Mel, your videos always resonate with me, and this one is no exception. I started to self-soothe with alcohol and cigarettes aged 13. Later in life, I also became addicted to exercise, workaholism and general perfectionism. I was taught at a very early age that my feelings and emotions were not valid and that I should never express or display them. However, I was made to feel responsible for the feelings and emotions of others. I came to believe that I should give and give and give - but never expect to receive. I thought the way to get love was not to be any trouble to anyone, to cause them no inconvenience. When I did the exercise you suggested, I was transported back age 6/7. This was when I started to have nightmares and became very afraid of the dark. My parents would become angry when I went to their room looking for comfort. One night, my father completely lost his temper, and started to slap me really hard hard. My mother had to drag him off me. The next morning, they sat me down and told me that if I woke them again in the night, I would be sent to a childrens home, where there were lots of big spiders in the bedrooms. (I was terrified of spiders as a child.) After that, I would lie in bed, stiff with fear, but not daring to move. Not only did they fail to soothe my night-time terrors, they actually added more. As a result, I started to wet the bed, triggering further shaming and disapproval. As I grew up I felt I could never take my worries or concerns to my parents. I was too scared of angering them. I kept my fears and anxieties to myself, but looked for love and comfort in other places. The wrong places and with the wrong people. Thank God that my wounds were eventually re-opened by Narcissistic abuse. When we first meet a Narcissist, they instinctively know what we are craving. They pretend to have what we so desperately need, and then snatch it away. This is what eventually forced me to go within....there simply wasn't anywhere else to go! Much love xxx, Sylvia Wilkin.
Sylvia Ann Wilkin you are the first person I ever heard, to say she believed the way to be loved is to give no trouble to anyone. I am needing to overcome that. God cares. I am married to narcissist. If I need anything, he is angry and offended. I feel rejected. I reject myself before someone else does.
I'm turn towards my abuser to rescue me from the pain that he has created. It's a sick dynamic that I am hoping that this topic will help me escape from. Thank you for this newest video. Self-soothing is so necessary. I hope I get there before I'm completely destroyed by this man.
God that's sick to think about. That he gets supply from my pain..... wow. I'm going to have to sit with that one for a while and let it sink in. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your words, wisdom and truths. I have not engaged with ANY narcissist whatsoever, after delving into why they were attracted to me and vice versa. I now am sickened by narcissist, as opposed to being in awe or mesmerized which eventually turns to imprisonment. Thank you for bringing such light for all of us whom have been horribly absent within ourselves.
Melanie Tonia Evans -You have quite literally saved my life. A therapist first told me that my mother has NPD - I had no idea what that was. I wasn't able to continue seeing her because I moved, but that was a miracle in disguise because I would not have looked it up and found you online. After all the research and therapy I've done, you are the most expert at teasing apart the poisonous, insidious, often invisible abuse that is narcissism. Because of my mother, I never had a male or female friend or boyfriend who wasn't a narcissist - My life was so full of the wretched pain, trauma and addiction because of it, that from the age of 15, (I'm now 49), I was suicidal. After 10 years sober and listening to you for the past 4, I no longer attract or am attracted to them! I might suggest one difference of opinion based on personal experience - once the self-medicating becomes an addiction, it is no longer possible to heal the underlying issues until the issue of addiction is healed. As you state so well, we can't heal what we aren't prepared to feel. When we are under the influence of any substance or addictive behavior, our feelings are masked, distorted, chaotic and irrational. We have to climb the mountain of recovery before we can climb the mountain of facing the feelings that caused us to become addicted, and to reclaim our peace and power- very difficult, but very possible - our lives depend on it. You are also the only person I've found who has developed actual exercises that with some practice, have become part of my arsenal of self-love, protection, and continued recovery. You are a gift to the world.
+lisawillnyc I am so pleased you are healing and finding your way clear - and have stepped out of the N-abuse cycles. It is so true, I absolutely agree Lisa that we need to go "No Contact" with the addiction and then heal the reason for the addiction. For myself to recover from Ns, smoking, workaholism (in fact many compulsive self-medicating disorders) I stopped them - allowed the anxiety to hit and then took it to Quanta Freedom Healing Modules and healed the terrors and insecurities that was causing the anxiety (I self-partnered and self-shifted). Then there was no need to self-medicate (reach for substances / activities that were diminishing me further). Keep up the good work Lisa! xx
+Melanie Tonia Evans - A personal message from my hero? I'm on cloud 9!! I can't thank you enough for providing a method for continuing recovery. "allowed the anxiety to hit" Wow, powerful, always more to learn. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me!
Exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I've experienced a major trigger and this helps me understand so much. Thank you so much for this wisdom. Blessings to you Melanie! Glad you're back!
your healing philosophy is spot on. prior to finding you on YT I had actually brought myself through the exact healing process that you describe. its a beautiful process once it begins and we can heal and reassure our inner child that we will not abandon him/her again. That alone lies the foundation for deeper transformation. This process also heals ancestral wounds, as well as future familiar wounds that can be healed or avoided preemptively.
+Marie Sprowl - Brilliant. I love the part about healing ancestral and future familial wounds - I was deeply wounded by my narcissist mother, who was deeply wounded by her narcissist mother - I don't know if or how far the pattern may have gone back. There is a theory that all disorders may be genetic - if so, I did not inherit it, but suffered the affects of it. Thanks to Melanie and a lot of hard work, the buck stops here!
+lisawillnyc I love that - it is so important to stop the buck with ourselves. That is how we are going to end the cycles of abuse / abused. Thank you for your comment! xx
These videos are totally opening up my world and helping me understand so much. I stumbled across you at just the right time too! Your a good woman for making these videos and helping people. :)
Again, BLESS YOU Mel!!! This is a powerful message. Very helful. I purchased and I'm using the program and have been coming HOME finally to myself! Today has been a major breakthrough in my feeling and not just logical understanding that I have been living from outside in. I've heard it before, been told it yet it took major shifts to get to this layer of my reality. I'm FINALLY feeling much less fear of self and more true love and compassion. Inward, upward and forward in self love and power. Gently. :)
Thank you Melanie~ it's very painful to heal these childhood memories. When I believe I'm healed then I end up being blindsided by yet another Narc. I'm at a point where I am afraid to have any meaningful conversations with anyone. I truly don't understand why people cannot be kind and loving in return or keep their word? I am kind and loving to everyone and it hurts when the same kindness is not returned.
+Believe In love I finally got relief from this disappointment, that like u I experience over & over; it's a Magnetic attraction. There's nothing we can do about it, it's not our fault. This lady's work is ground breaking, because she sees the truth of what's really going on. We have to heal ourselves, love ourselves more, and only these Narcs, who bring out the deepest love in us, can hurt us enough to wake us up! I also believe we do help the Narcs too, no one talks about this, but by being with their opposite, they see that they are lacking (in kindness, sensitivity), and it can in some cases heal them a little too.
+Believe In love I encourage you to use Melanie's free resources and partake in her free webinar the next time it's offered. There's more details about this on her website. There's also a recovery program available, for purchase, consider this an investment in our healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse, it's called NARP. I've invested in my recovery by purchasing this program. I've just started in December 2015, and it's amazing. I came across her material 3 years ago, but just wasn't ready to accept the quanta healing freedom technique. I guess I had to go through more pain. I'm ready now. Once you invest in this program, at gold level, you become a member of the NARP forum where you can meet people just like you working on their recoveries. Blessings to you.
+Claire Brandon SA I believe that too, I believe it's our light and energy that attracts them. Sometimes it's just painful to find our way back out of their darkness they have given in return.
I thank you for all the wise information and help you give out. I am in the middle of breaking up with a Narcistic person and thought I could cope and that my self belief was strong. Unfortunately in reality it clearly isn't and I want so much to avoid any further connection with such people and heal myself. I am 70 years old and somewhat astounded that I hadn't realised my true situation until now. Although only 2 year relationship, moving on is proving difficult and I classed myself as a sensible mature person......guess it is never too late to learn,....hopefully.
+Anna truly it is not too late to learn and heal and Thrive. My most senior Thriver is a beautiful and inspirational story I share in my Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar. I'd love you to join in with one of our amazing Groups Anna! xoxo
Mel, your insights are the best on TH-cam. It’s really comforting to know that there are tools that can help to calm the anxiety and detach and self partner. You project confidence in the path of healing and demonstrate stability which reinforces that we are not victims, but thrivers! It is truly inspiring. I feel stronger and less shaken by the behavior of the narcissist. It’s freeing and self affirming to put this into practice. It feels like by confronting emotions, the overwhelming chaos begins to fall away into its place. This particular subject reminded me of the embarrassment I experienced as child from a parent who couldn’t control emotional outbursts. I’ve been embarrassed about my relationship with my narcissist, which is actually causing me more pain than the actual actions.... interesting. Thanks again! Much love, Hillary
Aww Hilary you are so welcome and thank you so much for your kind words. Are you working with the NARP program to help you hun? If not, please consider checking out my free resources as a first step, then you will be able to reach the roots of the trapped traumas inside of you that are in replay and bring in Source healing and well being to project you onto a different trajectory in life, leaving all narcs behind. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thanks for the reply. I just did your three hour seminar and plan to listen again. I will be looking into the NARP program further for certain.
Bless you. Your Living Testimony and Active Witness is a key in my healing and living my LIFE for my good. Finally a place with support In what I've researched and know is healing for my WHOLE person. Thank you.
Melanie, just listened to this video for the second time. And for the second time, you touched my soul and I couldn't help but cry, but in the most beautiful happy way, listening to your example of self-soothing speak: "Dear Little One, Inner Being that I Adore, I am here for you, I love you, I'm going to be with you, You and I are going to create the most incredible relationship where I look after you, and I listen to you, and I hear you and I'm here for you." I cried listening to this because my inner child had this removed from her life a very long time ago, and now I know - Just like with Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - I've always had the ability to give this to myself, but just didn't know. "Not until we come to understand our true nature as Soul do we realize our power to create the events and relationships of our lives." (April 2013 Blog quote by Linda Le Boutillier)
Thank you Melanie. I am going through a counselling process at the moment after opening Pandora s box when I did some fiction writing. This makes sense on so many levels :-) xx
I did it so many times yesterday and still have many more trips to go. The overwhelming amount of pain that engulfed that space, that was emitting from me, was ....... Well I don't have a word strong enough for it yet. But I realized, I am the narcissist and turned myself into the narcissist. my main supply was myself and I had been feeding on myself my whole life. But the inner reflecting is exhilaratingly amazing. Time travel at its best at the moment. If this is the first time hearing about this or you just don't understand yet, keep trying. Please listen.
In my experience the narcissist was the clinging person in the relationship. They had to have that constant mirroring and supply of attention. It was very vampiric and damaging.
Melanie. I absolutely love your videos, insights, honesty and wisdom. I bought your Quantum Healing tool and am working my way through it. You have helped me so much in healing my life. Thank you. Gwendoline Dirk
What can I do to tap into my subconscious more? I have tried what you said several times but when I ask where these fears, pains and anxieties came from I get nothing in response. My conscious brain tries to, then, butt in and come up with a solution. But I know that you mentioned we need it to be the subconscious part of us. Thank you for any help you can offer. Your videos really help me to understand this whole process better which has left me so unclear and lost, until now. Thanks, Megan
For anyone wondering whether to do the NARP programme, I would advise to do it. I have searched for therapy but not found it. This programme works. I had a troubled childhood leading to a troubled adulthood. These guided and safe therapy methods evolved by this amazing woman enable a person to look deep into the past and observe what was happening - even to the feelings and thoughts of the people around you. Its revelationary and revolutionary. Feeling the change. What is also happening for me is that my current nemesis is being held right at bay and I am getting more empowered by the week!
There is some dark things that happened in my ancestral past, murders it seems, brutal sights of them. A dark entity keeps interacting with me, saying extremely dark, yet truthful things. A frail sense of vulnerability and rotten sadness spreads everywhere. I'll keep going, however there seems to be quite the rich history of pain here. I'm accepting, and loving all of them. Its very painful and dark, however I guess it feels right in a sense.
My therapist diagnosed me with Austim...and then cut me off from seeing me...when she first told me not to get a job and then cut me off from seeing her and told me to get a job... So i went back to my abuser as the place i was staying no longer was willing to host me without payment. & he wanted me to get crazy pay and i also thought it was my way out to get away from him and heal while working on my businesses...so i made myself go from high functioning Austim to faking lower functioning! & when i was cut off from another therapist...i decided it was disempowering me & he wanted me to go through the process again..but i said no.
It's hard for me to find a point in time where I abandoned myself as a child because I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I blocked it out. What do you do in these instances?
Hi Nicole, Using QFH you don't have to 'know' what it is about hun. Your body will find the wound and release it for you. Sometimes it takes a bit of excavating to reach these wounds too especially if you have blocked them out - layer by layer until you reach them. This video may help a little too th-cam.com/video/3RaqXI-7n-s/w-d-xo.html Love and blessings to you xoxox
I am starting to see the point of no/low contact and getting on with 'being' happy' which for me is trying to be as creative as possible. But how do I deal with the anger inside that is constantly triggered? How do I deal with trying to be a better person and to not be anything like my parents? I feel I failed my eldest by letting my mother use him for supply when he was a baby and toddler.. We have talked but I am terrified that he will have difficulties like I did, although my issues lasted 45 years. He says he is ok..but I am afraid, I don't want either of my children to go through what I went through.
+Michonne that is where energetic emotional tools (Quanta Freedom Heaing) comes in - where we have the ability to clear painful emotions, beliefs and traumas out of our cells and therefore our Life. This is so much more effective than trying to llet the pain go logically. You can read about this here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/quanta-healing-explained.htm And please come into my next Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar You will get to xpereince and learn all about this. xx
To say addiction categorically isn't about the substance, idk, that's pretty contentious eh? I mean I have to agree that repetitive usage is basically a coping mechanism but can't we even with say Heroin or alcohol give credit to the substance for being sort of a perpetraitor in its consumption at some point? (Not ever the only perpetraitor but one that deserves nearly half the share of the blame in some instances?) Just curious how this could be reconciled with addiction being about insecurities
I dont think she was negating addiction at all. She simply stated that it is a symptom, coping mechanism to the real underlying problem. You are correct that the addiction itself can spiral out of control, but thats secondary, or half the problem as you put it
+Marie Sprowl That's what I thought. I was just thrown off by how early on her words were "... It's not the activity or substance that's the problem... it has nothing to do with them (the substances) they're simply a symptom." That was linguistically put a little too dismissive.
+Don L I gotcha, context is everything. I think there may be an assumption that ppl ready for this level of healing have addressed addiction issues, or see them for what they are. idk for sure
12! I was 12, and nobody should have been molesting me. What offensive nerve! How dare they, yes, they...Bob and John. Inner child quite conflicted, I'm an idiot and it is my fault. Mom. I'm sorry
Mel, your videos always resonate with me, and this one is no exception. I started to self-soothe with alcohol and cigarettes aged 13. Later in life, I also became addicted to exercise, workaholism and general perfectionism. I was taught at a very early age that my feelings and emotions were not valid and that I should never express or display them. However, I was made to feel responsible for the feelings and emotions of others. I came to believe that I should give and give and give - but never expect to receive. I thought the way to get love was not to be any trouble to anyone, to cause them no inconvenience. When I did the exercise you suggested, I was transported back age 6/7. This was when I started to have nightmares and became very afraid of the dark. My parents would become angry when I went to their room looking for comfort. One night, my father completely lost his temper, and started to slap me really hard hard. My mother had to drag him off me. The next morning, they sat me down and told me that if I woke them again in the night, I would be sent to a childrens home, where there were lots of big spiders in the bedrooms. (I was terrified of spiders as a child.) After that, I would lie in bed, stiff with fear, but not daring to move. Not only did they fail to soothe my night-time terrors, they actually added more. As a result, I started to wet the bed, triggering further shaming and disapproval. As I grew up I felt I could never take my worries or concerns to my parents. I was too scared of angering them. I kept my fears and anxieties to myself, but looked for love and comfort in other places. The wrong places and with the wrong people. Thank God that my wounds were eventually re-opened by Narcissistic abuse. When we first meet a Narcissist, they instinctively know what we are craving. They pretend to have what we so desperately need, and then snatch it away. This is what eventually forced me to go within....there simply wasn't anywhere else to go! Much love xxx, Sylvia Wilkin.
Sylvia Ann Wilkin you are the first person I ever heard, to say she believed the way to be loved is to give no trouble to anyone. I am needing to overcome that. God cares. I am married to narcissist. If I need anything, he is angry and offended. I feel rejected. I reject myself before someone else does.
I'm turn towards my abuser to rescue me from the pain that he has created. It's a sick dynamic that I am hoping that this topic will help me escape from. Thank you for this newest video. Self-soothing is so necessary. I hope I get there before I'm completely destroyed by this man.
Amy, please know, your going to be OK.
+Michele Rico Big giant hug to you. Thank you.
+Amy Hamilton I can relate
been there...its a vicious cycle because the Narc actually gets supply from your pain, so that worsens it for you
God that's sick to think about. That he gets supply from my pain..... wow. I'm going to have to sit with that one for a while and let it sink in. Thank you.
it sucks when you can help someone else self sooth but they cant do it for you.
Thank you so much for your words, wisdom and truths. I have not engaged with ANY narcissist whatsoever, after delving into why they were attracted to me and vice versa. I now am sickened by narcissist, as opposed to being in awe or mesmerized which eventually turns to imprisonment.
Thank you for bringing such light for all of us whom have been horribly absent within ourselves.
+Josephine Elizabeth Romeo you are so welcome, and wonderful you have this orientation now
Melanie Tonia Evans -You have quite literally saved my life. A therapist first told me that my mother has NPD - I had no idea what that was. I wasn't able to continue seeing her because I moved, but that was a miracle in disguise because I would not have looked it up and found you online. After all the research and therapy I've done, you are the most expert at teasing apart the poisonous, insidious, often invisible abuse that is narcissism. Because of my mother, I never had a male or female friend or boyfriend who wasn't a narcissist - My life was so full of the wretched pain, trauma and addiction because of it, that from the age of 15, (I'm now 49), I was suicidal. After 10 years sober and listening to you for the past 4, I no longer attract or am attracted to them! I might suggest one difference of opinion based on personal experience - once the self-medicating becomes an addiction, it is no longer possible to heal the underlying issues until the issue of addiction is healed. As you state so well, we can't heal what we aren't prepared to feel. When we are under the influence of any substance or addictive behavior, our feelings are masked, distorted, chaotic and irrational. We have to climb the mountain of recovery before we can climb the mountain of facing the feelings that caused us to become addicted, and to reclaim our peace and power- very difficult, but very possible - our lives depend on it. You are also the only person I've found who has developed actual exercises that with some practice, have become part of my arsenal of self-love, protection, and continued recovery. You are a gift to the world.
+lisawillnyc I am so pleased you are healing and finding your way clear - and have stepped out of the N-abuse cycles. It is so true, I absolutely agree Lisa that we need to go "No Contact" with the addiction and then heal the reason for the addiction. For myself to recover from Ns, smoking, workaholism (in fact many compulsive self-medicating disorders) I stopped them - allowed the anxiety to hit and then took it to Quanta Freedom Healing Modules and healed the terrors and insecurities that was causing the anxiety (I self-partnered and self-shifted). Then there was no need to self-medicate (reach for substances / activities that were diminishing me further). Keep up the good work Lisa! xx
+Melanie Tonia Evans - A personal message from my hero? I'm on cloud 9!! I can't thank you enough for providing a method for continuing recovery. "allowed the anxiety to hit" Wow, powerful, always more to learn. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me!
+lisawillnyc you are so sweet - bless dear lady and so much love xoxox
Exactly what I needed to hear tonight. I've experienced a major trigger and this helps me understand so much. Thank you so much for this wisdom. Blessings to you Melanie! Glad you're back!
+Sheri Zigmond that is great! I am really happy for you. Bless! xoxo
your healing philosophy is spot on. prior to finding you on YT I had actually brought myself through the exact healing process that you describe.
its a beautiful process once it begins and we can heal and reassure our inner child that we will not abandon him/her again.
That alone lies the foundation for deeper transformation.
This process also heals ancestral wounds, as well as future familiar wounds that can be healed or avoided preemptively.
+Marie Sprowl - Brilliant. I love the part about healing ancestral and future familial wounds - I was deeply wounded by my narcissist mother, who was deeply wounded by her narcissist mother - I don't know if or how far the pattern may have gone back. There is a theory that all disorders may be genetic - if so, I did not inherit it, but suffered the affects of it. Thanks to Melanie and a lot of hard work, the buck stops here!
+lisawillnyc thats great, wishing you lots of energy and healing!
+Marie Sprowl - Thanks! That makes me feel like a million! Thank you for sharing your wisdom.
+lisawillnyc my pleasure 😀
+lisawillnyc I love that - it is so important to stop the buck with ourselves. That is how we are going to end the cycles of abuse / abused. Thank you for your comment! xx
This has explained so much that I couldn't find the words for...THANK YOU xx
Still cleaning.
Even with all the work I have done it's a daily struggle but getting better every day.
This is the best healing material for me online, Melanie. Thank you.
These videos are totally opening up my world and helping me understand so much. I stumbled across you at just the right time too! Your a good woman for making these videos and helping people. :)
Again, BLESS YOU Mel!!! This is a powerful message. Very helful. I purchased and I'm using the program and have been coming HOME finally to myself! Today has been a major breakthrough in my feeling and not just logical understanding that I have been living from outside in. I've heard it before, been told it yet it took major shifts to get to this layer of my reality. I'm FINALLY feeling much less fear of self and more true love and compassion. Inward, upward and forward in self love and power. Gently. :)
Thank you Melanie~ it's very painful to heal these childhood memories. When I believe I'm healed then I end up being blindsided by yet another Narc. I'm at a point where I am afraid to have any meaningful conversations with anyone. I truly don't understand why people cannot be kind and loving in return or keep their word? I am kind and loving to everyone and it hurts when the same kindness is not returned.
I'm the same way n feel like you why can't people just be honest kind n caring
+Kari Colon I look at everyone's comments on these healing channels and I think to myself why can't I find these types of people to have as friends?
+Believe In love I finally got relief from this disappointment, that like u I experience over & over; it's a Magnetic attraction. There's nothing we can do about it, it's not our fault. This lady's work is ground breaking, because she sees the truth of what's really going on.
We have to heal ourselves, love ourselves more, and only these Narcs, who bring out the deepest love in us, can hurt us enough to wake us up!
I also believe we do help the Narcs too, no one talks about this, but by being with their opposite, they see that they are lacking (in kindness, sensitivity), and it can in some cases heal them a little too.
+Believe In love I encourage you to use Melanie's free resources and partake in her free webinar the next time it's offered. There's more details about this on her website. There's also a recovery program available, for purchase, consider this an investment in our healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse, it's called NARP. I've invested in my recovery by purchasing this program. I've just started in December 2015, and it's amazing. I came across her material 3 years ago, but just wasn't ready to accept the quanta healing freedom technique. I guess I had to go through more pain. I'm ready now. Once you invest in this program, at gold level, you become a member of the NARP forum where you can meet people just like you working on their recoveries. Blessings to you.
+Claire Brandon SA I believe that too, I believe it's our light and energy that attracts them. Sometimes it's just painful to find our way back out of their darkness they have given in return.
I thank you for all the wise information and help you give out. I am in the middle of breaking up with a Narcistic person and thought I could cope and that my self belief was strong. Unfortunately in reality it clearly isn't and I want so much to avoid any further connection with such people and heal myself. I am 70 years old and somewhat astounded that I hadn't realised my true situation until now. Although only 2 year relationship, moving on is proving difficult and I classed myself as a sensible mature person......guess it is never too late to learn,....hopefully.
+Anna truly it is not too late to learn and heal and Thrive. My most senior Thriver is a beautiful and inspirational story I share in my Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar. I'd love you to join in with one of our amazing Groups Anna! xoxo
Bless you. Much gratitude and appreciation for sharing this.
Mel, your insights are the best on TH-cam. It’s really comforting to know that there are tools that can help to calm the anxiety and detach and self partner. You project confidence in the path of healing and demonstrate stability which reinforces that we are not victims, but thrivers! It is truly inspiring. I feel stronger and less shaken by the behavior of the narcissist. It’s freeing and self affirming to put this into practice. It feels like by confronting emotions, the overwhelming chaos begins to fall away into its place. This particular subject reminded me of the embarrassment I experienced as child from a parent who couldn’t control emotional outbursts. I’ve been embarrassed about my relationship with my narcissist, which is actually causing me more pain than the actual actions.... interesting. Thanks again! Much love, Hillary
Aww Hilary you are so welcome and thank you so much for your kind words. Are you working with the NARP program to help you hun? If not, please consider checking out my free resources as a first step, then you will be able to reach the roots of the trapped traumas inside of you that are in replay and bring in Source healing and well being to project you onto a different trajectory in life, leaving all narcs behind. www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans thanks for the reply. I just did your three hour seminar and plan to listen again. I will be looking into the NARP program further for certain.
Thank you Melanie, glad to have you back!
+Elizabeth Hislop Thank you - it's wonderful to be back! xox
Thank you so much for posting and sharing! I really appreciate your videos so much. Thank you!
+joannamarierogue My pleasure
Love this!! Ive been seeing an internal family systems therapist for a year now, and it is always good to remind ourselves to not self abandon! Thanks
Bless you. Your Living Testimony and Active Witness is a key in my healing and living my LIFE for my good. Finally a place with support In what I've researched and know is healing for my WHOLE person. Thank you.
thank you Mel....this video is powerful beyond measure
Thank you so much I pray that God blesses you more then you expect. Amen
Melanie, thank you for all your help.
+Michele Rico You are so welcome xo
Smiling My thanks Melanie ~
I love that you recognize my awakening in your videos!!
This video helped a lot, needed this, thanks Melanie
Melanie, just listened to this video for the second time. And for the second time, you touched my soul and I couldn't help but cry, but in the most beautiful happy way, listening to your example of self-soothing speak: "Dear Little One, Inner Being that I Adore, I am here for you, I love you, I'm going to be with you, You and I are going to create the most incredible relationship where I look after you, and I listen to you, and I hear you and I'm here for you." I cried listening to this because my inner child had this removed from her life a very long time ago, and now I know - Just like with Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz - I've always had the ability to give this to myself, but just didn't know. "Not until we come to understand our true nature as Soul do we realize our power to create the events and relationships of our lives." (April 2013 Blog quote by Linda Le Boutillier)
Thanks so much for this. Wonderful,as usual
your videos are amazing...thank you for your guidance
thanks
Amazing video Melanie. Thank you so much, this is so helpful & relevant to me. Huge hugs from Poland xxxx
+Grace Tomaszczyk I am so pleased this helped! xx
This did light up the neurons! Amazing start to 16. Thank you
Thank you Melanie. I am going through a counselling process at the moment after opening Pandora s box when I did some fiction writing. This makes sense on so many levels :-) xx
+Jenny Griggs nee Hall You are so welcome, and I am so pleased it is starting to become clear for you xx
You're really great :) Thanks!
How importing, helpful and compelling it’s to hear Mel repeatedly constantly ,very humbling mentioning her own experience
Wow, you are a gifted teacher! Thankyou for the work that you do, bless you! Mindblowing truth and help and hope!
You are very welcome Zanthur. I'm so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
I did it so many times yesterday and still have many more trips to go. The overwhelming amount of pain that engulfed that space, that was emitting from me, was ....... Well I don't have a word strong enough for it yet. But I realized, I am the narcissist and turned myself into the narcissist. my main supply was myself and I had been feeding on myself my whole life.
But the inner reflecting is exhilaratingly amazing. Time travel at its best at the moment.
If this is the first time hearing about this or you just don't understand yet, keep trying. Please listen.
Your words take me to a magical place... I wish I could live in that.. hopefully soon
soooo beautiful. thank you
My pleasure Robert! xoxo
You are such a goddess! And I love your hair here. Thank you for your wisdom.
Thank you, so helpful x
+Frankie Maxwell Bless and my pleasure xx
You have changed my life! Thank you Melanie
Awww Shelly I am so pleased I can help xoxox
In my experience the narcissist was the clinging person in the relationship. They had to have that constant mirroring and supply of attention. It was very vampiric and damaging.
My addiction was appearing physically attractive... great mask! So much better on the other side!
Profound thank you
+kay Linn you are so welcome xx
awesome!
Melanie. I absolutely love your videos, insights, honesty and wisdom. I bought your Quantum Healing tool and am working my way through it. You have helped me so much in healing my life. Thank you. Gwendoline Dirk
What can I do to tap into my subconscious more? I have tried what you said several times but when I ask where these fears, pains and anxieties came from I get nothing in response. My conscious brain tries to, then, butt in and come up with a solution. But I know that you mentioned we need it to be the subconscious part of us.
Thank you for any help you can offer. Your videos really help me to understand this whole process better which has left me so unclear and lost, until now.
Thanks,
Megan
My head & back...as long as i can remember.
she is right here
Thank you Melanie!!
For anyone wondering whether to do the NARP programme, I would advise to do it. I have searched for therapy but not found it. This programme works. I had a troubled childhood leading to a troubled adulthood. These guided and safe therapy methods evolved by this amazing woman enable a person to look deep into the past and observe what was happening - even to the feelings and thoughts of the people around you. Its revelationary and revolutionary. Feeling the change. What is also happening for me is that my current nemesis is being held right at bay and I am getting more empowered by the week!
+ruth wales I am so pleased NARP has helped you so much! xoxox
Thank you for taking the time for that lovely feedback! xo
+ruth wales Bless! xoxoxo
There is some dark things that happened in my ancestral past, murders it seems, brutal sights of them. A dark entity keeps interacting with me, saying extremely dark, yet truthful things. A frail sense of vulnerability and rotten sadness spreads everywhere. I'll keep going, however there seems to be quite the rich history of pain here.
I'm accepting, and loving all of them. Its very painful and dark, however I guess it feels right in a sense.
greyrock is "Jess M" on the forum! 💜
My therapist diagnosed me with Austim...and then cut me off from seeing me...when she first told me not to get a job and then cut me off from seeing her and told me to get a job...
So i went back to my abuser as the place i was staying no longer was willing to host me without payment.
& he wanted me to get crazy pay and i also thought it was my way out to get away from him and heal while working on my businesses...so i made myself go from high functioning Austim to faking lower functioning!
& when i was cut off from another therapist...i decided it was disempowering me & he wanted me to go through the process again..but i said no.
When i told my mom i was being choked up against a fence at school...she told me to grow a thicker skin.
You get it. Thanks. :)
It's hard for me to find a point in time where I abandoned myself as a child because I don't remember a lot of my childhood. I blocked it out. What do you do in these instances?
Hi Nicole, Using QFH you don't have to 'know' what it is about hun. Your body will find the wound and release it for you. Sometimes it takes a bit of excavating to reach these wounds too especially if you have blocked them out - layer by layer until you reach them. This video may help a little too th-cam.com/video/3RaqXI-7n-s/w-d-xo.html Love and blessings to you xoxox
I am starting to see the point of no/low contact and getting on with 'being' happy' which for me is trying to be as creative as possible. But how do I deal with the anger inside that is constantly triggered? How do I deal with trying to be a better person and to not be anything like my parents? I feel I failed my eldest by letting my mother use him for supply when he was a baby and toddler.. We have talked but I am terrified that he will have difficulties like I did, although my issues lasted 45 years. He says he is ok..but I am afraid, I don't want either of my children to go through what I went through.
+Michonne that is where energetic emotional tools (Quanta Freedom Heaing) comes in - where we have the ability to clear painful emotions, beliefs and traumas out of our cells and therefore our Life. This is so much more effective than trying to llet the pain go logically. You can read about this here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/services/quanta-healing-explained.htm And please come into my next Webinar Group www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar You will get to xpereince and learn all about this. xx
how do I help a codependent friend? would love to hear from someone for advise thanks
Yes i abandoned myself to take care of my mom.
🙏
To say addiction categorically isn't about the substance, idk, that's pretty contentious eh? I mean I have to agree that repetitive usage is basically a coping mechanism but can't we even with say Heroin or alcohol give credit to the substance for being sort of a perpetraitor in its consumption at some point? (Not ever the only perpetraitor but one that deserves nearly half the share of the blame in some instances?) Just curious how this could be reconciled with addiction being about insecurities
I dont think she was negating addiction at all.
She simply stated that it is a symptom, coping mechanism to the real underlying problem.
You are correct that the addiction itself can spiral out of control, but thats secondary, or half the problem as you put it
+Marie Sprowl That's what I thought. I was just thrown off by how early on her words were "... It's not the activity or substance that's the problem... it has nothing to do with them (the substances) they're simply a symptom." That was linguistically put a little too dismissive.
+Don L I gotcha, context is everything.
I think there may be an assumption that ppl ready for this level of healing have addressed addiction issues, or see them for what they are. idk for sure
12! I was 12, and nobody should have been molesting me. What offensive nerve! How dare they, yes, they...Bob and John. Inner child quite conflicted, I'm an idiot and it is my fault. Mom. I'm sorry
Suberb