24 minutes in.. Thank you for making this video. The reality of psychosis is something that only people who’ve gone through it can understand. I can’t really follow religious spirituality due to the unhinged spiritual experiences I experienced in psychosis. I definitely had to grieve the person I was, and get used to who I am becoming. But I still long for projects of myself that I thought were truly part of me before I had to change medications. Medications are a whole other story. It’s like how much are my perspectives, wants, and ambitions are filtered out due to an antipsychotic? I miss unwavering creativity and drive. I miss feeling like I understood my place in the universe. Now, life is “good”, but it’s almost so slow and stable that it’s unfulfilling. I just hope I can reach new heights and find purpose in my being. It’s not all bad. My story is a little different because drug induced psychosis kickstarted my bipolar and i haven’t been the same since. There’s been highs and lows but I really would’ve benefitted by staying sober sooner.
Carolynn, thank you for being brave and honest in sharing your experience that has changed you and empowered you. have you ever thought of comparing NDE (near death experiencers) accounts and your experiences? because NDE experiencers report being changed for life. and in a way, the map of NDE - where they go, what they understand, teachings they receive - is similar. they have overlaps. and the reason is because in NDE the soul leaves the body as a result of medical conditions but in psychosis, the soul leaves the body temporarily as a result of not able to deal mentally with the hardships their environment presents with.
@@billurugursal6349 oh wow, so many things I’ve never considered! I don’t know much about NDE, although I drowned and was resuscitated when I was 6 years old. I just remember everything being peaceful and white. It would be interesting to look into, thanks for suggesting it!
I have Schizoaffective Bipolar type and other illness and i was forever changed by my psycosis. I grieve the time ive lost to it.also your style like hair, makeup remind me of a modern Marilyn Munroe ❤
Ive changed. I used to be a push over, no direction. Now because i have an eternal bully inside of me (my voice) im not taking shit from anyone when i take shit from a literal demon everyday. Im stronger now. And very strange. Living with 2 personalities makes you an alien compared to everyone else. Im starting a solo ghost hunting channel. Plan on sleeping alone in haunted places to be the best bait i can be to get results. Ive seen crazy thing's too. I had my doppelganger show up 2 weeks before my schizophrenia. I was trying to warn myself.
Thank you for sharing your experience, educating others, and breaking stigma through your channel, and congrats on getting featured on NPR! I've been finding your content really relatable and informative. It's been about 6 months since my hospitalization that put a wrap to an extended psychotic episode, and that was an extended hospitalization too. I went back to the hospital again recently after ruminating over things and being in shock over the consequences over damages done/caused, and I sense I'm in the grieving stage of the aftermath. I am grieving over lost time, damages done, hurt caused, and it's a lot of gravity to take in. It's really inspiring to see that you're in a space to be loving your life and have the capabilities to help other people. I am in therapy trying to learn how to heal unresolved trauma and not let it dominate me and affect me in how I respond/react in life. I wonder, if it's possible, if you could consider making a video on grief after psychosis and how to overcome that, that would be helpful. I could ask that to my therapist but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone with the lived experiences. Regardless, thank you so much again.
I’ve been following your youtube channel and was happy to hear you on the “Lost Patients” podcast 👏🎊. Your comments on the podcast, as in your youtube videos, are were helpful to understand what it’s like to have lived through a psychotic episode and how one deals with the aftermath of such an experience.
Ah thank you! I’m so glad you listened. ❤️ I’m really pleased with how hard Will James has worked on it & how he’s shown this community so much empathy.
Haha thanks! I like the music too. I'm getting a good microphone to block out the background noise, but I think I'll keep the music anyway. I like other creators' videos that use music so why not?
I am going to be so honest here: it is your choice entirely, but you do not have to return to anything that is triggering, especially if it messes with your mental health. PSTD trigger or not, triggers for uncomfortable experiences are no joke. I am this way now with this one wax melt I used during psychosis. Yeah, it smells pleasant. Yeah, it sucks it now that it doesn't comfort me and is bitter. I also had to leave certain friendships behind as they would purposefully make me question things about my reality. I am coming to terms with the fact that I needed to "figure the world out" or "become spiritual" like everyone else (mine was a spiritual psychosis, partially....). Basically: you do not need to have some elaborate to avoid a trigger, or get rid of an item, especially if it is something you don't have to have in your life. And if you are worried about those things, find replacement items or dress up the food with a different flavor that grounds you to what you are experiencing here and now vs back then. Also, remember this: you can always donate items that are clothing or reusable that no longer serve the right purposes for you. I did this with some clothes that trigger me, too.
Also, the striped shirt you are wearing could be a trigger. It is a well known one for several people with it. It is disorienting to most minds, but for people with psychosis it can make our brains hurt.
I appreciate where you’re coming from and I respect your approach to handling triggers. There are some triggers that I absolutely won’t go near, but a great deal of my triggers are things I loved that I’m reclaiming. Kind of like exposure therapy. Being able to reclaim the things I love gives me back some of the power I lost over them, and also some of these things were core parts of my identity. I’ve been able to overcome a lot of triggers over the years and it makes me so happy to enjoy the things I love again. My life felt stunted without them, I felt very limited. If respectfully keeping distance from your triggers allows you to heal, that’s great! It’s equally great that I manage my triggers in a way that is empowering to me. To each their own! Also, I’m not triggered by stripes - it’s actually one of my favorite things to wear because it makes me happy to see.
Hi I am really glad that you are well and recovered. I am wondering what it was that made you reconnect with your Mother/parents after psychosis when you did not want anything to do with them. Was it their persistence, or how did that come about? Thanks for your great videos. This is a very rare area.
I should give up trying to make sense of life and let myself be in a bewildered state. That's being comfortable in uncertainty. Also a title of a book by a Buddhist who I don't agree with. I'm a Fifty four years old man and a child inside.
Thank you for your videos and for being so open. As a side note, I wonder if you'd consider not adding background music? I think it would be more impactful without that as a distraction. ❤
@@user-wb2yv7ll9d well, the music is used to mask the sound from my neighbors, so I use it because the background noise is actually much more distracting. Sorry to disappoint! It’s not an ideal situation. I hope to move somewhere less noisy eventually.
Alguns sintomas considerados psicóticos seguem acontecendo contigo? Como por exemplo: ver vultos, ou sentir presenças, ouvir vozes...? Mais uma vez obrigada pelo vídeo. Um abraço!
Faz um vídeo sobre o que permaneceu igual após o episódio psicótico? Talvez seja interessante verificar o que ficou daquela que um dia você já foi. Beijos
Ok, I’m hoping good translate did a good job - so do I still have symptoms like hearing voices and seeing figures? No, they’ve all gone away. I’m very lucky that the medication works well on me. I know not everyone loses all their symptoms so I feel very fortunate.
After psychosis it was a jarring experience....i had to grieve the person who i was but i enjoy the reality check i needed.
You are not a bummer..you are a teacher. I'm so impressed that you work hard to put these episodes together.❤
Aw thank you! I appreciate that, because I sure bum myself out a lot haha.
24 minutes in..
Thank you for making this video. The reality of psychosis is something that only people who’ve gone through it can understand. I can’t really follow religious spirituality due to the unhinged spiritual experiences I experienced in psychosis. I definitely had to grieve the person I was, and get used to who I am becoming. But I still long for projects of myself that I thought were truly part of me before I had to change medications. Medications are a whole other story. It’s like how much are my perspectives, wants, and ambitions are filtered out due to an antipsychotic? I miss unwavering creativity and drive. I miss feeling like I understood my place in the universe. Now, life is “good”, but it’s almost so slow and stable that it’s unfulfilling. I just hope I can reach new heights and find purpose in my being. It’s not all bad. My story is a little different because drug induced psychosis kickstarted my bipolar and i haven’t been the same since. There’s been highs and lows but I really would’ve benefitted by staying sober sooner.
Thank you ❤
Carolynn, thank you for being brave and honest in sharing your experience that has changed you and empowered you. have you ever thought of comparing NDE (near death experiencers) accounts and your experiences? because NDE experiencers report being changed for life. and in a way, the map of NDE - where they go, what they understand, teachings they receive - is similar. they have overlaps. and the reason is because in NDE the soul leaves the body as a result of medical conditions but in psychosis, the soul leaves the body temporarily as a result of not able to deal mentally with the hardships their environment presents with.
@@billurugursal6349 oh wow, so many things I’ve never considered! I don’t know much about NDE, although I drowned and was resuscitated when I was 6 years old. I just remember everything being peaceful and white. It would be interesting to look into, thanks for suggesting it!
You are an amazing communicator! You use clear descriptions and analogies to illustrate your ideas.
I have Schizoaffective Bipolar type and other illness and i was forever changed by my psycosis. I grieve the time ive lost to it.also your style like hair, makeup remind me of a modern Marilyn Munroe ❤
Ive changed. I used to be a push over, no direction. Now because i have an eternal bully inside of me (my voice) im not taking shit from anyone when i take shit from a literal demon everyday. Im stronger now. And very strange. Living with 2 personalities makes you an alien compared to everyone else. Im starting a solo ghost hunting channel. Plan on sleeping alone in haunted places to be the best bait i can be to get results. Ive seen crazy thing's too. I had my doppelganger show up 2 weeks before my schizophrenia. I was trying to warn myself.
Full metal is one of my faves and a PERFECT reference to how I felt and how you feel
Aw thanks it really does explain it well!!
This helped me a lot. Very relatable. Thank you!
Thank you for sharing your experience, educating others, and breaking stigma through your channel, and congrats on getting featured on NPR! I've been finding your content really relatable and informative. It's been about 6 months since my hospitalization that put a wrap to an extended psychotic episode, and that was an extended hospitalization too. I went back to the hospital again recently after ruminating over things and being in shock over the consequences over damages done/caused, and I sense I'm in the grieving stage of the aftermath. I am grieving over lost time, damages done, hurt caused, and it's a lot of gravity to take in. It's really inspiring to see that you're in a space to be loving your life and have the capabilities to help other people. I am in therapy trying to learn how to heal unresolved trauma and not let it dominate me and affect me in how I respond/react in life. I wonder, if it's possible, if you could consider making a video on grief after psychosis and how to overcome that, that would be helpful. I could ask that to my therapist but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone with the lived experiences. Regardless, thank you so much again.
I’ve been following your youtube channel and was happy to hear you on the “Lost Patients” podcast 👏🎊. Your comments on the podcast, as in your youtube videos, are were helpful to understand what it’s like to have lived through a psychotic episode and how one deals with the aftermath of such an experience.
Ah thank you! I’m so glad you listened. ❤️ I’m really pleased with how hard Will James has worked on it & how he’s shown this community so much empathy.
Truly appreciate your videos.
Much respect and gratitude. 🙏✨
I LOVE THE MUSIC BEAT SISTER IT HITS ME EVERY TIME...
Haha thanks! I like the music too. I'm getting a good microphone to block out the background noise, but I think I'll keep the music anyway. I like other creators' videos that use music so why not?
I am going to be so honest here: it is your choice entirely, but you do not have to return to anything that is triggering, especially if it messes with your mental health.
PSTD trigger or not, triggers for uncomfortable experiences are no joke.
I am this way now with this one wax melt I used during psychosis. Yeah, it smells pleasant. Yeah, it sucks it now that it doesn't comfort me and is bitter. I also had to leave certain friendships behind as they would purposefully make me question things about my reality. I am coming to terms with the fact that I needed to "figure the world out" or "become spiritual" like everyone else (mine was a spiritual psychosis, partially....).
Basically: you do not need to have some elaborate to avoid a trigger, or get rid of an item, especially if it is something you don't have to have in your life. And if you are worried about those things, find replacement items or dress up the food with a different flavor that grounds you to what you are experiencing here and now vs back then.
Also, remember this: you can always donate items that are clothing or reusable that no longer serve the right purposes for you.
I did this with some clothes that trigger me, too.
Also, the striped shirt you are wearing could be a trigger. It is a well known one for several people with it. It is disorienting to most minds, but for people with psychosis it can make our brains hurt.
I appreciate where you’re coming from and I respect your approach to handling triggers. There are some triggers that I absolutely won’t go near, but a great deal of my triggers are things I loved that I’m reclaiming. Kind of like exposure therapy. Being able to reclaim the things I love gives me back some of the power I lost over them, and also some of these things were core parts of my identity. I’ve been able to overcome a lot of triggers over the years and it makes me so happy to enjoy the things I love again. My life felt stunted without them, I felt very limited. If respectfully keeping distance from your triggers allows you to heal, that’s great! It’s equally great that I manage my triggers in a way that is empowering to me. To each their own!
Also, I’m not triggered by stripes - it’s actually one of my favorite things to wear because it makes me happy to see.
Hi I am really glad that you are well and recovered. I am wondering what it was that made you reconnect with your Mother/parents after psychosis when you did not want anything to do with them. Was it their persistence, or how did that come about? Thanks for your great videos. This is a very rare area.
I should give up trying to make sense of life and let myself be in a bewildered state. That's being comfortable in uncertainty. Also a title of a book by a Buddhist who I don't agree with. I'm a Fifty four years old man and a child inside.
Thank you for your videos and for being so open. As a side note, I wonder if you'd consider not adding background music? I think it would be more impactful without that as a distraction. ❤
@@user-wb2yv7ll9d well, the music is used to mask the sound from my neighbors, so I use it because the background noise is actually much more distracting. Sorry to disappoint! It’s not an ideal situation. I hope to move somewhere less noisy eventually.
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle Thanks! Makes sense 🙂
Thank you Carolynn!
Thanks
Exactly!
Wow ,u r awesome !
Alguns sintomas considerados psicóticos seguem acontecendo contigo? Como por exemplo: ver vultos, ou sentir presenças, ouvir vozes...? Mais uma vez obrigada pelo vídeo. Um abraço!
Have u ever thought of wanting to transform into that version of you who is able to do the things you were meant to do ,before psychosis .??????
i love you
Faz um vídeo sobre o que permaneceu igual após o episódio psicótico? Talvez seja interessante verificar o que ficou daquela que um dia você já foi. Beijos
Ok, I’m hoping good translate did a good job - so do I still have symptoms like hearing voices and seeing figures? No, they’ve all gone away. I’m very lucky that the medication works well on me. I know not everyone loses all their symptoms so I feel very fortunate.
Oh that comment was supposed to be for the other comment you made. I would love to make that video! I will work on that for next week.
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle obrigada pela sua resposta. Um abraço! 🌻
Psychologists destroyed my life!
mentalcel
Hope you are doing better, have you ever considered the lord Jesus
I’ve been Episcopalian all my life, so Jesus has been in my life since I was baptized as a baby.
Plagiarism.
Hi! What are you referring to? Thank you.
Who am I plagiarizing?
@@Psychotic.in.Seattle I think maybe this was just bait.