I hate when people say choose better when it pertains to women but when it’s men they show men grace for choosing the wrong one please like people lie and manipulate
There is also something called covert narcissism you won’t see the traits until you are in deep women deserve more grace and men should do better because there’s literally a scarcity of the said better men Mtcheww
Yeah the love bombing can be blinding until the mask falls off as for those women who enjoy shaming other women because of their circumstances karma is a bitch.
I’m Sorry to hear that! Please learn from this and move accordingly! If you can reach back out to your community or find a new community of support! 💕💕
To be fair women are taught by patriarchy that having a man is a woman's end goal. Many friends have stopped being my friend when they got into a new relationship. Women are not taught that most mhen can easily betray you and lie to you and commit criminal actions against you. Because of this many women go blindly in to relationships and end up being hurt.
Whenever I say this people call me crazy. I’ll rather be lonely abs miserable than put my child through crap in the name of a relationship or marriage.
Stop sleeping with men! Especially if you're barely getting off and without protection! Using abortions as a birth control! y'all really don't care about your lives and wellbeing as WOMEN. You're still making the choice to be with and focus on MEN - even though you guys acknowledge everyday the FACT that they're not to be trusted and predatory. You guys post comments daily giving your accounts on how you've been violated and disregarded by men. But you still wanna be with them 😂 and then you have the audacity to get online and complain like you're a rookie. 😂
I was in abusive relationship without children. He stalked me and i was conditioned to believe that it was normal. It was not easy and I had my own place the whole relationship. I had to hire professional help to really “leave”
I refused to marry my now ex a few years ago because he told me he didn't want me to pursue another degree. This year I got an admission to a top MBA program in a foreign country on a good scholarship. This means I can earn and grow significantly through this education. I am grateful I made that decision of not marrying him despite being in so much love. First few months, it was unbearably heart breaking but gradually I healed and started thriving. The ex is married now but barely makes ends meet and his wife is not employed.
@@MB-xv7er you cannot be more wrong. I am not in contact with the ex. We have common friends who told me about his marriage. I told them not to talk about him again so they don't. World is full of men, no need to look back :D
You loved him (or who you thought he was) but he didn't really love you or he would NEVER of said he didn't want you to pursue another degree. This is why we date, its suppose to be an exploration of the other person, of you. Dating is fun, sometimes magical, but we also have to be mindful about it. Do the exploration work of it in the beginning, before any sex, b/c sometimes what you find out makes you glad you didn't let that man into your body (and make you feel like douching with industrial strength floor cleaner, LOL, joke). You made the right move there.
That's beautiful!! You will move onto greater and live the life you desire. Sounds like my ex. He hated seeing me thrive and even tried to put me down. Thankfully I know I have achieved so much over the years, I laughed in his face. He's married now and is still trying to message me but I blocked his dumbass.
Me for example. What they say is true! Beware of shitty men! When I moved away from my dad who behaved really shitty, I had a flatmate who was shitty and scared me to the point that I had to stay at a friend's place shortly before one of the most important tests of the whole bachelor's degree. I had no setup to complete my project and presentation there, couldn't do the test and it only went downhill from there when it came to my education. Now I'm poorer than I've ever been. For real people! Beware! I hope I can still turn my life around, I'm still in my early 30s.
@@tamiausten873 Thank you! The problem wasn't waking up for me though. I left home as soon as I had the chance (I mean I was a minor before that) but I knew about dad's toxicity way before that. Edit: and I also moved immediately after learning that my flatmate is/was not safe. Sometimes it's just bad luck and it sucks.
Ladies, cooking, cleaning, neglecting your friends, watching the kids alone most of the time, and giving up your career to be a good "wife" means Losing Your Entire Identity for a man, don't do it! He will not appreciate it, he will cheat on you and will leave you behind like trash. If you act like a servant, that's how a man will see you forever no matter what he says. You have been warned!
I hate how they call this mhen bashing when we try to warn women about possible situations. I wish I knew all of this as a young woman. My narcissist family were too busy trying to humble me then teaching me and giving me the tools to protect myself.
'cause if we all know and understand these issues, then men will have to change if they ever want consistent sex from a long -term partner again. Trashy men and their enablers (some women are agents of the patriarchy, too) will do everything but hold those men accountable and work on becoming better humans.
Yeah, the same way we say women bashing. It's a vicious cycle. In my school where I teach, a male teacher always talks about women like we are all the same, grouping me and a student together 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Turns out he has issues with his wife and his daughters left him for to stay with the mum, including his 18 year old daughter. When he lists their offenses, I feel for him but I know he's not 100% clean. He says he's washing his hands off his children with this woman, basically disowning them, with plans to have more kids in another relationship 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Obviously this is a red flag, he can't even give his children some grace, seeing as they are young. Also, there's a reason why they won't stay with him. I stay with my dad , only because I need the job I have close to his apartment: he also got me this job(in 2021, I refused to take the job, 2022 I took it and I'm going crazy staying here, I'm trying to leave before I snap)
I agree and I think any mother or female family member who doesn't warn a girl about the dangers of men truly h___s them. The good thing is at least you learned the lesson and are staying away from them.
"Most of these guys--they hate women" FACTSSS. I had to learn this the hard way. I thought that a man could never be jealous of me, but most of my exes were in THE WORST WAY! Mentally and emotionally abusive because they knew that I was out of their league... Now I observe EVERYTHING in the early stages. The moment a man tries to make a degrading "joke" I'm out!
Accepting the fact that men generally hate women and wish to hurt us has been probably the most freeing and relief-inducing mind shift I've ever had. I used to care so much. I wanted to make them like me and respect me and care about me. Now, they're just background noise. I'm polite and professional. I don't act like a rude, boorish B towards them. I simply look past them, like they're ghosts, and they aren't in my way anymore. And I've been doing so much better than I ever have before with that weight off my shoulders!
The fact that I wasted 4 years of my life with a man who ruined my life. A man who was an abuser. Fast foward to 2 years after the breakup, I’ve been LIVING LIFE! I travel, started my business, got promoted TWICE and made new friends. It’s like God was waiting for me to leave him to witness my blessings. I’m so happy we did not have kids or got married!!!! I’m so picky today
Yes, and it can literally be a man whom you didn’t even choose like your brother, your father, your uncle, or your cousin. Any male in close proximity to you can and often WILL ruin you because they are insecure about you outdoing/outperforming them financially. They feel emasculated by your successes and they will ruin your life in order to regain their sense of superiority over you. I’m speaking from personal experience.
@@user-ct3lg7mw9t no ones bitter I just think it’s wrong to say every male, I have good relationships with my sister mother and aunties so that’s just so wrong on so many levels. You’re projecting so hard
She's absolutely right. I would have purchased my own home by now had I not gotten sidelined by a man who love bombed me and drained my bank account only to dump me. The silver lining was I didn't get pregnant although he asked me to bear his child. My body said no - thank God! My life isn't ruined but my goals have not been met because of my interaction with him. Hard lesson learned but I won't make it again.
I almost flunked out of college because i let my grades drop from skipping class to see my ex, i lost my scholarship. then i couldnt afford to do multiple classes a semester so i fell a year and a half behind. All because of the “man” i was dating who was 10 years older than me (and lied about it), didnt have a job so i paid for everything with my $8 an hour wage, mentally ab*sed me by threatened to k*ll himself if i left him…I will NEVER let any man drag me down with him again, when i see red flags i run.
Yep he was 11 years older than me too I fell on drugs really really bad . I left at 27 for clean the following year now I’m 37 and I still struggle every day thinking about out the time wasted I took all these years to heal and move on never had another relationship either . Theee men who are a lot older then us have no clue to be w us I did start college 2012/2013 but once I did that I struggled a lot b money was a problem because I was focused on school sad thing is the moment I stop working he couldn’t even sustain $400 rent that it $400 selling all my stuff of my second car off got evicted got a new apartment and 2 months in eviction I sold my other car to get that . Apartment when I could just went home us staying out there is just keeping them time to keep them out the streets . Because I didn’t need to be out there suffering . it was very hard my grandpa died that year too in May by July … we had lost apartment I couldn’t even deal with my family etc and he was running around stealing n ppl making me asking for him . He took $100 from a lady who just had a baby he went there to see if she needed anything b she needs things from store he took her $100 and never came back there no men in that house and she had a baby they were calling me looking for him
OMG, this so true i have gotten evicted from DV and he used to destroy all my things when he was upset. Once I left him EVERYTHING got better. I am now in a house, great job and have peace of mind. I am single and will be for a long time!! Thanks for the video❤❤
I remember my kids' grandmother gripes about how she had to give up everything to raise her kids. She wanted to be a Photographer. She told me when I had kids that everything stops. Her raggedy son and her wanted me to quit college while he was a bumngga. It was at that moment that I rebelled and went to college and went ghost on them. I'm on my second degree in Science and ready to graduate in two semesters. I would never want to be a miserable old hag and listen to these old hags filled with resentment and regret. I stay away from l0sers.
My mom took. She told me when I was a teenager that she was jealous of her childfree married cousin who had money and was able to travel. I was like ma'am you chased a married man and you are a relationship hopper. I love my mother but she was more bit crazy than any 12 year old
The grandmother’s attitude is actually very telling… she’s basically saying she wished she pursued photography than having to raising children. Now, because she didn’t, she’s spiteful, regretful and nags about it. Though, it never too late. You did it, I hope she does, too
@@natcl9974 Sadly people like that do exist and are more prevalent in the world that most think. It's that whole crab in a bucket mentality. I'm down and so worried that you might get up that I try to keep you down too. After all, if you make it, doesn't it mean that I should have or could have? I've seen some parents act like that to their own kids. Dads jealous that their son might go to college or excel further than they did in sports and try to talk them into working at the local factory because "that's what he did". Or moms trying to force daughters to strive to be a stay at home mom because "look how great that turned out for her". Sickening.
Getting reading to work on a Masters and just completed a program last year as a certified herbalist plus I'm a RMA or r Registered Medical Assistant I stay away from unmotivated and dusty males
This is why I personally don’t want to have kids bc these men will switch up on you so fast. It’s like a game to them and I have no interest in being a pawn in their demented games.
My extra husband said he hated me wearing makeup and wanted me to wear baggy clothes. I was doing it then I caught him stalking someone on Facebook who wore makeup, breast done, wearing the skimpiest clothing. These ninjas ain’t shhhh
Exactly! They lie and manipulate. They will tell you that you look fine the natural way (without makeup) and then constantly look at women wearing makeup. The purpose of makeup is to bring out your natural beauty a little more, and this bothers most men because they are so insecure. I am beginning to think that most men are just sociopathic. I am certainly not gay, but I really don't care for them any more due to my own personal experiences and the experiences of family members and co-workers with men.
I met so many toxic men who are not on my level - self destroy, always come with drama , chaos , mental illnesses , and no motivation of goals or aspirations. My emotional and mental health is always disturbed by these guys as they have you on a vicious cycle roller coaster emotions. Avoid and beware !
I turn 31 this week. Never been married, have no kids. I'm learning with each day I've actually lucked out in many ways. Imma keep ducking and dodging. 😅
I didn't date UNTIL I was 31. I think it's why things are going so well. Established my career and self-worth first in my 20s. Now I have a great partner who is also healed and established. Picky is king
As a 31 year old woman, I come here to learn things, because no one ever taught me. Ive made countless mistakes, and I want to do/be better. So I appreciate your work. Thank you
I think there’s POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION and then there’s “postpartum” depression, or the depression caused by realizing most men aren’t good fathers or partners and experienced by women who never noticed the lack of care, concern, and love from their man *until they got pregnant and really* needed them. Unless you get a unicorn 🦄, don’t give that man kids. Foster or adopt one day if you really want to give a child a great home. Otherwise, birthing should be a HE11 NO!!
This comment explains a lot My mother actually said that where she lived decades ago there was no concept of postpartum depression It’s something she heard of only recently and she never met a woman of friend or relative suffering from postpartum depression
@@FoundSheep-AN I understand what the original comment is saying and I believe in some instances this can be very true. Of course realizing the father of your child is a cheater, abuser, or just a plain old bun after having a baby could lead to “postpartum” depression. That being said, there are actual physiological changes going on in the mother’s body that can lead PPD. Just because something didn’t have a name or wasn’t regularly diagnosed doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. There are still many women with PPD who don’t get diagnosed. I found out a week after being home my daughter’s father was off cheating one of the nights my daughter and I were still hospitalized. I just kept on trucking and taking care of my daughter. I probably had some signs of depression like loss of appetite and insomnia, but overall I just pushed through and did what I needed to do. Everyone is different though and some people aren’t as resilient.
@@NurseKayP just in case I wasn’t clear, I meant to make a distinction between the actual hormonal and physical condition VS a completely normal and natural response to having children with a bummy man. I’m definitely not discounting postpartum depression, but I have noticed men using it as an excuse in recent years when they’re actually terrible partners and fathers. That’s all I meant ❤️ And sorry for such a painful experience; I’m glad you were resilient and were able to push through the madness!
My abusive ex husband with comorbid NPD and BPD got me evicted, fired, ruined my career, made me homeless, took both cars, and left me literally for dead. This video is spot on. There’s nothing funny about it. Being too ready to get married leads to us getting killed or them ruining our lives. Most men are bad.
Being ready to get married doesn't mean you have to have blinders on and be completely incapable of spotting a loser. Their are TONS of videos on social media of women talking about how they ignored red flags. The reality is a lot of women ignore obvious red flags and then when all the red flags manifest in actions and deeds the women turn around and cry about the man when the reality is the man always had character flaws that you just chose to ignore
@@mack.... hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s always easier to spot red flags in someone who isn’t love bombing you personally. You can stay on your high horse all you want. I’m here to admit I missed all the red flags because love bombing worked so well on me and I’m here to warn other women so maybe it won’t happen to them. I take accountability for the fact that I ignored or didn’t notice many red flags because I was desperate to be married and I wish I could go back in time and change the past but I cannot. All we can do is grow and move forward and try to do better in the future.
And if they don't like certain things about you, let them find what they are looking for and leave you alone, as soon as you change for someone they already have the power over you.
I’m without $1000 because of my ex who turned around and cheated on me with his best friend and never paid me back. I could have put that money into a HYSA or a ROTH IRA. I learned my lesson. Now I invest into myself. Ladies please choose wisely.
You could have blown that money o skin care and be glowing, but no, you had to help a male out, lol😅 Lesson learned Hon, don't give them a nickel next time😅
To the lady with the red bonnet, the first time he ignored you for a holiday should have been the last time you ever spoke to him. He doesn’t GAF about you when he does something like that. That’s when you start looking into adoption options for the baby you’re carrying, and planning your escape from that male. Stop tying yourself via children to males who hate you. If he won’t acknowledge you before the child is here, it’s only gonna get worse once the baby is here. Obviously, hindsight is 20/20, but these males do not love us and feel for us like we do for them. They lie for access to xes and control over your life. They ENJOY hurting us. Don’t let them.
I'm very picky about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I chase goals and dreams not people. If they are not doing or treating me right I don't chase, I replace.
They always tell women to choose better but a narcissist doesn’t reveal themselves all at once and they usual prey on young naive women. I was 19 when I met my daughter’s father and he was 26. I made excuses for some things because he had a lot of childhood trauma. His abuse was a gradual slow progression when we were already a couple years and following the birth of our daughter is when his mask really slid off. I didn’t even know what to look for or what a narc was until I had my daughter and hit like 24 years old. And my daughter’s father is a true narcissist. He fits the criteria to a T and when I look back at everything with new found knowledge I can recognize some of the earlier signs I missed. After him when I dated and had relationships I knew what to look for an to run at the first signs of abuse. At 25 I again was in a relationship for 6 months with an older man and it was great. I thought I was in love with him. Valentine’s Day we went on a beautiful trip to NYC. Things were going great until he got jealous over nothing later that night on Valentine’s Day and started being abusive. He even threatened to leave me in NYC. I forgave him pretended shit was cool and when we got back home I was done with him. It didn’t matter if I loved him I was not being abused again.
Yes, it's the gradual slow progression part. They test the waters to see what you'll put up with then when they know you are invested in them, that's when they amp up the abuse, after you're trapped with them.
My friends experiences with their baby fathers and husbands has always been a huge lesson for me and the reason I have always been so cautious about getting pregnant!
I used to think most of these stories were just online till it happened to one of my friends that just got married last year in August. The pain her ex husband put her through after having 3 kids at 25 is unmatched. I broke down after she told me everything. This is real life and most women should stop ignoring the red flags. It’s crazy out here. I can’t really relate with these stories cuz I keep my legs closed and I start smelling those red flags a mile away. I immediately break up with them when I realize they aren’t good for me or they might be terrible husbands or fathers. It’s time to put your feet down and choose wisely because most of these men are unhinged!
Priscilla you are doing god's work. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for sharing this CRITICAL information with young woman. The people who want to silence you are likely either the toxic men who benefit from ignorance, or women who are complacent with the toxic abuse - and everyone knows misery loves company!
I do wonder what goes through women’s heads when they abandon everyone they knew FIRST over a man? Like did he talk bad on your family and friends….. did you allow him to or? NOTHING they did was questionable in your experience ever? Genuine question.
My best friend of 6 years did this. Some women are just so desperate for any male affection/validation they will gladly collapse their entire lives just to have him
It’s not that he talked bad about friends and family, it’s that when they see what the man is doing to you, you side with the man and bc you are so blinded, you’d rather avoid them than hear the truth.
Well when I first met him I really liked him. I was obsessed with him and wanted to be with him. Everyone else around me ceased to be interesting anymore. He was all I could focus on. Now I’m more into myself and my own journey. I realized that my friends weren’t really my friends.
That's why I end up not feeling sorry for the woman (or man) who abandoned everyone, NGL, especially if they had ride or dies who tried to warn them. Like, you willfully ignored people trying to help you. If someone does that to me, and they have, I try one more time, but if you don't want me around because you love the misery, well, I'm not about to be miserable too. I have other friends, and I have to live my life.
I agree to a point. At some point you have to take accountability and realize that man is dragging you down and get out. Also stop getting in relationships because you are lonely and obsessed with the thought of love.
Honestly this is what’s causing women problems! They’ve let the patriarchy (MEN) convince them that a relationship is a must and the end all and is natural when it’s not. Not everyone will get into a relationship when most men aren’t even supposed to get picked that’s just nature. Live your life. That’s what you’re here to do not obsess over men. Also rethink where your idea of “love” came from. Most of it was from movies and shows and Disney not what you’ve seen in real life.
Girlfriend At 15:27 Needs To Kindly Stfu With The Victim Blaming - MEN PRETEND WELL. In Many Of These Baby Mama Stories I Hear How They Were Friends For YEARS With The Dudes Before Having Kids && That's When Things Went Downhill From There. You Can Have Great Vetting Skills, A Strong Sense Of Discernment && STILL Not Be Able To Sniff Out A Sociopath/Psychopath.
And now we all know better…. Yet there’s still women out here defending and chasing men. We can’t just continually say men are crap and they pretend yet continue to choose men, have children with men, marry men, etc….. really men are crap and y’all are still dealing with them? What sympathy are you expecting when we all know men are fake?
@Enriquez2222 it's not about knowing better- its about accepting the fact that men aren't capable of love period - they don't love and will never be able to because it's their nature
You're not a victim though and men are NOT the main character. Weren't yall just talking smack on the other videos with reesa teesa and how weak she was. So keep that same energy when it gets close to home. 😂😂😂😂
@@chayo4537 You're The Kind Of Loser To Leave Your Instigating Two Cents Under Numerous People's Comments Because It's The Only Way You Know How To Get A Woman To Interact With You - Log Off && Get An Actual Life 🤣🤣🤣
To the lady in black. I understand where she is talking about, but she sounds like a pick me and repeating the crap men come up with. Where she got lost is these men will put on a show and tell the woman everything he's going to do. Show he cares, will go baby shopping, help pick out names all that. When baby shows up, he switches up.
Regarding the last woman, I don't agree with the whole deliberately choosing struggle so you can complain about a man; however, I do agree with the part that women need to also take accountability for their actions. If he didn't treat you well then why are you still sticking around why get pregnant by him and somehow expect him to be different? He already showed you who he was. Believe those actions the first time.
So why are people shocked when women off their children? 🤔 I mean shouldn't we all know the outcome of men abandoning or harming the mother of their children?
My first experience with a guy completely broke me at the time. Emotionally mentally and physically drained and unwell. I couldn't even function properly nor get out of bed. Thankfully, i found an amazing book that reminded me of my strength and power, and i found myself again. I remember the lockdown separated us and we were in two different continents at the time. I am sooo grateful because that was the only way i was able to leave that nutcase. Purely an energy vampire and now he has found a new victim, hope she wakes up soon. Nowadays, i observe and do not get too attached until i decide who i will marry. I have noticed they try to rush everything so they can hide their true colours which is ridiculous, i never fall for it anymore, the love bombing/gaslighting. I put myself first always!!Never put a man first ladies, some of them are truly crazy!
10:32 seriously stop rewarding these dudes with children. Please stop , her story is disheartening.😢 15:33 absolutely it’s called trauma bonding. 16:38 you stop all of that only for him to cheat on you with the person who has everything he told you not to have. It’s wild and nefarious.
Sounds like a narcissist alright. The switch up once they marry you or get you pregnant is insane. And they will be shitty on your bday or not make it special at all and always say “You wonder why” to try and act like you’re so unworthy of a nice bday because there’s so much wrong with you. My ex destroyed me while I was carrying our son. He inflicted to much evil on me I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
Don't try to wrap your mind around it cuz you're trying to understand a seed of wickedness. Let it go and move forward and leave the dusty in the dust.
I'm not sorry: There is no switch up. This isn't to give them a pass because I LOATHE narcs. But there is NO switch-up. What happens is that people tend to ignore red flags until something so life-changing happens that the small red flags they'd always been ignoring join hands and show you the big red one that was always forming in the background. There are always breadcrumbs, and until people realize that, they'll keep ignoring them and keep ending up in this situation.
People don't factor in the biggest part: time. All people change with time. Experiences from over time change people permanently. You can't predict if a good man will continue to be honest, or just good at lying.
Yeah so true, but investing in a man is a choice…. We’ve seen the results of women investing in men, why do y’all keep testing reality when it’s already shown you what’s up?
@@Enriquez2222 because sunk cost fallacy is a bitch most people don't know exist and they have been conditioned to weather the storm. It's unfortunate, but it's how some brains are wired.
First of all, you are doing a great job and you don't need to explain yourself and the purpose of your chanel to anyone. If they don't agree they can keep it moving, we won't keep the horrifying stories and experiences of several women just to massage the ego of people who believe "not all men" blah blah. Anyway, great video ❤️
It's as though you judgy aunties don't have ears. What part of PEOPLE LIE AND PEOPLE CHANGE do you not understand? How is your comment helpful? These women have been brave enough to share their stories, trying to help young women, and here you come. It's so goofy.
Stop victim shaming because we all been manipulated by men at some point in time furthering Queen P stance that men are incapable of love and they're out here damaging and self sabotaging women and their lives !
@@chayo4537 Natural Human Beings Want Love At The Bare Minimum, If Not A Family. But As A Red Piller You're Not Normal - Sooooo Can't Expect Much Out Of You. Just Look At You, Commenting On Like Ten Women's Comments Just To Feel Like You're Someone. 🤡
Keep your standards and boundaries. Expand your options and stay true to yourself so that you avoid the nonsense. Just don't idolize being in a relationship and keep loving you. If it happens, good. If it doesn't, still be good.
Most of these guys do hate women. I could relate to the second lady who's ex "Mr ruined my life". I personally dated someone who didn't like me. He would say with his mouth he loves me but his actions showed that he DID NOT LIKE ME!!! I don't think you have ever felt pain like that. These men are wild. Narcissism and red flags should be subjects taught in school. It's peak in these streets.
I understand you fully on the part that he did not LIKE YOUI went through it with my ex ! That’s the worse feeling and pain I wouldn’t wish anybody to go through.. these narcs are the devil in the flesh seriously!!!
If I told you how my childs father trapped me you'd never believe me....he did what he did the way he did to make sure no one would believe me and alot of them do that and then start smear campaigns
I think it’s so important to acknowledge that in this patriarchal society, women are raised to serve and constantly change themselves to make others happy. That the only way to be happy is if you’re with a guy. Whereas men are raised to believe that they have the right to be entitled and demand what they want, especially from women, and have zero consequences for their toxic and harmful behavior.
women are not raised to serve at all what are you talking about? tell me what your wifely duties are and how to keep a man if you have been raised this way, feminism is the idea that women dont need to serve that you can do everything a man can which also includes being a man which is why "successful" women get ignored in the dating scene, women are not asked to change themselves, you being you is fine enough, a woman being submissive and a man taking the lead doesnt mean the women is to do his bidding, you both have roles to play and unfair treatment is simply that, unfair and should be addressed. when you say men demand with no consequence what do you mean? if i say i want a feminine wife who is submissive and cooperative is this what your talking about? demanding these preferences?
This is why it’s so important to make sure that you love yourself and that you’re protecting your boundaries and your peace and that you always have the willingness to go no matter who it is or what situation you are in
I don't even want to think where I'd be if not for meeting my ex. I thought I knew better,I thought abuse like that doesn't happen in "good families", I thought I'm too strong to break,too good to fall...I was wrong and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I don't even recognise who I was before and I don't want to remember the person I turned into when I was with him. Shared madness..
I feel like my ex did a great job of screwing up my life. Our only child is profoundly disabled and I was left to rear my son alone. I shouldn't have had to do that alone. So yes, being with a narcissist and abusive guy can ruin your life. He abandoned us and his son so yes, you canhaveyour life altered in a bad way if with a person who is reckless with life choices.
When I use to date Aholes, I refused to get off birth control. After this video I was so right. My man now is so nice, and his family is nice. Wait it out, watch your back. The good man is coming trust.
15:00 i do not think people have kids ON PURPOSE for an excuse, that is ridiculous. but women definitely use their kids and crappy husband/boyfriend as an excuse to be a crappy friend and excuse their crappy husband's behavior. people use their kids as an excuse to get away with lots of things but it's an afterthought. most women genuinely believe their children's fathers will change, and lots of men think they will be able to change too. but most do not change.
Women that have NEVER dealt with a narcissist i need them to shut up. I was with a narcissist before I no longer am its been years so i understand these other women we live WE LEARN and what ive learned is not to be so quick to judge or put myself on a high horse BECAUSE IVE LEARNED, so "Grace" is what i give to these other women it takes months and often times YEARS to recover from narcissistic abuse. If you've been fortunate enough to have never dealt with one BE GRATEFUL
Listen! I lost my whole self, went through a nervous breakdown and am just getting to even 10 years later. It's been in the last 3-4 years that I decided that I would truly forgive and not do him bodily harm. My body is still suffering the effects of being under all that stress for so long. Trusting people because of him has proven to be difficult, male or female.
She's a young who couldn't have known better. Remember that the Black Women Empowerment ( de-centering men, anti-pickme etc) is very recent. Some of us that are older, and started the decentering earlier, were in the minority and shouldn't look down upon the one who didn't know better.
I feel so terrible for any of the women that have to deal with fuckery while children are involved. I don't have any myself but I imagine that would make it hurt so much more.
Him: This year has been hell for me Her: 😐 ( childbirth is a cause of death and post partum is the grim reaper, stalking you and you have to actively fight your own mind!!!) 😔 Most men are viruses 🤷🏾 I'll never rely on a male that I didn't give birth to! I have trained my sons to protect my life AND YOURS WITH THEIR LIFE. I just hope they never have to 🙏🏾
Yet the irony is that many women are seen as toxic who oppress men but don't acknowledge how toxic men are bad. There was a TikTok clip from one of your previous videos where a TikToker exposed toxic men which was refreshing to see 😃
@12:55 I totally agree with this because from the time my ex told me to abort my baby, I knew he wasn’t gonna be there for him. Nothing he said after his son was born meant anything to me once he told me to get an abortion, so I never went after him for child support. I never really begged him to take or be with his child. I already knew he wasn’t gonna be there, but I was also a willing participant in the relationship and I’m not gonna, not take care of my responsibilities. From that moment on, I knew it was just me and my son. 🤷🏾♀️
After I left a toxic relationship 3 years ago, I am living my best life. The biggest thing is my peace, my life is peaceful now and I will never give that up for no man!!
True story, chose a man as a youngin (family wasnt loving or supportive, the regular story) and i probably will never be where i want to be Edit : He went to "celebrate" the birth of our daughter the night I left the hospital with his friends
This is my life. I'm now in it too far. Verbally abused and treated like a servant. The best part of my life is my relationship with God and my children. Young ladies listen. I was on tract to become a doctor or pharmacist and my narcissistic bf told me to choose him or career. I'm now married to bf with 4 children and no career. He constantly belittles me and I cry everyday. I'm so sad and unloved. My grandfather warned me too. He saw the trauma in him from losing a brother and told me he would never love because of that trauma. He was so right.
Yes my mom is a testimony and is constantly telling me the same things when she sees me making similar mistakes to her. I used to think she was over exaggerating but really it was to look out for my best interest and to not see her daughter go down the same path. Now my daughter will be able to grow up with a loving and healed mama who is going after her dreams, not being dragged through the mud. Breaking generational curses! Thank God for these women ❤
Umm... Just a question... After centuries of the same game, why are we falling for the same tricks??? Bad men, or bad women... The tropes are repeated through out the world in history. So are the tactics, and theories, and alot of other stuff. Book's upon books are written through out history and we can't come out of the cycle of negativity (or attributes there of) ... The last young lady was on point... We know the outcome of dealing in ignorance, so why deal in it?
Glad you admit men are full of tricks. I bet you tricked the world into believing that Eve ate the apple, even though God has continued to punish men since the beginning and blessed women with the ability to create and birth life .
Because when you’re raised by abusers you think it’s normal. When you’re raised by good people, you can’t believe people are like this. People have to be educated by their families or themselves to see through these behaviors. Stop blaming victims. Start holding abusers responsible for their abuse!
Meet a guy while in college and ended up dropping out because I kept missing class to be with him. Fast forward met my child's father tried going back to school but was so stressed and distracted with him that I never ended up finishing. Stayed with him 6 years. When I left he was admitted into the hospital for attempted suicide ( tried jumping off building). After that I tried with other guys and was always left hurt and disappointed. Men have literally traumatized me. I'm 33 and it's finally clicking. I plan to be single forever or a very long time.
You didn't ask for my opinion at all, but from personal experience we focus our attention on what we prioritize AND we choose our partners. Not saying these men weren't bad, but I am saying your focus twice being on a man above all else maybe something you should investigate...personally. Is there childhood trauma creating the need for a man? daddy issues? Need for security? Some men suck, but if our choices in general turn us away from what will better our lives, then that choice is ours. Just a thought, but therapy really helps to unload alot of that, especially if we are raising young men. We don't want to inadvertently pass our traumas onto our children.
@@theseeker4700 Thank you. I definitely have a lot of healing to do. My childhood wasn't terrible but my parents were definitely emotionally neglectful. I believe that's were everything started. My choices in men and what I've tolerated had a lot to do with how I felt about myself.
Ladies, stop having babies with dudes y'all barley know. Just because you're dating a guy doesn't mean you have to have a baby by him!! Stop setting yourself up to struggle as a single mom.
You need to make a video on men not wanting to work and depends on the woman for everything. My friend is in this situation right now . I think it’s crazy that she works more than 40 hours a week to give her whole paycheck to her boyfriend…smh
This is why I stand on not having a man’s baby until he shows you consistently for YEARS that he’s there for you, and always have your own solid support system before having a baby 😭
Nothing to be upset about, that makes perfect sence, i would go one step further and say stop having s3x with men so damn early and freely, 2nd place "s3x only no kids no commitment" is not a punishment for men but a luxury, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free. Think ladies, i believe you can do it just show restraint. Edit: im a man 37 and have enjoyed the hookup culture so far, have you?
I gave up my life to build a life with the father of my children. I met him 2008. I regret it. I have 3 children and have been unemployed for 12 yrs. He left his job to start a side hustle during the pandemics. We have been struggling and not having food in the house. On Tuesday the 13th I was turning 40. I didn't get a happy birthday nor even a cake. Depression has been kicking me. I cant even think straight. I wish i had a family to go back to and start over. My mother passed away during covid.
Please don't change your channel because of the haters. You're going to have haters no matter what content you create. Your 30k+ followers on THIS channel want and appreciate your videos so keep 'em coming.
As a woman who's life was derailed by a man let me just clarify 2 things to help some young lady out there. 1. I didn't choose a bad bf to have a child with. a) He messed with my contraceptive pill, thats how I got pregnant b) he took such good care of me for 2 whole years before I evem fell pregnant so yes I automatically assumed he would care for his child because he took care of a gf. 2. When a man love bombs you for a year and suddenly the compliments become insult I think the young ladies call it negging. You will change because you are accustom to being love bombed and it's addictive, if this is hard for you to understand thank your God for this. He said it "I love how your natural skin looks, don't put on foundation and show your pimple free skin" or "you're so pretty in a dress/skirt, lets buy you more skirts" and that gradually grows into "that jean makes your bum look weird/ your legs have a weird shape hey" this is not at the beginning this is after you are thoroughly conditioned and addicted to the love bombing
Moved out at 15 because home wasn’t safe, moved in with my boyfriend (first love) but he was abusive too, badly. That relationship robbed me of the fun and freedom of my late teens, the after effects of that trauma bled into the rest of my life and took years of therapy to overcome. Glad to be on the other side of it 🙏🏻
Incase they wanna bring up bible scriptures! The bible said a woman with many children is feeble but i dont hear no one tlking about it😂 instead they say god said you should multiply ! As if they aint more than children to be multiplied hell nooooo get away from me
The story of the lady with the baby… she did it to herself. She got hit with the okie doke! He gave her that baby as revenge so he can have access to torture her. Ladies keep your knees locked and wombs closed.never go back to what you left or what left you
That poor woman that had a kid with the guy that did not love her. I finally had a kid last year and my husband has been nothing but supportive and he loves the baby as much as I do. There were still moments when it was hard. I can't imagine doing that with someone who doesn't support you and is so callous. Protect yourself.
Yeah, it was a really helpful video until that moment. I felt nauseous hearing what she said. I usually just stop watching when people like that pop up because it feels like more abuse. I’m so done with that.
Most men have a fake persona in the beginning. They literally do this so that he can trap her into motherhood and marriage then boom he shows his true colors.
I see a lot of people calling the woman in the black shirt a pick me. I have to disagree. I really don't like that some women are okay with being coddled like an infant. If I make a mistake, it's my mistake. We need to stop blaming men for everything. People treat you how you let them. I would never allow a man to disrespect me. I can not believe the things women put up with. You do one thing wrong and I'm done. He's an adult. Let him go if he doesn't act right. And we're adults as well, don't stand by him and cry about it and say you can't leave. If he isn't holding you captive, you can leave.
I feel like I lose interest as much as I gain it. And my dating history is proof, each person has been a thankyou next, and they know theyll lose me how they got me.
The red flags are always there you can’t ignore what God is showing you. It’s sooo important to accept Jesus as your lord and savior and be filled with the Holy Spirit the give of discernment and discerning of spirits will save your life!!!
The girl with the red bonnet said the man ruined her life. Didnt she say she was in a relationship when she had this fling. That would mean she played a part in what happened to her. Am I wrong?
She said they weren’t together anymore. However, she did have something with him before she was in the last relationship. He did what he did on purpose. They don’t take it well, when they’re not your first choice.
Im convinced post partum depression is something more about not having support versus just having a baby. Science knows lack of supportive partner can contribute to it but I am convinced its absolutely from lack of support.
![be YOUR OWN dream girl [or else...]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/V1Ce1KtdR9k/mqdefault.jpg)
I hate when people say choose better when it pertains to women but when it’s men they show men grace for choosing the wrong one please like people lie and manipulate
There is also something called covert narcissism you won’t see the traits until you are in deep women deserve more grace and men should do better because there’s literally a scarcity of the said better men Mtcheww
Yeah the love bombing can be blinding until the mask falls off as for those women who enjoy shaming other women because of their circumstances karma is a bitch.
To be fair for men they are not told choose better, they are called simps or weak. That is the equivalent of choose better
Exactly, and it's women that have zero grace for other women.
@@missrain5164I second that, sister.❤
I gave up all my friends, goals, and money for my last relationship. He cheated on me when I got pregnant.
Oh no sorry to hear that I hope you are doing better now
I’m Sorry to hear that! Please learn from this and move accordingly! If you can reach back out to your community or find a new community of support! 💕💕
To be fair women are taught by patriarchy that having a man is a woman's end goal.
Many friends have stopped being my friend when they got into a new relationship.
Women are not taught that most mhen can easily betray you and lie to you and commit criminal actions against you.
Because of this many women go blindly in to relationships and end up being hurt.
You didn't deserve the treatment you received , stay focused on being a great mother to your baby 💕. All will be well 🥰.
Same and same. Definitely a learning experience and I’m still learning to forgive myself for allowing all that I did.
Stop having kids, stop having kids, stop having kids…. When you don’t have kids with someone it’s so easy to leave heal and move tf on
Whenever I say this people call me crazy. I’ll rather be lonely abs miserable than put my child through crap in the name of a relationship or marriage.
People think I'm joking when I say my biggest accomplishment in life is never letting a man get me pregnant. I'm DEADASS.
I agree with ALL of the comments above ❤ 👏🏿💯
Stop sleeping with men! Especially if you're barely getting off and without protection! Using abortions as a birth control! y'all really don't care about your lives and wellbeing as WOMEN. You're still making the choice to be with and focus on MEN - even though you guys acknowledge everyday the FACT that they're not to be trusted and predatory. You guys post comments daily giving your accounts on how you've been violated and disregarded by men. But you still wanna be with them 😂 and then you have the audacity to get online and complain like you're a rookie. 😂
I was in abusive relationship without children. He stalked me and i was conditioned to believe that it was normal. It was not easy and I had my own place the whole relationship. I had to hire professional help to really “leave”
I refused to marry my now ex a few years ago because he told me he didn't want me to pursue another degree. This year I got an admission to a top MBA program in a foreign country on a good scholarship. This means I can earn and grow significantly through this education. I am grateful I made that decision of not marrying him despite being in so much love. First few months, it was unbearably heart breaking but gradually I healed and started thriving. The ex is married now but barely makes ends meet and his wife is not employed.
Obviously you’re still entertaining him if you know so much about his life
@@MB-xv7er you cannot be more wrong. I am not in contact with the ex. We have common friends who told me about his marriage. I told them not to talk about him again so they don't. World is full of men, no need to look back :D
@@MB-xv7erhater 😂😂😂
You loved him (or who you thought he was) but he didn't really love you or he would NEVER of said he didn't want you to pursue another degree. This is why we date, its suppose to be an exploration of the other person, of you. Dating is fun, sometimes magical, but we also have to be mindful about it. Do the exploration work of it in the beginning, before any sex, b/c sometimes what you find out makes you glad you didn't let that man into your body (and make you feel like douching with industrial strength floor cleaner, LOL, joke). You made the right move there.
That's beautiful!! You will move onto greater and live the life you desire. Sounds like my ex. He hated seeing me thrive and even tried to put me down. Thankfully I know I have achieved so much over the years, I laughed in his face. He's married now and is still trying to message me but I blocked his dumbass.
“There are people without a degree today, because of a man”
This hit me!
Me for example. What they say is true! Beware of shitty men! When I moved away from my dad who behaved really shitty, I had a flatmate who was shitty and scared me to the point that I had to stay at a friend's place shortly before one of the most important tests of the whole bachelor's degree. I had no setup to complete my project and presentation there, couldn't do the test and it only went downhill from there when it came to my education. Now I'm poorer than I've ever been. For real people! Beware! I hope I can still turn my life around, I'm still in my early 30s.
@@Franzifii you can, love. Some people turn around at 50+. At least you've woken up now. It'll get better soon ❤❤
@@tamiausten873 Thank you! The problem wasn't waking up for me though. I left home as soon as I had the chance (I mean I was a minor before that) but I knew about dad's toxicity way before that. Edit: and I also moved immediately after learning that my flatmate is/was not safe. Sometimes it's just bad luck and it sucks.
Facts nothing to fall back on
@@Franzifii you can work at your goals and don't let anything or anyone stop you
Toxic men can also end your life too.
I think that will be part 2.
Yep
Almost unalived myself due to a toxic male - the anguish will push you to the edge
If not acutely, they’ll literally take years off of it 😢
Ladies, cooking, cleaning, neglecting your friends, watching the kids alone most of the time, and giving up your career to be a good "wife" means Losing Your Entire Identity for a man, don't do it! He will not appreciate it, he will cheat on you and will leave you behind like trash. If you act like a servant, that's how a man will see you forever no matter what he says. You have been warned!
I hate how they call this mhen bashing when we try to warn women about possible situations.
I wish I knew all of this as a young woman.
My narcissist family were too busy trying to humble me then teaching me and giving me the tools to protect myself.
'cause if we all know and understand these issues, then men will have to change if they ever want consistent sex from a long -term partner again. Trashy men and their enablers (some women are agents of the patriarchy, too) will do everything but hold those men accountable and work on becoming better humans.
Yeah, the same way we say women bashing. It's a vicious cycle. In my school where I teach, a male teacher always talks about women like we are all the same, grouping me and a student together 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Turns out he has issues with his wife and his daughters left him for to stay with the mum, including his 18 year old daughter. When he lists their offenses, I feel for him but I know he's not 100% clean. He says he's washing his hands off his children with this woman, basically disowning them, with plans to have more kids in another relationship 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️. Obviously this is a red flag, he can't even give his children some grace, seeing as they are young. Also, there's a reason why they won't stay with him. I stay with my dad , only because I need the job I have close to his apartment: he also got me this job(in 2021, I refused to take the job, 2022 I took it and I'm going crazy staying here, I'm trying to leave before I snap)
I agree and I think any mother or female family member who doesn't warn a girl about the dangers of men truly h___s them. The good thing is at least you learned the lesson and are staying away from them.
@@RebelNutts-gg1xf so she's choosing not to date all men because of it. Sucks to be men. 🤷🏾♀️Good luck with your man on man love.
@@RebelNutts-gg1xf and now because of her choices she's choosing to avoid all men🤷🏾♀️. Sucks to be y'all.
"Most of these guys--they hate women" FACTSSS. I had to learn this the hard way. I thought that a man could never be jealous of me, but most of my exes were in THE WORST WAY! Mentally and emotionally abusive because they knew that I was out of their league... Now I observe EVERYTHING in the early stages. The moment a man tries to make a degrading "joke" I'm out!
So correct
Same here 💯
Accepting the fact that men generally hate women and wish to hurt us has been probably the most freeing and relief-inducing mind shift I've ever had. I used to care so much. I wanted to make them like me and respect me and care about me. Now, they're just background noise. I'm polite and professional. I don't act like a rude, boorish B towards them. I simply look past them, like they're ghosts, and they aren't in my way anymore. And I've been doing so much better than I ever have before with that weight off my shoulders!
@@jayogee913 god bless you 🙏
Same! I wash my hands of those who start "teasing" me by putting me down and pretending it's supposed to be cute.
The fact that I wasted 4 years of my life with a man who ruined my life. A man who was an abuser. Fast foward to 2 years after the breakup, I’ve been LIVING LIFE! I travel, started my business, got promoted TWICE and made new friends. It’s like God was waiting for me to leave him to witness my blessings. I’m so happy we did not have kids or got married!!!! I’m so picky today
Lord Jesus I tap into this blessing. Amen 🙏🏽
I am so proud of you 😘
I flourish ALONE.❤🎉❤
Same ❤️ and refuse to give up my peace and anything else again
Same here!!
Many women flourished alone dear. I’ve witnessed it many times.
We flourish alone financially, mentally, and physically.
PERIOD!!!!!!🎉😂
Yes, and it can literally be a man whom you didn’t even choose like your brother, your father, your uncle, or your cousin. Any male in close proximity to you can and often WILL ruin you because they are insecure about you outdoing/outperforming them financially. They feel emasculated by your successes and they will ruin your life in order to regain their sense of superiority over you. I’m speaking from personal experience.
That shows how weak they are and pathetic. Not even worth being in my presence
cap
@@user-ct3lg7mw9t no ones bitter I just think it’s wrong to say every male, I have good relationships with my sister mother and aunties so that’s just so wrong on so many levels. You’re projecting so hard
@@Ktsjay187- She didn't say "every male."
@@kdphotos4691 you’re being pedantic. “Any male” “can and often will”. She’s saying it without saying it
She's absolutely right. I would have purchased my own home by now had I not gotten sidelined by a man who love bombed me and drained my bank account only to dump me. The silver lining was I didn't get pregnant although he asked me to bear his child. My body said no - thank God! My life isn't ruined but my goals have not been met because of my interaction with him. Hard lesson learned but I won't make it again.
I almost flunked out of college because i let my grades drop from skipping class to see my ex, i lost my scholarship. then i couldnt afford to do multiple classes a semester so i fell a year and a half behind.
All because of the “man” i was dating who was 10 years older than me (and lied about it), didnt have a job so i paid for everything with my $8 an hour wage, mentally ab*sed me by threatened to k*ll himself if i left him…I will NEVER let any man drag me down with him again, when i see red flags i run.
Girl, he would have been gone then because I would have left there running lol.
Omg that's horrendous I'm sorry
Yep he was 11 years older than me too I fell on drugs really really bad . I left at 27 for clean the following year now I’m 37 and I still struggle every day thinking about out the time wasted I took all these years to heal and move on never had another relationship either . Theee men who are a lot older then us have no clue to be w us I did start college 2012/2013 but once I did that I struggled a lot b money was a problem because I was focused on school sad thing is the moment I stop working he couldn’t even sustain $400 rent that it $400 selling all my stuff of my second car off got evicted got a new apartment and 2 months in eviction I sold my other car to get that . Apartment when I could just went home us staying out there is just keeping them time to keep them out the streets . Because I didn’t need to be out there suffering . it was very hard my grandpa died that year too in May by July … we had lost apartment I couldn’t even deal with my family etc and he was running around stealing n ppl making me asking for him . He took $100 from a lady who just had a baby he went there to see if she needed anything b she needs things from store he took her $100 and never came back there no men in that house and she had a baby they were calling me looking for him
Damn, tellin my story like that
@@Mae_______your shared psychosis- i mean story is pathetic
OMG, this so true i have gotten evicted from DV and he used to destroy all my things when he was upset. Once I left him EVERYTHING got better. I am now in a house, great job and have peace of mind. I am single and will be for a long time!! Thanks for the video❤❤
GO GIRL!! So happy for you ❤️
More power to you girl ❤
@@CeCe317 Only going up from here sis! Good for you. Glad things have improved. 😊
Wonderful ❤
Being single is freedom way to build an make a life for our selves. Yes 27 I came home now 37 the entire time I been healing re ewww eww
I remember my kids' grandmother gripes about how she had to give up everything to raise her kids. She wanted to be a Photographer. She told me when I had kids that everything stops. Her raggedy son and her wanted me to quit college while he was a bumngga. It was at that moment that I rebelled and went to college and went ghost on them. I'm on my second degree in Science and ready to graduate in two semesters. I would never want to be a miserable old hag and listen to these old hags filled with resentment and regret. I stay away from l0sers.
My mom took. She told me when I was a teenager that she was jealous of her childfree married cousin who had money and was able to travel. I was like ma'am you chased a married man and you are a relationship hopper. I love my mother but she was more bit crazy than any 12 year old
The grandmother’s attitude is actually very telling… she’s basically saying she wished she pursued photography than having to raising children. Now, because she didn’t, she’s spiteful, regretful and nags about it. Though, it never too late. You did it, I hope she does, too
@@natcl9974 Sadly people like that do exist and are more prevalent in the world that most think. It's that whole crab in a bucket mentality. I'm down and so worried that you might get up that I try to keep you down too. After all, if you make it, doesn't it mean that I should have or could have? I've seen some parents act like that to their own kids. Dads jealous that their son might go to college or excel further than they did in sports and try to talk them into working at the local factory because "that's what he did". Or moms trying to force daughters to strive to be a stay at home mom because "look how great that turned out for her". Sickening.
Good job!
Getting reading to work on a Masters and just completed a program last year as a certified herbalist plus I'm a RMA or r
Registered Medical Assistant I stay away from unmotivated and dusty males
Last girl was on point. I saw all the red flags but ignored it as well. First step was admitting it
This is why I personally don’t want to have kids bc these men will switch up on you so fast. It’s like a game to them and I have no interest in being a pawn in their demented games.
Yes you do. 😂
You are interested in being a pawn 😂
@@chayo4537 are you interested in your offspring being 10 day vacationed🤔😶
My extra husband said he hated me wearing makeup and wanted me to wear baggy clothes. I was doing it then I caught him stalking someone on Facebook who wore makeup, breast done, wearing the skimpiest clothing. These ninjas ain’t shhhh
Exactly! They lie and manipulate. They will tell you that you look fine the natural way (without makeup) and then constantly look at women wearing makeup. The purpose of makeup is to bring out your natural beauty a little more, and this bothers most men because they are so insecure. I am beginning to think that most men are just sociopathic. I am certainly not gay, but I really don't care for them any more due to my own personal experiences and the experiences of family members and co-workers with men.
I ain't changing my appearance for NO MAN eff these ninjas
They want to control their main woman while drooling over their 'dream' women.
Relevant comment.
@@gem9535 why don't they want the main woman look like their actual dream woman? How's that sensible even?! Their heads are weird
I met so many toxic men who are not on my level - self destroy, always come with drama , chaos , mental illnesses , and no motivation of goals or aspirations. My emotional and mental health is always disturbed by these guys as they have you on a vicious cycle roller coaster emotions. Avoid and beware !
Converted narcissism is real
So, they come with a legion of demons looking to take you to Hell with them. 😭😭😭😭
@@misssincere5762 yes right
And you're still gonna get back out there when you've healed because you wanna believe the right man is out there a.k.a less abusive
@@chayo4537 I've been single 13 years and have no interest to date now or ever
I turn 31 this week. Never been married, have no kids. I'm learning with each day I've actually lucked out in many ways. Imma keep ducking and dodging. 😅
same!!!
I didn't date UNTIL I was 31. I think it's why things are going so well. Established my career and self-worth first in my 20s. Now I have a great partner who is also healed and established. Picky is king
Statistically, you have already avoided what would have been your first divorce. 👏
As a 31 year old woman, I come here to learn things, because no one ever taught me. Ive made countless mistakes, and I want to do/be better. So I appreciate your work. Thank you
Thanks for the support ❤️
Glad you’re gaining enlightenment. 🫂 💕
@@ibabechanel girl, me too. Because I have a lot to learn.
@@Priscilla_Boye you’re very welcome
Same!
I think there’s POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION and then there’s “postpartum” depression, or the depression caused by realizing most men aren’t good fathers or partners and experienced by women who never noticed the lack of care, concern, and love from their man *until they got pregnant and really* needed them.
Unless you get a unicorn 🦄, don’t give that man kids. Foster or adopt one day if you really want to give a child a great home. Otherwise, birthing should be a HE11 NO!!
This comment explains a lot
My mother actually said that where she lived decades ago there was no concept of postpartum depression
It’s something she heard of only recently and she never met a woman of friend or relative suffering from postpartum depression
@@FoundSheep-AN I understand what the original comment is saying and I believe in some instances this can be very true. Of course realizing the father of your child is a cheater, abuser, or just a plain old bun after having a baby could lead to “postpartum” depression.
That being said, there are actual physiological changes going on in the mother’s body that can lead PPD. Just because something didn’t have a name or wasn’t regularly diagnosed doesn’t mean it didn’t exist. There are still many women with PPD who don’t get diagnosed.
I found out a week after being home my daughter’s father was off cheating one of the nights my daughter and I were still hospitalized. I just kept on trucking and taking care of my daughter. I probably had some signs of depression like loss of appetite and insomnia, but overall I just pushed through and did what I needed to do. Everyone is different though and some people aren’t as resilient.
@@NurseKayP just in case I wasn’t clear, I meant to make a distinction between the actual hormonal and physical condition VS a completely normal and natural response to having children with a bummy man.
I’m definitely not discounting postpartum depression, but I have noticed men using it as an excuse in recent years when they’re actually terrible partners and fathers. That’s all I meant ❤️ And sorry for such a painful experience; I’m glad you were resilient and were able to push through the madness!
There are sooooo many children waiting to be adopted.
My abusive ex husband with comorbid NPD and BPD got me evicted, fired, ruined my career, made me homeless, took both cars, and left me literally for dead. This video is spot on. There’s nothing funny about it. Being too ready to get married leads to us getting killed or them ruining our lives. Most men are bad.
They are bad people.
Yes. Being so ready to love can get you killed. Drive safely
Being ready to get married doesn't mean you have to have blinders on and be completely incapable of spotting a loser. Their are TONS of videos on social media of women talking about how they ignored red flags. The reality is a lot of women ignore obvious red flags and then when all the red flags manifest in actions and deeds the women turn around and cry about the man when the reality is the man always had character flaws that you just chose to ignore
@@mack.... hindsight is always 20/20 and it’s always easier to spot red flags in someone who isn’t love bombing you personally. You can stay on your high horse all you want. I’m here to admit I missed all the red flags because love bombing worked so well on me and I’m here to warn other women so maybe it won’t happen to them. I take accountability for the fact that I ignored or didn’t notice many red flags because I was desperate to be married and I wish I could go back in time and change the past but I cannot. All we can do is grow and move forward and try to do better in the future.
@@lexa_power dont blame yourself anymore. Wosh you all love ❤ and peace🌷
And if they don't like certain things about you, let them find what they are looking for and leave you alone, as soon as you change for someone they already have the power over you.
Please say it again, I am deaf to the truth 🤦♀️❤️
I’m without $1000 because of my ex who turned around and cheated on me with his best friend and never paid me back. I could have put that money into a HYSA or a ROTH IRA. I learned my lesson. Now I invest into myself. Ladies please choose wisely.
Sis, I'm choosing myself it's safer, and I'm sorry about your financial loss. Why do I tell women to deal with men on their level and choose yourself
Girl you are not the only one who diverted funds to a no good lowdown man, but if you live you can learn. You’ll see that back tenfold one day.
She gifted a man cash and he cheated so now she's upset. "Lending" money with no agreement for repayment is a gift@@RebelNutts-gg1xf
You could have blown that money o skin care and be glowing, but no, you had to help a male out, lol😅
Lesson learned Hon, don't give them a nickel next time😅
To the lady with the red bonnet, the first time he ignored you for a holiday should have been the last time you ever spoke to him. He doesn’t GAF about you when he does something like that. That’s when you start looking into adoption options for the baby you’re carrying, and planning your escape from that male. Stop tying yourself via children to males who hate you. If he won’t acknowledge you before the child is here, it’s only gonna get worse once the baby is here. Obviously, hindsight is 20/20, but these males do not love us and feel for us like we do for them. They lie for access to xes and control over your life. They ENJOY hurting us. Don’t let them.
I'm very picky about how I spend my time and who I spend it with. I chase goals and dreams not people. If they are not doing or treating me right I don't chase, I replace.
They always tell women to choose better but a narcissist doesn’t reveal themselves all at once and they usual prey on young naive women. I was 19 when I met my daughter’s father and he was 26. I made excuses for some things because he had a lot of childhood trauma. His abuse was a gradual slow progression when we were already a couple years and following the birth of our daughter is when his mask really slid off. I didn’t even know what to look for or what a narc was until I had my daughter and hit like 24 years old.
And my daughter’s father is a true narcissist. He fits the criteria to a T and when I look back at everything with new found knowledge I can recognize some of the earlier signs I missed. After him when I dated and had relationships I knew what to look for an to run at the first signs of abuse.
At 25 I again was in a relationship for 6 months with an older man and it was great. I thought I was in love with him. Valentine’s Day we went on a beautiful trip to NYC. Things were going great until he got jealous over nothing later that night on Valentine’s Day and started being abusive. He even threatened to leave me in NYC. I forgave him pretended shit was cool and when we got back home I was done with him. It didn’t matter if I loved him I was not being abused again.
Yes, it's the gradual slow progression part. They test the waters to see what you'll put up with then when they know you are invested in them, that's when they amp up the abuse, after you're trapped with them.
I'm so proud of you for walking. You courageous babe❤❤
My friends experiences with their baby fathers and husbands has always been a huge lesson for me and the reason I have always been so cautious about getting pregnant!
I used to think most of these stories were just online till it happened to one of my friends that just got married last year in August. The pain her ex husband put her through after having 3 kids at 25 is unmatched. I broke down after she told me everything. This is real life and most women should stop ignoring the red flags. It’s crazy out here. I can’t really relate with these stories cuz I keep my legs closed and I start smelling those red flags a mile away. I immediately break up with them when I realize they aren’t good for me or they might be terrible husbands or fathers. It’s time to put your feet down and choose wisely because most of these men are unhinged!
Wise words. Watch from a distance and run!
There’s demonic spirits operating in them it’s better to be single
Priscilla you are doing god's work. Don't let anyone tell you that you are wrong for sharing this CRITICAL information with young woman. The people who want to silence you are likely either the toxic men who benefit from ignorance, or women who are complacent with the toxic abuse - and everyone knows misery loves company!
Thank you ❤️
OK period!
so true, that's literally the only reason someone would have an issue
I do wonder what goes through women’s heads when they abandon everyone they knew FIRST over a man? Like did he talk bad on your family and friends….. did you allow him to or? NOTHING they did was questionable in your experience ever? Genuine question.
My best friend of 6 years did this.
Some women are just so desperate for any male affection/validation they will gladly collapse their entire lives just to have him
It’s not that he talked bad about friends and family, it’s that when they see what the man is doing to you, you side with the man and bc you are so blinded, you’d rather avoid them than hear the truth.
Well when I first met him I really liked him. I was obsessed with him and wanted to be with him. Everyone else around me ceased to be interesting anymore. He was all I could focus on. Now I’m more into myself and my own journey. I realized that my friends weren’t really my friends.
@@heartjewelry-hh1nz sounds like you weren't much of a friend either if you ditched them so easily
That's why I end up not feeling sorry for the woman (or man) who abandoned everyone, NGL, especially if they had ride or dies who tried to warn them. Like, you willfully ignored people trying to help you. If someone does that to me, and they have, I try one more time, but if you don't want me around because you love the misery, well, I'm not about to be miserable too. I have other friends, and I have to live my life.
I agree to a point. At some point you have to take accountability and realize that man is dragging you down and get out. Also stop getting in relationships because you are lonely and obsessed with the thought of love.
Honestly this is what’s causing women problems! They’ve let the patriarchy (MEN) convince them that a relationship is a must and the end all and is natural when it’s not. Not everyone will get into a relationship when most men aren’t even supposed to get picked that’s just nature. Live your life. That’s what you’re here to do not obsess over men. Also rethink where your idea of “love” came from. Most of it was from movies and shows and Disney not what you’ve seen in real life.
Girlfriend At 15:27 Needs To Kindly Stfu With The Victim Blaming - MEN PRETEND WELL. In Many Of These Baby Mama Stories I Hear How They Were Friends For YEARS With The Dudes Before Having Kids && That's When Things Went Downhill From There. You Can Have Great Vetting Skills, A Strong Sense Of Discernment && STILL Not Be Able To Sniff Out A Sociopath/Psychopath.
Exactly!!! these men CHANGE once they get you trapped (baby, move in together, married , etc)
And now we all know better…. Yet there’s still women out here defending and chasing men. We can’t just continually say men are crap and they pretend yet continue to choose men, have children with men, marry men, etc….. really men are crap and y’all are still dealing with them? What sympathy are you expecting when we all know men are fake?
@Enriquez2222 it's not about knowing better- its about accepting the fact that men aren't capable of love period - they don't love and will never be able to because it's their nature
You're not a victim though and men are NOT the main character. Weren't yall just talking smack on the other videos with reesa teesa and how weak she was. So keep that same energy when it gets close to home. 😂😂😂😂
@@chayo4537 You're The Kind Of Loser To Leave Your Instigating Two Cents Under Numerous People's Comments Because It's The Only Way You Know How To Get A Woman To Interact With You - Log Off && Get An Actual Life 🤣🤣🤣
Our Asian parents won’t allow us to have bf gf til after college
That's why you guys have identity crises 😂😂😂
@@chayo4537better than unemployed😂😂😂
Good!!
To the lady in black. I understand where she is talking about, but she sounds like a pick me and repeating the crap men come up with. Where she got lost is these men will put on a show and tell the woman everything he's going to do. Show he cares, will go baby shopping, help pick out names all that. When baby shows up, he switches up.
Regarding the last woman, I don't agree with the whole deliberately choosing struggle so you can complain about a man; however, I do agree with the part that women need to also take accountability for their actions. If he didn't treat you well then why are you still sticking around why get pregnant by him and somehow expect him to be different? He already showed you who he was. Believe those actions the first time.
So why are people shocked when women off their children? 🤔 I mean shouldn't we all know the outcome of men abandoning or harming the mother of their children?
Wow this makes you wanna stay single til the good lord call you home fck dat shit
😂
Don’t choose at all. Just stop bothering and do you.
Hate to say it but I've never see a awful father that didn't have signs prior. 15:06
Same
Prioritize SELF! Save, meditate/pray and see the world!
My first experience with a guy completely broke me at the time. Emotionally mentally and physically drained and unwell. I couldn't even function properly nor get out of bed. Thankfully, i found an amazing book that reminded me of my strength and power, and i found myself again. I remember the lockdown separated us and we were in two different continents at the time. I am sooo grateful because that was the only way i was able to leave that nutcase. Purely an energy vampire and now he has found a new victim, hope she wakes up soon. Nowadays, i observe and do not get too attached until i decide who i will marry. I have noticed they try to rush everything so they can hide their true colours which is ridiculous, i never fall for it anymore, the love bombing/gaslighting. I put myself first always!!Never put a man first ladies, some of them are truly crazy!
I am in therapy during to mental and emotional abuse- I have a long 8 weeks to go ❤ and I wish you healing and peace
10:32 seriously stop rewarding these dudes with children. Please stop , her story is disheartening.😢
15:33 absolutely it’s called trauma bonding.
16:38 you stop all of that only for him to cheat on you with the person who has everything he told you not to have. It’s wild and nefarious.
Sounds like a narcissist alright. The switch up once they marry you or get you pregnant is insane. And they will be shitty on your bday or not make it special at all and always say “You wonder why” to try and act like you’re so unworthy of a nice bday because there’s so much wrong with you.
My ex destroyed me while I was carrying our son. He inflicted to much evil on me I still can’t wrap my mind around it.
Or move in with you. Mine was within 10 days...the day I came home from surgery...
Don't try to wrap your mind around it cuz you're trying to understand a seed of wickedness. Let it go and move forward and leave the dusty in the dust.
I'm not sorry: There is no switch up. This isn't to give them a pass because I LOATHE narcs. But there is NO switch-up. What happens is that people tend to ignore red flags until something so life-changing happens that the small red flags they'd always been ignoring join hands and show you the big red one that was always forming in the background.
There are always breadcrumbs, and until people realize that, they'll keep ignoring them and keep ending up in this situation.
People don't factor in the biggest part: time. All people change with time. Experiences from over time change people permanently. You can't predict if a good man will continue to be honest, or just good at lying.
Thank you !!! They change , they dont be the same like they were in the beginning
Yeah so true, but investing in a man is a choice…. We’ve seen the results of women investing in men, why do y’all keep testing reality when it’s already shown you what’s up?
Exactly 💯
@@Enriquez2222 because sunk cost fallacy is a bitch most people don't know exist and they have been conditioned to weather the storm. It's unfortunate, but it's how some brains are wired.
@@rinabeauty7614right. The man you marry won't be the same one you divorce.
First of all, you are doing a great job and you don't need to explain yourself and the purpose of your chanel to anyone. If they don't agree they can keep it moving, we won't keep the horrifying stories and experiences of several women just to massage the ego of people who believe "not all men" blah blah. Anyway, great video ❤️
Thanks for that! It’s encouraging ❤️
@@Priscilla_Boyeyeah it's crazy that you have to give a long disclaimer as though we don't see these deadbeat males running around
At some point we gotta take accountability and see the red flags before and during the relationship BEFORE it comes to that.
It's as though you judgy aunties don't have ears. What part of PEOPLE LIE AND PEOPLE CHANGE do you not understand? How is your comment helpful? These women have been brave enough to share their stories, trying to help young women, and here you come. It's so goofy.
These men are pretending to be good guys in the beginning to trap her. Once we know this then we shouldn't have kids or marry.
Some men manipulate women because they prey on women with self esteem or vulnerabilities so a lot of time you don't see it until it's too late
@@peachesandpoets Exactly 💯 this is called victim shaming
Stop victim shaming because we all been manipulated by men at some point in time furthering Queen P stance that men are incapable of love and they're out here damaging and self sabotaging women and their lives !
The more I see these videos the more I am scared I'll never have love or a family.
So what? Is that your goal and purpose in life. ?
@@chayo4537 Natural Human Beings Want Love At The Bare Minimum, If Not A Family. But As A Red Piller You're Not Normal - Sooooo Can't Expect Much Out Of You. Just Look At You, Commenting On Like Ten Women's Comments Just To Feel Like You're Someone. 🤡
@@chayo4537 did I say it was tf?!
I dont want to have kids. I want a life partner. I still have hope that I will find a good man. I just don't want kids!!
Keep your standards and boundaries. Expand your options and stay true to yourself so that you avoid the nonsense. Just don't idolize being in a relationship and keep loving you. If it happens, good. If it doesn't, still be good.
This is why im so quick to walk away
Most of these guys do hate women. I could relate to the second lady who's ex "Mr ruined my life".
I personally dated someone who didn't like me. He would say with his mouth he loves me but his actions showed that he DID NOT LIKE ME!!! I don't think you have ever felt pain like that. These men are wild. Narcissism and red flags should be subjects taught in school. It's peak in these streets.
I understand you fully on the part that he did not LIKE YOUI went through it with my ex ! That’s the worse feeling and pain I wouldn’t wish anybody to go through.. these narcs are the devil in the flesh seriously!!!
@@Verolv honestly it's hard to believe they are human with feelings.
We gotta ask ourselves why do we throw away our souls to be with the men
because your chemicals draw you to us, sadly the worse we are the more we have that magnetic pull.
I'm so glad I don't deal with them as they make me sick
@@h8h215stop coping.
If I told you how my childs father trapped me you'd never believe me....he did what he did the way he did to make sure no one would believe me and alot of them do that and then start smear campaigns
I think it’s so important to acknowledge that in this patriarchal society, women are raised to serve and constantly change themselves to make others happy. That the only way to be happy is if you’re with a guy. Whereas men are raised to believe that they have the right to be entitled and demand what they want, especially from women, and have zero consequences for their toxic and harmful behavior.
women are not raised to serve at all what are you talking about? tell me what your wifely duties are and how to keep a man if you have been raised this way, feminism is the idea that women dont need to serve that you can do everything a man can which also includes being a man which is why "successful" women get ignored in the dating scene, women are not asked to change themselves, you being you is fine enough, a woman being submissive and a man taking the lead doesnt mean the women is to do his bidding, you both have roles to play and unfair treatment is simply that, unfair and should be addressed.
when you say men demand with no consequence what do you mean? if i say i want a feminine wife who is submissive and cooperative is this what your talking about? demanding these preferences?
@@h8h215where’s your wife right now?
@@nnn9854 my girlfriend is getting her hair done ready for tonight, we are staying at a hotel having a murder mystery weekend, should be fun, why?
This is why it’s so important to make sure that you love yourself and that you’re protecting your boundaries and your peace and that you always have the willingness to go no matter who it is or what situation you are in
I don't even want to think where I'd be if not for meeting my ex. I thought I knew better,I thought abuse like that doesn't happen in "good families", I thought I'm too strong to break,too good to fall...I was wrong and I don't think I'll ever be the same. I don't even recognise who I was before and I don't want to remember the person I turned into when I was with him. Shared madness..
I feel like my ex did a great job of screwing up my life. Our only child is profoundly disabled and I was left to rear my son alone. I shouldn't have had to do that alone. So yes, being with a narcissist and abusive guy can ruin your life. He abandoned us and his son so yes, you canhaveyour life altered in a bad way if with a person who is reckless with life choices.
When I use to date Aholes, I refused to get off birth control. After this video I was so right. My man now is so nice, and his family is nice. Wait it out, watch your back. The good man is coming trust.
15:00 i do not think people have kids ON PURPOSE for an excuse, that is ridiculous. but women definitely use their kids and crappy husband/boyfriend as an excuse to be a crappy friend and excuse their crappy husband's behavior. people use their kids as an excuse to get away with lots of things but it's an afterthought. most women genuinely believe their children's fathers will change, and lots of men think they will be able to change too. but most do not change.
I can't believe the people who were getting pregnant during the pandemic. Are yall nuts? 🤣
They don't care a damn those ones 😂😂😂😂
Women that have NEVER dealt with a narcissist i need them to shut up. I was with a narcissist before I no longer am its been years so i understand these other women we live WE LEARN and what ive learned is not to be so quick to judge or put myself on a high horse BECAUSE IVE LEARNED, so "Grace" is what i give to these other women it takes months and often times YEARS to recover from narcissistic abuse. If you've been fortunate enough to have never dealt with one BE GRATEFUL
Listen! I lost my whole self, went through a nervous breakdown and am just getting to even 10 years later. It's been in the last 3-4 years that I decided that I would truly forgive and not do him bodily harm. My body is still suffering the effects of being under all that stress for so long. Trusting people because of him has proven to be difficult, male or female.
The second clip. What was she expecting from a black male. Like.....we know enough about them by now to NOT want to do anything with them.
Ikr
Girl….💯💯💯
She's a young who couldn't have known better. Remember that the Black Women Empowerment ( de-centering men, anti-pickme etc) is very recent. Some of us that are older, and started the decentering earlier, were in the minority and shouldn't look down upon the one who didn't know better.
@cosmosadorabilis7677 it has been happening for generationsss.... what do you mean she didn't know better.
@@giselle4270 because it has happened for generations, but was accepted,, she didn't know better.
I feel so terrible for any of the women that have to deal with fuckery while children are involved. I don't have any myself but I imagine that would make it hurt so much more.
Him: This year has been hell for me
Her: 😐 ( childbirth is a cause of death and post partum is the grim reaper, stalking you and you have to actively fight your own mind!!!) 😔
Most men are viruses 🤷🏾
I'll never rely on a male that I didn't give birth to!
I have trained my sons to protect my life AND YOURS WITH THEIR LIFE. I just hope they never have to 🙏🏾
Yet the irony is that many women are seen as toxic who oppress men but don't acknowledge how toxic men are bad. There was a TikTok clip from one of your previous videos where a TikToker exposed toxic men which was refreshing to see 😃
Yes choose better….CHOOSING YOURSELF is the best choice🥰
I’m living the single life forever🎶🎼🎵🎹
Same too many manipulators , fakes, and abuse out here
I stand 10 toes down men aren't capable of love just manipulating women and many of them are narcissistics
Same here ❤❤, peaceful
@12:55 I totally agree with this because from the time my ex told me to abort my baby, I knew he wasn’t gonna be there for him. Nothing he said after his son was born meant anything to me once he told me to get an abortion, so I never went after him for child support. I never really begged him to take or be with his child. I already knew he wasn’t gonna be there, but I was also a willing participant in the relationship and I’m not gonna, not take care of my responsibilities. From that moment on, I knew it was just me and my son. 🤷🏾♀️
After I left a toxic relationship 3 years ago, I am living my best life. The biggest thing is my peace, my life is peaceful now and I will never give that up for no man!!
Just ended a toxic friendship with a guy he needs therapy they will f your life up and destroy you mentally / emotionally as the abuse lingers
True story, chose a man as a youngin (family wasnt loving or supportive, the regular story) and i probably will never be where i want to be
Edit : He went to "celebrate" the birth of our daughter the night I left the hospital with his friends
This is my life. I'm now in it too far. Verbally abused and treated like a servant. The best part of my life is my relationship with God and my children. Young ladies listen. I was on tract to become a doctor or pharmacist and my narcissistic bf told me to choose him or career. I'm now married to bf with 4 children and no career. He constantly belittles me and I cry everyday. I'm so sad and unloved. My grandfather warned me too. He saw the trauma in him from losing a brother and told me he would never love because of that trauma. He was so right.
Everyone wants to blame the victims of patriarchal social constructions. Let us lift up the victims instead of kicking them when they are down!
They dont care they dont care they dont care ladies remember to care for you and say hell no
Yes my mom is a testimony and is constantly telling me the same things when she sees me making similar mistakes to her. I used to think she was over exaggerating but really it was to look out for my best interest and to not see her daughter go down the same path. Now my daughter will be able to grow up with a loving and healed mama who is going after her dreams, not being dragged through the mud. Breaking generational curses! Thank God for these women ❤
Umm... Just a question... After centuries of the same game, why are we falling for the same tricks??? Bad men, or bad women... The tropes are repeated through out the world in history. So are the tactics, and theories, and alot of other stuff. Book's upon books are written through out history and we can't come out of the cycle of negativity (or attributes there of) ... The last young lady was on point... We know the outcome of dealing in ignorance, so why deal in it?
You speak out of ignorance.
Stop victim shaming or blaming the victims to abuse
Because it's comfortable or we think it won't happen to us. Sad, but true.
Glad you admit men are full of tricks. I bet you tricked the world into believing that Eve ate the apple, even though God has continued to punish men since the beginning and blessed women with the ability to create and birth life .
Because when you’re raised by abusers you think it’s normal. When you’re raised by good people, you can’t believe people are like this. People have to be educated by their families or themselves to see through these behaviors. Stop blaming victims. Start holding abusers responsible for their abuse!
Meet a guy while in college and ended up dropping out because I kept missing class to be with him. Fast forward met my child's father tried going back to school but was so stressed and distracted with him that I never ended up finishing. Stayed with him 6 years. When I left he was admitted into the hospital for attempted suicide ( tried jumping off building). After that I tried with other guys and was always left hurt and disappointed. Men have literally traumatized me. I'm 33 and it's finally clicking. I plan to be single forever or a very long time.
You didn't ask for my opinion at all, but from personal experience we focus our attention on what we prioritize AND we choose our partners. Not saying these men weren't bad, but I am saying your focus twice being on a man above all else maybe something you should investigate...personally.
Is there childhood trauma creating the need for a man? daddy issues? Need for security? Some men suck, but if our choices in general turn us away from what will better our lives, then that choice is ours.
Just a thought, but therapy really helps to unload alot of that, especially if we are raising young men. We don't want to inadvertently pass our traumas onto our children.
@@theseeker4700 Thank you. I definitely have a lot of healing to do. My childhood wasn't terrible but my parents were definitely emotionally neglectful. I believe that's were everything started. My choices in men and what I've tolerated had a lot to do with how I felt about myself.
There is plenty of birth control out here 🤦♀️
Ladies, stop having babies with dudes y'all barley know. Just because you're dating a guy doesn't mean you have to have a baby by him!! Stop setting yourself up to struggle as a single mom.
You need to make a video on men not wanting to work and depends on the woman for everything. My friend is in this situation right now . I think it’s crazy that she works more than 40 hours a week to give her whole paycheck to her boyfriend…smh
Tf
This is why I stand on not having a man’s baby until he shows you consistently for YEARS that he’s there for you, and always have your own solid support system before having a baby 😭
Nothing to be upset about, that makes perfect sence, i would go one step further and say stop having s3x with men so damn early and freely, 2nd place "s3x only no kids no commitment" is not a punishment for men but a luxury, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free.
Think ladies, i believe you can do it just show restraint.
Edit: im a man 37 and have enjoyed the hookup culture so far, have you?
Whew... sounds like the thing I married. I literally have a countdown to when I'm divorcing him 🙃
I gave up my life to build a life with the father of my children.
I met him 2008. I regret it.
I have 3 children and have been unemployed for 12 yrs.
He left his job to start a side hustle during the pandemics.
We have been struggling and not having food in the house.
On Tuesday the 13th I was turning 40. I didn't get a happy birthday nor even a cake.
Depression has been kicking me. I cant even think straight.
I wish i had a family to go back to and start over. My mother passed away during covid.
Hugs and prayers these men something else .. hope things are better now not worth it to have kids with them
Sorry you're going through this honey recovering from abuse
Thank you guy's. Nothing has changed and I'm on antidepressants and in therapy. I hope thing's work out
@aahmieezlane1740 whatever you choose to do I pray for your healing 🙏🏽 🧡
@helena3631 Yes it is I'm so glad I decentered them and can't have anymore kids they will make your life a living hell
Please don't change your channel because of the haters. You're going to have haters no matter what content you create. Your 30k+ followers on THIS channel want and appreciate your videos so keep 'em coming.
As a woman who's life was derailed by a man let me just clarify 2 things to help some young lady out there.
1. I didn't choose a bad bf to have a child with. a) He messed with my contraceptive pill, thats how I got pregnant b) he took such good care of me for 2 whole years before I evem fell pregnant so yes I automatically assumed he would care for his child because he took care of a gf.
2. When a man love bombs you for a year and suddenly the compliments become insult I think the young ladies call it negging. You will change because you are accustom to being love bombed and it's addictive, if this is hard for you to understand thank your God for this. He said it "I love how your natural skin looks, don't put on foundation and show your pimple free skin" or "you're so pretty in a dress/skirt, lets buy you more skirts" and that gradually grows into "that jean makes your bum look weird/ your legs have a weird shape hey" this is not at the beginning this is after you are thoroughly conditioned and addicted to the love bombing
YEEEEEEESSSSSSS! They break you down mentally after they've hooked you 😞
Most men, not some and not all but most men.
Moved out at 15 because home wasn’t safe, moved in with my boyfriend (first love) but he was abusive too, badly. That relationship robbed me of the fun and freedom of my late teens, the after effects of that trauma bled into the rest of my life and took years of therapy to overcome. Glad to be on the other side of it 🙏🏻
Incase they wanna bring up bible scriptures!
The bible said a woman with many children is feeble but i dont hear no one tlking about it😂 instead they say god said you should multiply ! As if they aint more than children to be multiplied hell nooooo get away from me
Protect your womb and get educated! Get the things you want in life first…travel and see the world……
The story of the lady with the baby… she did it to herself. She got hit with the okie doke! He gave her that baby as revenge so he can have access to torture her. Ladies keep your knees locked and wombs closed.never go back to what you left or what left you
Well they can knock you up for one. And then you end up with a little bastard clone of the bastard father. Sorry but it's true.
Facts 💯
That poor woman that had a kid with the guy that did not love her. I finally had a kid last year and my husband has been nothing but supportive and he loves the baby as much as I do. There were still moments when it was hard. I can't imagine doing that with someone who doesn't support you and is so callous. Protect yourself.
that last woman is a pickme. cause who has children just to talk bad about men?
Some people don’t have empathy for others and their situation until it happens to them.
Yeah, it was a really helpful video until that moment. I felt nauseous hearing what she said. I usually just stop watching when people like that pop up because it feels like more abuse. I’m so done with that.
Most men have a fake persona in the beginning. They literally do this so that he can trap her into motherhood and marriage then boom he shows his true colors.
@@shaolinqueen3684Exactly!
@shaolinqueen3684 Narcissistic abuse and narcissism personality is real
I see a lot of people calling the woman in the black shirt a pick me. I have to disagree. I really don't like that some women are okay with being coddled like an infant. If I make a mistake, it's my mistake. We need to stop blaming men for everything. People treat you how you let them. I would never allow a man to disrespect me. I can not believe the things women put up with. You do one thing wrong and I'm done. He's an adult. Let him go if he doesn't act right. And we're adults as well, don't stand by him and cry about it and say you can't leave. If he isn't holding you captive, you can leave.
I feel like I lose interest as much as I gain it. And my dating history is proof, each person has been a thankyou next, and they know theyll lose me how they got me.
That's good I'm'm so happy we learning detachment
Red bonnet i tapped out as soon as you said “my sons father”-already knew where this was goin🙄
Here's the trick ladies, decenter men.
💯 This is so you have take some much focus off men.
12:55 this lady is spitting facts
The red flags are always there you can’t ignore what God is showing you. It’s sooo important to accept Jesus as your lord and savior and be filled with the Holy Spirit the give of discernment and discerning of spirits will save your life!!!
The girl with the red bonnet said the man ruined her life. Didnt she say she was in a relationship when she had this fling. That would mean she played a part in what happened to her. Am I wrong?
She said they weren’t together anymore. However, she did have something with him before she was in the last relationship. He did what he did on purpose. They don’t take it well, when they’re not your first choice.
Im convinced post partum depression is something more about not having support versus just having a baby. Science knows lack of supportive partner can contribute to it but I am convinced its absolutely from lack of support.