I feel like this video kind of establishes Coach Lee as the head honcho of relationship coaches. He slaps down the nonsense that a lot of the others keep repeating. Plus, "You want your ex back. It's not a crime" is 😂💯🔥
I cry like that four days ago when my baby daddy come over we been together for 8 years n been broken up almost a year but he lie n so now I block him but I did get closer we had sex it was good so I kind of get want I want but I kind of what my family back but it was better to get closer and move on because it was to painful to looking at him n remember why we broken up he hurt me n my kids so bad
The thing is, you can do all the work and become unrecognizable, but if your ex doesnt self reflect and do some work themselves, they will end up resenting you for being better without them. Both parties should work on themselves in order for the relationship to be better the next time around.
Honestly I feel like anyone in relationships should be watching these videos, and even before a relationship. Just so we can learn to be better people ourselves. Relationships are like a cake in a oven!! I wish I knew this before I tried to rush things. I hope I can teach someone else my mistakes so they won't make them.
every time you reach out to your ex, you reset the clock, they're also more than likely in a situationship with another person as well, don't contact or look at there social media cause everything could be traced, focus on becoming a better you & more than likely they'll reach out, it took me a year to realize this & she just reached out earlier this week. everything coach lee has thought me is 100% spot on. also NEVER block your ex on anything. let them enjoy your show
Oh YES AND YOU SAID YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK!!! OH ITS NOT A CRIME!!!! Thank YOU !! Not mentioning names but it’s a crime according to their advice!! Whoever heard such nonsense!! We aren’t or is anyone on this planet mentally challenged for wanting our Ex back!! It proves we Love through thick and Thin! That makes all of US UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT!! We Are human and no one is perfect!!!
She came back It all unfolded exactly as you described. After months of me being a boring old fart and taking her for granted she broke up and sent me packing 3000 miles home to the airport. It was pretty final. The same day I actually started to detatch from her and began to believe I was seeing the RS from a new perspective she messaged me. It really is like they sense the shift. She straight up poured her heart out no BS and after talking we understood each other and she wants me back. Don't break NC and stay positive people! Thanks again Coach Lee I was lucky to find this channel your advice 1000% works. Here is my tip and something I did the night she reached out (not intentionally but guess it works) (and mentioned to me) : If you have a profile picture together keep it up! Or if it is one they took of you. Because you did not change it straight away they know you didn't do it out of raw emotions like anger. Then after a couple of weeks once they are over the relief stage and wondering if you have moved on delete it and make a new one of just you. This will make them think you are starting to move on at the same time they miss you and really instill a sense of loss.
🥳🥳🥳THANK YOU COACH LEE!!!🥳🥳🥳 No contact does work - as Coach Lee says, "believe & trust!" After 8 years together, we broke up in July, & he moved out. I was DEVASTATED. I never ever in a million years thought he would actually move out. We talked off & on in August because we were both confused about what we wanted, if we could fix things, etc. And then he met the "rebound". When I found out about HER, I finally told him we don't need to talk anymore and to leave me alone. That was last Wednesday. I did not contact him again. He showed up at my door this afternoon. I was shocked, to say the least - i thought he'd moved on. Well, apparently he dumped the rebound & wants to come home. I told him I wasn't sure, we still have a LOT to discuss & things to work out. I'm not sure what will happen, but we agreed to get together sometime this weekend to "talk". 🙏🤞🙏
When we first started falling in love she wrote me a note saying "No matter where I go I will always find my way back to you". When we first broke up she was afraid we would not find those feelings but we became even stronger. We have broken up 3 times already but we are both learning issues in our characters that we are changing. If two people love each other they will come back and try. Hopefully this is the last one.
I will reach out on Day 46, then... 😂😂😂 Coach, I'm going crazy with the wait, but it's so silly to rush things... and now I understand. My goal is to hold on at least until the end of the 3rd month to reach out, and I know that many exes even take longer than that. Friends, please pray for me if you can. Clinical depression makes things even more challenging... Thank you for making us laugh, Coach 🧡 You're a beautiful being.
@@shaut9120 my ex got with someone else after about a week. It's normal. If y'all had something special, it's just her scared of being alone. It'll be a rebound Bec she misses you. She'll come crawling back after it blows. Probably around 1-4 weeks. If she gets with someone new. Other than that, wait
So glad I watched this, I watched a video earlier that said about messaging a woman after a week of NC! Sent my mind into overdrive 😅 Out of all the channels out there, I feel like Lee has our best interests at heart ❤️
It's been about a year since my break up and I have since moved on and in an amazing relationship with someone who is better. I watched these videos obsessively when the break up was fresh and man, did they help uplift me out of a very dark place. I can for sure say that his no contact advice and avoiding ignoring your ex was some deeply powerful advice. My ex reached out to me multiple times after I went no contact. Love Coach Lee, he's the man.
I wouldn't advise to reach out to ex. The best thing to do is (it's hard I know), during the break up, simply telling "okay, I understand. If you change your mind, tell me". THEN it's the best time to start no contact. Building up yourself, sharing great stories on social media (don't block your ex! May them see how fine you doin'). If your ex reaches out to you, text/call back after a few hours. Don't say them you miss them, don't show any emotions. Just doin' fine, thanks. Do it until your ex will decide to come back to you (or if not, their lose).
Thanks coach, i watched a lot of your videos, they helped me a lot. I went no contact, and i have grew personally and moved on and found 1000x better woman.
5 months and counting since my DA ex broke up with me (AA) . We were dating 2 1/2 years. BTW we had no fighting, nothing. The breakup hit me out of blue over the phone. I reached out via text end of June due to a natural disaster in our town...he responded asap and appeared to miss our chats and my company and we had nice flow of back to back texting for 4 days then he went silent. Note: a day after break up, I saw him on the Hwy happily driving and talking to a short girl in his passenger seat (he did not see me). It was crushing. I couldnt believe he may have dumped me to jump into a relationship with said mystery chick. Especially since he was the most honest, godfearing, religious, do right, exmilitary, good samaritan person on the planet. It made no sense. Within these 5 months, i caught him passing by my house about 3 times.(which is a reach for him geographically)...but also saw him on Hwy driving with her about 3,4 different occasions. Not sure who mystery short chick is. Well, yesterday i had surgery...i wanted badly to reach out to him but didnt. I miss him as a bf and wish i had his love n support thru this ordeal but i dont. It kills me. He has no idea but prob wouldnt care at this point. I still love him. And want us back but i dont know how this will play out. Hes extreme Dissmissive Avoidant and Im Anxious Attachemnt. The mystery chick gotta be a rebound. I dont know what to think and any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
I've been in no contact for about 1.5 months, and coach lee is still my go to when I start feeling anxious and like i need to take some sort of action. I'm thinking of reaching out to my ex girlfriend after about 2-2.5 months of no contact.
I broke no contact because of my anxiety day 54. I told him that I had his stuff and he responded nicely. Kept the convo short. It eased my pain a little. Started no contact on Day 4 today and getting my stuff next week!
@@youloveemelia so she contacted me pretty much exactly 3 months after the breakup, we went out a few times and she said she wasnt closed to the idea of trying again, we went out and had a few good times after that but then a month ago we went for coffee and she said she needs space, I was really understanding and a few days later she messaged me thanking me for being so understanding but since then I havent heard from her. I was really sceptical about no contact at first but it really does work, she reached out to me after 3 months and she said breaking up with me was one of the most dificult things shes ever done, trust no contact, stick with personal improvement and focus on yourself as much as you possibly can and I can almost garuntee you'll hear from them when you least expect it. I'm also a lot better that I was back then, I still think of her daily but I almost pity her, she became dependent on weed alcohol and tobacco to number the pain of the breakup whereas I really did improve and change my life, I'm not nearly as sad as I was about the breakup and I'm pretty much at the point now where if she doesnt come back it's not the end of the world :) trust me it WILL get better I know how horrible it feels right now but with time the pain dwindles and the memories become happy again rather than sad. Good luck!
What i like about coach lee is how he is willing to point out how many people are not fit to advise people about anything. There are so many bad apples working in psychology it is unreal people who have no skill in anything other than telling others what do. ditto for politicians.
I’m 21 years old and have been in 3 relationships my first was with a girl and go I thought I loved but she was just my first and I didn’t know the first thing about love. She broke up with me for personal reasons. I still care about her and forever will. My second was a complete whore, pardon my language. Had extreme daddy issues. My third who just broke up with me. I loved with all my heart and I have her everything she wanted. She is very complex and is still finding out what she wants. I don’t think I can stop loving her. I’ve been doing no contact for 2 weeks now and I’m staying persistent and I know the point and effectiveness of this and I get how it is a mature response. There is nothing I wanna do more than call her or text her or write her a letter but I will not. I will stay persistent. Coach lee your the man and I respect the hell out of you. Thank you
Its been 3 weeks and she hasnt reached out but in spite of that the last thing i want to do is get back with her. no contact method is fool proof and it really brings you to your knees. not only is it a mature response but it really matures you and puts you outside the bubble and makes you think rationally and that my friends it what heals you. so.. dont chase it will only numb your minf from rationality. stay persistent and dont give up on yourself and remember there is a man or women out there for you that will give you the love and the friendship you deserve. coach lee is the god of relationship advice. once again thank you
Coach Lee is a real man! Im bi and i can speak from both sides 😂😂 I heard so many coaches and honestly hes the most manly, human natured, intelligent and the fact hes good looking and how he speaks of people you know hes a genuine dude!!! You inspired me to not only stay in no contact but to focus on me inside even more and embrace my days! Thanks bro your the man!!!
Nah bro I am doing the 30 days no contact rule. But I won't contact them at the end and just start the 30 days period over and over untill they reach out 😁 (in all seriousness your coaching is the best, it's a blessing for everyone that your chanel exists)
Completely agree with this video. 1. I bough my ex a personalised birthday card with all her favourite things on the front and it played one of her favourite songs and for Valentine’s Day I made her a dozen roses out of paper did it work, no it didn’t. 2. I cannot comment on as my ex hasn’t reached out but if she did like hell I would ignore her and that’s not just because she my ex and I’d like her back it’s just common curtesy and polite and that number 3. 4. You should never stop try to improve yourself weather it to get your ex back or it’s a New Years resolution. We are human and we never stop learning.
You can be the the best person in the world u do every thing right put them number one befor yourself dumpers never see it u know why because they will always have in there back of their minds they can find some one else better than you!
@Ben thank you for your Help. But it conflicts why my personal beliefs. I will get by with God and his help to heal me. But thank you for trying to be helpful. If he loves me and Missed he’ll come back, if not, I’ll wait on God to heal me and move on. Coach Lee is a great help too.
My GF & I, 17 months relationship. Broke up 11 days ago. 3 days later I text & Apologized if i hurt her, next day she text & Apologized for not showing her love more clearer. Today would've been day 7 NC. It's also my Birthday. I woke up & thought she won't even remember it's my birthday and if she does she won't reach out! I got my coffee, sat down, looked at my phone & BOOM She text early in the morning. She sent a HB image & typed HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANY BLESSINGS! Every Bone in my body was saying tell her you miss & love her & want to work it out. I text. Good morning Thank you Hope your doing well! I'm not going to ignore her because if I did, I know she is the type who wouldn't reach out again. Fear of rejection! Breadcrumbs? Maybe! Did she open the door? Is she looking for something more? We will see. I saw another therapist video say Don't reply! To me that's crazy. I'm not going to ignore her even if she text Hi!! I'll keep is polite, short & Stay on topic.
In regards to improving yourself, I came up with this quote: “Have the ambition to strive for perfection and the wisdom to know it can never be achieved”
thanks for the video Mr coach Lee it's really cool video, Since my breakup with my ex girlfriend almost 2 years I started watching your videos, I never listen to friends advices to move on and some other couches around on TH-cam 😄 . In the beginning after breakup I did hate and anger with my ex girlfriend but with time passes I started be more calm, relax and happy hopefully I can have a chance to meet her again as almost 2 years never heard news from her or stalking her social media. Thanks Mr Lee
Literally my ex phoned me tonight purposely for me to listen in to a phone call with his 'friends' over me being disrespectful over him being on a dating website two weeks after our 'break' that a friend sent a screenshot of and him admitting to snorting coke tonight. And me being rude saying all the effort love and care I gave. Honestly he wasn't worth the 3 months i spent hoping. I hate him with all my heart. But thank-you. You helped me through it all x
Oh I know who you are talking about when you say beta.., lol that person to me has a chip on her shoulder and REALLY HAS SOMETHING AGAINST MEN! I believe you Coach Lee.. I watched that person and I knew it was Horrific advice..,
Thank you so much coach Lee. 🙏🏻 Watching all your videos everyday. Really helped me calm down everytime I want to breakdown and just cry. It helps me compose myself have faith and move forward. 🙏🏻 More blessings to you
100 days today since my break-up. Never really been in "No Contact" other than being blocked on every platform available, and being ignored in person unless absolutely necessary. We work together so its not really viable anyway. We've had a couple of brief conversations but nothing "deep". Reality is, he knows I'm not going anywhere. And that's how I want it. He has deep abandonment issues and I'm being consistent, showing up for myself and letting him know that I'm still in the background when he's ready. Not really bothered if this places me in a "weak" position - he's rebounded to his toxic cardigan anyway as he always does. Eventually they will break up and he will return to where he feels happy. With me. Relationships built on lies, manipulation and control don't last. Sooner or later that stuff bites you in the ass. She demanded he cut me off, so he did. Eventually that will work against her. He has to reach that decision though. But I have time and patience and I don't want to be with anybody else. As he fell in love with who I am, and our break-up was to do with his emotional issues, rather than anything major that either of us did wrong, there's not a lot to "improve" on, so I'm just taking the time to work on my communication skills, and how best to help him heal his issues. Lots of research going on etc. Thing to remember is, the lessons we are given by coaches can be amazing, or they can be really shit. But one thing they have to be is generic. They can't know ALL the details of each couple and their issues, and so on. You have to take the information and make it the best fit for your own situation. What would work for one, wouldn't necessarily work for someone else. In my own example, if I was to do "No contact" as outlined by many coaches, it would sound the death bell for any chance of reconnection, because my ex would consider it proof of my complete rejection and abandonment of him like everybody else in his life and he would never come back. If I maintain a quiet active presence in his life, he will know that I am still there, and be comfortable knowing that when he wants to, he can reach out to me and I will grab his hand and pull him up. It doesn't make me a doormat, it makes me the one person he knows he can rely on to take the shit that his subconscious core wounds throws up, and still come up fighting for him. I'm secure and emotionally strong, so its not a problem for me. 8 years I have been in his life, and i know him better than anybody. Good luck everybody.
What you said is romantic and I admire your loyalty but you are helping him move on. You are the backup he does not want. We do not know what we have until it is gone.
after 2 1/2 months of no contact my ex reaches out, he said he will go abroad for work thats why he contact me, he also said he loves me but not the same as before and i think he fall inlove with someone :(
Thanks! I did the 30 days NC and when I did reach out she said she didn't want the relationship. I kept on texting with no replies. I stopped after some weeks, about 7 months ago. It was absolutely devastating combined with the bloody lockdown in a foreign country. What I can say is that me sending those messages to her somewhat helped to give me a sense of continuity. I know I helped her to move away, but what fkn darkness and disintegration feeling. The compromises I made at the beginning of the relationship led to this, plus normal stuff common in long term relationships. I learned that even if I don't fully like the person, I still get attached. She was smoking cannabis and I thought I could cure that. I did for 3 yrs.. Then she had been overweight, that I couldn't cure and she got back to her normal shape, probably the regression to the mean.. One day I will be happy 😊
Told ex 30 days not to contact me. He dumped me. My real time line is that I will NEVER contact him first. I gave that to him so I could have a break from his self serving ego texts.
If you can't enjoy yourself even for just 3 days what will they think about being with you. Forget them and start having fun, take advantage of the alone time you didn't get with them.
MDHorror Thx. Surprisingly enough she reaches out to me now, but I do think she’s ‘bread crumbing’ me, or making sure I’m just an option. She will text me with a insignificant text every other day and I do reply as Lee says to, but with a closed ended response. I haven’t moved on by any means, but I’m nowhere near the place I was when I posted this comment. Others comments actually helped motivate me as weird as it sounds. Thx again. Shit sucks.
But why do you think it's ok to break someones heart... and then slither back with a simple ''hey'' and think thats enough ? I agree with Lucia on this, they need to say something substantial otherwise they're not worth your time x
brothers! Let me tell u something .the more u chase the more she will lose intrest on u.dont give them a chance to control ur emotions. Be a alpha male. Just don't wait for ur ex gf. Move on and focus on urself
Alpha what joke..do you know what a true alpha is? Men must always have options we were not born to chase we were born to hunt. Men selects Women chooses I know that if I go to a club about 20 women will choose me regardless of what they see in me. Is my job to select the women I find the complements me. I select but because as Male I don't hide the fact that I'm a sexual man therefore it will be and insult to treat women like they are still virgins.. My pool tends to get bigger because I'm not a shame of what I'm. If a woman tell me, you're going to fast, ill apologize is in my nature to go for what I'm attracted to, let's start again my name is César. I know your name tell me more about you. Is not about muscles which I have is what you as a Male show to the world and more importantly is never ever show-off to anyone specially to women. Do it for yourself and yourself alone thats what is going to make you attractive ( to attract). ✌
@@corchef007 ithink udidnt get my point and ur teaching others what real alpha is🤣.evry man knows what a real alpha is .we dont need ur teachings. Coach lee is here to teach broken hearts
@@cartoonworld1631 @cartoon world Nope men don't know how to be alpha Is not about dominace is about leadership. For that you must have 3 qualities. 1. Reciprocity 2. Faireness 3. Cooperation Without does qualities your life will be a mess, so no matter what relationship you will have now or in the future you will sabotage yourself always. And without a doubt 100% that will happen every single time forever... Is not about fixing a broken heart. Is the how. How are you sabotaging yourself. People's concern is to adress the elephant in the room but not on How it will be remove. ✌
I had an ex tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me and he was back 46 days later…Coach Lee is so on point when he says around 45 days and to ignore what they say when they dump you!
This man knows his staff, am confident and comfortable to listen am am currently taking his advice and implementing them, thank you couch Lee, needed to hear this
I listened to a coach who told me to be friends with an ex because we only dated about a month...so I did but then he tried to cross the friendship line while under the influence and I had to cut it off. I can't keep playing referree because he can't accept my flaws. So I said we need to separate and have been doing NC since March 1st. :)
I love your videos! I am the dumper and making a trip to a England after 9 weeks NC with ny ex to try and fix things. I regretted immediately after the breakup and tried to talk to him but he didn’t want to talk so I have been giving us both space but I miss him badly so hopefully this trip will work!! 🙏🏽
Coach Lee you are good. I've listened to a couple other coaches. What you say makes much more sense to me and I like the fact that you explain the science behind some of these things, the brain chemicals etc.
Autographed Star Wars merchandise. Messages in a bottle. Well, there is creativity out there I guess. Lol. Don’t need to do any of that nonsense. I agree...
I love this guy, I keep failing but he is my rock. Yeah can only make it a week with no contact. Day 35 of break up. Messaged her today, but just asked for a video she made of me so I can use it on my TH-cam channel. She asked if I flew back to Florida and so other question. I answered politely and just moved on with my day.
I did a 67-day no contact technique. Then, when I texted her for a day after that, she didn’t respond. Then, I did an additional 14-day no-contact technique and she responded after that.
@@angel-pp5gj we actually went pumpkin picking together a few weeks ago, with another girl. I’m not saying that they’re both single, but that it’s a possibility.
My experience I had relationships that last 3 years 4 years even 6 years and not another ex ever called me I did no contact I better myself after each relationship I did everything right I was the best guy in the f****** planet and the women still walk out of my life at the end of the day it all boils down to love if they in love with you then they will contact me if they not in love with you they just going to keep moving on to the next person it doesn't matter no contact doesn't work for everybody it might work but it might be temporary that's my experience and I feel like a lot of it has to boil down to love if that person really cares for you or loves you but they don't love you or they not in love with you it's not going to work there's no contacts not going to work and they keep moving it doesn't it doesn't matter you can be alpha male you can be a beta male you can have money you could be a poor person it doesn't matter if the person doesn't love you they're not going to contact me that's just the way life is they keep moving on
15:33 This is so true Lee. i might be wrong, but i have the assumption that nowadays too many young people seek advice on the internet and not in irl that they end up listening to some other inexperienced people and take it as good advice. There's no beta or alpha male/female. People who think that way need to accept that being flawed or doing something unsuccessful happens to everyone. whatever your ideal of an "Alpha male" is it's just some guy who also has doubts, wrongs and fears, just like you. So believe in yourself and work on improvement.
Coaches say after 7 days to contact them. Because waiting longer than a month means they are moving on without you. If someone doesn’t have attraction for you after a breakup, especially if they find someone else, you doing nothing for so long isn’t going to help. What about meeting with them and showing them you are a new person?
***I need some help in my situation. I'm not sure if I'll ever get my ex back, and I feel my situation is kind of unique, and I need some advice!*** Me and my ex are both 17, and she is very independent. She want to leave our town, and move 4 hours away to attend college right after high school. (we live in Dallas, and she wants to go to Houston). During the relationship, I will admit, I let it consume me. I was not independent, had no real hobbies, and at any command of hers, I would be right there. She was in control. However, during the last month or so of our relationship, she was acting very different, and distance. At this time too, she also started to hang out with her guy friend more and more. This obviously made me upset, and every time I would try to confront her about it, it would only lead to arguments. I would ask for the smallest things to make me comfortable, such as us all meeting up and hanging out once, but she refused. Then one night, I was over at her house, and exploded on her about her guy friend, because they were doing some sketchy stuff in my eyes. She then agreed and said it wasn't right of her or fair for her to do it to me, and that she wanted to break up. She felt like she had no room to grow in the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself in the relationship. This is understandable as for the past two years of her life she's been in relationships, and has not really progressed as much as she would have liked to. She also felt like she needed to go to Houston by herself, as she did not want the pressure of me being there entirely for her on her shoulders.We broke up on the 11th, and we both share a mutual friend who which I get a lot of info from, and its NOT looking good for my situation. She tells him she is the happiest she's ever been, and also she has been hanging out with that guy, and doing sketchy, more than friends things, like doing his eyebrows. She even told my friend that he had such pretty eyes. That kind of killed me. They are going to go fishing tomorrow together, and honestly I'm scared. This isn't some random guy mind you, she's been best friends with this guy for 2 years now, and they have both had feelings for each other in the past, but are now both single, bc he just got out of a relationship. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I'm trying to stay strong during no contact. She has reached out twice though, the first was just to check up on me, like 2 days after the break up. She started crying, and said that was the first time she cried about the break up. The second time was just cause she needed me to get her birth certificate which she thought she left in my car. I looked for it and couldn't find it, then hung up. We were together for 9 months, and best friends for a year prior. This was not a cringey highschool relationship. We are both pretty mature, and we told eachother everything, and really cared for eachother. I just don't know how she's gonna feel after no contact. Would she even want to be with me, if she's gonna leave for Houston in like 7 months anyway? Im not sure to convey to her I want to go to Houston with her, and that we CAN work things out! Over this time I know all the ways i messed up, not taking her seriously, ignoring her, all that. I'm really lost right now, and everyday hurts. She was my everything, and everyday is dark without her.
Coach Lee. I'm also a Life coach and base in my Emotional Intelligence. I can assure you only 5% in the world have a balance Emotional Intelligence.. What you preach is common sense and manipulation entertaining by the way. Much respect.. Is like taking a roller-coaster and expecting to go someplace else. Take bribe for example. Is not new thats the first manipulation a child's learn after they finish their tantrum. ( if you stop ill buy you and Icream) The reality, people don't grow they just get bigger. The more I walk in this world the less humans I see. I haven't meet yet a single person that matches IQ with EQ not a single one. People live with a mentality One size fits all.( the major reason they get con) And the biggest manipulation of all Self-pity. ( Self-pity is how you create martyrs). THATS WHY YOU MISS YOUR EX. People don't want to accept responsibility so because of it they will internalize as self wallowing going back to Self-pity Why simple is a great way to create attention even is negative attention is still attention. The moment coaches can change WHY for I that will be the moment the individual will accept the HOW.
I left my girlfriend because of the lack of emotional intelligence. I was with her for 1 year thats the limit a person must have if everything is already exhausted. People needs to understand when the investment is no longer profitable.. The same way is a relationship.. I'm glad you're happy. I wish the best.
#2 is spot on for me because I’m the same way. If I reach out and don’t get a response I just leave it alone thinking the person is not interested. I do not chase anyone...period!! ✌🏾 I also tend to believe what people say and not make up something different in my mind. If he says “I don’t think I can give you what you need” I believe it. I don’t start trying to convince him that he can..he’s been with himself his whole life...he knows what he can or cannot do. 🤷🏾♀️
Omg coach lee my hero my coach who made to help me to this journey I’m forever ♾ thank ful to you. All of this I have is shared with you and if I had a chance to met you “1 day I’m glad” thanks universe for guiding me to this grate person from the first day of this journey now.. we’re progressing and progressing I also bought his kit last June to show gratefully too.. 🍾 🍃 August 15,2020 yesterday he invites me already to a long way travel 🧭 to a place we been all the time where beach 🏖 have and his childhood memories and the place where we both planning both home b4.. but I’m slowly too as coach lee” thank you. He also asking me about future plans like” how about this land?”to buy land?
My bf broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Out of blue. A week ago before that I found out that he was cheating (mainly has been texting with few girls) and we had a talk. He admitted his guilt, apologized and told me that he loved me very much, that this was the best relationship he ever had and decided that we did not want to change anything. 5 days later the this event he told me that he was not that in love with me anymore and he thanked me for the best 5 years that we have shared together. We had the best connection ever, we almost never argued and we were best friends. Ofc he asked me to stay friends with him but i could not. We never had a perfect relationship cuz of our families and religious diversities. We were just fine by that and we were happy (I think). Broke NC on the 16th day (I regret it) now it has been 7 days of NC . It hurts to be rejected by someone you love so much. I want to believe in NC, but i am not sure if he is ever coming back. I am just so lost
Coach Lee, how about a video about managing the negative emotions that come with the end of no contact? That first conversation, that's tense, scary, anxiety ridden... How do you keep your calm and make sure you don't dive back into past issues?
Oh I went to some horrible ones who just advertised themselves really well and sold a faster image or concept that made me feel good about myself. Ngl some coach lee videos are fucking hard to watch. I gotta pause like damn he’s right I really made some big mistakes thinking I was nailing it. I wasn’t. Please if you are going through a few, trust me, stick to coach lee.
Mind you I haven’t gotten her back, it’s been 6 weeks. And ive been on no contact for 5 days, let that shit set. But regardless, since starting no contact and watching coach lee I just feel better about it. Whether she Reaches out or not I work out more, have a great diet, meditate and read more regularly go out and snorkel, surf and hang more. Drink less and save better. Off I just feel good about life more and I know if she reaches out she’s gonna be impressed. I wish she reached out today but I’m comforted by the thought that the longer sh takes the better me I’m gonna be when she sees me.
OK, so if there is so much controversy on whether to answer the dumper back, when they do contact.....why not just go with this middle of the road rule: Wait another week and then reach out? Not a game, but just a way to possibly prevent permanent loss, but also gives time for additional attraction and uncertainty to build in dumper?
9:57, I don’t know if the no contact will work for me. He broke up with me, so I had to move out after 2 years together, and before I left he gave me a letter he wrote me. The letter said that he wishes me the best, that he is sorry this didn’t work out bit that he hopes that I can find the man of my dreams. Then he signed with respect and gratitude. Idk it seems that its pretty much over.
My ex and I have been broken up for 7.5 months. She jumped straight into a rebound relationship. Her reasons for breaking up were that she felt pressured by her family after I met them because they liked me. She said I was becoming too much a part of her life. (She is fearful avoidant) we had an intense connection and she was push pulling me during the relationship but I never pressured her. I've been no contact for the last 5 months and o recently had to remove her from my social media because seeing her with this new guy was stopping me from moving on. She told me she loved me for the first time the week after we broke up and she looked so torn. She even kissed me as I walked her home. Twice! And then she backed away again and said we are just friends. I've been heart broken because I can see when she isn't freaking out things between us could be great between us.. she fucked it up lol
A few weeks ago my ex suddenly blocked me with no explanation. I think it was because I was too needy. A week ago I sent her a book I had bought her before the relationship ended. She texted me saying 'thanks but it wasnt necessary'. I responded by text. I have utterly no idea whether she received my text. I might still be blocked. Ill leave her be. Im not superb at no contact but even after 2 weeks she was good enough to say thanks. Even if im blocked Im extremely confident shell reach out to me if I just leave her alone. She knows i could get around the block but that will not help. I could text her on a different phone or ring on a landline. No contact does work particularly if you have begged and chased. If you cease contact altogether after being too needy the change is dramatic. They'll notice extremely quickly. These videos are really helpful in making me a better person. At a very simple level i hate being blocked but she is smart enough to unblock me if I give her space. In time I would enjoy being friends. In the mean time ill respect her need for space. One issue I have is whether I want to resume a relationship with her. At times she wasnt respectful of me. For example, blocking me without warning or discussion wasnt respextful.
Ahhh so that's why my ex reached out to me after a week 🤣💀 he couldn't even wait at least a month. Or the 45 days. I was trying to give him space and respect myself. I know he wanted to hang out last week, but if he really did why didn't he text me and say. "Hey I haven't heard from you. Are you ok? You still wanna hang out today?" I was waiting on him to text me, so I gave up.
It's 27 March today. Day 8 of NC. I commit myself to not contacting her till the beginning of June. Let's see what happens. Whether she approaches me before that, whether I would feel still invested in her that I proceed with contacting her, and if I do what she responds with. Interesting indeed, meanwhile I will focus on bettering myself, my studies my health.
Breakups are the same ...I recommend an fully listen to couch lee advice cause it's work very well and it's the best behavior to act in this breakup situation. Kelvin From Mozambique 🇲🇿 Africa ... I have been in this situation and my ex return to me, mouths later.
I did not to contact like 3 months. When I contact him he never reply. Now almost 9 months we broke up. Because we are LDR. Hard but I need to accept the fact we are done.
CAN YOU RELATE? So it's been about four months of no contact. Me and my ex work together. She's my boss and sits right next to me. I'm her right hand at work. So imagine the struggle I go through daily. So today we spoke about almost everything. She had been seeing someone else she told me they made out, she enjoyed it and wasn't thinking of me when it happened. But she said it didn't mean anything. It honestly broke me when I heard that. Cause it felt cold. Like am empty heart. But I told her I appreciated the truth because I was understanding and I told her I've reflected on myself and my past self how I was. She is somewhat of the relief stage probably but she has moved towards me again. At times she doesn't seem to let me go. She always seems my attention when I don't give it to her. Even jokes sexually. Love is definitely a battlefield and in my mind it's a warfare.
My wife left, she blocked me. Started NC 4 days after. She was stalking me through her friends. I started a healthy diet, a business.. yes it hurt as hell but thanks coach. Now on day 31 of NC and im starting to realize that I married someone that does not fight for anything in life. Anyways, not going to chase.
I was taking in a lot of bad relationship advise from a self-proclaimed, "relationship guru", here on TH-cam, which completely ruined my chances of ever getting my ex back, IMO. I wish I could of found Coach Lee before that other guy because I probably could of saved my last relationship.
3 months and no contact from his side , he just seen my story post on social media, he broke up with me bcz I fight with him to much , I'm madly missing him now
Mr Lee you was like a best friend to me last few weeks.i have learnt so much about relationships.thank you very much and I must say I do enjoy your videos x
![SAFEPLANET - ดาวเคราะห์ [ THE PLANET ]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/4X1XL3I_k3c/mqdefault.jpg)
I feel like this video kind of establishes Coach Lee as the head honcho of relationship coaches. He slaps down the nonsense that a lot of the others keep repeating. Plus, "You want your ex back. It's not a crime" is 😂💯🔥
So true CZ
My wife demanded the breakup . I am waiting for her to ask for a divorce and I want her back. What should I do?
@@genesebelius4466 what should you do? Watch coach lee videos 😑 best advice.
Pretty.
@@genesebelius4466 same boat mate miss her like the desert miss the rain
I would be lost without this channel.
Yes, coach Lee is awesome!
Me too! I also watch him out of pure entertainment 😂
Is anyone else just crying uncontrollably? Almost 6 weeks since the break up and I feel like the pain is getting worse.
I cried for about 2 days after but it will hit me again I’m sure .. it’s only been a. Week but I miss him but he isn’t my world
Same. You’re not alone. I hope you start to feel better soon.
Give yourself grace. I’m approaching week 2 and I feel it getting somewhat harder as well
Stay strong . Remember your happiness is a priority , dont let othee people ruin it. have a great day and good luck 💪
I cry like that four days ago when my baby daddy come over we been together for 8 years n been broken up almost a year but he lie n so now I block him but I did get closer we had sex it was good so I kind of get want I want but I kind of what my family back but it was better to get closer and move on because it was to painful to looking at him n remember why we broken up he hurt me n my kids so bad
The thing is, you can do all the work and become unrecognizable, but if your ex doesnt self reflect and do some work themselves, they will end up resenting you for being better without them. Both parties should work on themselves in order for the relationship to be better the next time around.
🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
Yes! Never date a “potential”, date someone who can meet you where you are
True my ex hated that I was doing okay without them she took it asa sign I never cared. NC and Lees advice still worked though.
I hope coach lee lives on forever.
Honestly I feel like anyone in relationships should be watching these videos, and even before a relationship. Just so we can learn to be better people ourselves. Relationships are like a cake in a oven!! I wish I knew this before I tried to rush things. I hope I can teach someone else my mistakes so they won't make them.
My 57 year old single brother just received a call from an ex girlfriend from 25 years ago. So be prepared.
😅😅
😄😄😄😄😄😄
Lol
😆
@Mihai Balint 🤣🤣🤣
every time you reach out to your ex, you reset the clock, they're also more than likely in a situationship with another person as well, don't contact or look at there social media cause everything could be traced, focus on becoming a better you & more than likely they'll reach out, it took me a year to realize this & she just reached out earlier this week. everything coach lee has thought me is 100% spot on. also NEVER block your ex on anything. let them enjoy your show
@@UnknownH9 Then she does not want you to bother her.
Oh YES AND YOU SAID YOU WANT YOUR EX BACK!!! OH ITS NOT A CRIME!!!! Thank YOU !! Not mentioning names but it’s a crime according to their advice!! Whoever heard such nonsense!! We aren’t or is anyone on this planet mentally challenged for wanting our Ex back!! It proves we Love through thick and Thin! That makes all of US UNIQUE AND DIFFERENT!! We Are human and no one is perfect!!!
I never clicked on a video so fast before! Your videos really comfort me in this difficult time! Thank you so much
Me too. We'll get through this together
Me too...because of quarantine Coach Lee has being doing this consistently. Thank you Coach Lee
Me also! Tough, tough time and feel so anxious, but these videos are helping me. Love to all. 🧡
Johnny Smith sure Jan. Reported btw.
She came back It all unfolded exactly as you described. After months of me being a boring old fart and taking her for granted she broke up and sent me packing 3000 miles home to the airport. It was pretty final. The same day I actually started to detatch from her and began to believe I was seeing the RS from a new perspective she messaged me. It really is like they sense the shift. She straight up poured her heart out no BS and after talking we understood each other and she wants me back. Don't break NC and stay positive people! Thanks again Coach Lee I was lucky to find this channel your advice 1000% works.
Here is my tip and something I did the night she reached out (not intentionally but guess it works) (and mentioned to me) : If you have a profile picture together keep it up! Or if it is one they took of you. Because you did not change it straight away they know you didn't do it out of raw emotions like anger. Then after a couple of weeks once they are over the relief stage and wondering if you have moved on delete it and make a new one of just you. This will make them think you are starting to move on at the same time they miss you and really instill a sense of loss.
Great tip!
That last paragraph was genius... how is it going today?
work on yourself, learn your value, give yourself time and you’ll never need anyone else
❤️
It's surprising to me that some people think they want to live without love.
@@KingoftheJuice18 Hard to live without love..yes..I agree..
🥳🥳🥳THANK YOU COACH LEE!!!🥳🥳🥳
No contact does work - as Coach Lee says, "believe & trust!" After 8 years together, we broke up in July, & he moved out. I was DEVASTATED. I never ever in a million years thought he would actually move out. We talked off & on in August because we were both confused about what we wanted, if we could fix things, etc. And then he met the "rebound". When I found out about HER, I finally told him we don't need to talk anymore and to leave me alone. That was last Wednesday. I did not contact him again. He showed up at my door this afternoon. I was shocked, to say the least - i thought he'd moved on. Well, apparently he dumped the rebound & wants to come home. I told him I wasn't sure, we still have a LOT to discuss & things to work out. I'm not sure what will happen, but we agreed to get together sometime this weekend to "talk". 🙏🤞🙏
You are spot on. I do not understand how any sane person can give him a thumbs down.
05:46 i love your passion for helping people stay together. You're such a lovely guy.
When we first started falling in love she wrote me a note saying "No matter where I go I will always find my way back to you". When we first broke up she was afraid we would not find those feelings but we became even stronger. We have broken up 3 times already but we are both learning issues in our characters that we are changing. If two people love each other they will come back and try. Hopefully this is the last one.
I will reach out on Day 46, then... 😂😂😂 Coach, I'm going crazy with the wait, but it's so silly to rush things... and now I understand. My goal is to hold on at least until the end of the 3rd month to reach out, and I know that many exes even take longer than that. Friends, please pray for me if you can. Clinical depression makes things even more challenging... Thank you for making us laugh, Coach 🧡 You're a beautiful being.
Pls tell me how your NC was and all the details. I'm on day 5 and I'm so terrified that he is with someone else
@@shaut9120 my ex got with someone else after about a week. It's normal. If y'all had something special, it's just her scared of being alone. It'll be a rebound Bec she misses you. She'll come crawling back after it blows. Probably around 1-4 weeks. If she gets with someone new. Other than that, wait
..update?
So glad I watched this, I watched a video earlier that said about messaging a woman after a week of NC! Sent my mind into overdrive 😅 Out of all the channels out there, I feel like Lee has our best interests at heart ❤️
It's been about a year since my break up and I have since moved on and in an amazing relationship with someone who is better. I watched these videos obsessively when the break up was fresh and man, did they help uplift me out of a very dark place. I can for sure say that his no contact advice and avoiding ignoring your ex was some deeply powerful advice. My ex reached out to me multiple times after I went no contact. Love Coach Lee, he's the man.
I wouldn't advise to reach out to ex. The best thing to do is (it's hard I know), during the break up, simply telling "okay, I understand. If you change your mind, tell me". THEN it's the best time to start no contact. Building up yourself, sharing great stories on social media (don't block your ex! May them see how fine you doin'). If your ex reaches out to you, text/call back after a few hours. Don't say them you miss them, don't show any emotions. Just doin' fine, thanks. Do it until your ex will decide to come back to you (or if not, their lose).
I just want my control back the pain will leave one day 😔
I had the same sh*t. What helped me is to work on my self making me self attractief u will be happier and u will have control back
LoRd Maqfay it’s so hard but I know it’s doable
You have full control of yourself :)
Mackie, the pain lessens every day. As you work on you, your life will become wide open; reflect on yourself and enjoy your life.
How are you feeling now??
Coach Lee knows his stuff.
@@MichaelREFLECTS If she really loved him she would of reached out again, works both ways.
@@MichaelREFLECTS 😅😅😅
Thanks coach, i watched a lot of your videos, they helped me a lot. I went no contact, and i have grew personally and moved on and found 1000x better woman.
5 months and counting since my DA ex broke up with me (AA) . We were dating 2 1/2 years. BTW we had no fighting, nothing. The breakup hit me out of blue over the phone. I reached out via text end of June due to a natural disaster in our town...he responded asap and appeared to miss our chats and my company and we had nice flow of back to back texting for 4 days then he went silent. Note: a day after break up, I saw him on the Hwy happily driving and talking to a short girl in his passenger seat (he did not see me). It was crushing. I couldnt believe he may have dumped me to jump into a relationship with said mystery chick. Especially since he was the most honest, godfearing, religious, do right, exmilitary, good samaritan person on the planet. It made no sense. Within these 5 months, i caught him passing by my house about 3 times.(which is a reach for him geographically)...but also saw him on Hwy driving with her about 3,4 different occasions. Not sure who mystery short chick is. Well, yesterday i had surgery...i wanted badly to reach out to him but didnt. I miss him as a bf and wish i had his love n support thru this ordeal but i dont. It kills me. He has no idea but prob wouldnt care at this point. I still love him. And want us back but i dont know how this will play out. Hes extreme Dissmissive Avoidant and Im Anxious Attachemnt. The mystery chick gotta be a rebound. I dont know what to think and any advice is appreciated. Thanks!
I've been in no contact for about 1.5 months, and coach lee is still my go to when I start feeling anxious and like i need to take some sort of action. I'm thinking of reaching out to my ex girlfriend after about 2-2.5 months of no contact.
I broke no contact because of my anxiety day 54. I told him that I had his stuff and he responded nicely. Kept the convo short. It eased my pain a little. Started no contact on Day 4 today and getting my stuff next week!
I think you’ll know by 2.5 months if you still want to reach out
@@youloveemelia so she contacted me pretty much exactly 3 months after the breakup, we went out a few times and she said she wasnt closed to the idea of trying again, we went out and had a few good times after that but then a month ago we went for coffee and she said she needs space, I was really understanding and a few days later she messaged me thanking me for being so understanding but since then I havent heard from her. I was really sceptical about no contact at first but it really does work, she reached out to me after 3 months and she said breaking up with me was one of the most dificult things shes ever done, trust no contact, stick with personal improvement and focus on yourself as much as you possibly can and I can almost garuntee you'll hear from them when you least expect it. I'm also a lot better that I was back then, I still think of her daily but I almost pity her, she became dependent on weed alcohol and tobacco to number the pain of the breakup whereas I really did improve and change my life, I'm not nearly as sad as I was about the breakup and I'm pretty much at the point now where if she doesnt come back it's not the end of the world :) trust me it WILL get better I know how horrible it feels right now but with time the pain dwindles and the memories become happy again rather than sad. Good luck!
Pls give us an update. I'm struggling
@@destinyzakiahirl8539 how are things now
What i like about coach lee is how he is willing to point out how many people are not fit to advise people about anything. There are so many bad apples working in psychology it is unreal people who have no skill in anything other than telling others what do. ditto for politicians.
Avoidant personalities don’t really admit they were wrong in these situations. Especially if they did the breakup
I’m 21 years old and have been in 3 relationships my first was with a girl and go I thought I loved but she was just my first and I didn’t know the first thing about love. She broke up with me for personal reasons. I still care about her and forever will. My second was a complete whore, pardon my language. Had extreme daddy issues. My third who just broke up with me. I loved with all my heart and I have her everything she wanted. She is very complex and is still finding out what she wants. I don’t think I can stop loving her. I’ve been doing no contact for 2 weeks now and I’m staying persistent and I know the point and effectiveness of this and I get how it is a mature response. There is nothing I wanna do more than call her or text her or write her a letter but I will not. I will stay persistent. Coach lee your the man and I respect the hell out of you. Thank you
Its been 3 weeks and she hasnt reached out but in spite of that the last thing i want to do is get back with her. no contact method is fool proof and it really brings you to your knees. not only is it a mature response but it really matures you and puts you outside the bubble and makes you think rationally and that my friends it what heals you. so.. dont chase it will only numb your minf from rationality. stay persistent and dont give up on yourself and remember there is a man or women out there for you that will give you the love and the friendship you deserve. coach lee is the god of relationship advice. once again thank you
Keep us posted
Coach Lee is a real man! Im bi and i can speak from both sides 😂😂 I heard so many coaches and honestly hes the most manly, human natured, intelligent and the fact hes good looking and how he speaks of people you know hes a genuine dude!!! You inspired me to not only stay in no contact but to focus on me inside even more and embrace my days! Thanks bro your the man!!!
Nah bro I am doing the 30 days no contact rule. But I won't contact them at the end and just start the 30 days period over and over untill they reach out 😁 (in all seriousness your coaching is the best, it's a blessing for everyone that your chanel exists)
Completely agree with this video.
1. I bough my ex a personalised birthday card with all her favourite things on the front and it played one of her favourite songs and for Valentine’s Day I made her a dozen roses out of paper did it work, no it didn’t.
2. I cannot comment on as my ex hasn’t reached out but if she did like hell I would ignore her and that’s not just because she my ex and I’d like her back it’s just common curtesy and polite and that number 3.
4. You should never stop try to improve yourself weather it to get your ex back or it’s a New Years resolution. We are human and we never stop learning.
It won't with gifts or begging
So thankful for being able to find this amazing channel, golden
Your videos are getting funnier and you're starting to master your message, it's evolving as tight as that haircut has been lol 💪
You can be the the best person in the world u do every thing right put them number one befor yourself dumpers never see it u know why because they will always have in there back of their minds they can find some one else better than you!
You’re a lifesaver! A source of comfort
in this difficult time!!
@Ben thank you for your Help. But it conflicts why my personal beliefs. I will get by with God and his help to heal me.
But thank you for trying to be helpful. If he loves me and Missed he’ll come back,
if not, I’ll wait on God to heal me and move on.
Coach Lee is a great help too.
But I really like #2!
I want him to suffer! I'm teetering between responding when he contacts or making him dance for it.
My GF & I, 17 months relationship. Broke up 11 days ago.
3 days later I text & Apologized if i hurt her, next day she text & Apologized for not showing her love more clearer.
Today would've been day 7 NC.
It's also my Birthday. I woke up & thought she won't even remember it's my birthday and if she does she won't reach out! I got my coffee, sat down, looked at my phone & BOOM
She text early in the morning. She sent a HB image & typed HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANY BLESSINGS!
Every Bone in my body was saying tell her you miss & love her & want to work it out.
I text.
Good morning
Thank you
Hope your doing well!
I'm not going to ignore her because if I did, I know she is the type who wouldn't reach out again. Fear of rejection!
Breadcrumbs? Maybe! Did she open the door? Is she looking for something more? We will see.
I saw another therapist video say Don't reply! To me that's crazy.
I'm not going to ignore her even if she text Hi!!
I'll keep is polite, short & Stay on topic.
"I'm not your dancing monkey!" So true!
In regards to improving yourself, I came up with this quote:
“Have the ambition to strive for perfection and the wisdom to know it can never be achieved”
thanks for the video Mr coach Lee it's really cool video, Since my breakup with my ex girlfriend almost 2 years I started watching your videos, I never listen to friends advices to move on and some other couches around on TH-cam 😄 . In the beginning after breakup I did hate and anger with my ex girlfriend but with time passes I started be more calm, relax and happy hopefully I can have a chance to meet her again as almost 2 years never heard news from her or stalking her social media. Thanks Mr Lee
Literally my ex phoned me tonight purposely for me to listen in to a phone call with his 'friends' over me being disrespectful over him being on a dating website two weeks after our 'break' that a friend sent a screenshot of and him admitting to snorting coke tonight. And me being rude saying all the effort love and care I gave. Honestly he wasn't worth the 3 months i spent hoping. I hate him with all my heart. But thank-you. You helped me through it all x
Oh I know who you are talking about when you say beta.., lol that person to me has a chip on her shoulder and REALLY HAS SOMETHING AGAINST MEN! I believe you Coach Lee.. I watched that person and I knew it was Horrific advice..,
Thank you so much coach Lee. 🙏🏻 Watching all your videos everyday. Really helped me calm down everytime I want to breakdown and just cry. It helps me compose myself have faith and move forward. 🙏🏻 More blessings to you
100 days today since my break-up. Never really been in "No Contact" other than being blocked on every platform available, and being ignored in person unless absolutely necessary. We work together so its not really viable anyway. We've had a couple of brief conversations but nothing "deep".
Reality is, he knows I'm not going anywhere. And that's how I want it. He has deep abandonment issues and I'm being consistent, showing up for myself and letting him know that I'm still in the background when he's ready.
Not really bothered if this places me in a "weak" position - he's rebounded to his toxic cardigan anyway as he always does. Eventually they will break up and he will return to where he feels happy. With me. Relationships built on lies, manipulation and control don't last. Sooner or later that stuff bites you in the ass. She demanded he cut me off, so he did. Eventually that will work against her.
He has to reach that decision though. But I have time and patience and I don't want to be with anybody else.
As he fell in love with who I am, and our break-up was to do with his emotional issues, rather than anything major that either of us did wrong, there's not a lot to "improve" on, so I'm just taking the time to work on my communication skills, and how best to help him heal his issues. Lots of research going on etc.
Thing to remember is, the lessons we are given by coaches can be amazing, or they can be really shit. But one thing they have to be is generic. They can't know ALL the details of each couple and their issues, and so on. You have to take the information and make it the best fit for your own situation. What would work for one, wouldn't necessarily work for someone else.
In my own example, if I was to do "No contact" as outlined by many coaches, it would sound the death bell for any chance of reconnection, because my ex would consider it proof of my complete rejection and abandonment of him like everybody else in his life and he would never come back.
If I maintain a quiet active presence in his life, he will know that I am still there, and be comfortable knowing that when he wants to, he can reach out to me and I will grab his hand and pull him up. It doesn't make me a doormat, it makes me the one person he knows he can rely on to take the shit that his subconscious core wounds throws up, and still come up fighting for him. I'm secure and emotionally strong, so its not a problem for me.
8 years I have been in his life, and i know him better than anybody.
Good luck everybody.
What you said is romantic and I admire your loyalty but you are helping him move on. You are the backup he does not want. We do not know what we have until it is gone.
after 2 1/2 months of no contact my ex reaches out, he said he will go abroad for work thats why he contact me, he also said he loves me but not the same as before and i think he fall inlove with someone :(
Bro give them that space, give them the distance, give them the silent, give them all and move on never look back, the always feel guilty
Here’s to wishing Coach Lee would do coaching calls or emails!
Your videos bring me peace. Thank you for all you do.
Thanks! I did the 30 days NC and when I did reach out she said she didn't want the relationship. I kept on texting with no replies. I stopped after some weeks, about 7 months ago. It was absolutely devastating combined with the bloody lockdown in a foreign country. What I can say is that me sending those messages to her somewhat helped to give me a sense of continuity. I know I helped her to move away, but what fkn darkness and disintegration feeling. The compromises I made at the beginning of the relationship led to this, plus normal stuff common in long term relationships. I learned that even if I don't fully like the person, I still get attached. She was smoking cannabis and I thought I could cure that. I did for 3 yrs.. Then she had been overweight, that I couldn't cure and she got back to her normal shape, probably the regression to the mean.. One day I will be happy 😊
The one with the experience and the one just doing by gathering knowledge can be separated easily.
Told ex 30 days not to contact me. He dumped me. My real time line is that I will NEVER contact him first. I gave that to him so I could have a break from his self serving ego texts.
What sort of texts?
My discipline needs improvement. I can’t get past NC for 3 days. 😡
You r freaking weak
hahahahaha
3 days..waow!!!! you are a strong person!!!!
If you can't enjoy yourself even for just 3 days what will they think about being with you. Forget them and start having fun, take advantage of the alone time you didn't get with them.
You good brother, im on day 3 now, keep grinding. Dont pay attention to others shaming you.
MDHorror Thx. Surprisingly enough she reaches out to me now, but I do think she’s ‘bread crumbing’ me, or making sure I’m just an option. She will text me with a insignificant text every other day and I do reply as Lee says to, but with a closed ended response. I haven’t moved on by any means, but I’m nowhere near the place I was when I posted this comment. Others comments actually helped motivate me as weird as it sounds. Thx again. Shit sucks.
But why do you think it's ok to break someones heart... and then slither back with a simple ''hey'' and think thats enough ?
I agree with Lucia on this, they need to say something substantial otherwise they're not worth your time x
brothers! Let me tell u something .the more u chase the more she will lose intrest on u.dont give them a chance to control ur emotions. Be a alpha male. Just don't wait for ur ex gf. Move on and focus on urself
Alpha what joke..do you know what a true alpha is?
Men must always have options we were not born to chase we were born to hunt.
Men selects
Women chooses
I know that if I go to a club about 20 women will choose me regardless of what they see in me.
Is my job to select the women I find the complements me.
I select but because as Male I don't hide the fact that I'm a sexual man therefore it will be and insult to treat women like they are still virgins..
My pool tends to get bigger because I'm not a shame of what I'm.
If a woman tell me, you're going to fast, ill apologize is in my nature to go for what I'm attracted to, let's start again my name is César. I know your name tell me more about you.
Is not about muscles which I have is what you as a Male show to the world and more importantly is never ever show-off to anyone specially to women.
Do it for yourself and yourself alone thats what is going to make you attractive ( to attract).
✌
@@corchef007 ithink udidnt get my point and ur teaching others what real alpha is🤣.evry man knows what a real alpha is .we dont need ur teachings. Coach lee is here to teach broken hearts
@@cartoonworld1631 @cartoon world Nope men don't know how to be alpha
Is not about dominace is about leadership.
For that you must have 3 qualities.
1. Reciprocity
2. Faireness
3. Cooperation
Without does qualities your life will be a mess, so no matter what relationship you will have now or in the future you will sabotage yourself always.
And without a doubt 100% that will happen every single time forever...
Is not about fixing a broken heart.
Is the how.
How are you sabotaging yourself.
People's concern is to adress the elephant in the room but not on How it will be remove.
✌
I had an ex tell me he didn’t want a relationship with me and he was back 46 days later…Coach Lee is so on point when he says around 45 days and to ignore what they say when they dump you!
This man knows his staff, am confident and comfortable to listen am am currently taking his advice and implementing them, thank you couch Lee, needed to hear this
I listened to a coach who told me to be friends with an ex because we only dated about a month...so I did but then he tried to cross the friendship line while under the influence and I had to cut it off. I can't keep playing referree because he can't accept my flaws. So I said we need to separate and have been doing NC since March 1st. :)
..update?
@@dwightschrute8141 I haven't heard from him. I don't want him back though. So...lol
Good for you...👍
Coach Lee nails it as always. He’s the real deal. So many people peddling rubbish.
I love your videos! I am the dumper and making a trip to a England after 9 weeks NC with ny ex to try and fix things. I regretted immediately after the breakup and tried to talk to him but he didn’t want to talk so I have been giving us both space but I miss him badly so hopefully this trip will work!! 🙏🏽
Coach Lee you are good. I've listened to a couple other coaches. What you say makes much more sense to me and I like the fact that you explain the science behind some of these things, the brain chemicals etc.
15:45 literally felt what you said coach😂😊
I dont even know how many times I laughed throughout this video! How did i miss it until now? Almost 2 years later lol Coach, You were on fiiiiire :D
Autographed Star Wars merchandise. Messages in a bottle. Well, there is creativity out there I guess. Lol. Don’t need to do any of that nonsense. I agree...
I love this guy, I keep failing but he is my rock. Yeah can only make it a week with no contact. Day 35 of break up. Messaged her today, but just asked for a video she made of me so I can use it on my TH-cam channel. She asked if I flew back to Florida and so other question. I answered politely and just moved on with my day.
Thanks Lee, you made my day again. Love hearing from you. You always put a smile on my face with your great knowledge. Loving your calm voice too!
I did a 67-day no contact technique. Then, when I texted her for a day after that, she didn’t respond. Then, I did an additional 14-day no-contact technique and she responded after that.
are you back together?
@@angel-pp5gj we actually went pumpkin picking together a few weeks ago, with another girl. I’m not saying that they’re both single, but that it’s a possibility.
My experience I had relationships that last 3 years 4 years even 6 years and not another ex ever called me I did no contact I better myself after each relationship I did everything right I was the best guy in the f****** planet and the women still walk out of my life at the end of the day it all boils down to love if they in love with you then they will contact me if they not in love with you they just going to keep moving on to the next person it doesn't matter no contact doesn't work for everybody it might work but it might be temporary that's my experience and I feel like a lot of it has to boil down to love if that person really cares for you or loves you but they don't love you or they not in love with you it's not going to work there's no contacts not going to work and they keep moving it doesn't it doesn't matter you can be alpha male you can be a beta male you can have money you could be a poor person it doesn't matter if the person doesn't love you they're not going to contact me that's just the way life is they keep moving on
Maybe you did some mistakes during those 3 NC's
15:33 This is so true Lee. i might be wrong, but i have the assumption that nowadays too many young people seek advice on the internet and not in irl that they end up listening to some other inexperienced people and take it as good advice. There's no beta or alpha male/female. People who think that way need to accept that being flawed or doing something unsuccessful happens to everyone. whatever your ideal of an "Alpha male" is it's just some guy who also has doubts, wrongs and fears, just like you. So believe in yourself and work on improvement.
Coaches say after 7 days to contact them. Because waiting longer than a month means they are moving on without you. If someone doesn’t have attraction for you after a breakup, especially if they find someone else, you doing nothing for so long isn’t going to help. What about meeting with them and showing them you are a new person?
Itsmrhowto, the main reason for no contact is to work on yourself, and give them time to miss you. Also, they can have a chance to work on themselves.
***I need some help in my situation. I'm not sure if I'll ever get my ex back, and I feel my situation is kind of unique, and I need some advice!***
Me and my ex are both 17, and she is very independent. She want to leave our town, and move 4 hours away to attend college right after high school. (we live in Dallas, and she wants to go to Houston). During the relationship, I will admit, I let it consume me. I was not independent, had no real hobbies, and at any command of hers, I would be right there. She was in control. However, during the last month or so of our relationship, she was acting very different, and distance. At this time too, she also started to hang out with her guy friend more and more. This obviously made me upset, and every time I would try to confront her about it, it would only lead to arguments. I would ask for the smallest things to make me comfortable, such as us all meeting up and hanging out once, but she refused. Then one night, I was over at her house, and exploded on her about her guy friend, because they were doing some sketchy stuff in my eyes. She then agreed and said it wasn't right of her or fair for her to do it to me, and that she wanted to break up. She felt like she had no room to grow in the relationship, and wanted to focus on herself in the relationship. This is understandable as for the past two years of her life she's been in relationships, and has not really progressed as much as she would have liked to. She also felt like she needed to go to Houston by herself, as she did not want the pressure of me being there entirely for her on her shoulders.We broke up on the 11th, and we both share a mutual friend who which I get a lot of info from, and its NOT looking good for my situation. She tells him she is the happiest she's ever been, and also she has been hanging out with that guy, and doing sketchy, more than friends things, like doing his eyebrows. She even told my friend that he had such pretty eyes. That kind of killed me. They are going to go fishing tomorrow together, and honestly I'm scared. This isn't some random guy mind you, she's been best friends with this guy for 2 years now, and they have both had feelings for each other in the past, but are now both single, bc he just got out of a relationship. I don't know what I'm doing anymore, but I'm trying to stay strong during no contact. She has reached out twice though, the first was just to check up on me, like 2 days after the break up. She started crying, and said that was the first time she cried about the break up. The second time was just cause she needed me to get her birth certificate which she thought she left in my car. I looked for it and couldn't find it, then hung up. We were together for 9 months, and best friends for a year prior. This was not a cringey highschool relationship. We are both pretty mature, and we told eachother everything, and really cared for eachother. I just don't know how she's gonna feel after no contact. Would she even want to be with me, if she's gonna leave for Houston in like 7 months anyway? Im not sure to convey to her I want to go to Houston with her, and that we CAN work things out! Over this time I know all the ways i messed up, not taking her seriously, ignoring her, all that. I'm really lost right now, and everyday hurts. She was my everything, and everyday is dark without her.
Coach Lee.
I'm also a Life coach and base in my Emotional Intelligence.
I can assure you only 5% in the world have a balance Emotional Intelligence..
What you preach is common sense and manipulation entertaining by the way.
Much respect..
Is like taking a roller-coaster and expecting to go someplace else.
Take bribe for example.
Is not new thats the first manipulation a child's learn after they finish their tantrum.
( if you stop ill buy you and Icream)
The reality, people don't grow they just get bigger.
The more I walk in this world the less humans I see.
I haven't meet yet a single person that matches IQ with EQ not a single one.
People live with a mentality One size fits
all.( the major reason they get con)
And the biggest manipulation of all
Self-pity.
( Self-pity is how you create martyrs).
THATS WHY YOU MISS YOUR EX.
People don't want to accept responsibility so because of it they will internalize as self wallowing going back to Self-pity
Why simple is a great way to create attention even is negative attention is still attention.
The moment coaches can change
WHY for I that will be the moment the individual will accept the HOW.
I left my girlfriend because of the lack of emotional intelligence.
I was with her for 1 year thats the limit a person must have if everything is already exhausted.
People needs to understand when the investment is no longer profitable..
The same way is a relationship..
I'm glad you're happy.
I wish the best.
#2 is spot on for me because I’m the same way. If I reach out and don’t get a response I just leave it alone thinking the person is not interested. I do not chase anyone...period!! ✌🏾
I also tend to believe what people say and not make up something different in my mind. If he says “I don’t think I can give you what you need” I believe it. I don’t start trying to convince him that he can..he’s been with himself his whole life...he knows what he can or cannot do. 🤷🏾♀️
Omg coach lee my hero my coach who made to help me to this journey I’m forever ♾ thank ful to you. All of this I have is shared with you and if I had a chance to met you “1 day I’m glad” thanks universe for guiding me to this grate person from the first day of this journey now.. we’re progressing and progressing I also bought his kit last June to show gratefully too.. 🍾 🍃
August 15,2020 yesterday he invites me already to a long way travel 🧭 to a place we been all the time where beach 🏖 have and his childhood memories and the place where we both planning both home b4.. but I’m slowly too as coach lee” thank you. He also asking me about future plans like” how about this land?”to buy land?
12:11 hahaha! No waaayy, that's so badass.
My bf broke up with me about a month and a half ago. Out of blue. A week ago before that I found out that he was cheating (mainly has been texting with few girls) and we had a talk. He admitted his guilt, apologized and told me that he loved me very much, that this was the best relationship he ever had and decided that we did not want to change anything. 5 days later the this event he told me that he was not that in love with me anymore and he thanked me for the best 5 years that we have shared together. We had the best connection ever, we almost never argued and we were best friends. Ofc he asked me to stay friends with him but i could not. We never had a perfect relationship cuz of our families and religious diversities. We were just fine by that and we were happy (I think). Broke NC on the 16th day (I regret it) now it has been 7 days of NC . It hurts to be rejected by someone you love so much. I want to believe in NC, but i am not sure if he is ever coming back. I am just so lost
Coach Lee, how about a video about managing the negative emotions that come with the end of no contact? That first conversation, that's tense, scary, anxiety ridden... How do you keep your calm and make sure you don't dive back into past issues?
Watch this video all the way through: m.th-cam.com/video/tWnTUZd1XBE/w-d-xo.html
15:32 I believe Coach was looking for the word "Simp". xD
Oh I went to some horrible ones who just advertised themselves really well and sold a faster image or concept that made me feel good about myself. Ngl some coach lee videos are fucking hard to watch. I gotta pause like damn he’s right I really made some big mistakes thinking I was nailing it. I wasn’t. Please if you are going through a few, trust me, stick to coach lee.
Mind you I haven’t gotten her back, it’s been 6 weeks. And ive been on no contact for 5 days, let that shit set. But regardless, since starting no contact and watching coach lee I just feel better about it. Whether she Reaches out or not I work out more, have a great diet, meditate and read more regularly go out and snorkel, surf and hang more. Drink less and save better. Off I just feel good about life more and I know if she reaches out she’s gonna be impressed. I wish she reached out today but I’m comforted by the thought that the longer sh takes the better me I’m gonna be when she sees me.
We have been together for 11 years
OK, so if there is so much controversy on whether to answer the dumper back, when they do contact.....why not just go with this middle of the road rule: Wait another week and then reach out? Not a game, but just a way to possibly prevent permanent loss, but also gives time for additional attraction and uncertainty to build in dumper?
Another helpful video! Thank you, Coach Lee, you're always helpful and uplifting.
9:57, I don’t know if the no contact will work for me. He broke up with me, so I had to move out after 2 years together, and before I left he gave me a letter he wrote me. The letter said that he wishes me the best, that he is sorry this didn’t work out bit that he hopes that I can find the man of my dreams. Then he signed with respect and gratitude. Idk it seems that its pretty much over.
It usually “seems” like it’s over when they break up with you. Watch this video all the way through: m.th-cam.com/video/vsFQTDCH08E/w-d-xo.html
Coach Lee is the truth. ⚖️
Hi Coach Lee, could you please make videos on Long distance breakups and how to fix them?
My ex and I have been broken up for 7.5 months. She jumped straight into a rebound relationship. Her reasons for breaking up were that she felt pressured by her family after I met them because they liked me. She said I was becoming too much a part of her life. (She is fearful avoidant) we had an intense connection and she was push pulling me during the relationship but I never pressured her.
I've been no contact for the last 5 months and o recently had to remove her from my social media because seeing her with this new guy was stopping me from moving on.
She told me she loved me for the first time the week after we broke up and she looked so torn. She even kissed me as I walked her home. Twice! And then she backed away again and said we are just friends.
I've been heart broken because I can see when she isn't freaking out things between us could be great between us.. she fucked it up lol
A few weeks ago my ex suddenly blocked me with no explanation. I think it was because I was too needy. A week ago I sent her a book I had bought her before the relationship ended. She texted me saying 'thanks but it wasnt necessary'. I responded by text. I have utterly no idea whether she received my text. I might still be blocked. Ill leave her be. Im not superb at no contact but even after 2 weeks she was good enough to say thanks.
Even if im blocked Im extremely confident shell reach out to me if I just leave her alone. She knows i could get around the block but that will not help. I could text her on a different phone or ring on a landline. No contact does work particularly if you have begged and chased. If you cease contact altogether after being too needy the change is dramatic. They'll notice extremely quickly.
These videos are really helpful in making me a better person. At a very simple level i hate being blocked but she is smart enough to unblock me if I give her space. In time I would enjoy being friends. In the mean time ill respect her need for space.
One issue I have is whether I want to resume a relationship with her. At times she wasnt respectful of me. For example, blocking me without warning or discussion wasnt respextful.
Ahhh so that's why my ex reached out to me after a week 🤣💀 he couldn't even wait at least a month. Or the 45 days. I was trying to give him space and respect myself. I know he wanted to hang out last week, but if he really did why didn't he text me and say. "Hey I haven't heard from you. Are you ok? You still wanna hang out today?" I was waiting on him to text me, so I gave up.
Hey what is the update? Are you guys together?
It's 27 March today. Day 8 of NC. I commit myself to not contacting her till the beginning of June. Let's see what happens. Whether she approaches me before that, whether I would feel still invested in her that I proceed with contacting her, and if I do what she responds with. Interesting indeed, meanwhile I will focus on bettering myself, my studies my health.
Any update Deepak?
Breakups are the same ...I recommend an fully listen to couch lee advice cause it's work very well and it's the best behavior to act in this breakup situation. Kelvin From Mozambique 🇲🇿 Africa ...
I have been in this situation and my ex return to me, mouths later.
You slay everything Coach Lee...makes perfect sense. Thank you!
I did not to contact like 3 months. When I contact him he never reply. Now almost 9 months we broke up. Because we are LDR. Hard but I need to accept the fact we are done.
Coach Lee's videos and advice is superb and works alot watch and take his advice constantly and his knowledge and advice is second to none
Richard, thank you for your kind words.
CAN YOU RELATE?
So it's been about four months of no contact. Me and my ex work together. She's my boss and sits right next to me. I'm her right hand at work. So imagine the struggle I go through daily. So today we spoke about almost everything. She had been seeing someone else she told me they made out, she enjoyed it and wasn't thinking of me when it happened. But she said it didn't mean anything. It honestly broke me when I heard that. Cause it felt cold. Like am empty heart. But I told her I appreciated the truth because I was understanding and I told her I've reflected on myself and my past self how I was. She is somewhat of the relief stage probably but she has moved towards me again. At times she doesn't seem to let me go. She always seems my attention when I don't give it to her. Even jokes sexually. Love is definitely a battlefield and in my mind it's a warfare.
I have changed I dont love nor care about them anymore they wanted me to change so I did I'm sure they are just as happy as I am 🙂
My wife left, she blocked me. Started NC 4 days after. She was stalking me through her friends. I started a healthy diet, a business.. yes it hurt as hell but thanks coach. Now on day 31 of NC and im starting to realize that I married someone that does not fight for anything in life. Anyways, not going to chase.
Passion u potray is just great!
I was taking in a lot of bad relationship advise from a self-proclaimed, "relationship guru", here on TH-cam, which completely ruined my chances of ever getting my ex back, IMO. I wish I could of found Coach Lee before that other guy because I probably could of saved my last relationship.
"Go in the middle of the desert and slay a dragon." : ) Lol
Great coach lee.. you talk good very professional... and im so convinced by your advices and principles on human relationships...
3 months and no contact from his side , he just seen my story post on social media, he broke up with me bcz I fight with him to much , I'm madly missing him now
..update?
Mr Lee you was like a best friend to me last few weeks.i have learnt so much about relationships.thank you very much and I must say I do enjoy your videos x