Drug Dealer Simulator but I am a horrible dealer
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 13 ก.พ. 2020
- Look how bad I am at video games
/
Twitter: / callmekevin1811
Instagram: / callmekevin1811
Edited by @Kippesoep001, @TropicalFreeze2 and Kevin
Patreon Producers ♥
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Jesus, that gang member at the beginning scared me, so glad Kevin is back
Hey Finn O
But he is kevin
imissedthejoke yes nice name
He’s part of the Kall me Kevin Klan and it’s spelt with K’s because it’s cooler
@the Emperor of man read the name
Drug dealer Kevin better hope he doesn’t run into James Bond Kevin pulling those stunts
Loved how Pablo kept him busy buying individually instead of in bulk lol.
the kcu (kevin cinematic universe) is a wild & vast place.
Ailuropoda melanoleuca Nineoneone can’t wait for all of them to meet up and duke it out with the ultimate villain, past kevin, in the upcoming major blockbuster movie ‘infinite warfare.’
@@TheCommanderTaco Pablo doesn't even use the drugs, he just likes to support local business
That wouldve been a shame
Kevin: This is the longest intro ever
Also Kevin: *Did a whole entire James Bond themed intro, song and all, just yesterday*
Good times
Hey, I remember that.
@@virus_v73 well, it was literally yesterday's video
That's why he's a funny guy
@jiten he knows, hes was just being funny my dude :D
"This feels really uncomfortable,and my glasses are fogging up" little did he know a couple months later that would be a big problem
You beat me to it. By 4 months but still
What
It's so true
Right
I have to wear glasses AND masks. Why do I have to choose which sense will be impaired?
Either i can't see or ill catch a disease that'll kill my breathing.
@Sabrina O'Neil no, in the begging he was wearing sunglasses.
I can't believe Kevin would deal vitamin C. Was the money worth it Kevin? Was it worth it?
Of course it feckin was!
@@polskipolak1129 moment of silence for the fallen warrior
@@polskipolak1129 look at the bright side: you've been successful without a lover this far, so you can definitely stay successful now
@@polskipolak1129 I'm also thick, but that just means there's more of you to like. Plus, Bros before Hos.
@@polskipolak1129 I don't know how tall and thick that is (don't take it out of context) but I'm 6'0 tall, and last time I checked, 220 pounds. I can probably relate.
Valentine's Day
Kevin: We'll go drug dealing tonight!
*Perfect*
*first date my ninja sex party is heard in the background*
They do say love is a drug. 👌
The doorway to my imaginary girlfriend.
He is just preparing us for the day by selling roofies. 😂
Kevin recognizing women don't have enough pockets is his Valentine's Day message to us, and frankly I think it's just swell.
AKCagg I don’t get why women are always complaining about having no pockets. I mean, just level up and upgrade your pockets skill. It’s not that hard!
Women are born with a -2 pocket skill. Boy have a plus 2 in the pocket skill. It's hard for women to invest in that skill when they have the extra purse and makeup skills to level on
oh please, if i can put a coin purse up my asshole for easy storage, you have one extra pocket there
@@harrystanden8585 and where are you gonna put the coin purse in ya pockets.
@@anthonydemonssillerrunb4me118 you are thinking about kangaroos pockets are in clothes.
When you unzipped the jacket i was like “damn Kevin has a hairy chest” then I just died when I saw Hagrid
Me: This should be good, Kevin dealing drugs
*sees Kevin in bandana*
Me: Yup, this gonna be good.
Know what would make it better?
*Bore Ragnorok*
Yep i thougt the same
@The REAL person! Ha you said the thing
@@jackbudi that reminds me of family guy, with Peter saying "ah ah, he said it, he said the thing!"
@The REAL person! I didn’t know where that was from. Cool.
"I've always felt bad for women in that regard, their clothes don't seem to have pockets"
I'VE NEVER FELT SO SEEN
Charlie same wow
Hoodie gang rise up
Women's pockets: 🧷
Women's handbags: 🕳️
lol so true thanks kev 🥰👍
I've always felt sorry for my sisters' lack of usable pockets 😔
As someone who used to be in the business, this is literally exactly how it goes. Constant calls, making people wait, and yelling "I don't have time"
Yeah right its quick and good cash but you just live into constant stress. Imo its not worth it guys. And youre surrounded by fake friends
would like but it's the funny number
@@mlgjan5046 you probably shouldn't be bringing your friends into it though. like, your real friends shouldn't know that you're a drug dealer
@@cvspvr then hows theyre ur real friends? They all notice theyre ur homies.
"I'm getting used to all the lingo now..."
**10 seconds before**
"I don't sell speed!"
Came here to look for this comment but it turns out we're the only 2 who know what speed is lmao
Lol, I was looking for this
I knew speed was a drug I just didn't know it was Amphetamine.
I came looking for this too lmao
I was like nah I bet Kevin is just acting, he totally does drugs. And then he said this and I was like O.
I don't think there's a lot of overlap between hardcore underground raveheads and CallMeKevin viewers lol
"I'm your neighborhood drug dealer"
To be honest Kevin, I'm not surprised at this point.
Idk why, but I'm reminded of Spiderman from that comment. (Btw, axxl is a stalker. Make sure to report it)
@AxxL You’re thinking a bit small to say _just_ your neighborhood
I’d say everyone
I'm pretty sure his neighbours think so too
Or maybe he's a certified.... *baby kicker* in their street...
Also Kevin: hey police here is my certified supplier Eddie.
cannibal_cat do you eat other cats or people?
Kids, this is what happens when you don't use the straps on the wiimote. Crime isn't cool. Stay safe.
This game has so many spelling errors the devs must've been working with the real stuff
I thnk they're Polish, which is basically the same, in my experience.
iTs FoR rEsEarcH 💨
gotta make sure to get that sweet quality assurance perfected
@@IncredibleMD most of the makers of these games are eastern european but I'm kinda shocked this isn't made by russians since they are usually the ones to make this lel
I can't believe Kevin would become a vitamin C dealer. I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING YOU
It’s quite profitable, and (relatively) safer that standard drugs, also you can sell normal fruit for extra profit and a cover when you are like me (altough some people alao go the “chemical” way, wich makes them basically as bad as your usual rando baking powder dealer)
@@demon_xd_ psst. Got apples?
Anna Firth
Green or Red mate?
Any drug dealer: starts dealing drugs
*Pablo Bong wants to know your location*
I was gonna talk about how this was overused and bla bla bla but honestly this meme has been dead for long enough that it's not overused anymore so you get pass... for now.
@@kakahass8845 this was a month ago and what are you talking about?
@@skipskip7737 I saying that (even a month ago) this meme was already dead and it wasn't overused anymore so yeah you get a pass.
Pablo Bong gon get that Codeine lmao
Bro 5g of amphetamine is SO MUCH lmao
Am I the only one who thought Kevin would actually make a good dealer? Always giving you the best deals because he can't do the math
Daniel Moses he can't do the math but he can do the meth.
Ailuropoda melanoleuca Nineoneone That’s what the Patreon money is for
nah thats horrible he would be coked up someday and kill you because he think you stole from him because he couldnt do the math properly
@@vitors9198 Yeah, but then it would just be past Kevin's fault
I mean he does deal some pretty good content... I can't stop coming back for my fix every, single, day
The “Yes we smoke” sign just looks like a young Jim Pickens advertising the fact he sets fire to his family members for fun
Me: You got the coke?
Kevin: Is pepsi okay?
Me: WOT
Kevin: *Uploads*
Me: Ah yes, destruction.
Yep
I found your comment in the family simulator on Google play lol. I was the first person to say the review was helpful. I think *"I ran into traffic, it was fun"* is the most helpful thing I've read Kevin
Kevin: has a green screen he doesn't use
Kevin when he wears a green shirt: ps2 hagrid
PS1
3:41 "It's not what you think. I'm dealing, not using it." LMAO!
"This guy is still waiting for his drugs, it's been like a day" yeah that's like the standard drug dealer, you're all good.
On God. Mfs will hit you back a week later like "yOu StIlL nEeD eT"
Nic Armendariz on god🤣
Wait a minute how do yo-
steveismycat ketamine, my guy
@@juniorshahzad No, not ketamine, wtf? I had a problem with pills before I got help. I am an addict in recovery. Been sober since 6.6.16
*Hey there friends, how's it going my name's El Chapo.*
@@DONTDISLIKEMYVIDEOS no, people actually like Jesus, not you
You're lying, your name is Namari... stupid!
Namari hello Fettered! My name is Stempy! Nice to 🍖 u
@@IamaPERSON cry a river it's the internet
@@AA-vp1ru ok, and he self promotes.
Dont think Kevo could sound intimidating if he tried 😂 he has such a sedate, friendly voice 😂
You being like 5 hours late for everything is the most accurate part of this drug dealer simulator
happy valentines day you guys. i can’t believe i’m spending it with my local irish drug dealer! 🥰😍
omg yass queeen😍😍😍
We're the luckiest cult in the world 😍
TF is going on here
At 3:06 I thought for a second that he was on discord asking his friends irl if they wanted drugs smh.
It does look like a bootleg discord
Normal people on Valentine's Day: ah it's a day for love
Kevin: hello wish to purchase the extra V I T A M I N C
"I think this guy has nothing to do with his life so he just makes up minature goals for himself."
Me: *hides the app I have that turns your to-do list into tasks that up your stats**
What a p p
What app?
@@fewwonderings3832 it's called "Do It Now" and the icon is a shield with a to-do list on it. I know it's on Android but not sure about IOS
@@rockercaterrorencountered4924 ty ma fam
RockerCatErrorEncountered 404 I’m downloading this shit.
Kevin’s intros have so much personality
And Kevin may have multiple
I'm just waiting till you get top comment.
Jim is his alter ego
I mean his master
More like Bore Ragnarok, amirite guys?
@@martabartoszewska104 yep!
how funny a multiple personality disorder joke
"Women's clothes dont seem to have pockets."
It's to make us buy handbags 👍
Pockets were removed by the handbag companies to sell more handbags!!
@@vaskaportal7203 yes
bro my phone cant even fit in my pockets like it only goes halfway in and it just falls out like wtf bro not very cash money if u ask me
Women: *wants actual pockets*
Handbag companies:
“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t see that”
RIP all the bags and pack backs my spacey ass lost
"I don't sell speed"
*JUST sold like 15 gs of amphetamine*
Hate to tell ya homie...
@Lemon Grab if you can’t sell speed how did I buy it?
@Lemon Grab speed has been illegal for a very long time. Isn’t that what drug dealers are for?
@Lemon Grab speed is amphetamine as OP said
@Lemon Grab oooohhhhhh you think methamphetamine and amphetamine is the same drug. Now that makes sense
“I have a feeling the audio isn’t going to be great, so we’re going to take off the hat otherwise you won’t be able to hear me”
Some sound logic there, Kebin
"That's what pissed them off? Some tires on fire? Not the abundance of drugs everywhere?"
Yep, sounds like the coppers.
Last intro Kevin was in a suit
Now he's dressed like a drug dealer
What crazy shenanigans are we in for tomorrow?
This character arc is all over the place
Thats how mafia works
No clothes
I cant wait
@@cezarsoba he did say he put on pants for nothing, which implies in all his videos we dont see a full body he is not wearing pants lol.
Kevin: I love being a drug dealer!
Also kevin: he's a potty mouth, I don't like this
When he was wearing the mask and glasses for the intro he was able to spread awareness of what people who wear glasses have to deal with in a pandemic.
KEVIN IS A HERO!!!
Because I'm Irish when I hear your voice it always reminds me of a family reunion when someone is telling me a story
about dealing drugs
When you realize that Kevin is basically a drug dealer for us, but instead of getting addicted to drugs we get addicted to his videos and his maniacal personality
Damn, Kevin was a head of his time. By at least a week. Or a month.
8:49 when the plug said 5 minutes 2 hours ago lmao
0:20 I can imagine someone dealing in oranges in a dark back alley
Orange is the new black tar heroin?
well it looks less suspicious than a guy in a hoody
Kevin: "this is uncomfortable"
Looks at Kwite and Memeulous
I was literally just thinking that
ah, I see you are a man of culture too-
Every single other TH-camr today: Valentine's day themed content!
Kevin: Drug Dealer Simulator
As a former dealer myself I can confirm that ur phone will constantly ring and the same person will call 100 times
TH-cam sees the word drug dealer:
TH-cam: “ *ITS STROKE TIME* “
Weed.
Now this comment has a comment
@@milkman4640 now this comment has a comment
@@metalkreeper1449 now this comment that gave that comment a comment who gave the original comment a comment has a comment
@@blumpet6250 bore ragnorock
0:21 Holy heck my man's dealing an acid, ascorbic acid even
Lmao I lost it
those good little vitamin paper squares, who doesn't know them?
8:04 ohhh that laugh
That's so cool that he got memeulous to collab with him.
Kevin: Hey guys my mom left the cap off my flint stone gummy
Everyone else in the church: FRICK YES DUDE
That's inappropriate language for a good Christian.
Ok, but Kevin looks legit like a drug dealer in a "documentary" in the beginning.
Why did you put documentary in quotes lmao
The reason I put documentary in quotes was because I was thinking about a renactment they'll have once in a while in those documentaries.
4:35 That's probably the closest we will ever get to another baking bad episode.
4:49 r2d2 is a druggy!! Oh No!!
Published 30 seconds ago? God I have no life.
Same
Who needs a life when you have the cult?
All hail Lord Pickens!
Kevin is life
@@ivanamarkotic5398 Kevin is a cult
"Published 25 seconds ago"
> 37 comments
Y'all are committed. Maybe Kevin is actually the one in danger 🤔
Or maybe Kevin is the drug.
Kevin is my drug
Drug is my Kevin
100th like boi
He uploads at the same time every day. It's hard to be late when you know that.
That was less of an intro and more "Kevin mumbles to himself for one and a half minutes". And I like it.
1:30 same Kevin. Same.
Wow, this Breaking Bad sequel is actually pretty good!
Even better than El Camino
@@tonichan89 Kevin is Jesse's Irish cousin.
If I had an imaginary friend Id like to think he would be like Kevin.
Was that a pun?
You poor soul.
My internal voice is kevins whenever I'm about to do something stupid
When he took off the leather jacket all my brain thought was "OH GOD HAGRID CHEST TATTOO"
This is the most truthfull representation of drug dealers i´ve ever seen. Doesn´t answer phone, consistantly late, Thinks everyone is a cop, sells large amounts of drugs but still broke. Yup. I give this 10/10.
Kevin, where's my speed? It's been three weeks now, you said you'd be over in an hour.
We all seem to be addicted to your cult so you must be doing something right.
Longest intro ever and haven't even touched th
But Kevin, I could watch a video of you just rambling and love every moment of it
Kevin: "They all want speed now I don't sell speed"
Amp=Speed
;-;
Day 9 of telling Kevin that he's so cool and handsome with a bad boy feel to him
Just like Jim Pickens actually
@@martabartoszewska104 youre so right
Wait, no! It's not about Kevin nor Jim. This sentence is about... PS1 HAGRID!
@@martabartoszewska104 oh feck youre right now what I've spent 9 days of my life complimenting the wrong guy :(
@@elsalene1044 Don't worry, I'm sure he'll forgive you. Maybe
I guess Jim Pickens has more of a drug dealer personality
Mr Crazycreeper FirstName is the drug prodigy, really.
Little did you know this would be your quarantine look too.
12:27 "The drugs are finally off the street"
*Happy Giorno Noises*
Kevin: Uploads drug dealer simulator
Me: Ah yes, the wholesome Valentines content I expected from Kevin
"I love happy endings"
Eagerly awaiting the massage parlour simulator
6:25 NO Kevin that guy isn't a cop he's clearly an attorney at law! Just because he's not wearing his headphones you can't tell the difference?
I’m almost positive that Vsauce Micheal is painted on the building at 3:59.
Kevin:*in leather jacket*
Me:ah here i go questioning my sexuality again...
4:22 Uncensored feet on TH-cam! Best channel.
Little did Kevin know. The way he looked in the intro is how we look everyday now.. kevin what do you know?!
i usually don’t like youtube intros to games because it goes on too long but i love kevin’s intros, always very random.
thanks for keeping me company everyday kevin
you are light
Litterly
Fitting you use the heart emoticon on Valentine's Day.
@@IamaPERSON true lololol this is so sad
@@gorekins7718 why is it sad?
Finally I can support my favorite TH-camr & be high af. Thank you Kevin!
1:46 When your drug dealer calls you out for being a "potty mouth." Sorry.
he is dressed like memeulous, Kevin is memeulous, we know what he looks like now
Day 297 of wishing Kevin a happy birthday everyday.
Happy birthday, Kevin.
and who are you pathetic little twinkly twat to wish him a happy birthday? know your place, jeeeez, people nowadays
first name would always and forever bee the best drog duleur in history
6:33 what in the actual HECK was that.
This is the first video of yours I've watched in about two months. My schedule is just so packed, I barely have time for much outside of work. I really missed the laughter your content gives me, Kevin. Thank you :)
Wow, never thought we'd get a Memelous face reveal!
died.
dead.
4:43 I lol'd so hard at "Having pockets is a skill?"
Kevin being a drug dealer: I feel like I fit in for the first time in my life
His FBI agent: ima have to do a stop you right there.
From the intro alone this is my favourite video of all time
The start of this video is actually just a memeulous face reveal
2:00 I love the fact that I haven't played any Tony Hawk game in at least 12 years and still immediately tought the same thing.
Drug Dealer > to > “Now I just look like I’m ready for a nice meal”. Man, you crack me up
best vday gift. happy vday kevin!! ♥️
Happy Valentine’s Day Kevin, we love you! (No homo)
Valentine's Day, but I'm alone.
Bad joke, I know.
pro homo, bro
I can already see that this is being demonetized
Yeah,TH-cam these days demonitize kids content too.
0:32 foreshadowing... he knew about the masks!!1!11!!!
Kevin's innocence act is making me feel bad for watching this stoned