@@standground7956 you get into a DIFFERENT relationship. That’s why this one had to die. People CHANGED. Your concept of people is not nice. You need to change it before it becomes your reality.
My guy reached out several times over the course of 8 months. I never reached out to him. I eventually got the big "miss you" text, which led to us getting back together. It felt so good, letting him come to me. Now he's my husband.
That assumes they want you back or are checking in on you. If they left you for someone else and have no attraction or interest for you anymore, you can improve yourself all you want, but they'll never even know about it.
@@dillydilly2260if you’ve improved yourself physically emotionally, financially and much more…take a step back and think if it’s this same person you want or the new you can do way better…as we improve our class change, what we think we wanted..we don’t want anymore
I'm here to show my support for Coach Lee’s channel. No contact works, folks. I didn't get my ex back, but I grew and discovered myself instead, which is better than having him in my life. We were not right for each other; I can see that now. My heart no longer hurts. Stick with no contact. It works. Stay strong.
Been in no contact with my avoidant ex for 4 months. I haven't reached out because I will NOT clean up their mess as Coach Lee continues to preach. Your words give me strength Coach Lee on my days of weakness when I want to reach out but I know for my own dignity and respect that I will not. It still hurts so much though when someone who said that they love you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you can blindside you and discard you over text. 😔💔
I feel you. I feel the same way and she said the same thing. Was with my ex gf for 7 and a half years, and been in NC for 11 months. I came home to a note on the table. Note on the table. Text. Same thing. Hang in there. We'll get through this together. You're not alone! Coach Lee giving out golden nuggets of information! God Bless this guy!
On the same journey. Who breaks up through text? I had to see it from his perspective and he had so much insecurities which are not my responsibilities. That's a him problem. Yes it hurt but I rather hurt now than have my heart shattered later. In the meantime, I reflect on what I lacked or over did and work on myself
I’ve heard that avoidants tend to come back between 5 to 7 months so there’s still hope. It’s been a big help to hang out with the people that actually want to be around me. And sometimes I’ll ask myself, “What would I be doing right now if I had never met them?” Then I’ll go do it.
@@ChulaRuthie72I am doing the same. Thing. Been in NC for 3 months now. It's still hard. But Coach Lee's video help to not reach on. And some days I feel strong and others weak.
Guys and girls! Listen to this man. I had moved on. No contact for 3 months. Up graded my life. Met someone. And now my ex gf messaged me a couple days ago apologizing for everything and saying she loved me so much and that she had all these revelations. Now im in the hard position of either taking her back because i do love her so much, But ive met this new girl and dating for a a 7 weeks…. 😅 life is crazy.
Cool videos. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
when you’ve healed and moved on, you are scared that they will reach out. 😂 but honestly, if you want them back because there was actually a bond, then at least do the work in NC! even if they don’t come back, nothing will be worse then not having used NC to become a better person.
@@matthewwayne98 because working on yourself doesn‘t end after the breakup? it never ends actually. I love watching these videos because I can see so differently now. it’s a great feeling when you can see it all rationally and I hope you get there very soon, too!
There's definitely no shortage of self improvement videos on TH-cam yet you chose to watch and comment on one called, "Scared my ex won't reach out", in attempt to tell the world you are over it. Seems a little odd to me, but good luck with your journey
@@matthewwayne98 I am very grateful for Lee‘s videos and still find them incredibly interesting and logical, even though I‘m dating again. I also watch those from Craig Kenneth and even listen to them as podcasts in my car. Being a coach myself (although not necessarily for relationships), these add so much more depth to my knowledge (I didn’t really care for breakups before). I don’t only drink when I‘m thirsty, maybe you know that saying. It’s like driving around listening to music, without a destination in your head. And I will continue watching them. Maybe my comment even motivated someone to stay focused.
Needed video about a very normal and powerful fear - its supposed to feel scary, and even hopeless. Feelings are very real and shouldn't try to resist it - just feel it, but don't trust those very real feelings are based on truth.
I started listening to you a year ago and it got me through the worst days I have ever experienced. I lived in hope back then that he would realise what he lost. I know I am a good partner, not perfect, but I am worth holding on to! Just an update to say he never reached out!! The hope faded and the pain eased but I still miss him and haven't attempted a new relationship yet...one day when my heart feels ready. Sometimes we don't get the happy ever after we imagined...so we have to create a new one 😢
My brother's ex reached out after 2 years. He didn't want her back and he moved on. It can happen. You move on when you're ready. No contact is exhausting so just keep it at the back of your mind 🙂🫂
@@Growwithgrace101I think you may have misread it? I think his brother’s ex reached out after 2 years but that it was too late because the brother had already moved on.
Twenty-six months strict no contact. No texts, phone calls, telegrams, smoke signals, or carrier pigeons. But I can feel it, she's gonna contact me any day now.
Im at 50 days of no contact, And i just knowing now no contact is not for them is to get yourself back 👏🏻💪🏻stay strong my friends it will get better i promise u that❤
I’m kinda at this crossroads of ambivalence when it comes to my ex. She reached out to me on my bday 3 months ago and she was the first person to do so. I didn’t give in and I didn’t chase. She wanted to go and find better so I literally showed her the way out of my life. “She loved me but she wasn’t in love with me”….yeah BS I know 🤣 I ran into her 18 days after my bday in a McDonald’s parking lot literally across the street from my job. Her response was this when she got out….she ran into my arms and hugged me as if she missed me and she did and she does but I am not interfering in her new love life. You took me for granted and not only are you doing this in such a sloppy way but she’s being so contradictory with her actions. Her bday message to me was “I miss you more than you know, and I have love for you always.” That day in the Parking lot after her warm embrace, “I was going to drive off but I didn’t want to be a bitch” okay so why did you stop?? 🤣🤣 Hot and cold behavior, everything Coach Lee preaches in his sermons, he’s right. She couldn’t take her eyes off of me, she was flirting with me with her eyes and all; she couldn’t keep her hands off me but again, I am not staying where I am not wanted. She was bread-crumbing me a lot too by stalking me on social media. She doesn’t follow me so I know she’s typing me up in that search box lol Again I am at this point where I don’t even know how I truly feel. I still care about her deeply but now that my emotions have subsided and now that I’ve taken the time to truly accept what she’s done and how we ended up, I am now ambivalent towards her. I am allowing her to live her life without me in it. I wasn’t perfect but i treated her really well even on my worst day (I got really sick on Presidents Day) I know she’s going to miss me since her bday just passed and I didn’t reach out. My profiles are now private too so you don’t get the gift of seeing me thrive. The door is open but my current path is in front of me, not behind me. I’ve been getting all kinds of attention now from many women but right now I am taking more time to heal. It’s only been 4 months so let me reiterate that. When and if they come back it’s because they swallowed their pride and they realized that the dating pool is shit. It’s up to you if you want them back. Again I don’t know how I feel tbh but the peace and prosperity that I have now and now that I am almost through that storm; I am no longer the person that i once was. I’ve grown so much since then. Listen to Coach Lee, the man knows his shit.
You're not looking at her words and actions from the perspective of a female. You're looking at it from a mans perspective. You're going to interpret how she feels based on how you would feel and it's never the same
65 days NC… I’ve been working on myself … lost 27lbs because I’m trying to get on better shape for myself no one else!!! Spending time with friends and family. If we never speak again at least I know I’ve grown and I’m a better person then I was at the breakup!!! Thx Coach
I've been in great shape for years, and have no friends or family I can spend time with. So I'm just stuck sitting with my own thoughts, and they aren't pleasant.
To anyone hurting Coach Lee is right about everything!!!! It took my avoidant ex almost 8 months to the day. It will happen when you least expect it!!!! Stay strong, I promise it will be ok!!!! ❤
@@linamarie84 I understand what you are going through. Keep watching Coach Lee's videos and most importantly stay in no contact. When you feel desperate to talk to him stay busy and watch these videos. Stay strong, I promise you will be ok.
@@YvetteZapienThank you for sharing. My ex has been my friend for 26 years and boyfriend for 8.5. He broke up with me, has issues with conflict and runs. I’ve been in total no contact for 5 1/2 weeks and I’m doing the same thing. Some days are fine and other days are really tough so I come watch videos until the desire to contact him passes. So when your ex contacted you did you guys get back together if you don’t mind me asking?
@@LisaMorgan-qq3iq I'm really sorry for what you are going through. As impossible as it may seem it will get better. In my moments of weakness or anxiety I would watch coach Lee's videos and they really helped me get through those moments, stay strong it will get easier.
5 months passed. She did reach out for something which I feel just to check if I will respond or not. I dint lose my cool but the moment she started her drama, I said I am no longer available for all this. I am far better alone. Dont want any more chaos in my life. Thanks Coach. You have been there for me during this rough ride. It hurts for sure but I cant be with someone who is immatured and acts like a toddler. Hope I will be fine soon.
My absence won’t make her reach out. I always knew the relationship was one sided and I loved her more than she loved me. The break up will prove to be a positive for me because who wants unequal love. If I think about the years with her, it was so lonely at times. Wish I trusted my gut feeling on the first date. I knew that she wasn’t right for me.
My ex ghosted me. He did this for three weeks and came back. He lost his job and said he needed a break to find a job. He got a job and we got back together and I told him how hurt I was. He said he was so sorry but then ghosted me again! Its been three weeks. I miss him but I can't give him another chance.
Same here! 5 weeks of NC. Crazy how one day I feel so strong and then somehow something makes me spiral into that anxiety and I almost break NC. I come back and watch video after video until I am centered again.
@@tredd9019I am looking forward to feeling better. This is tough. Did you guys get back together after he contacted you? Or he ran away as you said and you’re in no contact again? Thank you for sharing.
I'm in kind of that situation. Almost 3 months since my wife for 12 years left home with our daughters. Adapted zero contract since. And she's been in Zero Feelings since. No word or sign of regret, jealousy, worry, nothing. It still feels unbelievable.
I loved her the way a woman prays to be loved, I was kind and caring, I listened when she talked, my face lit up when I would see her even after almost 3 years. We went to school together and we were best friends. She slowly grew distant and I didn't notice because I just kept thinking that meant she wanted more of me. She told me I had to let her go and that she had hurt me enough sunday night before she had to work. I cried for days. I immediately went no contact, Its been 2 weeks. I still love her, she was my person. She made a mistake. I was the only one she could talk to honestly in her life because of her family situation. I just hope she realizes this was a mistake, I will give her a chance to make ammends. She hurt me so much, and it seems illogical. The heart doesn't think like an engineer I guess. (We are both engineers) She isn't cheating, I know that for sure. I have a good job, I am going to get my own place soon, I am losing weight, she will regret this. She won't find someone like me. Little things everywhere remind me of her all over my life, its hard. I need a hug.
Hang in there. I’m in 5 weeks of NC with my person of 8 1/2 years. Friends for 26 years. I feel lost but I know I didn’t do wrong. I’m in no way perfect, but this is his mess to clean up. He’s done this before a few times and I’ve always contacted him and we’d get back together for a year or two. This time I have ZERO plans of breaking no contact. My pride and my heart can’t take it again. I love him and the door is open but only if HE opens it.
It sounds you might have put her a bit too much on the pedestal. Your second mistake was when she pulled away you should have pulled away even more and it would have caused her to miss you. I know you may not want to think of all that right now - but it’s important to consider what happened to prevent it from happening again. It will likely take months, but I think you have a very good chance of getting her back if you stay in no contact. Three years doesn’t just go away. By the way, congrats on becoming an engineer. Math being my weak spot, that’s something I could never do.
@@renegaderaccoon335 I think so too, I miss her so much but she needs space. she kissed me and hugged me when she left too. I asked her not to forget me and I said to remember the good and she said she would.
It doesn’t matter. I treated someone like that as well and they got married to another person a couple years later. Someone else will treat them just as well. You just need to focus on treating yourself well and then you can give that love to someone’ else down the road.
@@daligang1359 deep thinking, 3 months NC. Work on yourself. Make sure she did her work too, because when youre critical about her, she knows its not her in the dominant position
This is called a pre/post trip inspection. You take a look at your brakes. Up and down. Slack adjusters, in cab air check, check the pads, check the air brake canisters, check the hoses. Before you take your 80,000 lb semi out on the road. Then you let your gears do all the work going down hill so you don't have to use your perfectly working brakes. 😊
I just need this to end. It’s been 5 weeks in the latest NC stretch. It just needs to end. It’s killing me and not phasing him at all. I realized he doesn’t care about me but wanted me to care about him so kept me just close enough to drag it out.
needed to rewatch again, especially today. we were supposed to go to his cousin’s wedding today… I remember him being so excited for me to meet more of his family..
I empathize with your pain. She'd just moved 2 hours away for school and her parents had bought all of us tickets to go to Octoberfest together, celebrating her starting nursing school and what I thought would be our new life together. But the weekend before, she told me she met a guy who gave her butterflies and that was it. We were over. I don't know if they all went without me, gave my ticket to him, or what. But it hurts so much...we were in the process of choosing our Halloween costumes too because Halloween was our favorite holiday. But I guess she'll be spending it with him now instead of me. Why do we keep trusting people when experience tells us that no matter how strong we think our bond is, or how deeply we trust them, EVERYONE is capable of losing all attraction and interest for us in an instant and moving on without a care for how it will affect us?
Coach Lee should be on Mount Rushmore. His relationship philosophy works. I've been in no contact since April 3rd. And guess who reached out after 4 and 1/2 months? YES, THE EX.☎️🤓
For everyone watching this doubting no contact.. please listen to this man! I thought I would never hear from my ex again or at the minimum months & months down the road.. but when we broke up I told her this is not what I want but I respected her decision.. 3 weeks of no contact after that and I get a call from her telling me she's been thinking of me alot and misses me. We talked for 2 hours catching up on the phone and now have a date set next Friday. It's funny these 3 weeks I have been depressed and missing her like crazy and now that we're back in contact I'm not sure what I want now. Just take things one day at a time and see how they play out naturally.
Have you guys been broken up before? I’m current at the 4 week mark of no contact, the most that I do is post workout and healthy food stories on FB. Also we didn’t end bad, I’m a very vocal person and the last thing I ever said was to no contact me until you’re sure about me. Idk going thru these days be hard asf
@breezedale3863 no we've never broken up before this was our first time. It's not easy at all but in your heart if you know you treated this girl right she will most likely come back to you. I've had numerous exs come back in the past cause I always treat them right. Just give it more time and don't reach out cause she has to be the one to come to you. Praying things workout for you man
@@crookedroots4000 I think mine might come back which makes NC easier for me. I did treat her well. Actually too well & that's why she broke it off. I was too soft for her. Only because my first marriage ended because my wife said she felt unloved, unwanted and I was never affectionate. I didn't want to make that mistake again so I adored this new girl. I babied her non stop. Oops... that didn't work. I need to just be myself 😂
After the breakup, I wrote him a letter explaining what I thought were my mistakes during our relationship and asking him for explanations regarding the breakup. I then said that we could potentially talk face to face once he had answered me. He wrote me a letter in return explaining himself. I replied to him by text message that I no longer thought it was necessary to talk since he had clearly made his decision, that I understood it even if I thought we could have worked on the problems instead of giving up and that I wished him well. I was planning to apply the no contact from that message on. The problem is that he replied that he thought it was a good idea to talk one last time, that beyond the breakup he still had some things to tell me. I then told him that "talking could be a good idea but that I needed some space and time first." He told me that he understood and that I could send him a message whenever I wanted. I told him that he could do the same. And that's it. It's been almost two weeks since we last spoke. The problem is that after our last interaction, I'm afraid that he'll think that it's necessarily up to me to contact him again. I am afraid that i've ruined the no contact that i'm actually doing...
She reached out after three weeks of NC from me via text.her message was "sorry I haven't reached out! Hope you are doing well..looks like you've been busy..good for you. You're a good guy and I'm glad to know you" I have no idea what this means. My reply was "I'm doing well, thanks and hope you are doing well too" Now, should I let her reach out again, if she does? I realize this text might not mean anything but her trying to make herself feel better and not that she wants to get back together.
If she reaches out tell her it's good to hear from her and invite her over. It's her job to do all the work since she broke up with you. If she doesn't after a couple of attempts just move on because she is playing
Not all breakups are the same- sometimes people leave while they are still very much in love because issues after multiple tries are just not getting resolved and getting worse. I would actually like to see this issue addressed a bit more, because I often see this in counseling and it doesn't quite reflect the breakup dynamics mentioned
I’ve left relationships while being in love. Sometimes things just don’t work, people try to force the issue and ultimately it’s the right thing to do. I’ve had ex’s who I loved try to rekindle but if you care then you convince them to pursue a better relationship that benefits them. There are too many people out there who think that their ex can’t find a better match but I prefer not to be that delusional. A breakup is never a mistake. If you truly love and care for someone you wouldn’t convince them to return or rekindle a failed relationship with you.
@@standground7956 oh I agree- I just am commenting because there is a very one sided presentation regarding the dumper. I've seen a lot of ppl leave relationships not because they think they are better or more attractive than the partner but because they were left feeling extremely lonely and taken for granted. This is not gendered, I would see this in counseling a lot where ppl break up because they're exhausted and giving up- and a lot of ppl don't have the relief stage, it's just deep grief until they process things.
I agree. When he broke up, my ex told me that he still loved me but coulent stay with me because he felt like he couldn't communicate with me. Turns out, in our 3 years relashionship, he never told one time how he was truly feeling (he kept to him his thoughts convinced - i don't know why - that i would get hurt and wouldn't listen if he did)... It's a petty really, i'm not a bad person who gets angry at her partner at all... I would have listened. But he never told me anything. So, out of the blue he broke up with me when i didnt even knew they were problems between us. He told me that he loves me but couldn't be with me for now bécause he couldn't communicate and also because he wasn't happy in the relationship (because of all the things i did he didnt like but never told me about them - so i never changed them.) I know it hurted him and i doubt he went to a "relief period" since immediatly after the breakup, he started drinking again almost every night because he couldn't sleep (he lost that habit when we were together)I know it from mutual Friends. Now i'm in no contact but I have doubts that he will actually reconsider and reach out. And i hope so much he does when i know that i shouldn't hope, that it will only hurt even more if he doesn't. But I miss him so much. I can't believe all we had is just.. Lost. I don't know what to do
My person said were done last week. 5 years down the drain. My life came crashing down all around me..all of my stuff is at the apartment and I started no contact after 3 days. I am an avoidant person and she was an anxious one shed yell at me and I'd shut down.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I’m starting to lose hope . Over 5 year relationship that’s been over for 52 days now . Longest we’ve went no contact was 2 weeks and she broke it 12 days ago with a I miss you and think about you daily text but still ended with I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk but I’m willing to meet you when we’re both fully healed 🤷
Why is it that funny? It is not a game. People connect, bond, love each other. Why NOT to reach out, when one has the impulse? Why not answer to it respectfully? Relationships are not competitions to win, they are real life.
@@robertbenedek4463 He probably thinks it’s funny because it’s pretty pathetic. Whenever an ex reaches out they should be ignored. On the other hand you should give them dignity and ask why they’re reaching out to someone they had a failed relationship with. Every time a ex tried to contact me to rekindle, I made sure they understood that they could do better than our failed relationship. If you cared then you’d do the right thing. However, many people are too selfish and egotistical, they believe that just because they love their ex then their ex isn’t allowed to seek a new healthy relationship with someone else.
So mine reached out with a "how are you doing, I dreamt of you last night" msg about a month ago after being apart for 15 months. It got so messy that I don't even remember who broke up with whom. This is our 3rd no contact in our 7 yr relationship. I want him back but waiting for something more then how are you, I dreamt of you....although, I may have been the dumper here, i dont know, it got messy and pretty heated, we were both kind of just done at the time🤷♀️Not sure if ignoring him is the right thing
@jaydub7386 I get that. I had alot to do with the issues we had. I was the crazy jealous gf and drove him to madness at times. That's why I'm surprised he reached out. Still want him back.
@jessicataylor1775 It's been 3 weeks and I have been debating this. I'm worried that he is in fact just checking in to see how I am doing and nothing more, I'll be heartbroken all over again. Ignoring him has just as many mixed emotions for me. I feel like 3 weeks is a long time to not respond, like I need to apologize for responding so late or explain why it took me so long
Thank you Coach Lee! I really needed to hear this today! I'm staying the couse! NC now 11 months, and feeling stronger everyday! Great advice in this video! The Waiting is the hardest, part!- "Mr. Tom Petty!"
I'm a little bit worried about how effective no contact will be for me to get someone back I'm worried because I feel like the main mistake I made was that I wasn't calling her out or correcting things I didn't like that she was doing. And I feel like because of that, her respect level for me dropped pretty low leading to the breakup. So while I've been living my life, meeting new people, posting about having a good time with family/friends, self improving etc. I don't know how I can change what she thought about that specific aspect of our relationship
He broke up with me in a terrible way, and had the guts to say that when I am ready we can talk again, if I want. So he expects me to go after him 😂😂😂 no way
Coach Lee, could you please answer me one question that’s been on my mind. How many times is it possible for the dumper to reach back out like if they reached out one time and it didn’t go too well is it possible for them to reach out again do you see that often?
Well coach ten and a half years I loved her with all my heart. She has trama on another level. When I met her she told me she was a alcholic lost custody of her kids and they are forever changed because of that. And I found out it wasn't her anger that drove him away she cheated with 2 babies at home. She was raped at 8 she just told me last year her parents were monsters her exs have punched her. She slapped me last year multiple times and I git shingles from it.. she temporarily separated from me. Amd I did everything she wanted me to do and I did it all. Amd never got a chance. She had my dogs my dogs she is living in my house that I bought. I had to hire a lawyer to force the sale now I'm waiting for like a year for that. Amd I'm suicidal every day. I've been in no contact since the 11th of Aug our 11th anniversary I know she's not to blame from her trama and I love her unconditionally and I'm in so much pain I can't tell you amd I don't think I will live much longer it's been 6 months of hell
She isnt to be blamed for her trauma, but she is for not working on herself to get over it and getting therapy. Certain things she has done are just uncalled for. You should really focus on truly move on because you deserve better than this!
This may sound crazy but it's been 5 years , but I get a gut feeling there is a chance to at least rekindle the freindship we had before we were married for 8 years , She tragically list her oldest son and damn near list her youngest too . This past Easter I sent a card ,other than that no contact for 3 years , She's the type that even if she regreted her decision she wouldn't reach out. I just feel the break up had a lot to do with her trauma ,or maybe I'm delusional 😊 I'm concerned we're both too stubborn to make contact, I'd appreciate any feed back ..thanks
That’s what I heard from another dating guru break up Brad after no contact you can contact them but initially don’t talk about the past relationship. Do you want a positive five sending a meme or small video that would make them smile would be a good beginning.
I broke no contact after 40 days of NC to apologize for my mean and hurtful words and emotional abuses. The conversation last for an hour and my ex sounded she’s been over it and told me to move on…She said she never cried after the breakup 2 months ago and has been in relief stage and believed she can do better in the future. Idk what to do now
@@jaydub7386i did tell her i wasn’t asking for a second chance, and i have closed the chapter as well. also told her i’ve been doing therapies and working on myself. i also said i look forward to my new chapters but hoping maybe she’ll be in it in the future
@@jaydub7386i did tell her i have closed my chapter too, and i look forward to my new journey. i just hope maybe she will be in it again sometime in the future
6 months no contact since the breakup conversation. We lived together. She wasn't happy because I wasn't making enough money compared to her friends' partners, and that she wanted to go travelling. She was withholding intimacy and had been for almost a year. She told me her body was rejecting me as a partner and her body gave up on me before her mind did. I told her that I was mas***bating in the bathroom every night thinking of exes because there was so much resentment towards her withholding of intimacy. We haven't spoken since the night of the breakup. I don't think she's contacting me again.
I'm enough. I'm changed. I'm better. But she won't come back because she doesn't know the way. For her it's one way road. And we passed that road few months ago. We actually stoped and created some potholes to that road. Potholes that she will never forgive.
All I know. That to deal with whatever anxiety I have is to expect that they won't reach out. Do wasps sting? Do exes not reach out? I had a dream where when I woke up. I checked my messages. And on the very bottom of that list. Was my ex just sitting there pretty. But nope. When I woke up for real that wasn't there. Booking a coaching call with someone like you after an ex comes back sounds like my plan.
Im on 12 days no contact, i dont understand, she really said she hates me for my faults, i apologized last email and go no contact after this, and 3 days ago she tweet she miss me, nostalgia and said "hey girls can we get back together with someone who was toxic and really changed" (i precise that i was toxic for her because i begged and dont give her enough space and dont respect her decision after breakup) and i was happy to see that she think about me 3 days ago but today she tweet about how guys on university was pretty, idk if she really misses me or if it was just a temporary "nostalgia phase"
It’s almost been a year this September. My ex said that don’t have time for me even if I was to move up there still no time for me. That I did nothing wrong it wasn’t me. But only for my ex to make new friends I thought that was BS. My ex knew my my feelings I made it clear.Just hurt is all.
What if I broke up with my fearful avoidant partner after 6 months of relationship? I said that every time I come closer, he pushes me away. I love him, but if he doesn't wanna work on that, I don't wanna cause pain for both of us. I don't even know if I want him back.
It has been 2 years since i started No Contact and even though i am better personally, i still want that message from her... How long is enough hoping for that?
i think by now you should be getting that off your shoulder and start to live a new and better life with someone. there is always some hope and in a lot of cases they do reach out after years, but at 2 years it’s just to much time and attention to give someone else.
I just had an x reach out today that I had a LTR w after 7 years, however it’s not my recent x that broke up w me 5 months ago that I love and want to spend my life with..
No you don’t. She doesn’t care about your wants and the relationship failed. Have some self respect and move on with your life as she did. There are plenty people who say exactly what you wrote, yet they are happily married to someone else.
We had a relationship for over 2 years and we were always together because we cared for each other and our time together so much. However, he broke up with my 1,5 week ago and my heart is absolutely shattered. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. I’ve seen on his social media that he’s already seeing someone else and all his friends follow her as well which just seems so quick to me and it hurts really bad. I guess he’s happy with her and he had probably been thinking about breaking up with with me for a while as he seems to move on so fast. Do you still think there will be a good chance of him coming back if I keep up the no contact? It’s actually making me crazy and I want to tell him to choose me so badly, but I know that won’t help right now. The last time we spoke he did say he wanted to check in on me from time to time to see how I would be doing, because he cares and he also said he would do anything to get me back if he would ever regret is decision.However I don’t know whether or not he will stick to that since he seems to already have moved on
It could go either way. It depends on what else he has said and done. If it is just a birthday wish and that’s all, it’s likely he is just being polite. But that doesn’t mean it can’t turn into more.
Just to give people my story: My ex and I have now been broken up for more than 2 years, complete no contact. While we were together attraction was always strong, after several bad fights we had an intense breakup. My ex girlfriend has stalked me, blocked/unblocked me several times in the past 2 years but never reached out. I have been with other people and have moved forward with my life and feel great about myself. I have no idea why she never reached out and I don’t really care anymore. She does owe me and members of my family an apology but she never came forward with an apology and I’ve never broken no contact either.
Hi, your ex is probably an egoist and she will not reach you until she gets anxious. It can last in months or years depending how long your ex can resist to contact you. Even dumpers never forget ex. And they for sure get conscious especially if they hurt a good person.. your ex will for sure once contact you and crawl back maybe not soon maybe for 10 years but she will contact you after the next few disappointments with partners you can see on you tube mostly all women crying after leaving good men. Bit if she contact you never take her back.
@@danijelkruselj1855 Or it could be that the relationship ended and there’s no hard feelings. He wrote that they had bad fights. Who wants to be in a relationship with fights and arguments. Of course dumpers remember their ex’s, it helps remind you not make the same mistake twice. If you’re a good person your ex would want you. Either way, I’ve never returned to a failed relationship even when they came back apologizing or wanting to sincerely rekindle… that reeks of desperation or fear of being alone. No one should even settle for such a tragedy.
@@danijelkruselj1855She’s already taken too long for that. My type has changed, and I’m so much more in my element now than ever before. Without sounding rude, I have definitely been with much smarter, accomplished, and more attractive women since her. We had a great romantic story but apart from that, there’s no reason to take my ex back, whether it’s now or 10 years later. Thanks for your comment anyway, it’s so true!
It's been nearly two years. There's been some contact and I know she wants me but I think she expects me to do it so even though she broke up. She still owes me a lot of money that's why I'm still in some contact
You are the best, really mean it! What if I did no contact for the first 7 months after the break up, mainly because my ex was keeping reaching out. Can I go no contact now? Or it will not make any difference after so many months? Thank you ❤
Coach Lee can you make a video about the difference of break and break up? My partner wants to take a break for a uni but he said it’s not breaking up just a time away..
Been 8.5mos & still going & yes she monkeybranched. BUT ive leveled up & been NC & dont wanna be hitched up with a woman that doesnt wanna be w me. 9yrs together. She bailed. Her loss.
@@HopeFaithExpect77 Wow 9 years invested and she bails. Nothing new under the sun. Yea bro keep leveling up nice work. The monkey branching will eventually fall apart too
Coach Lee, my ex from LTR reached out 6 months after with short message “if you in my city I’d like to know”. At that time I didn’t respond and now I regret, it’s been 7 months since his last message. Even we not meant to be I feel I should ve responded even if I don’t plan to visit his city. What is best thing to do now? Regretting so much…
I’ve never understood people who communicate or keep up with an ex in any capacity. It’s strange how people breaking up a want to stay in contact. I’ve never cared to be curious about anything concerning an ex a few moments after they become an ex.
It was a 9year old relationship and he broke up ,this is day 34 of NC he hasn’t reached out yet on a 90days agreed upon NC Should I be worried or should I just give up?
DOES THIS COUNT AS NO CONTACT? >>>>>>> >>>>>>>We had a fight, he pushed me to my limits where I felt SO drained from the relationship. He did a thing I told him not to do to me before sleeping(again and again). Blocked him(not everywhere). He reached out to me over email feeling so mad and angry, telling me it is over etc. But still continued mailing, an in the end he didn't respond to my last mail. Also, I will see him for sure again in 1.5 month(currently he is not in the country but will come to pick up his things and documents, he didn't want me to send it to him btw).
Coach, my ex and I broke up 3months ago due to her constant lying, she's the one who broke up with me because of the toxicity of our relationship. But right after we broke up we were still communicating that leads to a very unpleasant interactions like constantly fighting, hot and cold treatment. But on the 1st week of August this year, we got into a big fight that led her to blocked me everywhere, but she still has my fb account and she sometimes opens it since I didn't change the password. It's been 3months since we broke up but it's only been days since I gave up trying to contact her after she blocked me everywhere. Did I just lost my chance on reconnecting with my ex since I pushed her to the limit with our fight before she blocked me? Is it too late to do the NC rule? Is there still a chance I can get her back? Btw, we're LDR, so I am really losing hope and afraid that she might find someone new. Is it possible to attract her again coach? What should I do.
So you want to get back into a relationship with a liar and someone you constantly fight with. Is there a reason why your standards are that low? Do you lack self respect and believe that a relationship like that is what you deserve? If you do, then that’s exactly why she doesn’t want you. If you can’t respect yourself then why should she respect you.
men will come back, women already left you for somebody else, so they will not return but if they return don't let them... Your dignity is worth more than every pus..y in the world... I watched coach in last 2 years after huge pain era...
Honestly my situation sucks because we broke up back in May, we didn’t talk until the end of June, she had blocked me and she reached out with a phone call at the end of June, we hung out all of July I worked on myself so hard and well we still had a few issues with communication but we wanted to work out. But the beginning of August we had a fall out when we went out and had a fun night by the end of it she ended up leaving me for a certain reason and didn’t wanna talk to me I was left confused and she blocked me it’s been 3 weeks and honestly I’m learning to let go as much I love her I’m telling myself since then that I’ll be okay and if it’s meant to be will be but I love myself as well. It’s not easy to just give up but feels like she did but this isn’t the first time except this time she didn’t give me any warnings. First time she told me to work on myself which I did.
My situation is kind of similar because in the 8 1/2 years we’ve been together he’s wanted to break up at least 3 times prior which lasted anywhere from a few days to 7 weeks. But each time I ended up contacting him to talk through it and he admitted he didn’t want to break up, that he just goes there when he feels backed into a corner because he doesn’t communicate feelings very well. But I can tell you from my personal experience that the first I was devastated, the second time similarly heartbroken, the third time I lasted 7 weeks in NC but now the 4th time I honestly am hurt but I am tired of being discarded like this and feeling like a yo-yo and feeling that he can throw us aside every time he gets upset and then think I’ll come back. He’s been in my life as a close friend a total of 26 years and together 8 1/2 years and I’ll always love him but at this point I think I need to let go unless he can come to me and actually communicate and take things slow. Even though I trust him with my life, I don’t necessarily trust him with my heart anymore if that makes sense? Sorry, that got a little long winded. Hang in there.
@@katiemama6x639I’m sorry to hear that :/ I Just miss her so much I wish we can just talk it over and make amends and try again I am doing better than before and it still hurts but I know that maybe her blocking me is her way of not giving in and maybe working on herself I hope she is because that’s what we both said we would
Not for sure if I did good or bad, but I deleted all of my social media. I noticed that somebody’s been watching my story that’s no longer my friend and I believe it’s her and it’s tearing me apart and I can’t seem to stop posting low vibrational low as me videos because I’m still heartbroken, I figured if I delete social media, she won’t be able to see me anymore. She can’t spy on me a bad choice?
Nothings wrong with posting or being on social media, all in all even during the heartache of the breakup you still must live your best life. Try doing more productive and positive things, not only will it create happiness for yourself but you feeding the universe positivity and if she’s it or not it’ll be good for you.
I have a question about the whole blocking thing. She hasn’t contacted me in over 2 months. She has me blocked on social media & over the phone. However, she has her phone not synced up with her laptop & will look at my texts later on. Meaning, I’ll send a text that won’t say delivered then later that day or the next, the message will say delivered. That’s her breaking her own no contact rule, right?
Why do you care? She an ex, so why not move on since there are other guys she likely hasn’t blocked. Are you allergic to pursuing a relationship with another person?
My ex now claims he want's me back now because I'm not thinking about him. and now he is reaching out to me now and , he knows that he made a mistake because he thought the grass was greener on the other side and now he realized that it wasn't greener on the other side and I w as the better choice for him it's to late for him now❤😂🎉😢😮😅😊
My ex broke up with me over text last Friday and I immediately went into no contact and didn’t respond because I was in shock… did I mess up by not saying anything at all? Today is day 5 and I still haven’t said anything. I was totally blindsided because we were so close/connected ( or so I thought) 😓
I wouldn't reach out either. Otherwise you should find out for yourself what really happened. It takes time till your intuition kicks in. If he REALLY meant it, breakup up via text message, he is a coward and you deserve better. Nobody should end a relationship via text.
I had a gf of 3 years end a relationship via text. You’re right, I remember not responding from the shock. She was away visiting her parents for a month. I went no contact. When she returned she was angry that I “didn’t respond or try to fight for our relationship”. She assaulted me because I calmly looked her in the eyes and told her that she broke up with me via text and if I fought for her that would make me look absolutely pathetic and more of a coward than her. I left and her parents actually came to my house to convince me to rekindle our relationship saying it was a test. I asked that they respectfully let their daughter know to count me as a fail, life is too short for mind games and loyalty tests. I never spoke a word to either of them after the conversation and was never curious about anything concerning her after that conversation ended. A relationship ending is never a mistake and should always be viewed as a positive. Hopefully your ex isn’t playing games, either way you should move on and cease contact, not to be mean but because it’s the right thing to do.
I want to return her belongings, but I don't have a PO Box, and she only gets packages through a PO Box. Her family really liked me so I was thinking of just dropping it off. This would break my no contact though. Any thoughts?
I had some of my X’s stuff. I put it in the attic and fantasized about returning their things. Fast-forward eight months, and I ended up donating their things and burning cards and letters. It was very cathartic. Your ex left his stuff? Now it's yours to do with as you please. From my experience keeping it kept me tethered to him energetically.
If they really wanted that stuff, they would have likely asked for it by now. They don't want any of it and you're just going to use it as a way to establish contact with your ex. If I were you, I would get rid of the stuff immediately and start healing from the loss and moving forward with your life.
@sloanmagnum5009 I agree with what you're saying. I have pretty much accepted the situation and have started talking to other women. I do have a situation where she is responsible for a bill, and it's not being paid anymore. $3000 worth. So it's more of a way to hopefully find a solution for this problem. Of course, I didn't expect a breakup to happen. It was all so sudden. It's been almost 7 months
Any thoughts on men who monkey branch?mine left me for another women. There was no fighting and we were still very passionate. So why would he do this?
No, if they broke up with you and they love you enough they will reach out, if they don’t maybe this person isn’t for you and you’re close to finding your person
Coach Lee said it is possible for an ex to reach after 11 years. Regardless you should move on. They will reach out eventually, and you will know what to do afterwards. Focus on yourself, your life isn't over. Listen to the song "the best is yet to come" by Scorpions. Think of it as having a private holiday just for you, enrich your life in this season and level up.
Oh, and yes it is possible for an ex to reach out after 8 months, 1 year, 2 years etc. Just keep levelling up and stop counting the days since your last contact. You only have a limited number of days in your life. Don't make them all about that person, who (for the moment) doesn't appreciate you ...
If my ex went back to his previous ex of 18 years in the country where he was born, is that it for me? We were together for 5 years. Do I just let him go and move on with my life?
I am so confused.. I am in no contact but she is reaching out to me so I contact her back. Our marriage breakup wasn't an issue of lack of combability, or fighting, we just faded away and she wanted the seperation. The confusing part is why is she contacting me, is she caring for me and wants me to be ok, or does she want me back. Obviously I'm not going to ask if she wants me back cos I'll mess up everything terribly, and she will realise that I am still available for her which tbh I am cos I still lover her.
My ex reached out, thanks to coach Lee she was putty in my hands when she come over for a cuppa tea last weekend.
How long before she reach out??
No one can tell you that exact time it takes time, but you should never wait or contact her again then one day she will sure reach out@@dingguite2014
Putty turns hard quick.
Keep an eye on her dude it could be she's just weighing up her options
Tell us moreeee 🥺👊🏻😄
@@standground7956 you get into a DIFFERENT relationship. That’s why this one had to die. People CHANGED. Your concept of people is not nice. You need to change it before it becomes your reality.
My guy reached out several times over the course of 8 months. I never reached out to him. I eventually got the big "miss you" text, which led to us getting back together. It felt so good, letting him come to me. Now he's my husband.
Tell us moreee! 😮🥺🥺🥺❤️🩹😩
Tha's so wonderful! I am happy for you! I still have hope that this could be my story with my ex gf one day.
Yes please elaborate
Was he the one who initially pulled away? Would be interested to here more!
@@Joe-fb3lg i believe him. Because once woman pull away first its end
If you did everything correctly, they’ll most likely reach out.. but don’t sit around waiting for it. Improve yourself.
what if i did improve myself and she still didnt reach out after 1 year, should i stay in no contact or text her?
That assumes they want you back or are checking in on you. If they left you for someone else and have no attraction or interest for you anymore, you can improve yourself all you want, but they'll never even know about it.
@@dillydilly2260if you’ve improved yourself physically emotionally, financially and much more…take a step back and think if it’s this same person you want or the new you can do way better…as we improve our class change, what we think we wanted..we don’t want anymore
@@dillydilly2260you improved yourself for someone better.. and more importantly for yourself. Win win
I'm here to show my support for Coach Lee’s channel. No contact works, folks. I didn't get my ex back, but I grew and discovered myself instead, which is better than having him in my life. We were not right for each other; I can see that now. My heart no longer hurts. Stick with no contact. It works. Stay strong.
So glad to hear your story. I'm so happy for you it all worked out. How long did it take for your heart to stop hurting?
Been in no contact with my avoidant ex for 4 months. I haven't reached out because I will NOT clean up their mess as Coach Lee continues to preach. Your words give me strength Coach Lee on my days of weakness when I want to reach out but I know for my own dignity and respect that I will not. It still hurts so much though when someone who said that they love you and wants to spend the rest of their life with you can blindside you and discard you over text. 😔💔
I feel you. I feel the same way and she said the same thing. Was with my ex gf for 7 and a half years, and been in NC for 11 months. I came home to a note on the table. Note on the table. Text. Same thing. Hang in there. We'll get through this together. You're not alone! Coach Lee giving out golden nuggets of information! God Bless this guy!
On the same journey. Who breaks up through text? I had to see it from his perspective and he had so much insecurities which are not my responsibilities. That's a him problem. Yes it hurt but I rather hurt now than have my heart shattered later. In the meantime, I reflect on what I lacked or over did and work on myself
I’ve heard that avoidants tend to come back between 5 to 7 months so there’s still hope. It’s been a big help to hang out with the people that actually want to be around me. And sometimes I’ll ask myself, “What would I be doing right now if I had never met them?” Then I’ll go do it.
@@ChulaRuthie72I am doing the same. Thing. Been in NC for 3 months now. It's still hard. But Coach Lee's video help to not reach on. And some days I feel strong and others weak.
I’m in the same situation, my ex gf is also an avoidant. Reaching 2 months of NC. Good luck! 🤞🏻
Guys and girls! Listen to this man. I had moved on. No contact for 3 months. Up graded my life. Met someone. And now my ex gf messaged me a couple days ago apologizing for everything and saying she loved me so much and that she had all these revelations. Now im in the hard position of either taking her back because i do love her so much, But ive met this new girl and dating for a a 7 weeks…. 😅 life is crazy.
Stay with the new girl. The ex just wants to burn that relationship down and shell leave you high and dry again. Dont be stupid
Don't go back to your ex. Give the new girl a chance
Cool videos. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, I was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but I couldn't just let him go I did all I could to get him back, I had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do I reach one.?
His name is Owen Abiola, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex...
Thank you for this valuable information, I just looked him up online. impressive.
I will be your rebound. We will make him jealous together. Come on. Its you + me vs him . 😁
when you’ve healed and moved on, you are scared that they will reach out. 😂 but honestly, if you want them back because there was actually a bond, then at least do the work in NC! even if they don’t come back, nothing will be worse then not having used NC to become a better person.
If that's true, why are you here?
@@matthewwayne98 because working on yourself doesn‘t end after the breakup? it never ends actually. I love watching these videos because I can see so differently now. it’s a great feeling when you can see it all rationally and I hope you get there very soon, too!
There's definitely no shortage of self improvement videos on TH-cam yet you chose to watch and comment on one called, "Scared my ex won't reach out", in attempt to tell the world you are over it. Seems a little odd to me, but good luck with your journey
@@matthewwayne98 I am very grateful for Lee‘s videos and still find them incredibly interesting and logical, even though I‘m dating again. I also watch those from Craig Kenneth and even listen to them as podcasts in my car. Being a coach myself (although not necessarily for relationships), these add so much more depth to my knowledge (I didn’t really care for breakups before). I don’t only drink when I‘m thirsty, maybe you know that saying. It’s like driving around listening to music, without a destination in your head. And I will continue watching them. Maybe my comment even motivated someone to stay focused.
Needed video about a very normal and powerful fear - its supposed to feel scary, and even hopeless. Feelings are very real and shouldn't try to resist it - just feel it, but don't trust those very real feelings are based on truth.
I started listening to you a year ago and it got me through the worst days I have ever experienced. I lived in hope back then that he would realise what he lost. I know I am a good partner, not perfect, but I am worth holding on to! Just an update to say he never reached out!! The hope faded and the pain eased but I still miss him and haven't attempted a new relationship yet...one day when my heart feels ready. Sometimes we don't get the happy ever after we imagined...so we have to create a new one 😢
You seem to have a healthy perspective. That's good
❤
My brother's ex reached out after 2 years. He didn't want her back and he moved on. It can happen. You move on when you're ready. No contact is exhausting so just keep it at the back of your mind 🙂🫂
@@GuruKhatri1 why did he reach out if he moved on? If I were in a new relationship I would never reach out to an ex.
@@Growwithgrace101I think you may have misread it? I think his brother’s ex reached out after 2 years but that it was too late because the brother had already moved on.
My ex reached out tonight after a month and a half.. Follow this Man's advice ❤
nearing 5 months of no contact and she hasn't reached out. hang in there, it gets better.
Twenty-six months strict no contact. No texts, phone calls, telegrams, smoke signals, or carrier pigeons. But I can feel it, she's gonna contact me any day now.
Wow! Over 2 years?
😢
Im at 50 days of no contact,
And i just knowing now no contact is not for them is to get yourself back 👏🏻💪🏻stay strong my friends it will get better i promise u that❤
😊 I’m at like day 42 and I think each day I’m getting stronger. Best wishes to you too!
53 days respect to you stay strong I’m blocked by me ex everywhere and lost money on my flight
I’m kinda at this crossroads of ambivalence when it comes to my ex.
She reached out to me on my bday 3 months ago and she was the first person to do so. I didn’t give in and I didn’t chase.
She wanted to go and find better so I literally showed her the way out of my life. “She loved me but she wasn’t in love with me”….yeah BS I know 🤣
I ran into her 18 days after my bday in a McDonald’s parking lot literally across the street from my job.
Her response was this when she got out….she ran into my arms and hugged me as if she missed me and she did and she does but I am not interfering in her new love life.
You took me for granted and not only are you doing this in such a sloppy way but she’s being so contradictory with her actions.
Her bday message to me was “I miss you more than you know, and I have love for you always.”
That day in the Parking lot after her warm embrace, “I was going to drive off but I didn’t want to be a bitch” okay so why did you stop?? 🤣🤣
Hot and cold behavior, everything Coach Lee preaches in his sermons, he’s right.
She couldn’t take her eyes off of me, she was flirting with me with her eyes and all; she couldn’t keep her hands off me but again, I am not staying where I am not wanted.
She was bread-crumbing me a lot too by stalking me on social media. She doesn’t follow me so I know she’s typing me up in that search box lol
Again I am at this point where I don’t even know how I truly feel. I still care about her deeply but now that my emotions have subsided and now that I’ve taken the time to truly accept what she’s done and how we ended up, I am now ambivalent towards her.
I am allowing her to live her life without me in it. I wasn’t perfect but i treated her really well even on my worst day (I got really sick on Presidents Day)
I know she’s going to miss me since her bday just passed and I didn’t reach out. My profiles are now private too so you don’t get the gift of seeing me thrive.
The door is open but my current path is in front of me, not behind me. I’ve been getting all kinds of attention now from many women but right now I am taking more time to heal. It’s only been 4 months so let me reiterate that.
When and if they come back it’s because they swallowed their pride and they realized that the dating pool is shit. It’s up to you if you want them back.
Again I don’t know how I feel tbh but the peace and prosperity that I have now and now that I am almost through that storm; I am no longer the person that i once was. I’ve grown so much since then.
Listen to Coach Lee, the man knows his shit.
You're not looking at her words and actions from the perspective of a female. You're looking at it from a mans perspective. You're going to interpret how she feels based on how you would feel and it's never the same
Do not respond to her breadcrumbs. Give her full no contact. Until she says something significant you can accept.
65 days NC… I’ve been working on myself … lost 27lbs because I’m trying to get on better shape for myself no one else!!! Spending time with friends and family. If we never speak again at least I know I’ve grown and I’m a better person then I was at the breakup!!! Thx Coach
I've been in great shape for years, and have no friends or family I can spend time with. So I'm just stuck sitting with my own thoughts, and they aren't pleasant.
To anyone hurting Coach Lee is right about everything!!!! It took my avoidant ex almost 8 months to the day. It will happen when you least expect it!!!! Stay strong, I promise it will be ok!!!! ❤
I need encouragement please. Mine was 11 years and I'm having a hard time
@@linamarie84 I understand what you are going through. Keep watching Coach Lee's videos and most importantly stay in no contact. When you feel desperate to talk to him stay busy and watch these videos. Stay strong, I promise you will be ok.
@@YvetteZapienThank you for sharing. My ex has been my friend for 26 years and boyfriend for 8.5. He broke up with me, has issues with conflict and runs. I’ve been in total no contact for 5 1/2 weeks and I’m doing the same thing. Some days are fine and other days are really tough so I come watch videos until the desire to contact him passes. So when your ex contacted you did you guys get back together if you don’t mind me asking?
Im really struggling too
@@LisaMorgan-qq3iq I'm really sorry for what you are going through. As impossible as it may seem it will get better. In my moments of weakness or anxiety I would watch coach Lee's videos and they really helped me get through those moments, stay strong it will get easier.
5 months passed. She did reach out for something which I feel just to check if I will respond or not. I dint lose my cool but the moment she started her drama, I said I am no longer available for all this. I am far better alone. Dont want any more chaos in my life. Thanks Coach. You have been there for me during this rough ride. It hurts for sure but I cant be with someone who is immatured and acts like a toddler. Hope I will be fine soon.
My absence won’t make her reach out. I always knew the relationship was one sided and I loved her more than she loved me. The break up will prove to be a positive for me because who wants unequal love. If I think about the years with her, it was so lonely at times. Wish I trusted my gut feeling on the first date. I knew that she wasn’t right for me.
no contact for 5-6 months, finally broke it just to casually ask how they are and got ghosted but idrc bc its her loss
My ex ghosted me. He did this for three weeks and came back. He lost his job and said he needed a break to find a job. He got a job and we got back together and I told him how hurt I was. He said he was so sorry but then ghosted me again! Its been three weeks. I miss him but I can't give him another chance.
“anxiety makes you impatient” haha, I needed that… It’s only been a little over a month as of right now
Same here! 5 weeks of NC. Crazy how one day I feel so strong and then somehow something makes me spiral into that anxiety and I almost break NC. I come back and watch video after video until I am centered again.
Mine came back Day 91 (He ran away again because he's a dismissive avoidant). You feel SO much better around Day 60-75.
@@tredd9019I am looking forward to feeling better. This is tough. Did you guys get back together after he contacted you? Or he ran away as you said and you’re in no contact again? Thank you for sharing.
She has our 2 dogs that I love more than life. I can't live like this in this much pain man
I'm in kind of that situation. Almost 3 months since my wife for 12 years left home with our daughters. Adapted zero contract since. And she's been in Zero Feelings since. No word or sign of regret, jealousy, worry, nothing. It still feels unbelievable.
What led up to her leaving? The answers to why she left and hasn't contacted you may be in the events leading up to her leaving
I understand how u feel. U been married to my wife 34 years n she devoice me. It's been 3 years now miss her. I'm n no contact. 😢
@@sloanmagnum5009 As per herself, emotional detachment due to my humour and mood and such.
My ex kicked me out. 2 months ago, 13 years and 2 kids
I loved her the way a woman prays to be loved, I was kind and caring, I listened when she talked, my face lit up when I would see her even after almost 3 years. We went to school together and we were best friends. She slowly grew distant and I didn't notice because I just kept thinking that meant she wanted more of me. She told me I had to let her go and that she had hurt me enough sunday night before she had to work. I cried for days. I immediately went no contact, Its been 2 weeks. I still love her, she was my person. She made a mistake. I was the only one she could talk to honestly in her life because of her family situation. I just hope she realizes this was a mistake, I will give her a chance to make ammends. She hurt me so much, and it seems illogical. The heart doesn't think like an engineer I guess. (We are both engineers) She isn't cheating, I know that for sure.
I have a good job, I am going to get my own place soon, I am losing weight, she will regret this. She won't find someone like me. Little things everywhere remind me of her all over my life, its hard. I need a hug.
Hang in there. I’m in 5 weeks of NC with my person of 8 1/2 years. Friends for 26 years. I feel lost but I know I didn’t do wrong. I’m in no way perfect, but this is his mess to clean up. He’s done this before a few times and I’ve always contacted him and we’d get back together for a year or two. This time I have ZERO plans of breaking no contact. My pride and my heart can’t take it again. I love him and the door is open but only if HE opens it.
It sounds you might have put her a bit too much on the pedestal. Your second mistake was when she pulled away you should have pulled away even more and it would have caused her to miss you. I know you may not want to think of all that right now - but it’s important to consider what happened to prevent it from happening again. It will likely take months, but I think you have a very good chance of getting her back if you stay in no contact. Three years doesn’t just go away. By the way, congrats on becoming an engineer. Math being my weak spot, that’s something I could never do.
@@renegaderaccoon335 I think so too, I miss her so much but she needs space. she kissed me and hugged me when she left too. I asked her not to forget me and I said to remember the good and she said she would.
It doesn’t matter. I treated someone like that as well and they got married to another person a couple years later. Someone else will treat them just as well. You just need to focus on treating yourself well and then you can give that love to someone’ else down the road.
I got her back!! Thanx Coach Lee, you're the man!
Nice, how long nc?
How..
How long was no contact?
@@daligang1359 deep thinking, 3 months NC. Work on yourself. Make sure she did her work too, because when youre critical about her, she knows its not her in the dominant position
This is called a pre/post trip inspection. You take a look at your brakes. Up and down. Slack adjusters, in cab air check, check the pads, check the air brake canisters, check the hoses. Before you take your 80,000 lb semi out on the road. Then you let your gears do all the work going down hill so you don't have to use your perfectly working brakes. 😊
I just need this to end. It’s been 5 weeks in the latest NC stretch. It just needs to end. It’s killing me and not phasing him at all. I realized he doesn’t care about me but wanted me to care about him so kept me just close enough to drag it out.
needed to rewatch again, especially today. we were supposed to go to his cousin’s wedding today… I remember him being so excited for me to meet more of his family..
I empathize with your pain. She'd just moved 2 hours away for school and her parents had bought all of us tickets to go to Octoberfest together, celebrating her starting nursing school and what I thought would be our new life together. But the weekend before, she told me she met a guy who gave her butterflies and that was it. We were over.
I don't know if they all went without me, gave my ticket to him, or what. But it hurts so much...we were in the process of choosing our Halloween costumes too because Halloween was our favorite holiday. But I guess she'll be spending it with him now instead of me.
Why do we keep trusting people when experience tells us that no matter how strong we think our bond is, or how deeply we trust them, EVERYONE is capable of losing all attraction and interest for us in an instant and moving on without a care for how it will affect us?
Coach Lee should be on Mount Rushmore. His relationship philosophy works. I've been in no contact since April 3rd. And guess who reached out after 4 and 1/2 months? YES, THE EX.☎️🤓
I‘m in no contact for 6 weeks now (short term relationship for 4,5 months). And 2 of my former exes already reached out… I wasn’t aiming for that 🙃
😂
For everyone watching this doubting no contact.. please listen to this man! I thought I would never hear from my ex again or at the minimum months & months down the road.. but when we broke up I told her this is not what I want but I respected her decision.. 3 weeks of no contact after that and I get a call from her telling me she's been thinking of me alot and misses me. We talked for 2 hours catching up on the phone and now have a date set next Friday. It's funny these 3 weeks I have been depressed and missing her like crazy and now that we're back in contact I'm not sure what I want now. Just take things one day at a time and see how they play out naturally.
Have you guys been broken up before? I’m current at the 4 week mark of no contact, the most that I do is post workout and healthy food stories on FB. Also we didn’t end bad, I’m a very vocal person and the last thing I ever said was to no contact me until you’re sure about me. Idk going thru these days be hard asf
@breezedale3863 no we've never broken up before this was our first time. It's not easy at all but in your heart if you know you treated this girl right she will most likely come back to you. I've had numerous exs come back in the past cause I always treat them right. Just give it more time and don't reach out cause she has to be the one to come to you. Praying things workout for you man
@@crookedroots4000 I think mine might come back which makes NC easier for me. I did treat her well. Actually too well & that's why she broke it off. I was too soft for her. Only because my first marriage ended because my wife said she felt unloved, unwanted and I was never affectionate. I didn't want to make that mistake again so I adored this new girl. I babied her non stop. Oops... that didn't work. I need to just be myself 😂
After the breakup, I wrote him a letter explaining what I thought were my mistakes during our relationship and asking him for explanations regarding the breakup. I then said that we could potentially talk face to face once he had answered me. He wrote me a letter in return explaining himself. I replied to him by text message that I no longer thought it was necessary to talk since he had clearly made his decision, that I understood it even if I thought we could have worked on the problems instead of giving up and that I wished him well. I was planning to apply the no contact from that message on.
The problem is that he replied that he thought it was a good idea to talk one last time, that beyond the breakup he still had some things to tell me. I then told him that "talking could be a good idea but that I needed some space and time first." He told me that he understood and that I could send him a message whenever I wanted. I told him that he could do the same.
And that's it. It's been almost two weeks since we last spoke. The problem is that after our last interaction, I'm afraid that he'll think that it's necessarily up to me to contact him again. I am afraid that i've ruined the no contact that i'm actually doing...
She reached out after three weeks of NC from me via text.her message was "sorry I haven't reached out! Hope you are doing well..looks like you've been busy..good for you. You're a good guy and I'm glad to know you"
I have no idea what this means. My reply was "I'm doing well, thanks and hope you are doing well too"
Now, should I let her reach out again, if she does? I realize this text might not mean anything but her trying to make herself feel better and not that she wants to get back together.
If she reaches out tell her it's good to hear from her and invite her over. It's her job to do all the work since she broke up with you. If she doesn't after a couple of attempts just move on because she is playing
Not all breakups are the same- sometimes people leave while they are still very much in love because issues after multiple tries are just not getting resolved and getting worse. I would actually like to see this issue addressed a bit more, because I often see this in counseling and it doesn't quite reflect the breakup dynamics mentioned
A lot of people in this situation do not go through the relief stage, it's grief all the way through
I’ve left relationships while being in love. Sometimes things just don’t work, people try to force the issue and ultimately it’s the right thing to do. I’ve had ex’s who I loved try to rekindle but if you care then you convince them to pursue a better relationship that benefits them.
There are too many people out there who think that their ex can’t find a better match but I prefer not to be that delusional. A breakup is never a mistake. If you truly love and care for someone you wouldn’t convince them to return or rekindle a failed relationship with you.
@@standground7956 oh I agree- I just am commenting because there is a very one sided presentation regarding the dumper. I've seen a lot of ppl leave relationships not because they think they are better or more attractive than the partner but because they were left feeling extremely lonely and taken for granted. This is not gendered, I would see this in counseling a lot where ppl break up because they're exhausted and giving up- and a lot of ppl don't have the relief stage, it's just deep grief until they process things.
@@StarryLight-e9v Yes, I agree and understand.
I agree. When he broke up, my ex told me that he still loved me but coulent stay with me because he felt like he couldn't communicate with me. Turns out, in our 3 years relashionship, he never told one time how he was truly feeling (he kept to him his thoughts convinced - i don't know why - that i would get hurt and wouldn't listen if he did)... It's a petty really, i'm not a bad person who gets angry at her partner at all... I would have listened. But he never told me anything. So, out of the blue he broke up with me when i didnt even knew they were problems between us. He told me that he loves me but couldn't be with me for now bécause he couldn't communicate and also because he wasn't happy in the relationship (because of all the things i did he didnt like but never told me about them - so i never changed them.)
I know it hurted him and i doubt he went to a "relief period" since immediatly after the breakup, he started drinking again almost every night because he couldn't sleep (he lost that habit when we were together)I know it from mutual Friends.
Now i'm in no contact but I have doubts that he will actually reconsider and reach out. And i hope so much he does when i know that i shouldn't hope, that it will only hurt even more if he doesn't. But I miss him so much. I can't believe all we had is just.. Lost.
I don't know what to do
My person said were done last week. 5 years down the drain. My life came crashing down all around me..all of my stuff is at the apartment and I started no contact after 3 days. I am an avoidant person and she was an anxious one shed yell at me and I'd shut down.
It's common for relationships to encounter obstacles, but there is always a solution. My own marriage faced considerable issues, but with appropriate guidance, my husband and I worked through them and deepened our connection. Solutions are achievable if you're ready to work together. Stay hopeful-there's always a way forward.
Parting with someone you love is always a challenging process, but in my experience, I had the guidance of a spiritual guide who prevented my marriage from collapsing. His name is Father Akunna.
I promise you will not regret it.
Hello Coach Lee, you look great with that beard. Like Captain America in Infinity War haha.
I’m starting to lose hope . Over 5 year relationship that’s been over for 52 days now . Longest we’ve went no contact was 2 weeks and she broke it 12 days ago with a I miss you and think about you daily text but still ended with I don’t think it’s a good idea to talk but I’m willing to meet you when we’re both fully healed 🤷
Pls tell us how this relates to Avoidants, especially fearful Avoidants. Ty!.
I had an ex contact me after 8 years lol
Lol! Like "I'm sorry, who's this" 😂
Why is it that funny?
It is not a game.
People connect, bond, love each other. Why NOT to reach out, when one has the impulse?
Why not answer to it respectfully?
Relationships are not competitions to win,
they are real life.
@@robertbenedek4463 He probably thinks it’s funny because it’s pretty pathetic. Whenever an ex reaches out they should be ignored. On the other hand you should give them dignity and ask why they’re reaching out to someone they had a failed relationship with. Every time a ex tried to contact me to rekindle, I made sure they understood that they could do better than our failed relationship. If you cared then you’d do the right thing. However, many people are too selfish and egotistical, they believe that just because they love their ex then their ex isn’t allowed to seek a new healthy relationship with someone else.
Same. I have an ex who reached out about 6 years later. I had moved on
@@robertbenedek4463calm down you dork
Break up 18 months ago, NC for 5 months and she got with someone a month later. Don’t think she going to come back
So mine reached out with a "how are you doing, I dreamt of you last night" msg about a month ago after being apart for 15 months. It got so messy that I don't even remember who broke up with whom. This is our 3rd no contact in our 7 yr relationship. I want him back but waiting for something more then how are you, I dreamt of you....although, I may have been the dumper here, i dont know, it got messy and pretty heated, we were both kind of just done at the time🤷♀️Not sure if ignoring him is the right thing
Time to move on. You deserve better.
@jaydub7386 I get that. I had alot to do with the issues we had. I was the crazy jealous gf and drove him to madness at times. That's why I'm surprised he reached out. Still want him back.
Coach lee teaches to answer them in a casual way. Not to ignore.
@jessicataylor1775 It's been 3 weeks and I have been debating this. I'm worried that he is in fact just checking in to see how I am doing and nothing more, I'll be heartbroken all over again. Ignoring him has just as many mixed emotions for me. I feel like 3 weeks is a long time to not respond, like I need to apologize for responding so late or explain why it took me so long
Thank you Coach Lee! I really needed to hear this today! I'm staying the couse! NC now 11 months, and feeling stronger everyday! Great advice in this video! The Waiting is the hardest, part!- "Mr. Tom Petty!"
11 months???!!! I’m at almost 6 months. I don’t think she is going to contact me ever again
I'm a little bit worried about how effective no contact will be for me to get someone back
I'm worried because I feel like the main mistake I made was that I wasn't calling her out or correcting things I didn't like that she was doing. And I feel like because of that, her respect level for me dropped pretty low leading to the breakup. So while I've been living my life, meeting new people, posting about having a good time with family/friends, self improving etc. I don't know how I can change what she thought about that specific aspect of our relationship
He broke up with me in a terrible way, and had the guts to say that when I am ready we can talk again, if I want. So he expects me to go after him 😂😂😂 no way
Coach Lee, could you please answer me one question that’s been on my mind. How many times is it possible for the dumper to reach back out like if they reached out one time and it didn’t go too well is it possible for them to reach out again do you see that often?
This has been going on 7 YEARS.....LOL.....How many times has no contact worked for me? Probably about 9 times...so FAR.
Well coach ten and a half years I loved her with all my heart. She has trama on another level. When I met her she told me she was a alcholic lost custody of her kids and they are forever changed because of that. And I found out it wasn't her anger that drove him away she cheated with 2 babies at home. She was raped at 8 she just told me last year her parents were monsters her exs have punched her. She slapped me last year multiple times and I git shingles from it.. she temporarily separated from me. Amd I did everything she wanted me to do and I did it all. Amd never got a chance. She had my dogs my dogs she is living in my house that I bought. I had to hire a lawyer to force the sale now I'm waiting for like a year for that. Amd I'm suicidal every day. I've been in no contact since the 11th of Aug our 11th anniversary
I know she's not to blame from her trama and I love her unconditionally and I'm in so much pain I can't tell you amd I don't think I will live much longer it's been 6 months of hell
She isnt to be blamed for her trauma, but she is for not working on herself to get over it and getting therapy. Certain things she has done are just uncalled for. You should really focus on truly move on because you deserve better than this!
Thank you Sooooooo oooo much Sir you r our strength ❤you r angel for all the broken hearts l🎉❤ luv u Sir😘
We love you coach Lee!!!!! ❤❤❤
This may sound crazy but it's been 5 years , but I get a gut feeling there is a chance to at least rekindle the freindship we had before we were married for 8 years , She tragically list her oldest son and damn near list her youngest too . This past Easter I sent a card ,other than that no contact for 3 years , She's the type that even if she regreted her decision she wouldn't reach out. I just feel the break up had a lot to do with her trauma ,or maybe I'm delusional 😊 I'm concerned we're both too stubborn to make contact, I'd appreciate any feed back ..thanks
I’ve waited a year. It’s over I’ve given up all hope
Sorry bud
It is okay to contact, send something that make them smile
That’s what I heard from another dating guru break up Brad after no contact you can contact them but initially don’t talk about the past relationship. Do you want a positive five sending a meme or small video that would make them smile would be a good beginning.
I broke no contact after 40 days of NC to apologize for my mean and hurtful words and emotional abuses. The conversation last for an hour and my ex sounded she’s been over it and told me to move on…She said she never cried after the breakup 2 months ago and has been in relief stage and believed she can do better in the future. Idk what to do now
Take her advice, it is time to move on.
@@jaydub7386i did tell her i wasn’t asking for a second chance, and i have closed the chapter as well. also told her i’ve been doing therapies and working on myself. i also said i look forward to my new chapters but hoping maybe she’ll be in it in the future
Much better without him..toxic environment
@@jaydub7386i did tell her i have closed my chapter too, and i look forward to my new journey. i just hope maybe she will be in it again sometime in the future
How long where you both an actual couple?
6 months no contact since the breakup conversation. We lived together. She wasn't happy because I wasn't making enough money compared to her friends' partners, and that she wanted to go travelling.
She was withholding intimacy and had been for almost a year. She told me her body was rejecting me as a partner and her body gave up on me before her mind did.
I told her that I was mas***bating in the bathroom every night thinking of exes because there was so much resentment towards her withholding of intimacy.
We haven't spoken since the night of the breakup. I don't think she's contacting me again.
I'm enough. I'm changed. I'm better. But she won't come back because she doesn't know the way. For her it's one way road. And we passed that road few months ago. We actually stoped and created some potholes to that road. Potholes that she will never forgive.
This guy know exacly what he is talking about👍👍🙏
All I know. That to deal with whatever anxiety I have is to expect that they won't reach out. Do wasps sting? Do exes not reach out?
I had a dream where when I woke up. I checked my messages. And on the very bottom of that list. Was my ex just sitting there pretty. But nope. When I woke up for real that wasn't there.
Booking a coaching call with someone like you after an ex comes back sounds like my plan.
Will there be more videos about long distance breakups in the future?
Again thanks coach Lee. For making these videos.
Im on 12 days no contact, i dont understand, she really said she hates me for my faults, i apologized last email and go no contact after this, and 3 days ago she tweet she miss me, nostalgia and said "hey girls can we get back together with someone who was toxic and really changed" (i precise that i was toxic for her because i begged and dont give her enough space and dont respect her decision after breakup) and i was happy to see that she think about me 3 days ago but today she tweet about how guys on university was pretty, idk if she really misses me or if it was just a temporary "nostalgia phase"
It’s almost been a year this September. My ex said that don’t have time for me even if I was to move up there still no time for me. That I did nothing wrong it wasn’t me. But only for my ex to make new friends I thought that was BS. My ex knew my my feelings I made it clear.Just hurt is all.
What if I broke up with my fearful avoidant partner after 6 months of relationship? I said that every time I come closer, he pushes me away. I love him, but if he doesn't wanna work on that, I don't wanna cause pain for both of us. I don't even know if I want him back.
It has been 2 years since i started No Contact and even though i am better personally, i still want that message from her...
How long is enough hoping for that?
i think by now you should be getting that off your shoulder and start to live a new and better life with someone.
there is always some hope and in a lot of cases they do reach out after years, but at 2 years it’s just to much time and attention to give someone else.
It's time to let go of what doesn't exist anymore. You need to move forward without looking in the rear view mirror
Live your life bro. Why wait for someone. Focus on yourself.
I just had an x reach out today that I had a LTR w after 7 years, however it’s not my recent x that broke up w me 5 months ago that I love and want to spend my life with..
No you don’t. She doesn’t care about your wants and the relationship failed. Have some self respect and move on with your life as she did. There are plenty people who say exactly what you wrote, yet they are happily married to someone else.
We had a relationship for over 2 years and we were always together because we cared for each other and our time together so much. However, he broke up with my 1,5 week ago and my heart is absolutely shattered. I can’t sleep and I can’t eat. I’ve seen on his social media that he’s already seeing someone else and all his friends follow her as well which just seems so quick to me and it hurts really bad. I guess he’s happy with her and he had probably been thinking about
breaking up with with me for a while as he seems to move on so fast. Do you still think there will be a good chance of him coming back if I keep up the no contact? It’s actually making me crazy and I want to tell him to choose me so badly, but I know that won’t help right now. The last time we spoke he did say he wanted to check in on me from time to time to see how I would be doing, because he cares and he also said he would do anything to get me back if he would ever regret is decision.However I don’t know whether or not he will stick to that since he seems to already have moved on
Can i consider him wishing me an happy birthday , as him trying to reach out? Or him being just polite??
It could go either way. It depends on what else he has said and done. If it is just a birthday wish and that’s all, it’s likely he is just being polite. But that doesn’t mean it can’t turn into more.
Just to give people my story:
My ex and I have now been broken up for more than 2 years, complete no contact. While we were together attraction was always strong, after several bad fights we had an intense breakup. My ex girlfriend has stalked me, blocked/unblocked me several times in the past 2 years but never reached out. I have been with other people and have moved forward with my life and feel great about myself. I have no idea why she never reached out and I don’t really care anymore. She does owe me and members of my family an apology but she never came forward with an apology and I’ve never broken no contact either.
Hi, your ex is probably an egoist and she will not reach you until she gets anxious. It can last in months or years depending how long your ex can resist to contact you. Even dumpers never forget ex. And they for sure get conscious especially if they hurt a good person.. your ex will for sure once contact you and crawl back maybe not soon maybe for 10 years but she will contact you after the next few disappointments with partners you can see on you tube mostly all women crying after leaving good men. Bit if she contact you never take her back.
@@danijelkruselj1855 Or it could be that the relationship ended and there’s no hard feelings. He wrote that they had bad fights. Who wants to be in a relationship with fights and arguments. Of course dumpers remember their ex’s, it helps remind you not make the same mistake twice. If you’re a good person your ex would want you. Either way, I’ve never returned to a failed relationship even when they came back apologizing or wanting to sincerely rekindle… that reeks of desperation or fear of being alone. No one should even settle for such a tragedy.
@@danijelkruselj1855She’s already taken too long for that. My type has changed, and I’m so much more in my element now than ever before. Without sounding rude, I have definitely been with much smarter, accomplished, and more attractive women since her. We had a great romantic story but apart from that, there’s no reason to take my ex back, whether it’s now or 10 years later. Thanks for your comment anyway, it’s so true!
Can you make some new videos on the psychology of rebound relationships. You haven't done one for a long time
It's been nearly two years. There's been some contact and I know she wants me but I think she expects me to do it so even though she broke up. She still owes me a lot of money that's why I'm still in some contact
You are the best, really mean it!
What if I did no contact for the first 7 months after the break up, mainly because my ex was keeping reaching out. Can I go no contact now? Or it will not make any difference after so many months? Thank you ❤
Coach Lee can you make a video about the difference of break and break up? My partner wants to take a break for a uni but he said it’s not breaking up just a time away..
I’m closing in on 2 months and she still has me unfollowed on every social and blocked on Instagram…is that a bad sign?
Thank You Coach ...
Question for the people here: How long was it until your ex reached out to you?
Were they in a rebound?
Been 8.5mos & still going & yes she monkeybranched. BUT ive leveled up & been NC & dont wanna be hitched up with a woman that doesnt wanna be w me. 9yrs together. She bailed. Her loss.
@@HopeFaithExpect77 Wow 9 years invested and she bails. Nothing new under the sun. Yea bro keep leveling up nice work. The monkey branching will eventually fall apart too
No one who has self respect keeps up with an ex once the relationship ends. That’s pathetic and a complete waste of time.
Coach Lee, my ex from LTR reached out 6 months after with short message “if you in my city I’d like to know”. At that time I didn’t respond and now I regret, it’s been 7 months since his last message. Even we not meant to be I feel I should ve responded even if I don’t plan to visit his city. What is best thing to do now? Regretting so much…
I’ve never understood people who communicate or keep up with an ex in any capacity. It’s strange how people breaking up a want to stay in contact. I’ve never cared to be curious about anything concerning an ex a few moments after they become an ex.
@@standground7956 👍
It was a 9year old relationship and he broke up ,this is day 34 of NC he hasn’t reached out yet on a 90days agreed upon NC
Should I be worried or should I just give up?
DOES THIS COUNT AS NO CONTACT? >>>>>>>
>>>>>>>We had a fight, he pushed me to my limits where I felt SO drained from the relationship. He did a thing I told him not to do to me before sleeping(again and again). Blocked him(not everywhere). He reached out to me over email feeling so mad and angry, telling me it is over etc. But still continued mailing, an in the end he didn't respond to my last mail. Also, I will see him for sure again in 1.5 month(currently he is not in the country but will come to pick up his things and documents, he didn't want me to send it to him btw).
Coach, my ex and I broke up 3months ago due to her constant lying, she's the one who broke up with me because of the toxicity of our relationship. But right after we broke up we were still communicating that leads to a very unpleasant interactions like constantly fighting, hot and cold treatment. But on the 1st week of August this year, we got into a big fight that led her to blocked me everywhere, but she still has my fb account and she sometimes opens it since I didn't change the password. It's been 3months since we broke up but it's only been days since I gave up trying to contact her after she blocked me everywhere. Did I just lost my chance on reconnecting with my ex since I pushed her to the limit with our fight before she blocked me? Is it too late to do the NC rule? Is there still a chance I can get her back? Btw, we're LDR, so I am really losing hope and afraid that she might find someone new. Is it possible to attract her again coach? What should I do.
So you want to get back into a relationship with a liar and someone you constantly fight with. Is there a reason why your standards are that low? Do you lack self respect and believe that a relationship like that is what you deserve?
If you do, then that’s exactly why she doesn’t want you. If you can’t respect yourself then why should she respect you.
men will come back, women already left you for somebody else, so they will not return but if they return don't let them... Your dignity is worth more than every pus..y in the world... I watched coach in last 2 years after huge pain era...
What if it's been 8 years? I did everything wrong. We've been in the friend zone for the last 5 years.
Been six months my millie has been gone. Time to move on ive waited long enough. Can only work with the willing
Honestly my situation sucks because we broke up back in May, we didn’t talk until the end of June, she had blocked me and she reached out with a phone call at the end of June, we hung out all of July I worked on myself so hard and well we still had a few issues with communication but we wanted to work out. But the beginning of August we had a fall out when we went out and had a fun night by the end of it she ended up leaving me for a certain reason and didn’t wanna talk to me I was left confused and she blocked me it’s been 3 weeks and honestly I’m learning to let go as much I love her I’m telling myself since then that I’ll be okay and if it’s meant to be will be but I love myself as well. It’s not easy to just give up but feels like she did but this isn’t the first time except this time she didn’t give me any warnings. First time she told me to work on myself which I did.
My situation is kind of similar because in the 8 1/2 years we’ve been together he’s wanted to break up at least 3 times prior which lasted anywhere from a few days to 7 weeks. But each time I ended up contacting him to talk through it and he admitted he didn’t want to break up, that he just goes there when he feels backed into a corner because he doesn’t communicate feelings very well. But I can tell you from my personal experience that the first I was devastated, the second time similarly heartbroken, the third time I lasted 7 weeks in NC but now the 4th time I honestly am hurt but I am tired of being discarded like this and feeling like a yo-yo and feeling that he can throw us aside every time he gets upset and then think I’ll come back. He’s been in my life as a close friend a total of 26 years and together 8 1/2 years and I’ll always love him but at this point I think I need to let go unless he can come to me and actually communicate and take things slow. Even though I trust him with my life, I don’t necessarily trust him with my heart anymore if that makes sense? Sorry, that got a little long winded. Hang in there.
@@katiemama6x639I’m sorry to hear that :/ I Just miss her so much I wish we can just talk it over and make amends and try again I am doing better than before and it still hurts but I know that maybe her blocking me is her way of not giving in and maybe working on herself I hope she is because that’s what we both said we would
Not for sure if I did good or bad, but I deleted all of my social media. I noticed that somebody’s been watching my story that’s no longer my friend and I believe it’s her and it’s tearing me apart and I can’t seem to stop posting low vibrational low as me videos because I’m still heartbroken, I figured if I delete social media, she won’t be able to see me anymore. She can’t spy on me a bad choice?
Nothings wrong with posting or being on social media, all in all even during the heartache of the breakup you still must live your best life. Try doing more productive and positive things, not only will it create happiness for yourself but you feeding the universe positivity and if she’s it or not it’ll be good for you.
I'm guessing 4 years is no hope lol I'm fine but no contact definitely didn't work for me
I have a question about the whole blocking thing. She hasn’t contacted me in over 2 months. She has me blocked on social media & over the phone. However, she has her phone not synced up with her laptop & will look at my texts later on. Meaning, I’ll send a text that won’t say delivered then later that day or the next, the message will say delivered. That’s her breaking her own no contact rule, right?
Why do you care? She an ex, so why not move on since there are other guys she likely hasn’t blocked. Are you allergic to pursuing a relationship with another person?
My ex now claims he want's me back now because I'm not thinking about him. and now he is reaching out to me now and , he knows that he made a mistake because he thought the grass was greener on the other side and now he realized that it wasn't greener on the other side and I w as the better choice for him it's to late for him now❤😂🎉😢😮😅😊
People will have green beautiful grass and yet still look for greener, then they're shocked that that's not how life is ..
What should I do if in 2 weeks I accidentally called to my ex?
Should I start the no contact from beggining?
My ex broke up with me over text last Friday and I immediately went into no contact and didn’t respond because I was in shock… did I mess up by not saying anything at all? Today is day 5 and I still haven’t said anything. I was totally blindsided because we were so close/connected ( or so I thought) 😓
You did absolutely correct let them feel your absence.... Silence is powerful 💪💪...dont reach out to them
I wouldn't reach out either.
Otherwise you should find out for yourself what really happened. It takes time till your intuition kicks in.
If he REALLY meant it, breakup up via text message, he is a coward and you deserve better.
Nobody should end a relationship via text.
I had a gf of 3 years end a relationship via text. You’re right, I remember not responding from the shock. She was away visiting her parents for a month. I went no contact. When she returned she was angry that I “didn’t respond or try to fight for our relationship”. She assaulted me because I calmly looked her in the eyes and told her that she broke up with me via text and if I fought for her that would make me look absolutely pathetic and more of a coward than her.
I left and her parents actually came to my house to convince me to rekindle our relationship saying it was a test. I asked that they respectfully let their daughter know to count me as a fail, life is too short for mind games and loyalty tests. I never spoke a word to either of them after the conversation and was never curious about anything concerning her after that conversation ended. A relationship ending is never a mistake and should always be viewed as a positive.
Hopefully your ex isn’t playing games, either way you should move on and cease contact, not to be mean but because it’s the right thing to do.
Same thing happened to me. He sent me a text ending things I was so shocked and speechless I didn’t respond.
I am on 43rd day of no contact. But I’ve made mistakes in the relationship.. Should I approach her first or should wait?
did she break up with u? u could try reaching out and apolgizing and ask for rekindling.
Its been 7 months now, havent and wont reach out. Ive given up but it does still eat at me.
I want to return her belongings, but I don't have a PO Box, and she only gets packages through a PO Box. Her family really liked me so I was thinking of just dropping it off. This would break my no contact though. Any thoughts?
I had some of my X’s stuff. I put it in the attic and fantasized about returning their things. Fast-forward eight months, and I ended up donating their things and burning cards and letters. It was very cathartic. Your ex left his stuff? Now it's yours to do with as you please. From my experience keeping it kept me tethered to him energetically.
If they really wanted that stuff, they would have likely asked for it by now. They don't want any of it and you're just going to use it as a way to establish contact with your ex. If I were you, I would get rid of the stuff immediately and start healing from the loss and moving forward with your life.
@sloanmagnum5009 I agree with what you're saying. I have pretty much accepted the situation and have started talking to other women. I do have a situation where she is responsible for a bill, and it's not being paid anymore. $3000 worth. So it's more of a way to hopefully find a solution for this problem.
Of course, I didn't expect a breakup to happen. It was all so sudden. It's been almost 7 months
Any thoughts on men who monkey branch?mine left me for another women. There was no fighting and we were still very passionate. So why would he do this?
I am enough I was enough we had a good relationship until his ex came in then he left me
But should we still believe in a possible reach out even after 6 months of no contact? I’m trying to be positive but also realistic.
Move on
No, if they broke up with you and they love you enough they will reach out, if they don’t maybe this person isn’t for you and you’re close to finding your person
After no contact at the 6 month mark it's time to move on. However you could reach out now yourself, it can't hurt
Coach Lee said it is possible for an ex to reach after 11 years. Regardless you should move on. They will reach out eventually, and you will know what to do afterwards. Focus on yourself, your life isn't over. Listen to the song "the best is yet to come" by Scorpions. Think of it as having a private holiday just for you, enrich your life in this season and level up.
Oh, and yes it is possible for an ex to reach out after 8 months, 1 year, 2 years etc. Just keep levelling up and stop counting the days since your last contact. You only have a limited number of days in your life. Don't make them all about that person, who (for the moment) doesn't appreciate you ...
its been 5 months since he broke up with me should i lose hope?
If my ex went back to his previous ex of 18 years in the country where he was born, is that it for me? We were together for 5 years. Do I just let him go and move on with my life?
I broke no contact so i don't have any hope 😢😢😢😢
I am so confused.. I am in no contact but she is reaching out to me so I contact her back. Our marriage breakup wasn't an issue of lack of combability, or fighting, we just faded away and she wanted the seperation. The confusing part is why is she contacting me, is she caring for me and wants me to be ok, or does she want me back. Obviously I'm not going to ask if she wants me back cos I'll mess up everything terribly, and she will realise that I am still available for her which tbh I am cos I still lover her.
Does this apply if your ex is crazy? lol