Husband Left His Job, Take On Huge Debt To Make Me Pay From My New Acquired Inheritance But OH NO
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 5 ส.ค. 2024
- #AITA #AITAUpdate #Stories
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Story Summary :-
OP has always known that her husband, Benjamin, wasn’t the type to spend unnecessarily. Even when they were dating, he would always tell her to spend practically, only giving her money whenever she really needed it. Back then, she admired his miserly side because it always worked out for him, and she believed he would be able to make smart decisions when it came to finances. Her marriage of convenience came soon after, and that was when she realized that she had made a mistake getting married to Benjamin.
OP’s father passes away and leaves her a huge sum of money because he knows what she’s going through. To OP’s surprise, Benjamin starts acting out of character, only for OP to realize that he is only doing so to get his hands on the money left for her to pay for a loan. After giving Benjamin multiple chances, OP decides to leave her husband and doesn’t care what happens to him regarding the money he owes.
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Story )pinion :- 25:33
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Op did it to her self I understand not wanting to give up on marriage but soon as he asked for a divorce Over money she should've walked away
I am SICK of this lady! You’re staying there, letting him treat you like this, then have the nerve to complain!!!! If you’re gonna make excuses, just deal and leave everyone else out of it!!!
Should have left him along time ago
Your mom says that he's a gold digger and you don't believe it until you see it yourself, how sad
First of all inherited money is not community property. If Op's late father wanted Benjamin to have half of Op's inheritance he would have split the money 3 ways but he did split it 2 ways and thats legal. As for that lian Benjamin took out, it's his responsibility to pay off the loan not Op's. Op needs to file for a divorce and use her inheritance to reopen her and Julie's business.
I was waiting to find out he was behind the boutique burning. It just happened at such an interesting time when he just talked about her business. He is one who considers a marriage to be a business transaction. He will never be happy
So no insurance on the business?? OMG. THIS STORY IS SO INFURIATING
Agree! All these purred stupid and irresponsible
They are all doormat stories nowadays. What sane woman would stay with this guy? It's sick that stupid people just get money like that...
I can't even finish this story. Op is just so helpless and blind
OP. WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND ABOUT YOUR SHARE. YOU VOLUNTEERED UNNESSARY INFO. HE ONLY ASKED ABOUT YOUR MOM.
Why didn't OP and her business partner get insurance on their business? What a headache.
Correct. Who starts a business without insurance? Op was given many red flags about her husband, but disregarded them because she couldn't face being wrong about her husband and her mother being right.
Oh no. She's even more dense than I first thought 😢
Op, divorce this gold digger entitled husband. He’s a narcissist. Run as fast as you can! Don’t give him another dime!
To be fair she didn’t think she should have to contribute any money at all even when she started working by owning a business. She still felt, despite having a ton of money that he had to continue to pay for everything including groceries. To her, his money was hers too, her money was just hers. When both people work that is not how it works. I would be interested to hear the other side.
She knew how old Ben was, everyone told her and warned her but she refused listen. She played herself!
So it is about age again?
There are so many red flags in this story - so many things that are just…. Off.
This op is what is known in the realm of reality as a "soft target"
The inheritance isn't usually community property in divorces but it can in many places be included as an asset regarding alimony payments. That said, I didn't feel sorry for her when she admitted that he paid for everything for their entire relationship. He was trash but he did have a valid point in that regard.
I bet he was cheating. Good job with kicking Benjamin to the curb op.
Never ever do you give them a DIME. Someone this narcissistic gives off red flags long before this kind of situation. What a loser Ops ex is. No Benjamin she doesn’t need to give u an Effen dime. Leave him and never look back
My mom basically went through the same thing. My father got a hefty paycheck in the 70s and early 80s, but they were always struggling. It was found out later that he was paying for bills that his so called ex wife racked up in the few months that they were married. We didn't live in the best house in town, it was closer to worst. We were also cramped in. When he left his job, after a disagreement with his manager, he refused to go back when the company owner called and wanted to give him the supervisor position, he said that he was bored with the job. Mom was tired of not having money, got a job, she eventually started paying all the bills and cut off his bills (auto insurance). They were prepared for divorce, my grandmother told my mom to hang in there a few months more. He actually died from complications with cancerous tumors.
Man, the more I watch these videos and hear stories like this, the less sure I feel about EVER getting married!
Marriage is not like this. Don't sell your life short over a few marriage horror stories from Reddit. These are EXTREME cases.
Op you should have seen the red flags 😂😂
A good mom's 6° sense always work.
OPs husband was a controlling, and financially abusive ass. Maybe had he been honest with OP about losing his job, they could have worked something out. I am a SAHM, and when my twins were about a year old, the company my husband worked for was bought out, and sadly he was a part of the 2nd round of layoffs. He came home immediately and told me. What did I do? I immediately went out and found a job to help support my family until he found a new (and much better) position in a new company. But, had he lied to me about working, and took out loans without telling me, I would have been furious, and things would have played out very differently than they did with us. What I really wonder is what in the hell was OPs husband doing with his time after he lost his job. Obviously he was pretending to still go to work. Hmm...
OP was REALLY, REALLY SlOW to pick up on the fact that she married a MALICIOUS SCUMBAG. I would never, under ANY circumstances, treat my wife that way. NEVER. Maybe thats why we're a couple weeks from our 31st wedding anniversary.
OMG....financial abuse! Run! This man is going to keep abusing OP until she gets out of that marriage.
So, OP apparently had no discussion with her husband about who pays for what when they got married. And her business partner can't pay for things after a fire? Did she not have insurance? I've got doubts on this one kids.
Condolences to the Op. It is her money. Op should have left that gold digger long time ago indeed.
‘And I went to my parents and complained’ WTF?! Did they push you to marry him?
Go get a job or divorce, you’re a grown up. Dude doesn’t appreciate what OP does in the house, stop doing it and go to work
Depending on the state you live in, you may or may not have to share. Here in CA the judge can decide what to do.
Geez… The husband iOS hungry for money.
Love was blind for OP. It appears her husband had ulterior motives from the beginning.
OP should have left him along time ago he is an absolute jerk
Ops so naive I think she’s living in a hallmark channel delusion
In a marriage were both parties work, there should be 3 bank accounts. Yours, mine, and the house. Both people in tha marriage should both keep their own separate accounts they had before they got married, that includes any inheritance either party might get,and not share any information about their own accounts and share in house expenses. That way if the couple breaks up, no one could clear out accounts and be left penniless.
That only works if you don’t live paycheck to paycheck. However, if you don’t I agree. They both started working and she was even making more than him. Everyone was on her side but I have an issue with that because she still expected him to pay for everything despite her having more money due to the profits from the business. I know inheritances are not marital property but a business you inherit and start making money from and have to work a bit is a grey area. When you are making money hand over fist don’t ask your spouse for money for the groceries (like she did) when he is paying all the bills and you are netting more. To me that’s insane. However, they clearly were not very close. The fact she thought she didn’t need to contribute unless he asked and the fact he was angry she didn’t despite her having so much more money speaks volumes about their relationship.
For inheritance, depends on where the couple is married if the husband or wife would get any of the inheritance in the case of a divorce. Most of the time, its considered separate assets and they have no claim on it.
Funny Ben might have found out from Julie.
Maybe Julie is bens baby momma
Benjamin 100 % cheated on OP during their long distance relationship.
Benjamin only cares about himself.
Right at the start, the way she chooses to express herself rubs me the wrong way.
"It was frustrating talking to someone who only seemed to want to have fun in his life."
A) Why is wanting fun frustrating? Wanting fun isn't a bad thing.
B) I get that she is frustrated over Charles wasting money on alcohol, I just wish she could have phrased it as such instead of "It was frustrating talking to someone who only seemed to want to have fun in his life."
Money Always Changes Things. Most of the time for the Worse 😊
One woman should not be that stupid. Sorry OP just vexed me a great deal.
These people seem gullible as it take too long to catch a clue.
Benjamin is financially and emotionally abusive and controlling. You are an adult. There is no he won't allow me. He doesn't have that authority. I also bet he is the reason she got no call backs.
Why is paying back her husbands loan op's responsibility?
This dude's voice is elixir.
Op a Stubborn doormat.
Love is blind
First,
Never leave your job. Even if you had to leave your former job look for a new one immediately.
Second,
Never share your inheritance or property details to your spouse and children. Unless you both contributed to it.
Third,
It's okay to help your spouse/ children if they really need it or use it to the good expense. But if they started to demand or act entitled then they don't deserve your money.
Fourth,
If you feel they are using you or guilt tripping you by any ways. Just leave immediately and cut of contact until you can think of solutions.
Honestly, husbands asking wives is kinda stupid unless it's absolutely necessary. Though wives wanting to be a stay at home wife is a red flag😂
Idk we only have op side of the story and why is it always "My money is my money but his money is our money!?"
So yeah can't blame him for trying to get her to pay 50% of everything since she had the means to and it's not the 1950's men don't have to pay for everything if the spouse can contribute. Millennial here btw
OP is NTA. However, due to her low self-esteem, OP made stupid decisions regarding her husband and marriage. The first thing she said about her husband was that he was calculating. She figured that out but still chose to date and marry him.
OP should have left her husband a long time ago..i too was married to a man who was 9 yrs older than me. Wehad two children, aged 13 & 16 yrs old..We were married for 17 years when one day after we had a disagreement he threatened to beat me infront of the kids & my Mother..i filed for divorce after two days!
I added him to the BLOCK PARTY & never looked back.That was 33 yrs ago!
16:48, Of course he didnt want a Divorce, He was just trying to Treaten you so you would Agree to be his ATM until you were pennyless.
20:23, "Forget about how you Generate the money and just Do as your told.", When you filter out the BS this is exactly what husband said.
21:30, Of course he threatened you with Divorce again. We saw how well it worked for him last time. You almost Divorced him then Sucumbed to his BS to take him back.
23:18, Because that would mean he would need to admit to wanting you to be his ATM, and that he QUIT his job.
End, Truthfully if she really wanted to know what was up with Him, I would have highered a Private Investigator to look into him. Bet she would have found Where and on whom he was spending her money since it was obviously not on her, their house, NOR his Debts.
Op is a door mat
Thanks
Insurance? A business.always have to be insured for public liability & fire. I'm sure she had it & that's how it got back on its feet so quick, as for her husband, did he work? Or was he still getting an allowance that kept afloat. Divorce was the best outcome on both sides. mx
Does she ever stop being a doormat? I’m getting annoyed.
Op is a idiot for staying so long and she shouldn’t have never quit her job in the first place people need to stop quitting their jobs just cause a partner makes more cause anything can happen and that person gets to comfortable
👋🏼👍🏼
Op was pissing me off, the dating stage was a red flag, the first disagreement was a red flag, she still didn’t leave home.
OP..Your husband was a controlling ass. You should have left him when he first said no to the dress. Tell Benjamin to KYA!!
Wait ,,so they= BOTH have jobs amd he pays for everything but now SHE has some money and he asks her to pay for the bills HE's a golddigger?
So his money is her money is ok but her money is his money isn't?
Right!
Yup, people here are dumb. Feminist I assume
Both op and her partner are bad people and don't deserve happiness.
OP at fault 💯. You knew and you continued. Even after mom said it's over.
At the end the guy is in the wrong but at the start of the relationship, I feel that OP is in the wrong.
People thinks he is after the money but he was only after the money after the dad pass away and he lost his job.
So at the start of the marriage he was still doing fine until he feels that he can't provide enough and started to be calculative.
Both sides are in the wrong but how he handles at the end is how I end up with both sides are in the wrong and it's good for both to divorce, he turns into someone he shouldn't be and she got hurt badly due to his transformation.
OP shouldn't trouble her silly little head with money.
Nta. Benjamin is ignorant and entitled. Inheritance is that of the person who it was given too. Benjamin's actions started your first argument
Is anyone else super annoyed by this woman? Yes her husband is horrible but she’s almost as bad
Comment down below.
Nothing is more than detestable than a mingy man... But I must say, if I can understand the concept of a "stay at home mother", I really don't get the "Stay at home wife" thing
The main problem I see is her mother
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Everyone is treating the husba😅md like a goddamn super villian and i will say he did some absolutely trash things, but op is just as trash, he didnt make her quit her job, he LET her and still took care of all the bills. And when her dad was sick, ahe was putting all that oncome towards her dad and keeping it away from her husnand , and when he lost his job, he still didnt tell his wife or try to make her get a job because he was atill trying to not let her worry and to take care of the bills, he nade some questionable financial decisions but everything he was trying to do was for the family, she however is just selfish. Even the money he wanted was money he was trying to pay back for the house he got for them, she trash af
All marital income and assets are community property so her husband was right. Only the woman thinks her money is hers and not his. He was manipulative, which is why he withheld his income.
Exactly many people here are still thinking she's the woman and the man has to pay for everything. His money is our money but her money is her money.
This must be fake its a buisness with employees. You need liability insurabce. Buisness insurance etc. He may be toxic but shes a bit odd.
These stories just can't be true. Some of them just too idiotic to be true.
Seemingly, she didn't have a problem living off of her husband's money all this time, shelter, food, utilities...and now she has a little, it's all hers...simple hypergamy...
Do you really think she had no problem when she had to get money from her parents for anything she needed for herself?
@@therealmaizing5328 nope. If she wanted shit, she should have gone back to work. Period, but no...in typical modern woman fashion, she took money from her parents when she couldn't get it from her husband...she never said anything about money from her parents when she was giving money to her friend. Think maybe that's why her husband quit giving her money? They had no children, there was no reason she couldn't work, but in typical fashion, she sat at home asking her husband for money.
@@stephenstevens6573 But, she *specifically* said that the money she gave her friend for the business was from the money she got from her parents. The only money she got from her husband was household money: i.e. for food & utilities.
She *tried* to find a new job after she realized her husband wasn't going to provide her with anything but the bare minimum necessary for survival, but was unable to find anything suitable.
As a stay at home housewife, she kept the house, cooked the meals, etc. I'd say that more than made up for receiving what little her husband provided her with when you consider what he'd have to pay someone to do all those things for him if he hired a maid.
At one point, she even acknowledged that she'd become as selfish as her husband.
I'm willing to bet that if *he* hadn't been so stingy, she would have been more willing to share her inheritance with him, but then again, he demanded it all.
OP NTA, OP was asked to not work but did 100% of household work. When she stopped doing stuff for him I.e. ironing his shirts he needed to pay for it. He wanted her 100% at his beck and call but did not give money for a dress. when he thought she had money he was lying about his needs. No marriage should be like this. In our house all money is in our bank account and we both take what we need without running it dry. Our phones are always in front of each other, nothing is hidden unless it’s on the run up to birthdays and Christmas. That’s how it should be.
@@angelamurray2725 funny thing...the commenters on mine just happen to be women...you're all the same. That's why men are no longer interested in marriage anymore
Wait. So everything he does he has to do and everything she does is his fault too? He is supposed to pay for all bills and she doesn’t have to do anything? I’m confused if I missed something here.
I wouldn’t want a wife like her. “Pay all the bills and I’ll clean the house. You then can buy whatever you want and I’ll buy what I want.” He says the same basically. They both are crummy people. She isn’t excluded.
I see two people who have been selfish. Her husband paid for everything. She assumed she was entitled. And of course Reddit is going to be on her side. They hate guys on that app
OP was the cause of her situation!!! I hope she wakes up b4 she's broke and divorced.