Want to know more about why Why Negotiating with a Narcissist is So Difficult ? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover the simple, powerful strategies I teach all my clients. Click here to sign up now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live
I feel like these 2 women have literally got me through the last 5 months! Thank you for your dedication to helping people. And for teaming up 🔥 🔥 🔥 Whoevers idea that was is genius.
My heart goes out to all the Victims in this world It's uncalled for and breaks my heart to know so many are losing their lives over this. The Narcissist is uncalled for. *Minslegend* , don't stop doing you we here to support you 💯%..
I wish I had known this information 34 years ago when I got divorced. Back than the Peter Pan syndrome was the explanation for the behavior of entitled immature men which was not helpful in divorce proceedings. However I'm pleased that this information is available to women currently getting divorced.
I can’t thank you enough for these videos. On the way to a mediation meeting with my ex-narc and feeling extremely nervous. It helps to watch these videos in preparation.
I am so grateful for both of you... I now understand why my 28 marriage has not and is not working. I just don't know if I have the strength to free myself. My body is deteriorating both physically and mentally with each passing day. I have so much compassion for others suffering as I am.
Thank you both so much for your advocacy- I have been a victim of this behavior for almost 2 years. I am a father of 3 young boys 2-4-5 years of age. My ex- and her parents have been conspiring false grotesque allegations on me and finally everything came to light Thursday of last week. A Biased ATTORNEY, PSYCHOLOGIST, CPS Investigator - got exposed- My ex and her family are Pentecostal ministers and have been for almost 40 years- They were trying to take my children for there own personal cultish agenda. I have been following you all and educating myself on what to do to maintain composure in this trial of my life- IT WORKED! Thank you both very much.
You are both so wonderfully talented and insightful. Just listening to your talk has made me feel the exhaustion again that I had 11 years ago going through that horrific narcissist divorce. You are describing it all with such precision. Thank you so much for all you do, all the guidance and support that you provide for so many. I’m so happy to be living a healthy and peaceful life now. Thank you for reminding me of how resilient and fortunate we are to be able to shift and heal. For those who are still in the eye of the storm, please know that there really is so much light and love in your future.
This is a profound video. The last 5 minutes explain the last ten years of my marriage (and now divorce) perfectly. My narc-wife is *just like this* and frankly I feel sorry for her. Should be interesting when the kids are grown up and ask my why Mom is the way she is. Well guys…..
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you leapnotch*
They addressed so many issues lots of people had with the narcissists and that makes me extremely happy to know that he is really listening to their community like they did so many years ago. Thanks *Leapnotch*
Say what u want about *Leapnotch,* but this man is a legend, and something about his personality just brings a smile to my face!!!!! he is so charismatic & extremely talented. he's given us hits for over the last 13 years... a legend. Xoxo
“Trying to catch a wave and pin it down” is a feeling I’ve had for a decade now. That was life. There was never any agreement, never any compromise, nothing was ever settled. Exhausting.
WOW, What a collaboration! I've been watching both of your videos and learning about narcissists A LOT from you, Rebecca and Dr. Ramani!! Decades ago when I was married to a narcissist husband, I was so confused what happened to our relationship even though we used to see therapists back then. No one mentioned about narcissist or NPD... Several years ago, I started learning about narcissists when I had a relationship with another narcissist (I believe he was a grandiose type narcissist). It was obvious he was very narcissistic, so I started researching about narcissisms. I never felt peace or safe when I was with him, so I stopped seeing him 3 years ago, but he continuously contacted me after the break up. BUT I still have been learning about narcissists from both of you, so that I could remain "no contact"!! Thank you so much for all the information you have provided me and other people. You are saving a lot of people's lives!!
Rebecca & Reman reminds me not to worry God Given freedom justice happiness and peace , that Dedication to encourage each other . I think the worst feeling in the world is to be forgotten by the one you could never forget. God takes care of that missing person , in my life .
One thing that is not mentioned here is if the narcissist has Money and if the other person has legal aid or very limited budget for lawyers. My lawyers I found just cut corners because they were not charging me full price and kept saying it would cost me more money if they had to read my papers I took in for proof.
That is so awful. I think the best thing with a narcissist is to be in front of a judge. If you ever self represent the most important thing is not to show anger or upset. To just explain things in an almost submissive mode no matter what. Which is nearly impossible if you’re traumatized but if you can do it and just keep even keep in front of a judge and just state the truth without attacking back (which they attempt to bait you into). That should work.
Wow I honestly immediately started crying at *minslegend* part of honesty. Imagine sacrificing that much for your own firm's success, and being so thrilled to see them all grow. I come from a small family and can imagine recommending all of them to you but an absolute inspiration for the way to surround yourself with love.
Loving your talks with Dr. Ramani!! Just got finished watching, Part 2 of yours and her joint narcissism talk on her channel. I left comments under her video. That being said I know that she may or may not pass those comments on to you. Therefore, in the interest of fairness I will re-post for you a copy of my remarks some of which were directed to you. Here is what I had to say, "Very eyeopening video. I can honestly say it's the 1st time somebody understood what I went through. Listening to you two is like hearing a 'playbook' from my life. Favorite quote from Dr. Ramani: "(The narcissist) is like an equal opportunity harassers". Sending multiple subpoena's all over the place is definitely something I can identify with. I also think your comments about making sure that the atty someone contemplates working with is someone who understands the intricacies of dealing with a narcissist is sooooh important!! Truth is many people don't get it. I know that the subject of narcissism is your 'thing', Dr. R-. Currently, there is such a separation / division between the 2 unrelated professional fields: MH and law. I also remember you saying very succinctly in one of your other videos that you believe that narcissism is one of the most vexing problems facing people today. Yet, there is not enough that is or can be done about the matter b/c the real 'problem children' don't come in for treatment. They don't come for treatment as you well know because they don't believe there was / is anything wrong with them, anyway. Q #1: For either you OR Ms. Zung: Considering the level of 'financial carnage' narcissists can perpetrate do either of you foresee a day or a time in which lawyers / the courts, MH professionals, and (perhaps) law enforcement forge alliances on cases involving fraud or financial manipulation where someone's PD is used as a defence or a prosecution element? Put another way do you ever foresee the day wherein someone is prosecuted for their bad behavior which they have no control over due to their NPD status or condition? I know this is kind of an unusual question. However, it's one I believe is worth contemplation. Q #2: Ms. Zung given the heightened information that is available about how narcissists operate do you ever think an atty would ever think to consult w/ a MH clinician if, he / she believes they are dealing w/ a narcissist on a particular case? Q #3: to Dr. Ramani do you ever foresee there being a time in which for the purposes of a court case you or an atty could ever, feel comfortable saying out loud in court (to a judge) that you and your client or client's clinician feel they are dealing with a narcissist opposing party? Yes, I know this goes against all conventional wisdom. My bigger question is how do you convey this notion to a judge who may not be versed in such a phenomenon? Lastly, Ms. Zung's comment about having (good) leverage is a topic I wish someone would have told me about a long time ago. Thanks again for considering my questions".
Still early in the video, maybe it will be mentioned...but, keep a piece of your mental efforts focused on your OWN body language. If you can, sit in a relaxed position, try not to lean forward or huddled into yourself, do not cross your arms, keep your posture open. Depending on your anxiety level and your level of experience in negotiations, this can be very hard to do. Your natural inclination will be to hunch forward and/or cross your arms and legs, and it sends a signal of defensiveness and combativeness. To the narc it may look reactive, and they may see that as weak. Stay open with your posture, and you will have that extra help in looking confident and powerful (it'll help you feel that way to a small degree, too).
We were ordered to use the "My Family Wizard" app for all communications and the Guardian ad Litem was to be copied on everything. Took my ex-wife a year to even download the app onto her phone. She was found in willful contempt of court for that and 4 other issues then next time we met in court. There was a time when she was texting me around 150 times per day, horrible things, during the heat of the divorce proceedings.
I would love to learn additional skills on how to deal with malignant narcissist stepparent! My sons stepmother has made the past 8 years an absolute nightmare for us, and it’s unrelenting. She controls (or attempts to) the entire family dynamic in all aspects and so often I feel powerless when trying to protect my sons emotional well being as well as my own! Thank you for all you ladies do- you have definitely saved my sanity countless times!
gee it's great to see the synergy between you two, concurring through so much based upon broad experience and skillsets; thankyou so much for bringing this to us; every word is a morsel of incredible value.
Thank you so much for all that you've done for I and my family during the difficult time! *minslegend* you eased all my pain and provided a beautiful celebration... thank you so much for the evidence you helped me received against my Narcissist husband, Your kindness and professionalism helped us through and is much appreciated
Oh my Lord is a never ending fight. You are absolutely right they are like fight dogs attacking to kill. My husband couldn't get me to give up on things he wanted in custody and now he's going after me financially not paying child support withholding money to make me give up he's been trying to break me in every way possible and since he hasn't been able now he is withholding child support he said if you can't afford the children I'm willing to take full custody when he abandoned them almost two years ago!
15:00 this is happening to me daily 🤦♂️Im leaving to protect my 7yo. Her mom tells her I don’t want to live with THEM anymore. 😔 All I told my child is to always remember there are two sides to every story. I even told my ex that when our kid gets older and figure you out they will want to live with me. Her reply “maybe but not right now.”
Also tired of the religious people saying go and pray . I believe in God but God did not put us here to pushovers. My ex used the word of God and tried to preach and he is not a preacher.
This just happened to me. Agreed to get divorce. No lawyers. Joint custody. Them boom. Gatekeeping. Said I was crazy and domestic abuser lying and crying on stand at mediation for over an hour. She got temp sole custody now I have supervised visits like some kind of criminal when I raised our son the whole time....
You are doing a great job. You are saving lives. Thanks I fell in love with your lectures. They are so smart and professional. I am in Africa. Uganda. How can I access your books dear. Your lectures are helping me recover.
26 years of co parenting, divorcing and post court battles 4 children, have nearly made me insane... I’m so happy I have 2 years left with our last child becoming 18.
I've reported my covert Narc ex for abuse to the Feminist Organisation he's part of for 22 years. Will have a discussion with people about it on Sunday and I know it'll all be like it was in the relationship, so now, I, the abused empathic and hypersensitive human did something I hate doing. I never stood up for myself or set any boundaries and I have to cut off all I am- my emotions to get him kicked out ot this organisation.
I can no longer be the neutral referee between him and the kids. The kids now need validation otherwise I would be invalidating their feelings and observations just like it’s been done to me. I’m actively looking for a therapist for the youngest child; just turning 18. Thank goodness! Thank you both for sharing this information. I feel as if I have been in a bad dream; and suddenly I had the blindfold pulled off my eyes; the surreal life I’ve lived since childhood, then the marriage, is finally making sense.🙏😊🍃🐣🐥🐛🦋
Thank you! I certainly hope I can put into action all the strategies you have suggested 😁 Manipulate the manipulator! Well I surely should be able to give this a fair crack considering I learnt from the best for the past 13 years. I’ll certainly be needing that shower to rinse off all my vomit resulting from deliberately stroking his ego in an effort to get what I need or want
My 9 yr old is talking about wanting to see God. I’m on my last pro se leg. 3 yrs of the abuse in Phoenix you and Dr Ramani spoke of , a year of my child suffering with his dads sadistic behaviors and fighting to move where his molester take kids in showers but pays for lawyer step dad is.My son looking at me to save him. I’m so confused I have no addictions, no abuse but I’m being deemed mentally ill and justice equality and Integrity no where to be found in this justice system. No help AT ALL while being held to same standards as an attorney. As the judge does not appear on screen but as the voice of God who gives all favor to the 2 abusers Its Unbelievable! I really wish i could protect him. I’m not mental or suicidal but without my Zaners ive lost my will to try anymore. Tomorrow is a hearing to take my 2 hrs a week away, it’s with the new judge and I pray please pray for me that I can turn something around and judge will see what he has done. Thank you for your information I was very helpful to realize I’m not crazy
My situation is with my narc sis. My narc mom passed last month. I spent the last year trying to take care of her. Of course I didn’t do a good job in the eyes of my sis. In the year I was away from my home and husband, we realized we work better together when we aren’t living in the same space. Hubby signed a new lease with out me. So as it stands now I have no permanent residence. I am disabled with an autoimmune disease and live on SSDI, to my shame. 18 hours after mom died she announced I had to pack up and move in 60 days. Most people, except her flying monkeys, feel this is unreasonable considering my lack of health, Christmas season, it’s winter on the high plains in Idaho, applying for sec.8 housing takes time and I needed to clear out moms hose. My sis is a criminal. At age 17 she embezzled money from her employer, and again from another employer at age 19. She lies and has stolen from me. I meet with an estate attorney next week. Just typing this out is causing a mild panic attack. I went no contact with sis Three days ago! No more texts. She’s too afraid to talk to me. How pitiful the narcs are. I’m so thankful I escaped this disease. I’m definitely damaged, but after this legal battle I free!
I am so happy to find your channel. My situation is kind of in the middle- we were in a relationship, but it escalated to domestic violence and so the state picked up charges on him and he somehow came up with money for a lawyer (from new supply he tried to triangulate me with) while my assets were depleted.... and it’s been a journey. The virus hasn’t helped since it extended things out. The main thing I have solely against him is an order of protection that I’m fighting to get. I really need it on him and his mom but her threatening me isn’t enough at this time to get one- but it will equal a warrant, once the courts open up. I know that you’re a divorce attorney, but have you ever had to deal with clients that have gone through the order of protection as well? Even if you haven’t, I’ve found a lot of what you say to be helpful.
It's the "that conversation never took place/ actually did take place" that drives you mad it is a constant... what??? Suddenly out of nowhere when you think things are going well.
Thank you for informatively sharing and caring. Are narcissist claims accepted and recognised in English inheritance laws? All my family are narcissists who want sole control of our late parents' financial wealth and there are many unexplained, unaccountable discrepancies.
The only I'm going to litigate is going to be by a court order, to get hm in to court.He has other people telling him what to do ,when to do it,and how like he's a child.Hus brother, sister the one he said months prior his sister was going to get me out of my HSE.I thought he was joking.Well it happened they planned it and now their going to deal with these consiqences, they intencially,knowingly, fraudulently, inflicted harm,pain,bodily injuries for life,emotionally pain, physically pain and injuries, towards me and the children.
My mom used me sexually to make my dad jealous when I was 12. When he came home and saw, he beat me severely and tried to kill me. Later he told my sister to try to drown me in the tub so it looks accidental. Soon, he abducted my sister and left the country. He came back months later and my entire family forced me to keep quiet. I'm 43 now and I was a good student but I had to tell everyone In was bad and crazy to protect them. They're wealthy now and I'm homeless. I don't know what to do and no one would believe me.
I’m having a hard time understanding parental alienation as child abuse. What constitutes throwing another parent under the bus? What if the other parent is abusive or neglectful? When my kids come to me, I would rather validate their emotions than gaslight them, and I tell them I am doing everything I can. I understand that if I withhold parenting time I could completely lose my parental rights, but there is a difference because talking sh*t about the other parent to your kids and validating the kids when they come to you telling stories of abuse and neglect at the other parent’s home, right? I have no idea how to proceed.
This is where I tripped up as well in this video. Dr. Zing obviously took the established narrative based on „parental alienation“ founder Richard Gardner for granted. It is well known that this is not a real diagnosis, but junk science. Gardner was a pedophile sympathizer. I totally agree with your opinion and I consider it child abuse to gaslight my child about his own feelings and obvious abuse. It’s another thing to withhold contact or trash talk the other parent by spreading lies and such. Anyway, parental alienation is still so widely recognised by the courts and is the no 1 weapon of abusers to deflect from their own deeds. It’s a very powerful coercive weapon and it needs to be abolished. But until then you need to play the system…
Also those who teach co-parenting class, they need to be educated on Narcissistic abuse. Because the instructor actually made it worse for us who were dealing with a narcissist and not just "we fell outta love" 🙄 two drastically different classes.
With parental alienation, if the court has deemed the narcissistic parent as violent and grants a DVPO, how do you handle that type of alienation with your teenage kids who were subjects of the violence/abuse?
What would you suggest when there are children involved? And narcissistic parent lies to them, overly involves them in adult issues, starts poisoning and punishing the children? What if they start playing “fun parent” to win child over? What if teenager starts adopting horrible narcissistic behavior and manipulative attitude, using themselves as leverage? How do you protect against teenagers literally being taught to lie to other parent, and potentially guardian?
Nobody has suggested anything, may I suggest a few things: 1. Time and patience- the narc always shows their true colours. 2. Remain calm and educate yourself as much as possible as often as you can. 3. Explain to your children (age appropriately) what is happening, just don't use the word Narc at all. Teach them to see and understand the Narc's pattern of behaviour. 4. Teach them to follow their instinct. 5. If you can afford it, please take your children for therapy or have someone who you trust implicitly spend time with them and perhaps they can trust them and open up. 6. Play with them, have fun with them, make happy memories.
Dear Lucille: I'm not an expert, only a fellow-survivor. You're in a situation called "rock vs hard place." You KNOW what is right. Make sure your child knows the rules and the consequences that will come for breaking them. Enforce the "rule(s)" consistently, telling the child its because you love them. Never raise your voice but always enforce. You are their PARENT (probably the ONLY one that loves them unconditionally), not their friend. Continue to listen to Dr. Ramani's podcasts, they help you recognize some major manipulative techniques. (When mine did, I had to consciously not snort because I think - wow - you are so not up to your dad's level!) Start the habit of documenting...everything; even your child's response(s). Someday, it will help. Today, I have 2 (of 3) children who I have a solid relationship. The 3rd child is desperately trying to get his father to "love" them...even by severing his ties with me. Finally, learn to wait without judging (especially yourself). Remember, every day is a breath a freedom/life since you're away from that narcissist. Blessings
i found out my ex used our adult daughter as his go betweens in the divorce. His lawyer pressured him to get more money so basically his lawyer and him tried to alienate my adult daughter from me and to see me as the abuser. How is that possible? He was not declared incompetent, my adult child did not have a POA, there was no custody issue, and I was charged with no crime. I had no idea this was happening at the time of our divorce, It has been ten years since our divorce and my lawyer has since died, but his is still living. This is so unethical, and illegal in our state. But most of all, there is no doubt this did and has contributed to her and my rocky relationship. This news has devasted me that my daughter was used in this way. What now?
How do i find an attorney that will represent me that would actually believe me when i present her all the facts that he is being narsacistic against me and that hes force selling the house on me or asking me to give him 50k so that he will sign off on the house when he admitted that he tricked me into buying a house to then drop me and now force sell the house all because he wants money? I hired an attorney and it seems like she is in their favor now. Please help
I don’t agree with the ego stroking, I’m surprised at that. You can keep a narcissist satisfied. Best thing is just to keep things matter of fact, void of emotion (I know feels impossible but don’t do what feels good) and press on to court in front of a judge. Negotiating with a narcissist doesn’t work because you are starting from a sub zero, wronged position. It’s important to state the simple truth, trudge along and don’t respond to any side issues when they attempt to muddy the waters.
Dr Ramani, I’d be interested to hear what your thoughts are on the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard divorce and court case. I wonder if you have listened to the recordings and what your thoughts are. I understand you’d probably prefer to not to be linked to such a high profile public matter, yet I also feel more and more like narcissistic behaviours need to be highlighted by expert professionals such as yourself! Scary world. I enjoy your channel :)
Im going thru negotiations now and he has lied so much thru the whole thing! Ive filed for a restraining order because of the abuse and now he wants to make me agree to a no contact order on me now...whatever....if i did that then he can lie and say i broke it so i get arrested and thrown in jail...i can't affird bail or court!😱
If a family member was aware of a narcissist who was raising a child and actively raising that child to be totally dependent on her, to the point of not allowing the child to grow up, learn how to drive, get a job, or go to college, could the concerned family members have that narcissistic parent charged with abuse, neglect, or failure to parent?
Just have to say I'm about to litigate with my ex narc of 12 year for the 2nd time 😮 Yep, getting divorced from thr same man twice! After a DV violence incident that lasted hours in front of kids. Thank you for helping me be prepared this time.
My sons grandma is narcissist and i have struggled with addiction so she's using my past against me and mind you i been sober since 7/14/2018 so every time we have a hearing about why we decided to go no contact my past gets brought back up as if Its current . False reports to cps, physically assaulting us when they blocked our vehicle in so we couldn't leave then accusing me of assult after assulting me...and sadly the judges going to ignore our constant cries for help bc he's convinced I'm garbage who wants to use drugs without grandparents around and that's the absolute opposite of the truth... the NY court system is awful and my son is suffering emotionally more than ever before. I'm getting him into counseling because of how there seems to be no end in sight and the courts refuse to listen bc of outside conversations had with the judge when we weren't around.
I may have to litigate against a narcissist in an elder abuse/probate context. He is squandering away estate assets and put my mom in a nursing home through several frauds so that he could access her assets via a phonied up power of attorney. Do elder abuse lawyers typically take cases on a contingency basis?
Kindly respond sans a star, please. Do you have any videos on going back to court post divorce with the narcissistic attorney? Advice please, eg, what I wish I knew then. Thank you
People also ask What is the 6th Amendment in simple terms? The Sixth Amendment guarantees the rights of criminal defendants, including the right to a public trial without unnecessary delay, the right to a lawyer, the right to an impartial jury, and the right to know who your accusers are and the nature of the charges and evidence against you.
Want to know more about why Why Negotiating with a Narcissist is So Difficult ? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover the simple, powerful strategies I teach all my clients. Click here to sign up now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live
“Death by a thousand cuts”. PERFECT!
Exactly! Never has been accountable! Exactly! “What is this court going to do? Nothing!” How my nex thinks
I feel like these 2 women have literally got me through the last 5 months! Thank you for your dedication to helping people. And for teaming up 🔥 🔥 🔥 Whoevers idea that was is genius.
Yes, same here❣️
My heart goes out to all the Victims in this world It's uncalled for and breaks my heart to know so many are losing their lives over this. The Narcissist is uncalled for. *Minslegend* , don't stop doing you we here to support you 💯%..
I wish I had known this information 34 years ago when I got divorced. Back than the Peter Pan syndrome was the explanation for the behavior of entitled immature men which was not helpful in divorce proceedings. However I'm pleased that this information is available to women currently getting divorced.
Fantastic duo.. My favorite teachers.
Thank you two
Yes this is a power team
Thank you Rebecca and Dr. Ramani for teaming up and providing us with your expertise, extremely valuable content and putting this out on UTube for us.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
I'm so happy to see you with Dr. Ramani , she is the first person I listened to about narcissism.
I can’t thank you enough for these videos. On the way to a mediation meeting with my ex-narc and feeling extremely nervous. It helps to watch these videos in preparation.
God Bless You! If you can, share how it turned out?
Thank you!!! This is exhausting and hard and I'm so upset about it.
I am so grateful for both of you... I now understand why my 28 marriage has not and is not working. I just don't know if I have the strength to free myself. My body is deteriorating both physically and mentally with each passing day. I have so much compassion for others suffering as I am.
Please get out! It’s difficult, but your life is worth it. Get a therapist and start establishing an exit strategy.
Thank you both so much for your advocacy- I have been a victim of this behavior for almost 2 years. I am a father of 3 young boys 2-4-5 years of age.
My ex- and her parents have been conspiring false grotesque allegations on me and finally everything came to light Thursday of last week. A
Biased ATTORNEY, PSYCHOLOGIST, CPS Investigator - got exposed-
My ex and her family are Pentecostal ministers and have been for almost 40 years-
They were trying to take my children for there own personal cultish agenda.
I have been following you all and educating myself on what to do to maintain composure in this trial of my life- IT WORKED!
Thank you both very much.
You are both so wonderfully talented and insightful. Just listening to your talk has made me feel the exhaustion again that I had 11 years ago going through that horrific narcissist divorce. You are describing it all with such precision.
Thank you so much for all you do, all the guidance and support that you provide for so many.
I’m so happy to be living a healthy and peaceful life now. Thank you for reminding me of how resilient and fortunate we are to be able to shift and heal. For those who are still in the eye of the storm, please know that there really is so much light and love in your future.
This is a profound video. The last 5 minutes explain the last ten years of my marriage (and now divorce) perfectly. My narc-wife is *just like this* and frankly I feel sorry for her. Should be interesting when the kids are grown up and ask my why Mom is the way she is. Well guys…..
OMG YES! How am I just finding this amazing colab!
These ladies are the Champs. I love their work and them too. God bless and encourage them always, is my humble prayer for them.
*Honestly, just owning it and not trying to hide it is partially why I watch you. It's the honorable thing to do and it make the rest of the jobs much more believe when you are call out of the spots like that, so thank you leapnotch*
My two favorite women who i watch daily on you tube coming together is super amazing!
They addressed so many issues lots of people had with the narcissists and that makes me extremely happy to know that he is really listening to their community like they did so many years ago. Thanks *Leapnotch*
Say what u want about *Leapnotch,* but this man is a legend, and something about his personality just brings a smile to my face!!!!! he is so charismatic & extremely talented. he's given us hits for over the last 13 years... a legend. Xoxo
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
“Trying to catch a wave and pin it down” is a feeling I’ve had for a decade now. That was life. There was never any agreement, never any compromise, nothing was ever settled. Exhausting.
Sorry to hear this. The constant victim mentality from the other side can be extremely frustrating.
WOW, What a collaboration! I've been watching both of your videos and learning about narcissists A LOT from you, Rebecca and Dr. Ramani!! Decades ago when I was married to a narcissist husband, I was so confused what happened to our relationship even though we used to see therapists back then. No one mentioned about narcissist or NPD... Several years ago, I started learning about narcissists when I had a relationship with another narcissist (I believe he was a grandiose type narcissist). It was obvious he was very narcissistic, so I started researching about narcissisms. I never felt peace or safe when I was with him, so I stopped seeing him 3 years ago, but he continuously contacted me after the break up. BUT I still have been learning about narcissists from both of you, so that I could remain "no contact"!! Thank you so much for all the information you have provided me and other people. You are saving a lot of people's lives!!
The 2 amazing professional ladies helping Thu a nightmare of divorce!
Love . Love. LOVE. THIS colllaboration
Keep your Emotions out of it....Tell us how...When it comes to our children
Oh...the no-response!! Thank you for the heads up.
Thank you. Both. This helps a lot.
Rebecca & Reman reminds me not to worry God Given freedom justice happiness and peace , that Dedication to encourage each other . I think the worst feeling in the world is to be forgotten by the one you could never forget. God takes care of that missing person , in my life .
You two ladies saved my life. I love you two ladies and I am eternally grateful, thank you!
My 2 favorite people!! Yes
I love them both ❤ thank you ladies
One thing that is not mentioned here is if the narcissist has Money and if the other person has legal aid or very limited budget for lawyers. My lawyers I found just cut corners because they were not charging me full price and kept saying it would cost me more money if they had to read my papers I took in for proof.
That is so awful. I think the best thing with a narcissist is to be in front of a judge. If you ever self represent the most important thing is not to show anger or upset. To just explain things in an almost submissive mode no matter what. Which is nearly impossible if you’re traumatized but if you can do it and just keep even keep in front of a judge and just state the truth without attacking back (which they attempt to bait you into). That should work.
These videos give me the insight, street& courage to preserve 💜
Wow I honestly immediately started crying at *minslegend* part of honesty. Imagine sacrificing that much for your own firm's success, and being so thrilled to see them all grow. I come from a small family and can imagine recommending all of them to you but an absolute inspiration for the way to surround yourself with love.
Protecting your client! Great team work! Have a life! I love all!
“Death by a thousand cuts”, profound words.
Here for the lovely and beautiful Dr. Ramani ❤ 💙 💜
Loving your talks with Dr. Ramani!!
Just got finished watching, Part 2 of yours and her joint narcissism talk on her channel.
I left comments under her video. That being said I know that she may or may not pass those comments on to you. Therefore, in the interest of fairness I will re-post for you a copy of my remarks some of which were directed to you.
Here is what I had to say, "Very eyeopening video. I can honestly say it's the 1st time somebody understood what I went through. Listening to you two is like hearing a 'playbook' from my life. Favorite quote from Dr. Ramani: "(The narcissist) is like an equal opportunity harassers". Sending multiple subpoena's all over the place is definitely something I can identify with. I also think your comments about making sure that the atty someone contemplates working with is someone who understands the intricacies of dealing with a narcissist is sooooh important!! Truth is many people don't get it.
I know that the subject of narcissism is your 'thing', Dr. R-. Currently, there is such a separation / division between the 2 unrelated professional fields: MH and law. I also remember you saying very succinctly in one of your other videos that you believe that narcissism is one of the most vexing problems facing people today. Yet, there is not enough that is or can be done about the matter b/c the real 'problem children' don't come in for treatment. They don't come for treatment as you well know because they don't believe there was / is anything wrong with them, anyway.
Q #1: For either you OR Ms. Zung: Considering the level of 'financial carnage' narcissists can perpetrate do either of you foresee a day or a time in which lawyers / the courts, MH professionals, and (perhaps) law enforcement forge alliances on cases involving fraud or financial manipulation where someone's PD is used as a defence or a prosecution element? Put another way do you ever foresee the day wherein someone is prosecuted for their bad behavior which they have no control over due to their NPD status or condition?
I know this is kind of an unusual question. However, it's one I believe is worth contemplation.
Q #2: Ms. Zung given the heightened information that is available about how narcissists operate do you ever think an atty would ever think to consult w/ a MH clinician if, he / she believes they are dealing w/ a narcissist on a particular case?
Q #3: to Dr. Ramani do you ever foresee there being a time in which for the purposes of a court case you or an atty could ever, feel comfortable saying out loud in court (to a judge) that you and your client or client's clinician feel they are dealing with a narcissist opposing party?
Yes, I know this goes against all conventional wisdom. My bigger question is how do you convey this notion to a judge who may not be versed in such a phenomenon?
Lastly, Ms. Zung's comment about having (good) leverage is a topic I wish someone would have told me about a long time ago. Thanks again for considering my questions".
@@RebeccaZungEsq God Bless both of you for the work you do.
Still early in the video, maybe it will be mentioned...but, keep a piece of your mental efforts focused on your OWN body language. If you can, sit in a relaxed position, try not to lean forward or huddled into yourself, do not cross your arms, keep your posture open. Depending on your anxiety level and your level of experience in negotiations, this can be very hard to do. Your natural inclination will be to hunch forward and/or cross your arms and legs, and it sends a signal of defensiveness and combativeness. To the narc it may look reactive, and they may see that as weak. Stay open with your posture, and you will have that extra help in looking confident and powerful (it'll help you feel that way to a small degree, too).
LOVE you two! Also, the fluffing is true...sadly. I totally agree with the manipulation to get what you want conversation.
This was a much needed collaboration. Thank you both 🙏 the work you both do is enlightening and life changing.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
We were ordered to use the "My Family Wizard" app for all communications and the Guardian ad Litem was to be copied on everything. Took my ex-wife a year to even download the app onto her phone. She was found in willful contempt of court for that and 4 other issues then next time we met in court. There was a time when she was texting me around 150 times per day, horrible things, during the heat of the divorce proceedings.
I would love to learn additional skills on how to deal with malignant narcissist stepparent! My sons stepmother has made the past 8 years an absolute nightmare for us, and it’s unrelenting. She controls (or attempts to) the entire family dynamic in all aspects and so often I feel powerless when trying to protect my sons emotional well being as well as my own! Thank you for all you ladies do- you have definitely saved my sanity countless times!
gee it's great to see the synergy between you two, concurring through so much based upon broad experience and skillsets; thankyou so much for bringing this to us; every word is a morsel of incredible value.
A big thank you to both of you, always the best & regular advice.
This is absolutely life changing - thank you
So amazing to see this. Love both your videos. I have never heard of this app before that they use. Is it only used in the US?
Thank you so much for all that you've done for I and my family during the difficult time! *minslegend* you eased all my pain and provided a beautiful celebration... thank you so much for the evidence you helped me received against my Narcissist husband, Your kindness and professionalism helped us through and is much appreciated
Oh my Lord is a never ending fight. You are absolutely right they are like fight dogs attacking to kill. My husband couldn't get me to give up on things he wanted in custody and now he's going after me financially not paying child support withholding money to make me give up he's been trying to break me in every way possible and since he hasn't been able now he is withholding child support he said if you can't afford the children I'm willing to take full custody when he abandoned them almost two years ago!
15:00 this is happening to me daily 🤦♂️Im leaving to protect my 7yo. Her mom tells her I don’t want to live with THEM anymore. 😔 All I told my child is to always remember there are two sides to every story. I even told my ex that when our kid gets older and figure you out they will want to live with me. Her reply “maybe but not right now.”
has anyone ever tried to sue the narcissist for mental and emotional abuse
Right?!! I wonder this too
I’m trying to do this right now, I was able to file order of protection against his narc sisters
Also tired of the religious people saying go and pray . I believe in God but God did not put us here to pushovers. My ex used the word of God and tried to preach and he is not a preacher.
I likely will try to do this. I’m not tolerating it any longer
@@beccareynolds4625 ☺️
i watch both of you lovely ladies channels, its cool to see yous teaming up, great work xx
Really helpful 🙏
This just happened to me. Agreed to get divorce. No lawyers. Joint custody. Them boom. Gatekeeping. Said I was crazy and domestic abuser lying and crying on stand at mediation for over an hour. She got temp sole custody now I have supervised visits like some kind of criminal when I raised our son the whole time....
You are doing a great job. You are saving lives. Thanks I fell in love with your lectures. They are so smart and professional. I am in Africa. Uganda. How can I access your books dear. Your lectures are helping me recover.
26 years of co parenting, divorcing and post court battles 4 children, have nearly made me insane... I’m so happy I have 2 years left with our last child becoming 18.
What about child support? It’s been constant battle
there is no way unless you manage to get a psych evaluation at the early stages of divorce
Luv this info!! Many thanks!
I've reported my covert Narc ex for abuse to the Feminist Organisation he's part of for 22 years. Will have a discussion with people about it on Sunday and I know it'll all be like it was in the relationship, so now, I, the abused empathic and hypersensitive human did something I hate doing. I never stood up for myself or set any boundaries and I have to cut off all I am- my emotions to get him kicked out ot this organisation.
I can no longer be the neutral referee between him and the kids. The kids now need validation otherwise I would be invalidating their feelings and observations just like it’s been done to me. I’m actively looking for a therapist for the youngest child; just turning 18. Thank goodness! Thank you both for sharing this information. I feel as if I have been in a bad dream; and suddenly I had the blindfold pulled off my eyes; the surreal life I’ve lived since childhood, then the marriage, is finally making sense.🙏😊🍃🐣🐥🐛🦋
Thank you.
How do I hire you Rebecca Zung?
I love the true north thought ❤
I won in court, yet the narcissist still hasn't paid anything. Don't hold your breath for these people to pay-up. They are disgusting human beings.
Thank you! I certainly hope I can put into action all the strategies you have suggested 😁 Manipulate the manipulator! Well I surely should be able to give this a fair crack considering I learnt from the best for the past 13 years. I’ll certainly be needing that shower to rinse off all my vomit resulting from deliberately stroking his ego in an effort to get what I need or want
My 9 yr old is talking about wanting to see God. I’m on my last pro se leg. 3 yrs of the abuse in Phoenix you and Dr Ramani spoke of , a year of my child suffering with his dads sadistic behaviors and fighting to move where his molester take kids in showers but pays for lawyer step dad is.My son looking at me to save him. I’m so confused I have no addictions, no abuse but I’m being deemed mentally ill and justice equality and Integrity no where to be found in this justice system. No help AT ALL while being held to same standards as an attorney. As the judge does not appear on screen but as the voice of God who gives all favor to the 2 abusers Its Unbelievable! I really wish i could protect him. I’m not mental or suicidal but without my Zaners ive lost my will to try anymore. Tomorrow is a hearing to take my 2 hrs a week away, it’s with the new judge and I pray please pray for me that I can turn something around and judge will see what he has done. Thank you for your information I was very helpful to realize I’m not crazy
Fluff it til you make it (win)!
My situation is with my narc sis. My narc mom passed last month. I spent the last year trying to take care of her. Of course I didn’t do a good job in the eyes of my sis. In the year I was away from my home and husband, we realized we work better together when we aren’t living in the same space. Hubby signed a new lease with out me. So as it stands now I have no permanent residence. I am disabled with an autoimmune disease and live on SSDI, to my shame.
18 hours after mom died she announced I had to pack up and move in 60 days. Most people, except her flying monkeys, feel this is unreasonable considering my lack of health, Christmas season, it’s winter on the high plains in Idaho, applying for sec.8 housing takes time and I needed to clear out moms hose.
My sis is a criminal. At age 17 she embezzled money from her employer, and again from another employer at age 19. She lies and has stolen from me. I meet with an estate attorney next week. Just typing this out is causing a mild panic attack.
I went no contact with sis Three days ago! No more texts. She’s too afraid to talk to me. How pitiful the narcs are. I’m so thankful I escaped this disease. I’m definitely damaged, but after this legal battle I free!
I am so happy to find your channel. My situation is kind of in the middle- we were in a relationship, but it escalated to domestic violence and so the state picked up charges on him and he somehow came up with money for a lawyer (from new supply he tried to triangulate me with) while my assets were depleted.... and it’s been a journey. The virus hasn’t helped since it extended things out. The main thing I have solely against him is an order of protection that I’m fighting to get. I really need it on him and his mom but her threatening me isn’t enough at this time to get one- but it will equal a warrant, once the courts open up. I know that you’re a divorce attorney, but have you ever had to deal with clients that have gone through the order of protection as well? Even if you haven’t, I’ve found a lot of what you say to be helpful.
Stay strong! ❤
Join me in my free webinar - icanslay.com
If I could super duper like or double like I WOULD. Thank you!
Thank God for this it is so damn hard to go through but these ladies get it.
It's the "that conversation never took place/ actually did take place" that drives you mad it is a constant... what??? Suddenly out of nowhere when you think things are going well.
Don’t engage don’t personalize don’t defend don’t explain
This is crazy exactly what I’m living.
Thank you for informatively sharing and caring. Are narcissist claims accepted and recognised in English inheritance laws? All my family are narcissists who want sole control of our late parents' financial wealth and there are many unexplained, unaccountable discrepancies.
Oh, wine and dine? I'm so totally about it , not just suggesting it.
The only I'm going to litigate is going to be by a court order, to get hm in to court.He has other people telling him what to do ,when to do it,and how like he's a child.Hus brother, sister the one he said months prior his sister was going to get me out of my HSE.I thought he was joking.Well it happened they planned it and now their going to deal with these consiqences, they intencially,knowingly, fraudulently, inflicted harm,pain,bodily injuries for life,emotionally pain, physically pain and injuries, towards me and the children.
My mom used me sexually to make my dad jealous when I was 12. When he came home and saw, he beat me severely and tried to kill me. Later he told my sister to try to drown me in the tub so it looks accidental. Soon, he abducted my sister and left the country. He came back months later and my entire family forced me to keep quiet. I'm 43 now and I was a good student but I had to tell everyone In was bad and crazy to protect them. They're wealthy now and I'm homeless. I don't know what to do and no one would believe me.
So sorry this happened to you.
I’m having a hard time understanding parental alienation as child abuse. What constitutes throwing another parent under the bus? What if the other parent is abusive or neglectful? When my kids come to me, I would rather validate their emotions than gaslight them, and I tell them I am doing everything I can. I understand that if I withhold parenting time I could completely lose my parental rights, but there is a difference because talking sh*t about the other parent to your kids and validating the kids when they come to you telling stories of abuse and neglect at the other parent’s home, right? I have no idea how to proceed.
This is where I tripped up as well in this video. Dr. Zing obviously took the established narrative based on „parental alienation“ founder Richard Gardner for granted. It is well known that this is not a real diagnosis, but junk science. Gardner was a pedophile sympathizer. I totally agree with your opinion and I consider it child abuse to gaslight my child about his own feelings and obvious abuse. It’s another thing to withhold contact or trash talk the other parent by spreading lies and such. Anyway, parental alienation is still so widely recognised by the courts and is the no 1 weapon of abusers to deflect from their own deeds. It’s a very powerful coercive weapon and it needs to be abolished. But until then you need to play the system…
Yes he was told to take anger management and pay $400. He was shocked. He was also told to take co-parenting class, he never did.
Also those who teach co-parenting class, they need to be educated on Narcissistic abuse. Because the instructor actually made it worse for us who were dealing with a narcissist and not just "we fell outta love" 🙄 two drastically different classes.
2 beautiful 🤩 ladies in the thumbnail, my favorite combination
Scott Farkus!
Is there a good attorney that understands narcissism in Santa Cruz California?
Look up One Moms Battle on FB and ask this question
With parental alienation, if the court has deemed the narcissistic parent as violent and grants a DVPO, how do you handle that type of alienation with your teenage kids who were subjects of the violence/abuse?
What would you suggest when there are children involved? And narcissistic parent lies to them, overly involves them in adult issues, starts poisoning and punishing the children? What if they start playing “fun parent” to win child over? What if teenager starts adopting horrible narcissistic behavior and manipulative attitude, using themselves as leverage? How do you protect against teenagers literally being taught to lie to other parent, and potentially guardian?
Nobody has suggested anything, may I suggest a few things:
1. Time and patience- the narc always shows their true colours.
2. Remain calm and educate yourself as much as possible as often as you can.
3. Explain to your children (age appropriately) what is happening, just don't use the word Narc at all. Teach them to see and understand the Narc's pattern of behaviour.
4. Teach them to follow their instinct.
5. If you can afford it, please take your children for therapy or have someone who you trust implicitly spend time with them and perhaps they can trust them and open up.
6. Play with them, have fun with them, make happy memories.
Dear Lucille: I'm not an expert, only a fellow-survivor. You're in a situation called "rock vs hard place." You KNOW what is right. Make sure your child knows the rules and the consequences that will come for breaking them. Enforce the "rule(s)" consistently, telling the child its because you love them. Never raise your voice but always enforce. You are their PARENT (probably the ONLY one that loves them unconditionally), not their friend. Continue to listen to Dr. Ramani's podcasts, they help you recognize some major manipulative techniques. (When mine did, I had to consciously not snort because I think - wow - you are so not up to your dad's level!) Start the habit of documenting...everything; even your child's response(s). Someday, it will help. Today, I have 2 (of 3) children who I have a solid relationship. The 3rd child is desperately trying to get his father to "love" them...even by severing his ties with me. Finally, learn to wait without judging (especially yourself). Remember, every day is a breath a freedom/life since you're away from that narcissist. Blessings
@@thetwinklegg8121 Good advice 👌
Where can i ask you a very personal question re: my scenario???????? Need YOUR advice
I have a restraining order and a divorce in progress from being married 30 yrs to a covert narcissist
i found out my ex used our adult daughter as his go betweens in the divorce. His lawyer pressured him to get more money so basically his lawyer and him tried to alienate my adult daughter from me and to see me as the abuser. How is that possible? He was not declared incompetent, my adult child did not have a POA, there was no custody issue, and I was charged with no crime. I had no idea this was happening at the time of our divorce, It has been ten years since our divorce and my lawyer has since died, but his is still living. This is so unethical, and illegal in our state. But most of all, there is no doubt this did and has contributed to her and my rocky relationship. This news has devasted me that my daughter was used in this way. What now?
How do i find an attorney that will represent me that would actually believe me when i present her all the facts that he is being narsacistic against me and that hes force selling the house on me or asking me to give him 50k so that he will sign off on the house when he admitted that he tricked me into buying a house to then drop me and now force sell the house all because he wants money? I hired an attorney and it seems like she is in their favor now. Please help
I don’t agree with the ego stroking, I’m surprised at that. You can keep a narcissist satisfied. Best thing is just to keep things matter of fact, void of emotion (I know feels impossible but don’t do what feels good) and press on to court in front of a judge. Negotiating with a narcissist doesn’t work because you are starting from a sub zero, wronged position. It’s important to state the simple truth, trudge along and don’t respond to any side issues when they attempt to muddy the waters.
Dr Ramani, I’d be interested to hear what your thoughts are on the Johnny Depp/Amber Heard divorce and court case. I wonder if you have listened to the recordings and what your thoughts are. I understand you’d probably prefer to not to be linked to such a high profile public matter, yet I also feel more and more like narcissistic behaviours need to be highlighted by expert professionals such as yourself! Scary world. I enjoy your channel :)
Im going thru negotiations now and he has lied so much thru the whole thing! Ive filed for a restraining order because of the abuse and now he wants to make me agree to a no contact order on me now...whatever....if i did that then he can lie and say i broke it so i get arrested and thrown in jail...i can't affird bail or court!😱
My son is in the process of divorcing his narc wife. Oh it is SOOOOO MUCH FUUUN!!!!!
If a family member was aware of a narcissist who was raising a child and actively raising that child to be totally dependent on her, to the point of not allowing the child to grow up, learn how to drive, get a job, or go to college, could the concerned family members have that narcissistic parent charged with abuse, neglect, or failure to parent?
Just have to say I'm about to litigate with my ex narc of 12 year for the 2nd time 😮 Yep, getting divorced from thr same man twice! After a DV violence incident that lasted hours in front of kids. Thank you for helping me be prepared this time.
My sons grandma is narcissist and i have struggled with addiction so she's using my past against me and mind you i been sober since 7/14/2018 so every time we have a hearing about why we decided to go no contact my past gets brought back up as if Its current . False reports to cps, physically assaulting us when they blocked our vehicle in so we couldn't leave then accusing me of assult after assulting me...and sadly the judges going to ignore our constant cries for help bc he's convinced I'm garbage who wants to use drugs without grandparents around and that's the absolute opposite of the truth... the NY court system is awful and my son is suffering emotionally more than ever before. I'm getting him into counseling because of how there seems to be no end in sight and the courts refuse to listen bc of outside conversations had with the judge when we weren't around.
I may have to litigate against a narcissist in an elder abuse/probate context. He is squandering away estate assets and put my mom in a nursing home through several frauds so that he could access her assets via a phonied up power of attorney. Do elder abuse lawyers typically take cases on a contingency basis?
Kindly respond sans a star, please. Do you have any videos on going back to court post divorce with the narcissistic attorney? Advice please, eg, what I wish I knew then. Thank you
Just had to file a motion for contempt for my ex narc husband who refused my summer visits w my daughter
What about an ex partner you weren’t married to? Can you sue them for damages?
People also ask
What is the 6th Amendment in simple terms?
The Sixth Amendment guarantees the rights of criminal defendants, including the right to a public trial without unnecessary delay, the right to a lawyer, the right to an impartial jury, and the right to know who your accusers are and the nature of the charges and evidence against you.