The INTP Fe Explosion + Loneliness
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2024
- How do you handle your darker moments? What do you think causes them? Feel free to share below or email me at erictheintp@gmail.com. If you find people expressing their struggles, give them an encouraging word! :)
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I think losing people is incredibly hard on INTPs...
As I'm becoming older, I'm also getting lonelier. And more scared of losing what I've already got.
Also, when I get sad I just walk. For as long as I can.
I'm also haunted by memories of people I've lost touch with. Makes me feel so so sad that we're not really friends anymore. How you can at one point really trust someone, open up and discuss everything and a year later, if you saw each other, you'd both feel awkward, maybe not even greet... It's so sad...
SatellitePlane I think everyone feels that way but people recover faster than others (mainly extroverts).
I think Infp, Infj, intj and Intp tend to struggle with this the most though.
SatellitePlane The 4 experience the struggle in different ways from each other.
Im INTP and went through this kind of shift, with almost the exact same opinions about my old friends and experiences.
It's been 5/6 yrs and I'm still looking for my tribe. Ive struggled a lot at getting open and vulnerable. Ive been very guarded and conservative, my heart is not wide open like it was so these memories of the past dont go away and my new experiences dont leave as strong of an impression. I know im making better choices and decisions but I miss my open heart.
Melissa Try getting one infj, infp or enfp healthy friend. They are intuitive feelers and they’ll make you feel comfortable being open and vulnerable. (I’ve heard Isfj’s help Intp’s also).
Mewkuro12 .0 aw thanks :)
Youre right these are all the types in my life now actually! Weird. It took a while to get to this place... we'll see in 5/6 more years how i turn out!
I am an INTP. I have found that intense exercise has really been beneficial for me. I've heard INTP do make good athlete. The physical exertion gets you out of your head and into your body. Running, weight-training, etc. get you out of your head in a way that walking does not.
I ride my bike and I feel so free.
As an INTP, that dog would surely pull me out of the darkness of my Fe explosion and loneliness...Smiling as I watch this.
My friend once described me as an "overly emotional robot"
My reaction: interesting. *Sips tea in the head*
So apparently i am overly emotional for the robot genre & i'm not emotional enough to fit among humans.
I've heard it said that INTJs are the coldest humans, and INTPs, the warmest machines.
Laugh.exe yes the humans are befriending us and learning to accept us as their own
@@jamersbazuka8055 this si beyond perfect
@@Flabbergasted-yl4hv INTP's conscioussness should become the software of robots in the near future
@@jamersbazuka8055 Love Who? reference😅
My INTP is exactly like this. He tells me that I am the light that keeps the darkness at bay.
Oh that’s just let the emotional me out and run as I’ve just lost the most beautiful and wonderful person I’ve ever met…
I'm raising an INTP son and your insight is helping me understand him better. The poor kids as an ISFJ mom but I'm doing my best :)
There’s nothing your son will appreciate more than you learning how to understand him. ❤️
Awww that was very sweet of you,. I am an INTP and my mom is an ISFJ like you, we definitely are very different and it was difficult during my teenage years hahahahahahah we never see eye to eye in basic practical things ( i was too laid back and lazy for her and she's too anxious and a worry wart to me) and our interests looks like two different dimensions to each other. But I am happy to tell you that our relationship went better after some time as we both put an effort to understand each other's personalities and thought processes.
Hi, I'm an ENTJ female and have a INTP boy friend. I don't have any kids yet but I really want them some day. And for four years I have been trying to understand the people in the world around me through MBTI. I think it is so interesting that one day I will have kids and I will try to understand them through MBTI as well. And i just want to applaud you for trying. Some parents don't even try and it is so sad.
INTP kid here with an ISFJ mother, I applaud you for doing this. I've recently gotten my family into MBTI and they're trying, but I often say I should've come with an INTP instruction manual at birth. "How to care for your INTP". One thing I'd say is that nothing has ever made me feel more undervalued than being told to stop over analyzing and that my thoughts didn't matter. I will spend hours organizing my appeals to logos during disagreements, and being told to just stop thinking doesn't click for me. The thing i value most about myself is my logical analasys, so telling me to stop over-analyzing makes me feel unvalued. Appeals to my emotions just don't work in situations that are logic-based from my point of view. Another thing is that it is sometimes really hard for INTP's to understand emotions, but that does not mean we don't have them. My mom is very emotional and feeling, so often she tells me that she feels like I don't love her because I don't know how to really express emotion in a meaningful way (something I'm trying to work on). So know that as hard as it is for them to show it to you your INTP child does love you.
It's scary how it's exactly how I *feel* during the "Fe Explosion". The video is relatable on a Spiritual level!
I think that Fe Explosion kinda comes like a reality check. I'll be super engaged in my fun projects but then I get hit by this Fe Bullet Train and realise that I need to pour myself more into the connections I have. I've lost a couple of close friends after I got into college so now those fun memories have become more like haunting memories. It's still easier to build friendships during the early years of life but then..... Don't we have to move on in life and build more connections?!
The worst irony is that I stay home most of the time and find myself unable to truly build a strong connection with people BUT I wish to have more friends in life.
The only way I manage to get out of this dark phase is by sleeping for LONG hours with a hope to get out of it but it's just getting bottled up.
Still unsure if I'll be able to survive The Loner Phase.
This was 10 months ago dude, hows it going?
@@alexjimenez8413 we lost him PepeHands
Too true ...especially the haunting memories of those better times, the lost "pique moments" that wonderful woman and the wonderful emotional bonds you shared till ya messed it up... that lost state of physical prowess...that lost mental acuity...that sense of lost potential to manifest the best of possibility to be the very closest you can ever be to being a decent Human being.
Lin Yen Chin I have just experienced the same thing and I couldn’t have said it better myself. I may or may not have shed a few tears reading your comment.
those are the moments that remind me of being at 'home'
Damn i see this happening to me
Oh shit, Hey Lin Yen Chin, so your a INTP as well. Go figure. It actually makes sense, your comments on the live chat be on point.
Lin Yen Chin fucking sigh bro
Hey man I'm an INTP and much older than you. We will always struggle with friendship because we are specialists. We dive deep waters and we have a disregard for non logical people who seem too shallow. We value intelligence and people have trouble because people can't pull information like we can. They seem irrational and we get turned off by their obvious inability to learn from mistakes.
My advice is find something you are passionate about and find a real human way to meet people interested in the same thing. Not on a computer.. real people. It will be easier to relate.
Also you are INTP you don't do well in boxes. I was raised christian and id say study religion learn your own truth and stay out of other peoples yokes. It will only bring you down. Also from experience be careful of blanket statements prejudging people when you have no Ne experience to rely on. You will find that people are far different than you expect and hearing someone say people at bars are bad is just using someone elses rationale and you will wish later you had formulated your own opinions.
I think you are struggling with Fe learning how to mimic what you are taking in with Ne. We all do it and it feels like faking it. But you will find an Enfj or some f out there that helps you. Go out gather data.
If things get dark for you reach out. Clinical depression isn't an INTP thing. Good luck.
Exactly. For most people stupidity is a blessing cause they can fool. For us is like Why don't you use your brain? The process is exactly as you say. Greetings of another INTP way younger than you 😊
And thanks for the advices too
I maintain that INTPs (at least myself and others similar to me) need to be alone but also need to know they aren't alone. I do find the term 'Fe explosion' when they're also subject to Ti-Si loops. It's the strength of the Ne that can pull me out of this but when I'm around the wrong people it can get worse. Right now I know I need to change the people I'm around. I go on walks 2-3x/week, always alone but sometimes meet people during the walk (ok, I play Pokémon Go). I like the minimal interaction but also appreciate it for what it is. I do miss the close interaction deep friends offer and, yeah, I spend time thinking about when I had friends like that. I know some of them are a FB message away but it's still not the same as being together.
Best thing that works for me is writing poetry. Pouring it out vents what I need to release.
Whenever I've been in a depressive slump, one of few ideas that's given me a sense of purpose to climb out of it has been the idea of helping others who have been in the same dark abyss. This topic always reminds me of Plato's Allegory of the Cave. He described epiphany & enlightenment as a light so bright, it would blind you when you first made your way up the rough ascent from the dimly-lit cave of shadows, representing the fetters of ignorance and false truths. Yet, once your eyes adjust, so to speak, you are better equipped to go back and retrieve others who are still bound in the dark, now that you know the way. For only those who have been there and back have the metaphorical map.
Ironically, when I was in the midst of depression, I saw the depression itself as a kind of enlightened realism, and happiness as a kind of self-deluded denial, in line with the phrase, "ignorance is bliss." Yet once I climb out of it, I realize how hypocritical that view is -- that depression itself carries its own fatalistic false truths. Allowing yourself to take the risks necessary to be happy can be exceptionally difficult for the distrusting. Yet I believe gaining the ability to help others climb out of the hole you were once in is the silver lining that makes the experience meaningful, and incredibly meaningful at that.
Heather Bryant Beautifully said. I can relate.
Heather Bryant that was beautifully written! You have a real talent !
Your words are amazing, thank you. Truth.
100% agree with you. Indeed it's a very good way to get out of that "state of mind" (not sure how to call it, my bad). It had helped me and also other people to get through it a lil bit more faster and without being so harsh with ourselves during that emocional state. And even tho I still question myself if I'm actually being helpful by sharing or doing the things I wished someone did for me during those moments, it still is somehow useful in some ways
-An INFJ
I did a happy jig when you mentioned being a Christian. There’s a certain kind of love and self-awareness exuding from someone who knows God, and you certainly have that. Thanks for sharing your mind and heart with the world
- a fellow Christian INTP (who also struggles with slumps)
There are other INTP believers out there 😭. There is hope for us haha
@@sheldonsawyer4782 mood
How you are doing that? For sure you have went deep into the concept and you haven't noticed how illogical it is?
@@sheldonsawyer4782 yes🔥
@@Siara87 took me 25 years and a crazy “rocks are magic” ex-gf to break the cycle. I’m not against religion or spirituality, I’ve just looked them all up and down and I don’t get anything from them. Looking back I can tell I was never really there, just didn’t want to “burn for eternity”
The way you initially describe the slump as "lying in bed not wanting to sleep because you haven't been productive yet not wanting to do anything because of the slump you're in" is super relatable for me. It's seemingly quite easy to fall into these "dark holes," especially when nostalgia strikes and it occurs to me that all those joyful moments are just memories now and they are essentially gone perhaps never to return. I think this serves as a reminder to be present, those memories are just that: memories. There is no re-experience when it comes to these things; the most that really comes of them is a self reminder and what reflection that follows. Inspiration ebbs and flows, and when it recedes it's easy to fall into a "why bother" mentality, when that happens you just need to wait it out until the tide rolls back in. I'm glad that you're excited about moving into your new place, and to any INTPs (or any type for that matter) out there who are struggling: hang in there, and I'm rooting for you.
Aye, another Christian INTP right here. It's so crazy hearing someone else say the thoughts I've been thinking, but unable to say. I have a hard time with words sometimes. I enjoyed the video. 😊
INTPs are the least likely type to believe in a religion. It's kind of difficult to wrap my head around it because I see the Ti Logic function ultimately chasing truth and reason. It becomes irreconcilable when so many things in religion is factually incorrect. So I'm curious as to how you hold on to your faith when logic stands on evidence?
Can you give me your WhatsApp number + the number of your country !? I am an INTP I want to know you .. please ☺️
@@dp2791 I think people often assume that believing in a creator is ONLY a matter of faith. I'm sure most, if not all Christian INTPs would be able to provide logical reasons for their beliefs. I'm not saying faith doesn't play a role in that, because faith plays the biggest role, but... the universe can be explained through creation just like through evolution, only difference being that evolution is still a work in progress, and creation already has an answer for everything. I'm definitely more familiar with Christianity than any other religion so it's easiest for me to rationalize that one. I'm not sure about religions that require people to believe incorrect things so I can't speak for all obviously.
Daniel Pham It’s because I don’t accept that truth is only derived from a naturalistic empirical epistemology. In fact, such an epistemology cannot justify itself and would be in fact undiscoverable without philosophy. I don’t think I have met someone who has contempt for believers when they truly understand the arguments for God’s existence and still reject them. Those with contempt for believers typically misunderstand or don’t bother to understand.
@Zalaxci the lavistachurchofchrist.com has answers to many of your hangups. Just a thought.
You've probably recieved this hundreds of times but, it's very therapeutic to hear my thoughts being voiced by someone else. Kind of like a different kind of reflection of myself. I'm pretty good at omitting those thoughts out of my head to prevent myself from being sad, but all that bottling up really does come back to bite. It's a lot easier to vent online than in person, but even then, I rarely share my feelings with another person. I get depressed when I realize that it's my own fault I'm lonely but, I just can't help but keep those thoughts to myself. Thank you for the vid
INTP here. This video is spot on. I'm 25 and recently experienced what you have. However, I see this lonliness as a blessing. Without this lonliness, we wouldn't seek emotional connections (which God knows we need so direly) and it pushes us to pursue them.
It gets us to cherish our relationships when we do have them. It makes us extremely quality-oriented, in the sense that we'd never have a relationship that isn't of highest quality and value and is going to last for an eternity.
These "slumps" are difficult, but they became to me a good type of difficult, like the difficulty of lifting heavy weights. I embrace it and use it to push me further-- not out of fear of being lonely- but out of love for the sense of belonging (like that feeling you get when you are safe and comfortable at home) and personal growth a romantic relationship harbors.
Just want to say I really appreciate your vulnerability. That’s a valuable thing that a lot of people aren’t willing to do. I’m an ENFJ and I find it interesting that I relate to a lot of the things you’ve said in this video. It was very encouraging so thanks!
When I was about 5 or 6 I thought nothing really mattered and I was is in my own world. Doing whatever I wanted
i wrote a song at 15 called "What Matters?". Questioning life is good, though.
What's truly terrifying is just how specific and detailed INTP experiences are.
What helped me the most with my INTP problems is the fact that i do sports and eat clean and high carb. It's like approaching loneliness from the opposite direction: instead of being alone to recover and regain energy, i add more energy. still have the typical 2-3 hour walks every 2nd day, but it doesn't pull me down like it did when i was younger.
Ok, so I thought about what to comment since you uploaded the video. I am a female INTP. I took the test 4 times just to make sure 😂. I can relate to the Fe explosions. Most of the time these were the reasons why I avoided relationships since I felt too vulnerable and I thought no one would understand this deep pure emotional world that I have inside of me (which comes to surface rarely but it lasts too much imo). So, from my experience, I have a hard time letting go of people (and I feel very ashamed about that). I will talk about feelings because I am a person who wants to evolve and I am starting to make a difference between thinking and feeling. What have I realized is that sometimes, what we find logical clashes with what we feel. Like, we find it logical to let go of our drugged friend, but deep down we are very hurt that we can’t do anything and we are left alone... more specific lonely. We are left lonely... and then, lonely means no meaningful interaction which sends us to not fulfill one of the important human needs : socializing. But since we are INTPs we look for meaningful talks. Actually I have my friends set in cathegories. I have my day to day friends which most of them are ENFJs, concert friends, nerd friends, hermit friends, emo friends 😂. Another thing I discovered is that INTPs have this tendency to bond with people who have mental issues and try and help to the extent that they focus their mind on someone else... and we also have a talent to attract weird people. Sometimes INTPs make obsessions with other people because they don’t understand how their pattern clashes with our own (I think that is the main reason). I think younger INTPs have a tendency to be more turbulent than assertive but maybe it’s just my opinion. I know personally one INTP guy and he barely leaves the house. Why I don’t get along with him? I find his ideas too rigid, too black and white sometimes and I am more open to viewing all the posibilities. He doesn’t understand why I am wasting my time talking to younger people... hmpf, because it’s another generation? I wil be a psychiatrist one day? They are nice people even tho younger? Btw, I am going for my second college degree. I hope I will get in and most of my colleagues will be 6 years younger. I also get hit on by younger males because they think I am 17 and I am actually 25. Now... when I study and I am in this neverending pit of despair, I overthink the books like I say, even tho the information from the quiz is found in the book, I will certainly fail, something very unexpected will happen, I will have a question from a paranthesis from the left corner from page 234 and I will fail, miserably. It would be a very long post to continue but the main idea, in my experience, the Fe explosion is focused on failure : as a human, as a future doctor, as a genius (cuz in this period I really feel like a genius who isn’t understood by others 😂)... if only I could tell people the way I feel... it would be easier. But since logic is the way we cope with life, we become oblivious to our emotional needs and dismiss them as being not relevant.
Teddy I also find myself attracted/drawn to people with psychological issues. I have a history of dating such people -- those with bipolar disorder in particular. Schizophrenics and schizoaffectives likewise seem drawn to me. To put it bluntly, "normal" people are boring. There's no challenge there. I like enigmatic puzzles, as well as the idea of understanding the musunderstood. I can see how this might be an INTP trait. For me in particular, Ti dom started compensating for inferior Fe +Te Nemesis struggles by intellectualizing the frustratingly emotionally-biased behavior of others. Thus, psychoanalysis, which was also fueled by Ne, became a hobby of mine at a young age. I actually used the be a Psych major but became disillusioned with the field and eventually went down the "hard science" route.
Btw, I just wanted to say that MBTI tests aren't always the most accurate, so taking the test 4 times is not necessarily a measure of certainty. Some say the test is only as accurate as the the self-awareness/honesty/impartiality of the person taking it, which does tend to be higher for an INTP. Yet it's also dependent on how well it's written, how thorough it is, whether it tests for cognitive functions or dichotomy stereotypes, how results are depicted, and how ambiguously the questions are worded. I know I, in particular, will pick apart the technicalities and ambiguities of meaning in an unclear question until I see too many dispirate possibilities for what it's actually asking...then I don't know how I should answer. The "nuture" influence of socialization/enculturation can also skew results. Some people type based on microexpressions because they're less under conscious control. Yet, the most accurate method I've found so far is typing based on determing temperament and interaction style. This allows you to not only type yourself, but others as well.
Heather Bryant I find the tests not 100% accurate too. Actually, I started organizing my time because it was more efficient. My procrastination is mostly due to organizing stuff over and over again just to make sure my work is not in vain. After realizing that I scored as an INTJ lmao 😂 but I do not consider myself the most organized person. I must say that I have anxiety disorder and I am still developing as a human being. In my case, I act as an INTJ when I simply put my fears aside, but mainly I am acting like an INTP. I am quite new to this so my conclusions might not be 100% accurate, I am still trying to build a pattern that mostly matches myself and later I can see how it matches other people. My main focus is how my disorder affected my brain and my perception towards reality so I could draw a conclusion and see what should be worked on.
Culture and society definitely has its impact on our development. Honestly I grew up in a family where females were thinkers and males feelers. My grandpa raised me and he is ESFJ and my mother is ESTJ and I personally think her c*appy attitude contributed to my anxiety disorder a lot. I mean as a child you need emotional support and what she offered me was just the idea that I must be perfect and the best but not better than her because this is the truth. So this also contributed to me rationalizing everything in order to not get hurt. I was more of an ISFP child actually 😂 . I had lots of emotional needs, always crying, very introverted and tbh I don’t think this changed. It’s just somwhere inside, locked in like 100 boxes and covered in heavy chains. After these being said I think that our families contributed the most to our development as persons and most certainly not everyone reacts in the same way as others to the environment. I was actually thinking right now that maybe thinkers in general were emotionally deprived in early childhood. What do you think?
Teddy The way you describe your procrastination process (through organizing) actually sounds like it might stem from your anxiety. The repetitive nature, in particular, is reminiscent of OCD or OCPD. Just a thought 🤷 Repetitive ruminating thoughts are a hallmark of anxiety, and I think it's fair to say people who struggle with various forms of anxiety have other repetitive behaviors. This brings up the question of how psychological issues may influence or possibly cloud perceived personality type. It's super fascinating, but I think too big of a topic to delve into right now.
Oh lord, two SJ's... Extroverted, no less. 😦 I feel your pain... I honestly think I would have blown my brains out. That temperament still rubs me the wrong way, but would have clashed with me so hard during my teenage years.
Interesting hypothesis. I can say that's probably true in my case, but I'm not sure if the correlation is causation. My dad is an ISTP but was in and out of prison most of my life. My mom was not emotionally prepared for parenthood and I remember when I was inconsolably sobbing my eyes out as a child, it was like pulling teeth just to get her to give me a hug and it felt very awkward. My mom also grew up in a dysfunctional environment deprived of emotional support though, and she is an INFP. Now that I think of it, perhaps the lack of affection encourages introversion. I ended up very guarded. Even as a child I came to realize the only person I could depend on was myself, which lead me to look to myself for everything from meeting my survival needs to mental stimulation to emotional support to problem solving. Very true that the Feeler-female/Thinker-male stereotype is pervasive and encouraged in many cultures. But Thinkers still have feelings and Feelers are not all mushy. INTPs do indeed feel emotion; they just don't trust emotion. They are wary of the feelings of themselves and others, and tend to view them as a source of bias. I also came to view emotional vulnerability and display as a source of weakness that could be exploited (as it often was in my family). But when INTPs do let out their emotion it can often be quite raw. When I express empathy or even excitement over something I'm interested in, I'm told I come across more INFP. And when I do reveal my hurt, people who thought they knew me well are shocked. But the prevailing theory is that you can only be one archetype, and this type establishes part of our "Nature" (which does imply a genetic element). Any changes you see in your personality are more likely the result of either: developing inferior/aspirational cognitive functions, shadow functions, subconscious aspirations, or superego "reset" in times of extreme stress. Technically each type has 4 personas, each a different type -- the 4 sides of the mind. So according to that theory, the way we are raised influences which functions we aspire to develop or suppress, as well as other traits MBTI doesn't measure, and how integrated the 4 sides of our mind are; yet our ego's archetype shouldn't change over time. However, if Jungian personality type does have a genetic element, this also leads me to wonder if the "Nurture" influence has an epigenetic element. 🤔
Thanks for summing that up. I am a female INTP as well so i can really relate to this. Lacking emotion is a really common misconception to us. Its there and its overwhelming, scary and the only way to cope is to be rational. Aside from fear of failure, I also noticed the fear of rejection common with intps in general. Which can also explain why you dont go on relationships.
I can relate to this so much. It's quite interesting that by having the same brain functions we can relate this much to one another. The thing about not wanting to show our feelings 'cause we know how deep and intense they are and how easily they can be hurt is exactly what I feel (and feeling lonely 'cause of the lack of real connections). I kind of wish that all of us could have at least one or two friends of the same type so that we would have someone who actually understand us.
Christian INTP, almost all of what you said resonates with me. Depression, unproductive inactivity late at night, diminishing friend groups, non-traditional college (my three closest friends are married or getting married within the next 6 months, I'm starting my "junior year" in college). Being taunted by old, nice memories because the possibility of ever having them again feels out of reach.
I want to support others in their endeavors, but it feels incredibly not-reciprocated. I feel like I'm so behind everyone else and there's crushing expectations on me as the "smart one". I had a conversation with my pastor (school project) and I honestly had moments where I felt I understood my faith better than he did, and he's a professional with decades of experience, extremely trustworthy and reliable, and his dad started the church I attend (his dad is an INTJ).
Everyone goes on about "changing what you can" or "fixing yourself" or being proactive, and I'm just like "I'm bored. My faith is the only thing stopping me from being a nihilist or worse. My anxiety and depression are playing pong in my brain on a daily basis, and I can't fix the socio-economic pillars of our culture that are causing the underlying issues I face. I don't want to lead, but it doesn't feel like anyone that is leading is making any effort to find an objectively sustainable solution.
The slumps are just so deep and dark. I feel cut off, and I don't know if I'm doing it or everyone else is. I need to observe and catalogue everything, but I feel powerless to do anything with the information, and end up with a perpetual "why bother" mood.
I don't know how to get out of the slump most of the time. I'll have the rare lucid day where I'm excited about something new, but that excitement is failing quicker and quicker. I'm becoming more aware that gathering info without use is... well... useless.
Relationships are a fear to me. We live in a hook-up culture when we want nothing of the sort. I want something deep and real. I want to know someone before I engage in something deeper. It's very backwards from how culture wants us to relate.
Most of my dark times are caused by thinking about something terrible happening to my best friend (an infp) or thinking about him hating me or something like that and I just lay in my bed and cry and pray for him. He’s like my only true best friend and he’s the only person that I actually care about and he’s just great and if he wasn’t in my life I’d have nothing to live for. We hardly ever hangout cause we go to different schools now but when we do hangout after awhile of not seeing each other we always have so much fun and sometimes that fun is simply sitting next to each other and not even saying anything, and once I go home I get really sad and kinda depressed cause I’m not with him anymore, but also I’m exhausted from being in a social situation.
I'm a Christian INTP. I will be a missionary. I like learning languages, but I want God first in my life. The languages will help my work at some point.
So much information to process from this video, had to pause to write this comment otherwise I’ll forget what I wanted to write.
I slightly teared up at the part where you said your fun memories turned to ‘haunting memories’ as I realised this has also happened to me. At night when I’m trying to sleep my brain often throws memories or thoughts at me and I find it difficult to sleep. I am afraid that I’ll never have those happy moments again as I’m leaving university in a month and the chances to find people to hang around with and have fun with are slimmer.
Which brings me onto the point where you said you don’t want to have shallow relationships with people you don’t have the same values with... I completely agree and am similar as I find it difficult to make friends and whenever I make a ‘friend’ but realise this person has a negative effect on me or they just aren’t the sort of person I want to be around... I turn into a hermit and avoid them until they eventually get bored of me and leave (thankfully).
I’ve realised that if I just agreed with things and wasn’t so blunt in my day to day interactions then my life would be SO much easier... however I have this feeling in my gut that if I don’t disagree with something that someone said (no matter if everyone else in the group agrees with them), I’ll feel guilty for not standing up for what I believe in.
Now back to watching the video...
Yes! I have a hard time with myself too. I feel like a buttkiss and I associate that feeling with the person till I'm almost nauseous. Some people just rub you the wrong way ya know?
Angie I think you being honest is a good thing personally. It shows to other people where you stand with things and who you are instead of all the passive aggressive bull crap a lot of people do. Sure, you may hurt people’s feeling and you can learn from it, but they know where you stand.
You’ll bring in genuine people who want to be with you.
Listen to Ekcort Tolle he is also an INTP but he really helped me to stop thinking about the past or the future which caused me a lot of anxiety and depression. He focuses on living in the now.
Understand absolutely everything. Even the matching peoples' presence. You make me feel somewhat normal, in the sense that there is another who is just like me. I've had these moments ever since I can remember. Thank you. Fellow INTP.
This is extremely accurate to me. The worst is when you're alone at night and the existencial thoughts hit, I can't do nothing because it's too late so I just try to avoid those thoughts by playing videogames, watching youtube or playing the guitar, I feel so empty at those times.
OMG, me too, sleep on the floor, walk barefoot. Shut down and lose motivation when I lose or can’t get connection I need.and yes these slumps happen fairly regularly.. I don’t fight them. It’s something I’ve got to go through. The worst of it lasts about 3 days. But since I e moved to an isolated area and not much money for gas and a car I borrow it’s much worse. I think I need to live in a city.
you are not alone
Haha I used to sleep on the floor for 3 years or so nobody understood. It was comfortable enough and it was easy and helped saved room.
I have to sleep on a bed my back would be killing me and I have to have shoes on for a walk to protect my feet
Long prior to knowing about the mbti or personality typing I realize that most of my life seemed to be an Fe explosion, never seemingly able to find someone that understood and I could indeed connect with, my whole life seems to have shifted in perspective and direction thanks to realizing that I was not alone, that others out there exists that have went through similar circumstances people I can communicate with and them not immediately become confused and bewildered, and now looking back, I'm thankful for all the dark times I've pushed through as I know that it has made me strong in every sense of the word mentally, and appreciate the few close connections I have so much more
I used to have this cycle of going in and out the cycle, probably every 6 months or so. I think it gets better now, and the last time I was in the slump was around one year ago. For me, the trick is to realize when I am having a bad day / dark thought and to confront it right away. Like, don't let it get worse.
When I get into the slump anyway, I manage by thinking that this is only a phase that will end sooner or later. I am an INTP Catholic, but what weird is that I feel the closest to God when I am happy. So when I am in the slump, it is hard to get connected to God and ask for his help. In this phase, I know He is watching and taking care of me, but I am on my own to deal with the problem.
So the way I get out of the slump is actually inspired by my ENFJ Buddist Boyfriend. Rather than going inwards and thinking what I need, I start to think about what others might need. Helping or taking care of other people is a great way to build connections.
As a maybe intp myself (I'm still unsure though) when I have those slumps I start becoming extremely sceptcal about everything, humans just become uninteresting and I start noticing patterns in people's behaviours in a way in which they all seem similar and no one is unique. Therefore I don't feel like I need social interactions even if that is exactly why I feel this way, because without interactions I don't see the value of humanity. Probably in my case I guess not having a religious background kinda puts me in that nihilistic mood. For the rest everything you talked about feels very relatable to be honest.
Very religious, still get nihilistic...But I have truths to contradict the nihilism with. But the Nihilism is still VERY convincing when I'm in a slump.
Intp's have to get in touch with their feelings but that's hard because a lot of us get so caught up in thought loops that an emotional state seems so distant and unreachable. I found that the best way to get in touch with your emotions is by spending time and acknowledging how you feel. Don't explain why u feel what you feel, what's causing it or trying to justify it just try and match your feelings with their names (sad happy anxious mad annoyed empty lonely etc) and repeat their names as long as they're there and when the emotions change name the new emotions. Once you do this more and more and you get good at identifying what your emotions are I invite you to stop thinking at certain times throughout the day and feel and acknowledge the emotion that arises. I believe whatever emotions arose when we stop thinking are the emotions that drive us. In order to change this you have to start associating the things that make you feel positive with what you want and trying to only do the things you want to do when you can which takes a lot of practice.
Another vote for physical activity for getting me out of the void. Sometimes I enjoy being there for awhile - to rest, take a break, but then I definitely need to get back to reality. As I get older the guilt of not doing something isn't as bad as it once was. I do have an underlying fear that I will always be alone without even 1 person to depend on. But more doing and less thinking is helpful.
I’m INTP-A, before running across this I would describe myself as OCD (usually, productivity, focused on learning, but occasionally focused on the wrong thing). I’ve realized that I have to be careful of what I focus on. Not ignoring the darker patterns but be aware of what they are.
Personally, I think being INTP is great. We hear a lot of crap from the others because they are focusing much more on their feelings... (the phrase “does he/she make me feel special” is beyond childish in my opinion). I can’t comprehend the level “narcissistic behavior” i see on a daily basis... especially thanks to social media. We do have a very low tolerance for BS. INTPs have real friends not frenamies, not emotional pillows or crutches. Unfortunately, it’s also a lot harder to find those that aren’t emotionally immature now a days.
You said this very well, good job.
I'm somewhere between INTP and INFP. There are parts of both I totally relate to, and parts not at all.
I'm very sensitive ("touchy", I suppose), but I have trouble expressing feelings or figuring out what they mean. I'm artistic, but I like science and theories as well. It's difficult to figure out *others* and I prefer to stay with a select few people. I like to make decisions based on "what makes sense" but I appreciate emotions as well. I love to daydream and think of possibilities.
And yes, I can be lonely for sure.
God's timing is really on point.
I'm currently in a slump right now.
How blessed I am knowing that somewhere out there, there is a Christian INTP.
Bless you, brother.
Your video is almost half an hour but it doesn't feel that way.
It's like I'm talking to a close friend of mine.
God bless you.
Thank you so much for talking to the world at large like this!! :( It is such an incredible relief to turn on these videos and just listen to you talk about these things. It is amazing how dark those times can get, especially, as you say, for Christian INTPs. It helps me SO much to simply hear another INTP talk about it, because honestly there is no other type of person that can understand the nuances. I feel convinced that we are all ultimately alone as well (as human beings), but there is so much comfort to be found in even one person being simple and honest and just offering their valuable insight to others. I've struggled with depression and severe anxiety for months now and your good-natured videos are finally bringing a few real smiles back to my face. Thank you so much!!!! :)
This was a very insightful post.
I understand you and your type a bit more now. More specifically, I understand a lot more why all my INTP acquaintances and friends are paired up with xSFJ women. It's good to realise that, as much as they are non-demonstrative about their emotions, they essentially found what they needed in their partners and are H-A-P-P-Y!
I also think you are in the middle of that "time of life" when, after dealing with most of your inner-struggles, you want to connect with new people. But not anyone and everyone, just people who are complementary to your personality and quirks and thoughts. There is no doubt that in time, these people will come to you.
Getting your own place is the beginning, everything else will follow as needed. You keep walking your line, the world will keep up with you. :)
As for my darker moments, I'm more apt to juggle them now that I'm at peace with my own nonsense and idiosyncrasies. I find that my darker moments rarely last, neither are they intense. They pop up from time to time, often when communication on important matters between me and others break down due to differences in perception of reality (it sucks to be a Ni-Se user).
Being quite the busy-bee, I often can't afford to dwell on these issues for too long. I am usually able to move on once I've mentally mapped out that people "will get it in 3 weeks/6 months/5 years".
Overall, refining my plans/projects and shaping my visions for the future greatly support my self-confidence and motivation. It's a very intellectual process, and I have to say that I appreciate the analytical input from the INTPs and INFJ in my circle in these tough situations.
Though, there are times when I end up going rogue. This is when I consciously trash my nicely-framed routines/habits to binge on music, films, dancing, errands in national parks/empty beaches and heavy-weight DIY-work. I am basically "throwing" myself out of the emotional funk. It never solves the core of the issue, but it does wonder to help me shift perspective and realise that sh*t happens in this world...and always will. ^__^
I have moments of nostalgia, when I look back at photos or listen to music of yesteryear that brings the visions of the past to the surface, I feel those moments again. I feel the pain, love and torment of that moment, I then realise that that person who experienced those things is gone - my past is gone and I mourn for the loss of myself once again. I dive headlong into grief, choking me from within.
Thank you for sharing.
I am so happy to have found your channel. Throughout college I suffered the loss of my grandparents and my aunt as well as all of the "friends" I came to know in High School. The combination of all of this took a huge toll on my outlook and I am so comforted by hearing your discussion on your own losses in terms of friendships and how simple things were.
Growing up has been a bleak time for me as an INTP but knowing there's others out there like me and being able to hear and learn from them can hopefully aid me in coming out the other end. Cheers
perspective is really hard to change when in these slumps...
im glad to hear you’ve been able to see and hear God working in your life even when situations were difficult 😊 i think it speaks volumes to your character and maturity, and to God’s sovereignty.
my slumps come when i can’t see the forest anymore. when i get too focused on the trees and when im pressured to focus on each little detail, I lose vision and purpose. When I’m in this state, i either become extremely impulsive in my decision making and/or just complete tasks in a rather robotic and unmotivated manner.
having a trusted friend remind me of my purpose and calling definitely helps me get out of it. or finding confidence in God and reminding myself of who i am through Scripture and third party testimonies can also help me get out of it.
and yes, vulnerability is difficult. most of the time its a trust issue. we’re scared of getting hurt and we’re desperate for protection and security. ive found myself to be more vulnerable with others the more i give my heart to God. because He is perfect, He will protect me in the most ideal way possible (though it may not be my ideal). opening up to others is much easier when you’ve opened up to God.
What a beautiful comment! I can relate. God bless💟💟💟
Your video was a comfort to watch. I don’t feel alone in similar walks or bicycling trips i take. I’m also an INTP Christian so I know what you mean tho I don’t walk barefoot. You seem so confident in the way you present yourself. 👍
What caught my attention is when you said that people your age justify their actions/doings because of their insecurities. I agree, it’s difficult to own up and be honest but what’s real is best. I trust God will provide the connections we need whether they’re temporary or more long term in whatever season we may be in.
It's not an accomplishment in itself to be an intp so it's not like I am proud of being an intp, but as I have matured with age and knowledge I feel really happy to be an intp. When I was younger, before 35 and especially as a child I often felt like an alien when around other people. I just didn't get their lack of logic and their dependence of irrational feelings. Took me a long time to realise I was not the weird one. Thanks for your insight and I know you will do great in life.
Hey, I totally understand you as a fellow Christian INTP. I get frequent waves of loneliness, as I don't really have any solid, deep friendships.
Why? Because I feel alone as an INTP Christian among the more commonly ESFJ-ish Christians. And I feel alone as a Christian INTP among INTP-ish non-Christians.
I have a few friends who understand me on an intellectual level, but not on a spiritual level (they aren't Christian, and there's eventually a point where you cannot strengthen the relationship further between two conflicting world views and lifestyles).
On the other hand, I know a few wonderful Christians, but they're distant, literally (I barely see them) and figuratively. They are more XSFJ-ish, and I just don't relate to the "emotion-filled Christianese" spoken in (usually female) Christian circles. Perhaps other INTP Christians know what I'm talking about.
I try to cope by knowing that ultimately God is my only need and friendships are just extra blessings. But also He's the source of all good things, so I'm asking Him to bring the right friends into my life at the right time.
Gwedhiel Erulisse the sunshiny version of Christianity really puts me off sometimes. I see other people around me "worship" the Lord with their arms stretched out with a look as if they are on another planet. To me it just looks like an emotional high and I sometimes question the authenticity of their worship; are they really singing out to God because they love Him or is it just because they like "getting high" off the emotions? When I get to point where my worship feels fake or insincere I stop doing it, singing in particular. I would rather give God something that is real less often than five him something fake. I also prefer to worship in other ways, often in a more intellectual sense. Like admitting God's creation and how amazing it is that he built such a world with systems that work together to make the world we see. It makes me feel so out of the mainstream in this way. Most people don't seem to understand this which is frustrating.
i think another struggle (INTP christian as well) is the superficial nature of some peoples worship. because of our logical mind we can't just FEEL god and that's over we need to really analyse in a way many don't, this in turn makes religion super serious compared to others who just feel it. on the other side our logical, intellectual nature attracts the scientifically minded who in modern era don't believe god exists and they often see it as ridiculous to believe in. we tend to be on another level no matter where we are, not necessarily a better level but usually deeper. people in modern life don't often go to that level of depth. but i like to think that that deeper level brings you closer to God
Genuinely curious, how does a religious INTP reconcile their beliefs with logic? Does it require some level of cognitive dissonance predicated by bias formed during childhood?
@@brandonk5066 i think the best way to reply is to describe my feelings close to how atheists i've met feel. i don't see enough evidence for the expulsion of a god and it doesn't make sense to me that life came about the way some of the scientific community has said. that being said i believe my upbringing was key in knowing this as i was raised religious but in an environment of mostly agnostics and hard-core atheists. so having people throughout life telling you that what you believe is ridiculous either breaks it and you start to believe them or you are a stubborn bastard like me and you grit your teeth and keep going. but i would say i have done a lot of research on both sides and i just don't think life without God makes sense to me, but i don't blame people for not being religious because a lot can leave a bad taste in your mouth.
@@jonahi1304 I was brought up in a Christian family, but I am not even baptized. My grandma always told me I am a Satanist because I don't believe in God.
The reason is simple: the burden of the proof for extraordinary claims lies with those who claim them. And religious people or creationists have never provided enough evidence for what they say.
It is very easy to say "you can't deny this or that", but that is an attempt to transfer the burden of the proof.
Wow I can recognise this "Slump" in which all motivation is just gone and moving myself is extremely hard but at the same time, I want to achieve something meaningful. I thought I was just kinda lazy but never thought there was a deeper meaning behind it. I also had a deep yearning to hang out with friends and just be around them or something during this "slump". thanks for your inside and thoughts about this.
I can relate. Being a Christian INTP female, I have been completely alone even when I wasn't. Understanding my "type" has been so helpful, but I can't share that with anyone in my church because they all completely reject anything related to psychology. I am finally realizing that I need people, and that I have only pretended not to, because I've given up. I need to meet the right kind of people too. So here's what get's me out of my slump and my apathy and depression, and this is going to sound weird...but I enrage myself by exposing myself to the culture that my whole life is set up to avoid (no tv at home etc, so I'll expose myself to youtube videos to check up on the world...). Exposing myself to the reality of how evil the world is right now, lights a fire in me and helps me to recommit myself to TRUTH.
I know it's three years later, but I just found this video, and I'm going to talk.
I too am a Christian INTP. I relate incredibly to nearly everything you said. I thought I was crazy and that there was no one else like me, but there's nothing new under the sun, is there? I call these slumps my "episodes." They are incredibly dark. I think very harmful thoughts and feel incredibly hopeless when they occur. Suicide has even be something that has crossed my mind. I even went to counseling for this issue recently, but I don't think it did much good. I often go on drives or walks when they occur. Something that I have found to be helpful is combating the lies that come into my head with the truth of Scripture. I also tend to meditate on Psalm 23 or other encouraging Bible passages. Recently, I have found that journaling and honestly expressing my thoughts and then bringing them to God is helpful. Doing this in a more creative way, such as through poetry has also been a great aid.
I think it's my life. I don't think these slumps will ever go away in this life, but as unbearable as they are, I have seen and experienced God in an amazing way though them. I pray it is the same with you.
I hope you are doing a bit better these days and are confident in God's plan and purpose for your life. I know He has a great one. Thank you so much for making this video. You are not alone. God bless you.
...that moment when the INTP realizes that rock(ish) bottom is pretty much normal(yeah, ish)... Edit to add that honestly I think slumps are necessary, generally worth it, and I think you've done a super job explaining them!
I’m an INTP too! I also share a lot of the same problems with sleep and motivation. I recommend meditation and the occasional use of cannabis... such a big help!
(Yes, I am aware of the pot-lazy stigma, let it be known that in my experience it helps to reverse the negative side effects of the ‘I’ in INTPs by causing us not to overthink and use our extroverted intuition..)
I find it very interesting, we have a lot of similarities.. I am a musician too! I want to finish my book and I also tend to withdraw from my personal relationships. I generally care a lot about people even though they think I’m a machine.
I am also an atheist. I am basically the opposite of a Christian. I find this very interesting. When you said ‘not willing to except people’s ignorance of their fallen nature.’ I felt really bad. To me that is an unnecessarily negative belief that cannot be rationally justified. I believe this is a form of cognitive dissonance and as an INTP studying psychology, I feel emotional responsibility to use my Ti hero to try and help you because I (think I) see the tremendous harm religion has on people. Even when it’s personally justified by subjective experience. I abandoned my family’s Christian beliefs long ago because skepticism is second nature to me. I value truth just like I know you do. The idea of an afterlife can negatively effect the human ability to comprehend the brevity of life because it is essentially an easy fault in reasoning humans use to cope with death and cosmic nihilism.
Basically, artificially extending the concept of life to delay and inhibit suffering will extinguish your urgency. Urgency is your greatest motivator as an intellectual. Your drive to initiate action will cease (and it’s already low because we are introverted.) therefore allowing your ‘I’ in INTP to take over making you excessively passive instead of in control! Please hear me out! It’s the subject of the book I’m writing!
I strongly urge you to message me so we can bounce around some music ideas/knowledge and have a decent conversation! I also recommend having a look at some videos on Matt Dillahunty, Christopher Hitchens, CS Joseph, and/or Aphex Twin (give Aphex Twin a chance, he will blow everything you know about being a musician out the window?:$2@4!($.)
Cheers!
You are awesome. I'll look into it 😊😊😊
I'm amazed to find someone who has a different idea about cannabis and the potential it has to help people in the correct doses. I extend it to several other drugs like MDMA (the only drug I had tried and it was once). It helped me to being a little more closed with the people. Sadly, it's illegal and you can't have any guarantees about the quality of the drug.
Just in case, I'm not a drug addict, and I am far away of being one.
It's difficult to talk about this, because people have a really bad concept about people who has taken any drugs. So yep, it was a relief to see that I am not the only one who thinks different.
the happy memories taunting you is 100% spot on with how I feel sometimes. those taunting memories drive me freaking crazy
I cant even believe what I just watched. How accurate it was, as if you took the, what I once thought to be, inexpressible words right out of my soul. How you're able to so clearer and concisely talk about subjects such as this to a camera and share it with the world. I am also an INTP Christian and everything you were expressing about the struggles you face being specifically a INTP Christian made me feel for you because I understood it all too well. Thank you for sharing this. Its beyond a comfort to know they there are people who struggle in the same areas. I was beginning to think I was alone. I actually just recently found out, with the help of your videos and much research, that I was an INTP. Even after taking MBTI tests over and over again, I did not feel satisfied with the results. It would bounce between INFP or INFJ or even ISTJ at one point. I felt like I wasn't answering it accurately based on the general questions they give you. I felt like I could bounce between answers. When I watched some of your videos, I could not believe how much it resonated with me, almost exact. I don't know if its just an INTP thing, but I feel such a relief now knowing for sure that I am definitely an INTP. I have almost an unhealthy desire to know thy self that I loose sleep over it. Your videos have tremendously help me in that regard to finally figure out that I am indeed an INTP. Great content! I have subscribed and look forward to hearing you spill your heart out some more!
Yeah I get this,when you’re alone sometimes doing anything at all seems utterly pointless
Hey man! Your music is really good! Was blown away actually. I clicked on it with not much more than mild curiosity , but found it to be very impressive and inspiring! Great job and great stuff.
Thank you, Marcus. I greatly appreciate your kind words.
Totally get it. What I have found as a christian INTP that it is a clear correlation of my mood and finding more out about our true connection with God. I listen to Ian Clayton’s teachings, he has practical execrcises how to build a relationship with God, how to free ourselves from all those negative thoughts and images. The revelation that we are not human beeings, but spiritual beeings and we need spiritual experiences, in the spirit realm. I haven’t been in church either... I feel like somehow INTP’s can’t find happiness in this world...at all..
Love the video!
SO RELATABLE! Actually, this has been so helpful knowing I'm not the only one! Thank you!
Eyy, another Christian INTP! Nice!
What you speak of here, I feel I've gone through and come out the other side of. For me, it was a lot of accepting that the relationships I had left were enough, no matter how small a number it was. Acceptance of a situation and becoming content in it seems to be my most helpful method now
(Though I had seen my comically large failures of trying to gain more friends as a sign from God honestly, not everyone need give up, but instead learn to be content while you work forward)
46 here. This resonates some, except that I never had those connections to begin with. So the "outsider looking in" thing goes as far back as I remember. I have always been socially adept, so that in a crowd of strangers, I can sort of fit in. But since I don't have any real connections to anyone, the ability to fit in serves ONLY in those stranger situations.
It has never really been different. The only thing that has changed over my life is my awareness of myself. When younger, I didn't understand that I was different, and spent a lot of time trying to emulate others so that I could be "part of."
Yeah, I’m kinda there right now
You can pull through this! :) I hope things go well with you.
Hello from a fellow believer! I am also an INTP, and your description really hits home. The slump causes so much dissonance between my mind and my spirit. God is always there, he will never turn his back on me, and that should be enough, right? But in the midst of the emotional slump, it seems like God is silent. Then it is easy to become unmoored from the faith I confess, which only deepens the crisis and adds another layer to the situation: guilt.
For me, the trigger is often relational insecurity. Sometimes it is due to misperceptions (inaccurate intuition?), but often it is a reaction to someone close distancing themselves emotionally. I think this is because my Fe is relatively immature, so I depend on others to provide emotional accuracy and validation. When they pull away, I immediately blame myself and begin running through every memory searching for what I have done wrong.
Over time, I have learned to work through these overwhelming feelings with greater accuracy. Experience helps tremendously. With more analogues to draw from, my intuition has become more accurate. I still struggle with others who are close distancing themselves, but again I have learned that their distance is usually not because of me, but due to some other issues external to the relationship. It's still a regular struggle, but usually not as overwhelming as it once was.
Christian INTP here. And I am relieved that I am not the only one. Especially after my father passed, I started to become more aware of my faith and of course that beget me succumbing to an existential crisis every now and then. Legit, everything you talk about from having to let go of some relationships because of convictions to having to be at your best emotionally when interacting with others IT IS HARD. I live in a family of Extroverts and as an Introvert it is hard because their emotional needs I can’t always give and I can’t always connect. Anyways, being a Christian and INTP is such a humbling experience because when I get stuck in that Ti-Si loop sure it pains me, but in reflecting on te Word and calling out to Christ has truly taught me of my need for Him. Being an INTP moreso, for me means that I calculate everything others do and my reaction to it. And this prevents me from desiring to reach out to others. But the Christ thing is that He pushes me to pull me out of my loneliness. Will pray for you and other INTPs! :)
Fellow Christian INTP here. I relate so deeply to the things you said here. I can’t believe I came across your video, and have never seen you before on TH-cam, as I am continuously viewing personality type videos, especially INTP-related. I have never heard the term “Fe explosion,” but now that I have, I have so much more clarity on what is happening when I experience this. I am usually fine being alone, but on occasion I get very lonely. Not in the physical sense of the word, but mentally rather. I am married and have a wonderful, supportive family, but so often I find that I’m not able to connect with them on the level I so profoundly desire. Hearing this from you just helps it all make more sense. God has definitely been my rock throughout my life, I keep running into his open arms when I experience these episodes, and I am never disappointed. It’s so awesome to hear from a like-minded individuals. I hope you continue to make these videos… I will definitely be watching.
A co-worker told me about this video when I asked her if she ever felt like she was bi-polar or had a mild form of manic depression (we are both INTP). I had to watch it again today and even started reading comments, of which I never do. I can agree with the haunting memories of relationships of times past. I have found that even if I reconnect with those people to which I've had a strong bond, after a length of time apart both parties have changed and moved on and it is hard/impossible to rekindle the relationship.
thank you for the INTP Christian comment. about seeing a path if you make a decision. and not taking that path to not deal with a load of crap in the (to an INTP) predictable future. At 44 now I am just now learning about this stuff. It was never on my radar till very recently, but looking back. I am starting to see my decision-making process with new clarity and a better understanding. I am feeling that there is a whole new level of incite, for my future. Keep up the great work. and thankyou for your honestly.
All my good realizations about myself and my good writing comes from these Fe explosions so im glad we can try to see the good in it
As another Christian INTP who is currently in an Fe slump, thank you for this video. Sometimes, I go through seasons where I'm disillusioned by my church and the politics therein, and/or it seems like everyone around me is either selling out our pulling away.
I used to try to think my way out of those slumps, but doing so would only make me feel worse.
What I've learned to do is similar to what you've learned: lean on God, and ask him to keep my mind sound, my motives pure, and for strength to get me through it.
Older INTP female and a Christian. I had the hardest time accepting God but a very traumatic event pushed me to surrender (yes, surrender). I am no longer going to church because I really don’t like gatherings like that but I still depend on my faith to anchor my emotion when it threatens to go haywire. I pray for myself and for others.
As an older single no children I began to value family and friends a lot more. I think when I turn 70/80, I’d probably love group activities and casual conversations like a child would.
Apologies for the forthcoming essay, but I think this kind of thing happened to me a month or so ago. I was playing a main character in an opera, I made friends with my fellow cast members, and also had a fling with one of them. I felt completely accepted and properly part of a group for the first time in my life. It could only have been better if it had been a paid job. It's so odd for an INTP to find themselves in such a happy, social hub, and, in the end, I found it difficult to handle.
When it was over all my new friends went home for Christmas, and I fell into this deep slump. I missed the show, and I missed my friends, in particular the guy with whom I'd had the fling. Everything felt meaningless and desperately sad. I cried several times, after having not cried for quite a long time. I'm a bit older than the others, so it reminded me of how they are still at the beginning and that my life has not yet gone the way I'd hoped.
I'm a little better now, but I was completely taken aback by the sheer strength of my feelings. It was as if I weren't myself any more. You know how us INTPs hate to feel out of control when it comes to our emotions. I'd experienced something amazing, and overwhelming, and a glimpse into how life could be...okay, so I'm sure if it were commonplace I'd be far less sociable as I need to be alone often, but still - being liked/accepted/found attractive/part of a like-minded group/in an opera again was pretty good.
Of course, I spent ages analysing my feelings, trying to work out what the hell some of them were, and why they were happening because I considered that I had no business having them in the first place. It was particularly bad regarding the fling, as romantic feelings are a rarity for me. I wasn't actually in love, but I was taken off guard by my feelings for him. I've had flings etc. before that were just FWB and not felt anything of a mushy nature, so it was a shock. I think he, and everything else that happened, represented things I never had when I was an undergrad. And he was nice. The worst part was coming to conclusions about it all, but still feeling the emotions, even though I supposedly had my solutions and so shouldn't need to feel any more.
All this has left me annoyed with myself for letting it happen - for somehow 'allowing' myself to feel things and enjoy myself too much. I know that's ridiculous because, try as we may, we can never stop our emotions all together.
I told a few people about what was going on as I don't trust my own emotional reactions, and I wanted other people's perspectives so I could compare and contrast everything. This seemed to help as they said what I was experiencing was perfectly normal, even though to me it seemed shameful I somehow think I ought to be above my emotions; I don't know why. I'm so used to being a little antisocial; even reclusive, and not needing company most of the time. But at the moment I'm still missing the connections I had. I've seen my friends, including my fling (who is still my friend, if nothing else) since, but I find I want to connect with them a little more often again. It's horrible needing people, but maybe I should give it a try while I'm still youngish (35)?
Hi Eric! I really appreciate you making these videos. I've been around for a while, I'm just not the interactive type really. I'm an INTP as well, and I've always tought I was 'weird' and different from other people, but these videos make me really happy and understood and it makes me feel like I'm not alone with my 'odd' personality type. Thank you!
Fellow Christian INTP here! Im overjoyed to have found you, hehe.
Here it is midnight, and I have to wake up early tomorrow for college. Cant sleep, just like you said. Im in a slump right now. Bad.
Ive never once had a truly close friendship. Like David and Jonathan. And the friends I did have have evaporated away. I feel more alienated from my family. They now drain my social batteries, and dont give the needed interaction for an INTP.
Church is alienating also. The congregation, as well as all society, rewards extroversion and emotion while punishing introversion and logic. I try to meet people, but they just find me weird and move on to other people. I search for girls I could meet and possibly marry one day. Though they want nothing to do with me. The one I love, and have shown so much love for, acquaintance-zones me and chases after someone else in another state. I dont blame her though. Why would she love me? Err, dangit, I gotta get back on topic....
I just started college, and it's overwhelming. One terrible side effect is that im around people a lot, and that means draining social batteries. And then I go work in retail, and it drains them more. Then I come home, and theyre drained more. The only rest I get is in studying.
Loneliness. Horrible dark slump. Seems like I just got out of one last month. But there is a beauty in them, that I find in my introspection and self-reflection (rhyme not intended). It's here for a reason. Because something is wrong. Because God is teaching me. Just like you said, I always learn something from them. It improves me, and puts me a little closer to that INTP unattainable perfection. Suffering brings truth, and truth burns, yet it purifies. It burns off impurities.
And man is it true. The haunting of good memories. Oh yes, and in these times, because I want to be understood and know that it's alright to feel like this, I study MBTI more. And it, combined with self reflection, teaches me so much about myself. And that is extraordinarily powerful. To know how you work, why you work that way, how to predict yourself, where to improve, what are your strengths, etc.
Gosh. Im so emotional right now. Makes my logic sick. Its cringy, but it's necessary. I will get over it, and be better because of it.
Thank you so much, Mr. Eric. It's an incredible ministry you are doing. Hope you are doing well, and will continue to do well. God bless!
All very accurate. I'm currently in the slump you're talking about. It's nice to know I'm not alone and there are people like me. Sometimes it really feels like no one gets it and that's a very lonely feeling. Knowing you're going through it or went through it and found a way out give me some hope. And I really do have some great people around me to help along the way
Lets see. Sleeps on the floor, is a musician, works with blender. walking around outdoors barefoot and a loner, I'm not even 15 minutes in yet and I found my INTP twin. lol
I just discovered your channel and subscribed right away because I couldn’t have felt more at home instantly (and I’ve only watched like 2 videos). All the feelings you expressed in this video were EXACTLY the ones that haunt me everyday (I identified with the way you dress, body language, the way you talk, etc.). I always try to relate to people on a rational level but this is one of the only once-in-a-lifetime instances where I didn’t even have to try to understand. I just felt the whole thing. It was rather a subconscious processing of what you were saying instead of a conscious one. I’ve always doubted if I even was an INTP because my mind, while useful, can oftentimes sabotage my sense of self on the daily. Which is really hard on myself. The advice you gave at the end, especially strengthening your beliefs is something I should consider more. Some things shouldn’t be overanalyzed for your own good. So I feel like my belief in being an INTP has been strengthened now as I find my sense of self step-by-step. By implementing your advice, I want to say: Who cares if I mistype myself!? As with your belief in God, whatever is consistent and any belief that helps you and you feel is right should be reinforced. I don’t even know if you’ll read this comment because that’s just how youtube works but if you do, I would like to say: keep up with the channel and everything you have going on for you. I hope you succeed. And thank you.
I’ve always struggled with not feeling understood. And that is what brought my loneliness on. Feeling like I’m always gonna be the only one that cares to want to know about me or others. That I’m the only one that wants details on everything and anything especially the people around me. I became bitter from it and a very unstable childhood in and out of my home. I’m also a christian intp so I’m the odd man out wanting logical reasoning than feeling to help with my understanding of my faith, and there weren’t nice churches we went to at times that also contributed to my loneliness and bitterness. It’s hard to find those special people that want to deep dive into things and people, but I’ve collected three so far. I’m also 23 and want to start meeting others for a non platonic relationship but I have no idea where to start. Like you said, I don’t like bars or clubs, and guys my age aren’t serious about it. The hookup culture is strong and I don’t want to participate in it but I have no idea how to find them. And plus I want to find a Christian one, it’s important to me. So yea. But I just have to trust He has a plan. All in due time, so I’ve been working on myself. But I digress, I haven’t been in depression in a while so I’m happy about that. Thanks for the vid, I sent it to my friend that struggles with apathetic depression- INFJ exploring herself as well.
I know this is old but this is important.
I seek outside help immediately, as should you or anyone else. One thing that is seldom understand or explain is that Ti does not shut off. If we are in our shadow, our Ti is still going strong. I imagine dominate functions are always active for everyone. My dark thoughts are brought on from a lifetime of problems, abuse, combat, restriction of freedom, hard labor, and outliving most of my friends and family.
Nihilism (what is being described) is a serious threat to us. Some nihilism is reconcilable, but some is not, be careful of the latter. What people don't get is that our apathy is what protects us from our darker selves.
You called it mirroring, I tend to call it masking, but mine is more like an ENTP adapting a persona. However, my energy tends to mirror the group.
We tend to only keep a couple of super close friends, we need those, and to replace them is not easy. It is important to expand our friend network, with only a couple it is just to easy to lose the support network we need. Also I have never met an INTP that ultimately did not aspire to be that outgoing individual. Some would say it is because that is our subconscious.
The way I pull myself out of these is I take a step back access and basically I recognize I am in crisis and act appropriately. I believe INTPs were designed for crisis. Think about it, we operate in bursts of energy, I don't know how but we notice everything, we can make decisions in a snap, we just tend to hold out until the last minute to make sure we have as much information as possible, and the most important thing, when in crisis we have a clear defined reachable goal. We will have plan a-f set up in minutes for the next few months, complete with contingencies for each. When we hyper focus with our energy burst, it all comes together if for only a moment.
Fellow INTP here. Going through a crisis myself now but kmow what I need to do because like you said "its almost like we can realise we are in a crisis and take the necessary actions needed"
Thanks for this.
@@jayjones7675 It is nothing that you can't handle I promise
Although I'd consider myself agnostic, as an intp and having suffered with loneliness/dark slumps etc, I can see how believing in something strong like a god (someone out there knowing what you're going through) could really help for those darker moments. I think the most depressing part of being an intp is to think that the few other personality types that best suit your own (ergo in trying to find a partner) only consists of 1-3% of people, like 1/400 or so (according to youtuber C.S. Joseph). Already being introverted I gulp at the likelihood I'll find someone to spend the rest of my days with but with some little time to spare I can only hope for a miracle ironically. Also seems to be a high correlation with intp and high functioning autism but I might be wrong.
Thanks for being real about your faith. I can weirdly identify with some of your struggles as a Christian INFJ...
I can relate with everything you said, including the christian intp thing... im just so lost, i know so much about myself, about other people, about a lot of things but... i simple can't form relationships, i try, then i try again, but it ends always in the same way... loneliness, and every time it is stronger and darker, because once again i failed... my biggest dream since i was a kid (like 8y old, im 22y now) is to find someone who understands and is willing to be by my side, a girl that wants to share her life with me the same way i want to share with her... and everytime i fail to even make a friend it hurts, because i feel like this dream became even more distant.
i guess this is who im and that there is a reason for all of my suffering (maybe to become more mature so i'll be a better person), someday this nerd may find some light in this endless darkness... until then i'll just keep walking, since im already used to see things in the dark ^^
Have you stumbled across Kazimierz Dąbrowski's Positive Disintegration? Sometimes I wonder if his rehabilitation center in Poland wasn't just filled with INTPs...
Schema therapy is just the right amount of humbling to bring the cognitive functions in line a little better for me.
Mutually beneficial relationships that are focused on self development...yeah.
My ENTJ friend came by and got me excited about learning something new about the evolution of consciousness together and it pulled me out of my last dark night. It's frightening how quickly I forget how miserable I was just a little bit ago... I find I'm like a child all over again when I first emerge again. Do you experience that? I have to be careful until I rebuild my Ti/Te structure again... If I don't get that before I start making decisions it can be bad. Friends. Friends are good. I find having friends I share passionate interests with sustains relationships for me in a really healthy, easy way, keeps my Ti engaged in a Fe kind of way. I started when I set up here to just go to Meetup.com groups I was interested in and I'd find friends interested in something I love, and then you usually get introduced to their friends and they are all the people who are passionate about something and it's awesome. It's hard to find them randomly I think. Then just pick one or two that are the best for processing your subconscious and unconscious personalities and that you like the most lol. Anyway, your Self will do it for you once you give yourself the opportunity. C.S. Joseph on TH-cam is literally fucking genius when it comes to the cognitive functions by the way and where I've come to understand them as developed by Linda Berrens. It's funny, I was homeless as a kid and after enough wandering it just smashed into me one day that there were fifteen different personalities and I kept running into slightly different versions. Then I learned about the cognitive functions and I realized I left someone out. Probably the someone that will help me develop my superego... Wow...rambling.
I've been trying to do what you're doing through long disclosive comments in different places, here and there. Not really any bites, but not a lot of effort. Nice channel, never heard anyone talk about monetizing things like I do lol. Nice. I look forward to exploring it and learning. Want to create, compare, contrast some phenomenologically disclosive information? I've been doing this phenomenological study combining the languages of cognitive functions/chakras/neuro-linguistic programming (Erickson/NLP)/archetypal awarenesses. It's not complicated in the way I've laid it out as a Google Sheet, just the vocabulary basically and I could explain that to an INTP easier than I can with my other friends right now lol. Although, all of a sudden I just got really shy sharing my most personal experience of reality with a stranger... So, maybe that. Do you do anything like that? It was motivated by a study of Owen Barfield through which I tried to get a phenomenological grasp on my "figuration," so as to be able to more consciously control "alpha thinking" and "beta thinking."
Ever read any Goethe, Pilot-wave, Hofstadter, Vonnegut, Lotus Sutra, Tao Te Ching, I Ching, Lessing, Hesse, Steiner, Robert Audrey, Herbert, Asimov? ohhh you might really like Lissa Rankin's books, especially Mind Over Medicine. She lays out so simply and beautifully that we are ignoring our own responsibilities in taking care of our needs and discusses cases of placebo, and mind leading matter circumstances and I just love her TH-cam videos. Inspiring and speaks to me as an INTP. I feel like communal needs were supplied to greater extents in the past but the American culture doesn't have a lot of that built into the culture itself, so I think it's actually become something we need to consciously develop, not leave to whim. Our social needs are important, for everyone, and for an INTP it can soften the blow of the disintegration and can help someone else if we have secure relationships with people who are important and us to them, so it especially makes us feel good. I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure I'm cultivating the relationships I need to individuate and lessen the cyclic process. Can't ultimately know thyself unless in relation to the other, as a good friend would say. Did I get too preachy?
This was May so you're probably feeling better now, or I hope you are! Sorry, I got a little high before I started this...
Hi Eric. It sounds like what psychiatrists call existential crises. And what kind of christian has existential crises? INTP of course. I am a christian intp and I can attest I have one around every 6 months apart. The best thing you can do is confront it and explore it. Usually happens right after a psychological growth spurt.(intps are always refining their worldview) and we need to shed old skin sometimes. I understand the isolation thing too because anybody who cannot reflect my intpness back to me I cannot relate to which is most everybody at church. They don't know how to take intp weirdos. And then not being intp they're
theology is kinda unrelatable as well because it is relatively simplistic. And then sometimes you realise the person you're talking to is really just a supersticious prosperty positive thinking materialist or something and you feel like why bother. I got lucky God matched me with a good husband (istj) that can handle reality well and hash these thoughts out with me but if not for that sometimes I think I couldn't make it. Also it does seem like everybody in the culture is a zombie. I think it could be because its not safe for people to be real( there may be a disagreement perish the thought!). Politically correct fascism... but i degress. Thank you and than God for being yourself.
yes lol
Wow, that sounds like me. I can relate! Christian INTP female is such a rough life. Thanks for that insight! Love real theology talk...but ya know that makes us look like we are trying to be dudes. Can't win :(
I can totally relate to this. I can perfectly decsribe myself as an existentialist and a Christian and there's no dissonance. But I always get quite depressed/or some other extreme emotional state when my world view changes. It's hard and takes a long time to get over. It happens at least every year, which makes the whole process frustrating even though I might appreciate the growth later.
You should read some Thomas Aquinas. Very thought-provoking philosophy, and probably all the more interesting to people like us, as Aquinas was also a Christian INTP.
I'm starting to have my Fe explosion, I feel I have had the best friendships (support groups) and it seems if I graduate this year I am going to retreat. I just realized the loneliness is innate even with the support group around. It is difficult especial letting them in on what 'I AM' but I enjoy what they call weird and awkward Frankly speaking they are the awkward ones. But these soul searching lonely journeys give me the opportunity to 'COME UP WITH SOMETHING' 13:22. It does help to develop insights, thought experiments, etc, since my biggest fear is not to do something important in the world. It's awesome being an INTP. yh
This kinda made me want to cry because this video just put into actual words what I allways feel but could never express and its like a relief but at the same time it hurts
Being separated based on what you do or dont believe is definitely something I relate to as a non-religious INTP.
The difference may be that I was marginalized for my lack of religion since I was a kid. So in a way I'm more equipped to deal with it.
The thing is that whether it's religion or just personal beliefs, our differences will separate us. In some way, shape or form. Its just rough on INTPs cause our connections are tentative to begin with. So people kind of just vanish from our lives.
I kind of envy religious people in that for one they're born into a community, and two there's always God or Cthulu or Spaghetti Monsters to attribute meaning to.
I find my self having to accept that there is not necessarily any inherent meaning and that it's okay. The trick to it is that if the emptiness is bothering me, its because this whole thing does bare meaning to me and that's enough to go on.
(Edit: I don't mean to ridicule your beliefs at all. Its just one of those things where my understanding is completely limited and hence the irreverence. If belief in god is consistent for you, I have no way to disprove it and if I did I wouldn't do it.)
i’ve watched your videos inconsistently for a while, and i’ve gotta say these kinds of videos help a lot (coming from an intp currently in the slump) because your views are easy to relate to. even though i’m quite young, the fonder memories haunt me as well and it makes the slump even harder to crawl out of. i’m not a christian- oddly enough, i’m a satanist but it helps that you have something/someone to believe in when all else fails and i think something of the sort is always needed. even if it’s just like getting off work to play games or your best friend, you know? anyway i love your videos; keep it up my dude
Bro. I appreciate this video. I recognize these symptoms and you taught me a lot about what triggers them. I think church helps a lot. Being in fellowship with believers is important.
I'm an INFP but I find a lot of similarities with you I have also lost some friends of mine form the times we were young. I was so angry because of the betrayal and because of the bullying I have experienced later in high school. What was worse is that the time me and my best friend splitted up and went into different goals was when I was in love with her. So: No friends, heartbrake and bullying is a perfect mix for depression. I bottled up soooo many negative emotions, first sadness than it turned into hatred. Nice that you have just told what I was thinking unconciously, because you are an INTP you more like analyze situation and me, INFP, just want to take revange on everybody else. Same as you I started walking but not to be more attached to my thoughts but to chill out and cool down some emotions.
im 14 and i already feel like this sometimes when people around me that i used to be able to talk to go down the wrong path and we either stop talking or dont talk the same way
I get what you are saying so much that i wish you were at least in the same continent. The highlight of my darker moments......darklight, would be when i attempted suicide at the age of 11. In a nutshell, it was and still is hard to be a christian African intp who stammers from a humble household.
Finding out that i am intp was the start to my healing process and the Lord took care of the rest.
I find peace in His everlasting and unconditional love.
Man, rly love ur channel when it comes to organize my thoughts about myself
Awesome video, I can really relate as an INTP myself. I am currently in this place after losing someone dear to me. You sharing this has given me things to think about and to restructure my view. Thanks
I can fully understand this. Great video. Thank you for being so open and sharing. I often have no words for this. Long walks and writing helps and I paint as well.
I think you’re referring to Fi demon mode. It’s what happens when Fe inferior isn’t taken care of.
Friend that’s why you are feeling depressed and drained start going to church. God loves you He wants your time. Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together. You seem like a nice young man and the church will welcome you to whatever church you go too. I didn’t go yesterday but I usually go I had to watch my nieces but we did have a bible story with them I said we didn’t go to church we at least got to have a bible story. Anyway that afternoon my sister in law was yelling at people she made my stress level go through the roof so I spent the day just trying to destress. God loves you so much.
I’m an also INTP, unfortunately this is basically my entire existence for the past 4 years, it’s actually really helpful hearing that there are people also going through these feelings.
I love your dog! He's great, persistent with the ball and so happy you're playing. 🐶
Dude, everything you say and emote resonates with me like crazy. Even my speech/thought patterns are similar. :)
You need to surround yourself with people who have your best interest at heart .I'm an INTP I just disconnected from a toxic ex friend because of his lack of standards or morals and this person finally showed his true colors and is a jerk .I've learned my lesson never be around unhealthy ENTP'S but surround yourself with positive, authentic and honest people you can't go wrong with that .
Thank you for sharing! I recently discovered the Myers-Briggs system. The deeper I dig, the more thankful I am for having been shown this. As a Christian INTP, I have struggled for over a decade with very similar issues, and never really ever to nail down a reason why. Slow but sure, Jesus has been leading me through it though, and I have faith that He wont give up on me until the work in me is done. It does me so much good to hear the struggles you name, some verbatim to my conversations with God, from someone else. For years....actually until VERY recently, I believed that I was just flawed in some way that no one else could articulate or understand, that I just wasn't 'like everyone else'. I will just mention this to you, even though I know this is an old video, two authors that have change my life dramatically: John Eldridge, specifically his book "Wild at Heart", and also Eric Ludy and his book "God's Gift to Women". Both of those helped me deal with alot of the things you mentioned in this video, and I am proof that the principles outlined there are true as any other I have found. Thank you again!
I appreciate your comment. For years as well I felt like I was some kind of wild mistake and MBTI helped validate my thought process. Validation can be dangerous, but it reflected who I am naturally. Then I could see how I am an image of God by the traits I posses. Keep trusting in Christ through the hard seasons, I think it does get easier as long as you lean on him. Certain issues may be harder to embrace, but every trial strengthens your spirit and creates endurance. I have heard wild at heart but I have yet to read it. Eric Ludy’s church is actually right next to my house! He doesn’t pastor there anymore because he wanted to focus on the school he started called Ellerslie. Cool guy. His son is cool too.
I'd like to say thank you for being able to articulate what I feel into words. I honestly never really knew how to describe it, because it wasn't like I was sad or something... I was just, numb. It's really nice to know that I'm not alone, and I'm definitely taking the advice you gave since I really do struggle with this. If you enjoy writing, a way I just kinda articulate my thoughts and emotions at the time is through writing some sort of short story or poem - a 'vent' so to speak. It might not work for everyone, and it doesn't fully remedy the numbness/whatever other emotion you may feel, but it does relieve some of its effects on you. It can also potentially serve as a way for you to avoid falling into that slump as you have the reasons for it laid out in front of you, so when you're in a better mood, you can look over it and pinpoint what exactly caused you to fall into that slump and avoid it in the future.
Also a Christian INTP, you have quite a lot of accurate information good job!
Hi Eric. your music is pretty good! I like it!
- an INFP
Even though you are quite young, you are providing insight to the INTP. What you've talked about here is so heartfelt and insightful. Thanks, Eric. Good stuff, really. Someone I care about has this Fe explosion.
I am an ENFP, and I actually find myself in similar slumps but I don't think it is as intense as an INTP I care about. Being of the most introverted of the extroverts I can relate to it. How do I know when to persist with my INTP friend, and when to back away? I wan to let him know I care and am here for him but don't want to interfere with the time he needs alone.
It helps if you know what they value, like quality time or gifts or service. Also it helps to get them talking. Ask him a philosophy question or some kind of question that pokes at his interest. If they feel like you care what they are thinking/ their thoughts, that can help a lot.
Thank you, brother. +
I think asking silly questions (what is the best color? or, what combination of 2 different pets would you want to raise together? etc.) can help them get out of a rhythm of overly grave pondering. Not to distract them from deep thoughts entirely, but to give them a break, so they can come back to deeper questions with a fresher, less bogged down lens.