Love bombing: avoidant vs. narcissist

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  • เผยแพร่เมื่อ 29 ต.ค. 2024

ความคิดเห็น • 22

  • @petitcoeur-q6r
    @petitcoeur-q6r 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +19

    So basically an avoidant didn’t love you. They thought it was love during the lovebombing stage. I’ve come to realise it’s just limerence and infatuation with them. Both narcs and avoidants are toxic so best to run from them. They destroy whatever self worth you have for yourself and the road to recovery is long. I’m trying to recover from the second discard and ghosting from an avoidant. Now they decided to crumb me. I don’t accept crumbs I deserve the whole loaf so I’m doing what they are doing - distancing and trying to detach from them.

    • @MikeS-r2p
      @MikeS-r2p 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +4

      Perhaps heal yourself too. Secure people don't continually involve themselves with people who are unhealthy.

    • @petitcoeur-q6r
      @petitcoeur-q6r 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@MikeS-r2p yes I’m trying to heal from them. Started therapy to progress on this.

    • @MikeS-r2p
      @MikeS-r2p 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      @@petitcoeur-q6r not everyone is a good fit for avoidants. I can date them just fine, but I can't date anxious people. It's just preference really. Good luck with the healing. 🤟

  • @promo130
    @promo130 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +12

    Lots of narcs also have avoidant attachment styles. Best to run for the hills in both cases, trust me

  • @A23-e9d
    @A23-e9d 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +29

    This might seem controversial but in my view DA discards can be worse. The narcissist will love bomb devalue discard and hoover - textbook. DA, love bomb and then devalue and discard simulateneously.. you cannot see it coming at all! And they seem so genuine unlike most narcs. It is absolutely devastating.

    • @Nata-l4b
      @Nata-l4b 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

      I totally agree!

  • @SuperStella1111
    @SuperStella1111 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +13

    They’re just narcs. If it looks, quacks and waddles like a narc, it’s a narc.

    • @graceakata
      @graceakata 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

      Yes I agree with you, avoidant attachment style is just a way to sugarcoat narcissism. Period!

  • @user-vs5vg3lw2l
    @user-vs5vg3lw2l 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +7

    Was in an abusive relationship with a narcissist. Then my next actual relationship after that I believe that they were an avoidant. Since the discard I’ve been watching lots of these videos. The lovebombing and intimacy was very intense throughout the relationship. He even told me “he loved me to the moon and back” on the morning of the day of the breakup.I think he may be an avoidant as he seemed emotionally repressed/ unavailable. When talking to him it was lots of humor, but nothing or emotionally intelligent or deep, just surface level. Almost like a human shell. He was Hyper focused on independence, hobbies, and work. I know this person had a rough childhood with minimal emotional expression. He was also Diagnosed with ADHD, which I read can be known to co-occur with Avoidant Attachment Syndrome. What is really bothering me, is the being blocked on everything with no explanation or a vague one. It seemed to come out of nowhere and I didn’t expect it at all..I also found out that he was posting social media videos about his hobbies on the day of the breakup. That day he knew I had to go get treatment because of how the suddenness of the breakup and his demeanor impacted me. It really made me angry to see him posting away on social media, painting little toys to happy music. While simultaneously ignoring my pleas and texts for a better explanation on the breakup. I read that this is what avoidants do. They distract themselves with hobbies when they’re triggered and basically deactivate emotion. I have a feeling he will understand how cruelly he treated me. When it’s been a while and he feels safe to access those emotions.

    • @Doohopper_Grandma
      @Doohopper_Grandma 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      @@user-vs5vg3lw2l Wow this sounds Familiar to my situation in so many ways. Using the Humor to pretend it’s all fun and Games.

  • @Dana-k5d1h
    @Dana-k5d1h 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Thank you very much! Again and again... I love your style to explain..Have a great week!

  • @Nata-l4b
    @Nata-l4b 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Well... Both are toxic, so in the end the effect is the same. Just run away from them when you identify one!

    • @soufia5536
      @soufia5536 หลายเดือนก่อน

      Had a relationship with an overt narcissist, stayed single for a few years then had a relationship with this guy who is a dismissive avoidant. Loved bombed me , bread crumbed me
      Told him at the end that he was a narc ,maybe I was wrong but at the end he was cold and ghosted me so I figured he was cruel and heartless since he can not even have a closure talk , basic respect

  • @dannycolwell8028
    @dannycolwell8028 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +2

    Either A) she’s just not that into me or B) she’s pulling away because I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes. But we’ve barely spoken for a week.

    • @MedusasSnakePit
      @MedusasSnakePit 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      That's not a good sign I'm sorry

  • @dallo6196
    @dallo6196 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +3

    I dunno if my ex was a narcissist or not but from your videos she sure does seem like it was so loving in the beginning but then cold with holding sex and intimacy and trying to pick a fight and blame me then would say your not coming on vacation with her and her kids can’t have a relationship with that kind of behaviour

  • @rebeccagibb5962
    @rebeccagibb5962 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    Thanks!

  • @NS-uq9st
    @NS-uq9st 2 หลายเดือนก่อน +1

    Can u make a video about the topic when a DA or FDA discards you for monkey branching with a Covert narcissistic women..how it turns out when they monkey branching over narcissistic women

    • @Nyenae
      @Nyenae 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

      This is such a crazy co-incidence, my FA ex met a stripper (at her strip club) one week after we were last intimate and he started pursuing her. Now things went crazy fast between them, their third 'date' was an overseas trip for her friends bday party (2 weeks of dating at this point), he committed to her in 4-5 weeks (took 15 months for me...) at about 5 weeks she's inviting him to a friends wedding with an overnight stay at a 5 star hotel. Last week she got to meet his mom (I never did). And now for his birthday next week, she's taking him on a 3-day SAFARI of all things (he's turning 38 so no milestone bday) and they have been dating LESS THAN THREE MONTHS. And I know she's not rich, even though strippers make decent money.
      And I can't help but think... What? Avoidants are supposedly quick to commit to toxic partners... but maybe he is just that into her? (But then again, he's an FA so rather emotionally closed off...) But things are moving crazy fast and it does seem like she is love bombing him hard, rushing to commitment and doing these extravagant lavish things. On the flipside, he's putting zero effort into the connection, he doesn't take her out on dates. She always just comes over, they just fuck, sleep, eat, get drunk. (We live together so I've been observing some of this).
      Long story short, I've been thinking, could she be a covert narcissist? Is she anxious preoccupied (they can love bomb too) or another avoidant? Doesn't really serve me to think about it, but can't help but wonder! Either way, the rushed nature of the relationship is massive red flag and I just assume it will blow up just as fast
      🤷‍♀

  • @暗香晚风
    @暗香晚风 2 หลายเดือนก่อน

    👍🙏