Ready to create the 2.0 you? Click here to completely reinvent yourself in 10 weeks and personally get coached by me. ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-social-secret (no sign-up required)
Also, stop trying to force a “connection” with everyone! Be kind and genuine. If you’re desperately trying to find something in common, it’s really obvious and not attractive. Especially to anyone who has read the book that all of this advice came from.
This guy teaching how to get people addicted to you and to like you and im in 20 seconds in the video and I hate him and hate his mouth and his teeth and his eyes are annoying 😫😫😫😫🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ this guy in the video is not attractive asf and I’m blocking him bye
Drawing attention to similarities between you and the other person is a big one for strengthening connection. Also, having your own hobbies/fun things you enjoy doing, and then talking about those things makes you so much more interesting of a person to talk with. You come off energized and like you are actually awake in life, not just going through the motions of work/eat/sleep.
@@loadapishit isnt possible that nobody like who you REALLY are unless you are just an ahole, maybe your reputation is damaged, we like what is desired. Change spaces, an undervalued item can be a fan favorite in another market. Talk to people who values you and the rest will follow.
I've always had problems with keeping eye contact. But then someone told me "Look at their eye color, notice if there's a difference between the eyes". It gives the mind something to do, it's not just staring... Works for me :)
I really like the 1st tip. I have a lot of anxiety around talking with people at work when it comes to confronting them about work issues. My thoughts take over, and I chicken out of communicating what is important to me. Thanks, Clark, for putting it in perspective for me 😊👍
Another good tip is active listening in conversation. For instance when someone talks about something they like even though you may not be on the same page, mention it in your response and ask intentional questions about the subject that point to the interest and the person your talking it. It shows you really care what they are talking about and want to know more about them rather than saying “that’s cool and than moving on to another subject.” Also be sensitive to the conversation. Share the conversation. Don’t take over and do most the talking. Don’t dominate the conversation. Make it fair, share some of your thought and also leave room for them to share there thoughts. And most importantly ask questions. If they don’t ask back on your thoughts than I highly recommend you make room in your response with your thoughts so than you don’t feel drained. Not everyone has these social skills or awareness so don’t be a stranger to advocate for yourself by including your thoughts in your response just in case you talk to someone who lacks that social grace.
First time watching you Clark, and I must say that you are a great storyteller! Love how you talk about examples happening in your real life or something that you came across which captures our interest, to then later on connect that with a social skill. Keep it up brodie👊
Clark, you don't need to mess up twice. Most people will not notice if you mess up once, unless it's really bad. If I mess up and mention it when I come off stage, usually people will say, "really, I did notice."
Also, just because someone is wearing a name tag, don’t automatically start calling them by their first name. If you’ve not introduced yourself or been introduced, meaning that they know your name too, then it’s not normal and it comes across as weird and creepy. My brother always does this no matter where we go (🙄 thanks to taking the Dale Carnegie course in high school), and he has no idea how inappropriate and weird his behavior is.
Needed this! I started noticing the past month that I don’t make much eye contact I look past someone or around the room. It was because I was more anxious. I’m now aware and have been trying to look at the eyes more . The only way I noticed this in myself was bc I was talking to someone who wouldn’t make eye contact and then it hit me I was the same .
Our experience with tip number 4 really resonates with me, and I can relate to the struggle of accepting compliments and the realization that my "humility" was, in a way, a form of backward arrogance. It's interesting how sometimes what we perceive as humility can actually be a mask for insecurity or a fear of vulnerability. When I started forcing myself to accept compliments genuinely and simply say "thank you," I, too, felt exposed and vulnerable. It made me confront my ego and the discomfort of being seen and appreciated for my strengths. However, just like you, I recognized that this discomfort indicated an area for personal growth, much like a form of shadow work.
Regarding tip number 4. I used to be one of those people; in many ways I still am. But at one point I realized that my "humility" was being a sort of backwards arrogance: i found myself having a much harder time grappling with my ego when I started forcing myself to just... Accept the compliments. I realized that just accepting, and genuinely just saying "thank You" was making me feel vulnerable and somewhat "exposed", so I started forcing myself to doing it more and more. I though "Wow, if it is feeling so hard to do, then it must mean learning how to do it it's good for me.". Kinda like a shadow work thing, If that makes sense
Unfortunately eye contact for Autistics and neurodivergent individuals is a major difficulty- I can *do* it but then all my focus goes into dealing with the eye contact and I have almost no ability to process what the individual is saying. Autistic culture, like the d/Deaf culture, has a whole different swathe of social and interactive cues.
It took me forever! To get used to taking compliments. I was always - yea thanks but it can still look better…..etc. Just say thank you. Return it with a likewise compliment. Extra brownie points.
Was with ya till you said that’s why celebrities share personal vulnerabilities. I see all celebrities as fake and figured they knew sharing vulnerability was a way to connect but that for them there is some sort of motive, agenda or manipulative programming going on. Perhaps I need therapy…or perhaps I’m right 🤓
This is so helpful for me personally, but also for my next story. There’s been something missing with one of my characters and your first tip is perfect! 😊
Good advice here. Having good social skills are definitely a must have in life and I know so many people that would benefit from this. A lot of people don’t even know that information like this is out there!
My mom used to say learn to laugh at yourself. So if you have an embarrassing moment most times I just laugh with every one else. I don't feel they are judging me. More like saying ooh my! I've done that before.
The 'mess up twice' technique failed me! I was playing drum set in jazz combo and dropped both of my sticks. Not at the same time, but within the span of about 5 seconds. Dropped my right one, picked it up and recovered, then dropped the left one
There must be something wrong with me. I've been following advice like this for two years, and I am constantly ghosted and rejected. Doesn't matter how authentic or direct I am. People just don't seem to be interested in keeping me around.
- [00:00] 🤝 Five social secrets to make people like you without being fake or manipulative. - [01:01] 🧠 Win the inner game: Overcoming self-doubt and internal chatter is key to better social interactions. - [02:38] 👁 Eye contact: Maintaining appropriate eye contact conveys confidence and engagement. - [04:28] 🤝 Highlight similarities: People are drawn to others with shared interests and experiences. - [05:47] 🙌 Accept compliments graciously to boost self-confidence and improve social interactions. - [07:10] 💖 Authenticity: Sharing authentic and vulnerable moments helps build trust and connections.
I quite like that first one. I'm guilty of spending way too much time in my head, and as a result, it does take me away from the social aspect. I'll try to remember this.
I'm 55, and for whatever reason, at crucial (and non crucial) times, I've had off eye contact. It weakens that connection, and so I have been doing a "Michael Caine", where he said, "you stare at one eye, and do not blink, until you need: the power of maintaining that kind of eye contact is visible in film."
I’m a big believer in eye contact and how you can sense the emotions of the person you’re speaking with. I tend to always look into their right eye more than their left. I have to make a conscious effort to switch from the right to the left, and I always unconsciously shift back to their right eye. I’ve always wondered why their right eye. Any ideas to why that might be?
@@Jos_zi probably, but I believe all habits have there formational causes. Is it left brain or right brain dominance? I’m not sure. It’s clearly a preference but I can’t tell where it come from.
@@bill_jennings maybe you were used to looking at people's right eye from start.I believe that's what it is but you may be right,it could be one of ur brain theory
I think you meant 'uninteresed' in the small talk section. Disinterested refers to not having a vested interest in a matter, like a judge should be disinterested in the court case, letting justice be served fairly. Just helping out your great content!
I work at Goodwill been doing the same duties for some 5 years. All they give me is part time..trying to stay focused on my job just tough I look out a window look at the sky think I rather be fishing
If I looked like this guy I would definitely have more success in attracting women. Let’s not kid ourselves being physically attractive helps out a lot.
One skill that is just as important as all these i'd say is listening and showing genuine interest. Talking about yourself too much can come across as self involved but people love to talk about themselves so if you let the person your interacting with talk and keep the momentum of their flow up it can be great for building a connection. I'd say i'm pretty good with the skills mentioned in this video but since I genuinely have ADHD (everyone claims they have nowadays) I can sometimes struggle to stay focused on something someone says if I don't have a particular interest in the subject.... Something i'm working on...
Never had an issue with eye contact but then find myself half way through listening to someone telling me something for ten minutes since i've been nodding along etc only to realise i have no idea what they've just said and now i'm just thinking about not knowing what's going on 😅@@notzox
I have been training to say: "Thank you" but last time someone called me "strong" I answered with: " medium strong" but that was an insult for the guy because we were lifting the same amount of weight. 🤦🏽♀️
Sheesh. Be yourself and know that EVERYONE is afraid of something and trying too hard will make you not be you. Don't talk too much, brush your teeth, smile a lot. And... if you are stuck for something to say, begin your words with the word "because". Humans seem to believe anything that follows that word. The eye contact thing is important. Don't look directly at the other person's eyes unless you are making a strong statement. Look in their direction but not directly in the eyes... except to make a point. Read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. Available in every language.
.. if someone would look only in my direction but not in the eyes, I feel not importent or uninteresting to them.. like indeed, they only care about making their point. doesnt feel good at all
@Babbelbet I would suggest that it's up to you to make your life better... as in YOU make the move and THE LOOK... when they don't turn away from your looking at them. I met my boyfriend on the street by following him a bit to check him out then walked right up to him and asked if he would like to come home with me, smoke some good stuff and let me, ahem... do him. He said yes. I asked him to be my boyfriend the very next day with the terms... we ALWAYS sleep together at night and I don't want to know about other guys I know he might do things with. The worst that can happen is he says no.
You keep bringing up hollow earth in your videos and it's one of my friend's special observation. And he is truly one of the most interesting person I know 😂
As someone who watches this video before going to an AA meeting to better connect with people, opening up with “I have a borderline drinking problem” might not be such a bad idea
Ready to create the 2.0 you? Click here to completely reinvent yourself in 10 weeks and personally get coached by me. ➡ www.clarkkegley.com/free-case-study?sl=yt-social-secret (no sign-up required)
Hi baby
Also, stop trying to force a “connection” with everyone! Be kind and genuine. If you’re desperately trying to find something in common, it’s really obvious and not attractive. Especially to anyone who has read the book that all of this advice came from.
book name?
@@Pbcvl how to win friends & influence people
Yess!! Find your own peeps 🧡
@@dream-nz9yb omg this book it's amazing
This guy teaching how to get people addicted to you and to like you and im in 20 seconds in the video and I hate him and hate his mouth and his teeth and his eyes are annoying 😫😫😫😫🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ this guy in the video is not attractive asf and I’m blocking him bye
Drawing attention to similarities between you and the other person is a big one for strengthening connection. Also, having your own hobbies/fun things you enjoy doing, and then talking about those things makes you so much more interesting of a person to talk with. You come off energized and like you are actually awake in life, not just going through the motions of work/eat/sleep.
Interesing point.
Being authentic is always the best thing to do in any scenario
Lol maybe 8/10 times 🤷♂️ gl tho
Until you realise nobody likes who you really are. Then what
@@loadapishfuck their opinion on me, care only about what God thinks of me
@@loadapishit isnt possible that nobody like who you REALLY are unless you are just an ahole, maybe your reputation is damaged, we like what is desired. Change spaces, an undervalued item can be a fan favorite in another market. Talk to people who values you and the rest will follow.
@@loadapish8 billion people and no one likes you?
I've always had problems with keeping eye contact. But then someone told me "Look at their eye color, notice if there's a difference between the eyes". It gives the mind something to do, it's not just staring... Works for me :)
I’m going to try this! Thanks for sharing
Vinnie Jones, of all people said, that if you look at one eye and not both of them, it makes it easier.
I really like the 1st tip. I have a lot of anxiety around talking with people at work when it comes to confronting them about work issues. My thoughts take over, and I chicken out of communicating what is important to me. Thanks, Clark, for putting it in perspective for me 😊👍
😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢🎉🎉🎉🎉
Just " don't care "; it's refreshing and the freedom you feel makes you standout.
Another good tip is active listening in conversation. For instance when someone talks about something they like even though you may not be on the same page, mention it in your response and ask intentional questions about the subject that point to the interest and the person your talking it. It shows you really care what they are talking about and want to know more about them rather than saying “that’s cool and than moving on to another subject.”
Also be sensitive to the conversation. Share the conversation. Don’t take over and do most the talking. Don’t dominate the conversation. Make it fair, share some of your thought and also leave room for them to share there thoughts. And most importantly ask questions. If they don’t ask back on your thoughts than I highly recommend you make room in your response with your thoughts so than you don’t feel drained. Not everyone has these social skills or awareness so don’t be a stranger to advocate for yourself by including your thoughts in your response just in case you talk to someone who lacks that social grace.
It doesn't matter if they like you or not...you do need them to respect you for sure
I had an appraisal today with the head boss, made lots of eye contact while engaging the other interviewer. Nailed it !
First time watching you Clark, and I must say that you are a great storyteller! Love how you talk about examples happening in your real life or something that you came across which captures our interest, to then later on connect that with a social skill. Keep it up brodie👊
Also exercise and drink coffee. My confidence has been sky-rocketing ever since!
Clark, you don't need to mess up twice. Most people will not notice if you mess up once, unless it's really bad. If I mess up and mention it when I come off stage, usually people will say, "really, I did notice."
Also, just because someone is wearing a name tag, don’t automatically start calling them by their first name. If you’ve not introduced yourself or been introduced, meaning that they know your name too, then it’s not normal and it comes across as weird and creepy. My brother always does this no matter where we go (🙄 thanks to taking the Dale Carnegie course in high school), and he has no idea how inappropriate and weird his behavior is.
Needed this! I started noticing the past month that I don’t make much eye contact I look past someone or around the room. It was because I was more anxious. I’m now aware and have been trying to look at the eyes more . The only way I noticed this in myself was bc I was talking to someone who wouldn’t make eye contact and then it hit me I was the same .
Our experience with tip number 4 really resonates with me, and I can relate to the struggle of accepting compliments and the realization that my "humility" was, in a way, a form of backward arrogance. It's interesting how sometimes what we perceive as humility can actually be a mask for insecurity or a fear of vulnerability. When I started forcing myself to accept compliments genuinely and simply say "thank you," I, too, felt exposed and vulnerable. It made me confront my ego and the discomfort of being seen and appreciated for my strengths. However, just like you, I recognized that this discomfort indicated an area for personal growth, much like a form of shadow work.
Regarding tip number 4. I used to be one of those people; in many ways I still am. But at one point I realized that my "humility" was being a sort of backwards arrogance: i found myself having a much harder time grappling with my ego when I started forcing myself to just... Accept the compliments. I realized that just accepting, and genuinely just saying "thank You" was making me feel vulnerable and somewhat "exposed", so I started forcing myself to doing it more and more. I though "Wow, if it is feeling so hard to do, then it must mean learning how to do it it's good for me.". Kinda like a shadow work thing, If that makes sense
Never thought i'd see Superman open a TH-cam channel!
The art of caring less remains priceless.
Everytime I watch your videos I leave having learned something.
Unfortunately eye contact for Autistics and neurodivergent individuals is a major difficulty- I can *do* it but then all my focus goes into dealing with the eye contact and I have almost no ability to process what the individual is saying. Autistic culture, like the d/Deaf culture, has a whole different swathe of social and interactive cues.
It took me forever! To get used to taking compliments.
I was always - yea thanks but it can still look better…..etc.
Just say thank you. Return it with a likewise compliment. Extra brownie points.
Solitude, self love is the key to many love 😊❤️
I have been trying to find a mentor for quite sometime now and man did you hit on everything I need to hear! thank you man.
the biggest thing in communicating is sometimes having a goal to reach through the conversation good video:)
Great video as always!! Thanks for the help 🤗
I’ve never been able to maintain eye contact. It has held me back all my life and has prohibited me from forming relationships.
“The eyes chico, they never lie”
You sure about that? 🌺
Was with ya till you said that’s why celebrities share personal vulnerabilities. I see all celebrities as fake and figured they knew sharing vulnerability was a way to connect but that for them there is some sort of motive, agenda or manipulative programming going on. Perhaps I need therapy…or perhaps I’m right 🤓
This is so helpful for me personally, but also for my next story. There’s been something missing with one of my characters and your first tip is perfect! 😊
It's basically about the dream life of people with social anxiety. Thanks for spreading those tips!
Good advice here. Having good social skills are definitely a must have in life and I know so many people that would benefit from this. A lot of people don’t even know that information like this is out there!
GREAT CONTENT! THANKS, CLARK!
Be KIND & GENEROUS. Everything will follow❤😊
Clark. MY MAN always on point inspired by you. GAVIN FROM SOUTH AFRICA
Another great video! Can’t wait for the next one
This video was sooo good thanks man ❤
My mom used to say learn to laugh at yourself. So if you have an embarrassing moment most times I just laugh with every one else. I don't feel they are judging me. More like saying ooh my! I've done that before.
True talk, you seem real to me and relatable. It's one of the reasons I like ya.
The 'mess up twice' technique failed me! I was playing drum set in jazz combo and dropped both of my sticks. Not at the same time, but within the span of about 5 seconds. Dropped my right one, picked it up and recovered, then dropped the left one
If you only knew how to juggle.
U deliver great content - glad I found u.
Plus you’re easy to look at 😉
There must be something wrong with me. I've been following advice like this for two years, and I am constantly ghosted and rejected. Doesn't matter how authentic or direct I am. People just don't seem to be interested in keeping me around.
Clark’s voice is so comforting
- [00:00] 🤝 Five social secrets to make people like you without being fake or manipulative.
- [01:01] 🧠 Win the inner game: Overcoming self-doubt and internal chatter is key to better social interactions.
- [02:38] 👁 Eye contact: Maintaining appropriate eye contact conveys confidence and engagement.
- [04:28] 🤝 Highlight similarities: People are drawn to others with shared interests and experiences.
- [05:47] 🙌 Accept compliments graciously to boost self-confidence and improve social interactions.
- [07:10] 💖 Authenticity: Sharing authentic and vulnerable moments helps build trust and connections.
I agree, Apple Store staff are very polite and friendly im a way your willingness to buy something increases
not saying it everything was groundbreaking and new to hear but i agreed with all points
For point number 1, I would be thinking ‘’If he thought that was bad, then cant wait to see him when he’s good!’
As an alien lifeform trying to pass as human, this was really helpful
Nothing you say makes sense to me. All tips given, I hate when people do those things to me. I need to watch more of these videos it seems ;D
I quite like that first one. I'm guilty of spending way too much time in my head, and as a result, it does take me away from the social aspect. I'll try to remember this.
Be real to win the heart not just the game ❤
Very empowering content, thank you!
Also when someone complements you you can tag on thank you for noticing (blank). And boomerang it back to them. This is what worked for me
Really helpful, thanks! Might incorporate this video into my English classes. 😍
Eye contact is a tough one for me. I need to do it more beucase I get a ton of anxiety with eye contact. Need to get over it.
Do you have a podcast? I would defenitly listen to you for hours
Thank you Ben Affleck. Loved you as Bruce Wayne.
Loving your vibes...❤thanx again for another winner 🏆 🥇 🏅 👏 😉🙏🏻💯 💙
You utilize 'Candor' ,that's a major problem these days in the U.S. Many thanks. 🙏 👍
I'm 55, and for whatever reason, at crucial (and non crucial) times, I've had off eye contact. It weakens that connection, and so I have been doing a "Michael Caine", where he said, "you stare at one eye, and do not blink, until you need: the power of maintaining that kind of eye contact is visible in film."
Not verbatim, btw.
thank you for all the information, you are really helping a lot of people🙏
Always fun informative videos to watch! Love it! Also.....your eye contact lol.
Have a great week clark
When someone gives you a compliment, say thank you. To do otherwise you're calling them a liar. (Smile)
Or it’s “false humility.”
This was great, thanks!
Glad to see you still have the Mustang :)
Your a wise dude Ben Affleck.
😂😂😂😂
Great video!
Great advice! Also, I can't put my finger on it but this guy reminds me of some celebrity
I’m a big believer in eye contact and how you can sense the emotions of the person you’re speaking with. I tend to always look into their right eye more than their left. I have to make a conscious effort to switch from the right to the left, and I always unconsciously shift back to their right eye. I’ve always wondered why their right eye. Any ideas to why that might be?
Just habit😊
@@Jos_zi probably, but I believe all habits have there formational causes. Is it left brain or right brain dominance? I’m not sure. It’s clearly a preference but I can’t tell where it come from.
@@bill_jennings maybe you were used to looking at people's right eye from start.I believe that's what it is but you may be right,it could be one of ur brain theory
@@sormdza3623 I'm curious....which eye do you prefer to look into?
@@bill_jennings perhaps it's a learned behavior from when you were an infant or toddler
Nice advice bud!
Great vid thanks.
I think you meant 'uninteresed' in the small talk section. Disinterested refers to not having a vested interest in a matter, like a judge should be disinterested in the court case, letting justice be served fairly. Just helping out your great content!
Excellent video
I work at Goodwill been doing the same duties for some 5 years. All they give me is part time..trying to stay focused on my job just tough I look out a window look at the sky think I rather be fishing
I was a hairdresser for many years. I always kept the conversation on them. Asking about pets is a good one.
do you have a good memory? If they told you they have a cat called whiskers, would you recall that the next time you cut their hair?
@@wintersun398 I would, remembered a lot of details about my customer base,especially their pets
@@wintersun398 I do make notes on clients. Keeps the conversation flowing and they think I remember!
Left eye when speaking with compassion. Right eye when speaking from authority.
6:50 is so spot on.
Bro got the vibe subscribed ✅
If I looked like this guy I would definitely have more success in attracting women. Let’s not kid ourselves being physically attractive helps out a lot.
Very very very good video!!!
One skill that is just as important as all these i'd say is listening and showing genuine interest. Talking about yourself too much can come across as self involved but people love to talk about themselves so if you let the person your interacting with talk and keep the momentum of their flow up it can be great for building a connection. I'd say i'm pretty good with the skills mentioned in this video but since I genuinely have ADHD (everyone claims they have nowadays) I can sometimes struggle to stay focused on something someone says if I don't have a particular interest in the subject.... Something i'm working on...
Same here! ADHD makes it hard to focus on anyone but I found that eye contact helped me maintain the flow and focus that I had in the conversation.
Never had an issue with eye contact but then find myself half way through listening to someone telling me something for ten minutes since i've been nodding along etc only to realise i have no idea what they've just said and now i'm just thinking about not knowing what's going on 😅@@notzox
I have been training to say: "Thank you" but last time someone called me "strong" I answered with: " medium strong" but that was an insult for the guy because we were lifting the same amount of weight. 🤦🏽♀️
This is awesome! 😊
Great informative video
Thanks for sharing us this video. It really helps out a lot in self improvement.
You know you are great....this is from Ethiopia, the land of origin.
You had me at "borderline drinking problem"
Sheesh. Be yourself and know that EVERYONE is afraid of something and trying too hard will make you not be you. Don't talk too much, brush your teeth, smile a lot. And... if you are stuck for something to say, begin your words with the word "because". Humans seem to believe anything that follows that word. The eye contact thing is important. Don't look directly at the other person's eyes unless you are making a strong statement. Look in their direction but not directly in the eyes... except to make a point. Read the book "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie. Available in every language.
.. if someone would look only in my direction but not in the eyes, I feel not importent or uninteresting to them.. like indeed, they only care about making their point.
doesnt feel good at all
@Babbelbet I would suggest that it's up to you to make your life better... as in YOU make the move and THE LOOK... when they don't turn away from your looking at them. I met my boyfriend on the street by following him a bit to check him out then walked right up to him and asked if he would like to come home with me, smoke some good stuff and let me, ahem... do him. He said yes. I asked him to be my boyfriend the very next day with the terms... we ALWAYS sleep together at night and I don't want to know about other guys I know he might do things with. The worst that can happen is he says no.
You keep bringing up hollow earth in your videos and it's one of my friend's special observation. And he is truly one of the most interesting person I know 😂
On compliments, whenever I hear a compliment my go to is: "What are they trying to sell?".
I always feel like people are reading my mind and know I messed up.
Really good job
I really love, "mess up twice."
Good vid
Hello nice guy am listening your lecture
.# the thing is am cooking my launch to tomorrow on work or job this great hunting much stuff
This is great!
Thank You for this information
like 👍👍
As someone who watches this video before going to an AA meeting to better connect with people, opening up with “I have a borderline drinking problem” might not be such a bad idea
cool video, but as a non-native what I'm really grateful for it's the phrase "snooze fest" 😁 thx man