Picking up the SLACK as a Visually Impaired Spouse.
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ต.ค. 2019
- I discuss the difficulties of being a Blind or Visually Impaired Spouse and how I made changes for the woman I love so her life could be less stressed do to my Blindness. Is Marriage 50/50 or 90/10 and why I feel it does not matter. HAPPY WIFE HAPPY LIFE
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Great video. Over time everyone figures out systems and tricks to tackle every day life. For socks I found it easier if each person only has one type of sock, one style and one color so all socks match. You can also use laundry bags for delicates to keep each person's socks separated. The most important thing is to never stop learning and never stop trying. The fact that you want to be there for her and do as much as you can speaks volumes. My former husband, who is not a VIP, spent the last years of our marriage doing nothing. He didn't work and did nothing to keep up the house. Meanwhile I worked a full time job and a part time job and had all the chores at home to do. This is why he is my "former" husband. Keep on keeping on Vincent. Your wife is a lucky lady.
Sometimes the spouses we get stuck with are more like the children we have with them. Lol you feel like you're more doing parenting then just being.
I'm glad you gave him the boot. I would not tolerate it either. Luckily I have a wife that comes home and if she doesn't like how I do something she will do it all over again. Hahaha what seriously she does this.
I have days or I'm just not in the mood to do certain things and she will gladly take over and do it for me that day. She never complains about it. And that is what makes a marriage great. Should not be a one-way street should be a two-way street.
I laughed by the way your comment was awesome. I told my wife what you said in this comment she thought it was funny also. I get from this comment that you are a very strong individual. I hope you have a blessed week I cannot wait to hear more comments from you again.
Same same same! It’s been almost 5 years into my blindness. I did my share of moping around, still do sometimes. But I’m adding more daily chores all the time to help our household run smoothly. My wife definitely appreciates it!
Definitely makes the household and easier environment to be in.
and there's always something we could do to be keeping our minds busy.
thanks for your awesome comment but I want you to know one thing. I'm still going to win the mic in your not. Lol have a blessed week.
Vincent Grasso My Visually Impaired Life umm, nope. Sorry. Not gonna happen. Uh uh. No way, No how. That mic is mine! Just think, with 2 mics, I’ll be twice as cool! And be in stereo! Lol. You have a blessed week as well!
Hi Vinnie, this is such a super topic. It goes beyond, what I referred to as, division of labor, and gets to the heart of partner relationships.. It forces two people to sit down and figure out who can do white. And that makes chores and responsibilities in a household so much more clear. I know that when my sister’s husband left his job of almost 20 years to stay at home, my sisters life changed for the good. Neither of them are visually impaired but my sister’s husband cleans, Does all of the laundry including ironing, has learned to cook and has her meals ready for her when she gets home from work, cuts the grass, trimmed the hedges, works on the cars, Was home when their daughter arrived from school each day and honestly, my sister says that it is the perfect set up for them. She is happy to be the sole breadwinner . In my case however, I do most of the household tasks and ask for visual feedback from my husband. He has only known me as AVIP although my vision went downhill quickly over the last five years. That required us to re-adjust our division of labor and since we are both retired, we share the cooking and have now hired some helpers to do some of the outside yard work. So it really pays to be flexible and, like you said, jump in and do all of the things that you can possibly do without vision and leave the rest for the partner with better vision, especially driving Reading mail, paying bills and matching socks. Just a little hint. I always required my little girls to match all of the socks in the household. I couldn’t do it, my husband did not have the time and it was a greatn A great learning activity, matching like things to like things. This has just been a great video Vinny!. Have a wonderful weekend, love, Beverly
thank you so much Beverly and I can learn a lot from you which I have already done many times over with your wonderful comments.
I try to get my kids to match clothing or socks and I get the eye roll at least I think I do. Lol all I know is they walk off laughing at me.
Just kidding!
I actually enjoy keeping busy with all these things. I'm trying to add more more each and every day. The more busy I am the less I think. It's when you stop and have too much time to think you become paranoid or get mega anxiety.
A busy mind is a clear mind. Thank you for your wonderful comment Beverly full blessings to you and your family.
Vincent Grasso My Visually Impaired Life I was careful to say that I assigned these chores when my girls were little. This did not work as they grew into adolescents. LOL. Definitely the Iroll which, by the way, we blind people are able to see. You are so right in wanting to stay busy because it does make one feel productive and it makes you feel that you are contributing, which you definitely are by being a stay at home parent. You still just amaze me with all of the things you are able to do after only two years of severe site loss. Your family is blessed to have you Vinny and I truly mean that. Just keep up this great content because the rest of us are also very fortunate to have you putting out this great content on your channel. I look forward to all of your uploads. And again have a very blessed weekend.
@@bamablind9916 thank you so much Beverly for all the kind words you always say.
I want you to know that your comments truly do put a smile on my face. You are a great friend. Your husband and family are blessed to have you. Truly
Great video. Very inspiring to see blind people succeeded in life. I'm partially blind now and expect to be completely blind in the future. It can be scary sometimes
glad you got it all worked out. My wife of 19 years has only known me as a VIP. It did take her a while to figure out what exactly I can and can not see. Figuring out who does what in a home for any couple takes time and patience.
And there are still many things we need to work out. And ain't over yet. I was just happy to find ways to make her life a little easier. Thanks for the comment always a pleasure to hear from you.
You’re a good man and sounds like a great husband. Love the video and the message for the VIP community. Thanks buddy
Thank you Chris and I try each and every day to be a good husband and a good father. My family is my everything. I was lucky enough to have a great childhood and all I ever wanted was the same for my own family. I was not going to let a visual impairment get between that. so if it means I have to do more work to keep a happy wife and a happy life so be it. Thank you for always being here to back me up with your wonderful comments.
Goooooood Morning Vincent my good buddy :-)
Loved your video (as always). I am kinda on this whole journey of learning how to adapt and make myself useful and to be able to feel that I am actually an active participant. I have done my fare share of moping, and to be perfectly honest with you, I still do have plenty of moping days - but, I'm working on that.
I had to give up work, and that made me feel like a free loader and that I wasn't contributing at home or to society at all, and that made me feel hellish. But, slowly, over time, I am learning how to manage my time better, how to be a better persona and learning how toileting be a better person to my loved ones.
I used to be a chef many years ago, and whilst I am no where near as adept at cooking than I used to be, I do the majority go the cooking. My knife skills are good, and I manage in the main.
the bump dots , I use exactly as you do - the washing machine and the dryer are now just easy, whereas, without these, I would not have a clue. I too have a grid system for the floors, and whilst I Amy miss the odd little bits, in the main, I think I do a cracking job of them.... and if I did a too perfect job, it wouldn't give my other half anything to man about - right? haha
What I struggle with, is giving myself a routine, and structuring my day - so, I am working very hard to try and fix this... bit of a work in progress that on e haha.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend, and I look forward to your next video my friend
God bless
I think the fact that I have a 3-year-old always up my butt keeps me in order when it comes to having a everyday ritual or schedule.
Because of the way my vision is I too don't have as much hard time using a sharp knife as most with a visual impairment or blindness. Just a little peripheral vision still makes a difference.
But I am striving to be a better cook for myself and my family. I will admit though I have been slacking. Lol
well I hope you get everything in order where you are across the pond. And I know you will cuz from what I've heard and seen you are very proactive individual. And you always have so many enlightening things to say. Just like you not be able to do my job with the biggest hit I took on my emotional state. I loved my job and to know that my job no longer needed me to do it bothered me very much. It was just too dangerous a job and you kind of need central vision to do it. Lol
I still till this day get Mophie over the fact that I miss my job. But you never know what will happen tomorrow my daughter will start to go to school maybe some form of transportation will be around in my area and maybe some kind of job that I really like Will find its way to me. Thanks for listening to my video always a pleasure to hear from you. God bless my friend
Hey Vincent.
I’m always looking forward to seeing your videos and seeing what the next topic is going to be. I’m still waiting though for the room the video on him the classes. LOL.
This was a great topic and I agree that marriage is definitely work. I am so I am glad that you made a video on this. I know I try my best to do what I can, but sometimes I fail and I just do the best you can that’s all you can do.Yeah great guy and a great husband and buddy. I’m very blessed to have you as a friend and I can’t wait for the day that I come back to New Hampshire and I get to finally meet you and your family in person.
See you in the next one buddy hugs
Well I can say also that I agree cannot wait to finally meet you and your family as well.
It's so funny you constantly mention the orcam. I am now officially going to take on the video. No more procrastinating. Lol
I was at my peer support group for the blind yesterday and I got a lecture about me making this video. Hahaha they told me to stop being lazy and get on it. So I'm going to be doing so.
I'm glad you enjoyed the video it was a topic I wanted to talk about for a while.
there's a whole lot more I could have mentioned as well but I wanted the video to not go on forever. Lol
Always great to hear from you my friend Hope you and your family are well and your week is going great. God bless
I’m so glad someone made a video like this. Thank you
You're welcome, but I have a confession to make! I still hold to everything in this video I said. However, I make my wife clean the bathroom now!! L. Ol.
But in reality, my marriage is still great and mostly because I didn't mope around and I tried. And my wife is always forever grateful for it. Now my daughter is so much bigger and she pretty much takes care of me. Lol.
Thank you so much for enjoying the video and leaving a comment. God bless!
Thanks
Your welcome
Smiley emoji, and star emoji.
Great video. I hope one day I find a man that will love me.
Amanda don't you worry you will find a man that loves you.
It's funny how love comes our way. My wife and I met and weird circumstances.
15 years ago I was with another woman. For a few years and she got pregnant but I knew our relationship was deteriorating. and I did not want to and I tried and I tried to make it work and the more I tried the worse I got.
I decided to throw a huge baby shower all by myself to win her back. So I went to the closest toys r us and I went to the baby section to start a registry. There was a young pretty pregnant woman working the baby department ironically and I asked her would she want that she was going to be a new mom soon as well so she helped me pick out everything for my baby registry. I said thank you and I went on my way and I went on with my life. Fast forward almost a year later the baby shower never worked she just did not love me like I loved her. She moved on and I tried to move on as well. I just stayed as good as Dad as I could to my son without his mom being in my life. Fast forward even a little bit further. a co-worker I was working with told me her sister was just as annoying as I and we should hang out sometime. Well, eventually her sister ended up coming to my work. Ironically her sister was the pregnant girl from toys r us that helped me with the baby registry.
Fast 40 year later or dating fast forward 15 years later we had been married for 10 years. We have our own child and I had an amazing stepson in the process and my amazing son with my ex and a great relationship with his mother to boot.
What I'm trying to tell you is little did I know 15 years ago when I was trying so hard to just stay at a woman's life that did not love me, that the love of my life was there by my side helping me at the baby registry that whole time. I often think at times that I could have passed her by and never seen her again where would I be today if I didn't have her.
Just keep your heart open in your mind clear and a man will come your way. Just don't let it pass you by. All the blessings to you Amanda and I will say a nice big prayer for you tonight.
Vincent Grasso My Visually Impaired Life Thank you so much for your prayers.