust, and will not judge you but your circumstances.
That's why a lot of therapists go to therapists themselves. Helps to filter it all!
It's honestly all about boundaries.. and taking care of ourselves :) While its human to feel for someone else and know how hard they had it.. we are there to help, not get upset too. That's why we are in our own therapy too! xoxo
Thanks, Kati for your reply. This is reassuring
I know I’m a year late but honestly you are a very empathetic person and it’s a nice thing to see
Do therapists notice when a client may be too attached to them? And also do therapists analyze everything we say? One time I asked my therapist how old she was and I felt like she was analyzing me for that. Thanks kati!!!
Heidi Hosinger please answer this
I hope it's not easy to tell if you're attached I feel like I'm obvious of how I feel about people
As a therapist, I will answer from my experience. Yes, we gauge attachment. I want to ensure a client is able to maintain and achieve progress without it hinging on me, as that is the long term goal. However, a strong rapport or solid attachment is important to assist the client during therapy. If there is an issue, a therapist will discuss it with you, so try not to worry about it in session. Romantic feelings or physical attraction can be a barrier for a theraputic relationship, as well. Please feel welcome to ask your therapist this question directly! It is part of our jobs to evaluate the connection.
Yes, you were perceptive to notice your therapist’s reaction to the age questions. It is a common question and can be asked for myriad of reason, hence the therapist trying to determine your motivation. Some clients prefer a certain age, are trying to assess your skills or determine if they feel the therapist will have personal experience.
For example, a client might ask that question because they may only want a therapist that is older, or married or had children because they feel the therapist may not be useful, if they are young, single or childless.
Nothing wrong with the question, sometimes a client will ask out of simple curiosity, but often there is a deeper reason.
Hope that helps!
I once had a therapist who didn't know what to do with me and so she decided to pawn me off on someone else and used the physical attraction angle as an excuse to not work with me anymore.
Ian Michalski ?? What is a physical attraction angle.
I saw a therapist every week for 18 months, towards the end she suggested a project as a mark of closing the sessions. I paint so did a portrait of her. It now hangs on the wall now and if my mind begins straying back to dark places I take a glance at it and it reminds me of how supportive she had been and her common sense attitude to dealing with the dank parts of my life.
“I want you to do well, I want you to feel better” *cries*
My relationship with my first therapist, I saw her from ages 12-15, definitely crossed the line into a friendship. My mum recognised this sooner than I did, but I found it very difficult to stop seeing her so instead just started spacing appointments out further and further as I started seeing a new psychologist. I never really had any closure from that relationship and even to this day it makes me sad to think about how things ended. I'm 17 now and luckily the therapist I see now is great at maintaining boundaries and keeping me on track, while still allowing me to connect with her. Thanks for the video Kati 😊
Do you ever feel sad when someone tells you something? Great video! I love the meditating frog 😂😂
I can definitely feel sad for them.. especially when they are recalling a repressed memory. It's hard not to feel for them. xoxo
Kati Morton
This could be a really good topic to cover further. When confronted with something like a sad story, how do we sort out empathy vs sympathy, healthy boundaries vs urge to "fix it" etc? Witnessing someone's pain is very difficult, how can we best do this in a way that's loving to them and ourselves? Thanks!
Morgan B when with a therapist this the moment to be honest. If you would go to a gp for stomic pain, you will have to say you're there because of stomic pain, not your arm. They are trained to do this and can (or should be) able to deal with your sadness. They can only help If you're honest
Mignon Hagemeijer
Excellent metaphor, excellent advice!
Morgan B
Building off of what Mignon said, it's also ok to be honest and point to where it hurts, but say it confuses you, scares you, etc, and maybe you're not ready to tackle it all at once. You get to set the pace :)
I've never seen my therapist write anything down, but she remembers everything, mind like a vault, shes amazing
Love your vids. I'm a psychology undergraduate in my third year. I started out wanting to be a therapist but I realized I'm too empathetic for it and would struggle with clinical detachment. Psychology remains my passion and I'm really good at it, considering doing math modeling/research in either cognition, psychophysics, or engineering psych and becoming a professor so I can get deep and connect with individuals on a broader scale. Glad to see someone who can do it well, being a therapist must be challenging at times, but I imagine highly rewarding as well.
I have had some great therapists. But I quit my last one when she just seemed bored by whatever i said, and it made me feel really insecure and insignificant (which she could have known was a thing for me if she'd ever paid attention to what I said...
I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for a few years now. The thing about bad therapists being impatient really spoke to my experience with CAMHS, a British young adults therapist service. It’s notorious for not helping many people. The woman I was seeing repeatedly got frustrated with me for not ‘getting better faster’ (yes she actually said this) and genuinely seemed annoyed when she’d ask if I’d been okay and I’d say I hadn’t been feeling too well. It made me end up lying to her because I felt intimidated by her and that if I was honest I would anger her. My school therapist was a LOT better however I had to stop seeing her because it was interrupting classes.
ArtisticShortcake, I really feel for you. Trying to get any help in the UK is so hard. I'm in a battle with my so called MH team at the moment. To be honest, they are the most unprofessional bunch I've ever encountered. I used to nurse, and I have a family background in psychology and generally I can see right through them. In turn this gives me a bad reputation for speaking my mind. When I was a teen, I would have felt just like you, as it took years to get my voice and be able to express myself.
I really, really empathise and so sorry you're also struggling with not only having a really difficult illness but having to deal with our rubbish MH system. They personally have made me worse.
I hope you can find someone to help you. I find the Samaritans are very good, non-judgemental listeners. They genuinely care, as they aren't getting paid and in my experience are very kind.
Unfortunately it's our government we have to thank for our appalling MH system. It's just so under funded.
Really hope you get some help. Hugs x
ArtisticShortcake ps. I didn't mean to be so negative and hope I didn't make you feel worse. Also, my mum was a counsellor and my sister is a psychologist (both NHS) and I can genuinely say they really do care about people. I do feel though, that times have changed so much and it's very hard to get a good therapist on the NHS. Maybe you can see if there is an organisation such as "Off the record", wherever you live. Here it is a service for anyone between the age of 16 and 25. xx
This makes me so appreciative of my therapist!! Wonderfully kindhearted woman, when I first went into her clinic I was so scared that I'd trick her into believing my pain when I was actually just a stuck-up brat.
When she did believe me, that changed everything for me.
Early on I made these rules for myself - to always tell her the truth, to be fully vulnerable around her, not to read her notes (or try to), and to respect her time.
The reason I managed to stick to them is because she's great at what she does and meets me right where I'm at every single time, so there's never room for shame or fear of being judged. I'm honestly so freaking glad I found her
I’m almost 62 years old and you have crushed my belief that a person as young as yourself could be my assist through some things that need tended. I enjoy your videos!😊☮️🎈
I'm studying to be a therapist and am addicted to your videos! Thank you for this channel. You are an excellent communicator as well as an obviously really GOOD therapist! Learning a lot from you
The best thing I heard while going though my anxiety is that I'm human. That opened my eyes. I now accept the bad with the good.
Anne Prado Talks same!
I see a therapist for about 4 months now and it was the best decision I made since a few years. It feels so good to talk to someone about everything that bothers me, without them judging me.
I wish someone had explained "therapy" to me the way you just did before I started my Masters degree in Counseling. You were spot on in your depiction of what goes on "behind the scenes". Counseling is a tough job, few people recognize how much you have to juggle information and time and education and self-care and family. Hats off to you for presenting so clearly the demands on a therapist/counselor. I want to believe that the majority of people go into the Counseling profession because they want to help, unfortunately that passion to help is too often drowned (is that a word?) by the task side of the business. Hope you're well and thanks for raising the curtain!
I love my therapist. She shares a little bit about her life and some of the struggles she’s going through or has, and it really helps to connect and open up. She acts like a person instead of uptight. Plus she comes to my house so it really helps me feel more comfortable and open up.
Could you do a video about how adolescents (teens) are in therapy and how to best work with them
Hi Kati! I'm starting applications for Counseling Psychology graduate schools! Your videos peaked my interest in psychology a long time ago and now I'm on the road to my dream career! Thank you! I love your videos! Especially your videos about therapist/therapy!
YAY!! That is so exciting! You are going to be a wonderful therapist!!! xoxo
My therapists honestly just comes across as waiting for an "AHA!" moment. She even becomes visually upset when I let her know that she misunderstood something I have said or is getting facts confused. I just let her believe what she wants now without correcting anything. She loves to talk, and she feels more like my mother than my therapist.
Change your therapist
You need a new therapist, more than just a talking one if that's not what you're looking for
Fire her
Why are you paying to make somebody else feel better?
Years ago I was sent to a mental health facility; I lied my way out. Honestly I rather talk to the wall than to a therapist. The last time I saw a therapist I had cut myself and felt embarrassed and hoping he didn’t notice. You’re awesome by the way!
Hope you're doing well 😊
Reallt? I always thought therapy sessions were like this:
Imagine you’re stood on a beach
Water gently lapping at your feet
But now you’re sinking, what were you thinking?
That’s all the time we have this week
Nah that sounds like meditation
No
😂 lol!!
@@alana1119 I hope you guys get the reference. ..
Alan Yuan I didn’t ... but I looked it up when I saw this comment haha. It was a good comment nevertheless 👌
i love how she recommended a video from TheOdd1sOut
I just noticed how much I move when she spoke about how therapist notices everything. Like how I fidget, tap my pencil, swaying, biting nails, tapping foot. Heck, when I’m trying to sleep I randomly stand and walk around my room subconsciously.
I loved this video! And I absolutely love my therapist. I’ve been seeing her for 7 years. She’s part of what makes me who I am. I couldn’t imagine not being able to go see her. All my love to good therapists everywhere 💗💗💗
you have a couch, I never got a couch, I was like where is the couch (in my mind)
😂
Thank you so much for this! I’m always behind too and trying to squeeze in as much as I can into the 10 minutes in between patients.
“Your dad was this way and *your uncle did this* “
Both my therapists (yes I went to 2) didn’t help at all. One rolled her eyes at me and said “no crying in my office!” And the other said “everything will heal over time and it will all be perfect again!” I unfortunately had bad therapists but I do believe there is good people out there like you.
It's hard for me to turn off the worrying I do for others, and I don't think I could handle the career you have. I respect that ethical boundary, but not being able to call somebody up on a weekend and just be like "hey, just checking in on ya" would weigh so heavily on my heart.
Video idea. What if you've been going to therapy for years and you aren't improving, even with good therapist(s).
Good idea; I have a Schizoid PD with all it's implications, and went to three different psychotherapists in a row for 1.5 years. Main conclusion of my ""therapy"": A waste of time and money; I'm still schizoid as fuck, I just learned to fake human interaction, fake interest, fake emotions, fake being a more or less normal individual.
Yeah, I’d really love to see a video on that too tbh. Xx
I feel like I am pretty difficult to read, I would really like to know if that is true. I think my therapist does not know how things are going and if things are working out.
Find the right therapist or method,for Schizoid PD maybe you need some somatic therapist,or you have an ''no''' within yourself,try to think also for yourself,what do you really want,how you wanna live,make yourself a goal, than go and find someone to help you,if is not helping say it to them,or change therapist... btw i was so schizoid that my head was always on side,like almost on my shoulder,and i had non present look, i look much better physically now but still feel a lot schizoid even when is not noticeable, i try by being as much present as i can with things around me,not sure how you struggle,im not schizoid PD but i guess its something similar cuz my therapist dont give diagnosis, but mentiones schizoid (as a slef defence mechanism)
OMG. Yass... Thats me man :") hahahaha
Just found your channel! So glad because I can really relate. I decided to go to therapy three and a half months ago and I am sooo thankful I realised on my own that I needed help. I work with an excellent therapist who is the first one I tried with which doesn‘t happen like that all the time. She also makes the sessions 50 minutes and I totally get why. We are not robots and I feel like after 50 minutes you have already accomplished a lot, the 10 minutes in between are absolutely necessary for not only the therapist but also for you. You have the time to resume what you talked about and schedule your next appointment. The point you made about writing things down also resonated with me because the fact that my therapist documents everything makes me feel that I am taken seriously and that everything is part of a programme which is the idea of a therapy. I hope that people who deal with serious problems in their lives have the courage to seek professional help because it is available to us! Thank you for your videos and for being a therapist that really cares about the human being you are treating.
I left the military this past Feb. I came to your channel because I'm interested in the mental health field. Your video on the different type paths was awesome. Thanks.
I was in therapy for like 50 hours. And all it did was to leave me frustrated. My therapist only sat there and waited for me to talk. And almost never talked or asked questions. I always felt i got nothing to say, so I just had to make up some shit I didn't even really care about or wanted to talk about, just to fill the silence. And it was irritating me more and more each time. I told him several times, and it never really got better. He said the therapy is supposed to be that way, for me to talk about what I want to talk about. Well that is nothing, and I don't want to sit in silence either, so the only reasonable solution was to quit.
So, all those "clues" you talked about leaving behind. He didn't seem to leave any of those, because he barely spoke.
Polar Bearon Mine also didn’t talk much and when he did he was being Mr. Obvious and more or less repeating what I said in other words. Sometimes he had a good insight but mostly I felt like I just repeated what I‘d already known before. Maybe I’ll try again sometime with another therapist but hopefully with someone who is able to dig deeper.
Polar Bearon woww
I saw one right after lunch and she fell asleep every week while I was talking to her.
Some therapists use different methods. Find one whose method and philosophy suit you.
You need to find the right one for you. I’ve had some bad ones. But now I’m seeing a really great one
My heaven, that sounds exhausting. Thank you for all the work therapists :)
You remind me of my own therapist. I once sent her a message saying "You've got a beatiful soul."
I honestly adored my Psychologists. Though she wasn’t entirely a Registered Psychologists and she was in progress of becoming one, she was one of the worlds most helpful people I’ve ever met. At this moment I really miss her and I want to notify her how fine I am doing in person.
I suffered from extreme anxiety and depression and *SHE* helped me get through it. I was thinking of suicide and killing myself. Having her in my mind everyday kinda just reminds me that there’s always someone to talk to. After getting through my anxiety and depression she wasn’t notified that I was doing fine via person but by email. At this moment I wish I went to her and thanked her so much for what she has done.
I haven’t communicated with her in months. I’m just glad I met her. :)
Edit: I believe she was doing an internship in within the Child Psychologist type field (since I went to a child psychologist)
I appreciate people like you so very much. When I was a teen, I saw someone in your profession. He helped me make eye contact and communicate with people. He made me stare at his eyes while I talked during our sessions. Amazing how those small things can completely change your life. My therapist taught me so much when I was young, that I learned how to handle things on my own as an adult. When you mentioned being able to see where things are going before the patient did, I laughed. It’s so true! Sometimes I could see those realizations in his eyes. I’d pick up on that, and try to coax it out of him. As an adult, when I’m having a problem, I think about it as someone else looking in now. Really helps me sort out what I should do. Loved this vid.
Sounds useful!
& that’s why I’m scared to see a therapist ..... the fact that I have to tell someone EVERYTHING and what’s going on inside my messed up head.... just terrifis me!!😭
Yeah same :(
The good thing is once you've found a good therapist you cannot shock them, cause they've seen/heard/read all there is. :)
You don't have to tell everything about yourself. It is helpfull to tell hard things to yourself first. Then, when you are ready would know when it should be helpfull to express it, to tell it to your therapist.
Trust me, you will tell them whatever you need to get out of your chest! You don't have to feel forced to tell them your life story. It's a safe place! They're not expecting you to open up right away, they know you might need some time and they accept it. I think it truly is better to talk about what's troubling you instead of holding it in. At your own pace, of course! Sending you lots of hugs 💚
Same
This is amazing. I wish there were more therapists like you though, I do feel you're a rare breed, hence the 1+ million people pulling towards your content.
Only change I would make is changing "bad therapists" to "inexperienced or bad" therapists (in the context of moving clients too quickly). Pacing is a hard skill to pick up during training. Excellent resource video once again! 💚
Also regarding bad therapists... th-cam.com/video/fZ_WoP0gWmw/w-d-xo.html
Great video Dr. Kati. It's nice to hear that therapists genuinely care. I know mine does, but I still feel like a burden to her. Very strange feeling but true!
Thank you for caring and for all your years of study
Thanks for the conversation. I am a therapist myself, new to the field. It's helpful to hear how your are reaching out to common client perspectives and offering real, frank, and honest explanations! keep being cool!
I wish i had a therapist like you. I've had 5 different therapists and were in a stationary therapy, but nothing helped.
But seeing you being so open, honest and..hard working makes me happy for those who has the chance meeting a person like you. It gives me a kind of relief, that outside people getting help, even if it's not me.
I once had a therapist a long time ago that was very nice and helpful and during sessions woild just relax and be myself. Well one time I relaxed a little to much and not to sound gross or horrible but I accidentally broke wind during session. I was so embarrassed. She just simply said it is only human. Each session thereafter, she or I never reminded each other about it and just kept a simple client/patient relationship.
i just want to say that this channel inspired me to start therapy (my parents helped me a bit on the way as well because i was literally terrified of the concept of therapy haha) after having been unable to continue going to uni after high school because of anxiety; i was basically just home for like a year and could barely even see my friends because i got sick all the time, it was like my body just shut down. now one and a half years later i'm back at uni and have an extra job as well which just seemed like the most impossible thing a year ago. i never thought i'd get better but therapy has really worked wonders - so thank you so much for the work you do on this channel!!
That's amazing! So happy for you♡
Way to go!!
It's good to know that you read through the last few notes written about your patients that you wrote. My friend goes to therapy for depression and every single appointment her therapist forgets that her dad died when she was younger, which is one of the main reasons she's in therapy but I think she's afraid to tell her mom what's going on because we are just teenagers and she is very non-confrontational. i feel really bad so it's good to know there are good people she may potentially see! :)
Being a therapist, if the professional is commited, is a really noble profession.
Helping people with their pain, to get to know themselves and to be an emotional support in their dark days. Is so kind and human.
Loved the video a lot! ❤👍
How interesting!! Our (husband and my) therapist is observant enough that she caught my bp rising even though I was outwardly just sitting calmly without fidgeting. She’d realized after only seeing me twice that a birthmark between my eyebrows would flush, she explained (and I confirmed with my bp machine then took my rescue med).
I have lupus, badly controlled bp (despite 5 med’s for it), and seizures (caused by strokes from a removed brain tumor) so without thinking I exclaimed, “My pets alert to that but I thought they did it by smell, how’d you do it!” (facepalm)
(None of my animals are trained to alert, but my pit/rott (RIP 12/26/2017) would knock me down and pin me when I was about to have a seizure, and she would lay on me or across my legs if my bp spiked; she must have taught some of the others because now two of my dogs and three of my cats will lay on me or try to keep me from standing if my bp is stupid. They weren’t trained to do that so it took me awhile to grok why they were doing it [V8 forehead smack])
Why do you keep facepalming and head. smacking?
Both the Therapist and pets are observant. That is a comfort
Both the Therapist and pets are observant. That is a comfort
When she asked me "Do you keep eye-contact" I struggled so hard with it...
I love how I can see how much you love your job in your eyes
Kati, I have watched many of your videos.
I have learned a lot.
Thank you.
I just started seeing a new therapist and this makes me feel better about it. Thank you!!’
Yay!! Of course :) xxoox
I'm SO happy you made this video! Since starting therapy and IOP, I've been driving myself crazy with these questions and finally have some answers! Thank you 💙
Yay! So happy to help :) xoxo
I had my first session today, thanks to some friends and your video's! Thankyou Kati!
What a sincere answer. New to the channel, loving it already 👍🏻 Keep up the good work!