7 Signs You're NOT Ready for Marriage!
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- Do you think you are ready for marriage? Think again. In this video I share 7 signs that you may not be ready for marriage as a single person. However, married people should listen in as well because these same 7 things can be hindrances in your own marriage as well. If you want to add any to this list, leave them in the comment section below. Enjoy!
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Hey hey hey! I want your marriage or future marriage to thrive! So, I hope these 7 things will help you assess 1) if you're ready for marriage and 2) the current state of your own marriage if you are married and you see these 7 things happening in your marriage. Enjoy and I love y'all!
Thanks for the message sir. It's always a blessing hearing from you
😯 Omg! a message we need to hear 👂 🙏🏽God bless this ministry 🎁
Hey Allen,
I've been watching your videos for several months. I've been blessed and encouraged many times. Had no idea you went to DTS... I'm watching a video you did at DTS about surviving as a student. Too cool. God bless!
Josh Pendley yes indeed. I’m a proud graduate!
📝 Great pointers for people period 💌
Ladies seek God and have a relationship with the Lord first!
Everyone needs to do this women and men equally.
Vincent H yes
Yes ...wholeness and letting everything glorify God ...
Yes ma'am
amen
Me and my wife have been married for over a year now. We both weren't saved till 7 months ago. My wife got into the bible and started encouraging me to join her so I did, I got saved shortly after her and have never been happier!!! We noticed our marriage have been blessed tremendously!!! Praise the lord jesus christ!!!
Eli Wilsone I cant seem to encourage mines. We both were raised the same far as believing in Jesus Christ. Now he’s asking a bunch of questions about him and have A lot doubts. I don’t want to force nothing down his throat but it does bother me and we’ve had this conversation. I’ve been into the Bible since I was little.
That's absolutely dope! Praise Jesus!
Hallelujah
Congratulations on spiritual birth♥️
Praise God
God taught me that when you marry someone you have to die to self. We're suppose to serve one another in a marriage. So if you have a selfish mentality like you said, then it won't work.
Amen to that Elegant Anne! I agree. Thanks for sharing that. God bless!
I see you on every Christian video.
Jay Freeman That’s pretty cool
So true, Elegant Anne. God bless you.
@@jayfreeman5117 ♥️
(Spoiler/shortcut to each point)
0:55 You struggle to completely give up your independence
3:03 You are an unhappy single looking for marriage to make you happy
4:43 You have signs of emotional immaturity
6:28 You have unresolved baggage that you refuse to deal with
7:53 You're not willing to be totally selfless and serving expecting nothing in return
9:48 You believe that if things get tough there is a way out of this marriage
10:32 You don't understand that the purpose of marriage is for the couple to have a purpose
Thanks for posting the timelines but I this is one of those videos that you actually have to watch it all to get the message. Every point and explanation is very relevant to any sort of relationship. Stay blessed
@@trisha2love Sure I agree with your comment, my comment was done in case someone would like to come back over some points if they feel like they missed something and rewatch it or maybe want to write the verses quoted for a specific part in a book (or somewhere else) for themselves. I can remove it in case it is not wise to keep it tho, please let me know. Grace be with you as well :)
@@FTBTH-cam no don't delete it pls as it is a good reference like you mentioned. Thanks for your kind reply.
@@trisha2love Okay I will keep it then, thank you as well and peace be with you from our Lord! :)
FTB Thank you for this. I too was thinking that this would be helpful when replaying the parts that fascinated us the most 💕
People can make an idol out wanting to be in a relationship.
This is why I flipped this thoughts and said God if it is your will for me to be married, then let it be so. I desire marriage for a purpose not to prove to anyone I’m capable of marriage. I want God to use my marriage as a stage to Glorify him.
@@truthandbeautyco You’re spot on about that!
True!
AMEN! ( cogic voice)
I agree!!!!!
Is it me or, does he kinda resemble Denzel?🤔
I clicked on this video solely to see who else thought this 😂
He does!!
Bruhhhh!!!
😂🤣😂🤣😫
He kind of resembles Densely.
I believe God in his wisdom knows when we are ready, even if we think we are ready or not for marriage.
FEMA Camps Guillotines RFID Chips NWO Ameen
Why do you believe that? And what are you expecting people to do with this information?
Ofcourse but you can delay God in your attitude. Preparation is the best before the marraige arrives..
FEMA Camps Guillotines RFID Chips NWO I agree 💯
I'm ready 😭 trusting Gods timing
Happy to report that 1 year later and I’m getting married in April!
anthony James
Amen seek first the kingdom and and His righteousness.
Lisa Love Ministries I think about that verse almost daily and still somehow get caught up in focusing on other things. Thanks for the reminder!
God is faithful..
Amen !
Amen am olso trusting in God
Many do not think about these, they get married to prove a point to family and friends that they are capable of getting married.
Exactly 💯
i feel this a lil . i havent had many relationships in my life and now i am with someone and it seems to go very well everyone expects us to still break up. but i need to realize i am in no hurry. i have recognized points here he mentioned that i am strong at but also some i am weak still at, possibly because i am still young. cant believe i'm already 3 years older than my mom was when she married ... Yikes
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 wow you nailed it! So true and I’ve seen so many of my friends do this. I am content being single and being with God.
That was me and I ended in a divorce.. Lol. Thank you Jesus for the saving grace. Eternally grateful.
So true, I thought I was the only one. It's tempting for me personally to do this as a guy, especially since most of my friends and family see me as an introvert (which I am)/one who is too shy to take bold action, but I'm learning and making progress in being satisfied first and always in God alone, my pure joy and satisfaction
Lord have mercy, all 7 of these things stepped on my toes. I have work to do before I even CONSIDER getting married. Prayers are needed
We all have work to do, before and after we get married. Now that you know taking the first step will . be so much easier.
Am here
🤣🤣🤣me too.
Praying for u🙏🙏🙏🙏
I was just thinking and complaining about being single and alone :( thanks to this vid i noticed my faults. Praise the Lord and thanks for posting this video.
Complaining about being alone and single is a desire that you want to be with someone like having a wife. Psalm 37:4 Be content with yourself and God will give you the desire of your heart which is to have a wife like having a partner and being with someone. All you have to do is ask him for a wife and he will provide and give it to you but remember it's on God's time. His timing is perfect.
Messerschmitt ME-109 ... the word gives 2 descriptions of singleness... it says it’s a gift and a blessing ... we have to be a whole person first
Chuy I never thought of it that way before. That’s really interesting, thank you!
Kahlan Isabella316 *37:4
The key word is being content with yourself . Being single is not a disease.
Right on time Allen! I’ve been in denial for awhile about this. I’d yearn to be married like everyone around me, when deep down both God and I know I’m not ready 🙄😭
Wow that is good self-awareness. You definitely do not want to self-sabotage a potential good relationship.
Amen Sista!!🙌🏾
You can hit me up
Are you ready yet? I am also in the waiting room and seems I have been here for a while 😮
This helps me as a single woman wanting a husband. Thank you.
Hello there
I agree. I dont think we shld be single and waiting. I think we should be single and LIVING. Doing life and enjoying urself simply because you SHOULD be. Not because you're preoccupying urself until u get married. Constantly anticipating, waiting, and thinking about marriage creates desperation and anxiety. This will cause u to pick the wrong person and destroy even a good relationship.
Good thoughts. Exactly, I am not waiting in that sense..I am living now the life God has given me.
God knows when I am ready for marriage. I am just enjoying my single life now.
Well said. I just took 5 steps back! Whoa! Not ready!
I learned I was making an idol out of marriage.
I was doing the same thing.
i remember when my eyes were opened to how many things we so easily make idols out of. i feel like i have been sort of doing the same by imagining things will be easier or happier after marriage. but instead i just need to continue working towards happiness in this moment of my life the same way i worked when i was single. i worked on myself and now i work with my relationship to make it strong, so that the marriage will have a strong beginning.
Good job being honest
That is easy to do, unfortunately.
You know, I don't understand why it's idolatrous to want to be married, because when God made man, ( even with all the pets in the Garden of Eden) He saw it was not good for man to be alone. So, he made him a woman. It's part of our make-up to want to share a life.
Thank you! I stayed with my ex for too long and he did all these things. I am focusing on my relationship with God now and wanting a real God centered marriage one day.
It will come Marisa. Just coming off being broken up from my Fiancé. He has something and someone for us.
Point no 6
I don't like the idea of having to be responsible for someone else's debt, especially after I've worked hard to get mine down. If I ever want marriage, I'll ask God for a financially stable partner.
Right. Thats a good prayer to pray.
@Beloved of Jesus pray you are granted wisdom not for specific attributes because only the Lord knows his will for your life
i mean ideally if your values include low debt and/or good credit then hopefully the partner god blesses you with will also hold those values. i think the main thing is when you are married and are one, you both are essentially paying all of the same bills, which will include any debt from either side. i dont personally expect my so to help take care of my school debt (which is actually quite low in today's standards) but i already know that he is willing to help me with it, and we arent even at the point where he will need to yet (not married yet nor am i finished with school) and i also know that his debt is low and credit is good. we hold the same values of making sure we pay off the debt we do accrue and only spend what we know we can afford. instead of worrying over what kind of debt a potential so will have, i think it is best to just pray for the one god wills for you to be with, because he knows best no matter what that may end up being.
So, what you're saying is, only a person with good credit can make you happy? Wow! That's a very shallow way of thinking. What I'm hearing, you are telling God, to give you what you want, and not who he has for you, is that correct? What if what you want isn't what's best for you? In my experience, everytime a person tells God what they want, it's never good for them. If it was, you would have it. All I can say is, becareful what you ask for! U just might get it..
@@rayetaylor2993 Thanks for the admonishment, one of the toughest things a lot of the young adult men in the churches around my area deal with is the idea that we need to be the "perfect" suitor before we can even so much as pursue women because of the worldly standards that seeped into the church. Seems like faith in God and godly qualities are being swept under the rug in terms of dating and marriage
I go through phases in this area. Sometimes I’m confident in my singleness then other times I feel like something is off. I never thought I’d be single for 14 years. God makes no mistakes but this is definitely a challenge.
Wow you are not alone. Being confident is a daily mindset shift. What is important is to know you worth in Christ and believing him.
It is, but I’ve noticed when I continually read the Bible, focus on the assignments God has given me, and study the scriptures. I’m thinking less about being alone or still single and more about God what is your will for my life today.
I can't speak for every one, but why is it so hard to find a spouse for people who are responsible, reasonable, etc.? I think it's because one or both will not ascribe to holy living. Rather, they do something, and when called on it, they say, no big deal, or lie about it. Is that really a Christian?
Michael Albertson I believe we all fall short of the glory. However, it’s when we start to not feel the conviction of the Holy Spirit that concern sets in.
14 years? Lol...I'm 52 and I've never been married. Fourteen years is nothing.
Sir I don't know who you are but God done used you to fix something I've seen in my relationship. God bless you sir
This guy isn't really ready. I've been aware of it for some time and can make no excuses. Hopefully God will help me in the areas I lack.
If He can do it for me, He can do it for you. God bless you. I'll say a prayer for you 🙏🏼
Allen you say that people who have these characteristics are not ready for marriage, but there are so many people who are like this that are married 🤷🏻♂️
Preach sister! The truth is, even in the Church, people are shallow. I agree with Allen’s argument that developing these qualities will lead to a more fulfilling, loving, and long-lasting marriage, but some people have an easier time attracting partners than others. The rise of dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, etc. have contributed to an increased emphasis on looks and other superficialities when choosing a partner. This is scriptural as well, because while God looks on the heart, Man looks on the outward appearance.
You could have an average looking person who would make a wonderful spouse and is godly as can be, but no one will give them the time of day because they aren’t “hot” or whatever.
On the flip-side, you have people who find each other physically attractive but are not spiritually or emotionally mature enough to handle a long-term commitment like marriage, and their relationships don’t last. If they do last, they aren’t healthy and are more a source of misery than joy.
I feel like so many married people’s advice sounds like: “just expect marriage to be crap, and make sure you love God a lot, cuz that’s the only way you’ll survive this drain of a person you’re stuck with forever.” I mostly agree with your points, but I still get that same vibe from this video.
I do appreciate how Word based your points are.
He doesn’t make marriage look desirable
It's because few want to live as God says. First evidence is when they won't forsake all others as the wedding vows say. Second is when one or both are so selfish that they only care about their happiness. Forsake all others, and see if your marriage works or not. Because if you don't, it won't. And put God first. Then only can He lead you both in the right way.
Brother Allen I love you 😊 what a great question I so needed to measure myself against this.
#1- I passed 😊💕
#2- I passed😊💕
#3-I passed 😊💕
#4-I passed 😊💕
#5- I passed 😊💕
#6- I passed 😊💕
#7- I PASSED
HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD HEAVENLY FATHER I pass I'm ready Lord I AM REAAADDDYYYYYY 😍🤗💗💗💗💗🙏🙏🙏🙏💜💜💜💜💜💜
Lolllll!!!!
@@Chrxssym lol 😄
Most of what was mentioned in this video was why my last relationship ended. Made me realize I wasn't ready to share my life with anyone. Since then I've been working on fixing those things and I can say I see things clearer now. Listen to him guys he knows what he's talking about 😁😁.
Ok so this video confirmed what I already knew, definitely not ready for marriage lol.
My parents were married 50+ years and my mom had a separate account, 401 k and PO Box for her own " worldly goods like clothes jewelry etc.
Im sure my dad knew but he always made sure All other bills were paid and I'm sure it was two becoming one as time went on. My Mom started working 10- years After my dad started a new and beneficial job together.
I wonder if they discussed this and decided that’s what they were going to do as part of budgeting. Curious.
I've been asking God for a wife for the longest time. I've cried, I've had many lonely days that have hurt to the point where I thought I was gonna end my life, but I've slowly realized that I'm not ready for a wife. I gotta be content and know God is working things out for the best. I will be married one day, but I need to work on me and my faith right now.
Humility is key
When u add to watch later because you’re only 16
Lol, it's never to early to prepare.
me too lol
This was awesome, great tips bc I'm getting married soon, Also I'm going to show this to my fiancee we're gonna watch it together. Thank you! 👍🏼✝️
Exactly same position as you :)
That's what I like to hear! Thanks for watching, Lena
I kind of don't want to share my life. I get lonely sometimes, but I have a hard time being accountable to another person. The sound of someone chewing or slurping too loudly can make me insane😟😟. If a person doesn't seem to have much to show after a lifetime, it makes me nervous. I would want to keep my secret rainy day stash. It's a lot of work and I'm too old. Thank you for the tips.
After this last engagement, we aren't ready for marriage. Hearing your points definitely confirmed...we weren't ready for marriage. I am now thankful to God for sparing me....thank you Jesus I did not marry this man!
Amen! I was in a similar situation. Thank you Lord for protecting me.
Same, our Father is faithful though it was painful at the time I thank Him
Very true...in my opinion one of the biggest reasons for people to have serious problems in marriage is the the strong desire to be independent. In marriage the man and woman are one...
Thank you.I'm on the right track.I pray that may God continue leading me.
Wow... This is amazing. Wish I had seen this before marriage. Been married for 3.5 years and it's been the hardest thing in my life. Learning a lot of these tips as we go. Really hard. Wish I had known before hand... Thanks for sharing.
Bruh I need to work on like 10/7 of these 🤣🔥💪🏽
🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Now this is a video worth watching more than once. Hide this one away in your storage for further review because this is life changing.
Am ready for marriage guys😂😂
The Holy spirit has broken all this attitudes out of my life Am single born again Christian woman
in God i trust
💪I can make it😂
Amen!!!
Awesome video and topic. Even married people need to watch this video too.
Thinking to myself this morning "Lisa do you really think you are ready for marriage"? Then your video! You betta Preach Allen!!!
It's always an encouragement to hear that a video has helped someone in their walk with Christ! Thanks so much for watching and for your comment, LY
There is so much wisdom and conviction in this video, I think the Lord has used this in my life to send me a necessary message. I see a lot of this in myself, and it is helping to change my perspective, thinking and attitude in this area. Thank you for sharing what God’s Word has to say, and God Bless!
I truly enjoyed this. I'm at a point in my life where I'm ready for marriage. Listening to what this powerful man of God stated, I'm ready. I've been in relationships where the individual's past has prevented them from moving forward. Having unforgiveness in our hearts due to something that happened in our past will prevent us from going forward. I refuse to live in the present with someone who can't let go of their past. Great video, man of God!
Thank you so much Brother Parr this message was just what I needed in my relationship!!! May God continue to bless your ministry!!! 👍
I was scared to watch this at first, but I realised that showed I wasn’t ready for marriage. Thank you for addressing the 7 points so clearly... especially the 7th point. May God give us wisdom, love and a teachable heart as we prepare for that which He has for us.
Thanks for this video Allen! It was very educational. I needed to see it.
You're welcome Mike Kirkland! Thanks so much!
I don’t like marriage and I never want to get married. I’m 18 and the only reason I thought about marriage was because I have a little bit of lust issues sometimes it’s hard to control. I JUST ASKED GOD yesterday SHOULD I GET MARRIED IN THE FUTURE to resolve my issues .....and know this YUP I’m happy because GOD answered me he said “NO MARRIAGE FOR YOU”😃😊 thank Jesus
Great topic
I shared with all the mentioned group.
Thx as always
Thanks for this video Allen! I needed this
All these things are great to think about. Wouldn't say people can't get married with one or two of these issues, you can work on these issues in marriage but so much better if you do it before.
This is such great advice! So many times we look for happiness in our partner when we need to find it in God! :) Great points!! Loved it!
Amen brother. This was definitely a good one.
I have a huge fear of marriage, so when I hear just the word marriage, it send chills down my spine, so I'd rather be single.
😧 just can't..
Samme
me too
Thank you for this video sir.. As a single person I am learning a lot from your videos.. Keep it up 👍 Glory to God for your life. ❤️
On point!!!
God Bless you, Bro Allen
Wonderful✨🙌🙏 Thank you for this. Another edifying video full of godly wisdom.
CONGRATS Brother Allen on reaching 270,000 subcribers! To God be the glory!☝️
I knew I was not ready for marriage. This sermon has identified the areas I need to work on whether I get married or not. Thank you Pastor Allen for your Godly wisdom. I look forward to your other videos.
No problem, glad I can help! Thanks so much for your support, Joann Byrd!
Another fantastic video, Mr. Parr! Thanks so much and God bless!
Once again you hit the nail on the head Allen, all the glory be to God. I was looking for answers as to why a recent relationship was not working out and the 2nd point you mentioned explained my situation to a tee. Praise the Lord Jesus Christ!
Number 7 wow!! The way you broke that down was excellent!
Sign #2 is speaking to me since I struggle with being content single but I must talk to God to help me with this. I struggle with change in my own life, but God is trying to help me. Sign #4 is speaking to me which God is seriously trying to help me with. I know what my purpose from God is. Thanks so much for this video! God still has work to do on me before He brings my husband.
Time to accept that I'm going to be a cat lady.
I hear ya! 😁😁
Looooool sis, I'm on my way to the pet store 😂😂😂😂
Me too
Lol
I’m getting a dog soon
This is so important, I am married and have two young children and we were both not ready in many ways. And now things are incredibly hard. There is always hope though, with God. Worship God, follow Him and be thankful for what He has given us. Great video.
Wow, it feels like youre talking to me in person! Thanks for another excellent video 👍🏼
Soooo, this popped up while my daughter & boyfriend are in within ear shot. They're talking about marriage & I can hear them commenting on this vid. Thank you Lord for your perfect timing!
You made great points in this video. Watching this video reminded me that, although I desire marriage, I am not ready for marriage. I really need to work on my emotional baggage and trauma from my past relationship before I even think about starting a relationship with someone.
Real strong stuff! Thank you!
You're welcome Connor Johnson! Thanks so much!
Thank you Pastor Allen for giving out such magnificent advice in this video!!!
Great video! I examine myself based on what you said. Although I am not ready for marriage, I can prepare for it. God is in control
Your a great teacher! ❤ Thanks for sharing that.I enjoy all you videos and they help me to try to do better.
I love this. I hear some people try to teach that people should get married as soon as they become 18 and even younger if allowed. Very rarely are people at that age ready for marriage because of all the points you made. We need to start teaching this in church and stop pushing for marriage so quickly and viewing it as an idol.
This is such a helpful guideline...puts things in perspective. Thank you
Very thought-provoking!
This video help answer my questions. At one point 10 years ago i thought i was ready for marriage but i really wasn't God showed me i was not. Im focusing on God and myself. Im learning, praying, studying the bible, healing, growing and God is preparing me one day i will be ready for my husband God ordain for me at the right place and time. Thank you God and allen great encouraging message now i understand more than i did before. God bless all.👏😁😊👍🙏
Thanks! The one on giving spiritually and may not get anything in return for seasons really helps me.
Thank you for this ... you have helped me cultivate so many new perspectives... I am ready ... i have had issues with anger and holding grudges ... now I’ve transitioned into refusing to carry baggage... God has hidden me and we have been on a slow dance... Pruning is a beautiful horror. I’ve had 3 engagements pulled away in painful ways and had to watch them marry not long after ... and it left me staggered and made me deviate from moving forward towards my purpose... God sat me down to reveal to me how He sees me ...now I have a internal peace that makes me respond instead of react.
Wow. This was very good and informative. Thank You 🙏. The GOD purpose was perfectly defined. Glory!
Thanks so much for watching and for your comment Wanda Wesley! God bless!
Really good! 💫 thank you soooooo much Allen
This is a really great video for those who want to be married☺
Thank you so much for watching! Your comment means a lot, Shantay Francis.
You're welcome, Sir ☺
Thank u for these teachings, they are alot of help for sure.
Love your videos. Extremely helpful! Concisely laid out. Thank you for your hard work!
This popped up on my timeline… this is so true … I agree with everything you said
Wonderful video! More to be spoken.
Thank you so much for watching! Your comment means a lot, Benjamin Ruckman.
I am not ready. Thanks!!
Why
On point!! As always! I love you and your wife’s story on Dating with purpose with Ashley Empowers.
I definitely ain’t ready! LOL! Great video my man! God Bless!
Amazing advice, thank you so much, Mister Parr! May God continue to use you ❤️
Yes you're absolutely right on all those points. Thanks a lot may God bless you
This was really good. Thanks.
Lol I’m really grateful for this list because I do about half of those signs. I’m rethinking.
I need you guy to pray for me I'm in a situation please help me and my family please in the name of Jesus
Right in TIME! I guess I got my understanding. Back to studying I go!
Great advice
Thank you. Very good wisdom.
Sir!!!! This gave me perspective. Getting married to be happy...that brought such clarity. Prior to getting divorced, my ex said he just wasn’t happy. Thank you
Great video! Amazing points much needed 🙏
This is such good advice. He really is blessed by God. His videos have been a big blessing to me. No matter what the subject is he ALWAYS gives good , Godly counsel to people.