The INTP Dating Mindset
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
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Today I discuss what mindsets I believe the INTP should put them into before they dive into the dating world. Topics:
Why INTPs are gifted from Ti/Ne
Quick overview of INTP Cognitive Function Stack, with comment about dating
Why INTPs can struggle with dating
Mindsets the INTP should be in when trying to find a romantic partner
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As a female INTP 1 I married my best friend who treated me very well.
Successfully rejected Ni critic. I plan on doing that as well. Communication is honest and clear. We (he is ENTP) are doing very great so far.- fellow INTP
Gives me hope! I suck at life.
i wish my infj best friend would do the same.
life is not a fairly tale, though.
Too complicated, i think i rather be a loner than trying to proof relationships lol
I feel that the INTP in my life was the nicest person and I found him insanely attractive. The only problem I had was in him acting too distant over time to the point of feeling like I would be bothering him if I approached him, so I didn't. I just figured he didn't like me as much as I had originally thought, and gave up thinking otherwise. I think your reccomendation of acting distant could backfire in the fact that expressing interest in someone is a two way street. If you act distant to the woman she may mirror you and think your just as disinterested in her as you will end up thinking she is in you. So I think this in particular might be bad advice, especially for INTPs interested in an INFJ. INFJs will not want to bother their crush on a simple whim that their crush might chance to like them back. We don't want to intrude. So it's actually more ideal if you have some kind of invitation or door open for them in some way. My crush played tennis, and I loved tennis and I was really hoping he would ask me to play, but I was also trying to get the nerve to just ask him to play, but I was too afraid of intruding to approach. Open a dialog at least! Definitely don't jump the gun on dating dialog, but just open the door to some kind of dialog or activity. It will be really refreshing for an INFJ, who generally enjoys INTP banter. Work on your life, but braid them in, in a way that you are clearly on your own firm foundation and building while they are also invited along for some of the ride.
True 😊
Great point! I cover this a lot in my newest video on flirting!
@@intpsurvivalguide2473 already watched it. Lol. Can you make one for the other types trying to figure out how to best ask an INTP out? Or how the other types could help encourage an INTP to feel like it's safe or maybe even logical to take that step themselves? I've been thinking lately the Ti just seems to kind of negate feelings absorbed via Fe whenever something involves our own interests as almost a protective measure, or to cancel out the potential for personal biases influence on others outcomes. It's like we use the Ti logic to induce an Fe harmony by subtracting out our own needs from the situation for the benefit of the others potentially unspoken needs, wants, I think. I think we just mask it in logical reasons, when it's really that we just don't want to accidentally disturb the others peace or objectives. The image that inspired my thinking around this was the awkward penguin meme, where half the body is moving forward and the other half backward. I think Fe is seeing an opening to move forward on something, but Ti takes just as many steps back to ensure its the most logical decision, but instead this can often turn into an awkwardness of never actually ever getting ones own needs or personal interests actually met, because our personal interests will always be coming from a subjective place. But maybe it also comes from my Ni not wanting to disturb another's Ni path or plans. I honestly don't know which type has it worse at this point. Lol
Edit- Shit that came off super coarse, and I didn't mean it like that. Bleh I am tired and not going to to spend the time editing, please know This isn't meant to be shitty, I actually liked your input.
It wasn't personal, but you were bothering him. You are wrong, and right. Dating is a cat and mouse game, but all parties are both the cat and mouse, INTPs can be super adaptable, if we approach it right this is beyond simple for us.
@@jamescah9230 Not coarse, just maybe a tad out of touch with the facts, but that's ok. You are tired. I am tired. We are all tired. I need to stop peopling for awhile. Kind of feeling over people and their misplaced feelings. But the reason I said what I said was because we later hooked up, and he said he liked me, but I go at life with extreme levels of self doubt and I actually pre-cancel myself out of others lives for fear that I might risk bothering them, before getting the chance to even bother. I literally walk through life over compensating for the risk of bothering anyone, so that is how I know your point is just factually invalid. I just was afraid to approach. They are a self admittedly shy INTP, and I was simply overthinking my whole life. It was all in my head. I'm just saying the advice to ignore will just create more of what I went through for others, and that had costed me a lot of years of depression for what I realize now, was for literally no reason. The guy actually liked me, and my particilar assets.
Totally agree with everything! The mystery part is huge. Let's say you can play the guitar. Don't tell her that you can; wait until it just happens. You're at a party and there's a guitar but no one can play but you. When you start playing, that WILL have an effect, because you didn't spoil it beforehand. This is great advice for basically anyone really.
My secret to confidence is dating is choosing a place I enjoy and having no expectations beyond an interesting conversation. There is no pressure on me for something to happen so my being relaxed relaxes them and the communication flows well. With Ne its easy to flirt as far as the woman appears comfortable with and if I can get them talking its easy to improvise and keep things light. Trying to initiate more intimacy before she appears open rarely works, but humor and capitalizing on openings she shows to me is a natural Ne strength. Ti is rarely helpful in dating beyond knowing which tool in my stack I should use. I'm happy with my ISFP gf and my Fe inferior though it is was helpful in connecting to her Fi hero. A strength of our relationship is that exploring my Fe is safe with her.
As a woman I agree with some of the points you talked about and I like what you say here. But I think the idea that women like guys that dont pay attention to them is inaccurate. We need attention and we do want to be a priority. But a man that has no drive, motivation, direction or purpose is never going to be attractive. Thats like a child. And it makes us feel burdened and not taken care for. Men who are attractive have a direction they are going to, something that they are trying to achieve, some purpose that they gave themselves and follow, and staying loyal to that no matter what SHOULD be a priority. Abandoning who you are, what you want to achieve, whatever your mission is for a relationship with a woman, says to us that those things werent really that important to you and your character is actually weak. That doesnt mean we dont want to be number one tho, it means we want to be number one to a man who is loyal to himself and what he wants. Generally speaking men that exhibit those traits tend to be jerks (i mean generally not always) but that doesnt mean we like jerks, it means we prefer what i explained EVEN if that makes them a jerk, sometimes. For some women. I'd rather be single but I guess you get the point, its an example and a generalization, I'm not describing everyone in every situation. - btw im INTP too and I know how hard this is for us, but we need to get over Ni critic and Se trickster at some point and I think we can.
I would like to add that nice guys finish last because GENERALLY, stereotypically, the nice guys are just.... nice. thats it. They have no other quality to themselves. And with that you can be a good friend but you'll never be attractive. However, you never actually have to stop being nice, just add stuff to your life and character like a purpose, hobbys, interests, activities you like, strenght, integrity, etc. while also being nice. Youll be the hottest man ever. So dont quit being nice, or rather KIND would be a better character trait to develop than niceness. But thats it, being nice is not a bad thing actually, just make sure its not your only asset
TRUE! I'm an ENFP and i completely agree, I've always been fascinated by how Smart INTPs are(which is very attractive), I don't even think they'd need to make extra effort. And again you shouldn't generalise women.
+
@@PAU31090 basically, dont be a nice guy. Be a good man.
I'm an INFJ woman. If a man becomes distant I assume he doesn't like me so I bail. Be nice to an INFJ woman but not soppy. Consistency is so important. However you want to communicate make it consistent.
Being in a relationship currently, this is still solid advice for maintaining that ‘momentum’ - thanks!
Couldnt agree more. I've managed to get into relationships big and small, but its maintaining them which I struggle with
attraction grows in space
About Te nemesis, it often leads the INTP to think that people around him are stupid and don't have a clue
"And Fi demon I won't cover that too much here"
Because you don't care about your feelings haha 😁
HAHA nice!
Idk dude... A lot of the advice on this video is based upon a lot of assumptions you make about what women want (which are not entirely accurate or generalisable). Instead of advising someone to work on traits to suit what they think others want (which is hard to do 'cause forcing yourself to develop a weaker function is as inefficient as teaching a right handed person to write with their left hand, and also because assuming you know what others want is a recipe for disappointment) it is in my opinion better to become better at communicating what you want to others and spotting people whom you like that would appreciate what you already have. Just throwing it out there 'cause the whole "women like Se dom guys" passages were really painful to sit through (speaking as an ENTP who abhors Se)
Maybe not all women but most women are SJs who have Si in top 2 so there is some truth to that and intp men are compatible with ntj women who are like 1% of the women population
If my husband had not put me first I would not have been interested in him at all.
OK well I am talking about the MAJORITY of women, not just you personally. Maybe realize everyone is not like you? And you can improve your traits because I HAVE DONE IT MYSELF. If you are correct, why are nice guys so rejected? Why do the "bad boys" get all the women while nice guys get left on read? And this is about meeting woman, not relationships. Obviously you will want to have a RELATIONSHIP with someone who fits you and your wants. But the first step is getting women attracted to you, and I believe this is the best way. If all you got is "I'm ENTP so I don't like Se" and "Communicate better" then I think you need to tell me a better way than that. Thank you for the comment I love to debate!
@@zlatanibrahimovicisbettert7980 Thank you for pointing that out. SJs themselves make up almost half the population so it is kind of a give yourself the best percentage chance thing.
It's probably true for most/many women but should you go for most women or should you go for rare women who may like men who have Si as a child function?
Like perhaps ISFPs INTJs and ESFPs. And where do you find such women? ISFPs probably hang around a lot at art gallerys (my guess).
I agree that from their perspective, if you are too responsive and available it might appear that you have nothing better to do with your time. Which is not necessarily the case because you might be the type of person who likes to interact with her and you make time for her. You might also be the type of person who can easily switch between tasks and like to respond back. I agree that they have these assumptions but they do not always match with the reality of the man.
Yes that maybe true. But I'm talking about responding IMMEDIATELY every time. I do not think that would come off as attractive. But you can kind of match her... If she is texting back immediately every time you text this would be more appropriate to text quickly back. Thank you for your great comments and watching!
This explains EVERYTHING. I literally did everything wrong according to this video.
This stuff just doesn't come naturally to INTPs. But thank goodness for our minds so we can learn and adjust. Thanks for watching!
You should probably have clarified that this is mainly (if not entirely) for INTP men, because so far it has not been particularly helpful for me.
Yes I should have specified that probably. If you check out my last video on making yourself a catch that should have quite a bit on women and dating.
@@intpsurvivalguide2473 Will do, thank you.
As a female INTP, I have to say that I don't like wallflowers or asskissers, something that people tend to think is what "being nice" means, but I also don't like rude or forceful men who don't respect boundaries or make fun of everything either. The advice I can give from a female perspective is: be yourself, if she doesn't like you, she's not for you. What's the point of getting the girl now to enter a nightmare of a relationship that won't last or will be hell?
As an INTP woman who’s been treated like garbage from “high value men” who have the mindset of nice guys finish last so I’m just gonna be a complete POS since women want to be treated like garbage then that means they must be garbage and then good women with good intentions get fucked over and their INTP potential just gets poured down the drain and the confidence that EVERY INTP man or woman has the right to have, just gets cut down and ripped away from them, Im 27 now and up until 4 days ago upon learning that I’m an INTP and now everything makes complete sense to me about everything i struggled with and lacked, up until then I truly believed I was the stupid idiot that everyone said I was for thinking the way that I did, I became annoyed with myself because all I was ever useful for was to just think, that’s all I ever do is just think all damn day non stop. After being gaslit by others for so many years without ever knowing anything else outside of what I’d experienced (which was me being constantly manipulated by others, especially in the form of gas lighting, which btw is basically what this video is teaching MORE men to do) after a certain point all the BS from the manipulation/ gaslighting/ lies/ people pretending to be something they aren’t, the insane amount of build up of literally nothing in my life making any kinda of logical sense at all and I self destructed, single handedly burned my entire life to the ground while I went after the people who had put me through so much intense abuse and then threw me away like garbage be of course all women want to be treated like garbage right? I developed CPTSD and my entire mental health went to shit. Once the life id spent so much time investing in and building was really nothing but ashes on the ground, I lost all motivation to even try to live, I made several attempts on my life and do you know how humiliating it is when you feel like you’re a failure and like there’s nothing you can ever do right to make anything better for yourself or anybody else you care about and then you try to end your life, but YOU CANT EVEN DO THAT! It’s the worst feeling I’ve had to go through, scratch that the worst feeling is the feelings of the day to day of not wanting to live but not wanting to die either. My mindset became extremely cynical, pushing nihilistic at times, I’d lock myself in my closet and refuse to come out for several days, I refuse to answer my phone when anybody calls me, and if anybody wanted me to go out and do anything with them outside of my apartment, you bet your ass the only way that happened was if i went kicking and screaming the entire way to their car, then eventually people stopped trying to get me to go anywhere and then they just stopped trying to be around be all together. Now I’m stuck in this Ti- Si loop of death that feels like it’s impossible to break out of, my entire support system that I had left after id fucked up my life (which was like maybe 3 or 4 people, let’s just say 3.5 I guess) they all walked out of my life because I was to intense, every made me believe that I was crazy and a complete idiot that had no idea what I was talking about, when the entire time, I knew exactly what I was talking about! Idk if I can get out of this loop without any kind of support to give me that little push when that’s all I need in order to do the thing I’m avoiding doing, but we’ll just have to see I guess 🤞. The slide at the beginning of this video that talks about the struggles INTPs have in dating was the only valuable information in this video, but being an INTP woman I’m used to being a doormat, I actually sympathize with those nice guys that are finishing last because I know exactly what that feels like, so far in my life I’ve always been the one to finish last too even though I was always doing everything for everyone else, trying to make everyone else’s life easier even if it made my life more difficult…. This video isn’t helpful or beneficial for men who are gonna get a women who is a “high value woman” whose worth that title of a wife, the “women” this video is beneficial for knowing how to attract is just straight up dumb women, and really the majority of them yes granted are pretty fucking ridiculous, to the point to where I’m ashamed to have a vagina and a set of boobs, I get labeled like I’m one of these dumb garbage women but I’m nothing like them, I can’t even build relationships with other women because I just don’t think like they do or care about the same shit they do. I’d rather have a nice guy, that’s why the relationships I’ve had with men when they mirror to me what I want from a partner, they are insanely nice to me and as time goes on, once they have me trapped and locked in, that’s when they begin to treat me like I’m not Shit to anybody and like all I’m ever gonna be is a worthless woman who’s only good for doing what they say when they say it, no questions asked, or else….. if men want a dumb female who is shallow and doesn’t really give a shit about them regardless if they are a nice guy or a not so nice guy, then go ahead any follow the advice given in this video, but just know you’re only contributing to the problem instead of helping to make it any better for yourselves, but if you want to attract more caring and good women (yes, they are out there, not many of them but they are out there, probably just about as many of them as there are “good” men out there. ) attracting real women who will actually give you that happy and fulfilled life because they support you and genuinely love you, DO NOT listen to this advice, this advice just promotes the steamrolling and destruction of women who actually aren’t like other typical women, this shit ruins good women and then the cycle just continues cause that good women got treated like shit and destroyed by a man that has this kind of “nice guys finish last” attitude, now that good women is not so good anymore so she goes and does the same to a good man or a “nice guy”, then nice guy turns to not so nice guy, so on and so forth…. As a logical personality type, think about it, if you ultimately want a long lasting healthy relationship with a woman, do you really believe having the attitude of “nice guys always finish last” is really gonna help you get that kind of relationship? Doesn’t sound very logical or realistic to me, try instead treat others the way you would want to be treated and when they treat you like shit then you decide if you’re willing to tolerate that in you life or not. That sounds more logical to me, that’s reason why INTPs are known commonly to form “covert contracts” in their relationships in life, or have the attitude of “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”…..
Great first few minutes of this video, but after that, I couldn’t believe what I was hearing from another fellow INTP, just sounds like information coming from a man that at one point or another was a good man, but now is a good man that got hurt by a shitty female a time or 2 so now he’s training other men to be emotionally unavailable, abusive piles of dog shit that ultimately go out and ruin the kinds of women their trying to find but they say don’t exist, good decent understanding women that can potentially support you the way you need a woman to support you and take care of you, y’all are squashing whatever remaining population of women like that there is…
I totally agree 👍🏼 the cycle of hatred must be broken. This is done by treating others as we would like ourselves to be treated and not leading with our ego.
I didn't have problems with dating but I never liked it to be honest. The reason for it is that in a dating the person uses to show something that is not true, faking almost everything and avoid to get to the point. I am married now and my husband is extraverted, he helps me a lot. He is straightforward and I love it.
Glad you found a partner who understands. We INTPs are powerhouses but we need help many time. Thanks for watching!
Good .. what is his type ?
As an INTP woman, I think part of it is valid, or it can be, but it's put way to simple.
I, for example, really hate being texted all the time, that's true, but it's more because i feel threatened in my own freedom, than anything else. It puts me under a lot of pressure, so it really is big No-No for me.
But I have friends who can not share enough of their lives with their partner, and are happy to receive updates like every two minutes. So, sure, maybe one preference is more common, then the other, but I think it would be wise to figure who you are dealing with beforehand, and also to know what your needs are, and if you are compatible.
When in the presence of the guy I'm dating, though, I really like to feel like I'm very important to him.
Not to the extend that I'm the only thing on earth that matters to him, but I really enjoy feeling appreciated and like I'm top of priority in the moment.
Also, I only had actual relationships with nice men, and I prefer it that way, while in fiction I tend to like the 'bad guys' more. :D
And, as a principle, I only enter relationships with guys I really like on a platonic level as well, wich means for me that they have to be somewhat open minded, good for conversation in general, somewhat educated etc... These are huge points of attraction for me.
Oh, and I generally tend to do better with guys who are more extroverted, than I am, and who reach out to me more often, than I do to them. Same with friendships.
So, yeah, maybe as INTP I'm not a good representative for most women, but that's not my point.
My point is that this kind of dating advice with it's recipe like instructions and generalisations is kind of pointless in many and even damaging in some cases.
It depends hugely on who you are and who you are looking for.
There is everything RIGHT about being a nice guy...
The problem is when being nice is all there is showing about the guy... Like it seems to be his only quality. Women are human and want the see the full spectrum of who you are. We don't trust when all we are seeing is your "Sunday best for mom's sake"... That's not a relationship
It'd be cool if you can make videos of research Studies on INTP personalities, there are a lot of studies on google scholar. This is really good self-development. Thank you Tyler
Thank you for the suggestion I will have to look into these
Comment for algorithm. Keep it up man. You're on fire 🔥🔥 o
Thank you!
This is mostly evolutionary psychology if anyone is interested. PS: Thanks for making these videos. Pls continue to make more videos on Ti hero stuff - how do I stop procrastinating etc.
Thank you for the kind words. Working on a new video today
Yeah, yeah, yeah, basically have a good paying job. Well, I wasted years in college and I live in a poor area that is low income and no one will hire me because I have no experience. So I am stuck, in this prison and each year it gets harder.
Poetically spoken.
Maybe you could get rich being a writer/poet.
Peace
One idea that I’ve had for a while is to build the date ahead of time then even if she says no go on the date. Then let her know what experiences you had. I believe it’s called mastur-dating
Good points, good presentation!
Thank you for watching!
Oh child, you have so much to learn about women
what's the point of talking if you can't talk about what you do?
shouldn't there be a back and forth?
nice guys finish last is false as far as i can tell, the problem is some guys (especially "nice guys") think romantic relationships are like questing in a game, i did 5 tasks for you now be my gf, while in reality you have to make your intentions clear else you be put into the friendzone and then back up your intentions with follow through and exectuion.
Woodgrove represent.
I have mixed feelings about some of the suggestions. There's a bit of a manipulative games in some of it. Perhaps it depends on how much I like someone but I might be turned off if a guy came off as too "playa". The challenge might be to find your own unique "not nice" edge that's genuine yet playful, that would jibe with the person you like.
I've probably watched a thousand of the PUA (Pick-Up Artist) videos, and they all say this. HOWEVER, we ARE different. Most women are simply not attracted to INTPs, nor are we (after we finally figure out that a relationship with "this woman" would be a complete nightmare) attracted to them. Most women will simply not work out for us. They look pretty, but they're ugly on the inside.
The best personalities that work out with us are INFJs, ENFJs, and two other T-types that I will totally reject as other "guys" even if they're really girls.
INFJs will find a way to find you, but you do have to put yourself out there, where you can be found. The big question is whether or not all of those PUA techniques are going to work on a girl like this, who can see through all of that fake confidence. She might also be quite offended at the type of treatment that these guys recommend, since INFJs are quite sensitive.
INFJs have a much keener sense of personalities and the type of men (or women) they're interested in (mostly us), and they can likely spot one of us a mile away. We cannot, however, spot one of them unless they come up to us and hit us with a stick. They are also rare, like us, only 1% of the general population. If you're in college, you'll see a few more of them, likely in the psychology department.
The only thing is, you do have to have some confidence to move forward with them, because often, they'll approach you, or make themselves "present" (imagine they're stalking you, the way you would stalk a pretty girl who totally hates you). I've let too many INFJs slip away because I didn't seize the opportunity to move in, even when they push me to go out with them.
Most recently, a girl at the gym was stalking me (the more correct term is "hover"), so I struck up a conversation with her. We slid into an interesting discussion and a while later I simply asked what her personality type was and she said, "INFJ".
So when you see a woman hovering, that is, as you move from one place to another, she might be seen nearby in a number of different places. On machines at the gym, if you move to one machine and she sort of slips over and finds her way nearby, on another machine, after about the second or third machine, you might want to just say "Hi" to her and see what happens. If she's an INFJ, likely you flow right into a natural conversation with the most amazing woman you've ever met. Be sure and get her number.
How do you meaningfully improve Se as an INTP male? Just curious what's worked for others.
You can't really. Its your shadow. What you can do is use experience on specific physical to not appear clumsy at them. But you will be betrayed by your se at some point. Use your ego functions to go arround it, that can work too as he said. But there are weaknesses you never get rid of.
Work out more, listen to "angry" music, create or don't back down from conflict. Just a few things. Really comes down to confidence too
Read the power of now. The author is intp too. You can develop any function if you have the right information to affect it. Don't be limited by oh it's your shadow, that's bullshit
To me the video sounded like this: "How to be a better INTP: become a normie" - sorry, but there's very little I can get/use from this
I also found that women who do not like men who are straightforward with their intentions also tend to be drama queens or too emotional. They may consider being transparent and honest as a weakness. Younger women tend to be more like this. On the other hand, I agree that it builds attraction.
Great content. Agree with every word you said. But once you start understand a person more you can improvise from there. Thank you for watching!
Isn't "like men who are straightforward with their intentions" and "view being transparent and honest as a weakness" contradictory?
@@sadlittletroll1738 Fixed. "do not like"
Always be straightforward. Those that are turned off early are those that will drive you nuts long term. You as an INTP will want someone that doesn't see small talk as important, but someone that will see getting to the chase as attractive.
@@rogerhuggettjr.7675 Agree.
Coach Corey would be proud of you. I think it would help if you shared a success story. Feed your audience's Si a lil bit.
Girls with trauma wounds are attracted to bad guys LOL Girls are attracted to all types of guys depending on the type of girl!
But yes the push away, pull in builds attraction for sure!
I'm an extrovert I love introverts coz they chill me out, and help me relax. I tend to prefer Ti/Fi type personalities also as a Te user (ESTJ).
Ive found intelligent guys tend to chase me like the INTPs & ISTPs, by getting my number calling/messaging etc, daily mind you, visit me at work etc, and they are the quite introverts commonly... so they will chase you if they see the right girl!
The ones who are super nice to me/best friend type are INFPs I call them Mr romeos, they are great at melting my heart romantically, but they will never chase you Ive found, just stare at you and always be around smiling finding excuses to talk to you... till you get the point LOL...
My girlfriend is actually an ESTJ. We work well together, although that Fi inferior can be hard to handle at times
Gold.
Thank you James. Glad you found it helpful. Have a great day!
Ok... So agree about INTPs need to help each other. We tend to eat each other rather than support, this needs to end because there aren't many of us. The few of us there are have likely been picked on our entire lives, but want the approval of those who abuse us. It's fucked up when you actually look at it. While that tends to change for females eventually, for males it will last until they change. Ti/Ne combination means you literally think differently, and can be a social powerhouse. We can not approach the same problem, society, like everyone else. But this is what everyone does, and largely why we aren't successful. Want to learn how to attract people, treat it like you would any other problem. Read, watch, study learn. Develop your persona. I literally made metrics about what to say, when to say it, when to smile, which smile was responded to, the color of my shirt, my haircut. What different groups of people responded. Most importantly, I learned body language. Sure I don't like looking into someone's eyes for 3 or 4 seconds, yes I time it, have a slight break then right back in with a slight side smile, and paying attention to eye corners, brow, shoulders, mouth corners checks, and if the light is good the light hairs on the skin (those can be awesome for lies), while partaking in a conversation that isn't about me whatsoever, that has to remain engaging without playing 20 questions. Society is nurture, so study it. I approached the problem in the only way I understand the world, using logic reason and data. Sure I have emotions to, but like the hulk, you don't want to see me emotional, because that means we went past apathy, and INTP truth bombs are what happened to Nagasaki and Hiroshima, look it up. You know what, to the maker of this channel, let me know if you want some input, and we can collaborate. I have a ton of work under my belt, because nobody told me shit, I had to figure it out, and it takes forever like that.
as a female I could not disagree more about your interpretation of what women want and what women will hate. This is me speaking from not just my point of view, but from experience with other females that I've met, talked to, been friends with, witnessed certain events that you yourself talked about, but just interpreted the entire situation wrong. I'm not surprised you did tho, most people do so it's okay. No women is attracted to someone cause they're a jerk and we do actually not only appreciate, but we love when a guy shows interest in what we do etc.. The reason it often happens that a woman sticks with a "jerk" is because those jerks have more confidence in themselves, when a guy gives impression of being independent in a way where he would do just fine without us, and not put us on some pedestal like a kid who got his first girlfriend and now it changed his life. We like to be on the same level and not below or above, when you think about it, women are attracted to guys who are more "chill" about the whole thing and not make a big deal out of it and not see us as aliens.. We like guys who are unapologetically themselves and not try to "adapt" constantly just to make someone else happy (cuz in the long run it doesnt make the other person happy and when ur being yourself and find that you arent a match, then you arent a match and thats it, you saved yourself some time). Thats why its often mistaken with "jerks" cuz those jerks will always have the confidence to be themselves and will show independence where their life will be just fine weather you decide to join their journey or not. What so called "nice guys" tend to do is (besides being nice, which is good), they also constantly do things they don't like just to make a woman happy.. its nice sometimes, but you lose yourself in the process if you do this often and your personality doesnt come off as strong, but rather boring. You can be nice and loyal without bending yourself to fit that other person. You said it yourself, its very unattractive when a guy is clingy. We like guys to have their own things they're doing, their own personality, their own hobbies... cuz if you dont, what is there to be interesting then, if you're always whatever we want you to be..
Lol as an INTP wamon who observes my other wamen, women like being treated nicely. Try to distinguish "nice" from dominance and playful/harmless aggression for those watching. Yeah, you can say if we're generalizing that women are conditioned to like dominant men, but hoo boy when you're both dominant AND nice that is such a turn on. It's possible to create the tension you're talking about without being an ass. And who cares if you finish last if that was the case - you end up finishing and have some good conversations along the way, isn't that what an INTP finds fun? Distinguish "being successful and having hobbies" from being unavailable (because this can mean emotionally unavailable), because we do care that our men have their individual interests and ambition, but it's still nice when they're present (and NOT pushy)! Perhaps some of the generalizations are about young women who do just want to play a game, but for men reading, do you want to play games with random women or do you want to just be yourself, communicate organically, and have someone you actually want to stick around? I think the takeaway is don't try to be a high value person so that you can treat a gal like you're too busy in order to attract them, just be a high value person for yourself and people will gravitate to you naturally. It's solid advice in the video and im all about self improvement, but the lens is just a bit distorted in a weird way that encourages self improvement for the sake of getting women to like you in a convoluted way. You did touch to approach dating by just having some fun, and that means not having soo much ulterior motive regarding women! Live for yallselves men! 😁
Great comment! Yes I want to lead them to being a good person but not necessarily a "nice guy". I touch quite a bit on this in my latest video. Also being "unavailable" has nothing to do with emotions. I just don't want them texting/calling every 5 minutes, which is what I find many guys doing. I think if they did that the woman would be turned off. But yes maybe I need to be more clear on all of this. Thanks again I love seeing these!
@INTP Survival Guide Yes, great video! Thanks for that, I know it's something simple enough for a sane person to read into if they wanted, but it's not always the case. It has the potential to be misinterpreted is all, which warrants attention. They are definitely behavioral adjustments that can tangibly be broken down and worked on for the male gender role, so great stuff
69th like N I C E
Jokes aside, I'm glad i found this channel. Keep up the good content man.
Thanks for watching!
Ugh 6:20 smack me in the face with your truthful words, why don’t you! 😖
Truth hurts sometimes lol
I'm not saying I completely disagree with what you're saying, but it's all very surface-level and partly misrepresents the underlying dynamics
Easy just gotta change my sex, and when I become a man I just magically turn ESTP like. xD
Oh boy, people don't do those things just fully accept yourselves, and that's it.
You are trending on reddit and BTW.... maybe try to get to know women better than making guides about how we work
Really? Good to know. What specific points do you disagree with? and do you have any arguments to the contrary?
Yikes, now I understand why INTP males are considered incels lmao.
Yeah we don't usually do too well so that's why I'm trying to help 😂. Do you have specific points that you disagree with?