Why Did My Ex Give Up On Us and Me?
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 30 ธ.ค. 2020
- Why did your ex give up and just quit on your relationship and on you?
In this video Coach Lee explains what causes or contributes greatly to a breakup and if it's your ex not being willing to work on your relationship because they gave up.
This matter can be especially confusing when the relationship seemed healthy and wonderful to the person being dumped. If a breakup seems to come out of the blue, it often seems like the other person just tossed the relationship aside without any effort and as though they thought the relationship wasn't worth much.
Coach Lee discusses these issues in this powerful video.
Get Coach Lee’s Emergency Breakup Kit at myexbackcoach.com/emergency-b...
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Videos mentioned in this one:
Stages Your Ex Goes Through During No Contact: • Stages Ex Goes Through...
Psychology of the No Contact Rule: studio.th-cam.com/users/videoGrKt...
What Is Limerence? • What Is Limerence?
If you benefited from this video, you can leave Coach Lee a tip at myexbackcoach.com/tip-jar/
when my gf broke up with me, coach lee was one of the first people I saw on how to get over breakups and the no contact rule. something I never knew or even thought about. fast forward a few months, and after using no contact the right way, she came back and now we've been together for 2 years and she is the one investing in me now. I took her off that pedestal and I realized my worth and changed my bad habits. this stuff really does work and I thank coach lee for this.
Your story gives me hope in my situation
Amazing love this
I've had some experience with no contact before, and it's worked. But I still doubt the power of it sometimes. Me and my ex (long distance) had a very happy 2 years, and were never truly toxic for each other. However her mental health had severely declined over time, and her self-esteem kept continuing to drop despite all my efforts. The distance also seemed to have gotten to her, and she wanted someone in person. She would try to break up, however I'd always talk her out of it because she would always say that she "doesn't feel good enough for me." Eventually though enough was enough, and I guess she decided to leave me for another guy. It was a complicated situation and I stuck around for 2-3 months to see if she'd come back, but she was always too unresponsive or confused it seemed like. Even after he broke up with her around this time, I thought she would take the time to reflect. But instead I found out on accident (thanks Instagram for "based on photos you liked.") she's in another relationship only two weeks from the last (with another guy who really doesn't seem anything at all like me).
I started no contact a week before Christmas and she sent me a greeting to my surprise, and a week later asked me over voice message if I still wanted to watch season 2 of Dr. Stone when it comes out like we had planned (when we were together). I texted her yes a few hours later, but very shortly after that was also when I found out about the new guy, so I asked if she was dating anyone (to see if she would tell me, and also because I wouldn't wanna watch it while she's with someone). It's been two weeks since then without a reply, and I was blocked the next day on Facebook. Not sure if she suspects that I found out thru Facebook, or is just trying to hide the guy from me not knowing that I actually found out thru other means? But I suppose that doesn't really matter in the end. Who knows if my number is also blocked though at this point as well, so I never said anything else back. I'm not really looking to find out..
Anyway I'm glad to see it worked for you.. I genuinely hope she comes back. We were supposed to meet for the first time in October after three years of waiting, but covid ruined our plans (plans we made since a year before) and now I'm in this mess. She doesn't seem to be completely opposed to dating again when I asked in our last phone call, but she would prefer if I can be there in person. With that said I do actually feel like I still need to see her regardless on if we could date or not again, just for proper closure. But it's still something that crosses my mind.. Will I ever have her back again? Having her gone from my life honestly feels like a dream. It's such a painful feeling as well waking up knowing that you just had a dream about the person you love, and it not being true. I had a few dreams about her already. In particular ones of her and us being intimate, and me staring at my phone seeing a text from her giving me a proper apology, as well as showing willingness to repair our relationship. Sorry that was a long message, but thank you for reading if you did. Hope things continue to still do well for you.
Thanks for the inspiration. Congrats!!
Thank you Luke, you're giving me hope. But I'm afraid because she's found someone else and she says she's happy. I made her happy and I cared for her. I even saved her from suicide. Now I've disappeared for a month and about two weeks. She hasn't said anything.
Relationships based on temporary attraction fluctuations are worthless. That's why successful relationships have people that say love is a choice not an emotion.
So very true
There is no need to look for reasons why our exes gave up on us. The simple answer is that love was one sided.
The moment my ex girlfriend told me that she has decided to step out of our relationship, I just decided to let her go, no matter how hard it was. I'd rather be alone and keep my dignity than be with a person who isn't ready to emotionally be with me.
2 months have passed since then and there isn't a day I didn't think of her but I can't do anything other than staying in eternal no contact and just focusing on my future!
Yes it hurts like hell but why be with someone who easily gives up on your relationship. They don’t love, respect you and probably never did. We need to find someone who truly values us and will to put in the work to stay together. Attraction will come and go over time in long term relationship.
exactly 2 months here as well. mine left after i retired from the air force and moved across the country to get my kids situated. She grew impatient after a few months and breaks up with me out of the blue. it was like being shot in the stomach after all the stress i put myself through in the 4 years we were together. nothing I can do i guess
It's gonna hurt be strong 💪 it's hard one day at a time god bless 🙏🙏 .
@@edwinhakobyan7481 for real, really I'm with you on that
@@indaybadiday8884 Yet here you are.
Why stay with a person whose “emotional attraction” continues to fall? Isn’t is connected to maturity? How can you have a long term relationship with a person who is constantly struggling and don’t communicate or work thru the difficult times to regain desire and motivation? Who wants this stress?
Is that what you are experiencing?
Exactly, they will continue the cycle because they need to work on communication, fidelity and themselves.
yes.....it's like my ex girlfriend right now who just loves the drama and feels she has to go along with what her annoying friends are telling her all of which are miserable with their own relationships themselves married to older men in their 70's lacking any kind of intimacy whatsoever. I feel like i can't win. helpless
Great question! I honestly can’t answer it. For me: I just feel drawn to keep trying instead of finding someone new.
@@stephaniemand i agree with this 100%
Almost 3 weeks of NC...I'm feeling nostalgic and sad and I miss this person so much, but I'm also feeling peaceful because I know I did everything in my power to save the relationship and I was so supportive and loving. I know that I can't blame myself and I'm slowly learning to let it go. Time heals wounds, but I know that the scar will always be there, but I'm okay with it. Scar is there to remind me of pain but also a good lesson for the future.
If they can’t appreciate u dude it’s their problem
😞
same here, wish you the best
@@olajideogunlana5016 don't reply, today... Reply tomrw. And reply calmly, in a way that you don't give her the impression that you have been waiting to hear from her
@@olajideogunlana5016 good now, u should ask her, If she is stil keeping well but only like one sentence and only after she has replied
Focus on yourself. Don’t spend your energy trying to regain attraction in someone else’s eyes. You’ll never be good enough for the wrong person anyways. If they come back around great- if they don’t - prayerfully the right person will come along. Some people just aren’t right for us
'You'll never be good enough for the wrong person' - That hit hard. I can now put a time limit on working on trying to turn this around as i'm just torturing myself and damaging my self esteem by the day with this occupying so much of my mind, I thank you for that greatly.
@@elharrop You are definitely going to have to work to regain your self esteem. Whether your ex made u feel inadequate, or a history of rejection, or failed previous relationships. Check out RC Blake’s channel here on TH-cam. I’ve found some helpful tools on his channel.
I wish I knew that BEFORE the five months of going out with him. I wish I knew that also BEFORE his dad did something annoying and weird.
Based on my experience the emotional attraction falls or lowers when there is reduction in meeting in person or physically. Communication via texting or phone or video call is never as effective as in person communication.
Yup. My ex gf dumped me after not seeing each other for 2 months (covid) but the weird part is we went long distance for a while thru college.
I agree. We barely spoke on the phone, and basically just seeing each other on the weekends.
😕
@@lettie1569 same
@@pupbun2849 how are you now? are you 2 back together?
I agree with Coach Lee, it all down to attraction, but it really hurts to hear that. It just hit our ego and self-esteem. It hurts a lot when we know that a person who was attracted to us physically, emotionally, intellectually is not attracted anymore. It just hits our ego badly, and make us feel less.
Coach lee, you have been a big help for me this year. I wasn’t successful with getting my ex back this year but your videos still helped me learn from all my mistakes. I’ve really appreciated all the videos you put out. I think I’m done trying to get my ex back though. But I’m gonna continue to watch your videos and learn from them. Happy new year
me too, ive learned a lot
I got my mind stolen by my vices. I was high all the time, I was always playing games and on my cellphone, eating junk food, and constant exposure to adult content made me less interested in her. Just because you're not fighting loudly and hating each other doesnt mean your relationship isn't in danger. Sometimes it's a lot of small vices that destroy your bond and make you lose them.
I feel the same way. Little things got in my mind and separated us. This stuff hurts!
Same
This is my experience with my ex. He was always on his device, high and or drinking. He broke up with me after a year of living together and I am crushed. I know I was far from a perfect girlfriend but I was always willing to keep trying. After 2 weeks of limited contact he tried to initiate sex but I resisted even though I wanted it too. Now I am even sadder because the breakup feels fresher than ever. I feel like my working hard on myself has begun attracting him back but I dont want to ruin anything by giving in to urges. I still love him and am rtyng to let go but now im sadder than ever.
This is what I did too. I'm hoping she sees that I'm sober now and after some much needed no contact she reaches out again. If not I'm still doing good for myself
Followed the advice about slowly building up emotional attraction with patience and it worked. We are back together and super happy after 6 weeks no contact. I admit i called him though. But that was after running into him and it was obvious he missed me like crazy. In fact getting back together was his idea but we took things very slow in order to build the emotional attraction. Almost 2 months of just dating and not rushing to define the relationship. Now we are officially together. Thanks!
I wish my ex will do the same 😔
Hey I’m pleased it worked out for you! How are you guys getting on now? 🙂
Lucky :(
You’re so lucky
Hands down the best relationship coach on the internet. Thank you for always being there, you’ve helped me get through some tough times and I appreciate it.
100%. honest and sincere. He is the best , and believe me, I have listened to so many of them.
If someone is wondering if no contact works or not, trust me, it does. My ex (1 year relationship) reached out to me after 6 MONTHS. After that, we continued dating for 5-6 more years. To be honest, she broke up with me again, but this time it’s 100% my fault, and thankfully I learned my lesson from the first break up and didn’t beg or try to convince her to stay with this time, I’m trusting no contact, no contact is the way to go.
Coach I've watched every one of your videos multiple times and I'm just amazed at how ridiculously on point you are! This is my situation exactly. We had a great relationship for about a year, and we actually broke up temporarily a couple weeks before the actual breakup, but got back together. She told me a bunch of things that had contributed to her wanting to end it, but at the same time she said that she never wanted it to end and that if I had proposed earlier this year she would have said yes in a heartbeat (which was crushing for me to hear). Before the second time we broke up I put tons of thought into how I would fix these issues, and I came to her with my list of improvements that I would work on. She actually said that that list hurt her even more because I could have been trying to do these things all along and maybe she wouldn't have felt the way she did. It hasn't made any sense until right now when I watched your video. I did the wrong thing by begging and pleading for almost 2 weeks afterwards, but I'm currently 3 weeks into no contact and finally starting to be able to sleep at night. You're the best Coach Lee.
I did the same thing with the list...she said “it shouldn’t take someone feeling bad or breaking up with you to do those things.” I don’t get it.
Happy for you!
@@DB-lr6kl I didnt come with no list but I told her I need to change. I just need to get stronger tho cuz the breakup got me weak
My ex uploaded a photo with my hoodie.
I don't know what to do, but I won't break NC because of that.
For you guys that are struggling with NC, keep fighting, it'll get easier eventually.
Stay safe, stay healthy, you're loved.
Exactly. That's not enough effort on their part for you to reach out.
For anyone wondering that’s when they put out bait to see if you will reach out… don’t
I was married for 21 years. We had a lot of fun, rarely had an argument, and were laughing hand in hand until the end. After the kids grew up and left, we had even more fun. We bought motorcycles (on her request) and we were totally in love with riding together. We'd be excited and waking each other up in the morning. We were always together, and when I'd come home from work, she'd come to the door for a hug and a kiss and talk about our day.
One day she bought an online game and sank her life into it. All day and all night she'd play... every day. We began to argue about it, until one day she decided to call "separation" and she moved to the basement for 6 months before moving out. Her plans were to move in with her online lover that lived 3000 miles away who she had never met; it never happened.
Anyways, there was very little contact while she lived in the basement, and 6 months after moving out, we were divorced due to her filing for divorce.
We've been divorced 1 1/2 years. We saw each other twice right after the divorce. That was to come pick up some belongings, then to pick up her motorcycle. She called me "honey" (that's what she called me for 21 years) when she talked to me as I helped her pack her stuff into the truck.
We haven't talked or contacted since. It's been 2 1/2 years, so I've done a lot of healing. I have no idea at all what happened to suddenly do this to us.
She has also stopped all contact with her parents and her children, except our youngest child. She was buried in her game until she moved out of our basement; not sure if she's still at it now; I don't ask.
This is very different to what normally happens. It's like somebody else kicked my wife out of her body, and took it for themselves.
It would sure be nice to have an explanation as to what happened. I loved her with all my heart. I thought we would be soulmates beyond this life. We had so much fun and pleasure together all through our marriage.
I've made it through this, and I'm feeling much better these days. But I still have dreams, where I see her on the street. In my dreams we just walk by each other.
Is there an explanation to this break up? I can't seem to find anything like this.
Who knows? maybe this sort of thing could be a topic for a video.
I'll add to this: The attraction that is lost to you, very often is due to the attraction of another. I believe that after they leave, if they make contact, it's because their alternate plans didn't work out, and they need you to lean on for a while longer. Eventually, if they left you once, it won't be long before they leave you again. Leaving is always meant to be final; sometimes they jump the gun, and need some more time.
That really sounds like the most awful situation to be in especially this time of year. Ive been heartbroken for the past 2 months only and it really hurts still.
@@barflin I feel terrible for you. You have to look after yourself... eat healthy and exercise. It's a long road when you've truly loved somebody.
I really feel sorry for you that's so unfair 😞
@@robertmoruri6762 As time moves on, you realize how little someone cared about you. Obviously there was something I missed. I would sure like to know what happened, or what I missed.
@@ianbrown5955 ....Thank you so much. wishing you a Happy New Year.
Sometimes, it can even take a year or a little bit longer. We should still continue the no-contact rule. Happy New Year.
i doubt it with avoidants .happy new year
@@WHaAteVaA avoidants might take longer than you think is what I just told you.
@@wilsontunner4510 how much does this man bench press? 🤔. Asking for a friend!
You think so Jason?
This year he didn't greet me on Christmas, on my birthday and on New Year. It felt like we broke up again. I don't think I can ever move on. I planned the future with him already. :(
Happy New Year everyone! may this year bring joy to you, your soulmate, your love of life, doesnt matter if it is ex or no. Jut be happy! Be loved and love! BE the best version of yourself FOR yourself!
Happy New Year 2021
Happy new year!
@@patrickhoven3816 how much does this powerful man bench press? Asking for a friend. 🤔
@@aidenojiemarvis4743 how much does this powerful man bench press? Asking for a friend 🤔
@@sergiogodinez2496 he didn't charge me any money
After 100’S of videos trying to understand my situation this video hit the nail on the head. So incredibly grateful!
This is painful to hear that they lost emotional attraction toward us but this insight is spot on. We were having issues due to long distance. I went on no contact twice, once he took me out on a date. Then no contact again until we met briefly while I was passing by his town. Now as I reflect on the relationship and why it ended, it hurts more but probably for the best. I am back to no contact.
Brilliant commentary! Beautifully explained! I never looked at attraction from this angle.
This is so spot on, in my situation. I am so happy I listened to this.
Breakup sucks. Sometimes u feel like recovering. Sometimes u just feel so depressed and so dark. Watching ur videos is like a therapy. But I wish I could have a call with coach lee
This video is amazingly insightful! You articulated so well what I was feeling, but didn’t have the words to express. Thank you for this coach lee, now excuse me while I go watch it again
Great video Coach Lee, my favorite so far. A bit hard hitting but it’s good to take a look at what we did to cause any problems that lowered attraction and to take responsibility for that. Thank you!
I don’t see it as they gave up. They just couldn’t see the beauty in front of them. It’s their flaw. 🙏🏽
Coach Lee you're such a blessing. When I'm going though this major anxiety and heartbreak you're such a calming force in my life . I'm on day 67 of NC. You had helped me tremendously . I don't think I want my ex anymore and just wants to move on with my life . But your videos had helped me so much . Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️
“Happy New Year @Coach Lee”
It feels hopeless.
Broke up just before Christmas (first few days etc of December).
I miss her so much!.
Thank you for your videos; they’ve really helped somewhat during some very dark days/night.
-All the best
Whenever I feel like I'm going to break, Coach Lee always gives me the strength to continue no contact!
How are you now
Coach Lee... You always inspire and lift me in a Positive Way!!! No other Coaches that i have found make me Consistently feel Optimistic about the Future No Matter What it may Look Like!!!
Many Thanks,
Elliot
The videos are hands down the best, but we need you coach.
I totally respect the fact that you probably have many reasons to it, but please give us a chance to book phone calls again as soon as you can. I never had the chance to do so.
I honestly believe the recovery it is not far to happen, but I truly need some advice, and do not trust anyone else. It means too much for me to take it for granted and do not try my best.
This is beyond helpful and the fact that it came out 2 hours ago is amazing
same here. i was here feeling sad about my ex girlfriend and our breakup watching this video. still in disbelief after 2 months.
Thank you Coach Lee! Your explanation has brought clarity to my situation. I reflected while listening to your video and it made me realise that my ex did try to work on the relationship. I have much to work on!
Such important framing on the power of emotional attraction. Building your confidence helps too
Only on day 5 of NC but I'm trying to hang in there. I'm really struggling today though... Thanks to Coach's videos for getting me through these moments. You're a life saver, Coach.
I hope I’ll be able to thank this New Year’s Eve that staying alone and it’ll make me strong.
188 days since no contact. I will always watch coach Lee's new video. Maybe something about his voice and the way he explain this is different than other relationship coaches. I feel calm and hope (even though I know hope is almost close to none).
Please don't market spam whatsapp about some people can get my ex back in few days, i am so annoyed every time I comment at coach lee's video, I'll get that reply instead of genuine one. 😡😡
Coach lee, I hope you know how much you have helped me and so many people I am sure. i live for your videos as they have given me so much information and so much insight. Happy New year to you and all of you here.
I’ve been told by friends if a man allows 48hrs to go by without reaching out…. They don’t want you and it’s over for good. It’s been over two weeks..,.. im here for hope but preparing my heart for this truth 😢
Coach Lee
You helped me so much when I needed it most,this year during Covid19...my first relationship/first dumping...you're God sent😉
Thanks for everything Lee. I'm still struggling after a long break-up but your video's help a lot!
This was a very enlightening perspective. It isn't the issues it's the attraction. I saw it coming for months but didn't think she would actually leave. Tried working things out for 2 weeks after she left but she was very negative so I have since slipped into no contact. Was very hard but has allowed me to step back and see everything from an observer point of view. Whatever happens just trust the process.
I'm at a point where I feel I'm doing No Contact naturally and don't really care anymore; only got reminded I'm doing it because I saw one of Coach Lee's videos. Good luck to you, guys and gals.
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....
After a year and three months I’m still thinking of my ex. It’s taking a lot of time for me to heal. On good days I forget that difficult time happened but on bad days I find myself in that sad place and cry. I feel like I’m never going to find love or worthy enough for happiness. He was my first bf and I’m turning 32 soon, life is on hold in lockdown. I feel pathetic for feeling this way.
Hey how are u sis? Im 34yrs old next year of January. My bf just broke up with me just recently, i thought we were good and going to get married soon but he gave up. Im so hopeless already. My dream of having my own family and kids just shuttered instantly. I hope you already moved on and find the right man for you.
Happy New Year Lee! I do have an update! When we bumped at the gym’s door a couple of days ago I walked out of the door while he just stood there, ( mind you he did not approach), now this happened several months after he told me to speak to his lawyer when i tried approaching him at that time amidst divorce and me trying everything in my power to save this still despite how he has continued to make mistakes by hurting me!
Happy new to coach Lee and everyone...... coach u r an angel....Love u so much...♥️ Doing fabulous work.... carry on
All the very best everyone ❤️
We didn't fight for 2+ years. I got blindsided. One fight she was gone
alan b. One disagreement? Something does not sound right with her. You're probably better off.
Thank you for this video Coach Lee! Is there a video about how to prevent attraction from falling in the first place? You speak to attraction falling over time due to life/little things in relationship, so assuming those things happen in every relationship, I'd love to know how to maintain attraction despite it so the relationship doesn't get to this point you talked about in this video.
This Video Really brings what I need to do into the light. I was thinking it was the things I was doing wrong in my marriage, even though that is Important to fix and correct those Issues it's not the Key Elements the two Key Elements are sticking with contuing "No Contact" as well as my attraction my appearance that I allowed to slide and I started getting Lazy about and if I do see my ex again so I look attractive to Him and he sees how attractive I have Always found him my x to be to me. Than, comes the things like how I can be Controlling and act like his mother towards him etc..... Thank You, Coach Lee I really enjoyed this Video that you just released.
A BEST EVER COACH LEE VIDEO...
EVERY 'LONG DISTANCE' RELATIONSHIP BREAK UP UNANSWERED QUESTION - finally ANSWERED.
THANK YOU COACH LEE.
I'm working on my rekationdhip with myself 1st ' before Ianything else. whilst observing NO CONTACT since end Augyst this year.
All I can say is that, all your videos are on point and very helpful couch Lee💖base on my experience for having a long distance relationship for 5yrs
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....
1 year 2 months post-breakup and how I wish I would have found you in the beginning of my breakup. I have watched several of your other videos and love that you have broken this down to such simplicity. I have made so many mistakes in my journey to get my Ex back that I hope I can recover from it. We have continually had communication throughout the breakup and he says that he does still love me eventhough there have been rebound relationships within this breakup. I see that as a very good sign but I have started distancing myself significantly as you suggested and adamantly started working on MYSELF for me and hopefully get him to miss me and our relationship. I am praying 🙏 for the best.
I'm on 5 weeks of NC with my ex. Here's my humble advise:
At first it's rough..really rough, but you must use that negative energy and turn it into you just doing things that you enjoy. Get deeper into old hobbies, get to the gym..or go there more, be a better parent or better support for family members. Live you're life!
Please understand a gf/bf is a supplement in you're life..and not the end or be all.
And trust me, NC will make you see you're own faults in yourself so whichever relationship is next, you don't repeat them.
You're goal is to get to emotional neutral, so you can move on or go back with you're ex, like it all was started over and not placing blame on eithier side.
Personally..yeah I miss my ex, but I care enough to let her do as she wishes, and get her space. And for myself I needed it as well.
We actually split up last summer and after NC for 2 or so months, got things far better.
NC works for both sides and if you get back together, you will have a deeper bond.
But it must be a mutual effort for both involved, to make that bond even better then ever.
Just to add:
Personally finding new friendships opened up new doors in my life. And going back to dating was refreshing.
I leave all options open now and if my ex gets back to me, then we'll see what happens.
@@poedottaviano6924 Very proud of you. ⚘️
@@jannlewandowski5540 Thank you 😊
My husband of 8 years left three months ago. We have filed for divorce. I have no answers. Going no contact to heal my heart.
Rebecca Anderton, you deserve better
He will be back
Just broke up with an ex 2 days ago. We were engaged but long distance relationship. I was the one who cut it off. Watching your videos are teaching me the mistakes I have done and making me evaluate what I want for myself.
This is super on point, Coach Lee especially the LDR part. I tried convincing my ex to meet him by going to their house 200kms away from me despite the difficulty in looking for a car rental and travel docs needed due to the pandemic and he was unhappy with that idea. It really hurts me that I wasn't even able to try saving the relationship because he prevented me from doing so...
Same exactly thing happened to me. She wouldn’t give a even a few minutes of her time.
@@axelbriggjern3534 yes, indeed. It's making me hopeless in this current situation..
@@U.Sir.Name7 that's unfortunate to hear.. it's hard when both of you are not really on the same page and for me, I just realized that if I risked traveling towards him but he still didn't want to talk to me, it's gonna crush me more.. and of course, I don't wanna give him that "stalker" kind of vibe.. for now, the best option for us dumpees is to focus on ourselves and move forward even if it's hard.
@@axelbriggjern3534 yes, unfortunately. That's also a constant battle to me everyday that I do not break NC. We definitely need to stand our ground so as to let our self respect remain intact. The waiting game is the hardest part tho.. Ive been doing it along with his family members without him knowing because they also believe that the relationship is worth saving.. 😢
@@JannNavarro09 I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.
You are so right. The long distance breakup happened to me. I even suggested me moving back and She told me not to do it. She got me off guard. Break up came out of no where for me.
lordgawain, I definitely understand how you're feeling. The TRUTH comes out. You take good care of yourself, and I wish you the BEST. ❤
I swear this video was meant for me!! I was literally asking my man why he’s giving up on us so easily. We’re still together, but he has definitely emotionally disconnected from me. Trying to make things right. These videos are amazing!
He’s taking you for granted. You’re no longer a challenge in his mind. Go out with another guy. He just thinks he can find better than you. That’s how men typically act in relationships. They stop trying when they think they have you.
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too....
you have a nice smile :)
I don't care Happy New year coach Lee blessings to 🙏 you I'm not chasing no one even if it hurts life is to short 🥰🥰🥰
I don't think the point on these videos is actually getting your back because if we are realistic, getting back an ex is very unlikely. However, this content does help you to deal with it and to become the best possible version of yourself. Thank you so much for that.
I can relate to this video as when I first started fat my ex I wasn’t very into her as we were set up and I was just going through the motions and only after we had broke up did I start to see my error. My ex and I met up last November and the break up only became real in March and we went on a group NYE night out last year. I have been thinking of her lately as I saw her at my place of work this November and so all the little questions I had that I couldn’t explain came to the surface.
Thank you coach lee of all your help this year and wishing you and all a very happy new year 🥳
If ... fixing issues does not revive attraction, they were not vested like you were, & thought they were.
Find someone else worth your time or you are ignorantly going to go thru the same thing again & be more confused. Set some boundaries people. Love yourself like you want to be loved.
All roads lead to work on yourself during NC...HNY coach! Can't make 2020 w/o you!
Is the attraction means “fall out of love??
Yr videos make so much sense I learnt so much from you Thank u so much
He’s not lying, my decision to end my marriage was a 4 year process. She’d say she was caught off guard, but my attraction and reason for being with her were LONG GONE! I waited hoping things could change but realized she was never going to because she couldn’t see how controlling and domineering she was. I was so tired of arguing about everything!
Yet it's your job to communicate this to them. How is she supposed to know you are drifting apart emotionally if you don't talk about it? Of course she will be shocked
Pretty crazy how spot on a lot of the proposed excuses for the break up are with my situation. Gives me hope that things can still be fixed. Til then, 4 weeks of nc and counting, til either things are fixed or I just let go and move on
Guys it’s very difficult to move on from a breakup, but believe me it’s always good to move on and never go back to your ex nor let them come back as your gf/ wife/ bf/ husband etc. because, even if you both get back, one who breakup’s with you will expect you to change you into a better person but they will be the same person and not change into a better person. They will expect you to adjust with who they are, eventually one of you will breakup and the relationship will be over again.
Belated Merry Christmas and Happy Newyear coach Lee..wish you have a prosperous life and may Godblessed you Always and Have Faith in God...
Nothing is ever good enough for anybody, it's like they say no one cares.
If people can walk away and leave you LET THEM LEAVE GOOD RIDDENCE !! When they realize they made the worst decision of their life let them wallow in their bad choice never. Never take a spouse back
I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days
He was the one who also helped me too
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@@anasssani6392 no thanks taking poison again hoping it has a different effect is outright insane!
I love this video Coach Lee! Is there a video about working on increasing attraction? Right now I’m doing smart/limited contact because of previous commitments we have.
Susana, yes, strategic contact (video about it at th-cam.com/video/EcA47MmHP_I/w-d-xo.html) is powerful. I will be doing more videos on attraction in the near future and am writing a book on the subject as well.
Because about 80% took them for granted I would say xo
And sadly you realize that AFTER the break up 😭💔, and this is exactly what happened to me.
@@mikemcgeady6032 me too
Your videos are so down to earth and helpful and help me even though I feel like he is done ❤️ thanks for the comfort
I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days
He was the one who also helped me too
message him on whatspp for help
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I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.
Thank you Coach your advise as usual full of Wisdom always calls for more so I will be closely watching for future videos!
Have a wonderful 2021 and may Light and Love be always with you!👍👍👍👍
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Message him now on WhatsApp
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You know what? After 3 years of the absolute worst relationship of my life , I am alone now. My only regret was that I didn't walk away sooner. All of the wish-washy behavior from him that became apparent after he insisted we move in together should have been a HUGE red 🚩!
The 5 ( yes , 5! ) divorces he had been through by age 54 and the rhetoric of blaming everyone else for the mess in his life! How could I have been so blind? He had fought cancer and I felt bad for him and fell right into a codependent nightmare!
Now , a year later , I have healed and moved on. Trust me , don't ever beg someone to love you or be with you. There are WAY worse things than being alone!
Excellent video
Coach Lee please please post a video about what to do if we end up in a buyers remorse situation, like advice on what to do if we did the wrong thing and now our ex, isnt reaching out anymore
Don’t worry, no contact works! I would have done anything to get her back 2 months ago. Finally healed and moving on! Now that emotions are gone I can say she was not the right woman for me. Hang in there! Work on yourself!
I find comfort and not sure I want him back the way he dumped me after 10 years. Working out everyday, going to plays and concerts. Life is too short to be in a holding pattern. He would have to offer me consistency for me to consider being involved with him again.
Melodie Thompson. I can recommend Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup Kit for you. It will show you strategies for your situation.
myexbackcoach.com/ebk
I wish I have gone on TH-cam years ago and saw videos like this
Still painful beyond words, 9 months of professional counseling partially repairing the holes left in my heart. It is over with us, and I have accepted that he will never be back. Our relationship, almost 7 years gone in an instant. I guess my heart wasn't worth it anymore. I thought we had the best relationship, never really had any arguments. I think there was a third party involved, and he told me he deserved better than me. Thank you Lee. You may never realize it, but your videos likely saved my life. I do not know how to thank you for your support through the darkest period of my life. I have been in NC since then, but have unexpectantly seen him out twice and said hi and continued on my way. Once he was with a girl and she had her hands all over him. I will never be able to un-see that.
@@curtisdouglas8488 Thank you for your info and glad you two are back together.
@@misstali6303 hey I'm so sorry that you got hurt in such a bad way❤️😘
I know....there are some days after our breakup i just can't get out of bed feeling like i lost something so important after 4 years. I need to rethink everything now and plan something different all of a sudden.
@@barflin it's totally normal, you human so don't be hard on yourself and allow yourself time to grieve ❤️and know that you are not alone 😘
@@shann6987 thank you
Thank you Lee, been waiting for this. Happy New Year to you from Philippines 🇵🇭💙
When women nag and complain a lot means they need attention and want to work the relationship work out but when woman is distant and cold means they already gave up and not turning back.
Coming from a woman in NC after a breakup ... this is so true!
@@pinkstetoscope8027 if I don’t care about u , ur not worth me arguing or fighting for us
Fake news. Yall always come back because u get dumped by the new guy.
@@jahleelx9270 I’m not the one that was the dumper and tbh after a while u start to see the mind games being played and no one wants to go through that
@@jahleelx9270 also I can’t even bring myself to want to date anyone this soon ... not even thinking of that at all
I went through four months of no contact and later found my ex started dating during that time. He didn't even wait for the paint to dry on our breakup. I've improved and have accepted the breakup but not one time did he even try to reach out to me. Our relationship was really good...life happens, extenuating life events happen, he chose not to work through them and jumped into bed with someone else. No contact does work, I improved myself and now see him as he truly is. Thanks Coach Lee.
Hey coach Lee I really do appreciate your videos it is helping me a lot my longtime girlfriend 23 years moved away three years ago to Tennessee to make a better life for our two sons because where we live that was very high crime infested area. I told her that I would move there with her but kept prolonging it beating around the bush being making excuses, here three years later right before Christmas she drove up to where I live and basically said goodbye and broke up with me and I haven’t talk to her since then I’m now in there in NC phase trying to listen to everything that you tell me or I hear you talk about I’m hoping and praying that the NC Rule will help me bring her back to me I believe she’s in a rebound relationship just because I used to suffocate her and wanted to know her every move from long-distance so you’re absolutely right you have to let a person be free so with that I’m hoping that everything will work out keep up the good work thank you!
Magical I give it a shot. How did and what did he do for you that helped you?
Magical where you kind of in the same situation as I am?
@@marythequeen3530 So tell me Ms, queen how we’re dealing with the long distance relationship and what happen that you split and how you were feeling at that moment and how this man brought you back together. I need this encouragement if you want to text on private let me know I’ll give you my #
@@marythequeen3530 Geeluv09 What’s up contact
@@Geeluv9
I can recommend you to a man who can help you bring your ex back within few-days
He was the one who also helped me too
No I just got tired I'm waiting and waiting so I gave up on him like a lot of people will tell me and my mama would tell me there's a lot of fish in the sea and that's just the way I feel about it he used me he kept running around on me and I just can't take that no more and I don't want it to happen again I love myself and I deserve better
No he did not give up on me I gave up on him he's not worth it because I know if we did get back together it'll probably most likely truly happen again and I'm not going to go through that no more I'm too strong for that I'm a decent person Plus I love myself
I'm an emo too 😀
Whatever happened you don’t know for sure it’ll happen again, I’ve learned that.
He gets nothing but drama now from his ex - I gave him peace. And LOVE.
Coach Lee, I never hear you address emotional blocks or problems which your ex may have that interferes with their capacity to commit to a long-term relationship, or to handle intimacy. It always seems to be framed as if you (the one who was broken up with) have done something wrong. There are many situations where that is not true.
I can recommend you to (Mr Ose )who was able to help me bring my ex back, l believe he can help you too.
TRUE
I gave up bc I was done with lies abuse, and cheating. He refused to stop it. At one point I had to stop trying to fix the relationship. Bc it was clear to me I was the only one in love.
Its funny this is exactly what my ex said to me. She said I associate you with negativity and I need space. 5 months NC right now after a 6 year relationship :( Hopeful time will heal.
This is literally me!
153 days since my breakup and we were together for 6 years.
Found out during the breakup that she had someone lined up before letting me go.
Wow man. My 6 year relationship just ended too. I broke the no contact rule but that was before I ever seen coach lee's videos. We've been speaking here and there but she's been giving so many mixed signals. One minute she says we're over, next minute she says she wants to marry me one day but she's not happy with herself and needs to work on herself. We just had a decent convo on the phone on Wednesday then out of nowhere she sends me a link to a song basically saying she has to go her own way and that we may be able to connect sometime down the road.
@@shkrsimpson44 lmao bro did we get dumped by the same girl? My ex told me this isnt a break up (it was) and that if its meant to be it will work itself out. Tbh, when they are so indecisive and not committed to ending it I just assume that they need some time/space alone. Idk about your situation but we began dating at 16, so I think she’s just trying to test the waters before she settles down.
@@leftwinglimbaugh9224 yea I think it's the same for me bro. She's about to hit 30 and wants to be married with kids. I told her I ABSOLUTELY want that with her as that was always my intentions. But I'm not sure if she sees it with me or what. She's also not happy with her career or financial situation. So I think it's like you said, she just NEEDS time alone. I'm just going to give her that.
@@shkrsimpson44 yep sounds very similar. Well good luck to you, and I hope it all works out for you 👍
I love this ..it’s so true 🦢
Happy new year coach lee..thanks for ur lovely vedios..although my x and I not get back together yet..but he is reaching me out first and now we talk na every day but I still not assume of him other wise im hurting again hehe.
Everyday watching ur vedios
Happy New Year from Africa Coach Lee.
Thank you for keeping us sane this season. May God bless you abundantly. ❤
Happy new year Jaber... she is from my country +254
That's right Nesta. ☺ & not just Country but seems region as well haha
Ohh Happy New year too from Kisumu @Nesta...
thanks juliet....😉. from Nairobi here
@Earnest Nesta...😁 that's great.
New topic idea Coach Lee: No contact in mutual breakups; Stages of a breakup in mutual breakups
Hahaha
I agree!
@@RealCoachLee Thanks Coach Lee, genuinely curious about the dynamic between two people who both say that they "want" the breakup but still have feelings. Looking forward to it! Keep up the great work
This is exactly what happened to me. I moved 80 miles to live closer to him. He did tell me not to that I shouldn't leave my comfort zone and he didn't want me to regret the move. I'm sure he was infatuated that I did do it. But he had already made up his mind and I didn't know it. He just didn't want to lose our chat friendship so he didn't tell me. So after about two months he just couldn't do the seeing me anymore because he was about to get caught by his other casual relationship to find out. I never knew it. He never spent enough time with me to built up enough attraction with me. He decided between her and me. He had a longer history with her. She is an old girlfriend. So the wait could be a while for me if I choose to wait with no contact. I know me if I do start dating someone else I'm usually in it for the long haul. Which is a big disappointment if he comes back.
Thanks Coach Lee, NC works. I really can't thank you enough. My ex is trying to make a move again. He's constantly contacting me and on the Christmas of 2020, I found his missed WhatsApp video calls, and tried to call back asking what a neck he wanted from me, but he disguised and directed the conversation to corona virus issue in his country. But I am sure he wanted to say something else regarding us. Since then, he's been sending me his pictures, texting me with hello messages, asking how I am doing and if everything is okay with me. A happy and blessed New Year to You
Thank you for understanding 😢
happy new year coach
happy new year bro