I just broke off a two week long fling because of this and I feel like I’ve been set free. He came on SO quick and intense. And became so possessive after just two dates. Was already asking me about ring sizes, offering to let me use his spare Jeep whenever I wanted, NON STOP texting. When I said I needed to set boundaries and needed space away from him and my phone, he would send rapid fire texts back to back telling me to “stop putting up walls”, and “let yourself be open to love”. I knew it was time to officially tell him we were done when I got home from work yesterday evening and the second I parked my car in the garage, he called me, asking me if I was home from work. I said I was and wanted to go inside to get undressed, make some dinner and relax… and he would NOT let me get off the phone. Not in an aggressive way, but he just kept making excuses to keep me on the phone….until I finally interrupted him and basically said “I’m hanging up the phone, going inside and putting it down for a while til I get situated and you need to deal with that”. I keep going back and forth between thinking I wanted a man to treat me with affection but also realizing it was an unhealthy level. Like stalker level.
Thank you for sharing this, because I'm 3 weeks into a situation and I'm confused as hell! I don't know what's happening! You've just described everything I'm experiencing. He's constantly telling me he can't wait to get me pregnant this year& that we'll have a happy accident, he's demanding sexy videos when I've just logged on to work at 9am, when I say I'm not comfortable he tells me I'm holding back & shouldn't as my walls should be coming down by now (this was in week 1!!), he's moody if I say I'm going to watch a TV show & will text him after. When I tried to set boundaries he told me "but I'm sure that you're my forever after" to make me do what he wanted. Now I've told him I didn't like something he did it's the silent treatment!! I'm so glad you got out of your situation, it's time to leave mine.
Yes, I lasted 16 days before I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him that my attraction for him had died. He did not take it well and tried to sell me the tickets to a concert he booked - and then blocked me for a month. He tried to make a return after that, I told him to leave it alone.
Wow! I definitely experienced this. It’s sad because I feel like he’s a good person, who experienced horrible childhood trauma that has his brain and emotions all warped! Definitely love bombed! Early on I asked for the excessive compliments to slow down and he got upset and asked why I have a hard time accepting complements…. Like sir, I definitely do not! It’s just that hearing how “perfect” I am is creepy af! There is no such thing as balance or moderation in the mind of these people. So asking them to minimize, slow down, or stop creates chaos in their own mind and pisses them off. Sadly, I do not believe they can be in healthy relationships. I’m so glad I have the self awareness and knowledge about mental health. After a month, I walked away. No one gets to cross my boundaries or say I’m wrong for having them. It’s true that a huge weight gets lifted after leaving these situations. Trying to always explain why their behavior was uncomfortable was soooo damn exhausting!!!
@@cammyt9030 hi Cammy, this has literally just happened to me and I'm one week free from him.. met this guy 3 weeks ago and he told me he loved me second date in, I was confused and it felt too quick. Basically my little girl didn't like him, as he resented her needing my attention. I told him I had too many personal problems to continue with it. I am not seeing him again. You need to get out girl. It's not normal behaviour. I'm happier without him and it's was only with him 3 weeks. ❤❤❤
After one month of dating I was meeting his children and entire family. Month two he took me on a weeks vacation to Mexico. Month three he walked me into a jewelry store for an engagement ring. Month four I relocated to another state and moved in with him... after I moved in with him his mask starting slipping. After he started to see he could not control me, the discard happened. He broke up with me and threw me out of our house (a city where I did not know anyone). Needless to say, I have learned so much from this experience and am continuing to heal through the narcissist abuse. My intuition was telling me things were not right for a long time, please listen to your body!
Oh how many times those intuition feelings are ignored, including myself. You want so badly to believe that it's real, he's different...but surprise, you just got played!🎉 Live & learn & live & learn some more!😂
But if he looked like Henry Cavill or some other hunk you wouldn't care. I really think this is nothing more than the amount of affection not aligning with a woman's level of desire for the man.
I just broke it off with someone because I felt I was being love bombed. What works for me is listening and not making them feel judged. If you listen close enough, people will tell you exactly who they are ❤
It’s a lesson for me to keep that in mind in the future, you are certainly right - listen closely to them and they tell you who they are. But I also think to look at their actions too and see if they are consistent with what they say. Actions speak louder than words at times. People can be masters of flattery and the spoken word but their actions can betray them when they don’t mean something.
In the beginning my boyfriend was doing all these amazing things for 3 months. But after that everything just stopped. He was acting strange and took away intimacy out of nowhere. He was really good at love bombing and use to say "Your going to be my wife" over and over. Glad the relationship is finally over.
I've noticed, that most narcissists, are actually insecure people that need validation from others. So, when you consider yourself insecure and anxious, chances are, others will perceive you as a manipulative narcisist. Both can be true at the same time from my experience. You wouldn't be so susceptible to love bombing, otherwise. The problem is, you might end up, mutually looking for validation in the other, without actually feeling it.
Just got out of a relationship with someone who did this to me, she aggressively pursued me and wanted to move fast, her being a pretty girl I gave in and quickly fell for her, at first everything was great, then suddenly her behavior shifted, she started being dodgy with me, would go days with no communication and would act like nothing happened when we would speak or meet again. I suspected there were other guys potentially involved but kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. I kept sensing her drift further and further from me but she kept insisting we were fine and she just wanted to slow down. Finally she admitted that in her own words "I wasn't the only player in the game", I felt gutted. Even though we were only together a short while it felt a lot longer, we told each other almost everything about ourselves, had almost everything in common as well, music, movies, etc... She intensely declared things to me early on almost as if she desperately wanted me to believe what she was saying. I won't lie I really miss her, but as I said to her in return "I'm not going to be just another player in the game".
Almost everything in common Probably she lied about all, because in order to make you believed that she is your soulmate, she need to have similar things that you like
Its been 7 months since our last communication, since then I've lost weight, got a better job and found a new girl. I'll be honest I still sometimes think of the other girl and I have snooped on her socials from time to time just out of curiosity and have seen her change her "in a relationship" status 3 times. I'm like good lord she's still up to her same bs, can't help but feel bad for her other "victims".@@benf1111
You are so right. I have just exited a 5 year relationship in which I was LOVE BOMBED. I went through all the stages of the narcissistic cycle but was unaware at the time. These people are rodents.
I just ended a relationship 5 days ago and one of the biggest things was feeling suffocated with love bombing. It was not genuine and it felt forced, how much we "connected" him laughing and holding me randomly. Paying bills and buying expensive things over and over again. And the moment there was an issue or he didn't get what he wanted he would pout and shut down. Full on hurt puppy with mumbling and silent treatment. I found this video after the break up and you are outlining my ex, I hope the right people find your video so notice the red flags I didn't.
Thank you . This is what i needed somone i havent even met in peraon 1 week said happy anniversary today 😂😂😂love bombing , tlling about eings nad all i e been having a heasache all week . Si gle 3 years nah . Thank for your comment . ❤❤❤🎉
They have a way of having you skip through the real process of dating by not allowing you to uphold your boundaries They’ll say things like “you’re cold” Or if you put down one boundary they’ll punish you by putting up several unreasonable ones. It’s a fuckin game to them. To one up you - instead of just respecting you.
@@rachelcarvell4831 This very thing happened to me! Second date he told me that he loved me. Third date I was “his everything” and asked me to marry him. He started showing up at my house uninvited. Whenever I told him that I couldn’t see him on certain days because I have responsibilities, he would text-bomb me all day long. I asked for us to slow down and his response to that was to love-bomb me on full blast. I ended it when he TOLD me that he was giving his daughter his house as a wedding gift and that he would be moving in with me! Looking back, I missed a HUGE red flag…it suddenly occurred to me that he never asked me one question about myself or my life or my family or my dreams or my wishes! I have recently began chatting with someone else on a dating app, and as of yet, that guy hasn’t asked me one single question about myself either. So my radar has been activated! Fool me once, shame on you. Get fooled twice…shame on me!
I can safely say that many of us would never be with certain people if we had taken more time to get to know them. Love bombing can be very destructive. It can leave you reeling from its effects. One time, you’ll be on an emotional high and the next moment, you’re at the bottom of a deep, dark hole. We must know that genuine love is by no means rushed. If someone is too quick with us, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we set boundaries for ourselves from very early on. Because we are the ones that have to pay attention to how people are treating us, we must remain vigilant and keep focused, as it can be very easy to loose ourselves in the heat of things. This is especially true if we may be in a vulnerable situation where we just came out of a breakup, the loss of a loved one or recovering from an illness. Thanks for sharing this video with us. ❤❤❤
Omg this just happened to me. I was so confused as to why this guy switched up on me out of no where. It literally felt like I had met my soulmate lmao an I’m mad I fell for it all I can do is laugh. He went from talking with me about our future to telling me he didn’t see us going far.
Babe?! I know the struggle, this happened this week to me ! Lol i neva thought this would happen to me neither! And u want to believe it of course ! As women we want that fairy tale !!! This dude , told me “i love u , 5 min into dinner talking about moving in together . Showing me his bank account online 😂😂😂😂 than next day the coward txt me “I jus dont have feelings for u , butttt we can b friends?! Lmaooooooo FRIENDS?!?$ guyyyy?! My friends do nottttt treat me this insane ! Lol he even told me his x wife had a restraining order on him & also he couldnt see his kids . Of course “it was alllll her fault “ Come to find out , he beat her in front of kids !!!! God , did us a SOLID favor baby !!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I will say , im scared shitless to date rn lmaoooo ❤❤❤ xx much love mama
I get the same pattern of love bombing. They love that I'm a nerdy Star Wars geek and tens to go all in, making promises and telling me I was the nerd they're been looking for. It is nearly every man I date. I always remind them that I am NOT a character in a show, I am not their Manic Pixie Dream Girl. But, like a well scripted saga, they withdraw and devalue after finding something they don't like about me.
It took me over 20 years to understand this cycle. I agree maintain who you are, and like the comment beneath said they tell you who they are. I am not a needy person so it does not quite have the same affect, It doesn't just happen in romantic relationships.
I’m two weeks into a relationship like this 😩 as much as I want to believe it’s genuine I can’t shake the fear that I’m being love bombed. Leaving this comment here so I can see the exact moment I made either the best or the worst decision of my life 😢
A girl with whom I had been in relationship for 4years. She totally used me for her personal benifits and at first she did love bombing a lot and many more fake things and made me to believe that she loved me and she even many times told this word that 'she couldn't live without me' and at same it never seemed that she couldn't live without me. She cut down me from her life by blocking me. Thank God she left me(although I lost 4years in a wrong and fake relationship) but God saved me from a dangerous person❤️🙏🏻🔱
It’s funny bc “love bombing” is a fancy phase for not having discernment, no boundaries, being too vulnerable, lack of communication and lack of accountability for not taking the time to truly get to know the person. And what the situation becomes is a cycle of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I was in a Situation she described bc the lack of. And it came down to not knowing what I truly wanted, so I was able to be manipulated into his fantasy of what we should be. I think the first person you need to be honest with is yourself about what you want before you even date, so that you can attract that. And to not rush the early stage bc that’s where the foundation is built and you can catch the red flags. Also listen! Listen! Listen! Ppl tell on themselves and don’t even know it! Ppl want to be in love so bad, I get it, I want it too but we have to guard our hearts with boundaries and discernment. And that’s just what it is.
@@blondiekapowsksi All Facts! And you’re speaking from a perspective of someone that’s been through it I knew what I wanted just didn’t know the person I was dealing with
It’s crazy cause I’ve been dealing with abuse and love bombing for over 6 years. The relationship started when I was 15 so I was a kid. It feels terrible knowing I didn’t catch on when I was younger and let myself go through that. It’s definitely affected me mentally.
Only wish I had this information/awareness 35+ years ago when I was love-bombed for the entire time before we got engaged, then during our engagement, I saw a bunch of red flags which, of course, I ignored prior to our wedding day. And yessss, he was and still is a total and complete narcissist and everything is still always all my fault. Finally gathered the courage I needed to divorce him in 2007, but we're still tied together/having to deal with each other due to our youngest being autistic and we share him 50/50. Trying to co-parent with him all these years has been a nightmare. He met & love-bombed wife #2 a few weeks after our divorce was finalized. They were married after only 6 months together. I wanted to warn her, but she hated me from all the lies he told her about me so I didn't waste my breath. She lasted 4 years total before leaving him & moving back to Florida (and we live in cold Wisconsin...lol). Thank GOD they never had any kids together!!!!!! We had 3 together. I hope your video will help warn others so they won't have to go through the same hurt, turmoil, anguish, disappointment and overall heartache I and others have gone through which STARTED WITH LOVE BOMBING...💔
@@natural3362 Absolutely! I knew mine was weird (dating app) when he wanted me to meet him that very day. I told him that I would like to get to know him better first. He didn’t listen. I eventually met him and within 3 days (not three dates…3days!) he TELLS me that he is moving in with me. I should have listened to my instincts because I was correct! He was desperate and I think that he would have settled for anyone who would have him. No one falls in love faster than someone who needs a place to live! LOL! FunnyNotFunny!
This includes friends to. Especially neighbors who live close and are constantly trying to love bomb you with gifts. Be careful who you allow in your life and your home. Narcissists are hard to get rid of. ❤️🖤❤️
Church's do it to you too, almost to the point of bullying....don't get me started on the Senior Centers "we need volunteer's" while the employees sit on their butts and you run the art program.....they are everywhere........
I was love bombed recently. He made me feel like I was worth a million bucks. He wanted to be in a committed relationship on our first date. I said yes and now I regret it all. He hurt me a lot. In the beginning I noticed that he never ever said the wrong thing. I couldn't understand how he could always say the right thing. I ignored that red flag. He also reminded me of my sister who is a chronic liar. I ignored that too. After 3 months he started gaslighting me. Then he rejected me.
After reading some of the stories in the comments. I don't feel so bad about mines. I got out within 1 month and 8 days. This guy showered me with gifts and dinner dates for a whole month. He even paid my for my car insurance and new tags. Everytime I went out with him, he would buy me eveything that I wanted, dresses, shoes, purfume and anything else that I need or wanted but by the end of the month I noticed that out of nowhere he would start picking arguments with me. Then once he got me upset he would take me out to eat and buy me more gifts to make up for it. He had a nice house and a good job. He took care of his place and his place was pretty clean. He bought me some hygiene products to keep at his house. Like if I needed to take a shower I could have a body wash to shower with and some deoderant to put on. He said that my house was his house and that I was at home. He didn't have any kids either which was a big plus for me. He Bragged on how good of a man that he was and his friends and his mom said that he was a good man as well. I met his friends and his mom and he wanted me to go to church every sunday with him but I didn't go because I felt like he was moving way too fast which he was. He would wash my car, put oil in it, clean it out, and even bought accessories for my car so that it would smell good and said that he was looking out for my safety. We was spending so much time together. Then things took a drastic turn. He would do the most creapiest things like hang outside his house while leaving his door wide open at 2a.m. in the morning and he would be at the back of the house. I got scared, comfronted him about his behavior and left. I talk to him about how I didn't approve of his behavior and that I didn't feel safe at his house anymore. He apologized and said that that will never happen again. I was done with him but I decided to give him another chance. The love bombing happened again. He started cooking for me. His phone had a lock code on it and it started fading out and he brought it to me to show me how it was going out. I told him let me back up your contacts so that you want lose them. He gave it to me and I went through his phone and found out that he was talking to multiple women. I comfronted him about it and ended things on the spot. Ladies never ignore your intuition. If something in your mind is telling you that something is not right 9 times out of 10 something is not right. I'm glad that I didn't get invested into a relationship with him. He has never been over my house. It's better to be safe then sorry.
Whoa...this has got me creeped out. Its been 2 mos. Shower gel, deoderant, toothbrush...says "my house is your house", told me he was in love with me 3 wks after 1st date. The 2am outback in the dark just like you said!!...omg. Same thing here! Has spent over 20 grand on me and Im so stressed over it I cant function. Tells me Im his "wife" not a girlfriend. I havent ended it yet. Wish me luck!!
Hi I so appreciate this video and as well you are so calm and nice to talk to. I mean, you can't hear me but you're helping me work up my courage to find a therapist
I would say when you meet someone dont take anything from them, have no obligation to them, when they say I love you and its only a month in, say I like you lot, never ever say you love someone unless you really from the bottom of your heart mean it. Have integrity and stay true to your self. When they have a problem that needs fixing mentally say to yourself, its not my problem. If you want to help them, do it because you want to not because you are being manipulated into it. Learn about manipulation, some behaviours are so sneaky you dont really recognise it as manipulation. Finally know how to get out of the relationship without pissing them off. They are so good at reading you they will probably break it off before you do to save themselves ego injury. You will probably be wondering if he is a narc, at the end of the day it doesnt matter if he is or not. Dont think about him, think about you and how you feel around this person. Sometimes you have to tihnk of you first. Also think about things they do - does it benefit them? My guy would buy flowers for me when he went away for work. Weird, why not buy them when he got back from work? Because he wanted to leave a reminder for me so I would think about him when he wasnt there. The flowers wernt for me, they were for him.
My co worker tried to love bomb me but I already knew what's going on and stayed unbothered . I knew exactly steps he will take. I was strong like a Pilar. His lb never worked .
Wow! I never thought of it as love banning but I was with a guy and he was doing all kinds of things for me: fixed a fence by digging up like 6 posts and recementing them, put in a ton of new lights that I didn’t even ask for, pawer washed my house and more. Wanted to take me dancing and bought me anything I laid eyes on and said I liked. It was strange to me…the final thing was when I didn’t feel well and was home from work and he showed up announced with chicken soup and sandwiches. I had wanted to just be by myself. I broke it off with him feeling guilty that he did so many things for me but reminded myself I hadn’t asked him to do any of them! So I can’t say he was a narcissist, but maybe. I just felt like I was waiting for something bad to happen and honestly wasn’t super attracted to him anyway. Maybe I dodged a bullet!
It's called being a man and doing things for women! Most likely you somehow sent signals to this poor guy and he wanted to so nice things for a friend in need. Men are stupid like this. I hope he finds an attractive nice lady who appreciates a nice man.
i am still going though this. he won’t leave me alone. i blocked him on everything. i had no idea what the cycle was just knew something was off but couldn’t stop it. now i have kicked him out and hopefully on the way to healing. thank you for posting this. i get it now.
I looked up what is "Love Bombing" on TH-cam because I just matched with a guy last Tuesday on Bumble... By Thursday, I felt like something seemed strange-- all these texts about all these "wonderful qualities" he can offer me & texts sounding like he was ready to be in a relationship with me-- after just 2 phone conversations on Wednesday & we NEVER even met each other yet?!!! Once I really thought about it later on, I realized he didn't even ask me very many questions about myself, so how can he be so "crazy" about me that fast, right??? I am always excited with a new match, where it might lead, but someone acting like they're ready to be in a relationship so badly is a turn off, the guy comes off as "desperate" which I KNOW isn't a good sign!!!! 😟
Just went though this -love bombing non stop for 3-4 months wanted to get serious after dealing with all his drama -I wasn’t ready but once I matched the energy the energy shifted / he ghosted me out of nowhere
I went on a date two days ago with a guy and he decided by the end of the date that I should only date him. I told him no and that I want to date multiple people. He got very upset and told me that dating multiple people isn’t healthy. I’d never had someone come on so strong! It was weird and definitely uncomfortable. He seemed like a perfect match for me but the immediate need to try and lock me down after being around me for four hours turned me off!
I don’t believe he was necessarily love bombing you tho he was just probably a weird guy, love bombing mostly consists of being heavily manipulated, a bunch of gifts and making you feel like they’re the greatest person on earth while also making you feel like you’re the greatest person on earth, doing things for you that people normally do for you after years of being in love, they move very fast and do all of these things in the very beginning, my ex bought me a Mercedes our first time sitting at a restaurant together as well as thousands and thousands of dollars and til this day still ask me if I need money and if so all I had to do is ask, the car is just one of the gifts there ain’t enough time or space to mention everything she’s given me!
Met this person and if they don’t hear from me for a day they keep saying they miss me. Very annoying and I just addressed it. They are a friend. 😑 creepy AF considering my situation.
I broke up with him 3 weeks ago he had made me feel so special and told me everything I wanted to hear, so many I love you and descriptions on why and just so much caring at first. But than he started being mean, and cruel to me, and my feelings, he had treated me so good and sweetly and than just switched up so fast and he was hurting me and making me sob everyday. He began talking shit about me and the things he used to say he loved about me, I couldn’t take that disrespect and I couldn’t do it mentally anymore so I broke up with him. He had talked about breaking up with me to people so I did it first. I helped myself, and it was so fucking hard and I’m still hurting because of the betrayal and deception. It’s been 3 weeks and he’s already gotten a new girl. Men can be so fucked up. But I know I’m too good for him
Lol I was afraid this was happening with my new gf, because we became highly enamoured with each other within weeks.... But when it came to our first "fight" , she sensed I was off. I was surprised someone picked up on my way so quickly, I admitted what I didn't like, she admitted if it were her she wouldn't like it either. She apologized, I explain that perhaps I wouldn't have been that upset but it reminded me of a past trauma, she further expressed that she understood and that she's basically the same way. I expressed that my usual way of dealing with it would have been to say nothing and maybe being it up "later..." Anyway, LSS, I hadn't been with someone so expressive and committed to being respectful and looking to figure things out in a while
Hi - thank you! I have someone who came in strong… said he wanted to move to commitment… and we hadn’t even met. Then when we were going to meet in person - he fell back and ghosted me a year. Now, back and wanting to try again…. But still I have never met him… Even if he keeps talking that we are meant to be
I went to love bombing to discard. No intermediate state. But it was not a romantic relation, but a friend we went hiking and surfing a lot together That was the strangest feeling. No explanation. It really felt like a death.
She started love bombing literally said everything you did the video. Than went so cold even though I was cautious and didn’t pursue to hard. she wasn’t over her past relationship. I ran away soon as she started playing toxic games of hot & cold.
Omg yesssss, this is accurate, he told me I love you 3 days in and he was really nice and always told me I love you and called me nice things. I would stay up late with him and he began gaslighting on day 6. He stopped being nice to me and began asking me for money here and there. He took offense to things I would say that I didn't mean to be offensive. He even started mocking me and yell at me. It left me really confused after I broke up with him.
Thank you 🤩definitely subscribed for all. Thank you for helping not only myself but others, first seen your video on a short video... Do this to ease your anxiety.. I started laughing when I did the first look to the right side and I yawned, I promise you I have not been anxious for hours ...was it the exercise or that you took me out of my funk, either way thanks. I am excited to look up some more videos, even if just 1 helped that's good enough, I believe you're a healer and so welcome here.
This sounds too familiar and I’m struggling to break away. I realized that my ex partner was so focused on wowing me instead of truly being a dedicated life partner. The gifts and gestures were nice but ultimately it’s security and longevity that I’m looking for. It’s so sad that people have this much time to waste. Manipulation at it’s finest
Got dumped last night by someone that fits the personality described in this video, though I don't see yet that she was a narcissist (but I may not be familiar enough with the term). I started getting indulgent affection a while ago, she showered gifts on me "like it's your birthday" she'd say, and made relationship demands and ultimatums. Very difficult to communicate with or work out issues. When I brought up concerns she deflected or turned tables or made brash accusations. I didn't feel comfortable with dedication without more time and effort on how we work together in-person in different situations, she didn't care. All or nothing. Decide now. Even contradicted herself after saying she's willing to discuss and is open to compromise (normal in relationships, really). I was left confused as hell and feeling very flat trying to go to sleep. I wake up today and remember the term "love bombing", and here I am feeling shocked and pointing at my phone going "Yes! That!" It's so sad 😢 I used to be like this. Now I'm experiencing it. I thought our relationship was more valuable and serious and deep than this. I just could not get to that level of depth with here without closing my eyes and giving her the wheel. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
So nice I came across this . I had the same thing TWO TIMES within 2 weeks INSANE! The first one is the most important : We met a Saturday for a hookup which I didn’t want to . I liked him so much that we didn’t do anything like that. And then he started asking lots of questions hugging me and wanted to give me personal things from him as a gift that very first time we met and then asked me if I could stay the night with him , no sex just eat together movie together and cuddle and so I did since it was my first time being love bombed then I was leaving the next day (Sunday) and he asked me to stay again and don’t leave and that I could go to work on Monday straight from his place . So I did . Then we met on Wednesday (2 days after the Monday ) and then he suddenly ghosted me no talk, NOTHING . I’m so glad I learned all this now being 27 because I’ve been in a lot of similar situations with avoidant people
3 months of love bombing 🥵…it was AMAZING thought he was the best boyfriend ever! Took me to nice restaurants, planned really thoughtful dates Cooked for me every night Joined the gym with me Offered to take my daughter to school because his sons school was close Stayed over every night. He kept saying this has to work Until I said I wanted to do something without him coming along! Or that I wanted to stay home instead of going out with him ! Then he got very angry, created a narrative of me that was completely untrue said I always complained and I was ungrateful Said I turned everything into a crisis. They he started to show who he really was, an alcoholic ! … Then when I told him my concerns he dumped me said it wouldn’t work !!! I was so confused, it took me a while to realise he was just fake, love bombed me the dopamine ran out !!! My ego was bruised but I’ve finally detached after 2 months of feeling hurt, sad, disappointed My ego was bruised !
In my own experience, he love bombed me to death for a couple of years every day with obsessive sexual texts. I never knew where it would lead to. I became addicted to him because of how he made me feel important and I thought his feelings were genuine. It ended badly, I was made a fool of. 2 years 8 months since it ended, I get flashbacks and I start to panic and break down in tears, the anger, the grief, the longing… Real love takes time to develop so you get to know the other person. What was I thinking, letting him manipulate me this way. I felt sorry for that poor bastard because I thought he was lonely and in need of someone. At the end it was me who got hurt. I can honestly say I’m not totally over him yet. I really wish I was.
Wow This person I met recently actually used their line with me ‘where have you been all my life?’ I was able to think to myself ‘I have been building an amazing life for myself- why do you ask?’ But lo and behold I fell for it and a few other lines Now I’m trying to figure out how to get out because I am hooked and it is tough when I go no contact and then start missing him… aaagghh
I watched this to see if I was being love bombed or not. I'm in a relationship with a lady. Things moved pretty fast. She likes to pleasure me, buy me gifts, tells me she loves me, wants to see me often, texts affectionate message very often, says she cannot get enough of me, likes to go out often, talks about changes to my home, wants me to meet family, etc. I will say I am buying most meals when we are out or paying for the majority of things. The relationship feels rushed, but on the other hand she is very loving with family, friends, elderly, people she does not know well - these things appear to be genuine. She becomes emotional easily and needs support often and had been in an abusive relationship previously. When she felt I was becoming distant one busy weekend she broke up, but quickly after reached out again. She had orchestrated so many things to do on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, that I was on a bit of sensory overload. She is extraordinarily perceptive and notices changes in my nature that I may not even be aware of. Our relationship is only a little over a month out. I do care for her, but something makes me question whether things are not quite right, although it is difficult to put my finger on it.
What you described here - what you’ve been going through sounds almost identical to what I have been going through. It’s eerily similar. I came onto this video to research love bombing because I was and am still afraid that was what’s happening to me. We are going through a tough breakup right now after about 6 months of dating that was very intense and loving from the start. So much is similar to what you experienced- feeling rushed, I pay for all meals, wants to do more things with my family, very intent on pleasuring me, only wants plans with me, gets frustrated when I do things with other people…. And much more stuff like that. But of course it’s nice to be loved and appreciated. But I didn’t feel like it was normal and didn’t feel sustainable. What’s your situation like now?
@@DanA-wk3sp Still unsure to be honest. Recent love letters. We had one uncomfortable discussion where she had a need that I was not fulfilling. I was uncomfortable with it. Next I saw her everything was rosy. It just doesn't seem natural to me, however I see positive traits then become confused. She sent me out of her house once then brought me back into her life. My sense is if I do not meet her needs I could be punished, but again, she can be quite rosy. Very odd! As with yourself, she is VERY intent on pleasuring me and rather good at it for that matter.
My ex wanted everything so fast. Marriage, kids. It felt so weird, it lasted 1,5 years on and off. She left me for someone else. She overlaps relationships because she can’t be single. The relationship never felt “right”. There were so many red flags. Now im meeting someone new and it feels like a regular person.
Hmm I'm experiencing the drawback. I almost never fall in love, but when I do it tends to be quite sudden and I just have so much love to give that I try to restrain it because I don't want to scare her off by moving too fast. But still she will get worried that I am lovebombing. It's a shame that those fake people make people distrusting of those who actually are genuine...
This new chick a decade younger than me in my social circle went through my kids to get to me and love bombed me really hard but I wasn't aware what that was and thought I need to give it a chance especially with kids so happy around her, but I was not attracted to her and she was pushing me to uncomfortable levels incredibly fast, even talking about babies knowing I wanted no more. I had to go full autistic and tell her I was a psychopath to break it off.
I hear your words. I went through the love bomb, drama, reconciliation twice. Its been a month now. I understand it rationally. Yet i can't help myself and get away. What if I'm mistaken and it just happened to look like that? What if things will stay good now? Can't throw that away! Yikes. I can't come to terms with it. I don't want to accept that...
@@nattam6019 I did end up leaving him. I was so dreading the "loss" of leaving him, but those past couple weeks have been blissfully mundane. And pretty much entirely devoid of stress! Hard to get back into my mindset that kept me going through all the madness, sounds ridiculous now, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Things are good now :) And you're totally right!
I'm not sure if I'm being love bombed, he texts and is just sad that I missed his text and I just tell him that I was asleep then he says "oh ok" then moves on... however he does want to get a house and wants me to be with him? Idk cause he's pretty chill when I tell him that I was busy etc.
I was just love bombed. Treated girl fantastic for one year. She bought me Hella shit. Expensive shit, then just left... Ran back to her ex husband she told me she disliked... but left me with everything she bought me.. I guess I'm glad she wasn't fucking one of my friends, [I had suspicion] by the way she went cold in the devalue stage, but turned out to be her ex husband. Im.not hurt at all, I'm glad she's happy.. how am I suppose to feel about the gifts though? I've never met a mentally ill person that treats their victims like kings then just exit stage left.
This sounds crazy 2 Me. Ok. So I just did everything right here that you have explained. I did it all and said it all because I loved her and I did feel like that. I did say the exact same everything that you are explaining. To a T. Exactly 100%. I didn't want anything from her! I wasn't trying to influence anything except for her to be with me. I just wanted to show her something different than what she had b4. Something that she made me feel. She said nobody did these things for her so i wanted to do them. Nothing different than any normal romantic relationship. Your making me feel crazy. Can I ask you this then? What if I just really loved her? I didn't want to move in or anything like what you are saying, but I did want to spend some time with her. I liked being next to her. She made me happy and she made me feel like I finally found someone who is like me and I really felt like she was my Twin Flame because we were so much alike in every way. I just learned this word over the summer when I looked up someone that is so much alike myself that I am so in love with and she feels just like the way I do. Now you say all this stuff and you're calling it abuse. How is this abuse? Aren't you supposed to do whatever you can and buy flowers and necklaces, cards and candy, and eventually a ring if it works out and lasts, but now you say all this and she did leave me and I couldn't figure out why. I heard someone say love bombing when I talked to them about what happened and why I'm so heartbroken and the lady told me that she was. Love bombing me, but now I see all this and I'm thinking about what if she seen this video and then she thought I was love bombing her. What if a man just really loves the woman and really feels the things and is trying to be honest and do everything right because he doesn't want to lose her because she is really good to him and he is really good to her and they have the best chemistry and an honest with each other bond. At least that's what I thought. So was I being abusive? Was I just a hopeless fool that lost the love of his life because of this love bombing thing is exactly how I felt and reacted. I did want something though. I just wanted to be with her. I was addicted to her touch and making love to her because she just did everything right and we just clicked together in that way and everything else went from there. Am I so wrong? Is that sp wrong? Can you help me?
Can a healthy relationship ever look like love bombing? Or does it mean that whenever you feel like you've met your "soul mate" that relationship is destined to fail? What is the difference between love bombing, and the honeymoon phase?
Love bombing is excessive praise and compliments directed at someone you have just met and don't really know , it prevents the person on the receiving end actually getting to know the person and everything seems rather rushed !
I met a woman off a dating app who I knew already and had a crush on and she started talking about fate and twin flames during the first time we hung out. I was vulnerable and thought it was real because I felt a connection with her. After I hung out with her at her house she all of a sudden got angry and started accusing me of things and then she ghosted me.
My gf cheated to what I suppose was love bombing since we were in a long distance relationship which was soon coming to an end(long distance) and i would get these comments which i thought out of place and which i didnt take into consideration because of willful blindness. But she would make these remarks that her boss would tell her that her boss would move to any place that she would go because she was very good at her job. Its been 2 months now since I ended things but I learn new things everyday. Thanks for the video!
I didn’t know what love bombing was until I was just told and it very much describes me but only thing is that I really love and care for my significant other but I can be very overwhelming and not respecting space and controlling I want to know how can I change for the better cause I want to save my current relationship.
what if a love bomber suddenly becomes a self proclaimed “life coach” and begins to solicit friends as new customers? What if this person has no qualifications in counseling or mental health Their previous 20+ years of work was for a multi level marketing scheme. This is a painful reality for me. The realization that I’ve been manipulated is hurtful.
Well, love bombing becomes only a problem if behaviour changes after a while. Some people are just gorgeous and generous and stick to this behaviour. Maybe a little less or in a more normal way but still. There are also very nice people out there ;)
Your true feelings are guidance towards the people. It shows who they truly are. Your body can sense things. For example i have one person liked me and then i feel so much anxious like butterflies in my stomach.. Then after going away from that person like not seeing her, my true emotion emerged like i feel constant repulsion towards this person.. Now i know my body finds this person repulsive.. Why do my body find it repulsive? It's because she is judging me and using me and wanting me at the same time... That's repulsive.. I blocked her.. Thank God! Thank God i blocked her
I just broke off a two week long fling because of this and I feel like I’ve been set free. He came on SO quick and intense. And became so possessive after just two dates. Was already asking me about ring sizes, offering to let me use his spare Jeep whenever I wanted, NON STOP texting. When I said I needed to set boundaries and needed space away from him and my phone, he would send rapid fire texts back to back telling me to “stop putting up walls”, and “let yourself be open to love”. I knew it was time to officially tell him we were done when I got home from work yesterday evening and the second I parked my car in the garage, he called me, asking me if I was home from work. I said I was and wanted to go inside to get undressed, make some dinner and relax… and he would NOT let me get off the phone. Not in an aggressive way, but he just kept making excuses to keep me on the phone….until I finally interrupted him and basically said “I’m hanging up the phone, going inside and putting it down for a while til I get situated and you need to deal with that”. I keep going back and forth between thinking I wanted a man to treat me with affection but also realizing it was an unhealthy level. Like stalker level.
Thank you for sharing this, because I'm 3 weeks into a situation and I'm confused as hell! I don't know what's happening! You've just described everything I'm experiencing. He's constantly telling me he can't wait to get me pregnant this year& that we'll have a happy accident, he's demanding sexy videos when I've just logged on to work at 9am, when I say I'm not comfortable he tells me I'm holding back & shouldn't as my walls should be coming down by now (this was in week 1!!), he's moody if I say I'm going to watch a TV show & will text him after. When I tried to set boundaries he told me "but I'm sure that you're my forever after" to make me do what he wanted. Now I've told him I didn't like something he did it's the silent treatment!!
I'm so glad you got out of your situation, it's time to leave mine.
Wow I’m going trough the exact same. It’s kinda scary how similar they act
Yes, I lasted 16 days before I couldn't deal with it anymore and told him that my attraction for him had died. He did not take it well and tried to sell me the tickets to a concert he booked - and then blocked me for a month. He tried to make a return after that, I told him to leave it alone.
Wow! I definitely experienced this. It’s sad because I feel like he’s a good person, who experienced horrible childhood trauma that has his brain and emotions all warped! Definitely love bombed! Early on I asked for the excessive compliments to slow down and he got upset and asked why I have a hard time accepting complements…. Like sir, I definitely do not! It’s just that hearing how “perfect” I am is creepy af! There is no such thing as balance or moderation in the mind of these people. So asking them to minimize, slow down, or stop creates chaos in their own mind and pisses them off. Sadly, I do not believe they can be in healthy relationships. I’m so glad I have the self awareness and knowledge about mental health. After a month, I walked away. No one gets to cross my boundaries or say I’m wrong for having them. It’s true that a huge weight gets lifted after leaving these situations. Trying to always explain why their behavior was uncomfortable was soooo damn exhausting!!!
@@cammyt9030 hi Cammy, this has literally just happened to me and I'm one week free from him.. met this guy 3 weeks ago and he told me he loved me second date in, I was confused and it felt too quick. Basically my little girl didn't like him, as he resented her needing my attention. I told him I had too many personal problems to continue with it. I am not seeing him again. You need to get out girl. It's not normal behaviour. I'm happier without him and it's was only with him 3 weeks. ❤❤❤
After one month of dating I was meeting his children and entire family. Month two he took me on a weeks vacation to Mexico. Month three he walked me into a jewelry store for an engagement ring. Month four I relocated to another state and moved in with him... after I moved in with him his mask starting slipping. After he started to see he could not control me, the discard happened. He broke up with me and threw me out of our house (a city where I did not know anyone). Needless to say, I have learned so much from this experience and am continuing to heal through the narcissist abuse. My intuition was telling me things were not right for a long time, please listen to your body!
Exactly same thing travel engagement ring everything fast when I challenge him he discarded me don’t worry Karma is here for us ❤to protect us
Why did you go and meet his kids?
Oh how many times those intuition feelings are ignored, including myself. You want so badly to believe that it's real, he's different...but surprise, you just got played!🎉 Live & learn & live & learn some more!😂
Sorry to hear that.
But if he looked like Henry Cavill or some other hunk you wouldn't care. I really think this is nothing more than the amount of affection not aligning with a woman's level of desire for the man.
I just broke it off with someone because I felt I was being love bombed. What works for me is listening and not making them feel judged. If you listen close enough, people will tell you exactly who they are ❤
You are gay
Yess that part!
... and they don't care who you really are.
It’s a lesson for me to keep that in mind in the future, you are certainly right - listen closely to them and they tell you who they are. But I also think to look at their actions too and see if they are consistent with what they say. Actions speak louder than words at times.
People can be masters of flattery and the spoken word but their actions can betray them when they don’t mean something.
@@petitcoeur-q6r words mean nothing. Actions mean everything. Truth is seen. Lies are heard. One truth multiple lies
i just left a year long relationship, that i should have left 6 months ago. This cycle of abuse describes that relationship perfectly.
In the beginning my boyfriend was doing all these amazing things for 3 months. But after that everything just stopped. He was acting strange and took away intimacy out of nowhere. He was really good at love bombing and use to say "Your going to be my wife" over and over. Glad the relationship is finally over.
Yup similar situation .. wife this and wife that. Maybe it’s true they felt that way or they low key needed a visa.
@@Dragonfly_magictarotjust like catfish too
Maybe he didn't see that in you by the end of three months
He told me things like “I want to do life with you” and “ if you don’t think you can have something good and real with me, please let me know.”
Yep. 7mo relationship and he went hard to get me. After 2mos I noticed a shift. I just kept hoping that guy would come back.
They become obsessed possessive controlling and will manipulate you gaslight you and drive you mad 😡 😭 run 🏃♀️ for your life!!!
I am running ...... nooe not today .
Exactly I agree word to word 😮
I've noticed, that most narcissists, are actually insecure people that need validation from others.
So, when you consider yourself insecure and anxious, chances are, others will perceive you as a manipulative narcisist.
Both can be true at the same time from my experience.
You wouldn't be so susceptible to love bombing, otherwise.
The problem is, you might end up, mutually looking for validation in the other,
without actually feeling it.
Not to mention, being considered "manipulative" is serious. I feel like it's way less common to be manipulative than insecure and anxious.
Wow this is absolutely invaluable. So spot on. I wish I was aware of all this before my last relationship. I'd have run a mile early on.
Just got out of a relationship with someone who did this to me, she aggressively pursued me and wanted to move fast, her being a pretty girl I gave in and quickly fell for her, at first everything was great, then suddenly her behavior shifted, she started being dodgy with me, would go days with no communication and would act like nothing happened when we would speak or meet again. I suspected there were other guys potentially involved but kept giving her the benefit of the doubt. I kept sensing her drift further and further from me but she kept insisting we were fine and she just wanted to slow down. Finally she admitted that in her own words "I wasn't the only player in the game", I felt gutted. Even though we were only together a short while it felt a lot longer, we told each other almost everything about ourselves, had almost everything in common as well, music, movies, etc... She intensely declared things to me early on almost as if she desperately wanted me to believe what she was saying. I won't lie I really miss her, but as I said to her in return "I'm not going to be just another player in the game".
Almost everything in common
Probably she lied about all, because in order to make you believed that she is your soulmate, she need to have similar things that you like
I feel like I could've written this. You're not alone.
Its been 7 months since our last communication, since then I've lost weight, got a better job and found a new girl. I'll be honest I still sometimes think of the other girl and I have snooped on her socials from time to time just out of curiosity and have seen her change her "in a relationship" status 3 times. I'm like good lord she's still up to her same bs, can't help but feel bad for her other "victims".@@benf1111
What do you do if you are the love bomber??
@@marthamontelongo5286 Get help and seriously evaluate what they are doing to others
Time reveals all things
You are so right. I have just exited a 5 year relationship in which I was LOVE BOMBED. I went through all the stages of the narcissistic cycle but was unaware at the time. These people are rodents.
I just ended a relationship 5 days ago and one of the biggest things was feeling suffocated with love bombing. It was not genuine and it felt forced, how much we "connected" him laughing and holding me randomly. Paying bills and buying expensive things over and over again. And the moment there was an issue or he didn't get what he wanted he would pout and shut down. Full on hurt puppy with mumbling and silent treatment. I found this video after the break up and you are outlining my ex, I hope the right people find your video so notice the red flags I didn't.
Thank you . This is what i needed somone i havent even met in peraon 1 week said happy anniversary today 😂😂😂love bombing , tlling about eings nad all i e been having a heasache all week . Si gle 3 years nah . Thank for your comment . ❤❤❤🎉
They have a way of having you skip through the real process of dating by not allowing you to uphold your boundaries
They’ll say things like “you’re cold”
Or if you put down one boundary they’ll punish you by putting up several unreasonable ones. It’s a fuckin game to them. To one up you - instead of just respecting you.
@@rachelcarvell4831 This very thing happened to me! Second date he told me that he loved me. Third date I was “his everything” and asked me to marry him. He started showing up at my house uninvited. Whenever I told him that I couldn’t see him on certain days because I have responsibilities, he would text-bomb me all day long. I asked for us to slow down and his response to that was to love-bomb me on full blast. I ended it when he TOLD me that he was giving his daughter his house as a wedding gift and that he would be moving in with me! Looking back, I missed a HUGE red flag…it suddenly occurred to me that he never asked me one question about myself or my life or my family or my dreams or my wishes! I have recently began chatting with someone else on a dating app, and as of yet, that guy hasn’t asked me one single question about myself either. So my radar has been activated! Fool me once, shame on you. Get fooled twice…shame on me!
I can safely say that many of us would never be with certain people if we had taken more time to get to know them. Love bombing can be very destructive. It can leave you reeling from its effects. One time, you’ll be on an emotional high and the next moment, you’re at the bottom of a deep, dark hole. We must know that genuine love is by no means rushed. If someone is too quick with us, it’s our responsibility to ensure that we set boundaries for ourselves from very early on. Because we are the ones that have to pay attention to how people are treating us, we must remain vigilant and keep focused, as it can be very easy to loose ourselves in the heat of things. This is especially true if we may be in a vulnerable situation where we just came out of a breakup, the loss of a loved one or recovering from an illness. Thanks for sharing this video with us. ❤❤❤
This is so painful by far the worst break up ever was with a love bomber…. The psychological damage that comes from this …
Omg this just happened to me. I was so confused as to why this guy switched up on me out of no where. It literally felt like I had met my soulmate lmao an I’m mad I fell for it all I can do is laugh. He went from talking with me about our future to telling me he didn’t see us going far.
honesty is key; at least he was honest and saw it going nowhere. may be you did something to piss him off
Babe?! I know the struggle, this happened this week to me ! Lol i neva thought this would happen to me neither! And u want to believe it of course ! As women we want that fairy tale !!! This dude , told me “i love u , 5 min into dinner talking about moving in together . Showing me his bank account online 😂😂😂😂 than next day the coward txt me “I jus dont have feelings for u , butttt we can b friends?! Lmaooooooo FRIENDS?!?$ guyyyy?! My friends do nottttt treat me this insane ! Lol he even told me his x wife had a restraining order on him & also he couldnt see his kids . Of course “it was alllll her fault “ Come to find out , he beat her in front of kids !!!! God , did us a SOLID favor baby !!!!! ❤❤❤❤❤ I will say , im scared shitless to date rn lmaoooo ❤❤❤ xx much love mama
@@dzhero3752nah it was not her , this guy is a sick narcissist… That is NOTTTT any fault of her own …. Are you even listening to this video???? 🤯🤦🏻♀️
I get the same pattern of love bombing. They love that I'm a nerdy Star Wars geek and tens to go all in, making promises and telling me I was the nerd they're been looking for. It is nearly every man I date. I always remind them that I am NOT a character in a show, I am not their Manic Pixie Dream Girl. But, like a well scripted saga, they withdraw and devalue after finding something they don't like about me.
It took me over 20 years to understand this cycle. I agree maintain who you are, and like the comment beneath said they tell you who they are. I am not a needy person so it does not quite have the same affect, It doesn't just happen in romantic relationships.
I’m two weeks into a relationship like this 😩 as much as I want to believe it’s genuine I can’t shake the fear that I’m being love bombed. Leaving this comment here so I can see the exact moment I made either the best or the worst decision of my life 😢
A girl with whom I had been in relationship for 4years. She totally used me for her personal benifits and at first she did love bombing a lot and many more fake things and made me to believe that she loved me and she even many times told this word that 'she couldn't live without me' and at same it never seemed that she couldn't live without me. She cut down me from her life by blocking me. Thank God she left me(although I lost 4years in a wrong and fake relationship) but God saved me from a dangerous person❤️🙏🏻🔱
How do people like you get manipulated so easily?
Don't you establish strong boundaries??
It’s funny bc “love bombing” is a fancy phase for not having discernment, no boundaries, being too vulnerable, lack of communication and lack of accountability for not taking the time to truly get to know the person. And what the situation becomes is a cycle of insanity, doing the same thing and expecting a different result. I was in a Situation she described bc the lack of. And it came down to not knowing what I truly wanted, so I was able to be manipulated into his fantasy of what we should be. I think the first person you need to be honest with is yourself about what you want before you even date, so that you can attract that. And to not rush the early stage bc that’s where the foundation is built and you can catch the red flags. Also listen! Listen! Listen! Ppl tell on themselves and don’t even know it! Ppl want to be in love so bad, I get it, I want it too but we have to guard our hearts with boundaries and discernment. And that’s just what it is.
@@blondiekapowsksi All Facts! And you’re speaking from a perspective of someone that’s been through it I knew what I wanted just didn’t know the person I was dealing with
This was so good because not only did you inform but you also are giving us tools ⚒️ to have a healthy relationship
yes the tools is the second theres any problem leave him.... and them come to the internet saying weres the good men.....
@@thepro08 not everyone will endure the ups and downs. And some folks are just abusive period. Good luck!
It’s crazy cause I’ve been dealing with abuse and love bombing for over 6 years. The relationship started when I was 15 so I was a kid. It feels terrible knowing I didn’t catch on when I was younger and let myself go through that. It’s definitely affected me mentally.
None of us were educated on this and we should be, women ruin their lives because we are easy prey
You didn't let yourself go through that ♡ It wasn't your fault.
Only wish I had this information/awareness 35+ years ago when I was love-bombed for the entire time before we got engaged, then during our engagement, I saw a bunch of red flags which, of course, I ignored prior to our wedding day. And yessss, he was and still is a total and complete narcissist and everything is still always all my fault. Finally gathered the courage I needed to divorce him in 2007, but we're still tied together/having to deal with each other due to our youngest being autistic and we share him 50/50. Trying to co-parent with him all these years has been a nightmare. He met & love-bombed wife #2 a few weeks after our divorce was finalized. They were married after only 6 months together. I wanted to warn her, but she hated me from all the lies he told her about me so I didn't waste my breath. She lasted 4 years total before leaving him & moving back to Florida (and we live in cold Wisconsin...lol). Thank GOD they never had any kids together!!!!!! We had 3 together. I hope your video will help warn others so they won't have to go through the same hurt, turmoil, anguish, disappointment and overall heartache I and others have gone through which STARTED WITH LOVE BOMBING...💔
That's why be true to yourself. Feel all your feelings and block people based on your true feelings
@@natural3362 Absolutely! I knew mine was weird (dating app) when he wanted me to meet him that very day. I told him that I would like to get to know him better first. He didn’t listen. I eventually met him and within 3 days (not three dates…3days!) he TELLS me that he is moving in with me. I should have listened to my instincts because I was correct! He was desperate and I think that he would have settled for anyone who would have him. No one falls in love faster than someone who needs a place to live! LOL! FunnyNotFunny!
This includes friends to. Especially neighbors who live close and are constantly trying to love bomb you with gifts. Be careful who you allow in your life and your home. Narcissists are hard to get rid of. ❤️🖤❤️
Just got out of relationship of 3 years I am free never again love bombed I was lost friends etc thank you
Church's do it to you too, almost to the point of bullying....don't get me started on the Senior Centers "we need volunteer's" while the employees sit on their butts and you run the art program.....they are everywhere........
I dumped mine today I’m hoping I get away clean
I was love bombed recently. He made me feel like I was worth a million bucks. He wanted to be in a committed relationship on our first date. I said yes and now I regret it all. He hurt me a lot. In the beginning I noticed that he never ever said the wrong thing. I couldn't understand how he could always say the right thing. I ignored that red flag. He also reminded me of my sister who is a chronic liar. I ignored that too. After 3 months he started gaslighting me. Then he rejected me.
After reading some of the stories in the comments. I don't feel so bad about mines. I got out within 1 month and 8 days. This guy showered me with gifts and dinner dates for a whole month. He even paid my for my car insurance and new tags. Everytime I went out with him, he would buy me eveything that I wanted, dresses, shoes, purfume and anything else that I need or wanted but by the end of the month I noticed that out of nowhere he would start picking arguments with me. Then once he got me upset he would take me out to eat and buy me more gifts to make up for it. He had a nice house and a good job. He took care of his place and his place was pretty clean. He bought me some hygiene products to keep at his house. Like if I needed to take a shower I could have a body wash to shower with and some deoderant to put on. He said that my house was his house and that I was at home. He didn't have any kids either which was a big plus for me. He Bragged on how good of a man that he was and his friends and his mom said that he was a good man as well. I met his friends and his mom and he wanted me to go to church every sunday with him but I didn't go because I felt like he was moving way too fast which he was. He would wash my car, put oil in it, clean it out, and even bought accessories for my car so that it would smell good and said that he was looking out for my safety. We was spending so much time together. Then things took a drastic turn. He would do the most creapiest things like hang outside his house while leaving his door wide open at 2a.m. in the morning and he would be at the back of the house. I got scared, comfronted him about his behavior and left. I talk to him about how I didn't approve of his behavior and that I didn't feel safe at his house anymore. He apologized and said that that will never happen again. I was done with him but I decided to give him another chance. The love bombing happened again. He started cooking for me. His phone had a lock code on it and it started fading out and he brought it to me to show me how it was going out. I told him let me back up your contacts so that you want lose them. He gave it to me and I went through his phone and found out that he was talking to multiple women. I comfronted him about it and ended things on the spot. Ladies never ignore your intuition. If something in your mind is telling you that something is not right 9 times out of 10 something is not right. I'm glad that I didn't get invested into a relationship with him. He has never been over my house. It's better to be safe then sorry.
Whoa...this has got me creeped out. Its been 2 mos. Shower gel, deoderant, toothbrush...says "my house is your house", told me he was in love with me 3 wks after 1st date. The 2am outback in the dark just like you said!!...omg. Same thing here! Has spent over 20 grand on me and Im so stressed over it I cant function. Tells me Im his "wife" not a girlfriend. I havent ended it yet. Wish me luck!!
@@pajo6923 You may be dating the same man....
Probably goes outside to think about the woman he really loves
Hi I so appreciate this video and as well you are so calm and nice to talk to. I mean, you can't hear me but you're helping me work up my courage to find a therapist
I would say when you meet someone dont take anything from them, have no obligation to them, when they say I love you and its only a month in, say I like you lot, never ever say you love someone unless you really from the bottom of your heart mean it. Have integrity and stay true to your self. When they have a problem that needs fixing mentally say to yourself, its not my problem. If you want to help them, do it because you want to not because you are being manipulated into it.
Learn about manipulation, some behaviours are so sneaky you dont really recognise it as manipulation. Finally know how to get out of the relationship without pissing them off. They are so good at reading you they will probably break it off before you do to save themselves ego injury. You will probably be wondering if he is a narc, at the end of the day it doesnt matter if he is or not. Dont think about him, think about you and how you feel around this person. Sometimes you have to tihnk of you first.
Also think about things they do - does it benefit them? My guy would buy flowers for me when he went away for work. Weird, why not buy them when he got back from work? Because he wanted to leave a reminder for me so I would think about him when he wasnt there. The flowers wernt for me, they were for him.
🎯
the last one hits hard
Jesus I was lucky to get a cup of tea from anyone. The men in these comments are angels
Great Advice! 👍💯
My co worker tried to love bomb me but I already knew what's going on and stayed unbothered . I knew exactly steps he will take. I was strong like a Pilar. His lb never worked .
This was truly a heartbreak. Thank you for the full description. ❤
This was such an awesome series! Loved every minute. A juicy, fun, summer watch!
Wow! I never thought of it as love banning but I was with a guy and he was doing all kinds of things for me: fixed a fence by digging up like 6 posts and recementing them, put in a ton of new lights that I didn’t even ask for, pawer washed my house and more. Wanted to take me dancing and bought me anything I laid eyes on and said I liked. It was strange to me…the final thing was when I didn’t feel well and was home from work and he showed up announced with chicken soup and sandwiches. I had wanted to just be by myself. I broke it off with him feeling guilty that he did so many things for me but reminded myself I hadn’t asked him to do any of them! So I can’t say he was a narcissist, but maybe. I just felt like I was waiting for something bad to happen and honestly wasn’t super attracted to him anyway. Maybe I dodged a bullet!
Definitely DODGED A BULLET wow he did ALOT!!! He went way over the top
Good job Karen...
It's called being a man and doing things for women! Most likely you somehow sent signals to this poor guy and he wanted to so nice things for a friend in need. Men are stupid like this. I hope he finds an attractive nice lady who appreciates a nice man.
These same women will complain about not finding a good man.
@@kc5169 But was he a good man though?
Well said !! I needed to hear this ! 😍
Thank you for spending the time to create and share this content awareness 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾💙
i am still going though this. he won’t leave me alone. i blocked him on everything. i had no idea what the cycle was just knew something was off but couldn’t stop it. now i have kicked him out and hopefully on the way to healing. thank you for posting this. i get it now.
I looked up what is "Love Bombing" on TH-cam because I just matched with a guy last Tuesday on Bumble... By Thursday, I felt like something seemed strange-- all these texts about all these "wonderful qualities" he can offer me & texts sounding like he was ready to be in a relationship with me-- after just 2 phone conversations on Wednesday & we NEVER even met each other yet?!!!
Once I really thought about it later on, I realized he didn't even ask me very many questions about myself, so how can he be so "crazy" about me that fast, right???
I am always excited with a new match, where it might lead, but someone acting like they're ready to be in a relationship so badly is a turn off, the guy comes off as "desperate" which I KNOW isn't a good sign!!!! 😟
Great explanation of love bombing, thankful for your work!
Just went though this -love bombing non stop for 3-4 months wanted to get serious after dealing with all his drama -I wasn’t ready but once I matched the energy the energy shifted / he ghosted me out of nowhere
I went on a date two days ago with a guy and he decided by the end of the date that I should only date him. I told him no and that I want to date multiple people. He got very upset and told me that dating multiple people isn’t healthy. I’d never had someone come on so strong! It was weird and definitely uncomfortable. He seemed like a perfect match for me but the immediate need to try and lock me down after being around me for four hours turned me off!
I don’t believe he was necessarily love bombing you tho he was just probably a weird guy, love bombing mostly consists of being heavily manipulated, a bunch of gifts and making you feel like they’re the greatest person on earth while also making you feel like you’re the greatest person on earth, doing things for you that people normally do for you after years of being in love, they move very fast and do all of these things in the very beginning, my ex bought me a Mercedes our first time sitting at a restaurant together as well as thousands and thousands of dollars and til this day still ask me if I need money and if so all I had to do is ask, the car is just one of the gifts there ain’t enough time or space to mention everything she’s given me!
Met this person and if they don’t hear from me for a day they keep saying they miss me. Very annoying and I just addressed it. They are a friend. 😑 creepy AF considering my situation.
This can happen in friendships too.
I broke up with him 3 weeks ago he had made me feel so special and told me everything I wanted to hear, so many I love you and descriptions on why and just so much caring at first. But than he started being mean, and cruel to me, and my feelings, he had treated me so good and sweetly and than just switched up so fast and he was hurting me and making me sob everyday. He began talking shit about me and the things he used to say he loved about me, I couldn’t take that disrespect and I couldn’t do it mentally anymore so I broke up with him. He had talked about breaking up with me to people so I did it first. I helped myself, and it was so fucking hard and I’m still hurting because of the betrayal and deception. It’s been 3 weeks and he’s already gotten a new girl. Men can be so fucked up. But I know I’m too good for him
Great video. Also watch Love bomb If Narc was Honest- by HG Tudor.
People leave if you see red flags- save your soul and brainwashing
Been dating someone for 3 months and they absolutely do this
I just found out he’s a bad person after 6 weeks. I’m broken be but I’ll heal eventually
Thank you for this video, much appreciated!
Lol I was afraid this was happening with my new gf, because we became highly enamoured with each other within weeks.... But when it came to our first "fight" , she sensed I was off. I was surprised someone picked up on my way so quickly, I admitted what I didn't like, she admitted if it were her she wouldn't like it either.
She apologized, I explain that perhaps I wouldn't have been that upset but it reminded me of a past trauma, she further expressed that she understood and that she's basically the same way.
I expressed that my usual way of dealing with it would have been to say nothing and maybe being it up "later..."
Anyway, LSS, I hadn't been with someone so expressive and committed to being respectful and looking to figure things out in a while
I forgot to thank you in my comment so I am now... thank you for this great video! Very helpful!!! 😘
And I love the way you explained it
If you put up boundaries with a narcissist they will get back at you. Be prepared to be put down so they can flip the power back to them.
Hi - thank you!
I have someone who came in strong… said he wanted to move to commitment… and we hadn’t even met.
Then when we were going to meet in person - he fell back and ghosted me a year. Now, back and wanting to try again…. But still I have never met him…
Even if he keeps talking that we are meant to be
This needs to be taught in schools and colleges.
I went to love bombing to discard. No intermediate state. But it was not a romantic relation, but a friend we went hiking and surfing a lot together That was the strangest feeling. No explanation. It really felt like a death.
She started love bombing literally said everything you did the video. Than went so cold even though I was cautious and didn’t pursue to hard. she wasn’t over her past relationship. I ran away soon as she started playing toxic games of hot & cold.
Excellent information and Truths
Omg yesssss, this is accurate, he told me I love you 3 days in and he was really nice and always told me I love you and called me nice things. I would stay up late with him and he began gaslighting on day 6. He stopped being nice to me and began asking me for money here and there. He took offense to things I would say that I didn't mean to be offensive. He even started mocking me and yell at me. It left me really confused after I broke up with him.
The same for me. It was all Catfish
*This is not the cycle of abuse. The cycle of abuse is idealization, devaluation, discard and a potential hoover.*
Such an excellent video ❤
Thank you 🤩definitely subscribed for all. Thank you for helping not only myself but others, first seen your video on a short video... Do this to ease your anxiety.. I started laughing when I did the first look to the right side and I yawned, I promise you I have not been anxious for hours ...was it the exercise or that you took me out of my funk, either way thanks. I am excited to look up some more videos, even if just 1 helped that's good enough, I believe you're a healer and so welcome here.
Wow. Just wow. Thank you for this ❤
This sounds too familiar and I’m struggling to break away. I realized that my ex partner was so focused on wowing me instead of truly being a dedicated life partner. The gifts and gestures were nice but ultimately it’s security and longevity that I’m looking for. It’s so sad that people have this much time to waste. Manipulation at it’s finest
Got dumped last night by someone that fits the personality described in this video, though I don't see yet that she was a narcissist (but I may not be familiar enough with the term). I started getting indulgent affection a while ago, she showered gifts on me "like it's your birthday" she'd say, and made relationship demands and ultimatums. Very difficult to communicate with or work out issues. When I brought up concerns she deflected or turned tables or made brash accusations. I didn't feel comfortable with dedication without more time and effort on how we work together in-person in different situations, she didn't care. All or nothing. Decide now. Even contradicted herself after saying she's willing to discuss and is open to compromise (normal in relationships, really). I was left confused as hell and feeling very flat trying to go to sleep. I wake up today and remember the term "love bombing", and here I am feeling shocked and pointing at my phone going "Yes! That!" It's so sad 😢 I used to be like this. Now I'm experiencing it. I thought our relationship was more valuable and serious and deep than this. I just could not get to that level of depth with here without closing my eyes and giving her the wheel. Oh well, live and learn I guess.
So nice I came across this . I had the same thing TWO TIMES within 2 weeks INSANE! The first one is the most important : We met a Saturday for a hookup which I didn’t want to . I liked him so much that we didn’t do anything like that. And then he started asking lots of questions hugging me and wanted to give me personal things from him as a gift that very first time we met and then asked me if I could stay the night with him , no sex just eat together movie together and cuddle and so I did since it was my first time being love bombed then I was leaving the next day (Sunday) and he asked me to stay again and don’t leave and that I could go to work on Monday straight from his place . So I did . Then we met on Wednesday (2 days after the Monday ) and then he suddenly ghosted me no talk, NOTHING . I’m so glad I learned all this now being 27 because I’ve been in a lot of similar situations with avoidant people
3 months of love bombing 🥵…it was AMAZING thought he was the best boyfriend ever!
Took me to nice restaurants, planned really thoughtful dates
Cooked for me every night
Joined the gym with me
Offered to take my daughter to school because his sons school was close
Stayed over every night.
He kept saying this has to work
Until I said I wanted to do something without him coming along! Or that I wanted to stay home instead of going out with him !
Then he got very angry, created a narrative of me that was completely untrue said I always complained and I was ungrateful
Said I turned everything into a crisis.
They he started to show who he really was, an alcoholic ! …
Then when I told him my concerns he dumped me said it wouldn’t work !!!
I was so confused, it took me a while to realise he was just fake, love bombed me the dopamine ran out !!!
My ego was bruised but I’ve finally detached after 2 months of feeling hurt, sad, disappointed
My ego was bruised !
In my own experience, he love bombed me to death for a couple of years every day with obsessive sexual texts. I never knew where it would lead to. I became addicted to him because of how he made me feel important and I thought his feelings were genuine. It ended badly, I was made a fool of. 2 years 8 months since it ended, I get flashbacks and I start to panic and break down in tears, the anger, the grief, the longing…
Real love takes time to develop so you get to know the other person.
What was I thinking, letting him manipulate me this way.
I felt sorry for that poor bastard because I thought he was lonely and in need of someone.
At the end it was me who got hurt. I can honestly say I’m not totally over him yet. I really wish I was.
Wow
This person I met recently actually used their line with me ‘where have you been all my life?’
I was able to think to myself
‘I have been building an amazing life for myself- why do you ask?’
But lo and behold I fell for it and a few other lines
Now I’m trying to figure out how to get out because I am hooked and it is tough when I go no contact and then start missing him… aaagghh
I watched this to see if I was being love bombed or not. I'm in a relationship with a lady. Things moved pretty fast. She likes to pleasure me, buy me gifts, tells me she loves me, wants to see me often, texts affectionate message very often, says she cannot get enough of me, likes to go out often, talks about changes to my home, wants me to meet family, etc. I will say I am buying most meals when we are out or paying for the majority of things. The relationship feels rushed, but on the other hand she is very loving with family, friends, elderly, people she does not know well - these things appear to be genuine. She becomes emotional easily and needs support often and had been in an abusive relationship previously. When she felt I was becoming distant one busy weekend she broke up, but quickly after reached out again. She had orchestrated so many things to do on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, that I was on a bit of sensory overload. She is extraordinarily perceptive and notices changes in my nature that I may not even be aware of. Our relationship is only a little over a month out. I do care for her, but something makes me question whether things are not quite right, although it is difficult to put my finger on it.
What you described here - what you’ve been going through sounds almost identical to what I have been going through. It’s eerily similar. I came onto this video to research love bombing because I was and am still afraid that was what’s happening to me. We are going through a tough breakup right now after about 6 months of dating that was very intense and loving from the start. So much is similar to what you experienced- feeling rushed, I pay for all meals, wants to do more things with my family, very intent on pleasuring me, only wants plans with me, gets frustrated when I do things with other people…. And much more stuff like that. But of course it’s nice to be loved and appreciated. But I didn’t feel like it was normal and didn’t feel sustainable. What’s your situation like now?
@@DanA-wk3sp Still unsure to be honest. Recent love letters. We had one uncomfortable discussion where she had a need that I was not fulfilling. I was uncomfortable with it. Next I saw her everything was rosy. It just doesn't seem natural to me, however I see positive traits then become confused. She sent me out of her house once then brought me back into her life. My sense is if I do not meet her needs I could be punished, but again, she can be quite rosy. Very odd! As with yourself, she is VERY intent on pleasuring me and rather good at it for that matter.
My ex wanted everything so fast. Marriage, kids. It felt so weird, it lasted 1,5 years on and off. She left me for someone else. She overlaps relationships because she can’t be single. The relationship never felt “right”. There were so many red flags. Now im meeting someone new and it feels like a regular person.
Hmm I'm experiencing the drawback. I almost never fall in love, but when I do it tends to be quite sudden and I just have so much love to give that I try to restrain it because I don't want to scare her off by moving too fast.
But still she will get worried that I am lovebombing. It's a shame that those fake people make people distrusting of those who actually are genuine...
This new chick a decade younger than me in my social circle went through my kids to get to me and love bombed me really hard but I wasn't aware what that was and thought I need to give it a chance especially with kids so happy around her, but I was not attracted to her and she was pushing me to uncomfortable levels incredibly fast, even talking about babies knowing I wanted no more. I had to go full autistic and tell her I was a psychopath to break it off.
sooo basically just every pisces man in general
Thank you so much.. true💯😭😭
I hear your words. I went through the love bomb, drama, reconciliation twice. Its been a month now. I understand it rationally. Yet i can't help myself and get away. What if I'm mistaken and it just happened to look like that? What if things will stay good now? Can't throw that away! Yikes. I can't come to terms with it. I don't want to accept that...
twice in a month is insaneeeee. leave em you can do betterr
@@nattam6019 I did end up leaving him. I was so dreading the "loss" of leaving him, but those past couple weeks have been blissfully mundane. And pretty much entirely devoid of stress! Hard to get back into my mindset that kept me going through all the madness, sounds ridiculous now, but hindsight is 20/20 as they say. Things are good now :) And you're totally right!
yes it's actually crazy how one single person can affect your daily life. im happy for you and wish you the best sis @@theral056
Yes
That’s me exactly
Good to learn about this, but it is too late for me cause i knew after the fact. Now moving forward, i can identify a narcissist.
Thank you for your beautiful message. I have a question, how quick is so quick? How much time is enough?
People don’t change.
Me watching this when I’m very affectionate and didn’t realize it was ‘abusive’:
👁️👄👁️
wow, thanks for this video
Is the phenomenon of love bombing exclusive to relationships with narcissists? Thank you for answering this question @ 6:37. 🙏🏼
I'm not sure if I'm being love bombed, he texts and is just sad that I missed his text and I just tell him that I was asleep then he says "oh ok" then moves on... however he does want to get a house and wants me to be with him? Idk cause he's pretty chill when I tell him that I was busy etc.
I was just love bombed. Treated girl fantastic for one year. She bought me Hella shit. Expensive shit, then just left...
Ran back to her ex husband she told me she disliked... but left me with everything she bought me..
I guess I'm glad she wasn't fucking one of my friends, [I had suspicion] by the way she went cold in the devalue stage, but turned out to be her ex husband.
Im.not hurt at all, I'm glad she's happy.. how am I suppose to feel about the gifts though?
I've never met a mentally ill person that treats their victims like kings then just exit stage left.
reading the letters he wrote me during the love bombing is like reading letters from a completely different person that I forgot ever existed...
Love This information
anxiously attached exactly.
It’s a way to lull an unexpected victim into emotional connection before showing your real self. It’s an emotional tactic to trap and control.
This sounds crazy 2 Me. Ok. So I just did everything right here that you have explained. I did it all and said it all because I loved her and I did feel like that. I did say the exact same everything that you are explaining. To a T. Exactly 100%. I didn't want anything from her! I wasn't trying to influence anything except for her to be with me. I just wanted to show her something different than what she had b4. Something that she made me feel. She said nobody did these things for her so i wanted to do them. Nothing different than any normal romantic relationship. Your making me feel crazy. Can I ask you this then? What if I just really loved her? I didn't want to move in or anything like what you are saying, but I did want to spend some time with her. I liked being next to her. She made me happy and she made me feel like I finally found someone who is like me and I really felt like she was my Twin Flame because we were so much alike in every way. I just learned this word over the summer when I looked up someone that is so much alike myself that I am so in love with and she feels just like the way I do. Now you say all this stuff and you're calling it abuse. How is this abuse? Aren't you supposed to do whatever you can and buy flowers and necklaces, cards and candy, and eventually a ring if it works out and lasts, but now you say all this and she did leave me and I couldn't figure out why. I heard someone say love bombing when I talked to them about what happened and why I'm so heartbroken and the lady told me that she was. Love bombing me, but now I see all this and I'm thinking about what if she seen this video and then she thought I was love bombing her. What if a man just really loves the woman and really feels the things and is trying to be honest and do everything right because he doesn't want to lose her because she is really good to him and he is really good to her and they have the best chemistry and an honest with each other bond. At least that's what I thought. So was I being abusive? Was I just a hopeless fool that lost the love of his life because of this love bombing thing is exactly how I felt and reacted. I did want something though. I just wanted to be with her. I was addicted to her touch and making love to her because she just did everything right and we just clicked together in that way and everything else went from there. Am I so wrong? Is that sp wrong? Can you help me?
Can a healthy relationship ever look like love bombing? Or does it mean that whenever you feel like you've met your "soul mate" that relationship is destined to fail? What is the difference between love bombing, and the honeymoon phase?
Love bombing is excessive praise and compliments directed at someone you have just met and don't really know , it prevents the person on the receiving end actually getting to know the person and everything seems rather rushed !
I met a woman off a dating app who I knew already and had a crush on and she started talking about fate and twin flames during the first time we hung out. I was vulnerable and thought it was real because I felt a connection with her. After I hung out with her at her house she all of a sudden got angry and started accusing me of things and then she ghosted me.
My gf cheated to what I suppose was love bombing since we were in a long distance relationship which was soon coming to an end(long distance) and i would get these comments which i thought out of place and which i didnt take into consideration because of willful blindness. But she would make these remarks that her boss would tell her that her boss would move to any place that she would go because she was very good at her job. Its been 2 months now since I ended things but I learn new things everyday. Thanks for the video!
I didn’t know what love bombing was until I was just told and it very much describes me but only thing is that I really love and care for my significant other but I can be very overwhelming and not respecting space and controlling I want to know how can I change for the better cause I want to save my current relationship.
Excellent video! ☺👍
solid video!
So True....Thanks
what if a love bomber suddenly becomes a self proclaimed “life coach” and begins to solicit friends as new customers? What if this person has no qualifications in counseling or mental health Their previous 20+ years of work was for a multi level marketing scheme.
This is a painful reality for me. The realization that I’ve been manipulated is hurtful.
Well, love bombing becomes only a problem if behaviour changes after a while. Some people are just gorgeous and generous and stick to this behaviour. Maybe a little less or in a more normal way but still. There are also very nice people out there ;)
Spot on 🔥
Your true feelings are guidance towards the people. It shows who they truly are. Your body can sense things. For example i have one person liked me and then i feel so much anxious like butterflies in my stomach.. Then after going away from that person like not seeing her, my true emotion emerged like i feel constant repulsion towards this person.. Now i know my body finds this person repulsive.. Why do my body find it repulsive? It's because she is judging me and using me and wanting me at the same time... That's repulsive.. I blocked her.. Thank God! Thank God i blocked her
Thank you ❤
Thank you for this.