Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
Okay! Despite the fact that I don't actually like you and I think you completely full of it just as much as the next bloke down the road and probably been on a diet of bologna sandwiches, Cocoa Puffs and piss and vinegar! Lolol!
Not to sound concieted but I'm a fairly attractive guy but my teeth are starting to take a rapid decline (meth.. cough) Makes me not want to smile as much. Any suggestions?
"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."
For the smile tip, you can be genuinely happy by detaching the people your meeting to what you experienced earlier that day. By genuinely being positive, you’ll be a lot happier. Also by being less judge mental too. Just because someone looks weird to you, doesn’t mean that person isn’t valuable and important just because you think they aren’t.
I'm sorry but this sentence doesn't make sense to me Stelliphina: "you can be genuinely happy by detaching the people your meeting to what you experienced earlier that day." ???????
My buddy told me about 6 years back that he respected how I go after what I want and achieve that. To this day that’s stuck with me. That’s how powerful words can be!
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
As a female with RBF, I’ve had my fair share of elderly men approach me and tell me to smile. After reading this book, I actually started walking around with a smile regardless of how my day is going. I also have tremendous anxiety surrounding public places and what other people are thinking, so I started making a point of complimenting people I make eye contact with and it has actually helped me to gain clients at work. If I’m already smiling, they just smile back and we don’t necessarily have to interact beyond that, but complimenting them makes me feel better and less anxious and I’ve made someone else smile and saved myself from getting irritated with a stranger. It’s a win/win.
Feeling exactly the same! Making an effort to genuinely compliment someone just makes you feel good about yourself and stops all these negative thoughts that you have in your head.
That... I'm going to try that. Maybe not 100% or all the time, but complimenting someone you made eye contact with sounds like something that, over time, would make you better able to adapt.
The one thing I learned and used the most throughout life is the listening part. I had noticed that unless directly asked about something specific, most people don't care about anything you have to say about yourself, they are just waiting for a turn to talk about themselves as well, and if you're honest with yourself you may admit that you don't care much about what they're saying either. If you want people to like you, let them talk and don't interrupt, just do little follow up questions or a nod at the right time to let them know you're listening. Absolutely everyone loves that.
What I love to do is remember specific things about each person I talk to, and then bring it up next time I meet them. It works especially well with stories and shows that you really do pay attention
Being interested in others instead of trying to seem interesting…that flicked a switch in my brain and honestly lifted a burden off my shoulders. I can definitely be interested in others. Thank you!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
If you want to be genuinely happy it is. But as this video explains, being fully authentic doesn't quite pay off in the social world. You have to put on a face as if everything is peaches and cream in your life rather than being able to relax your face and be as you normally would lol.
As a casino dealer, I can confirm that the things mentioned in this video will actually increase your tips. I was told towards the beginning of dealing poker “you should smile more, you look grumpy” by a player (a.k.a. Resting b*tch face). They were right. As I was new to dealing, I was concentrating and nervous which made me had a serious expression. Now when I approach the table to come in as the new dealer, I be sure to have a very slight smile (not a frown at least). Then when I sit down, I quickly glance for a split second at each player. If I make eye contact, I’ll give the slightest nod (almost like of recognition). If I do know their names, I will acknowledge them with a “hi John”. If someone has a cool shirt, hat, watch or luckily poker “charm” I’ll give them a “nice shirt!” nod. Last week a guy had a Motörhead shirt and I acknowledged it and then quietly sang a a line from “Ace of Spades” (one of their biggest songs). He laughed and said “great tune”. He ended up being my biggest tipper that round. People just want some sort of connection. Once they feel that, they are MUCH more generous when they have the chance to be.
The biggest takeaway is that for any of this to work you HAVE to be open to change. You can't just watch the video and get excited then carry on. You have to practice and form new habits. But the rewards will be worth it. Plant the seed, water it, and watch it grow.
Man, I just started watching you and you have massively changed my energy. I feel a lot more calm now. Especially after watching your letting go videos.
I never realized how impactful something as simple as remembering names could be until watching this. Thanks for sharing such practical and easy-to-implement advice!
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you" 🔥🔥
Introverts should be careful with "become interested, not interesting." As an introvert, I had a much harder time connecting with people before I started working on myself. Don't be obnoxious about it-read the room-but have something to share, because relationships are a two-way street: giving (interesting) and receiving (interested). Otherwise you're just a reporter, watching and asking questions.
This is true. And then you're gonna be left alone as the "listener". I noticed people like to talk so I listen, but they also just talk about themselves, not giving any chance for you to share something about yourself. So when I notice that it's a one way conversation, I try to open something about myself so I feel good and initiated/hinted that I should also be involved in the talking and not here to just listen. But there are people who talk and ask, these are the people I like to talk to
@@ViralVideos-pr2oi 😂 10 mins is long? For life-changing quality content? Try listening all the way through a 4 hour video by The Rational Male. THAT will change your life.
I never felt attracted to anyone who tried to impress me. In my mind I always thought, please dont waste your energy. I felt attracted to people I formed real connection, no pretence, no trying, who are honest and honest with their short comings too, who dont try to manipulate.
Clark, I love how you're comfortable shooting with only an empty background and at a close-up angle. Makes you feel authentic talking about this topic. (Just a random thought I had while watching the video.) First time for me here in your channel, but I can see you've been doing this for a while and putting in a lot of effort to be good at it. 🙌
Tip guys don’t everrrrr let nobody step over you nor disrespected , respect should be payed with genuine respect .Once you let someone disrespect you in anyway you devalued yourself it doesn’t mean talk shit or fight back but stand for what’s right and moved on from friends relationships strangers or even family sometimes. We are all individuals . Happy come within do what you love regardless of what it is .
Exactly. I'm seeing comments where people are being told to smile by others as if they owe them that. You are only giving that person power of you if you feel like you have to be a certain way to please them.
That book changed my life, I went from no one caring or remembering who I was at work to the person that people will go slightly out of their way in the morning to greet. It's all about effort and being genuine, the principles written in that book have become habits I do on a daily basis, subconsciously. I studied the book, took notes and wrote on a journal, and I often review my notes and the book from time to time.
Remember: Do not compare yourself with others. If you are happy with what you have with your hardwork then you are successful…. Our habit of comparing ourselves with others will really damage ourselves ( I had gone through it and gained nothing)… Concentrate on your hobbies and work; this will simply make you “Attractive”.
And then people will have another problem of I'm attractive, why aren't I getting some, it's the same mentality of having hope, hope has no action first-hand.
The crazy thing is that i remember trying to be "Interested" in someone but they nothing to be interested IN. I would ask about their interests, hobbies etc. And all they would basically say nothing like they didn't have any interests at all. So the conversation would end abruptly.
BRILLIANT ❣️ Especially, "Give people a fine reputation to live up to". Thank you, Clark. I thoroughly enjoyed the video, Clark.😁 (I really did like it!)
As someone with ADHD, I've always struggled with getting out of my own head. Unfortunately. I'm also very stubborn so I refused to accept it was adhd. Now that I'm 24 and friendless.. something has to be done. Videos like these truly help. Thank you.
This was an interesting watch because I've always generally faked interest in people and their interests in order to be friendly and curteous to them when they have something to say, which I've noticed has gotten many of my coworkers and acquaintances throughout the years to like and trust me. I always thought of it as just having good manners. Anyways, my problem is that as I grow older I've come to genuinely dislike people and have stopped faking interest due to the fact that [in my experience] relationships with others based on lies and faked interest can lead you down paths you wouldn't normally take which leads to time wasted on objectives which aren't your true goals and dont reflect your values. The lesson here is: Be yourself, unapologetically. Don't fake your life to appease others. Stop worrying. This is YOUR life, so live it how you want to.
Same girl. I had stopped people pleasing and people at work started respecting me more. I might have less friends now, but people know I am no doormat.
I listened to that book (audiobook) twice, and I have noticed a massive difference in how people treat me. If I had to guess, I’m a more likable person now. It’s so essential to get genuinely curious about people. I listen more than talk, and it’s made all the difference! I am thrilled to have found someone else sharing tips from the book I have been basing my interactions on for the past two months! New sub! 😊
To add to your point about smiling, putting the effort in the put yourself in a positive mood will make you smile way more so sometimes you need to change your perspective
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
Crazy... as I watched this video I realized everything I did right last weekend at the bar. I met this girl, was introduced through friends, got her name and a few minutes later I called her by her name and asked her a question about herself. Then I backed off for a little while. Then I called her by her name again and asked another question in which we found a commonality from. Then we kept talking about things with different questions. I wasn't trying to be overly nice or flirty but I was genuinely enjoying the conversation. Towards the end of the night, I complimented her on her music type. Then, right before the bars closed, she asked me if I remembered her name. which I said "of course, its x. What's my name?" Immediately challenging her with the same question to see if she had the same level of interest. After this, we ended up going home together. Nothing was weird, we had real conversation that night and it was genuine and natural. Girls don't want you to try, they want you to put forth effort. there's a difference.
I LOVE your videos Clark! Thank you for sharing your passion! 🤣 at “giving 1/2 expenditure of a calorie to learn your name!” I’ve found that in the same line of making someone feel important, if you’re late for a meeting with someone can also send a message that “they aren’t important”. But when you’re early or on time with a smile on your face, that shows you’re excited to be present with them and can also make them feel important and sends signals high vibrations💕😁
No idea how I found this dude but what a breath of fresh air. Full of wisdom and genuine advice thats applicable to anyone no matter their circumstance. Think I found a new subscribe. Thanks for the video, Clark.
Hey Clark , you're a new face on my feed. Right before you mentioned your brand I was thinking to myself this guy should be a health coach and it turns out you are some kind of coach. Well I just want to say i appreciate your video and I love little psychological tips we can use to enhance ourselves, our lives and our relationships.
I'm sharing this as a tip for those who find it hard to be interested in the person you're talking to. Being interested is also learning about the person and what could you take away from their stories. Acknowledging that each person have different emotions, experiences, and circumstances makes it all the more reason why it is interesting to hear about people's stories. Even when I talk to people who have similar experience that I had, it interests me to know about their story on how they handled it emotionally or mentally. A rare advice which I believe I have only read twice in the internet. You wanting to talk to the person is already a good enough reason. No other reasons needed, your self wanting the conversation is enough.
That was an excellent, well thought out and practical synopsis of Dale Carnegie’s book. Loved how you presented it, and even, at times, showed us what a particular technique looked like by role playing it. Subscribed. You have a gift. Thank you!
so interesting! What i can tell by my own experience (get complimented for it as well) is the power of keeping eye contact when it’s needed. it’s important to loosen it up from time to time (again the ‚not trying to come over creepy’ aspect) but keeping eye contact makes building a connection between two people that much easier and more real. And it also helps making the being interested part more authentic. if it’s hard for you maybe try practicing it in front of a mirror or with a person you trust (especially while talking as well). it makes someone want to open up more towards you and give you trust
00:01 Developing engaging and intriguing conversations 01:18 Being interested in others is more attractive than trying to be interesting. 02:38 Show genuine interest without appearing needy. 03:52 Using people’s names can make a positive impact in social interactions 05:07 Smiling is key to being approachable and warm. 06:20 Compliments and recognition are powerful motivators for people. 07:35 Appreciate and praise the qualities you want to see grow in your partner. 08:51 Letting go of old stories and baggage to gain more energy
"a bunch of people sitting around complaining, who wants that" - I literally started laughing because I have seen this exact scenario anyway these are great tips!
One trick I have, inspired by Carnegie, is to remember people's problems. Like if last time we talked their new job wasn't going well, or they'd hurt their leg, I like to check up on that quickly. Not dwell on it, and not try to solve it if there's nothing I can do, but just remembering it seems to go a long way.
All these tips are super helpful but I think it's what's on the inside that makes the biggest difference, as you clark says people pick up on your intentions. The signals you send off supercede remembering someone's name or any of that stuff by a mile in the long run so perhaps you have a bit of social anxiety and feel a bit uncomfortable around others and it's hard to apply these tips, or you have depression and even faking a smile takes effort in a social situation. The true and sustainable answer is to reprogram the mind and that starts by developing presence and learning how to expand the frequencies of the heart through special practices that are easy and make a big difference in how others respond to you since after all everything is energy and we mirror each other. Best of fortune to you
Some people can pick up on "what's inside" but most people actually can't as long as you know how to act. We meet 1 person who can magically see through everyone's facade, and think everyone can. But most people can't it actually just comes down to basic social skills that can be learned
@@biggibbs4678 I feel both of your comments. I suffer from depression and I feel like as soon as Im not smiling and just being netural, people look at me as if there's something majorly wrong. Equally, when I'm able to fake my way through it, people mostly don't notice a thing.
I love this video. Granted I do all these things already, but I got the gratification of knowing these are "The Ways"..... But what made me comment......I was watching and listening to you talk...facial expressions...everything.... You look AND sound just like Ben Affleck!!!!! Amazing. Have you ever been told this before?
Thank you for posting this video. I just recently finished this book. Gained a lot from its content. Grateful as always. Thank you for continuing your work
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
So well recognized today (because of the book)… the ‘repeating name’ trick is a sign of someone who is being manipulative. Less is more. / Less is better.
This all helps and that’s coming from someone who has experienced this recently. I like a woman I had an assessment for a job we were all going for. The second I saw her I was taken back from her smile. I’m an average looking guy, not ugly but not anything special, I’m also a lil chubby too. She’s a healthy weight, the right shape and size with the most amazing smile and clearest skin. We had to get to know each other for the first task and then feedback to the room. We had 3 minutes to memorise 5 facts. From that we went off task and ended up talking in depth about ourselves. We both got the job but I’m into her. We both got to the interview stage and I went in first as we had to go in by the numbers we were given. I waited for her after wanting to get her number and see if she got in too. When she came out she asked for my number!! We are now talking but taking it slow.
Also one thing that maybe sounds weird, but has helped me alot in making new friends: Give People the opportunity to prove their trustworthiness, dont shy away from telling them something personal about you, when the opportunity presents itself. Most People have alot more fun talking to new People when theyre instantly treated with not only respect, but with trust (Both to a certain degree of course). And something to also keep in mind 8/10 people are perfectly fine decent Human beings, who will not let you down if you let them in.
it's the first self-help book I read and it changed my perspective on interacting with other people. Remembering names is still a challenge for me though. I tried to use that trick he mentions, but honestly there were cases where I'd forget by the time I want to repeat it. If its a group I'll wait to see if someone else says their name and that helps. Great video though!
I'm the same! Recently I've expressed that "I already forgot your name, sorry!" And laugh. They appreciate the honesty and will happily tell you their name. Also, I've begun saying their name three times in front of them, to let them know I'm trying. They appreciate it! Finally, you can challenge them to say your name. Many times they don't either. It's a quick way to bond.
the best part about this video is clark's relaxed voice and calmness while talking unlike other videos where the youtuber shouts like a dinosaur for no reason and making no sense at all
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
This is so authentic, Clark. I just subscribed, Clark. Just kidding... Seriously this is gold and I resonate with what you said about identity and that our 2.0 version is not something we need to acquire but it's already waiting to be rediscovered within by shedding the layers of our false identities.
The power of having the authenticity to NOT NEED to have nobody addicted to you is far more powerful than all this "fake your personality" cr*p, but that is many levels above this.
💥Get more interested in people than you finding their interest 💥Always remember their names 💥Smile a bit small to attract connection 💥Honest and sweet compliment
"Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." My father recommended that Dale Carneige book to me while I was struggling with feeling like I had any real friends. I feel like it applies in so many ways. It really can be a game changer
Yeah, but what we all want is a relationship that gives us everything we desire. How much are we willing to give? Learning how to put someone else's needs over our own can be difficult acted out throughout the course of a long term relationship, even if you're in love. We only have to be attractive to the right person that sees us and then join along side them for the ride of a lifetime.
Great point about the RBF Clark! I have that same problem, and have been trying to smile more especially at the gym or social events. People often say I look like I'm pissed off and I'm just being normal ha! Awesome video!
I remember I complimented a guy wearing a beanie (he was wearing this beanie for a week now) and after I complimented him, he never wore that beanie ever again..
I have been watching charisma improvement videos for about 2 months now and you have been my favorite one out of all of them it’s something about the way it’s presented it’s just more relatable
Great point, hopefully the other person helps with that and reciprocates interest and asked you about yourself. Probably a good cue to walk away if they don’t lol
What I like about this video is he puts it in a gentle matter that we women can actually read your mind/you think you're invisible you're not we have already seen you what goes through our mind is who is this person and what do they want with me which I think that is almost anybody men or woman! So thank you for making this video
Good to see you Clark. I'm so thankful that you just made me realize how bad I'm at social interactions. I'll try to be better. And i must say that your voice is so lovely. Have a nice day Clark. Let me go through your channel. 🤗✌
Although I’m insanely shy and rarely socialise, i find whenever I’m at an event a sudden confidence I never have usually comes over me. But i swear this only happens when I’m forced to be at events and parties 😹
Wow interesting. Tell me more. That sounds sooO cool. Uh-huh, Uh-huh, mm-hmm. So how do you get to these events do you drive? And why do you feel shy is it because people like me have to pretend were interested in what you say?
This is so me!! I became overconfident as hell in parties or get-togethers, but I tone down these days as I realised confidence bring a lot of enemies. Generally I am shy af.
The problem with being "interested" is that you end up talking to those self absorbed (un)"interesting" people, and your openness to listen gives them licence to keep going and going and going and going.....
Thank you for this video, I came across it at the right time for me, and have now ordered this book, as I look to improve myself in life. I have also subscribed to hear me from you're channel.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
Still there are times when I want people to not ask me many questions within the first five minutes of meeting. I believe we still have to develop the art of asking questions or discern what to ask or what not to ask. I dislike when people ask me, “where are you originally from?” because it has nothing to do with the moment other than them being interested on letting me know that I am not from the United States, according to them. I believe the most important thing is to offer people comfort with your presence: sometimes through what you say and at times without saying anything. Anything you say or do shall enrich what the person you are connecting with is saying or doing. Avoid asking extremely personal questions. People will tell you more information when they trust you and feel comfortable and decide to tell you.
1. Become interested, not trying to be interesting. From experience: Ask about things that bring up emotion rather than asking about facts. Example: How did u feel when.. What was ur happiest, saddest, weirdest, craziest, luckiest.. What was the last time u felt most loved..
All of these things aren't something coachable, if you don't feel them, you will lose them again as soon as you stop working hard to maintain them. You need to be satisfied with who you are, which will lead you to doing things you find satisfying. You will be interested because your life is actually interesting enough for you to not have to talk about it without being asked, and you will smile because the general baseline of your life is joy. Invest your money in a good hypnotherapist or another practicioner who helps you dissolve subconscious traumas, you'll finally be changing the cause of your problems and not just have a dude like Clark put bandaids on top.
Hey Clark, I hope your day is well Clark. These videos you make are incredible, it shows that you put effort in them. I myself tried making videos as well, and appreciate the difficulty of making amazing content. Keep up the good work Clark.
Thank you for this! It came at the perfect time! I have to have a talk today with my housemates that could go either really badly, or really well, depending bon how I negotiate things with them! This gave me some really good tips on how to negotiate with them both now and in the future so that things go well! Definitely very much appreciated!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
Okay!
Despite the fact that I don't actually like you and I think you completely full of it just as much as the next bloke down the road and probably been on a diet of bologna sandwiches, Cocoa Puffs and piss and vinegar!
Lolol!
Not to sound concieted but I'm a fairly attractive guy but my teeth are starting to take a rapid decline (meth.. cough) Makes me not want to smile as much. Any suggestions?
"Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised."
Socializing is overrated
narcissist
Becoming interested makes you interesting and gives you a mysterious aura
Fr
Interesting
I think the bigger part of being interesting is to face challenges and hardship. People with lot of experience are, what I find, interesting.
can you also see aura ?
You have to impress her enough for her to appreciate that. Otherwise you are just another dude trying to get to know her. Ain't it?
1. be interested, not interesting
2. say their name
3. smile
4. compliment
Thanks for saving me 10 min
For the smile tip, you can be genuinely happy by detaching the people your meeting to what you experienced earlier that day. By genuinely being positive, you’ll be a lot happier. Also by being less judge mental too. Just because someone looks weird to you, doesn’t mean that person isn’t valuable and important just because you think they aren’t.
A lot of people are not valuable/important
Everyone is
Judgemental is one word, but I'm not judging you
@@siriusthestar1763 wrong. everyone is important.
I'm sorry but this sentence doesn't make sense to me Stelliphina: "you can be genuinely happy by detaching the people your meeting to what you experienced earlier that day." ???????
My buddy told me about 6 years back that he respected how I go after what I want and achieve that. To this day that’s stuck with me. That’s how powerful words can be!
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
Some weird book will never find you a partner. Real life might.
Bot
The fact that Social Secrets Mastery is such a well-kept secret says a lot about why so many struggle with dating-it’s all in the book.
As a female with RBF, I’ve had my fair share of elderly men approach me and tell me to smile. After reading this book, I actually started walking around with a smile regardless of how my day is going. I also have tremendous anxiety surrounding public places and what other people are thinking, so I started making a point of complimenting people I make eye contact with and it has actually helped me to gain clients at work. If I’m already smiling, they just smile back and we don’t necessarily have to interact beyond that, but complimenting them makes me feel better and less anxious and I’ve made someone else smile and saved myself from getting irritated with a stranger. It’s a win/win.
Thank you for this. I think this is what I need to do 😊
that's cool
Feeling exactly the same! Making an effort to genuinely compliment someone just makes you feel good about yourself and stops all these negative thoughts that you have in your head.
Dude, I work in retail and so many men walk up and say for me to smile, not women, just men…
That... I'm going to try that. Maybe not 100% or all the time, but complimenting someone you made eye contact with sounds like something that, over time, would make you better able to adapt.
The one thing I learned and used the most throughout life is the listening part. I had noticed that unless directly asked about something specific, most people don't care about anything you have to say about yourself, they are just waiting for a turn to talk about themselves as well, and if you're honest with yourself you may admit that you don't care much about what they're saying either.
If you want people to like you, let them talk and don't interrupt, just do little follow up questions or a nod at the right time to let them know you're listening.
Absolutely everyone loves that.
well for me people say that I'm quiet if I do that I gotta TALK to prove to people that I actually talk uk
My only worry is that if I always do that, then it will become an expectation and others will use me a bit. So guess it’s a balance overall
What if you're perceived as a boring unintelligent person who can't hold a conversation
@@lsen01928 all the more reason to stay quiet. I'm sorry this is happening to you.
@@skateordie9628 I'm asking if that is how you'll be perceived if you don't speak and mostly keep listening to the other person
What I love to do is remember specific things about each person I talk to, and then bring it up next time I meet them. It works especially well with stories and shows that you really do pay attention
This is legit my favourite thing to do! Their reaction is incomparable. The most common reaction, you were listening!?
I do it most of the time ❤
Being interested in others instead of trying to seem interesting…that flicked a switch in my brain and honestly lifted a burden off my shoulders. I can definitely be interested in others.
Thank you!
Authenticity is key 🔑
Grateful for the shared knowledge and of course no commercials
This is the way 🙏
So good.
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
🗿🗿🗿
If you want to be genuinely happy it is. But as this video explains, being fully authentic doesn't quite pay off in the social world. You have to put on a face as if everything is peaches and cream in your life rather than being able to relax your face and be as you normally would lol.
As a casino dealer, I can confirm that the things mentioned in this video will actually increase your tips. I was told towards the beginning of dealing poker “you should smile more, you look grumpy” by a player (a.k.a. Resting b*tch face). They were right. As I was new to dealing, I was concentrating and nervous which made me had a serious expression. Now when I approach the table to come in as the new dealer, I be sure to have a very slight smile (not a frown at least). Then when I sit down, I quickly glance for a split second at each player. If I make eye contact, I’ll give the slightest nod (almost like of recognition). If I do know their names, I will acknowledge them with a “hi John”. If someone has a cool shirt, hat, watch or luckily poker “charm” I’ll give them a “nice shirt!” nod. Last week a guy had a Motörhead shirt and I acknowledged it and then quietly sang a a line from “Ace of Spades” (one of their biggest songs). He laughed and said “great tune”. He ended up being my biggest tipper that round. People just want some sort of connection. Once they feel that, they are MUCH more generous when they have the chance to be.
The biggest takeaway is that for any of this to work you HAVE to be open to change. You can't just watch the video and get excited then carry on. You have to practice and form new habits. But the rewards will be worth it. Plant the seed, water it, and watch it grow.
Bro i wasnt expecting such a real video. This is real af, you gave geniune, soulful ways of looking at socialising. Respect!
Someone learned quickly - showoff!
Man, I just started watching you and you have massively changed my energy. I feel a lot more calm now. Especially after watching your letting go videos.
Hello
I never realized how impactful something as simple as remembering names could be until watching this. Thanks for sharing such practical and easy-to-implement advice!
"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you" 🔥🔥
*Dale Carnegie
Introverts should be careful with "become interested, not interesting." As an introvert, I had a much harder time connecting with people before I started working on myself. Don't be obnoxious about it-read the room-but have something to share, because relationships are a two-way street: giving (interesting) and receiving (interested). Otherwise you're just a reporter, watching and asking questions.
This is true. And then you're gonna be left alone as the "listener". I noticed people like to talk so I listen, but they also just talk about themselves, not giving any chance for you to share something about yourself. So when I notice that it's a one way conversation, I try to open something about myself so I feel good and initiated/hinted that I should also be involved in the talking and not here to just listen. But there are people who talk and ask, these are the people I like to talk to
@@mm-cm6kcyeah the people who only care about themselves I just walk away from the conversation it’s a waste of time
Invaluable. Ive been living this since learning it my early 20s, but its good to hear it again. This is pure gold.
it's kinda crazy how nobody's talking about the forbidden ebook called secrets of the elusive girl
never thought a book could help me this much. highly recommend
Seeing how much people have praised this book recently, I'm hopeful it will help me with my intentions
Where can I find this book?
google
Who’s the writer?
You know what I appreciate about you Clark? Although your videos are short they never waste my time! I laugh AND I learn. Thank you ☺️
10 minutes is long
@@ViralVideos-pr2oi how is that long? Lol
@@ViralVideos-pr2oi 😂 10 mins is long? For life-changing quality content? Try listening all the way through a 4 hour video by The Rational Male. THAT will change your life.
I never felt attracted to anyone who tried to impress me. In my mind I always thought, please dont waste your energy. I felt attracted to people I formed real connection, no pretence, no trying, who are honest and honest with their short comings too, who dont try to manipulate.
Clark, I love how you're comfortable shooting with only an empty background and at a close-up angle. Makes you feel authentic talking about this topic. (Just a random thought I had while watching the video.) First time for me here in your channel, but I can see you've been doing this for a while and putting in a lot of effort to be good at it. 🙌
Tip guys don’t everrrrr let nobody step over you nor disrespected , respect should be payed with genuine respect .Once you let someone disrespect you in anyway you devalued yourself it doesn’t mean talk shit or fight back but stand for what’s right and moved on from friends relationships strangers or even family sometimes. We are all individuals . Happy come within do what you love regardless of what it is .
Exactly. I'm seeing comments where people are being told to smile by others as if they owe them that. You are only giving that person power of you if you feel like you have to be a certain way to please them.
That book changed my life, I went from no one caring or remembering who I was at work to the person that people will go slightly out of their way in the morning to greet. It's all about effort and being genuine, the principles written in that book have become habits I do on a daily basis, subconsciously. I studied the book, took notes and wrote on a journal, and I often review my notes and the book from time to time.
What's the biggest point your took from the book? The one that changed everything?
Remember: Do not compare yourself with others. If you are happy with what you have with your hardwork then you are successful….
Our habit of comparing ourselves with others will really damage ourselves ( I had gone through it and gained nothing)…
Concentrate on your hobbies and work; this will simply make you “Attractive”.
And then people will have another problem of I'm attractive, why aren't I getting some, it's the same mentality of having hope, hope has no action first-hand.
Meanwhile me don't care i being like or not,i just being myself kek 🤪(please people just waste time lel)
Also people now a day so judgemental that's why either they like me or not idc tbh , at least i already treat them the way i treat myself 🙈
@@earth-air-water-fire-aether let them be with their mentality bro…you just need to keep going straight…Good Luck😉
I’m like a minute in and I know I will watch you for a long time to come. The humility and humour tie it together wonderfully
The crazy thing is that i remember trying to be "Interested" in someone but they nothing to be interested IN. I would ask about their interests, hobbies etc. And all they would basically say nothing like they didn't have any interests at all. So the conversation would end abruptly.
Well they are boring then
BRILLIANT ❣️ Especially, "Give people a fine reputation to live up to". Thank you, Clark. I thoroughly enjoyed the video, Clark.😁 (I really did like it!)
As someone with ADHD, I've always struggled with getting out of my own head. Unfortunately. I'm also very stubborn so I refused to accept it was adhd. Now that I'm 24 and friendless.. something has to be done.
Videos like these truly help. Thank you.
Better to have no friends than fake friend's.
Hope you have a great day.
Start meditating. Seriously, it changed everything for me. And it's free.
ADHD has nothing to do with it, stop putting labels on things that don’t need labels, man up and take responsibility
This was an interesting watch because I've always generally faked interest in people and their interests in order to be friendly and curteous to them when they have something to say, which I've noticed has gotten many of my coworkers and acquaintances throughout the years to like and trust me. I always thought of it as just having good manners. Anyways, my problem is that as I grow older I've come to genuinely dislike people and have stopped faking interest due to the fact that [in my experience] relationships with others based on lies and faked interest can lead you down paths you wouldn't normally take which leads to time wasted on objectives which aren't your true goals and dont reflect your values. The lesson here is: Be yourself, unapologetically. Don't fake your life to appease others. Stop worrying. This is YOUR life, so live it how you want to.
Same girl. I had stopped people pleasing and people at work started respecting me more. I might have less friends now, but people know I am no doormat.
I'm surprised how much I learned that I should already know at this point in my life. Thanks for a really awesome posting!
I listened to that book (audiobook) twice, and I have noticed a massive difference in how people treat me. If I had to guess, I’m a more likable person now. It’s so essential to get genuinely curious about people. I listen more than talk, and it’s made all the difference! I am thrilled to have found someone else sharing tips from the book I have been basing my interactions on for the past two months! New sub! 😊
4 months now. Still working?
To add to your point about smiling, putting the effort in the put yourself in a positive mood will make you smile way more so sometimes you need to change your perspective
Those who are meant to be in your life will be in your life. Trust the process 💖
Totally!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
I resonate with you. I was hesitant bro. But the no ads helped a ton.
Crazy... as I watched this video I realized everything I did right last weekend at the bar. I met this girl, was introduced through friends, got her name and a few minutes later I called her by her name and asked her a question about herself. Then I backed off for a little while. Then I called her by her name again and asked another question in which we found a commonality from. Then we kept talking about things with different questions. I wasn't trying to be overly nice or flirty but I was genuinely enjoying the conversation. Towards the end of the night, I complimented her on her music type. Then, right before the bars closed, she asked me if I remembered her name. which I said "of course, its x. What's my name?" Immediately challenging her with the same question to see if she had the same level of interest. After this, we ended up going home together. Nothing was weird, we had real conversation that night and it was genuine and natural.
Girls don't want you to try, they want you to put forth effort. there's a difference.
Self sponsor. No ads. Really noticed that until you mentioned it. Love how genuine you are. Thanks a lot man
I LOVE your videos Clark! Thank you for sharing your passion!
🤣 at “giving 1/2 expenditure of a calorie to learn your name!” I’ve found that in the same line of making someone feel important, if you’re late for a meeting with someone can also send a message that “they aren’t important”. But when you’re early or on time with a smile on your face, that shows you’re excited to be present with them and can also make them feel important and sends signals high vibrations💕😁
No idea how I found this dude but what a breath of fresh air. Full of wisdom and genuine advice thats applicable to anyone no matter their circumstance.
Think I found a new subscribe. Thanks for the video, Clark.
i have been unconsciously practicing some of these already but it's so nice to learn about a few more things. thank you. great video!
Thank you for the recap. I read this book a few months back and needed a reminder of the principles. Will use them next week when I'm going out :)
Hey Clark , you're a new face on my feed. Right before you mentioned your brand I was thinking to myself this guy should be a health coach and it turns out you are some kind of coach. Well I just want to say i appreciate your video and I love little psychological tips we can use to enhance ourselves, our lives and our relationships.
U took the advice and used his name😂
You know Clark, I really appreciate that the ad is at the end of the video really helps me focus on the video and enjoy it.
I'm sharing this as a tip for those who find it hard to be interested in the person you're talking to. Being interested is also learning about the person and what could you take away from their stories. Acknowledging that each person have different emotions, experiences, and circumstances makes it all the more reason why it is interesting to hear about people's stories. Even when I talk to people who have similar experience that I had, it interests me to know about their story on how they handled it emotionally or mentally.
A rare advice which I believe I have only read twice in the internet. You wanting to talk to the person is already a good enough reason. No other reasons needed, your self wanting the conversation is enough.
That was an excellent, well thought out and practical synopsis of Dale Carnegie’s book. Loved how you presented it, and even, at times, showed us what a particular technique looked like by role playing it. Subscribed. You have a gift. Thank you!
so interesting! What i can tell by my own experience (get complimented for it as well) is the power of keeping eye contact when it’s needed. it’s important to loosen it up from time to time (again the ‚not trying to come over creepy’ aspect) but keeping eye contact makes building a connection between two people that much easier and more real. And it also helps making the being interested part more authentic. if it’s hard for you maybe try practicing it in front of a mirror or with a person you trust (especially while talking as well). it makes someone want to open up more towards you and give you trust
00:01 Developing engaging and intriguing conversations
01:18 Being interested in others is more attractive than trying to be interesting.
02:38 Show genuine interest without appearing needy.
03:52 Using people’s names can make a positive impact in social interactions
05:07 Smiling is key to being approachable and warm.
06:20 Compliments and recognition are powerful motivators for people.
07:35 Appreciate and praise the qualities you want to see grow in your partner.
08:51 Letting go of old stories and baggage to gain more energy
I have always appreciated your videos, but this one has taken my appreciation of your content to another level. Thank u for sharing yourself with us
What an absolute force. That was so elegantly delivered! Thank you!
"a bunch of people sitting around complaining, who wants that" - I literally started laughing because I have seen this exact scenario
anyway these are great tips!
One trick I have, inspired by Carnegie, is to remember people's problems. Like if last time we talked their new job wasn't going well, or they'd hurt their leg, I like to check up on that quickly. Not dwell on it, and not try to solve it if there's nothing I can do, but just remembering it seems to go a long way.
All these tips are super helpful but I think it's what's on the inside that makes the biggest difference, as you clark says people pick up on your intentions.
The signals you send off supercede remembering someone's name or any of that stuff by a mile in the long run so perhaps you have a bit of social anxiety and feel a bit uncomfortable around others and it's hard to apply these tips, or you have depression and even faking a smile takes effort in a social situation. The true and sustainable answer is to reprogram the mind and that starts by developing presence and learning how to expand the frequencies of the heart through special practices that are easy and make a big difference in how others respond to you since after all everything is energy and we mirror each other. Best of fortune to you
Special practices like what?
wtf you saying?
Some people can pick up on "what's inside" but most people actually can't as long as you know how to act. We meet 1 person who can magically see through everyone's facade, and think everyone can. But most people can't it actually just comes down to basic social skills that can be learned
@@biggibbs4678 I feel both of your comments. I suffer from depression and I feel like as soon as Im not smiling and just being netural, people look at me as if there's something majorly wrong. Equally, when I'm able to fake my way through it, people mostly don't notice a thing.
I love this video. Granted I do all these things already, but I got the gratification of knowing these are "The Ways".....
But what made me comment......I was watching and listening to you talk...facial expressions...everything....
You look AND sound just like Ben Affleck!!!!! Amazing. Have you ever been told this before?
Thank you for posting this video. I just recently finished this book. Gained a lot from its content. Grateful as always. Thank you for continuing your work
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
So well recognized today (because of the book)… the ‘repeating name’ trick is a sign of someone who is being manipulative. Less is more. / Less is better.
I thought this would be some weird dating coach thing but actually these are really good tips lol thank you im glad i clicked
This all helps and that’s coming from someone who has experienced this recently. I like a woman I had an assessment for a job we were all going for. The second I saw her I was taken back from her smile. I’m an average looking guy, not ugly but not anything special, I’m also a lil chubby too. She’s a healthy weight, the right shape and size with the most amazing smile and clearest skin. We had to get to know each other for the first task and then feedback to the room. We had 3 minutes to memorise 5 facts. From that we went off task and ended up talking in depth about ourselves. We both got the job but I’m into her. We both got to the interview stage and I went in first as we had to go in by the numbers we were given. I waited for her after wanting to get her number and see if she got in too. When she came out she asked for my number!! We are now talking but taking it slow.
Also one thing that maybe sounds weird, but has helped me alot in making new friends:
Give People the opportunity to prove their trustworthiness, dont shy away from telling them something personal about you, when the opportunity presents itself.
Most People have alot more fun talking to new People when theyre instantly treated with not only respect, but with trust (Both to a certain degree of course).
And something to also keep in mind 8/10 people are perfectly fine decent Human beings, who will not let you down if you let them in.
Smiling helps ourself first, with instantly improving our mood! At least that's what it does for me!
it's the first self-help book I read and it changed my perspective on interacting with other people. Remembering names is still a challenge for me though. I tried to use that trick he mentions, but honestly there were cases where I'd forget by the time I want to repeat it. If its a group I'll wait to see if someone else says their name and that helps. Great video though!
I'm the same! Recently I've expressed that "I already forgot your name, sorry!" And laugh. They appreciate the honesty and will happily tell you their name. Also, I've begun saying their name three times in front of them, to let them know I'm trying. They appreciate it! Finally, you can challenge them to say your name. Many times they don't either. It's a quick way to bond.
What's the name of the book
Try rhyming it....Jack in the back wearing black
the best part about this video is clark's relaxed voice and calmness while talking unlike other videos where the youtuber shouts like a dinosaur for no reason and making no sense at all
Thanks, Clark, as always, you made my day and LIFE better with this video!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
This is so authentic, Clark. I just subscribed, Clark. Just kidding... Seriously this is gold and I resonate with what you said about identity and that our 2.0 version is not something we need to acquire but it's already waiting to be rediscovered within by shedding the layers of our false identities.
The power of having the authenticity to NOT NEED to have nobody addicted to you is far more powerful than all this "fake your personality" cr*p, but that is many levels above this.
Did you... really censor the word crap?
He did
This. I am so over wanting anyone addicted to me. Performing is only for interviews
💥Get more interested in people than you finding their interest
💥Always remember their names
💥Smile a bit small to attract connection
💥Honest and sweet compliment
This is amazing. I actually find people super interesting so it's awesome to be genuinely interested- and it's true everyone loves it hehe 💗
So much easier! I am more innie of ambiversion, so it’s natural for me to love listening more. :)
"Be hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise." My father recommended that Dale Carneige book to me while I was struggling with feeling like I had any real friends. I feel like it applies in so many ways. It really can be a game changer
Yeah, but what we all want is a relationship that gives us everything we desire. How much are we willing to give? Learning how to put someone else's needs over our own can be difficult acted out throughout the course of a long term relationship, even if you're in love. We only have to be attractive to the right person that sees us and then join along side them for the ride of a lifetime.
I read that book and somehow this was the most helpful video I’ve found In a week. Thanks!
This whole video is basically have Aquarius star sign personality. Detached, genuinely curious in people but from keeps a distance from them
I'm an Aquarius and this doesn't seem to work that well for me. People misunderstand me a lot but that is most likely all in my head
@onepunchflan3071 it's also the sign that is the most misunderstood because it does things differently to normal people
Aquarius here😊
“ To be interesting you must be interested.”-Jad T Jones
It's not true though.
@@peterwhitey4992 autistic response
Great point about the RBF Clark! I have that same problem, and have been trying to smile more especially at the gym or social events. People often say I look like I'm pissed off and I'm just being normal ha! Awesome video!
Tbey probably think you are busy 😅
I remember I complimented a guy wearing a beanie (he was wearing this beanie for a week now) and after I complimented him, he never wore that beanie ever again..
I have been watching charisma improvement videos for about 2 months now and you have been my favorite one out of all of them it’s something about the way it’s presented it’s just more relatable
Thank you, Clark!! I appreciate your edutainment videos. They're always fun and enjoyable to watch. 😁
You always make complex topics feel more approachable.
be interested yes, but don’t turn a conversation into an interview
Great point, hopefully the other person helps with that and reciprocates interest and asked you about yourself. Probably a good cue to walk away if they don’t lol
I appreciate how approachable this was!
What I like about this video is he puts it in a gentle matter that we women can actually read your mind/you think you're invisible you're not we have already seen you what goes through our mind is who is this person and what do they want with me which I think that is almost anybody men or woman! So thank you for making this video
Good to see you Clark. I'm so thankful that you just made me realize how bad I'm at social interactions. I'll try to be better. And i must say that your voice is so lovely. Have a nice day Clark. Let me go through your channel. 🤗✌
Although I’m insanely shy and rarely socialise, i find whenever I’m at an event a sudden confidence I never have usually comes over me. But i swear this only happens when I’m forced to be at events and parties 😹
Wow interesting. Tell me more. That sounds sooO cool. Uh-huh, Uh-huh, mm-hmm. So how do you get to these events do you drive? And why do you feel shy is it because people like me have to pretend were interested in what you say?
This is so me!! I became overconfident as hell in parties or get-togethers, but I tone down these days as I realised confidence bring a lot of enemies. Generally I am shy af.
Good advice, Clark. "I'm bad with names hehe" is such a boring thing to say. I try to counter with something witty like "Well I'm bad with money."
I have a friend who subconsciously does all 4, he's the most likable person I've ever known.
maybe he/she does it on purpose in a subtle and a smooth way
The problem with being "interested" is that you end up talking to those self absorbed (un)"interesting" people, and your openness to listen gives them licence to keep going and going and going and going.....
Thank you for this video, I came across it at the right time for me, and have now ordered this book, as I look to improve myself in life. I have also subscribed to hear me from you're channel.
I'm actually working on manifestation and the exercises you recommended, Clark.. And it kinda works.. I'll do this one too..
And thank you again
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
You’re way too cool man, thanks for everything and keep up the awesome work Clark!
Still there are times when I want people to not ask me many questions within the first five minutes of meeting. I believe we still have to develop the art of asking questions or discern what to ask or what not to ask. I dislike when people ask me, “where are you originally from?” because it has nothing to do with the moment other than them being interested on letting me know that I am not from the United States, according to them. I believe the most important thing is to offer people comfort with your presence: sometimes through what you say and at times without saying anything. Anything you say or do shall enrich what the person you are connecting with is saying or doing. Avoid asking extremely personal questions. People will tell you more information when they trust you and feel comfortable and decide to tell you.
3:55 Good to see you is my go to, that's solid advice
I wouldn't mind seeing sponsors in your videos! If you still provide such an amazing value and get paid for it, I'm all for it!
You always make learning more approachable!
1. Become interested, not trying to be interesting. From experience: Ask about things that bring up emotion rather than asking about facts. Example: How did u feel when.. What was ur happiest, saddest, weirdest, craziest, luckiest.. What was the last time u felt most loved..
Isnt it weird as hell to ask people about feelings at work?
Amazing advice. I would keep it casual tho, not to sound like a therapist
All of these things aren't something coachable, if you don't feel them, you will lose them again as soon as you stop working hard to maintain them. You need to be satisfied with who you are, which will lead you to doing things you find satisfying. You will be interested because your life is actually interesting enough for you to not have to talk about it without being asked, and you will smile because the general baseline of your life is joy. Invest your money in a good hypnotherapist or another practicioner who helps you dissolve subconscious traumas, you'll finally be changing the cause of your problems and not just have a dude like Clark put bandaids on top.
Clark you’re an excellent salesman. I love your initiative.
Hey Clark, I hope your day is well Clark. These videos you make are incredible, it shows that you put effort in them. I myself tried making videos as well, and appreciate the difficulty of making amazing content. Keep up the good work Clark.
It sounds like you are trying too hard.
Love this kind of people on the TH-cam, please continue with this! Also can you give us more books for self improvement and social skills?
Thank you for this! It came at the perfect time! I have to have a talk today with my housemates that could go either really badly, or really well, depending bon how I negotiate things with them! This gave me some really good tips on how to negotiate with them both now and in the future so that things go well! Definitely very much appreciated!
I can recommend you to someone powerful who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works very fast and I believe he can solve your relationship problems..
I don’t typically comment but this was one of the best videos I have ever watched. I like your other content as well but this one (for me) was gold!!