Do's and Don'ts of Negotiating with a Narcissist with Dr Ramani Part 1
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 10 ก.ค. 2024
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DO’S AND DON’TS OF NEGOTIATING WITH A NARCISSIST/How do you negotiate with a narcissist? Whether it’s a divorce, breakup, or breakdown of a business or romantic partnership, any time you are dealing with a narcissist or high conflict personality, it can be hard to maintain your cool, unless you know the inside secrets. If you want to know how narcissists negotiate, how to deal with a narcissist, and how to outplay a narcissist, then this interview with special guest @DoctorRamani is a must watch. Find out what the narcissist is most afraid of and learn the negotiation tactics you will need right here.
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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM.
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"They're pathological liars." Live and learn. Thank you both.
One thing I learned from dealing with a narcissist is, they are going to try and bait into nasty arguments through text and/or email...DON'T respond it's a trap
The Bill Eddy books that discuss BIFF communication methods are so helpful here! When I felt at all riled up by the narcs communications, I made myself a rule to never respond until 24 hs had passed. Then I'd write a big response (NOT in my email program!) saying everything I WANTED to say. Once I got that out of my system, I'd right the real, BIFF response to send.
💯!!!
Bob and weave those jabs. Roll with the punches. Diffuse their sting
yup. then if you give in and argue, they turn into the victom the next day and cant belive the horrible stuff you said to them while defending yourself
@@racerx2348 that's a narc
Journaling has helped me more then I ever thought possible! The patterns, the looks, the put downs, too many to remember and it’s not about being vindictive, it’s about your personal healing,! Totally helps with brain fog.
It really does x good luck with your future.
I love that this information is public now because attorneys and doctors cost money and if you are being financially abused along with isolation and other abuse you may not be able to afford adequate help 😷
The most important thing I learned after several years during my divorce is build your case offensively with facts that establish who you are. Their lies and hypocrisy shows up automatically. By doing so, you also create a barrier they cannot be broken down with lies and manipulation.
"You will catch them in lies when you document!"
Learning to not defend was tough but boy has it payed off. I feel so strong now and my kids have learned to do the same and I’m so proud of them.
That's cool
So thankful to have found you!!!!
Everything you say is 120%%% true.
I’ve been going through a divorce with a malignant narcissist for two years and he has tried to make my life a living hell. Ever since I discovered you, I have got a better lawyer who understands, documented, emailed properly and things are turning around as his true colours are showing now to everyone. Thank you!!!
After I gave up on trying to fix my marriage I started helping myself.
Both therapists he brainwashed
It wasn’t until I got into DV counseling did I get the support I needed..
You two ladies are so informative. I'm divorcing a narcissistic husband and the videos from each of your channels have helped to pick me up from the dark places in my mind and stay determined. I'm so indebted to you both for making these videos to help others. 🙏🏻🙏🏻
Hello, hope your divorce panned out well! Do you mind giving an update? I’m currently in the middle of divorce from a narcissist. We are preparing to go into our second mediation. My biggest concern is the children, and then assets. Any advice?
I love that you two produced this together! This is such a problem..dealt with 3 relationships in the past year..one of which destroyed my career.
Thank you for all the tips!!! You have no idea how helpful this is!
You are the two BEST PROFESSIONALS regarding narcissists!
I absolutely adore both of you STRONG & wise women! THANK YOU for all of your information, advice, & help!! It has been a Godsend
My Friends and I like the fact that you have many videos about Narcissists. Narcissists are a Bigger Problem in our Society than most People realize. Indeed many People do NOT know how to Recognize a Narcissist and the different Types of Narcissists. THANK YOU for Explaining and Describing Narcissists and their Bad Behaviors, Tactics, etc. And we especially Appreciate the fact that you not only tell us what a Narcissist is and does, but you also give us Assertive Solutions, Tactics etc., for Dealing With and Defeating Narcissists. THANK YOU, we're so happy that we found your Channel.
You are both wonderful and enduring professionals. I'm so greatful for your discoveries and your delivery of them. Thank you beautiful souls. Amen.
Amazing professionals! Thank you, I feel blessed that I have discovered your channel!
Life Saving Video! 🙏🏽 Thank You !
Rebecca Zung and Dr Ramana, both your channels really came through for me in the past year while going through a custody battle. 🙏🏾
I've been documenting every interaction. I do not engage in their narratives. I have proof that this works. Nerves of steel 💪
Love you both! Great video! Very helpful!💞
Good to see you both of you together
Two of the strongest most inspirational women on the internet ❤
They are so right....thank you so much for sharing your wisdom
Thank you very enlighten. 😊
My two favorite people! This is awesome!
Thank you very much for these videos. I’ve found the
Extremely helpful and can’t wait to put all your ideas and advice in practice during the negotiation with my sister regarding family assets.
Thank you soo much! I'm dealing with this and it's all coming to an end, the narc (she) is losing control and she knows she pushed to hard trying to come into my house..police is now involved, the end is soon, peace is finally coming my way! I am so proud of myself :)
I'm dealing with this in sort. She told the court I abandoned my son. When I allowed her to stay in my son life by co parenting
Stay proud
Wow! Thank GOD for you two. I've been keeping a journal of attacks against my wife and I by my x-narcissist and her flying monkey's ever since my wife and I got married in 2007. My x-narcissist and her minion's have used racism against us as well as other attacks (I'm a light skinned man though I'm a mix and my wife's a wonderful black lady, from Africa.). Though we've been enduring attacks against our character, as well as death threats, theft, vandalism, etc. I didn't know the true meaning of "narcissist". I've watched several of Dr. Ramani's videos and couldn't stop! Everything she said is true and this is exactly what my x-narcissist is! Narcissist's obsession and unfounded hatred is very concerning. There's so much more to this, you wouldn't believe it (You people probably would though). Note: My x-narcissist and mer minion's have been attacking me since 1999, however, when I remarried in 2007, my x-narcissist went full nuke! GOD bless you both and Thank you so much!
Thank you both so very much for being walking ambassadors for survivors who are recovering from narcissistic abuse. I’m in the middle of divorcing my narcissist and just so much information that has been helpful. The only thing I didn’t do was make sure that my attorney was aware of my wife’s narcissistic abuse in the beginning.
Good for u to break free from this, I'm still struggling. Hope u have a bright future
Can you do a video where you speak to going on the offense? I would love tips, examples and frameworks for that strategy. Thank you for the great content, ladies!
This has been very helpful. I wish I had seen it before.
I love this...you 2 are a power team!
Renee Dougherty,You got a lovely smile 😊
What a treat! Two of my fave experts! Now if you could just get TammieM to join you, we could all win the trifecta!
I can tell what Dr ramani feels from the beginning 😁
Thank u
I needed this!
Dr. Ramani is amazing
Thanks for this very informative video.
.......another good one you, two. Also, hope you can someday use or put to good use Elinor Greenberg's article. Thanks for sharing another great video. Stay safe out there.
I have a small channel but I would love to have a talk with either of you about narcissists on my podcast someday, the way you explain the whole matter is super clear and it would be nice to let more people know about this, since the average person is unaware of this pathology and how common it is.
You 2 are a good team...thank you for helping many that are poor..and cannot afford lawyers.. your advice is invaluable!! Can't thank you enough..from a poor individual under smearing gangstalking narcissists..
God bless you.
Thank You! I you have helped me so much
my 2 favorite women helping me get away from my narcissist boss! what a great night!
There not your favourite until they are accessible,fool💥
I took screenshots and sent them to my attorney and he discussed it with my narc husband’s attorney and now he records all of our interactions and is super nice. 😂🤣Now it’s obvious to everyone what he thinks of me and how he talks to me when others aren’t around. He’s squirming like mad and everyone involved now knows why.
*We* *Love* *Ramani* 🖤
Wow two best ladies 👍
Thank you ladies
Start doing what the narc accuses you of. See how their behaviour instantly changes.
I'm interested to know how? is it in a good way or bad way :) have you experienced?
Like cheating?
Behaviour changes because of consequences,fool💲🆘⛔
Since what they accuse you of is often what they themselves are doing or would do (projection), you're going to have to do a lot of unsavory stuff. Lie, cheat, stab in the back. If that's who YOU are, go for it. But really all you'll be doing is proving the narc right. And most victims of narcissists have better character than that.
BTW, narcs and sociopaths don't actually learn well from consequences. Narcs because it's always someone else's fault, and sociopaths because they'll just try to figure out a way to do what they want while avoiding the consequences.
The best solution is distance.
Wow! Joined forces...
I wish I could channel you when I’m dealing with the narcissistic people in my life. I learn so much from both of you but I freeze up when I’m in a situation.
Or maybe n ear bud with your life coach helping you.
Thank you..❤️☘️
A commenter suggested to make a list of the Pros/Cons of the person or the relationship!
Whenever I miss them of "reminisce" about the relationship, I read that list!
Reality check!
I have to listen to these videos constantly to keep myself grounded in reality.
👆🏼👆🏼Thanks to the name pointed with the finger he really helped me
You are a great team.
Cherrie,You look beautiful 🌹,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
Thanks o lots!!
Thanku my dear Rebecca
Now my attorney has 10 hours of him baiting me trying to get into a fight or lying, and me being nice with kind simple responses. 😂
Gracias a las dos! Mwa
I went in to question a cop, who said that no crime was committed. They came in sounding just like the narcissist or worse. They were impressed by the narcissist couple, who have criminal records, but are better looking. I went in voluntarlly,but was treated like an arrestee, not even allowed to set my precedent, but set on the defensive. They asked me totally irrelevant questions. I suspect they interfered with my application for RAFT money to keep me from moving on the government's dime.
Dr Ramani is lovee
KEE hire the best nothing less / ineffective counsel an option not mentioned against public pretender do 🚫 quit! Ty ty #1 ⚖️ Dr
Journaling works it really x emotional literacy is the best therapy x
Thanks 👍
Power duo :)) You are great ladies!
Hande Fabbro,You got a lovely smile 😊
Wish I had this great information 10 years ago... So accurate and spot on advise. Thank you both!
Beverly McCash,You look gorgeous 🌹🌷,Hope you are not with a narcissist!
@@jackpetersen7545 not any more….
@@beverlymccash8314 Ok dear.I am Jack from USA 🇺🇸.You?
@@beverlymccash8314 Which country are you from?
I attempted to journal and document I would get so agitated so disgusted and so sick to my stomach writing down exactly what I said exactly what she said and then all of our activities was our behavior rage fits and assaults it was just easier to leave and stay gone
I start off my conversations with, "You'll think I'm lying,....". I'm always second guessing myself!
👆🏼👆🏼Thanks to the name pointed with the finger he help me
@6:50
"Narcissists are not going to except constructive feed back!"
*I couldn't understand how the Narcissist would respond to my direct, clear, "short and to the point" texts! They always responded off the subject! I'd make my point in another way and down the rabbit hole I'd go!
Now, I "limit" communication with ANYONE that responds that way! Done! ✅
Really I understand
Thank you Rebecca ... I ain't leaving the State ...
The clue abuse is impacting you is the inclination to defend.
And it is true whatever the abuser may say or do you need not satisfy the abuser.
Such a great video!
At 15 minutes Dr. Rahmani talks about how she coaches her clients to bring theirselves back to center and adjust expectations according to the reality of pattern behavior.
And it’s so true! 👏🏽
So important to do this gently so as to not layer shame for having these “normal human behavior” expectations. Give yourself grace for wanting to stay optimistic, and gently pull those facts back to front and center. Stay grounded in your truth and love yourself through the process. ❤️
Thank you both! 🙏🏽
You ladies are so helpful! Thank you! Just an observation though, the dialogue written on the screen is distracting. Thanks!
Thanks both of you . My wife is always turn ING the blame on me. What I try ING to she twist things round like saying it's all about about me which I know is not true . My apologies if I did not get my words right . It's hard to take it all in
Do not give them an avenue for them to find out ANY of your plans on ANYTHING. This oftentimes involves finding a way to keep them busy with other things and people that throw them off track.
I must become better at this! A pocker-face or grey rock is so difficult!
I recorded his confession
I did it for my sanity but if o need to to protect myself
Thank you so much for this videos, me and my husband are dealing with narcissistic ex wife who cheated and left for another man she is always trying to embarrassed my husband most in the court which do you called a legal harassment, she loves going to the court and file motions in a nonsense thing,for my husband and I it’s very frustrating we felt that she’s winning all the time she went to the court which is taking advantage to use the kids all the time a 18 year old and 13 year old kid,as a wife i’m so stressed untill when is this we have a hearing on august 1 ,because we skipped a payment once,and why we skipped its because she just cashed out the 9,500 for a child support that we paid so next we need to pay 1,500 and next is 2,100
so we skipped the 1,500 and paid the 2,100 so she filed the motion at the court for skipping the 1,500 ,we are not running away from our responsibilities,after that she sent cops twice in our house in the middle of our real state transactions.I’m getting stressed in our coming hearing that she can get the sympathy of the judge 👩⚖️ that is why she feel empowered to do everything to my husband and I.
All I have to do is to pray and ask for God’s back that judge will be in our side.
Do be way ahead of them, so you can pre DC ict their next move. Analyze the possible reasons they had to have done what they did, and you will come up with the direction they are going, and what the next step would be to help them get there. Find a way to stop them in their tracks from completing that next step.
It's true, I can't tell anyone around me what I'm going through with this person. He's got them eating out his hands and it makes me regress more. And this quarantine is devastating to my progress
I am so happy we argued just before the quarantine. I pretty much Said: before I go stay at yours can we create a system to deal with your anger and shouting? Can you give me a word that you will use before getting angry and shouting so we are on the same page and I stop the discussing the subject that triggers your anger? Crickets, arguments every thing BUT doing that. The funny part is he was the one pushing me to come stay with him. Thank God I didn't go! I need to live his ass but in love this quarantine was a good thing for me.
Try at least to get yourself a counsellor; that can be online or on the phone while you're 'out for a walk'. DV services can often help if you can't afford to pay a therapist privately. And DV counsellors are very familiar with the behaviour of narcs.
@12:08 I strongly disagree with her. Mindfulness changed my life and the way I deal with my wife hurling insults at me not stop. Mindfulness is a super power, and it not only calms me down and makes me bullet proof, it also allows me to listen to her ranting and raving and screaming at me; all without it harming me, all without my making things worse. Yes, I video record those when I can. She hates it when I start recording with the phone, and will knock it out of my hand when I do it. However, I am steadfast at making sure I am not torn up in this.
I will be going into mediation with my ex husband who is a covert narcissist in exactly 2 hours. I needed to hear this. My children and I have been free from him since 2014. And all of a sudden he wants custody. I've had full custody. I pray it all comes out good for my children! I don't want them to be mentally abused like I was.
So helpful,I live in Kansas city Missouri, I need a attorney that can handle , my narcissistic husband of 44 year's, Can anyone ,Tell me how to find a really good attorney, Please, I need help with this,He has money,I don't, He controlled me all these year's, He has money,So wouldn't he have to pay for attorney? Thank you,So stressed,I left him on September 12th, I only have my suv,He is in the home,I'm staying with a friend of 30 + years.
year's. Helpful,I live in Kansas city Missouri, I need and attorney that deals with narcissistic, I left my husband, September 12th, I only have my SUV,He is at our home,we have 2 homes,44 years,I can't take the mental abuse anymore, Please if anyone can help me get attorney for Kansas city Missouri, I would be so thankful, A narcissistic attorney, My husband has money, I don't He has all control.Please lead me in the right direction. Thank you
Mediation with my covert Narcissist husband is March 2. We have been no contact 2.5 months. I know not to use the word narcissist. Will need to hold him to his promises to get anything back from the money I brought into the 3 yr marriage that he spent. Thank god I’m away and no kids together. and that is a win. I want my money back.
I heard from other people discussing narcissist, that courts look down on the person accusing the other party of being a narcissist because they aren’t a doctor nor have they been officially diagnosed. How would you find a lawyer who is familiar with narcissistic behavior if it may work against you in court?
Rebecca Zung Thank you!
From my personal experience usually people at court including the judge are narcissist themselves and they really don't like being exposed.
Don't say they are a narc! Just SHOW the problem BEHAVIOURS. The judge doesn't care if your partner is a narcissist or not, but when you have DOCUMENTATION of their lies, unreliability, going back on what they've agreed to, THAT is of interest to the judge or mediator.
And be very careful how YOU communicate. Always polite, brief, clear. Both w/the narc, and with who ever else you're dealing with in this process. let their crazy shine by being the sane one!
I found an attorney that specializes with NPD and DV by word of mouth. I also went and searched on google and included domestic violence in my search words. When interviewing/consulting with an attorney you are thinking about hiring, ask them directly if they specialize or have experience with divorcing a narcissist or domestic violence related issues. They will let you know if that is something they have the prior experience with or not.
And NEVER say Narcissist in court! Give facts and back it up with documentation whenever possible. Take good notes with dates/times and as much detail as possible. Use that to paint the picture instead of just pointing a finger.
How do you turn your case around from always being on the defensive to being on the offensive?
Good program as always.What documentation will I need.im in a divorce process. Married for 27 years.got a big house .2 hops wich I never benefit from.he controls all finances. I GIT 2 KIDS .OVER 18 .PLEASE WHAT DOCUMENTATION WILL I BE NEEDING?
De. Durvasala , Do you know if any Psychologist in south Florida that can help me out?
Thank you
Thank you so much for the information both of you are been bless with wisdom..what to do when the narcissist blacks mail you and you know is dangerous because you know you can get in trouble and you walk on eggshells but you know your daughter is getting abused in every aspect..i want to rescued her..please help!!
Law and order here x
💕 ty
Narcissists know you so well, that they can put you in a position to defend yourself which gives them supply!
Don't react:
"You always say this and that!"
Respond:
"I'm not going to tolerate that behavior!"
In my county, it seems like they really like the narcissistic type people. I've never yet seen a situation in my county where a narcissistic person has lost or not gotten exactly everything they want. But there are many county workers themselves that gaslight, stonewall, and threaten families.
Greetings from sunny SW Florida. Is there a resource to find a lawyer and therapist who are familiar with a narcissistic mate in Florida please?
At the point where he put hands on me, I instantly KNEW I needed a paper trail because no one will ever believe me!! I won but it took him putting hands on my 6 yr old before he disappeared from our lives. I had to take him to court several times, and on the stand, I begged the judge to show that child that actions have consequences.
We have a big problem with the child support agency in the UK breeding control, entitlement and greed in mothers, and fathers being forced into radical lifestyle changes, hopelessness and suicidal contemplation by a system that is not means tested. A father cannot work harder to get himself more money to be able to afford to live, because the ex-partner is then entitled to a pay rise.
My husband has brought up his 4x children into adulthood, the youngest son 17 would not come home on time (typical teenage behaviour), and after consequences being put in place, he decided to live with his mother. After no communication, the mother applied to the CMS which has ordered £835pm with only 30 days notice and we are having to sell the house. Our mortgage is high due to housing 6x children (including my two) The mother has a low council rent and an NHS wage and doesn't need that amount of money. It is good to hear that honesty makes them panic because that's all my husband has to arm himself.
Keep doing the good work ladies!
How do you find the right lawyer? What questions should I ask to ensure I have a good lawyer?
I'll bet you're a triple threat in court. I hear that stunning women are considered very intimidating just by their looks. Then you talk... and the deal is DONE! Fantastic work, channel and videos. Thank you for sharing your expertise with us all. x
They do beg you after you ignore them, then they get you back in the snare, then they are nice and you get along, as long as you go along with all they want to do, until you do something you want and then it’s back to the them on attack. Then you ignore the attack…then they say ok let’s don’t fight…..then it’s starts all over again and again and again and again and again.
5:05 just make a backup of your files, what you should do anyway.
When i listen to both of you i feel empowered. I am going through many emotions for a while now and tired of struggling to be strong and move on. Can you please describe what app to use to print text messages with reference to your suggestion of keeping documents?
Pwrswitch
It is hard when you have to go pro bono because you are Disabled and he is the narcissist who keeps me at home.
Trys to make it look like I am crazy.
Majorly a bad lier. I have been going through Terapy for about 3 months already.
Does it get better?