Who doesn't wanna become attractive AF? 🤣So much of "attraction" is about ENERGY. This video will give you my favorite 10 tips on just that. Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
Hey man, i want to create content in a similar style however i look at social blade and this doesn't seem to pay too well, could you help me explore more of the revenue static's for your niche?
this doesn’t always work. at work i was regarded as somebody who doesn’t ever get mad. always quick to crack jokes, which nobody expects coming, & that makes everybody crazy happy because of how i deliver the punch line. most of my jokes are witty & said in good taste. but i also get to the point of just choosing to be my quiet self. though cold, unhappy, aloof, & unengaging, i still attract positive energy from people.
@@rambeau6858 I feel this. I’m the same way. It can be exhausting when some people don’t radiate it back. But atleast you’ve made others happier somewhat and that’s got to count for something. I get like you but there’s a peace in knowing you made a difference.
I was able to retire a year early due to Covid, but discovered that I wasn't ready to stop working altogether. I'm 66 now and working part time driving a hotel / airport shuttle at a major hub. Very often, when I walk through the front door of the hotel, there are many anxious people waiting for the 7am trip. No matter how busy or chaotic the scene is inside, I walk in with a smile on my face, greet the passengers, and confidently walk to the office to clock in. When I come out, people have the sense that they're in good hands...simply because I smiled, and didn't let my anxiousness get in the way. I call it confidence, without arrogance. Putting people at ease, makes them smile! All the best to you Clark.
My fiancé is not conventionally hot but when I met him there was something so magnetic about his energy that I just needed to know more. His confidence within himself (because he knew who he was) really shined through. He knew what he could bring to the table and that he was worthy and very valuable and it showed so effortlessly. He doesn't have great style haha, and there's moments where people seem to question why I'm with him, but I've never been someone who is just merely attracted to physical appearance. Energy is what will sustain a relationship in the long run. If you don't truly love someone for who they are-- the physical will die very quickly.
This!! My husband was NOT my typical type. He's very intelligent, but also dyslexic, ADHD, and had no sense of style- but he was just so quietly confident... "this is me, and I like myself. If you don't, that's OK, we can be friends, or have a nice day!" Being with a man who is so calm and confident with himself in a non cocky way was so refreshing, it drew me to him until I was able to uncover all of his other amazing qualities, and fell in love. 9 years later, he's more attractive to me than ever, both physically and mentally, and it's not based on ripped abs, bulging biceps, or a fat bank account that could all disappear in the blink of an eye. Those years of dating hot, cocky, selfish boys prepared me to appreciate a real, good, kind man.
Out of all the things you mentioned the thing that attracted me to my husband of 47 years is his confidence. He's always happy, never negative. Guys are always wanting to be around him because of his positive energy. Second thing would be his grooming habits. He's almost 67, stays fit, active and his "uniform" is always well fitted jeans with a nice logo T shirt, (Harley to be exact) and boots. That's my man for life!
It’s rare to have proper introductions these days. So I started asking strangers, “Hi, what’s your name?” Then I say, “Nice to meet you (fill in the blank) and say their name several times in conversation. Every time I do it shifts the energy in a very positive way. The stranger mask comes off and there is a more relaxed friendly vibe. Especially jobs like waitresses and servers. If I forget a name, I apologize when asking. Often the person I’m talking to is suddenly relieved, because they don’t remember my name either.
I hate when people say my name often. Like, I know my name, tell me something I don't know. It's not the sweetest word I wanna hear, at all. I know that gurus say that to people, so it feels fake, like they want something from me. I appreciate when someone remembers my name if we're not close and we haven't seen each other for a while, and then they call me in a crowd, or introduce me to someone. But why repeat it often, IDK. It's creepy.
@@SindyKaraoke I agree with this! I hate when somebody says my name to often. I become highly suspicious and it will shift the conversation to an end from me :D Like instantly...
All solid points. If you simply show up in a positive mood, listen more than you talk and put your phone away you're already streaks ahead of the crowd.
My husband says, I attract people because I smile, make eye contact and talk to anyone on any level. He said, his dad was like that and that’s what drew him to me. Positive attitude goes a long way.
I do the same: smile, laugh, am open to everyone, cheer people up, am approachable etc. And the result is, I choose the most physically attractive men to further develop anything physical only. And that seems to be my defensive mechanism in fact, so that I won't have a necessity to speak "no" So many times. Then - no, I don't recommend smiling and being happy, because it's a double-edged sword and acts against me (I needed to get stiff to cool people down to avoid speaking "no" Too often). The result is, my therapist says I shouldn't look in guys mostly for physical attractiveness, while that's the only thing that keeps me from the pain of saying "no" Constantly.
How unfortunate for you to have to turn away soon many attractions people.😢(Btw I have always been considered attractive too but have never felt the need to publicly lament my plight of having to turn away SO MANY attractive people.)😅😅😅
A big factor that nobody seems to talk about is that there has to be something that you value more in an interaction with a woman…than the women herself. This way the “thing” that you try to control isn’t her attraction, it’s something else. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but hear me out. Your “mission” in that conversation cannot be about attracting her. Because you will fall flat on your face. I noticed this when I realized that any time I was interacting with an attractive woman, yet my goal was something else other than attracting her, she would show a ton of interest and literally make it obvious. It’s something I’m still working on, because when she’s really attractive, it’s tough. You look at her when you two are talking and you wanna melt into the ground. But you gotta get past that. Practicing confident eye contact in conversation helps with this a lot. Girls know. They know when you’re attached to the outcome. Don’t be attached. It’s literally that simple. Girls love a guy who is just doing his thing and in his element. Start fixing something and explain to a girl how you’re doing it at every step and she won’t wanna leave your side.
Yes, that's because girls can pick up on people pleasing. And people pleasing is not attractive because it makes you come across as insecure and controlling. Just be yourself and stop caring about what other people think - this is the cure to people pleasing. Do things for other people out of the kindness of your heart, not because you want something from them. Love is not a feeling you get for someone. It's a choice you make and a gift you give to someone not caring about whether they reciprocate or not. Real love exudes unconditional kindness and radiates and fills a room with joy.
Man, I disagree. Women are simpler than you think. Before being in a relationship, I got many girls just by being a mix of a good catch and a bad boy 😂 Also, I’m cultured and good looking.
@@LucasTbooker You sound too in to yourself! The "women" you met may seem simpler to you but in saying that you're actually showing how damn simple you are. I'd bet a hundred trillion dollars you are not cultured nor good-looking as people who are such do not advertise it!
That first one is such a good point. Doing interesting stuff makes you more fun to talk to. People naturally become more engaged because you've peaked their curiosity.
Authenticity, Embodiment, Confidence. When we are radically within our authentic expression we are attractive. When we are embodied and grounded to who we are and what we know, we are attractive. When we are confident with all that we are and all that we are becoming, we are attractive. love!
Dr. Bruce Lipton says self-love is the most important thing. It's important for parents to teach small kids self-love, like eating healthy, being passionate about hobbies etc. He means self-acceptance. It increases an enzyme called telomeres that makes you happier, and healthier, it increases immunity and epigenetics, and it makes you live longer and look younger. Just by practicing empathy gratitude and self-love. But as Dr. Joe Dispenza says self-love is not about self-pleasure. You may enjoy your car but self-love is not about it, it's about empathy gratitude, meditation, etc.
Be yourself and feel good about you, that’s the attraction. I have always been truly me, not trying to impress, adjust to others or be something i am not, people love this.
I always thought it was ironic that women are called the "emotional " gender. Anger and jealousy are emotions too, and it's not uncommon for many men to have a surplus of those emotions, especially when younger. It definitely doesn't make a guy enjoyable- or even comfortable- to be around.
Everyone does. People are controlled by their emotions because they don’t realize that their mind is bigger than its contents. This is why meditation should be a required course in every school.
Tip 4 regarding humor really resonates with me. In my teens/early 20’s I was a low vibe/serious person with little interaction with others. Bit of a depressed mood but not depressed if that makes sense. This kinda transitioned over to my college days as well as the “working excessively hard to get out of college” amongst other things. Graduated and into the workforce I noticed things needed to change. I don’t remember how it came about but I stumbled upon comedy podcasts and it changed me forever. That then translated to watching comedy specials and then picked up cues and dialogue styles from those comedians and harnessed into my own way of communicating with others with confidence.
Just be authentic is key. Be beautiful you !!! Confidence is being comfortable with yourself; that brings people to you. Calmness is attractive in a stressful world. Thinking good thoughts your face shines like thousand sunbeams 💗
@@funbarsolaris2822 gosh how sad, you know that’s only your own thoughts being reflected back as your reality, right? Try genuinely smiling at people and see how life changes…
My mom insisted that we keep a pleasant or neutral expression on our faces, never scowling, grimacing. It was part of being well mannered, and is definitely best. Now, decades later, I have some wrinkles, but they are from smiling, concentrating. Those who frowned or scowled all the time look permanently angry as they age.
So, happy. People want happy, fun, a pick-me-up. But that’s not the only personality type, and some people always can’t be the light. I think learning acceptance for everyone, finding the beauty in everyone, is what is truly attractive.
That's why it's so important to always think of the positive blessings in your life to keep all those happy chemicals going to keep your body healthy and strong
Great video! I think it's important to mention that you can't fake these tips. It has to come from a natural place. I always had problems with loneliness, not the kind where I need a partner to feel fulfilled, but a anxious feeling to being left behind. So I started to train myself in getting better connections with friends and dates. I basically learned everything that Clark is describing but yet it didn't work. I felt more insecure and wondering "There is still something I'm doing wrong" until I released "you've completely lost yourself". In my eagerness to be a good friend or girlfriend, I forgotten to be myself. What do I mean by that is that it didn't come from a place of authenticity (point 9 in the vid) but from the loneliness fear. I was striving to an ideal version and it still wasn't enough because I was still alone Right now I'm starting to work on dropping the eagerness. I still smile a lot, ask questions, try to listen, do a lot of different things, always aware of what's going on in my head. I try to ask myself the questions "Do I actually want to get to know this person", "You're listening to your own opinions and biases, listen to what that person is saying", "Is saying yes to this going to make me happy". When I notice some positive outcomes, I try to hold on to the feeling just a little bit longer. And I think it's (very slowly) working. If you want to be more attractive doing research is important but it is also important to remember that it doesn't work if you're not applying these tips on yourself first. You can't use them as a way to solve a deep internal problem within yourself. Best of luck
Well said and very true. I think for myself personally whilst it's not just limited to what I live my life by and would not hesitate to die for. Honor, Loyalty and Respect. So I even know I do this which I give to each and all thus I then expect it in return and that alone has played a large part as to why I walk my journey alone. There have been life events that made my moral code I am convicted and passionate about that I have literally made the journey myself only. Over the past 5 years has gradually all the tragedy that hit me hard that was nonstop with the three major blows with the loss of my younger brother, then I divorced and left a real life sociopath that was out for my blood even after I had given her all of it. In the midst I lost my son, then as Clark has spoken about getting a fresh start, I relocate myself and my practice or my business and it was exactly what I needed to only have been there a year to be hit or received a call that my mother had been diagnosed stage 4 cancer that I immediately came back to take care of thinking maybe 3 to 4 months as that was what the doctors gave her. Intended on going back but it never happened. She battled and survived 19 months which I never left her side. No one to help and my brother haven passed, those 19 months nearly killed me and resulted in my sacrificing my practice my life's work and putting my personal life on a complete hold status letting my business go was like part of my identity died and was gone with it but overall it cost me nothing short or less than everything and a couple months after she had passed there in my journey began. It's been a long very long right at 6 years that I walked 100 percent alone. How I sit here alive and well to type this I have no clue. I just very recently more or less felt as if I had made my own Tiger Masters comeback. I'm not at all okay and I've got still yet a lot of letting go and gaining at least some or a little normalcy back. To keep it short the past 6 years I lived through and endured the utter impossible and I now live impossibly. It's been about 4 or 5 months since I caught my first break that absolutely saved my life with the position that presented out of outer space. I was and I still am beyond exhausted but in a place that I had lost all hope on but some how and I know for a reason as does everything in life partake everything has a reason and a meaning. So I say and I share as I know I've got a long while of the road to recovery still yet to journey and by seeing Clarks videos they all have hit home and I needed see them and I will continue to do my best to apply to my life the truth in what his videos absolutely say. That's just the very tip of the huge ass iceberg that I dare not right now talk about. Traumatic events bring about all types of other battles and if I talk about it which I plan to soon but right now it would impact me as such that I dare not go there or risk the break I never thought I'd ever get or make it through to the other side that I knew that had to be out there simply by the laws of average or the laws of numbers that I was long overdue or past the laws that they would ordinarily have been or suggested there of. I can say which I'll end it here that I don't regret what I did for my mom and if I had to again I damn well would but I would have with both logical reasoning and raw emotion as opposed to acting on nothing but my emotions. I can definitely say I've seen and I've walked in true hell and shit I absolutely pray I never go back because it did something to me that I very well may have no choice but to walk the rest of my days as one. I suppose the best words I can find would be "it is not in life is unexpected rather it is life that I never expected" before 6 years ago I literally had no idea what true reality was. I was often told I didn't live in reality and my inwardly arrogance ironically laughed inside. Man I have more than a book to say and literally a book of quotes I wrote over the 6 year stint in hell. As part of my profession or background I've written professionally going on 23 or 24 years that and again I reference what Clark spoke profoundly about which was journaling where I did the same albeit unknowingly haven witnessed first hand now every facet of life from realizing success far too young thus life grand all I wanted and even more to sleeping in my car. I digress and I do so thankful and incredibly humbly. The very little dating I tried being the total opposite the man I either once was or sure as hell thought I was has made me become so authentic as I've had 6 years in hell to for the first time ever to be alone that I finally got to myself and I had no idea who I was and still dont. Not fully. I have the entire second half of thyself as 2.0 to get know and grow but I say that I'm fairly certain that what little I've dated the reason none ever went anywhere not like the 1.0 me was due to my coming across too nice. Too humble and I've even been told that by two different girls that almost made me be at a loss for words. They mistaken genuine real and intent as pure and the respect I give as if I'm too easy and I'm weak and shit if they even slightly had a hint of the first clue, that to simply not true and contrary the furthest from and so as I owed not any of them anything I kindly smiled. I think finding the right girl or for me the one will have to have some sort of shared life experiences so that there is a mental chemistry or I will continue my own, alone and live life as I see with no she to I need to appease. Lol. I appreciate your response. Full of wisdom that I learned from and as I have from Clark. I appreciate it and my apologies for what I said would be short. My best and happy holidays to all. Kashton
Lonliness and the anxious feeling of being left behind, that is 100% exactly how I’ve felt in the past. I wake up sometimes feeling like I’ve been left behind but it’s this fabrication in my subconscious because I have dreams that entertain this idea of being left behind. But I have to remember it’s all in my head and what matters is what I do with the time that is given to me once I get out of bed and set foot out the door. Whether people are there or not, I consciously make an effort to not leave myself behind in a mental state of panic and abandonment.
Fully agree on using someone's name and asking people questions. As a university faculty, students often tell me that just the very fact that I learn their name makes them feel seen. I make it a point to be in the classroom ten minutes early and to talk to the students who are there early, not in their face, but showing interest in how they're doing. It shifts the energy in the room so that as more people filter in, the room is full of talk and laughter. Starting the class with people already smiling makes my job more fun, too.
It shows the person is interested in you. Nothing worse than someone not asking questions or getting to know you. Everyone likes to know they are being listened to and people are making an effort and showing an interest.
So interesting to hear you say this! I had a professor who did exactly that and she is on my list of all-time favorites. She was a kind and interesting person and I see that her remembering names and being there to chat before class was the start of my liking her so much. Thank you for your insight.
#8 Remember someone's name. Ever since I read that book, I do this all the time, especially when I am calling a number and need to talk to someone in a professional context. I always listen to their greeting on the phone where they say their name, and when it's time to hang up I always say 'Thanks for your help, (insert name). Have a great day.' You can literally hear their voice change because you have said their name. So even if they never see you, you are instantly more personable to them because you took the time to listen for their name and then use it.
To feel more confident, you really need to take yourself out of your comfort zone. I have been doing a very demanding job the last 6 months and can really feel the difference of how I act, react feel etc. compared to 12 months ago, in my interactions with other people. I am not so self-conscious or and not so paranoid about what people think or say. It's a hard one because I didn't choose the situation, but it has made me a stronger and more resilient person.
I kind of sing and dance around to each place I'm going. Think it helps just keep me naturally loose. I'm not saying break dance and sing and opera down the street. But you can use every day objects in real fun ways if you play around where you live.
Great tips!! One thing I always remember before socializing, especially with new people.. is that we are all very self-absorbed (self-included) so I don’t worry about what people think about me because I know they are all wondering what I think about them.
I have a slew of orthopedic issues and for whatever reason my parents preferred to ignore them and tell me I had psychosomatic issues. Fast forward a few decades and I learned that they ALL were 100% physical. So now my skeleton is stuck in a slouch. And there's a ton of research showing that gives off negative vibes as well as announce weakness. So yeah. Posture is very important.
I find ways of making people laugh and it definitely lifts the energy of the people around and injects fun into even the most mundane situations. My colleagues love that I get fits of giggles and tears running down my face. Laughing is contagious and very attractive.
hey man i really love your vids, it feels real and so well thought out. Ive always been never to sure about myself my confidence is low and i have never touched/read a single book in my whole life and after watching your vids it made me want to be a better version of my self and i started reading books. Please never stop making life changing videos.
"Say their name" Best tip! This is something I've done for years... mostly to help me remember people, but also because my name is important to me, I assume everyone else feels the same. Using their name when first meeting and speaking to them is a game changer.
It is also a sign of respect/courtesy. I had a woman work with me for 4 months and I realised she never said my name. Well it is a tricky one but when you want someone's attention you use their name. Even if people botch my name I don't care at least they made an effort.
Dr. Bruce Lipton says self-love is the most important thing. It's important for parents to teach small kids self-love, like eating healthy, being passionate about hobbies etc. He means self-acceptance. It increases an enzyme called telomeres that makes you happier, and healthier, it increases immunity and epigenetics, and it makes you live longer and look younger. Just by practicing empathy gratitude and self-love. But as Dr. Joe Dispenza says self-love is not about self-pleasure. You may enjoy your car but self-love is not about it, it's about empathy gratitude, meditation, etc.
Intelligence is attractive 😉. I like someone who can hold a conversation. I've met good looking ppl but, if their attitude sucks I can't deal with them.
Smell good. Workout. Groom yourself always. Dress simple and good. Be a mix of a bad boy and a good catch. Don’t sound dumb. Do things to impress them. Women are simple.
I just shared this video with my teenage children. I love this. This is what I’ve been trying to teach them. I do lead by example but I want them to hear this from YOU! Great video. Thank you Clark!
Thing is, those things don't actually just make you more attractive but they make you look closer at who you want to be, what hobby would you like, what questions do you want to ask, how do you want to express with clothing... I don't really have trouble with being attractive anymore, but I watched cause I just love to hear you talk sometimes:)
This is interesting, in the sense that I didn't directly learn anything from this video; the indirect take-away is, in my opinion, equally interesting. Once I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, and began caring about what others thought of themselves, these things became givens. And yes, they do make you more attractive. I never thought of myself as physically attractive, but people are drawn to me nonetheless, and now I understand why. So I'm not changing a thing in regards to human interaction, but I'm grateful (as always) that you put out content that helps us all.
I think you have a great understanding of yourself and others. You don't have to be the perfect 10 to others. Be aware of what you do to be your best real self and allow those that appreciate you to be with you. If you appreciate them for who they truly are, you have a great beginning. Looks are great but genuine people that come from their heart are usually better suited for someone looking for their equal in a life partner, husband and wife or just the start of a great relationship. The old saying of " water reaches it's own level" is more truth than people think. May love and your best person find and be with you. ❤
Excellent tips, all of them. I especially appreciated #1 about doing interesting sith so that you've got interesting sith to talk about. However, it's essential to pair that with #6, asking questions, since there's nothing worse than a supposedly interesting guy hogging the conversation at a party. The worst example is the travel bore, who goes on endlessly about some god-awful place where he had a wonderful time, whereas everyone around him hasn't had an opportunity to leave town for years and just ends up nodding their heads and hoping he'll eventually knock it off. Being interesting goes hand-in-hand with being interested in others!
This is so true. People love me but there are few that don't like me but I'm not worried because to know me is to love me and they will eventually know me sooner or later and they too will also love me, 💯% always. Life is so beautiful I swear 😎
I experienced a bad breakup and my 'big sis' suggested I cry. Not being a crier, I watched every sitcom and every standup comedy until my depression passed. I love your tips...
Laughter is good for the soul and the body it helps heal. That's why it's important to enjoy yourself do things that make you happy, and definitely take things lightly laugh at life.
So true, laughter radiate happiness and positivity. It consumes less muscles and makes you look more beautiful. It makes you live longer, how old are you ?
I’ve only recently discovered your channel, but I love how concise and relatable this content is. It’s no fluff (so refreshing) and it’s stuff that I can actually implement in my life right now.
"Nice to meet you, I have a borderline drinking problem." That cracked me up so hard 😂🤣😂! I love this nod to boundaries and pacing when practicing vulnerability. Thanks for creating this informative video, particularly the detachment of attractiveness from vanity/physicality 🙏🏼.
Self-confidence = self-competence. Love that. Confidence is a combination of doing/achieving in life and being content with yourself. Nobody else can provide that for you. Once you have that, social anxiety disappears, even when talking to girls, because their opinion of you all of a sudden isn't more powerful than your own self-confidence.
Ive been doing these things since I was 18 and realized "Im not great beauty. Imma work on my character, my heart, my intelligence, my personality." And I am really very beautiful
Being in therapy changed me dramatically, I did it for twelve years, yes, twelve years, because I needed to figure out my shit. People find me super confident because I put in the work. Nothing better.
Thank you, love these! The cringe really gets me because when I see how I act/talk in a video, my vulnerable self is unappealing to me I dislike to admit. But I can see how this real connection with others is hard to happen if I don’t allow my real self. This is good encouragement.
This is a great video. I sent it to my 20 year old son. He’s struggling so much trying to connect with people and especially girls. There are many great ideas and thoughtful ways to look at life. Great job!
Love this vid. Great advice for how to get along in the world. Great pacing, and great word choices. I would add "everything in moderation" (you call it Emotional I.Q). Too much cheerfulness reads as goofy, too much confidence reads as arrogance, too much stylishness reads as vanity, etc. I am going to work on my "Resting B. Face" (at 65, I have a lot more face to manage these days) and work on my listening skills. Thanks for making a great vid.
Jack Harlow is a great example. Looks wise, he’s average. But his energy, charisma, way of being is so pleasing. He’s funny, slick, and he knows how to talk / have great convos.
You have to feel confident and comfortable with yourself no matter what, because there are lot of people who don’t want to see us happy and try to condemn us any chance they get. How old are you ?
This is a great video. Not just about being attractive, it's all good life advice. Relationship advice. Clark, you are so articulate and put things together in a way that is somehow concise and economical but relaxed and entertaining at the same time. Thank you! 😊
All good tips...I especially love repeating people's names. I repeat a server's name in a restaurant and say their name when thanking them for more water or the check or whatever. I like to say people's name if I met someone new and I'm leaving "It was really nice to meet you, Adam"...people LOVE it! And I like making people happy 🥰
I found this by chance, but had to stop and say that you did a stellar job with this topic. I don’t worry about my attractiveness level too much…😂. But these points are valid for many things… networking, meetings, events, social and work related activities. You did great!
I disagree with the 2nd one - being smiley with a happy face all the time thing. I started to really observe this a year or two ago and noticed that some of the most confident and attractive people I come across kept mostly a neutral expression. They don't look pissed off or cheerful but something neutral and balanced. When they talk, their voices don't constantly trend up excitedly or trail away in a disinterested way. It's like an inner calm of being, and one that I find so alluring. On the reverse side, people who smile a lot with happy expressions are certainly more approachable and friendly but it sort of takes away from that composure that makes some people seem so together, and i feel it sometimes make people seem dopey. Obviously this doesn't apply across the board there are gorgeous people who are exuberantly happy and not so attractive people who don't smile but just something I began to notice.
I think that the "dopey" look is the people overdoing it. If you have a naturally pleasant neutral expression then it's probably a less important tip, but I know that for myself (naturally bitchy faced), if I have a consciously positive neutral expression (ever so slight smile), I am responded to much differently.
Gee, this is all bizarre to me. Shouldn't ppl just ..be themselves?? I sense someone "trying" a mile away. Why fake who you are? That's false advertising ..imo
@@RainingRebecca it has nothing to do with being fake or authentic, it's an observation about how some things are perceive, your presentation to the world and possibly adapting to social cues that changes how people may perceive and respond to you and that's an important skill to have. There's also a big difference between "faking" something and working forwards that same goal. For example, like you mentioned, its easy to sense "fake friendly" but if a person realizes that they're not really friendly towards others and want to change that, then tailoring their behavior towards that is not being fake, it's an authentic realization and goal. On the reverse of that, someone might realize they're "too friendly" towards others and want to tone it down a bit. It's like realizing the cologne or perfume that you really love is actually too strong so you make an adjust to how much you use. Bringing it back to my original post about how I noticed being too smiley can be negatively perceived, it's just an observation I started to make and if I ever come to the realization that I'm not smiling enough or being too dopey with it, then my authentic self can still want to adapt that towards something that could better myself
Hey Clark, very interesting talk, awareness of what you are talking about and confidence is important, also being authentic is important. Good reminder.
Bravo, my friend. You nailed it. Some of these tips are learned over time by people in business, through client interactions. Some are innate in people who are just good people. Either way, by not being self-obsessed, by expressing genuine interest in others, being humble, positive, passionate and helpful you are living the best version of you. Don't try to please, just be the best you.
I love to see me and women well dressed ❤❤❤❤I did ever since I was a kid 86yrs now. When someone walks your way and they look good you do a double take. It’s a little work but so worth it.
I used to be a negative person, frustrated with work and then talked shit about whoever “bothered” me. I made it a point to stop doing that and focusing on people’s positive traits. It ended up sticking, and now I’m known for being the woman who never talks shit like that. And when I’m around people who do, it makes me so uncomfortable. I’m so many peoples trusted source for getting things off their chest. It makes a huge difference.
I’ve had this charisma or whatever it is since I was a child. It’s powerful and for the first 30 years I wasn’t comfortable with it at all. Especially in romantic/ sexual situations. By age 40 I got it! I mean I got it! What it meant and what I can do with it. I’ve had average folks like us, celebrities, politicians, senior members of Christian religions and children comment on my gift or what ever it is. Not knowing others have said it too. All your tips are perfect but you gotta keep showing up and practicing it everyday.
This was well done and a fair assessment without coming across as creepy or some nefarious inauthentic methodology just to get laid. This is just good human behavior that has the added benefit of making you far more attractive to others in almost any situation. All ten are important and I liked how it was put in that particular order. Very doable for most people. I was impressed! Great job Clark!
You are so right about people not laughing enough!! ** another word… fake it til you make it….. **** eventually you’ll build your confidence and the charming and charismatic person inside you will come out . Also, I absolutely agree with doing different things and going to different places will make you more interesting…
My late husband lit up a room when he walked into it. He was definitely unconventionally handsome & could talk to anyone. I learned A lot of good things from knowing him ❤
I have been looking for a channel like this about self improvement and v do hanging my life. I got sober 2 years ago got over my depression and got a job doing what I love . I’m just ready to go further . I agree about the name I love it when I hear someone say my name
When I was in college, I went to a temp job at the College of Law. I saw this guy. WOW. Not for everybody but that energy between us was so thick and solid. I still watch him on FB. I could not even speak clearly to him. hahaha
Wow! You have fantastic energy, a great presence and energy on camera. You embody the aspects of many these tips - especially the humor, confidence, eq and?relatability! Fabulous ways to move through this life- thank you Clark! ❤- a new subscriber!
Clark, it's excellent to see and hear a guy who is exactly on the screen what he's teaching. Authenticity and humor looks great on you. I discovered I'm already doing over half these things. (Some of these things I'm already teaching my psychotherapy clients.) So, thank you for getting me more centered on these qualities.
The best video about attractiveness I've seen so far. Authentic, humourous, expressive, with excellent points. Well done, Clark. Your content is awesome.
And as far as the facial expression thing, I have heard my whole life to just smile, it can’t be that bad, etc. took me many years to realize, hey guys, it’s just the way my face is! It’s naturally turned down word of the corner of my mouth. I have to forcibly make my expression look pleasant.
We know everyone likes compliments & to feel special. First thing I do when I see someone, smile, say hi, give compliment, & if they have a name tag, I’ll acknowledge their name. “Do interesting shit!” I love this! Do something uncomfortable & learn something new. Not only it benefits yourself but gives you a topic to talk about with others. Smile! I love it! I turn on good music in the house & it makes me smile. If i’m taking a pic, I’ll think of something funny to make me smile. Yes, people need to smile lots more, not a weird smile, but a genuine smile. Iron! Yes, iron those wrinkled tshirts too. It’ll make you feel way better when you wear it. Not only is it warm & cozy, but it makes you look good so you feel good. Self confidence = idgaf about what others think of me (I feel like this comes with age) honestly I don’t care what others say about me, I’ll burp, pull a wedgie, scratch my back in public. Haha I love asking others questions. It makes others feel important. Great video! & great tips! New subbie here! ❤
Don’t know really why I watched this as I’m quite happy in my own skin as they say, but I did enjoy it. I’m 64 and what I think I got from this was a review of what I’ve learned over those 64 years. I wish this had been around to watch when I was a teenager. 🤣 it’s great that you’re out there helping young (and older) with these life issues. Well done! For me the one that resonated the most was tip number 9. I loved your Velcro example. Thanks for a great video. 👍🏻😎 ps. I’ve definitely had to work on my RBF over the years! 🤣
Heads turn? .... I could do that even in my 50's. Not so much now. I'll need a face lift, but I pretty sure I don't care & that's a REALLY REALLY COMFORTING THOUGHT! 😊❤
I love how you explain the other side of it when describing how to handle a situation or do something. Like when you tell someone they should say a persons name. Some people would run with that and keep saying the persons name after every sentence which comes off as off putting. I ll admit I’ve been someone who when I get advice has been the person to overdue things, I’ve literally had to stop myself from going from one extreme to the other. And I think there’s people like me who struggle with this and not enough videos on self help that give advice but explain it in a way that talks about doing it with a sense of moderation, per say. Lol I think that’s what a lot of self help gurus get wrong when trying to teach people how to better their lives is they don’t explain that part of it. And certainly for me that’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way because there’s not many out there like you that take the time to explain that -and then people wonder why the tips people like you give don’t work. And it’s not because the tips you give don’t work, it’s because people might be hitting the accelerator just a little too hard instead of easing into what it is your saying and learning not so much about what to do, but how to approach it. I’m not criticizing others more than myself about this, I think it’s a problem a lot of people have is finding a Balance when it comes to improving themselves and not overdoing things. So I appreciate that you go onto basically say, “ Do this, but don’t over do it. “ that how you do things is more important than just doing.
Great tips, Clark! It's been awhile since you popped up in my suggestions, and it's great to see you doing awesome! Thanks for being consistently positive!
Man so many TH-camrs in this niche, and all of them so similar that I gave up on believing that there were any true TH-camrs in this space. Your words really have that authenticity. I want to follow more things you have to say. Big respect man
Who doesn't wanna become attractive AF? 🤣So much of "attraction" is about ENERGY. This video will give you my favorite 10 tips on just that. Ready to change your life? It all starts with asking yourself the right questions. Get the 11 questions to change your life now (free gift for yt subs): www.clarkkegley.com/free-questions
You are so attractive, Fact.
Hey man, i want to create content in a similar style however i look at social blade and this doesn't seem to pay too well, could you help me explore more of the revenue static's for your niche?
Exercise regularly, daily, and this attracts others.
I love u... So much handsome
#1 doesn’t work when your “interesting” thing is Disc Golf! Lol
“Be the energy you wish to attract” is my motto. If you want happy people around you be the bright spark and they gravitate toward you
Even if not, most of the people around you will probably be happier after being around you enough 🤭
@@OatmealTheCrazy absolutely 😊
"The grass is only greener where you water it"
"Be the change you want to see in the world"
this doesn’t always work. at work i was regarded as somebody who doesn’t ever get mad. always quick to crack jokes, which nobody expects coming, & that makes everybody crazy happy because of how i deliver the punch line. most of my jokes are witty & said in good taste.
but i also get to the point of just choosing to be my quiet self. though cold, unhappy, aloof, & unengaging, i still attract positive energy from people.
@@rambeau6858 I feel this. I’m the same way. It can be exhausting when some people don’t radiate it back. But atleast you’ve made others happier somewhat and that’s got to count for something. I get like you but there’s a peace in knowing you made a difference.
I was able to retire a year early due to Covid, but discovered that I wasn't ready to stop working altogether. I'm 66 now and working part time driving a hotel / airport shuttle at a major hub. Very often, when I walk through the front door of the hotel, there are many anxious people waiting for the 7am trip. No matter how busy or chaotic the scene is inside, I walk in with a smile on my face, greet the passengers, and confidently walk to the office to clock in. When I come out, people have the sense that they're in good hands...simply because I smiled, and didn't let my anxiousness get in the way.
I call it confidence, without arrogance. Putting people at ease, makes them smile! All the best to you Clark.
It’s something so easy to do and so few people do it. It’s a simple acknowledgement that people want.
Kent?
Nice
Love how this video isn't about manipulating or tricking people or even attraction really...it's just about how to be a nice person. Thanks Clark👍💕
I came here wanting to be attractive, I came out a nice guy
Yes~ I listened out of shear curiosity and found the delivery to be really cute!🙏
The only bad thing about these videos is how I notice how much I've been doing wrong my entire life lol
Agreed, but I can't help but notice his skin is almost radiant. don't know if it's a camera/lighting trick or just his ski n.
My fiancé is not conventionally hot but when I met him there was something so magnetic about his energy that I just needed to know more. His confidence within himself (because he knew who he was) really shined through. He knew what he could bring to the table and that he was worthy and very valuable and it showed so effortlessly. He doesn't have great style haha, and there's moments where people seem to question why I'm with him, but I've never been someone who is just merely attracted to physical appearance. Energy is what will sustain a relationship in the long run. If you don't truly love someone for who they are-- the physical will die very quickly.
So true
This!! My husband was NOT my typical type. He's very intelligent, but also dyslexic, ADHD, and had no sense of style- but he was just so quietly confident... "this is me, and I like myself. If you don't, that's OK, we can be friends, or have a nice day!"
Being with a man who is so calm and confident with himself in a non cocky way was so refreshing, it drew me to him until I was able to uncover all of his other amazing qualities, and fell in love.
9 years later, he's more attractive to me than ever, both physically and mentally, and it's not based on ripped abs, bulging biceps, or a fat bank account that could all disappear in the blink of an eye.
Those years of dating hot, cocky, selfish boys prepared me to appreciate a real, good, kind man.
Out of all the things you mentioned the thing that attracted me to my husband of 47 years is his confidence. He's always happy, never negative. Guys are always wanting to be around him because of his positive energy. Second thing would be his grooming habits. He's almost 67, stays fit, active and his "uniform" is always well fitted jeans with a nice logo T shirt, (Harley to be exact) and boots. That's my man for life!
Saying someone's name out loud when you speak to them is magic.. the most simple game changer. With a smile of course 😁
It’s rare to have proper introductions these days. So I started asking strangers, “Hi, what’s your name?” Then I say, “Nice to meet you (fill in the blank) and say their name several times in conversation. Every time I do it shifts the energy in a very positive way. The stranger mask comes off and there is a more relaxed friendly vibe. Especially jobs like waitresses and servers. If I forget a name, I apologize when asking. Often the person I’m talking to is suddenly relieved, because they don’t remember my name either.
I hate when people say my name often. Like, I know my name, tell me something I don't know. It's not the sweetest word I wanna hear, at all. I know that gurus say that to people, so it feels fake, like they want something from me. I appreciate when someone remembers my name if we're not close and we haven't seen each other for a while, and then they call me in a crowd, or introduce me to someone. But why repeat it often, IDK. It's creepy.
@@SindyKaraoke I agree with this! I hate when somebody says my name to often. I become highly suspicious and it will shift the conversation to an end from me :D Like instantly...
In our Indian culture (& in almost all south asian &
east asian cultures as well) it's rude to call people who are older than you by their name.
@@divyamishra1024Same in Africa.
All solid points. If you simply show up in a positive mood, listen more than you talk and put your phone away you're already streaks ahead of the crowd.
It all boils down to authenticity, interest to others and sincerity.
My husband says, I attract people because I smile, make eye contact and talk to anyone on any level. He said, his dad was like that and that’s what drew him to me. Positive attitude goes a long way.
I do the same: smile, laugh, am open to everyone, cheer people up, am approachable etc. And the result is, I choose the most physically attractive men to further develop anything physical only. And that seems to be my defensive mechanism in fact, so that I won't have a necessity to speak "no" So many times.
Then - no, I don't recommend smiling and being happy, because it's a double-edged sword and acts against me (I needed to get stiff to cool people down to avoid speaking "no" Too often). The result is, my therapist says I shouldn't look in guys mostly for physical attractiveness, while that's the only thing that keeps me from the pain of saying "no" Constantly.
@@nl6067how’s it going 8 months later?
How unfortunate for you to have to turn away soon many attractions people.😢(Btw I have always been considered attractive too but have never felt the need to publicly lament my plight of having to turn away SO MANY attractive people.)😅😅😅
Sound like a slag to me
This is so true and can relate bc i do this too.
A big factor that nobody seems to talk about is that there has to be something that you value more in an interaction with a woman…than the women herself. This way the “thing” that you try to control isn’t her attraction, it’s something else. I know that sounds counter intuitive, but hear me out. Your “mission” in that conversation cannot be about attracting her. Because you will fall flat on your face.
I noticed this when I realized that any time I was interacting with an attractive woman, yet my goal was something else other than attracting her, she would show a ton of interest and literally make it obvious. It’s something I’m still working on, because when she’s really attractive, it’s tough. You look at her when you two are talking and you wanna melt into the ground. But you gotta get past that. Practicing confident eye contact in conversation helps with this a lot.
Girls know. They know when you’re attached to the outcome. Don’t be attached. It’s literally that simple. Girls love a guy who is just doing his thing and in his element. Start fixing something and explain to a girl how you’re doing it at every step and she won’t wanna leave your side.
I think someone who has passions and drive to go create or to do is just super attractive and it isn't a desperate energy but an inspired energy.
Yes, that's because girls can pick up on people pleasing. And people pleasing is not attractive because it makes you come across as insecure and controlling. Just be yourself and stop caring about what other people think - this is the cure to people pleasing. Do things for other people out of the kindness of your heart, not because you want something from them. Love is not a feeling you get for someone. It's a choice you make and a gift you give to someone not caring about whether they reciprocate or not. Real love exudes unconditional kindness and radiates and fills a room with joy.
Man, I disagree. Women are simpler than you think. Before being in a relationship, I got many girls just by being a mix of a good catch and a bad boy 😂 Also, I’m cultured and good looking.
@@LucasTbooker You sound too in to yourself! The "women" you met may seem simpler to you but in saying that you're actually showing how damn simple you are. I'd bet a hundred trillion dollars you are not cultured nor good-looking as people who are such do not advertise it!
"Be desireless. Be excellent. Be gone." - The Tao Of Steve
That first one is such a good point. Doing interesting stuff makes you more fun to talk to. People naturally become more engaged because you've peaked their curiosity.
Hey Amber, did you breathe into your balls? :) Just kidding... hope that made you laugh!
It's pique, my friend.
I don't think she cares
Authenticity, Embodiment, Confidence.
When we are radically within our authentic expression we are attractive.
When we are embodied and grounded to who we are and what we know, we are attractive.
When we are confident with all that we are and all that we are becoming, we are attractive.
love!
Dr. Bruce Lipton says self-love is the most important thing. It's important for parents to teach small kids self-love, like eating healthy, being passionate about hobbies etc.
He means self-acceptance.
It increases an enzyme called telomeres that makes you happier, and healthier, it increases immunity and epigenetics, and it makes you live longer and look younger.
Just by practicing empathy gratitude and self-love.
But as Dr. Joe Dispenza says self-love is not about self-pleasure.
You may enjoy your car but self-love is not about it, it's about empathy gratitude, meditation, etc.
Be yourself and feel good about you, that’s the attraction. I have always been truly me, not trying to impress, adjust to others or be something i am not, people love this.
Emotional intelligence is so attractive in a man. Men often lose control 😟
I always thought it was ironic that women are called the "emotional " gender. Anger and jealousy are emotions too, and it's not uncommon for many men to have a surplus of those emotions, especially when younger. It definitely doesn't make a guy enjoyable- or even comfortable- to be around.
Everyone does. People are controlled by their emotions because they don’t realize that their mind is bigger than its contents. This is why meditation should be a required course in every school.
Tip 4 regarding humor really resonates with me. In my teens/early 20’s I was a low vibe/serious person with little interaction with others. Bit of a depressed mood but not depressed if that makes sense. This kinda transitioned over to my college days as well as the “working excessively hard to get out of college” amongst other things. Graduated and into the workforce I noticed things needed to change. I don’t remember how it came about but I stumbled upon comedy podcasts and it changed me forever. That then translated to watching comedy specials and then picked up cues and dialogue styles from those comedians and harnessed into my own way of communicating with others with confidence.
Great tip 👌
Hey great to hear that, name any podcast channel related comedy
That gives me so much hope !
This is encouraging
Just be authentic is key. Be beautiful you !!! Confidence is being comfortable with yourself; that brings people to you. Calmness is attractive in a stressful world. Thinking good thoughts your face shines like thousand sunbeams 💗
Totally unrealistic for the world we live in, but you'll figure that out in time like everyone else
@@funbarsolaris2822 gosh how sad, you know that’s only your own thoughts being reflected back as your reality, right? Try genuinely smiling at people and see how life changes…
Absolutely true! Only have to look around you at older peoples faces to see a lifetime of thoughts etched there….
My mom insisted that we keep a pleasant or neutral expression on our faces, never scowling, grimacing. It was part of being well mannered, and is definitely best. Now, decades later, I have some wrinkles, but they are from smiling, concentrating. Those who frowned or scowled all the time look permanently angry as they age.
So, happy. People want happy, fun, a pick-me-up. But that’s not the only personality type, and some people always can’t be the light. I think learning acceptance for everyone, finding the beauty in everyone, is what is truly attractive.
EQ is SO underrated. I've been preaching this for years. It should be taught in schools.
That's why it's so important to always think of the positive blessings in your life to keep all those happy chemicals going to keep your body healthy and strong
All good tips. My husband calls me a people magnet. I find treating people the way you want to be treated works best.
Great video!
I think it's important to mention that you can't fake these tips. It has to come from a natural place. I always had problems with loneliness, not the kind where I need a partner to feel fulfilled, but a anxious feeling to being left behind. So I started to train myself in getting better connections with friends and dates. I basically learned everything that Clark is describing but yet it didn't work. I felt more insecure and wondering "There is still something I'm doing wrong" until I released "you've completely lost yourself". In my eagerness to be a good friend or girlfriend, I forgotten to be myself.
What do I mean by that is that it didn't come from a place of authenticity (point 9 in the vid) but from the loneliness fear. I was striving to an ideal version and it still wasn't enough because I was still alone
Right now I'm starting to work on dropping the eagerness. I still smile a lot, ask questions, try to listen, do a lot of different things, always aware of what's going on in my head. I try to ask myself the questions "Do I actually want to get to know this person", "You're listening to your own opinions and biases, listen to what that person is saying", "Is saying yes to this going to make me happy".
When I notice some positive outcomes, I try to hold on to the feeling just a little bit longer. And I think it's (very slowly) working.
If you want to be more attractive doing research is important but it is also important to remember that it doesn't work if you're not applying these tips on yourself first. You can't use them as a way to solve a deep internal problem within yourself.
Best of luck
Well said and very true. I think for myself personally whilst it's not just limited to what I live my life by and would not hesitate to die for. Honor, Loyalty and Respect. So I even know I do this which I give to each and all thus I then expect it in return and that alone has played a large part as to why I walk my journey alone. There have been life events that made my moral code I am convicted and passionate about that I have literally made the journey myself only. Over the past 5 years has gradually all the tragedy that hit me hard that was nonstop with the three major blows with the loss of my younger brother, then I divorced and left a real life sociopath that was out for my blood even after I had given her all of it. In the midst I lost my son, then as Clark has spoken about getting a fresh start, I relocate myself and my practice or my business and it was exactly what I needed to only have been there a year to be hit or received a call that my mother had been diagnosed stage 4 cancer that I immediately came back to take care of thinking maybe 3 to 4 months as that was what the doctors gave her. Intended on going back but it never happened. She battled and survived 19 months which I never left her side. No one to help and my brother haven passed, those 19 months nearly killed me and resulted in my sacrificing my practice my life's work and putting my personal life on a complete hold status letting my business go was like part of my identity died and was gone with it but overall it cost me nothing short or less than everything and a couple months after she had passed there in my journey began. It's been a long very long right at 6 years that I walked 100 percent alone. How I sit here alive and well to type this I have no clue. I just very recently more or less felt as if I had made my own Tiger Masters comeback. I'm not at all okay and I've got still yet a lot of letting go and gaining at least some or a little normalcy back. To keep it short the past 6 years I lived through and endured the utter impossible and I now live impossibly. It's been about 4 or 5 months since I caught my first break that absolutely saved my life with the position that presented out of outer space. I was and I still am beyond exhausted but in a place that I had lost all hope on but some how and I know for a reason as does everything in life partake everything has a reason and a meaning. So I say and I share as I know I've got a long while of the road to recovery still yet to journey and by seeing Clarks videos they all have hit home and I needed see them and I will continue to do my best to apply to my life the truth in what his videos absolutely say. That's just the very tip of the huge ass iceberg that I dare not right now talk about. Traumatic events bring about all types of other battles and if I talk about it which I plan to soon but right now it would impact me as such that I dare not go there or risk the break I never thought I'd ever get or make it through to the other side that I knew that had to be out there simply by the laws of average or the laws of numbers that I was long overdue or past the laws that they would ordinarily have been or suggested there of.
I can say which I'll end it here that I don't regret what I did for my mom and if I had to again I damn well would but I would have with both logical reasoning and raw emotion as opposed to acting on nothing but my emotions. I can definitely say I've seen and I've walked in true hell and shit I absolutely pray I never go back because it did something to me that I very well may have no choice but to walk the rest of my days as one. I suppose the best words I can find would be "it is not in life is unexpected rather it is life that I never expected" before 6 years ago I literally had no idea what true reality was. I was often told I didn't live in reality and my inwardly arrogance ironically laughed inside. Man I have more than a book to say and literally a book of quotes I wrote over the 6 year stint in hell. As part of my profession or background I've written professionally going on 23 or 24 years that and again I reference what Clark spoke profoundly about which was journaling where I did the same albeit unknowingly haven witnessed first hand now every facet of life from realizing success far too young thus life grand all I wanted and even more to sleeping in my car. I digress and I do so thankful and incredibly humbly. The very little dating I tried being the total opposite the man I either once was or sure as hell thought I was has made me become so authentic as I've had 6 years in hell to for the first time ever to be alone that I finally got to myself and I had no idea who I was and still dont. Not fully. I have the entire second half of thyself as 2.0 to get know and grow but I say that I'm fairly certain that what little I've dated the reason none ever went anywhere not like the 1.0 me was due to my coming across too nice. Too humble and I've even been told that by two different girls that almost made me be at a loss for words. They mistaken genuine real and intent as pure and the respect I give as if I'm too easy and I'm weak and shit if they even slightly had a hint of the first clue, that to simply not true and contrary the furthest from and so as I owed not any of them anything I kindly smiled. I think finding the right girl or for me the one will have to have some sort of shared life experiences so that there is a mental chemistry or I will continue my own, alone and live life as I see with no she to I need to appease. Lol. I appreciate your response. Full of wisdom that I learned from and as I have from Clark. I appreciate it and my apologies for what I said would be short. My best and happy holidays to all.
Kashton
Lonliness and the anxious feeling of being left behind, that is 100% exactly how I’ve felt in the past. I wake up sometimes feeling like I’ve been left behind but it’s this fabrication in my subconscious because I have dreams that entertain this idea of being left behind. But I have to remember it’s all in my head and what matters is what I do with the time that is given to me once I get out of bed and set foot out the door. Whether people are there or not, I consciously make an effort to not leave myself behind in a mental state of panic and abandonment.
Fully agree on using someone's name and asking people questions. As a university faculty, students often tell me that just the very fact that I learn their name makes them feel seen. I make it a point to be in the classroom ten minutes early and to talk to the students who are there early, not in their face, but showing interest in how they're doing. It shifts the energy in the room so that as more people filter in, the room is full of talk and laughter. Starting the class with people already smiling makes my job more fun, too.
It shows the person is interested in you. Nothing worse than someone not asking questions or getting to know you. Everyone likes to know they are being listened to and people are making an effort and showing an interest.
So interesting to hear you say this! I had a professor who did exactly that and she is on my list of all-time favorites. She was a kind and interesting person and I see that her remembering names and being there to chat before class was the start of my liking her so much. Thank you for your insight.
Good tip ❤
#8 Remember someone's name. Ever since I read that book, I do this all the time, especially when I am calling a number and need to talk to someone in a professional context. I always listen to their greeting on the phone where they say their name, and when it's time to hang up I always say 'Thanks for your help, (insert name). Have a great day.' You can literally hear their voice change because you have said their name. So even if they never see you, you are instantly more personable to them because you took the time to listen for their name and then use it.
Could not agree more Melissa! 🙂
To feel more confident, you really need to take yourself out of your comfort zone. I have been doing a very demanding job the last 6 months and can really feel the difference of how I act, react feel etc. compared to 12 months ago, in my interactions with other people. I am not so self-conscious or and not so paranoid about what people think or say. It's a hard one because I didn't choose the situation, but it has made me a stronger and more resilient person.
I kind of sing and dance around to each place I'm going. Think it helps just keep me naturally loose. I'm not saying break dance and sing and opera down the street. But you can use every day objects in real fun ways if you play around where you live.
Great tips!! One thing I always remember before socializing, especially with new people.. is that we are all very self-absorbed (self-included) so I don’t worry about what people think about me because I know they are all wondering what I think about them.
Doing posture/ back and neck exercises really helps for body language. It’s hard to be in a confident position when you are in physical pain.
So true
I have a slew of orthopedic issues and for whatever reason my parents preferred to ignore them and tell me I had psychosomatic issues. Fast forward a few decades and I learned that they ALL were 100% physical. So now my skeleton is stuck in a slouch. And there's a ton of research showing that gives off negative vibes as well as announce weakness.
So yeah. Posture is very important.
I find ways of making people laugh and it definitely lifts the energy of the people around and injects fun into even the most mundane situations. My colleagues love that I get fits of giggles and tears running down my face. Laughing is contagious and very attractive.
hey man i really love your vids, it feels real and so well thought out. Ive always been never to sure about myself my confidence is low and i have never touched/read a single book in my whole life and after watching your vids it made me want to be a better version of my self and i started reading books. Please never stop making life changing videos.
Glad to hear it! Proud of you 💪
Congrats! Good for you. If you want a good book on confidence, check out The Confidence Gap by Russ Harris. I really enjoyed it.
@@christhornham Thank you for the recommendation! I'll surely read it after I finish reading give and take why helping others by Adam grant.
Yes confident men are so attractive. It’s the way you stand and walk and take control of any situation.
"Say their name" Best tip! This is something I've done for years... mostly to help me remember people, but also because my name is important to me, I assume everyone else feels the same. Using their name when first meeting and speaking to them is a game changer.
It is also a sign of respect/courtesy. I had a woman work with me for 4 months and I realised she never said my name. Well it is a tricky one but when you want someone's attention you use their name. Even if people botch my name I don't care at least they made an effort.
Dr. Bruce Lipton says self-love is the most important thing. It's important for parents to teach small kids self-love, like eating healthy, being passionate about hobbies etc.
He means self-acceptance.
It increases an enzyme called telomeres that makes you happier, and healthier, it increases immunity and epigenetics, and it makes you live longer and look younger.
Just by practicing empathy gratitude and self-love.
But as Dr. Joe Dispenza says self-love is not about self-pleasure.
You may enjoy your car but self-love is not about it, it's about empathy gratitude, meditation, etc.
its also good etiquette.
this guy at work always says my name and i hate it , wish he would stop
I hate it when people do that name thing-feels like such a game. But then I don't care what your name is until I find out if you're interesting.
Intelligence is attractive 😉. I like someone who can hold a conversation. I've met good looking ppl but, if their attitude sucks I can't deal with them.
Great video. I'm a 34 yr male getting back into dating after a long relationship. Good to have these tips as reminders. Thanks Clark 👍
Smell good. Workout. Groom yourself always. Dress simple and good. Be a mix of a bad boy and a good catch. Don’t sound dumb. Do things to impress them. Women are simple.
Go get me tiger grrrrrrrrrr!
Meant to say go get em, but what the hell
@@yellowishdog5575 lol I think you can edit your comment
@@paradereigner oh, it's OK, some things are not made to be edited!
I just shared this video with my teenage children. I love this. This is what I’ve been trying to teach them. I do lead by example but I want them to hear this from YOU! Great video. Thank you Clark!
Thing is, those things don't actually just make you more attractive but they make you look closer at who you want to be, what hobby would you like, what questions do you want to ask, how do you want to express with clothing... I don't really have trouble with being attractive anymore, but I watched cause I just love to hear you talk sometimes:)
This is interesting, in the sense that I didn't directly learn anything from this video; the indirect take-away is, in my opinion, equally interesting. Once I stopped caring about what other people thought of me, and began caring about what others thought of themselves, these things became givens. And yes, they do make you more attractive. I never thought of myself as physically attractive, but people are drawn to me nonetheless, and now I understand why. So I'm not changing a thing in regards to human interaction, but I'm grateful (as always) that you put out content that helps us all.
I think you have a great understanding of yourself and others. You don't have to be the perfect 10 to others. Be aware of what you do to be your best real self and allow those that appreciate you to be with you. If you appreciate them for who they truly are, you have a great beginning. Looks are great but genuine people that come from their heart are usually better suited for someone looking for their equal in a life partner, husband and wife or just the start of a great relationship. The old saying of " water reaches it's own level" is more truth than people think. May love and your best person find and be with you. ❤
Excellent tips, all of them. I especially appreciated #1 about doing interesting sith so that you've got interesting sith to talk about. However, it's essential to pair that with #6, asking questions, since there's nothing worse than a supposedly interesting guy hogging the conversation at a party. The worst example is the travel bore, who goes on endlessly about some god-awful place where he had a wonderful time, whereas everyone around him hasn't had an opportunity to leave town for years and just ends up nodding their heads and hoping he'll eventually knock it off. Being interesting goes hand-in-hand with being interested in others!
This is so true. People love me but there are few that don't like me but I'm not worried because to know me is to love me and they will eventually know me sooner or later and they too will also love me, 💯% always. Life is so beautiful I swear 😎
My easy to go tips 🤣
1. Be open
2. Be curious
3. Be mysterious
1&3 don t mix (?)
@@totti.Maybe they mean..be open to talking to people and new experiences. Also don't overstay your welcome and be involved in a life of your own.
Open and mysterious?
I experienced a bad breakup and my 'big sis' suggested I cry. Not being a crier, I watched every sitcom and every standup comedy until my depression passed. I love your tips...
Laughter is good for the soul and the body it helps heal. That's why it's important to enjoy yourself do things that make you happy, and definitely take things lightly laugh at life.
So true, laughter radiate happiness and positivity. It consumes less muscles and makes you look more beautiful.
It makes you live longer, how old are you ?
I’ve only recently discovered your channel, but I love how concise and relatable this content is. It’s no fluff (so refreshing) and it’s stuff that I can actually implement in my life right now.
"Nice to meet you, I have a borderline drinking problem." That cracked me up so hard 😂🤣😂! I love this nod to boundaries and pacing when practicing vulnerability. Thanks for creating this informative video, particularly the detachment of attractiveness from vanity/physicality 🙏🏼.
Self-confidence = self-competence. Love that.
Confidence is a combination of doing/achieving in life and being content with yourself. Nobody else can provide that for you.
Once you have that, social anxiety disappears, even when talking to girls, because their opinion of you all of a sudden isn't more powerful than your own self-confidence.
Ive been doing these things since I was 18 and realized "Im not great beauty. Imma work on my character, my heart, my intelligence, my personality." And I am really very beautiful
Being in therapy changed me dramatically, I did it for twelve years, yes, twelve years, because I needed to figure out my shit. People find me super confident because I put in the work. Nothing better.
tbh, if someone keeps saying my name too much when talking to me, it makes me a bit uncomfortable lol
Thank you, love these! The cringe really gets me because when I see how I act/talk in a video, my vulnerable self is unappealing to me I dislike to admit. But I can see how this real connection with others is hard to happen if I don’t allow my real self. This is good encouragement.
Could relate to the resting face thing,a few years ago ppl would always tell me I look arrogant,while I was honestly a shy person.
This is a great video. I sent it to my 20 year old son. He’s struggling so much trying to connect with people and especially girls. There are many great ideas and thoughtful ways to look at life. Great job!
Love this vid. Great advice for how to get along in the world. Great pacing, and great word choices. I would add "everything in moderation" (you call it Emotional I.Q). Too much cheerfulness reads as goofy, too much confidence reads as arrogance, too much stylishness reads as vanity, etc. I am going to work on my "Resting B. Face" (at 65, I have a lot more face to manage these days) and work on my listening skills. Thanks for making a great vid.
Jack Harlow is a great example. Looks wise, he’s average. But his energy, charisma, way of being is so pleasing. He’s funny, slick, and he knows how to talk / have great convos.
But you are very attractive Clark- I do appreciate enjoying your good looks while I’m learning good stuff on your channel 😊
I’m a smiley person. I was once told I smile too much 😏 but that’s just who I am so I’m pretty happy to know it can make others feel happy too!
You have to feel confident and comfortable with yourself no matter what, because there are lot of people who don’t want to see us happy and try to condemn us any chance they get.
How old are you ?
I’m just the opposite,people say to me “smile”. Makes me feel bad.
I’m a little shy that’s just me. I can’t pretend. The right person should like you for you.
Why is cute and I bet you’re beautiful as well. Where are you from ?
This is a great video. Not just about being attractive, it's all good life advice. Relationship advice. Clark, you are so articulate and put things together in a way that is somehow concise and economical but relaxed and entertaining at the same time. Thank you! 😊
I’m probably a 6 but my personality and energy is a 10. People gravitate towards me ❤
All good tips...I especially love repeating people's names. I repeat a server's name in a restaurant and say their name when thanking them for more water or the check or whatever. I like to say people's name if I met someone new and I'm leaving "It was really nice to meet you, Adam"...people LOVE it! And I like making people happy 🥰
I found this by chance, but had to stop and say that you did a stellar job with this topic.
I don’t worry about my attractiveness level too much…😂. But these points are valid for many things… networking, meetings, events, social and work related activities.
You did great!
I disagree with the 2nd one - being smiley with a happy face all the time thing. I started to really observe this a year or two ago and noticed that some of the most confident and attractive people I come across kept mostly a neutral expression. They don't look pissed off or cheerful but something neutral and balanced. When they talk, their voices don't constantly trend up excitedly or trail away in a disinterested way. It's like an inner calm of being, and one that I find so alluring. On the reverse side, people who smile a lot with happy expressions are certainly more approachable and friendly but it sort of takes away from that composure that makes some people seem so together, and i feel it sometimes make people seem dopey. Obviously this doesn't apply across the board there are gorgeous people who are exuberantly happy and not so attractive people who don't smile but just something I began to notice.
I think that the "dopey" look is the people overdoing it. If you have a naturally pleasant neutral expression then it's probably a less important tip, but I know that for myself (naturally bitchy faced), if I have a consciously positive neutral expression (ever so slight smile), I am responded to much differently.
Agree. Neutral is much better than smiley. It makes people go head over heels to make you smile
Gee, this is all bizarre to me. Shouldn't ppl just ..be themselves?? I sense someone "trying" a mile away. Why fake who you are? That's false advertising ..imo
@@RainingRebecca it has nothing to do with being fake or authentic, it's an observation about how some things are perceive, your presentation to the world and possibly adapting to social cues that changes how people may perceive and respond to you and that's an important skill to have. There's also a big difference between "faking" something and working forwards that same goal. For example, like you mentioned, its easy to sense "fake friendly" but if a person realizes that they're not really friendly towards others and want to change that, then tailoring their behavior towards that is not being fake, it's an authentic realization and goal. On the reverse of that, someone might realize they're "too friendly" towards others and want to tone it down a bit. It's like realizing the cologne or perfume that you really love is actually too strong so you make an adjust to how much you use. Bringing it back to my original post about how I noticed being too smiley can be negatively perceived, it's just an observation I started to make and if I ever come to the realization that I'm not smiling enough or being too dopey with it, then my authentic self can still want to adapt that towards something that could better myself
Hey Clark, very interesting talk, awareness of what you are talking about and confidence is important, also being authentic is important. Good reminder.
Bravo, my friend. You nailed it. Some of these tips are learned over time by people in business, through client interactions. Some are innate in people who are just good people. Either way, by not being self-obsessed, by expressing genuine interest in others, being humble, positive, passionate and helpful you are living the best version of you. Don't try to please, just be the best you.
I love to see me and women well dressed ❤❤❤❤I did ever since I was a kid 86yrs now. When someone walks your way and they look good you do a double take. It’s a little work but so worth it.
I used to be a negative person, frustrated with work and then talked shit about whoever “bothered” me. I made it a point to stop doing that and focusing on people’s positive traits. It ended up sticking, and now I’m known for being the woman who never talks shit like that. And when I’m around people who do, it makes me so uncomfortable. I’m so many peoples trusted source for getting things off their chest. It makes a huge difference.
I am a female and I appreciate what you are teaching men.
I’ve had this charisma or whatever it is since I was a child. It’s powerful and for the first 30 years I wasn’t comfortable with it at all. Especially in romantic/ sexual situations. By age 40 I got it! I mean I got it! What it meant and what I can do with it. I’ve had average folks like us, celebrities, politicians, senior members of Christian religions and children comment on my gift or what ever it is. Not knowing others have said it too. All your tips are perfect but you gotta keep showing up and practicing it everyday.
This was well done and a fair assessment without coming across as creepy or some nefarious inauthentic methodology just to get laid. This is just good human behavior that has the added benefit of making you far more attractive to others in almost any situation. All ten are important and I liked how it was put in that particular order. Very doable for most people. I was impressed! Great job Clark!
You are so right about people not laughing enough!!
** another word… fake it til you make it….. **** eventually you’ll build your confidence and the charming and charismatic person inside you will come out .
Also, I absolutely agree with doing different things and going to different places will make you more interesting…
Remembering and using someone's name, humor, confidence, smiling!! All great tips that I use, but love the reminder to keep them going. Thank you!!!
The number ONE of any list
PERSONAL HYGIENE !!!!
Don't smell pudric !!!!
My late husband lit up a room when he walked into it. He was definitely unconventionally handsome & could talk to anyone. I learned A lot of good things from knowing him ❤
I have been looking for a channel like this about self improvement and v do hanging my life. I got sober 2 years ago got over my depression and got a job doing what I love . I’m just ready to go further . I agree about the name I love it when I hear someone say my name
what did you do to become sober , im trying and its super hard
When I was in college, I went to a temp job at the College of Law. I saw this guy. WOW. Not for everybody but that energy between us was so thick and solid. I still watch him on FB. I could not even speak clearly to him. hahaha
Wow! You have fantastic energy, a great presence and energy on camera. You embody the aspects of many these tips - especially the humor, confidence, eq and?relatability! Fabulous ways to move through this life- thank you Clark! ❤- a new subscriber!
Clark, it's excellent to see and hear a guy who is exactly on the screen what he's teaching. Authenticity and humor looks great on you. I discovered I'm already doing over half these things. (Some of these things I'm already teaching my psychotherapy clients.) So, thank you for getting me more centered on these qualities.
The best video about attractiveness I've seen so far. Authentic, humourous, expressive, with excellent points. Well done, Clark. Your content is awesome.
I think this is very good! Avoid, as he says, inappropriate self disclosure or talking about yourself too much.
And as far as the facial expression thing, I have heard my whole life to just smile, it can’t be that bad, etc. took me many years to realize, hey guys, it’s just the way my face is! It’s naturally turned down word of the corner of my mouth. I have to forcibly make my expression look pleasant.
Same
I was embarrassed to click on this video but there was some solid advice here. I’m gonna start journaling and watching more of your videos.
when I take a deep breath around my wife (of 40 years) she yells at me... "now what's wrong." I have to watch how I breath around her.
Why do you stay?
thank you so much for being yourself here, its so nice to listen and watch
Lol so true! Thanks so much Clark! Wow great tips for breaking out of this last year of true depression when I lost my FATHER who was my best friend
We know everyone likes compliments & to feel special. First thing I do when I see someone, smile, say hi, give compliment, & if they have a name tag, I’ll acknowledge their name.
“Do interesting shit!” I love this! Do something uncomfortable & learn something new. Not only it benefits yourself but gives you a topic to talk about with others.
Smile! I love it! I turn on good music in the house & it makes me smile. If i’m taking a pic, I’ll think of something funny to make me smile. Yes, people need to smile lots more, not a weird smile, but a genuine smile.
Iron! Yes, iron those wrinkled tshirts too. It’ll make you feel way better when you wear it. Not only is it warm & cozy, but it makes you look good so you feel good.
Self confidence = idgaf about what others think of me (I feel like this comes with age) honestly I don’t care what others say about me, I’ll burp, pull a wedgie, scratch my back in public. Haha
I love asking others questions. It makes others feel important.
Great video! & great tips! New subbie here! ❤
Happiness 😊 is attractive.
Connections happens around the rough edges… love it
I think alot of beauty is in someone's feminine or masculine energy
Laughter is the best medicine in induces all your positive hormones which pledged your body with happiness and healing.
Always such good advice and so well expressed! Thank you Clark! Keep on doing what you do!
Don’t know really why I watched this as I’m quite happy in my own skin as they say, but I did enjoy it. I’m 64 and what I think I got from this was a review of what I’ve learned over those 64 years. I wish this had been around to watch when I was a teenager. 🤣 it’s great that you’re out there helping young (and older) with these life issues. Well done! For me the one that resonated the most was tip number 9. I loved your Velcro example. Thanks for a great video. 👍🏻😎 ps. I’ve definitely had to work on my RBF over the years! 🤣
Energy is everything!
Heads turn? .... I could do that even in my 50's. Not so much now. I'll need a face lift, but I pretty sure I don't care & that's a REALLY REALLY COMFORTING THOUGHT! 😊❤
Another amazing video, Clark! Thanks for sharing!
Cheers from Brazil!
Woah, I didn't expect you to name drop Elliot Hulse! I've been a strength athlete for 13 years and I used to watch his strongman content. Small world!
video is great but the light in the back is giving me a headache
Lol you should dim your screen. I didn't even notice it😂
I love how you explain the other side of it when describing how to handle a situation or do something. Like when you tell someone they should say a persons name. Some people would run with that and keep saying the persons name after every sentence which comes off as off putting. I ll admit I’ve been someone who when I get advice has been the person to overdue things, I’ve literally had to stop myself from going from one extreme to the other. And I think there’s people like me who struggle with this and not enough videos on self help that give advice but explain it in a way that talks about doing it with a sense of moderation, per say. Lol I think that’s what a lot of self help gurus get wrong when trying to teach people how to better their lives is they don’t explain that part of it. And certainly for me that’s something I’ve had to learn the hard way because there’s not many out there like you that take the time to explain that -and then people wonder why the tips people like you give don’t work. And it’s not because the tips you give don’t work, it’s because people might be hitting the accelerator just a little too hard instead of easing into what it is your saying and learning not so much about what to do, but how to approach it. I’m not criticizing others more than myself about this, I think it’s a problem a lot of people have is finding a Balance when it comes to improving themselves and not overdoing things. So I appreciate that you go onto basically say, “ Do this, but don’t over do it. “ that how you do things is more important than just doing.
Great tips, Clark! It's been awhile since you popped up in my suggestions, and it's great to see you doing awesome! Thanks for being consistently positive!
Man so many TH-camrs in this niche, and all of them so similar that I gave up on believing that there were any true TH-camrs in this space. Your words really have that authenticity. I want to follow more things you have to say. Big respect man
Man this are really really helpful. I had troubles thought out life. Trying to change. I started to watch your stuff your awesome 👍