My Daughter Stopped Talking to Me [SO I LET HER GO]
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 26 ส.ค. 2023
- You are not alone. It's devastating to be a parent estranged from your adult child, whom you raised with love in good faith. This is my story...
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I understand completely what you've gone through. We have been cut off from our youngest son and his family for 6 years now. It has negatively affected our relationship with our older son as well. (Our only children 😢). We walk on eggshells with him. It's the most horrific nightmare ever. We've never gotten any explanation that makes sense. So very, very painful. It seems to be a sign of the times. We pray for reconciliation continuously. We continue to reach out. We feel outside influences are contributing to this estrangement, but frankly, we don't care about those people. We never expected our children to go along with erasing us from their lives. We miss the once loving relationship with our children. It's hard to fathom this is now a "thing". We never give up hope. 🙏
I am also dealing with this with my son and partially my daughter. Let me say that there is no justification for this. This is how I'm dealing with it. I'm a born-again Christian. My faith in God is where I go. They are from the millennial generation. This generation, and the one right after it, have indoctrinated thinking. The Bible talks about this happening in the last days, which we are in. I have given them over to the Lord. I know for a fact that they will both come running back as soon as they see what God is getting ready to do on this earth. You see, that is one of the issues they have. Even though they were brought up, Christian, they say they don't believe now. They know what is going to happen, though, as I've taught them. God is going to do great miracles for His people during this time, as he judges the evil ones. God has promised reconciliation. I also dedicated my kids to God when they were born. They accepted Christ and have been baptized. Even if they never talk to me again, as long as they recommit to God before they die. I pray for them daily and will always love them. There are so many young people that would do anything for a family who cares. Gifts I would have given them go to needy kids. My will has changed to my Grandsons. They still love me!❤
It's been a year since I last saw my daughter.
I tried my best but my best wasn't enough.
I am not past it, my whole life is falling apart, my husband is divorcing me but keeps in touch with her. 💔
I don't know anything about her or how she is doing.
I'm still heart broken.
She was my miracle baby and my only one.
I feel your pain and heartbreak. My daughter in law has completely taken my son away. Took his phone, blocked me, won't answer texts, phone or emails. I just don't understand either. It's like a mass epidemic of estranged parents walking around. 😢
I never thought I would find a channel on this - Ive been searching for so long, but instead Ive been getting videos about "how you know you were raised by a narc mother" or such titlles. Our grief is SO deep. SO many similarities. She claimed, almost overnight I had destroyed her entire life, and she hated her childhood, and even said I personally destroyed ALL our lives, including her brothers. SO we asked him, and I begged him to be honest and even tho he is fully Autistic (as is our daughter) he said "wow - no you were and are a good mum...I mean, yeah, no ones perfect, but we had a great childrhood. As for M**** - I dunno whats going on with her anymore mum...dont worry about it". But the grief is just too deep. She is 28. She had blocked us both now, not just me, wont respond to texts my husband and her dad, sends her each week to ask if shes ok and needs anything and to sday hello - never ever replies. I too, asked for tolerance when she got angry and forgiveness as she goes to church etc, but even her ex, who we are very close to, cant explain her behavior anymore. Please keep making videos.
I gave my mother 40 years of chances. I told her when she hurt me and why. She chose to call me too sensitive, say she did her best, tell me it was my fault and I deserved the treatment etc. Going no contact was painful, but being around her was worse. Nobody is obligated to endure minimizing, dismissive, or abusive treatment from anyone, related or not.
My mother is exactly the same. I just keep my distance from her these days and if do see her I limit the time.
Hey, my mother in law has treated me this way for over 35 years. I still randomly check up on her and send her an occasional card. It's called honoring her because my husband is walking the face of the earth! She is very liberal and has done awful things I won't mention here! You don't have to physically hang out with someone if it's physically dangerous but they're still human and deserve at least minimum respect.
@@juliaanderson6155 If the worst you can say about her is that she is "very liberal and done awful things" I wonder if you're just not intolerant and very conservative? It's telling that the first thing you mention about her that makes you angry is her political affiliation.
@@patricias5122 her concern is about "honoring" the mother in law. It's a "christian" thing. I think one of the commandments is to honor thy mother and father. I'd say most self-identified "christians" interpret that as meaning they must maintain a relationship/contact with the parents, and that they must refrain from rebuking them and interpreting that as a sign of "respect". To truly honor the parents that created you, and the parents that created them, and so on and so on, is to seek salvation. Most bloodlines on this planet are essentially "cursed" (according to the bible)... we are descendants of many generations of people that lived in sin and denied God's commands, etc... so, by ACTUALLY following God's plan, you (with your poisoned, damned, cursed bloodline) can still find salvation for your soul by turning to God. And, by turning to God and saving your soul, you ate honoring your ancestors and your heritage. They fell from grace and created a hostile world for you, and they created hurdles for you that were just about insurmountable, and yet here you are. The point is to find God and heal and make things right, etc... and, by doing that, you honor your lineage in the most beautiful way possible. Letting your in-laws get away with treating you like shit, and now asserting boundaries, and going on pretending like it's acceptable is NOT honoring anyone. There is nothing honorable or virtuous about forcing the maintenance of a relationship that never really existed to begin with. A frank rebuke is one of the purest acts of love I can think of 🙂 Letting these people shit on you is the opposite of loving them OR your SELF OR god. It's cowardice, and it's basically placing a man above you and essentially worshipping them. I'm no expert on this bible shit, but I definitely know that enduring overt or ambient abuse from in-laws is not virtuous or honorable or holy, etc.
@@juliaanderson6155also, I do apologize for generalizing and assuming you identify as christian. That was not fair and I ask your forgiveness
This woman is insufferable. I'm 10 minutes into this and she has yet to express any attempt or curiosity to understanding why her daughter feels this way. It's all about her.
Exactly even trying to make herself special on her daughter birthday as if its her day too lol she is nuts
Kinda the point here.
It irks me how she's using her daughter's estrangement for clout.
I guess all, or majority of parents, have that mentality..
@@simonehawthorne2647 boomers being boomers. It's a boomer world. We're just living in it.
Go to therapy and leave her alone. She doesn’t owe you anything. She left for a reason, clearly.
Accountability is a helluva thing to be tip-toeing around.
I just tiptoe somewhere else faw away from these foools😂
She starts even this video with a guilt trip, on the first second. That's all I need to know as the daughter of a mother who rules by guilt.
"I buy myself a present for her birthday every year. It's like... a consolation prize."
RIGHT.. my jaw hit the FLOOR when she said this fr
Big sign right there self-absorption
You might be a narcissist if… 😂
🤢
🤮
This woman putting her daughter on blast like this is pretty disturbing. Her lack of self awareness is comical. I almost thought this was a skit on SNL.
This is the best argument for going no-contact I could imagine.
Please, look deep inside yourself and realise you wronged your child, no child goes contactless for no reason. you failed your daughter. period
So wrong.... no mother is perfect. So if you are not the perfect mother, they cut contact ? Wow... no wonder this world has gone to the wolves !
@@isabellescaffidi2144let me guess your child has gone no contact with you and now you’re playing the victim.
You are so cruel. Walk in the footsteps of an abandoned mother and then judge. Heartless…
Narcissism...
@@isabellescaffidi2144 😅
My mother is telling everyone she doesn't know why i haven't spoken to her in 10 years. Maybe it's because she beat the shit out me every day complete with black eyes, busted lips, whelps from extension cords and a lot worse. I'm 55 and on meds and still have flashbacks. I'd love to hear from the daughter.
@ jilldambrosio 4273..why do you let your mom hit on you, ?...do you no how to call the police 🚨...if your mom hit you in your head you could lose your memory...
It sounds like your mom is drunk and is mad with you..I believe your mom had a man that liked you sexually...but it's not your fault...can you stand up for your self?..stop 🛑🛑 🛑 going around your mom looking for her to like you...
I am sure she is beating on you behind a man,
This mother is clearly a narcissist. The way she can’t take accountability is reeking through this video and she is so unaware of it. I see why her daughter went no contact.
@@FyreStartryou're a monster. The fact you idiots can spew nonsense like this, after watching a mother and a father go through that is clearly beneficial. Spot the pathological liars and the psychos.
Please don't make this about you. These parents clearly aren't the people you had in your life.
@@pankakesnotstellarexactly. These grown children can’t take accountability for themselves and they want to make their pain everyone’s pain.
"This angry outburst from her was so out of character we were shoked" yeah that's what years of mistreatment from the people who are meant to make you feel safe does to someone. It just builds up until it all explodes then their gone (thank god). Im 18 I just left my middle eastern household (rip) and have been no contact for a few months. You remind me of my own mum and its sickening i dont have a single drop of pity for you.
One of many red flags here, not once did she express concern over what her daughter may be going through. If my daughter did this, my FIRST and MOST IMPORTANT concern would be - is SHE OK? What is bothering her? How can I make it right? I guess that’s why this won’t happen to me.
I'm sure she didn't share her every thought. You cannot begin to imagine what it is like to be ghosted by your child unless you've lived it. She is in her own personal hell and nothing she could do would change it because none of it was her choice. But, I'm sure I couldn't convince you or the other 61k people who've thumbed down the video.
Children being estranged from their parents is a trend and it will only continue to rise until the family unit becomes a thing of the past. I'd imagine that a lot of people would consider this a good thing. Certainly, the powers that be do, it was actually one of the goals of BLM, and all other Marxist organizations for that matter. It's a major part of the programming in the media, the education system, new age religions, and especially "mental health" pop culture who encourage everyone to diagnose everyone in their lives.
People who think that the dissolution of the family unit is great think they're being independent, and progressive, thinkers but in reality they're being led down a path and playing right into the hands of those who desire to enslave and control the entire world. They've been preparing people for their dystopian future for generations now and the younger generations seem to be begging for it.
@@AllisonSmith73 you’re right. I can not begin to imagine because we raised our children to respect us by respecting them. I can not imagine my adult children “ghosting” us. Because we raised them to think for themselves and knowing there is nothing in the world they can’t come to us about. We raised them with enough humility to apologize if we were wrong and admit we are not perfect but by the grace of God we wake up every morning striving to be better. We raised them to know that Jesus is the only perfect being and that we all fall short, but most of all, we raised them to know that GRACE and LOVE are the most important things in life. No BLM or any other fad can seduce your children when you fill them with LOVE AND GRACE only Jesus can bring from the day they are born.
@@AllisonSmith73 the saying reaping what we sow comes to mind.
@@sellmav Are all of your children grown up and out of the house? You look quite young to have already achieved that. If yes, how wonderful it must be for you and your whole family. How wonderful it must be for you if you were brought up in a God-fearing, Jesus-loving, Christian home. We weren't all so blessed with the opportunity to grow up in the truth. Some of us did the best we knew to do which was to raise our children better than how we were raised.
I did the best I knew to do, I even joined a church that all of my children were born into but, when my serial adulterer husband decided he'd met someone with whom he "had more in common", he decided we needed a divorce. After that, I was no longer so welcome in the church as a newly divorced mother of three. I made a lot of mistakes, but all of my mistakes were what it took to bring me to where I am today, as a born-again Christian, no longer in a cult, knowing the truth, loving Jesus, and seeing all the ways in which I had been deceived by the adversary for most of my life. I'm filled with gratitude that God has brought me to where I am today.
Every estranged mother's story is different but, regardless of where they've been and where they're going, it is for God to judge each of us and, as long as we're still breathing, he may not be finished with us. He knows how our hearts are broken having never come close to anticipating that any of our children would ever write us off. I've never known anyone to whom this has happened. I've seen drug addicts, alcoholics, exotic dancers, people from some of the wildest walks of life who still have children who have something to do with them so, after 13 years, I'm still desperate to know what happened and, for me, that's when it's time to give it all to God again.
I am one who still doesn't know what exactly turned my children against me so suddenly. The only hint I've had was when my eldest daughter asked me, on one of the very few phone calls we've had, if it was true that I had stolen a check for $5,000.00. I absolutely never did such a thing. God knows I am innocent of this accusation and yet my children were told that I did it by someone they trusted. With a lie that big, I can't help but wonder what else they might have been brought to believe that I did. I didn't learn even this until after 5 years of absolute silence. I don't think she thought I would deny it, I think she was looking for an apology but I could never apologize (accept responsibility) for a crime that I did not commit.
If you have been greatly blessed in your life, it seems reasonable that you would be humble and not assume that someone else, who doesn't have the blessings that you and your family enjoy, is somehow deserving of being alienated by their child(ren). God allows the devil to serve his purpose and sometimes even Christian families can be affected. Job was greatly affected by the devil. He was in no way at fault for the things that came upon him and his family, and yet, all of his friends were sure that he must have done something to bring all of his suffering upon himself. They were wrong.
When one is God-fearing and greatly blessed by God, one should never place blame and judgment upon a parent who is in mourning, and grieving the loss of their child(ren) even though they are still alive. I forgive you. It is a common mistake to make, to judge a matter before hearing it (comprehending it fully). We certainly don't want to be so full of pride that we are blaming those who are suffering for their own broken heart. We should have compassion for those who suffer.
I truly hope that, whether or not your children are all grown, they will not (even one of them) fall for any of the schemes of the devil. God Bless you and yours.
I always find it funny how people think that this only happens to other people and certainly not to me. I bet the mother thought the same thing as you do now. It's easy to judge others, but not particularly smart.
Accountability 0% Victimhood 100% She has admitted mental health issues and they still make it about their feelings? WOOOW, I WONDER WHY SHE GHOSTED THEM? 😂😂😂
She didn't ghost them though. She sent a letter saying what she was going to do and why.
I wish she replied on u . I'm sorry I fell empathy for both of them. Cuz I have a Mom's & Dad's wounds too but i wish to get through it myselfe too and live in peace within all of this melodrama
This comment is ridiculous
@@ColdBloodedReaper explain please
You know how my Mom got me back after 5 YEARS?! She owned up. Be strong. Own your faults.
What did you own up??
Whatever she owned up it's definitely none of YOUR business.
@fulltimeonfire8536 That means she owned up to nothing. That's how it works! Thanks for responding!
@@joef.4643
She owned up to existing and enduring the abuse! 😘
@Aaron-kp6kp whatever! I will tell you the fishing is good here, even with the heat! Unbelievable!
Did you ever apologize to her with empathy for her feelings? You didn't mention that.
Oh, yes I did. I took much of the blame for allowing her to see me oppressed and depressed, but she also saw me rise up out of poverty, go to college, and get my master’s degree. She is not willing to work through the issues. My grandson, her own son, told me that if she did forgive, she would be exposed as she claims she was oppressed and a first generation college student. She is doing well, so I will just stay in the dark.
@@lindamiller3382yeah as someone who was no contact with my mom for 5 years and reconnected . I can see that you don’t understand how this work and only validate your feelings. So yeah she’s better off
@@lindamiller3382you are not in the dark. You are, in fact, on the bloody internet with this whole thing! You've even outed her cosplay on TikTok, in case anyone was unaware, or she wanted some privacy from the prying eyes of people from her childhood. And yes, I do know what you meant - but you are not in the dark. You're stalking her online.
i’m so fucking glad that daughter got out of this clearly toxic relationship and i hope this mother stays alone. She clearly doesn’t understand the trauma she’s caused
My mother is worse
Seriously?? How could you make these rash judgments?
Sounds like the daughter is way wrong here
And your profile pic says ALL we need to know about you.
@@HereKittyKittyKittyKittyKittyif this is how you treat strangers on the internet i can see why youre kids dont talk to you.
Not trying to be mean, the daughter said she felt constantly guilted. This video feels like a guilt trip.
Well you are being mean. Incredibly mean
@@shadowshow701 are you familiar with covert narcissism. I was trying to be nice. You want mean? She’s literally insane and smear campaigning her kid. There that’s how I really felt.
@@shadowshow701 this is not mean. This video is a guilt trip... all about the mom. Not once did she talk about her daughter as a person. It was awful.
@@shadowshow701and? So what if she’s being mean. Grow up. That woman is a narc.
@@shadowshow701 where's your brain.
Being related by blood does NOT MEAN we must endure BS from relatives. I haven’t spoken to my sister in 24 years.
Believe me, I have so many relatives that I avoid talking to for years....
absolutely! ppl im related to act like im their property or something. like i HAVE to fake enjoy their presence and trapped around these people because their blood related. its awesome when you can finally have the freedom to move out. 👍
Same here. Spoke to my sister once in the last 29 years and only because our father passed. Never heard from or spoke to her ever again. My life is a happier place without her mouth and bullying.
Just wondering, how do you cope with other family members who have never been subject to the abuse, who invalidate your truth and disregard your stated boundaries with that person, i.e., suggesting you take a 6 hour carpool drive with the abuser. Other family members who've never been on the receiving end of the abuse and who disregard the abuse reports that you've shared and your stance on your boundaries going forward. Then, they react with complete confusion when you have to remind them of your boundaries. I have cut off my relationships with so many family members because of their incessant disregard for my basic courtesy boundaries. For some reason, most people in my family think it's acceptable to disrespect me - but only me. They don't put up with disrespect, but they expect it of me. I'm down to open communication with only 2 family members who behave with common regard to me, yet they glibly set up situations to pull me back into my previous boundryless position. I have to be on guard around them constantly so I don't get sucked back in. I don't want to be estranged from these people whom I love, but I also don't want to be a virtual punching bag.
Very sad.
This video is an example of Triangulation. It’s an abuse tactic used by manipulators to involve outsiders in a personal conflict to peer pressure her victim into doing what she wants.
Triangulation is the wrong term to apply here, in order to support your ridiculous movement. Triangulation always refers to cutting out the noise and pinpointing the source of something. Not including more people or more data. You guys just make up any kind of expression and start using it.
😂 ok
@@user-um7tw6kx4r6"In psychology, triangulation is a term used to describe when a person uses threats of exclusion or manipulation. Its goal is to divide and conquer. A form of manipulation, triangulation involves the use of indirect communication, often behind someone's back." literally from an article reviewed by someone with a psychology PHD
edit: words can also have. multiple meanings
spot on @annavictrix , instead of communicating with her daughter quietly- she brings in strangers (youtube) without giving all the facts...
@@Edgeley hmm…so it’s “therapeutic” for *adult* children to trash parents on SM accusing of “childhood trauma” but as soon as a hurting parent gives a moms perspective this is type of comment she gets. Do you see your hypocrisy??! Her daughter *REFUSES* communication! Maybe this mom’s trying to find a way of surviving/coping with HER “trauma” in this too! It’s implied that THIS is her perspective - as with _anyone_ who jumps on SM with their version of a claim!
Cutting a parent out of your life is extremely difficult and stressful. You don't do it without a good reason.
That goes both ways.
@@campfireaddict6417 Yeah, no doubt
Most disowned children are minors when it happens, and it's often because the child is gay.
That's evil, and you're a bad person if you think that's comparable to cutting off abusive parents.
@@NoNameToYou It weighs on me every day, but it's less bad than the alternative.
That's right you do it with a very cold heart. You don't have to like them but you do have to respect them. Grow the f up
I explained multiple times to a loved one how their behaviors hurt me but I got labeled too sensitive. When I pulled away, this person acted confused and hurt. Sometimes a parent gets confused when their kid truly did spell it out for them. If only they cared and listened.
I agree, it sounds like narcissistic behavior. But I could be wrong. Why take this to the internet?
@@happyjacktails3277 perhaps it will strike a cord with someone who is in denial about how they make others feel. Why not take it to the internet? It's a big source of educational content and if someone chooses, they can improve their life with the wisdom gained. I have a friend that used to give people unsolicited advice, and came across a know-it-all. He's a nice guy but he hurt some feelings. So he stopped with the advice, and people were much happier. He preferred to make people feel good around him so he made changes.
@roundtwo3321 these people have selective hearing. They only hear and believe their own BS reality they tell themselves. Equivalent to telling them the sky is blue but they'll say it's green to make life as difficult as possible.
This was my experience with my parents too. They both don't understand why I don't really talk to them that much, but I tried to tell them; they just didn't listen.
Wonderful. But we don't know why her daughter cut contact. We can only guess. In addition, I have seen children cut contact from their parent because the parent was indulgent and let the child rule the roost. Seems illogical, but it's a fact. Children are developmentally egotistical: let them dominate, and in extreme cases they'll arrange everything around themselves and resent the parent for existing. Give a child no boundaries and no responsibilities and you breed peevishness at a world which does.
As a 59 year old male, all I can say is that cutting contact with my toxic family for 20 years has allowed me to heal.
I wouldn't change, nor regret that decision as long as I live.
Me too. I'm 54. My mom is 71. I haven't spoken to them in a decade. It's been the most peaceful decade of my life 😌
Wow and I’m only at year 3
Agree
It's hard to judge a situation without knowing the full circumstances and each party's reasoning. I agree that distance is sometimes necessary from certain members. Especially when violence and intentional sabotage is involved.
I really dislike society's obsession with birthdays and holidays. They can be nice if enjoyed simply for what they are, without pressure or obligation, but toxic people latch onto them as their auto-redemption cards and a means to force contact.
I went 15 years of no contact. When I returned, my mother was haughty and defiant, which confirmed my belief that she is a narcissist. She turned 87 last week. It is so very sad.
What did I just watch.. please see a therapist about this, social media is not the way to go 😞
She didn't ghost you. She sent a letter explaining it. That is not ghosting.
not allowing a response is ghosting.. and perhaps too immature to sit down and discuss like a mature adult.
@@memphisstreetdoc1810 As people here keep pointing out, it's not ghosting when you've explained why. Also, whether the daughter is immature or not it does not matter. It's the parents job to be the mature one. In! this case the daughter doesn't sound immature at all. It's never immature to take care of yourself by removing yourself from the line of fire.
how exactly did the mum respond? With a single word "received" and then followed up with clicking like on a video, or sending very condescending emails with self help affirmations??? straaaange. There's more to this than meets the eye, and the mum is only showing a very singular and distorted version. She makes sure she portrays herself as a saint.
@@memphisstreetdoc1810
Agree didnt ghost them. She's an adult now so can choose who she has a relationship with. Something went wrong and they don't seem prepared to reflect on it, it doesnt seem because of politics. That letter she wrote back to her daughter was terrible trying to guilt trip her into contacting her back. I wouldn't write to my daughter 'i cleaned ur arse when you were a baby so how can you ignore me.'
@@memphisstreetdoc1810 Her mother is being immature, as you can see thoughout the video. She is unable to take accountability for anything. I think the daughter to speak with her a lot in the past, but her mother just can't own up to her mistakes.
One of the hardest things in life to do is grieve somebody who is still alive. It is a pain that is indescribable.
I have to agree. Our son died at age 17. I inadvertently discovered horrible things our daughter claimed about us on social media. Not one word was remotely true-to us, that is. In her mind, she believes it. It has been harder on us to deal with her silence than it was to lose our son. With the death of a child, it is a permanent never ending heartache. To have a child refuse to talk to you is more painful, knowing they are a call away but you are denied that opportunity.
It is quite evident to me that these young adults are picking this up on social media. It is exactly as if they are in a cult, much like the situation where people are believing conspiracy theories from online hate groups.
My biggest concern is what will happen to these people when they have NO ONE that will love them unconditionally like a mother does.
@@primateagent188I 100% agree way you. Loosing a son was and still is a living nightmare but for a daughter to choose extreme limited contact, purely for inheritance is such a horrendous thing to have to endure.
It seems to me that so many of this age group are turning on their parents, so much entitlement, it seems to becoming so very, very common. It’s a sad world and the word “family” doesn’t really exist.
@@primateagent188 and you are soooo right.
@@shaz8486 and exactly like that. Very unfortunate for the young people - but they cannot see this.
😢❤
I ditched my abusive mom 13 years ago and never looked back. Finally. My brother doesn't speak to her either. We're both at peace with that decision.
How could you do that to your mom. Was she that bad of a mom?? Really
@@cherylmangas7924 yep she was mean, lied often, broke every promise, only cared about herself. And much more.
@cherylmangas7924 I also left my abusive mother. Ever since I left her all of my chronic health conditions have disappeared. That's how abusive she was. She was literally causing my body to fall apart.
@@cherylmangas7924how could these parents do what they do to their children??
There are bad parents out there I agree with you all but there are good parents out there that still have their children walking away and leaving us not knowing why. Im one of those parents. My two oldest daughters won’t give me an explanation that is clear. I have found other parents out there that are going through this too. It’s almost like it’s an epidemic of family’s falling apart. I have always tried to be a good mom and I have 4 children only two have left and my other two that are not estranged are just as worried about them because if their irrational decisions. They were given so much love and spoiled at that maybe that’s just where I went wrong. I’m trying to understand both sides and willing to accept my faults and move on.
A Daughter who was trully loved by a mother will never stop talking to her mother, but if the mother acts like she is a victim thats when a daughter leaves so you ask yourself what you are doing to push your kids away ...... stop acting like a victim
My selfish , alcoholic sister SCREWED the family all on her OWN. I'm SICK TO DEATH of the 'blame the Mom ' in all circumstances. We had EXACTLY the same upbringing.
@@pianoreigns No, you didn’t. You were not there when she was alone with your mother. You have no idea what your mother said or did when you weren’t around.
External influences could interfere into relationships. No relationship fall into absolute statements. Maybe you're projecting.
Stop victim blaming. The poor mom IS the victim.
A daughter who was truly loved by a mother will never stop talking to her mother ...false, sorry.
Anyone else think it's strange that this is obviously a professionally-made video complete with lots of b-roll and haunting music?
"I promised myself I wouldn't cry..."
*edits herself fake crying into the video*
ikr ... whose idea was it to have the sad violin in the background. So unironically funny (I literally laughed).
the music was so annoying
💀💀
No. It's typical NARC behaviour. 😂
The fact that she sent self improvement videos to her as if it was the daughter’ problem really shows who she is as a person and who she blames for the consequences
I winced at that too.
exactly. "self love" videos... total irony.
She said she thought her daughter already like those types of videos. Cynicism is not the answer. Understanding is the answer. And if you love yourself, you won’t easily hate your maker.
@@vladimirofsvalbard9477 She also mentions starting a "private" channel after using her daughter's name and showing a face that isn't really blurred out. I would be mortified to see my personal life on TH-cam. I should probably review my own comments.
@@seekeroftruth1484 she thought wrong.
Children do not randomly wake up and decide to go no contact with their caregivers.
@@formerfundienowfree4235 Yea sure, being neglected, disrespected or abused for years by shitty parents with little to no self control has nothing to do with it.
Yeah...we now live in a world where they do... what planet are you on???
@@formerfundienowfree4235 With good reason! They finally found someone who understands their pain and/or has gone through the same. And who supports them that they have no longer endure abuse and invalidation from their own parents!
@@SrSyztz Those seem to be the kids that stay. Ironic.
@@campfireaddict6417 until they master the courage to leave
News flash: It’s your fault
No, its not
lol rekt
@@samiyarbrough4239yea it is children don’t cut parents out of their lives for no reason.
@@samiyarbrough4239hi definitely not Diane’s sock puppet.
SAY IT AGAIN FOR THE ONES IN THE BACK 🎉
Wait, did she mention that other people have cut them out of their lives too? And she still doesn't think she's the problem?
The majority of the EACs say they eventually lost all of their family. Does this mean each of those EACs are THE PROBLEM? I don't think so. The estranged parties have a fairly large circle of common friends and family and some of those people feel they should be "loyal" to one party or the other.
I cut my mom out of my life for refusing to acknowledge the neglect and abuse in our house growing up and how severely it ruined my health and self esteem. She’s selfish and uncaring. She refuses to even acknowledge her part in the dysfunction even though I spent my whole childhood begging for her to stop drinking and being punished for it while my golden child sister enabled her and was rewarded. Picturing her “wondering why” her daughter doesn’t talk to her anymore makes me physically ill and no matter how many times I tell her exactly why she plays stupid and pretends to be a victim.
Oh I understand you. I did it to my own mom and sister. Difference, I hope, is that you told her. You let her know what her part was in the separation. It's when it is sudden and without a word...I begged my son to at least talk to his father.
I agree w you. My mother was a verbally, emotionally, physically abusive “mother”. I made her punish me. She acknowledged her actions as an adult and said, “who cares- you survived”. She went on to emotionally and verbally abuse my daughters so i set a boundary. Said IF you want to see us, you cannot curse, scream, hit or lie to us. She broke ties w us and i was sad but relieved. She died 15 years later and no one cared.
I wonder if this woman is abusive too. My gut says, yes.
So zero percent your fault. Also zero forgiveness. Gotcha
@@janetdurkee8527 Can I ask how you can tell from this that she is abusive? Not trying to be sarcastic, just wondering if I am missing something. It is hard when you don't see the two sides.
@@bunacat1 This video cannot be just about her, she's too smart for that so it has faux reflection and regret sprinkled all the way through it. Also this is a TH-cam video, it's here for the world to see more than just her daughter, disgusting last attempt at the kind of emotional blackmail which got her dumped in the first place.
Some things ought to not be posted on the internet - this is one of them.
Some comments too
@@estrangedparentsyou opened the door. You thought you'd get pity, compliments, narcissistic supply. Instead you're getting criticism. Take your lumps.
@@estrangedparentsdo you feel this comment was out of line or offensive? Pointing out that a persons situation such as this shouldn’t be publicized without your daughter agreeing to it? If a differing (but respectful) comment is posted you take offense. Perhaps this is the same attitude with your daughter that fueled the fire…
@@estrangedparentslike Every Single One of your replies i've read so far 🤯 even the single one i've seen that pretended like you've actually tried to understand your daughter - despite whatever edits you made to it, it still comes off as a *severe* covert narcissist lacking self awareness & humility who's trying to manipulate
This video is fantastic! I've already downloaded and saved it. I will be using it as a case study in NPD for my psychology students. It's quite hard to find real world example so blatantly on display to use as a teaching tool to diagnose personality disorders. So grateful that this video was shared for all to learn from.
Why don’t you read her letter to us?
That. Would. Be. Incredible. I am sure it would continue to show that she is insane and the parents are perfect loving angel parents, right? LOLLLLLL
To much truth about her will be revealed and she wants you to feel sorry for her. You most likely won't because of the same reason her daughter left her out of her life.
It's like when my mother refused to let anyone read my brother's suicide note. I'm sure he said some things she disagreed with, and the only control she had over it was to not share it in its entirety... Only the parts that resonated with her side of the story.
You say you love your daughter so much. I too am a mother of an estranged daughter. I won’t go into it, but after several years of no contact, I realized that things I went through as a child, I repeated. I thought I was a good mother. I needed therapy many years ago and didn’t get it. In therapy now, I had a breakthrough. My daughter is no longer a child. She is a grown adult who had to deal with a Mom who had a lot of issues. She chose taking care of herself, and went into therapy. She said I had no boundaries. I didn’t, because I never learned them. Long story short, I am now proud of the fact that she chose a healthier life for herself because it was in her own best interest. I wrote her a letter and told her this. I respect her decision, and I still miss her and love her, but for now or maybe forever, she chooses not to have me in her life.
Very proud of you if this is accurate. This all any child of dysfunctional could dream of
😭😭😭😭
Good job. And when the time comes where you’ll get a chance to tell her that, if you haven’t already, you will be validating her and showing that what you really want for her is happiness and peace, even if it’s without you. I have a feeling that she will respect you for that and you will have contact with her again. It’ll be limited and different because she’s older now, but you and she may well have broken a toxic family cycle. It usually takes a few generations to heal from that.
If we could ask your daughter about why she pulled away from you, what do you think she would say? It’s an important question.
@@audreymuzingo933 I have heard many stories like this. My sister came within a hair's breadth of disowning my other sister and me because of who she thought we were voting for.
Even when you have a child that TELLS you why they hate you, it really doesn't make sense. I have come to accept that my child's reality, while valid to her, does not match mine, does not match siblings, does not match extended family and old friends. Truth is only a view point.
Mom said it could have been about politics. I lost a great friend if 50 years over politics. Politics represents more than just a vote. It represents your belief system towards so many social issues. My friend was so passionate about her vote that she chose to accept views that were totally opposite mine. We haven’t talked since the pandemic.
Mine say that we have nothing in common.
@@audreymuzingo933exactly there’s more to this story - and they seem to not respect her boundaries at all case and point the texts, the emails, this video
Cutting a parent from your life is a very hard decision and can take years of courage to do. Many of us desire to be in a loving and respectful relationship with our parents so severing it means there were a lot of trauma and problems that would force one to walk away. I know you’re hurting inside for your daughter but perhaps she had to leave you to save herself. I hope everyone affected can move on and heal from this. Good luck
Well said ❤ it's hard when you're expecting a parent to protect you but the person you need protection from IS the parent. It because a choosing game: who do I choose? Peace and myself? Or my parents and continued hurt? 😢
I hear you! I do! and I’m sorry that you feel or know that your mom hurt you so deeply that you felt like you had to leave.
Listen, I’m 66 years old and my mom was a mn
I thrive when I cut contact. It's always when I allow myself to be trapped by them that my life seems to unravel. It's such a shame the parent can't be a source of strength for the child. It certainly isn't what we want
I ended my comment by mistake. Sorry. Anyway, my mom was a nightmare. I like THOUSANDS of other children suffered a tremendous amount of physical and emotional abuse.
If I could have chosen between the two I would have definitely chosen physical abuse.
And to add insult to injury my mom would realize within hours what she had done. In my day ( I’m using that classic cliche 😅😅😅) there were no child welfare groups.
And a lot of the times I couldn’t go to school because my mom wanted the bruises to heal. But there was no one I could tell.
I can remember so many times thinking, starting at the age of 5 telling myself ( while my mom was beating my head against a wall 😅😅😅) that I would never hurt my “Rosie Flower) like that. I just knew I was going to be a mom one day and name her Rosie Flower.
And you know what?! I broke the cycle of abuse! I did it!
I’m trying to tell you my story, okay?
My daughter is my only child. She never knew her father because he left me/us two days after I had her.
He had already spoken with an attorney and he wanted to put her up for adoption.
I was given a choice …my daughter or him. And of course course the answer was easy!
So my daughter and I spent our lives together. We were always together!
We had so many adventures! I knew every single day how God had blessed me!
And I probably told her at least once a week that.
Listen…. I’m not being biased when I tell you that my daughter is absolutely remarkable! She was diagnosed as highly intellectual gifted, as am I…. and my mom.
I raised my daughter to be a conservative but I also raised her in a more liberal way.
I didn’t bind her to anything. However I put her through private school and let her make the decision about college which she decided not to do.
From early on I observed some of my friends and those that were single seemed to have an endless revolving door of men coming in and out.
I chose not to do that. Now that has to be bad for a child!
My daughter stayed with me up until the day that our landlord told us he was going to sell our home. We lived in Nashville tn. And you probably know that Nashville is and has been experiencing a population boom. And I knew that finding another place to rent would cost more than i could afford.
So I started frantically and I mean FRANTICALLY searching for a forever home. And there were none in Nashville that I could afford.
And so we/i ended up an hour and a half away.
I didn’t realize the severe ramifications of what my decision would mean.
And when I look back on it I realize that I abandoned my daughter!
I abandoned my daughter!
I abandoned my daughter and when I did I abandoned us!
Have you ever carried so much guilt and grief which results in so much self hatred? Have you?
I never told my daughter that she was a grown woman and she needed to find her own way out in the world because only an idiot wouldn’t recognize that buying a house was growing to be almost impossible unless you have a college degree with a subject in demand.
I am a psychology major! 😅😂😂😂 and I will tell you that is a ridiculous major unless you intend on getting your PHD .
Therefore I have to admit that I make disastrous decisions!
And I’m certain that I made disastrous choices for myself and my daughter …
But…. I never abused her. As a matter of fact I probably gave her too much. At least that’s what my close friends tell me.
And with that decision that I made to move to ANOTHER CITY I set my daughter and myself on a crash course to doom!
I didn’t however realize just how much suffering and pain my decision would put her through.
And trust me when I tell you that I pay for that mistake every day of my life.
And then my daughter started “therapy “ , and within a year my name changed from “mom “ to “ cunt”.
“ toxic “ …’ narcissistic “ ‘ neglectful “ ‘ manipulative “ let’s throw in another few hundred “cunt” . Mentally abusive . Should have been sterilized so that I could have never had children. And it goes on and on and on and on…..
And I know beyond the shadow of a doubt that those words were a direct manifestation of her pain and anger.
And with the help of her “wise “ “ therapist “ she made the decision to leave our relationship.
And her therapist helped her to discover that I really never loved her!
As well as that I most definitely have severe mental “issues “
Do you understand what I am trying to tell you?
I don’t know what kind of mother you have. or the factors determined your decision.
But for some reason I feel that I am supposed to tell you my story.
I hated my mom up until the past two years.
And why shouldn’t I?!
But in between the abuse that I suffered my mom was beautiful! She absolutely loved me!
She taught me so many valuable lessons!
I was so angry with her once I turned into a teenager that I made her life hell ! I made her pay!
And if I could only see my mom again I promise you it would be different!
But she died from cancer when I was 35 .
And suddenly I can remember so many beautiful moments.
No mother is the perfect mother!
And i don’t know how old you are but surely you know that every fault, every Hang up ultimately is awarded to mothers. It
is as old as time!
And speaking from a psychological perspective, men tend to marry women like their mothers!
What’s up with that! 😂😂😅
So just please please do some deep personal introspection! If you’re mom is bad… really bad…. Then by all means keep your relationship on the back burner! It’s just that when I read about adult children making “painful “ decisions to estrange their parents… when you use the word painful I can’t help but feel that in some way someone, somewhere plays a part in your decision and deep down inside you know that it’s wrong.
Okay?
Thank you.
This video perfectly explains why she made the correct decision to go no-contact. She wrote you a letter explaining herself & you fought off a smile while writing off what she said, entirely. Further, BOUNDARIES. You’re not respecting your adult-child’s boundaries.
imagine writing a letter to a relative that you need space, taking that space, and then for the next 2 years, they not only don't listen to the 1 rule you've laid out, but then they publicly post a 16-minute video online framed as if it's a serious documentary (reenactments, found footage, sit down interviews, and all!) with sad violin music. the part where she admitted to giving up on a book because it also wasn't telling her what she wanted to hear lacked so much self awareness that i was convinced this had to be a mockumentary making fun of narcissists
You're obviously not a parent. At least I hope not
We dont know the full story, could very well be child abuse. Either way its not right to make a video like this @@inthekitchen8842
Thank you for putting this into words. Screams narcissism to me.
@@dustyramsey34 sounds like a selfish millennial to me.
I would be very interested in hearing the daughter’s story. As someone who has not spoken to their mother in 10 years, I can attest that not all daughters are monsters and not all mothers are saints. We are ppl too and some of us has to make a difficult decision to save ourselves . Wishing you all the best.
She didnt say her daughter is a monster or she is a saint. She has no idea what the issues are. That is the worse part of this.
I would agree with you completely.
And yet you neglect to say that not al daughters are saints, or mothers monsters. I bet you got that from social media.
@@ohana8535College indoctrination most likely
I already know the story without even hearing it. Mom is a Trump supporter/republican, didn't take the vaccine because it was rushed, etc. etc.
Daughter here, I personally had to cut toxic adults out of my life who abused and manipulated and used me as a child. No regrets. I chose peace as an adult. My mother treated me like she didn’t want me around, called me names, bullied me. Would belittle me in front of family memebers and her friends. Would make me sit outside in the cold for hours one day a neighbor confronted her about that. Made me fold clothes over and over and then destroy what I folded and made me fold again. Isolated me. The list goes on. She was my first bully and I knew at 6 she’s not somebody I could go to for protection.
a lot of these parents like to act like victims that have absolutely zero idea as to why their child would ever leave? meanwhile they've been abusing and gaslighting their kids their entire lives. this is the generation that doesn't take bs anymore. we don't owe these people a trophy, just because they had unprotected intercourse. had they treated their kids as human beings, the kids wouldn't feel the need to run the moment they turn 18. the relationship requires effort and parents take it for granted. they pretend that their kids owe them something because "we gave you life". a lot of these idiots should never have been parents in the first place. no child deserves to grow up in a household where they feel unwanted. indeed, the adult child remembers it all. just because it's a child doesn't make it ok to treat them like property 🤢🤮
Wow that’s terrible
I think there's a big difference between children removing themselves from an abusive parent and children who cut out parents where abuse isn't at the core.
I don't think that's what this story is about.
😭👵💖💖💖
@@annieo9468
Do you think that children cut out parents where abuse isn't at the core? There may be a few cases where abuse of the child isn't at the core. I cut my toxic Mother out of my life. She retaliated by telling her story to everyone possible.
I’d bet money, marbles & chalk she already gave you multiple chances to hear what she need you to know. You’re not “robbed” when you throw away something precious.
And then you bought a book and skimmed it and didn’t even bother to take any of it to heart. You don’t WANT to change
Trying to maintain a relationship with my abusive mother (the last assault happened when I was 37) eventually lead to me having a nervous breakdown. I barely survived. I can’t live with that level of terror in my life. It’s beyond horrible to grieve someone who is still living, but for me, it was that or die.
My grandson has disowned me. Keeping his children from me. It's been one of the hardest things I've ever r gone through. We were I thought something special.. but 2 yrs ago he decided I was toxic. I like all these others never ever could have believed he would do this to me. My step daughter is going through this same thing. He did when telling me he no longer wanted a relationship with me.said he appreciated all love ever done for him. So now I'm trying to accept it all. My 2 lil grandsons don't understand why they aren't allowed to visit me. I see them once in awhile through his dad an mom. They like me are broken hearted. I pray for him and will always live him.
@@rebeccafrakes9305 Have you even reflected on WHY he wants nothing to do with you, instead of trying to place outside blame? An apology, loaded with insight, is ALWAYS a step in the right direction.
@@h.g.9411Why would she apologize if she doesn’t know why he thinks she’s toxic?
I'm a mom...😢😢
@@toshland5687 Maybe ask your daughter/son. You will be surprised.
interesting vid. I will say this as a 55 yr old adult who had to cut my mother off for several years when I was in my 30s and 40s. Adult children dont cut you out of their lives for no reason. Two sides to every story however. Children dont typically walk away from "great or loving" parents.
Exactly!!!
Yes they do. My son shut down after listening to his wife about things I did....that I never did. And that is just a small part of it all.
Yesss absolutely!!! Same story here❤. I agree with you.
@@spider46531 Their marriage is not your business. From the tone of your comment you are mad and blaming his wife. HIS WIFE. The woman he chose. Keep your mouth shut. They owe us nothing.
@@stupensardi2783 If she ever tried to confide in you when she was a child, and you wouldn't listen then, or you would gossip about what she said to you with friends or family, that's probably why she goes silent now as an adult, because the trust was broken.
Funny how you glossed over the most important thing: her explanation in her own words. If you truly love your child, you'll listen to her and respect her.
So telling that these parents never ask why, never seem to ask themselves what they might have done to their daughter - intentionally or not - that led her to make the decision to disconnect from her parents.
she said what the issue was. over that stupid 2020 election. Parents are people too. And are entitled to support whomever the choose..
@@memphisstreetdoc1810 I don’t believe for one second that the 2020 election is the actual issue. It is very likely a symptom of the actual issues. Mom saying the election is the issue is very telling.
@@memphisstreetdoc1810Right. That's exactly what the establishment is trying to do. Divide families.
Parents never seem to do that....
@@memphisstreetdoc1810
Then why have kids? If u can't support them n thats seen as only a choice n not out of love, then I think parents should reconsider having children...
It is never without reason. My daughter would not talk to me for a year. I did not harrass her with messages, but let her work through whatever she had to. Worst thing you can do for the relationship or yourself, is dwell on it. Does it hurt? Sure. But you didnt bring them into the world for YOU.
What do you mean, they didn't have children for them? Everybody who makes a decision to have a child is based on them and their union together. Anyone who is single and wants a kid. It's the same thing it's completely selfish ideal and impulse based on trendyness and a need to progenerate As a biological mamal. I resent any parent who wants to hold it over A child's head that they brought them into this world ,As if they did it for the kid and that it wasn't the parents idea or inclination. A lot of times parents don't want to take responsibility for fucking up their child. If you have kids you're probably one of them.
Well said, I agree.
@@Diametricallyopposed00 ha ha, stay strong Sister.
Maybe she did, there are mothers who treat their kids like dolls to dress up and when they have difficulties while growing up or aren’t fun to deal with they disengage. This lady seems sus to me: very self centered. She bought herself a present for her daughter’s birthday?? Lol dramatic
These issues are not so widespread in the Middle East,where children love their mothers and are raised to respect them. 99.99% of American mothers whose daughters ignore and neglect them were not truly all that horrible.
It seems an extension of the woman-hatred that is both socially engineered and socially embedded in Western culture.
There is an entire cultural socio-pathology that brainwashes young females to rebel against their mothers. Then the young females become victims of loser men and "friends" in their peer groups. Schools and social services has been conditioning this kind of dysfunction since the 1960's.
It is primarily a western cultural phenomenon.
I've had similar heart ache with my daughter. However, with help from a therapist, I finally eradicated the heart ache. She's an adult, making decisions for herself and her own happiness, and I'm not part of the "happy" in her life.
So, I let her go, and that absolutely freed me, and I haven't looked back.
Thank you for sharing.
My brother has been estranged from my family for 26 years….I don’t miss him!! 🤷🏻♂️
This is us with our son and grandchildren. Brokenhearted forever!!😢
But she is much less of a person for this.
@@marisamartin3664 - You can't know that.
Life became just very stressful and I hear everywhere that there is no room for elderly in their life it’s sad
Losing contact with a parent is not a decision ppl just randomly make. When you constantly disappoint your kid, fail to be there for them, and have a history of mistreating them, chances are they can’t be around you without feeling triggered by the bad memories.
Yes
Everytime I think of my mother my ptsd gets triggered.
I never felt safe or comfortable with her.
She would bully me out of the house in tears.
She is evil.
Its not the memories. People think we are unforgiving demons but what keeps us away is they will find a way to hurt you as an adult as well.
You forgive and they hurt you again and again. The only solution is to cut contact.
Boy oh boy did you just sum up my life
Wow. Its kind of ironic that this video meant to show how bad you‘ve been treated by your daugther shows exactly why your daughter went no contact. I kinda feel bad for you, i really do. There is not one piece of self awareness and accountability shown from your side and this is one of the fundaments to get a little change to get at least a basic relationship with her back.
Maybe you want to consider making a couple of therapy sessions to get feedback from someone that deals with this kind of family dysfunctions all the time. If the feedback is in your favor, i‘m sure most of us commenting „bad“ would apologize to you. Prove us wrong, accept the challenge.
What will you do when your parents are dead?
@@joef.4643live another day...
@@joef.4643Thats all you come up with? Really? Ok. Its the cycle of life. Just bc people die eventually doesnt mean they have the right to treat their children however they want and it for sure doesn’t mean that the children need to accept every behavior from their parents.
@TheDogAndTheBee Geez. I never heard so much pissing and mouning. Just walk, no run away to never be seen again. But you just can't resist the urge to be heard. Stop repeating your issues. Move on as you have.
I wonder if my narcissistic mother is saying the same thing about me to her friends and all of our family… I know it’s hard to accept that something might be mostly your(the parent’s) fault but the parents are supposed to be the mature ones. You(the parents) were the ones to bring the children into this world you were supposed to teach us to not want to be estranged from you. I think the sooner you accept this the easier the better off you’ll be. We’re not getting any younger.
She thinks our dad manipulated all of us to leave her. Hahahaha
@@ma.3934 what do you mean?
@martareitmajer my mom thinks me and my siblings left her because our dad (her exhusband) somehow manipulated us
@@ma.3934 ugh yeah typical. Whenever somebody from my family (like an aunt or something) would stop talking to my mom it was because according to my mom “somebody is manipulating that person.”
@martareitmajer lol yeah my mom has had multiple people leave her too and she says "everyone leaves me because I'm just too honest and too much of a sensitive soul and nobody understands". She pretends she's a fairy goddess when in reality she has the anger of a drunk dad.
The fact she buys herself a birthday gift for her daughter's birthday is a big red flag. Red flags everywhere actually
Yeah, like I'm separated from my mom but I would never think to buy myself a present on her birthday... really weird
I have always given flowers to the mother at birthday parties for the kids. I mean, mothers are the reason they are here. it's both their celebration day. not really that weird to give up buying your kid who no longer wants your in their life a gift and give yourself one for that day way back when you had them.
@__rm307 the numerous supportive comments on this video are like a drug for her no doubt
Yes, also the birthday thing in general. I mean come on, it's not about YOU!
my narcissistic mother (2 years no contact now) used to love it when my sister bought flowers on her birthday for my mother. (yeah, she was deeply enmeshed in the F-O-G back then, but has broken free since.)
You have done a good job showing why your daughter has decided to back away from you. It's all about you. Pretty sure it always was, but I wouldn't know. I do know that no one deletes a primal relationship easily and for no reason. You might want to respect her boundaries rather than create massive "im the victim" guilt trip videos.
@@zoep.2891 She might dismiss the comments calling her out, but hopefully her daughter sees them and realizes that there are many people who feel deep compassion for her and are rooting for her healing.
My question to you: what was your motivation to watch a video about estranged parents if all you do is to blame the mother?
Maybe trying to be empathic
@@heikegani1748 I think I can give a satisfying answer to your question. I came here not to blame the mother but precisely to see her side of the story. And is seeing that side that we can clearly identify her for the narcissist she is. It's all about her, her daughter's feelings are never given the slightest bit of consideration. You think it's easy to cut off a parent like that? She did what she had to do to survive.
@@DragonNya69hehe Speaking from experience I couldn't agree more with you, it is not easy to cut ties with one's own parents! The daughter might have been influenced by the higher educational system to disregard family values and mutual respect. The mother on the other hand has no confidence in her daughter's ability to succeed in life which indeed hints at a superiority complex of the mother.
This is awful… your daughter is an adult and needs her space. Respect that.
Of course. Space for her delusional new life in some cult or some abusive relationship.
@@usagi_t OR..her beautiful new life away from parents who love her with conditions. That video showed exactly why the poor girl can’t be around her parents. It’s their fault, not hers.
@@Clem7775 Yeah right. Diching parents for freedom to act crazy on tik tok. She is clearly brain wash by someone or some organization.
@@usagi_t ok i stopped talking due to my parents being in a cult so how do you explain that turd
@@usagi_t seek help, you are obviously not deserving of the title of a parent
I stopped speaking to my mother because of her cruelty, gaslighting, narcissism and scapegoating. Best decision I ever made that benefitted just me for a change.
Same. I wish I had been braver sooner.
Good for you... And how do we know this vid maker is not the same. How would we know. Making an attention seeking vid is exactly what a narc would do. I find it hard to believe that well raised kids cut off their 'great mums' just out of the blue.
@sharonjones2400 Yeah, I am not feeling sympathy for this lady. Denial and mocking their child's emotional/mental struggles got them there.
I ditched two brothers because of that also. How good does it feel.
You just told my story. I just wish I'd stop getting texts every year on my birthday, crying about not knowing what she did wrong. I was 40 before I finally sent that letter (and it had nothing to do with politics!), as while the physical abuse had stopped when I, at age 18, finally called her out on it (and my emotionally weak father finally stepped in which triggered her to accuse me of trying to break up their marriage...), the emotional abuse continued even on the rare occasions we were in the same room (yeah, I stopped going to family functions when she tried "what have I ever done to you?"! in the middle of my grandmother's funeral). When I realized that my every success was still met with gaslighting and my every failure met with contempt, it was time to give up and realize that I would never have a normal, sane, loving relationship with her. Yeah, the family thinks it's my fault - she's made sure of that. But I'm well over it, and I have an amazing life.
I’m estranged from my 26 year old daughter as of September 1, 2023. My daughter stopped speaking to me and had a baby, my third grandchild from her and she never told me. I didn’t know she had a problem with me. So, I have since stepped back and let her have her space with her new family. I initially had a meltdown and cried for days. I’m taking one day at a time. I do pray for her daily. I pray for myself as well.
I WISH I had NEVER told the B*tch that Called herself "mom" but was MY WORST ENEMY; that I was Pregnant; SOME people don't Deserve to KNOW ANYTHING.
I'm sorry this has happened to you, but realise It's only been 2½ weeks, not long by any means. Your daughter could still be talking to you, just she's busy with her family.
I'm sorry for your experience. I don't know, but could she have postpartum depression . I suggest having a mutual mediator like another adult child or any family member/close friends who could help resolve the situation. All I can say is keep the door open for communication and remember she is the one with the problem, not you . Continue to live your life and never view yourself as a bad mother. I remember I said something derogatory about my niece she told me I hurt her feelings, and I apologize .I was talking to her mother, and she had me on speaker phone, and I was unaware. So you never know what agitated a person unless they tell you. Good luck
Have you expressed this to her
Get to work and own what you’ve done.
I am estranged from my mother and it has nothing to do with politics.
I am so sorry for your loss, but I am sure your daughter made the right choice for her.
Her daughter is selfish and stupid. I would give ANYTHING to see my Mom again. I buried her 24 years ago. My best friend and soulmate.
Ouff this lady reminds me of my mother.. all the hairs on my arms are standing up, so chilling how they talk the same way. She has narcissistic personality disorder. The way i was emotionally abused and gaslit all my life,, it has left me deeply scarred, and unable to trust. Now i have a daughter and im glad we have such a loving and understanding relationship, the way i was never validated in my feelings, i pay so much attention to how my girl feels, i want her to be happy and feel safe and respected, her opinion matter to me. I learned so much emotional intelligence from my childhood. I cut all ties with my mom. Sometimes im sad over it, but have to realise that she can never change, since there is no accountability and no introspection ever. Its a shame cause i always dreamed of a different type of relationship with her. 😢 all i can do is hold my little angel tight and be for her what i never had. A real mom.
Yup she plays victim thus creating a TH-cam page to engage sympathy….she’s creepy AF
As the daughter whose mother continually hurts her, lies to her, and always leaves me hanging (and I’m an only child whose father died when I was a child)… I have learned to finally let go of that woman that gave birth to me and cared for me until she just didn’t want to be a mom anymore.
Did you hear anything in this fairly long video that resembled your mother? My take was that whatever this mother's flaws were, they didn't come close to justifying complete estrangement, and I suspect she would have raised some red flags in a 16-minute video. Your thoughts?
@michaelconnors1301 This entire video seemed like a red flag to me, she reminded me of my mother. The entire video she guilt tripped her daughter every time she would talk to her. I know it’s difficult to see your flaunts when it’s all you’re used to.
Your situation is different.
My mother was not a good one. She died alone. I was thankful and relieved when she passed. My nightmares died with her. 😊
@@pissshit9001same she reminded me of my narcissistic mother - the whole video is so manipulative, she’s trying to guilt trip her, she isn’t respecting any type of boundary. The daughter is clearly saying, leave me alone and she’s like oh, let me text you, let me email you, and then this video like come on
I am minimal contact with my mother. I was hospitalized with a condition called takotsubo cardiomyopathy directly after a particularly difficult episode of verbal abuse. I decided it was in my best interest to go zero contact. I don’t know why I waited until I was 49 years old to stand up for myself. Not all parents are good parents.
@@tx-sweet-pjg3547- same.
@@tx-sweet-pjg3547You do not “ know” their situation. You are assuming and possibly projecting.
This video is so phony. The way it’s so dramatically shot and filmed is clearly to make herself look like the victim. I don’t blame her daughter for leaving.
@@tx-sweet-pjg3547 There are many toxic children today, especially around the daughter's age. She is a reflection of our self-absorbed culture. I teach teens and I see the complete self-centeredness and entitled attitude on their part.
@@spicybicy6667 There are many toxic children today, especially around the daughter's age. She is a reflection of our self-absorbed culture. I teach teens and I see the complete self-centeredness and entitled attitude on their part. If they on't get what they want that vile character inside them comes out. Just do a search of teachers that quit because of administration allowing toxic teenagers to do what they want.
There is no question this mother is/was hurting. It’s only a shame that her video breezed through the daughter’s letter - it was almost portrayed as “and blah blah blah,” when it appears to be the truest reason behind her leaving. If someone had written me a letter with any amount of that, I would have said “Oh my god I’m SO sorry. Please tell me because I hurt you inadvertently and I don’t ever want to do that again.”
If her daughter ever did see this video, it was probably a confirmation of not being able to work out these things in their relationship. It’s very sad.
Loved the part where when you read the part in the book about amending, and taking accountability for your actions you could stomach the idea, then proceeded to think the best way to win your daughter back was to ignore all the boundaries she sat, along with making a video where you name her and share her medical diagnosis online to the public im sure this is definitely the right step to getting her back in your life.
I found that the hardest part of being estranged from my adult daughter and grandchildren was letting go of the dream I had for us. Family. Once I released that, it got a little easier. I am comforted often by the poetry of Kahlil Gibran:
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you, they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite.
And He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hands be for happiness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So He loves the bow that is stable.
~ Khalil Gibran
Yes treat it like a death unfortunately.. time heals.. and when they need something or life hasn’t been good to them they’ll come sniffing!
@@Caareenkm6726 time heals very little in my experience... and it's one of those clichés with a sting to it.
But I absolutely agree; when they need something, you'll be hearing from them!
That is a beautiful poem. Thank you for sharing it. ❤
Love this. Thank you.
I gave that book to my estranged daughter after the 3rd or 4th ghosting..it's a Beautiful poem 🙏🙏🙏🫂
All of my children cut ties with me several years ago. I was devastated and broken hearted, I still am, but I have learned to take accountability for what I did and didn't do as a parent. I respect their truth and their experiences growing up, and how it affected them - and still affects them greatly as adults. I respect their choices to walk away. I only send them cards and money on birthdays and christmas. I only write I love you in them now a days. Even the fact that I do that is probably the wrong choice. I will never forgive myself for any of it. I won't contact them, except the cards. I will not allow other people to contact them on my behalf. What I have done to cause this chain of events has destroyed so many lives that I will never expose anyone else to my type of "love" ever again to ensure that I protect their safety. Listen to your children's actions. Sometimes the old trope of, "we did the best we could," disrespects the fact that it still wasn't right for them.
Beautiful person
@@RisetoStrength I'm sorry if my post came across like that. That was not the impression I was trying to give. After reading it over again, I can see why it may sound like I think parents don't have an obligation to their children, but that is not my belief at all. I believe a parent's greatest responsibility is to raise their children with love, empathy, support, safety and with a unique approach that is built on the specific needs of each child as an individual. Every parent has the obligation to provide their children with these basic needs and so much more.
@@skr8674 my picture is a cartoon filter from several years ago. I did start having children in high school too. There were many factors that led to me being an awful parent, but what it comes down to is it was/is my responsibility to be the person they needed and deserved. I will never forgive myself for not providing them with all they needed and deserved. I desperately wish I could do it all over again. I will never forgive myself for being a terrible parent.
@@ellyk8834 absolutely. The problem lies with me for failing them. I am the one accountable and responsible for everything. I respect their decisions that they made to protect themselves. I was a terrible parent.
@@skr8674 the only reason I even mentioned sending them cards/gifts is because I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good by doing so. I worry that it may be too painful and invasive for them to receive anything from me at all. I don't want to be disrespectful of their choice to cut ties. I would actually appreciate input from anyone going through this with their parents about whether or not it is ok to receive anything like that from your parents? I just want to do what's best for them.
I hope the daughter is happy
Thx I appreciate your support
She doesn’t talk much at all about all the reasons why the daughter disconnected. She’s acting like it came out of nowhere. But the parents mention something about her saying “love with strings attached” and totally dismissing it. They must have all her life dismissed her feelings. Even in this very video … 😢
There is another side to this story. I was sexually abused as a young child by my father and as I became older he became very frightened that I would tell someone the secret. He and my mother worked very hard to turn my siblings against me. My character was ruined. I don't have much to do with any of them. The abuse from my family is heart wrenching. People don't know the whole story and so they continue to hurt the victim. Please don't blame the person who disconnects from the family until you know the truth. All of the truth.
And then willing to accept the truth.
But that's not what this story is.
@@CMA.3636how do you know when you’ve only heard one side??
I agree! Also, you deserved better. No child deserves an abusive parent. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Your words are so wise. Thank you for sharing💗
This is spot on. Thank you.
You may love her forever but you wont truly listen to her forever and THAT is why she stopped talking to you. At some point in your relationship, your ears got smaller and your mouth got bigger.
The depth of a person's character is defined in part by overlooking another person's shortcomings. Refusing to overlook a close family member's shortcomings will result in a life devoid of real fulfillment.
Wow, you know this as true is sadly comical 🙄🤦♀️
@@moabman6803 if you think this is only about politics your wrong. Mom wont tell the whole truth and has decided to paint her daughter as the crazy girl who stopped talking to her trumper parents, would love if mom linked her daughters tiktoks.
@@dct1238 mom already wasnt listening. She belittled the reason her daughter cut off contact and barely mentioned it. She belittled her tiktoks, she didn’t wven go to the full extent as to why her daughter cut her off. I know this to be true because i watched the video lol
Precisely. All I heard in this video is “We’re so hurt”, and “Our daughter doesn’t even care, she’s so cruel”. Victim mentality and 0 accountability. Very convenient
She was supposed to thank you for not letting her choke?? 🤦🏾♀️
Yeah, this whole disgusting video is "Where's my cookie?"
What will you do when your parents are dead?
@@joef.4643live on. What else are people supposed to do?
@@joef.4643do nothing
@@joef.4643 Honestly being relieved that my abusers can't hurt me anymore. The world will feel so big and I so free when they are gone.
Cutting contact always has a reason. I think your daughter told you exactly why it was neccessary for her. Think about in a self-reflective way instead of showing the world that you are the poor victim.
We shut out my husband's mother almost 5 yrs ago. She was abusive, verbally and physical. Very narcisstic. My husband is finally starting to heal. My kids (they are adults now, but were teenagers at the time of the estrangement) are so much happier now.
I am sending love and hugs to the parents who are trying to figure it out with their kids.
Like to hear the poor mother's side of the story.. ppl make up all kinds of crap to justify their own horrible behaviour
@Ancienttways Yes, that's what my whole family does. We lie about the abuse my MIL did to us. That's why there are stories that come up at family reunions about the time she got mad at one of her aunts and tried to kill her with a big rock. Or the times she pulled a gun on people (she used to threaten to shoot her neighbors all the time.) My son goes to therapy because of the abuse she did to him. But, that's okay. I'm just a random YT user.
What is that supposed to mean? Ever heard of talking it over? Or seeking help? Family is important…I think this is a North American illness
My mother was the same 👍👍
My daughter started calling me a narcissist about 2 years ago. When she couldn’t keep a drivers license 15 years ago I was called an alcoholic, even though I seldom drink and only drank daily when I was going through my divorce in 2004. Currently I haven’t had a drink at all in 10 years….she has no clue and still calls me an alcoholic when ranting. Her friends tell me she claims she was beaten as a child….that never happened. One of those friends lived with us for 9 months her last year in high school and ended her friendship over these lies. Lying has been an issue her entire life. As a child she was most likely to hit another child, she hit me several times as a teenager. Has tried and failed to hit me as an adult. Anger is a lifelong problem for her.
Here is what I know to be true….your not qualified to diagnose another person. Every time you call your mother in law that name you are over stepping your level of expertise. My daughter is so verbally abusive I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2021 I can say that because a trained psychiatrist I have been seeing since 2003 has determined this. His advice was to let her go. Which isn’t difficult because she never calls unless she wants something. She makes good money now so that is less and less. Your hate for your mother in law is where you want to live, but it makes you petty. At the end of the story she is still his mother. If being kind to her is a step too far for you…..that says more about you than her.
Always two viewpoints to every story. As a child I was both abused and neglected, neither were ever acknowledged, I walked away from them all and never regretted it.
REAL abuse is different from i just wanted to do what i wanted to do and you wouldnt let me kids an abusive parent would never care enough to make a video
@@lindaVanVranken Maybe. Perhaps her daughter would make a rebuttal,.it's always good to hear both sides isn't it?
So sorry
Same.
Very valid point. My mom is currently estranged from her sister, as am I, and I was there for every adult interaction they had. When I tell you that my aunt’s whining about the family being mean to her and not loving her like she deserved is a lie, I’m saying it firsthand. Because of what I saw from my truly horrible aunt, I am always skeptical when I hear a sob story from someone on the receiving end of an estrangement. I’m not at all saying that this mom in particular is deserving! I would never comment on an estrangement that doesn’t involve me, but I will forever remember that there are things I can’t know or see that lead two people to go no contact.
If either of my adult children did this, i would go to the ends of the earth to understand what got them to this point. What did the letter actually say as to WHY she needed to detach from you? What is her pain? It must have felt so bad to her that cutting ties was her only choice. Did a psychologist read the letter so help you understand?
You sound like an amazing parent. ❤ I wish these parents could be like you.
Some people don't know love. If she really loved that girl she would not even have the energy to make this production.
The pain would have been immobilizing. The questions would not give room for this.
This lady is frightening.
@@triggabunexactly!!! Your comment was spot on
I like how she insinuates that the problem is driven by politics rather than her own toxic behaviour. They always like to insert an excuse as to why things are so dysfunctional in their family to deflect from their own dysfunction
My mother and I were estranged for a decade. I was grateful we mended fences before she passed. At 69 a month before her 70 th birthday. We got about 10 years back together in communication before she passed. But I walked on eggshells the entire time. My mom was narcissistic and passive aggressive. I had to pull away for my own mental wellbeing. Prayers for your family
Your mom sounds a bit like mine. I reached out to her many times before she died but she never responded. Her rejection of me was nothing new.
@OpalDreams-gx8gqduh on you.. twisting what you think happened!
@OpalDreams-gx8gqyou have too much gas! Now move on with that gas and do your own video on your own mother!
@OpalDreams-gx8gq
You need anger management.
@OpalDreams-gx8gqthank goodness for copy and paste
So, it is possible that I missed it, because I am human; however, I didn't hear a single instance of "I could/might be wrong about some of the things you named as reasons why you didn't want anything to do with us anymore." I find this more telling than anything else presented in this video. It shadows all the 'I still love you' comments with the truth of, "I am not now, nor have I ever been wrong. This is still all your fault."
Yep.
So true. I knew she had a bigger part to play in the separation than she realizes when she said she showed up to the funeral, followed by "to her credit." I don't think I've ever used that phrase in everyday conversation. Sounds condescending.
There only was one reason - she voted for trump. Which absolutely is NOT a valid reason to cut off your flesh and blood.
@@cococock2418 actually, supporting a fear mongering, racist, bigoted, dictator wannabe is plenty of reason to turn your back on anyone, family or not.
At the end of the video, the mom wishes her daughter all of the happiness and only wants the best life for her regardless of what that is. This is a horrible horrible thing to do to your parents. I had a complicated relationship with my mother and sure it would have been easier to walk away. I’m glad I didn’t.
“I buy myself a present on her birthday” 😂 I hope your daughter has been having a great life and learning to live without the stress of a mentally taxing parent
If the daughter distances herself from the mother, most likely it is because the mother is a covert narcissist, a wolf wrapped in sheep's clothing, and then cries like a victim to get the attention of others "my daughter stopped talking to me", Others must ask themselves, "hey, you're the mother, she was under your care, you must have done something (or not done) to make her stop talking to you." I say this because my mother plays this game every time she abuses me, and then she takes advantage of this situation and cries in front of others because "I leave her, I get angry and I walk away from her" horrible psychological abuse. Most likely the daughter is the scapegoat of the family as well.
Yeah We paid 10 Thousand dollars to get Her out of Jail and hired a Lawyer for Her divorce ! Tell me !! Tells me to go F my because She might have to pay child support ? And We are Wrong ?
Every family is different.
I would love to know the daughters version and experience. I stopped talking to my father about 4 years ago when I realized he is a misogynistic narcissist. He never apologized when I pointed out how he had hurt or disappointed me. He always answered with a “so what are you doing about it to fix it”. He still sends me messages of “I love you”. He loves me for himself, not for me. He’s incapable of loving, as he never loved anyone other than himself enough to understand and apologize for his mistakes. He is toxic. My life is so much better without him and I feel absolutely nothing for him. No guilt and no love but also no resentment. It’s like he never existed.
Something so evil in your response. You do not honor your very DNA. Sickening.
I see you're not there yet, but sometimes forgiveness helps one heal. You say you aren't holding onto anger or resentment, but i suspect whatever you're holding onto isn't healthy for you. You seem pretty passionate in your post about your father. Which, I know I don't know your whole story.
I had a lot of resentment and anger in my younger years. I still do to some degree, but now that I'm a little older and I think a little wiser, I'm trying to see things through a different filter, trying to be more understanding, if anything, for myself.
Nothing can right the wrongs of the past, I agree, but sometimes people can change. I could give a good example of this, but it's a long story. Essentially, my father was a better grandfather to my son than he was a father to me. Details aside, this helped me understand that we all have the ability to learn and grow. I'm not saying my father was the devil or anything. He was much younger then and not as patient or kind when I was a kid. I don't know your situation except for what you wrote so obviously, only you'll know if he's worthy of forgiveness someday. In my situation there was both good and bad. I still love him for the good. If that makes sense.
I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just giving my perspective on things.
@@jwsuicides8095 I'm sorry 😞 Not all people deserve to be parents. All you can do as someone who's been through that is to try to break the cycle. Be better to your own kids.
it’s hard for an older person to say sorry. I think he might be hurting or feeling sorry and he might not say so aloud. I don’t know everyone’s situation but not everyone is that expressive n it’s pretty hard n torturing for the person who can’t even express it. You may want to be loved in a certain way but he still loves you prob not the way you expected it.
@@MissysDomainOr you can just accept the fact that some children don't enjoy being around narcissists?
I have no Idea why this came up,I've never searched this but I have been estranged from both my daughters for over 4 years now. I didn't need to sit here and bawl for 16 minutes and 57 seconds. I thought I was okay today. I'm right here with you my friend. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone. Peace
The bible says this will happen at the end times.
@@sandyfreyman3501Sadly, yes.
There are a lot of us in the same situation🤗
same...I'm a father in the same situation don't blame yourself. this is pure political indoctrination in the schools ,media ect... this is a Maoist revolution look up the history carefully and closely and this is exactly how they got children to turn against their parents.
Me as well just when I feel as though it is ok to try and be happy I can't. The lady above said she wasn't going to allow her daughter to destroy her,I don't know how to feel about her statement bc I get what she is saying,but it is destroying me. I believe I will die of "broken heart syndrome".
This has nothing to do with politics. Why didn’t you read your daughter’s letter?
It irks me how she's using her daughter's estrangement for clout.
Before I make a sound conclusion of this, I would definitely be interested in hearing the daughter share her experiences and why she ultimately chose to go no contact. This is not something that just happened out of nowhere.
It kinda is in these days of “identity politics” where are you sleeping under a rock or are you one of those “living their truth” ? PS their is no such thing as “my truth” only actual “TRUTH” there is my version of events and perversion of both truth & events !! As you’re so sympathetic to the daughter guess I can wish this on ? Yes ?
She said she voted for Trump that’s all it takes with some who don’t understand.
Well typically if a child does this in there teens or early 20's it's easy to assume they had outside stimulus promoting their decision. I know in my case it was a woke feminism push that caused it.
She saw all the Trump bad posts and can't critically think for herself. Elites plans are working though, keep fighting about politics!
@@Sunnydreamer1470it sounds like the daughter had a lot MORE to say but that was all brushed over with a bad overlapping effect. We only hear one side, and that side is biased.
I was estranged from my daughter for 8 years. She messaged me three years ago and we were able to repair our relationship. I never thought that would happen. I’m so grateful.
What us moms need to know is when our kids are little we tell them what to do and how to do it etc., teaching them. We forget when they’re adults they don’t want that. It’s their life. We can’t tell them how they should live it if we don’t agree. It’s just like you wouldn’t want your mom to come over and tell you how you should be doing things. It’s hard letting our children go as adults as we’re always their mom but give them their wings to fly. Let them be adults and don’t try to relate to them as if they’re still children.
I wish everyone who is struggling in a broken relationship that one day it can be repaired. 💕
it's called HOPE . But do not get hung up on that and miss life in the mean time,. The world NEEDS all the lov e you have in your heart. Give it awway to the many lost children who want it!
My stepmother distanced herself from me because I was with my blood siblings and she was going through a custody dispute. I was like I'd she wants in my life she can or not be in it. Well I moved away. She finally retired and the people she placed over me left her. I was there and told her and it came true. The one who she did the most for is very unappreciated of all the help and financial support she got. I am in a way grateful she did what she did cause the true people who cared was with me. I got divorced and moved on with a friend. We are engaged. I got back on Facebook. SHE contacted me. So she friended me back. So we aired out. And she apologized for not being there for me. We will see.
With God's blessing it will. But sometimes what you do or did when someone was growing up comes back to bite you.
What a wonderful comment! I commend you for working on your relationship with your daughter! My dad made some changes and was ready to reconnect when I reached out to him after years of estrangement. I'm so glad I did that and that he was able to respond appropriately. Best wishes to you and your family!
@@EyeLean5280 thank you and all the best to you as well.
"I really thought we did our best"
You did. Your daughter's point is that your best was not good. Your best was BAD. You did a bad job.
You don't have children do you?
@@starira nope. My children live on the same ranch. We are happy.
I can’t believe someone is this clueless. And the grin on her face the whole time is haunting.
This video is highly suspect. What does ssys might be true but it also might be true that this woman is a narcissistic attention lover. It took a lot of time to produce a video like this. The crying and carrying on in a public setting scream out that she may be doing this for attention and is obsessive with feeling sorry for herself.....but then takes it one step further needing others to feel sorry for her as well. All under the guise of trying to help others. Her virtue must shine to the world and she makes sure it does.
The way she discounted the "Amends" section of Rules of Estrangement says everything
I dont even have to see the daughter's side of the story to know she's in the right.
Mom does a great job of making herself look awful (if you're not easily deceived)
She just put out a new video 🤦♀️
Don’t give up on her - I was estranged from my dad for most of my life - the biggest AHole I ever knew- moved to another side of the world- like your daughter, got diagnosed with high functioning autism/ Asperger’s late in life - than I heard from one of my sisters that he had serious health issues and couldn’t live on his own any longer- out of all us- my siblings and I ( they’re 7 of us) I was the one that chose to move back to help my dad. I’m giving you the short version of the story here but all this to say that as horribly our relationship was growing up, we now have the best relationship I could ever ask for - in one year we were able to mend our relationship and can talk about anything and everything openly with maturity and compassion. I’m 54 he’s 83. As long as there is life there is hope❣️
Love this, thanks for the inspiration!
No. She should. Her daughter is not lost. She is a narcissist she is a non human
That happened with my mom and I, about 6 months before she passed away.
My mom was the one that hated me, she didn't like anything about me, she used to complain that I was the worst daughter that she ever had, even though I was living for the Lord and doing all things Right.
I didn't smoke or drink or sleep around, I was going to church 4 to 5 times a week and had the most wonderful friends I could ever have asked for.
I learned how to sew and used to make all of my own clothes, I didn't swear and I didn't do anything but maybe speak disrespectfully to her at times, as all teenagers do, but I've never been in trouble with the law and nor did I give her any real problems but for some reason she just didn't like me.
I had to hear about it my entire life, that I was a spoiled rotten brat and that I only wanted my own way whenever I could get it and that's not true.
It was later on about 5 years ago that my sister told me that she was jealous of me my whole life and I wonder if that was my mom's problem as well.
I asked my sister why she was jealous of me and she said it was because I had blonde hair and blue eyes and got a lot of attention from the boys and was outgoing and could make friends easy, so she was jealous of me and didn't want me around growing up and even now as adults.
She still doesn't want me around but for different reasons and she claims it's for a different narrative, but I think it was because they were both jealous of The joy and happiness that I found in the Lord as a young 14-year-old growing up in a very broken home.
My father died when I was 11 and my mother was a working alcoholic who slept around before she met my stepfather and married him (he was a saint).
It was only about 6 months before my mom passed away I moved to be near her and to help my sister take care of her even though she didn't want me there.
I got an apartment not too far away from my mom's house and would go over there periodically to help my sister take care of her and cook.
I heard all kinds of criticism from my mom and my sister and it was a very tough time for me because I know they didn't like me being there.
I kept the faith and just kept my mouth shut as much "as possible", but had to defend my honor a number of different times.
It wasn't until my other sister came to stay with my mom that I felt impressed to go see my mom one day and I told my mom that I was sorry if I've ever hurt her and that I wanted her to forgive me "even though I felt I had nothing to be forgiven for or to be sorry for".
I felt it was just the right thing to do to break the ice and so she said, I'm sorry too and if I've done anything to hurt you I apologize as well".
We hugged and I prayed with her and spoke in tongues and the Holy Ghost fell that day and filled the entire house with his presence and from that day forward my mom and I had had the most amazing and tranquil relationship and then four months later she passed away.
I laid on her bed while she lay there lifeless, I started to sing the song hallelujah and cry and I didn't care who was around or who heard me I just needed to grieve and that was the best way for me to grieve and just sing as loud as I could.
So there is hope and a light at the end of the tunnel... God is good
JESUS IS THE ANWER!
@@sweetbeep as difficult it was for him to do so he has apologized- lots of tears for both of us during this last year.
Through all of this video, it was all ME ME ME ME ME ME ME, absolutely NO trying to understand.
As someone who is on the verge to letting go of my mother, I can say the ME--ness of this video is the reason why I don't want to see my mother.
When you said “I thought she was a normal kid,” I knew you were the problem.
The hardest part of having kids-and the part that no one can ever prepare you for-is letting them go and trusting that they will be OK. My family has an absolutely horrific history of teenage rebellion, decades-long grudges, and feuds for no apparent reason. I did what I could to raise my daughter in a way that would break that pattern, but it didn't. I told her that I understood, and I told her I knew she wouldn't believe that for at least ten years, but that one day she would. And I told her that when that day came, she could come to me and tell me what she needed. She did. We are OK now, though we both have to work at it sometimes. I wish you and your family the best.
Tard alert: ""horrific history of teenage rebellion""
Tf that even mean?
Estrangement doesn’t just happen. There is a reason. (usually many of them) Until those are brought out into the open, and worked on, there will be no reconciliation. I let two abusive family members go from my life. You reach a point where you realize that if you both aren’t trying, then nothing positive is possible. You reach a point where you walk away in order to save yourself.
I believe this lady is hurting. I don't believe she is innocent. I can feel the narcissism thru my phone - everything is about HER, still making digs at her daughter being on social media, buying herself gifts on her daughters bday (for real, wtf?!) couldn't for a second feel contrite, refuses to look in the mirror. This entire video is a textbook lesson on selfishness and the cost of always having to be right.
Yes, this is a way of saying, "It's not my fault". There's a reason why her daughter stopped all contact, she just doesn't want to see it. Quite pathetic to be honest.
Yeah well there is also really times where kids are truly incorrect and they brigkn to believe their own bullshit
For me, it was the "we did everything, all that time, resources, etc." I've seen this exact same thing in most cases of child estrangement, including my own, my sisters', and a friend. If you think your children owe you love and attention because you gave them what you were supposed to when they were growing up and used your resources on them.
The Missing Missing Reasons - these people never understand why their child would go NC with them, even though they're all staring them right in the face.
Saying her name in this video, sharing private details about her, etc etc is what makes me think she may have a legitimate reason to cut you off. I can understand making a video about your pain... But don't make her details public, that's not cool.
And my mom is a Trump supporter, and honestly that's very hard for me. But i don't cut her off, and you know why? Because when i tell her about other ways that she's hurt me, she apologizes and tries not to do it again. That makes all the difference.
Why didn’t you share your daughters points??? You say it was about politics but she mentioned you gaslit her and guilt tripped her!!!
We never did.
@@estrangedparents I think if you really want healing between you and your daughter, you need to acknowledge that if she said that this happened, then it happened. Perhaps you see it in another way - for you it was not gaslighting. But for her, it was. If you don't acknowledge her reality, how can she be in any kind of a real relationship with you?
I say this as a daughter who has a fake and very surface level relationship with my parents. My Mum has also gaslit me on numerous occasions. She even guilt tripped me recently about my father's job - when I was a child - 'He did that for you!!!" she said - like somehow, as a child, I was the one responsible for his work choices?! What???
I feel the most true thing for me to do with my parents would also be to go no contact. But so far I can't. It's so painful. But it's also extremely painful to be in a fake relationship with someone who has been abusive (and continues to be) and never acknowledges this.
Have you heard of Imago therapy? It might be something interesting to explore. I am working with this now with my partner.
Wishing you well.
@@estrangedparents sounds like more gaslighting. And the way you glossed over her letter and tried to pretend like it never happened? So rude and dismissive of her! All you wrote back was “received” and then went on to “like” her social media posts as if nothing happened. If she felt guilt tripped and gaslit by you, her feelings are valid
@@estrangedparents says you.
@@estrangedparents We don't believe you.
I am in the same position! It’s been 11 years. It’s extremely painful. No one understands unless you’ve been through it. I truly feel your pain!
Me too😕
Be gentle n kind to ur selves. U deserve that.
I'm so sad to see this but I am the daughter who doesn't want to speak to her mama and seeing this shows how ĥurt she probably is. But my mom has deeply hurt me and I don't know what to do with that apart from having strong boundaries. She calls me texts me but I just can't most times because she won't change. I miss her so much but also know she's unhealthy and I'm trying yo be healthy. Sigh
We have a 54 yr old dgtr with every sign and symptom of a NPD. Lori decided to seduce her boss, broke up her marriage and his. She has lied abt me, her mother, to justify all the wicked things she has done in her adult life. We have not had a parent child relationship in 11 yrs. Lori went on to marry the MD she worked for. She would say “I want power.” She would not let us visit with the grands. She used me to take care of her children while she worked on a PA education. I lost my adult son 3 yr ago due to heart disease. Hope she is happy and healthy. I choose to grieve for my beloved son and be a caring grandmother to his children. Lori did not come from a dysfunctional family. A very manipulative liar. Her life, her choice. I have to move on so that I am free of bad thoughts. PS: my mother abandoned her husband and children. We never heard from her for 7 yrs. Apples fall from apple trees. I always think, so many people in this world have it worse than me. Venting to the world, I want my son back.
@@Sophie-jf1nl What do you mean by "strong boundaries" - yours? Have you tried to talk to your mom about how you feel she has hurt you? Have you considered family therapy? Resolving matters could be good for both, not just one person. Sometimes we don't know what we did wrong to someone. Sometimes as mothers we don't know all our children's needs and children do not know how to express them. Children can have needs WE never had, so they may not be obvious to us. They may need things we never needed so they may be foreign to us in how to meet. LOts of it have to do with not knowing each others understandings. Of course, there are people too traumatized to realize the wrong they do. No matter who they are or how old or young. SOmetimes we dont realize how our mothers must protect us as children or young people.... until we are adults ourselves or have children or go through a certain experience. We often have to review our childhood to see where did we misunderstand or misinterpret something we were too young to understand in an adult world. often we take responsibilities that do not belong to us, because as children we want to help... then it backfires because it hurts us as being too much of a burden for our then capacity.
We as children make decisions too based on our level of understanding. We also do not know how to explain how we feel when its happening... so our parents cant help. There is so many aspects. Sometimes we listen to people that give us wrong advice, because its easier for us to express our home issues to other adults like friends' parents/mothers - and not our own parents, expecting reactions we are afraid of whether true or imagined. Maybe there were situations we misinterpreted and they don't know that, or the opposite. Communication and mutual listening is often the answer. Sometimes we are just selfish for what WE want (parent or child) so that is more difficult. But also of course plain meanness or addictions may never be solved unless the guilty changed himself. Many times letters back and forth are better if you cannot confront, because it allos for thought.
As someone who is currently low contact with her mom, it's not out of the blue or without reason. I've said what i needed. My mom doesn't change. I personally find it difficult to cut all contact but we have a surface only relationship now and it's very sad. I just can't imagine your daughter didn't let you know what she needed from you before cutting contact.
Yes me too, it is very sad, this topic is very sensitive because i had to make peace that my mother who actually doesn’t care that much as she pretends. Like this women said, ,I said that I love her that’s what mum supposed to do right.’ this reminds me of my mum…
We care deeply for our daughter and obviously did much introspection, and about how she feels. We don't share her letter out of privacy. We would love to have heard her reasons before her letter and no contact and had an opportunity to discuss but she stole that from us. I am not a victim just sad. I obviously don't own her or want to control her. We feel bad she rejected us. We deserve love too. We are adult kids too. So much anger from adult children commenting. They don't know me and say I'm narc and a bad patent. I feel so bad for them.
@@estrangedparents You're missing the point.
You are unable to put aside your feelings and wants and believes which prevents you from being there for your daughter by saying stuff like "she stole that from us", which implies that you believe she owes you something which comes across narcissistic. Kids do not owe anything to their parents. If you follow and believe that then you will immediately improve the chance of healing the relationship.
Another example of missing the point: your daughter asked for no contact and to only contact for family emergencies. You immediately and continually ignored that boundary for several years. To your daughter that shows you did not read what she said, therefore not respecting her as an individual and as an adult.
I am glad you started to do some introspection, but I advise doing introspection without the unconscious or perhaps unintentional goal of finding blame, but rather understand where she is coming from. Put yourself in her shoes.
@@Remys-b2vthis is good ☝👍
@@estrangedparentsfix it before it’s too late with all due respect
The fact that I can’t tell if this is a parody or not says a lot 💀💀💀