I found it interesting about the "independence" factor. My first husband wanted me completely dependent. My precious second husband just died at 93 and after 33 years all he cared about was that I was by his side. Anything I did, wanted or whatever, was just fine with him. I ask the Lord every day to tell him how much I love him and I'll love him for all eternity.
How beautiful it is to have had such a wonderful relationship with your husband. It really is important to feel loved and to be able to give that in return. I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your husband, but it sounds though he’s left you with so many wonderful memories. Thank you so much for sharing.❤️
It is really a big surprise that independece is so important to guys. I think they are just got feminine! They have become less men, too lazy, cowards .... Where are the real man, the brave heroes who are able and eager to protect their wifes and family?! Who is masculine while searching for a feminine woman to share life with her, who would be a great houswife and mother to his children while he can provide for his family. The men nowadays have just not been brought up to be like that anymore. This is the problem. As soon as I hear they like independent women that mostly says they just are afraid of being in charge of a family and responsible!!! The values have changed so much, actually everything has real value is no nothinh and vice versa. With no hope to get better.
I married for the first time at age 55 two years ago...I was willing to spend my life being single vs being unhappy with the wrong guy just to be married. Making me laugh was high on my list along with being kind...He is both...everyday with my husband is fun, full of laughs, and especially love...I’m so blessed 💖 Sandra, you look especially beautiful today!!
Sherri, I am so very happy for you. I have a feeling that because you were happy with yourself and had good self-esteem that you attracted someone with those same values. Much happiness to you both. Thank you so much for sharing❤️
I think of the very true line from the 80’s movie, Sex, Lies & Videotape. “Men learn to love the person they’re attracted to, and women become more and more attracted to the person they love.”
I dissagree. I never learned to love romantically someone I loved as a friend only, despite my best efforts. He was a good guy but I was not attracted to him. Men aren't s3x machines either. They fall in love, cry and have heartbreaks. Sure, if you are into hookups or date someone who had many partners you may be inclined to see men differently, but thats only because you expose yourself to low quality men.
I agree with you on what we women (or at least myself) look for in a man. When I was looking for a man after divorcing my first husband, I was 52. All I wanted was someone who was kind. Well, he turned out to be the kindest man ever. He said he was attracted to my looks when he first met me; however, we soon discovered we had a love for adventure travel. For the past 10 years we've gone everywhere from the Congo to Antarctica. My feeling is that as a woman, I take care of my physical appearance, but I also have a passion for traveling and animals. My main advice for women is to find someone who is kind and will put you first and adore you.
Your last point of advice was absolutely on the right track. Those qualities are so important. I am so happy for you that you have found someone who is your soulmate and you enjoy sharing adventures together.❤️
@@lydialumanlan7776 sometimes we find the kind one and they adore us (atleast they show that they do), but somehow we dont feel attracted towards them. Not sure why does this happen I am 52, but feel like i am too old for anything. May be its the menopause which is wreaking havoc in my system. I have lost the desire for a man's touch.
I'm turning 60 early next year and think and feel I know exactly what I want in life now. I have learned to love myself and take good care of me.. Since I got divorced I worked on myself and established my boundaries. This is the time of my life I feel complete and found happiness from within. More men pay attention to me now, they say my positive energy is very attractive. I enjoy all the attention, if any man meets my standards that will amplify my happiness that'll be great! I'd rather stay single and content than be with the wrong company.
I think you were absolutely right in all points in your comment. It’s better to be happy and alone than to be miserable in a relationship that’s not right. Everything good is worth waiting for. If it comes along, fine. If not, you are happy within yourself. That is the best way of life.❤️
Hi Sandra I just found your channel. I must say it's very interesting. I am turning 62 . I just want peace,joy and happiness in my life right now. If that means being alone. I am fine.
Your comments remind me of something the radio psychologist Susan Forward said, which I think everyone should remember. "There is one thing worse than being alone: Wishing you were."
Yes...true that. Happy being alone, do what I please, spent 💵 what I want...have no one to answer to. Don’t need anyone to control me, and cause me any stress👍🏻😆.
Now that I’m 60, I don’t know if I want another man. They might get “ailments’ and I would have to take care of them! My eyes get to twitching thinking about it! lol NOOOO!! lol
Does it matter what men want? Enjoy your life, have some close friends, make a lovely life for yourself, and help others, If a great man for you comes along then great, if he doesn't then great. You shouldn't find validation in someone else it comes with you. Strive to be happy whether with a man or not.
Charlotte excellent comment. I’ve always said to build your own life and be happy with who you are. If you want a companion and he comes along that’s icing on the cake. ❤️
@H Exactly. Successful men have many choices and the women are typically up to 20 years younger without baggage so we're not even considering women of the same age!
@@lifewithsandrahart Beneath anger Is usually unresolved trauma or sadness. The issue is how willing the person is to deal with it and move on. You don't want to be stuck with their anger, and being used as a punching bag. Nor do you want to be only there for the good times, and condemning someone for having 'baggage'. If you're remotely interesting as a person, you will have baggage. The issue is how much work you're willing to do on it. IMO.
I’m a 62year old man and the first thing I look at is a woman’s appearance, she doesn’t have to be beautiful but she has to do the best she can with what was dealt her, (men should do the same) she has to be confident in herself and look at each day as a blessing regardless of the circumstances, and BTW Sandra.. your a doll
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts with us today Chadwick. It’s so nice to have a male perspective on his idea of what men find most attractive in women. Thank you for stopping by today. ❤️
I agree with you...character is mightily important...how a man treats others. I am 62, happily divorced and enjoying my life more than ever. I enjoyed your video and am so happy to have found this group!
First thing I noticed about a man, is His appearance, is He clean? His hair neat, or appealing. His clothes. Eyes and build. Personality and sense of humor. Is He FUN? P.s. I really REALLY dislike men with long scraggly beards.. I mean, they need to be styled just like the hair. That's The biggest turn off for me. Instantly. Unkempt. They look like my Father Time. Ugh. Or bums. Sorry, I truly can't stand them. And..... When a moustache is all long, He has no lips. Ugh.. .nasty. If you can't take care if it........ DON'T WEAR IT.
@@curlyq690 hey I dumped my bf. Many years younger. Cause if the ugly white beard and mustache soooo long. No lips. Seriously. I used to sit and watch him eat. Cause you just see the mustache moving. It's like a cartoon. I called him Father Time. Yesterday, he thought he'd stop by and say hi. Man, He could bed 10 months pregnant with that belly. Now his hair is almost all grey... And lost a lot too. I looked at him. Went hmmmm. You know your hair could be white by Christmas. Then you could play Santa Claus. My son and girlfriend died laughing. It's freaking true. Yet they'll be the first one to talk about women. Then, He's got a big head. He's not what I would call good looking at all. I could fix him up too appear a lot better looking. But he wouldn't do it. Too much trouble. Yet another reason why I broke up with him. Where are all the good decent men . I have a gay guy that's my friend. Omg, He totally understand me. He treats me like a lady, buys me bunches of gifts. Takes me out to eat. Money not a problem. And he cooks. Damn. I help him with makeup. I got him looking for hairstyles for me. He's the best friends ever. Seriously. And Valentine's is coming soon. He took me out last year. I was bummed out. He talked me into going. I hit two cards, Smoked Salmon encrusted with pecans and got dessert too. I felt like a Queen. I got gifts candy 🌹. I had a bag full of stuff. Nothing cheap. It's all good stuff. Great friendship.
I agree😊 I'm 49 and met my partner a year ago. He wasn't my type, i wasn't physically attracted to him but he made me laugh and and we just got along it was so easy to be with him. Thank goodness I gave him a chance as he is perfect for me, what I need and such a gentleman and now I adore him😘
I really enjoyed this topic... thank you! I’m 64 my first husband died when I was in my 30’s with a 6 and 4 year old. I dated a bit and had a serious relationship that didn’t work out. After that I decided to stop looking until the children were raised. I really stopped looking and was just enjoying my life. When I was 50 a guy from my work asked me out. I knew he was a Christian and I knew he had been a faithful and caring husband. So I went out for coffee and we had so much fun!! I hadn’t laughed so hard in years. We had so much in common. I really appreciated the fact that he pursued me. I realized I had never been pursued before! I highly recommend it
Lynny, what a wonderful and uplifting story. I did the same thing when I was raising my children I couldn’t even think about having a relationship. Then when it was supposed to be and the time is right I met someone. Thank you for sharing your journey with us today.❤️
Hi Sandra, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. I was married at 23 to a fun loving man. He got sick at a very young age and decided not to open a pharmacy but work for one. He said to me, "we are going to play the rest our lives". He was 23 and the doctors told him he had about 5 years to live. He was diagnosed with Hotchkins Disease. We had our two beautiful girls and they played with us. Snow skiing, we had a boat and water skied, tennis, bowling. sky riding, you name it. We were married for 42 years! He has been gone for 12 years Loads of fun, but I never felt like my own person, I was into my husband who I loved very much. I am now well grounded and learned to fend for myself. I would love to meet some one who loves life and adventures, and has a great smile. I was against it for a long time , but all of a sudden I'm getting that feeling again. I am 78 have always worked out so I'm still in pretty good shape, as good as you can be at 78. Not looking for marriage as I'm happy by myself and my animals. But would like to meet a kind healthy man with a sense of humor.
How fortunate you are to have had such a long and wonderful marriage. I know that as long as you put yourself out there for a companion there is someone who would just love to be with you. As long as you stay active and are vibrant you will always be younger than your age. I hope it happens for you❤️
I'm 73, very youthful and independant, and am not looking for a man. But if he shows up and he's a Christian who is smart, funny, and caring, I won't tell him to go away. 😉
@@lifewithsandrahartNo such thing. There are many people we can potentially be attracted to in a world of billions. The concept of soul mates is another way hopeful people believe in fairy tales & Hallmark movie plots.
I used to work with a woman who always told stories about Charlie, her husband of more than 20 years. At lunch one day she told me that although she loved Charlie if he should die she wouldn’t remarry. She said it was because of the perpetual series of grinding compromises. In my 30s I taught hand quilting to mostly married women in their 50s - 60s. They all said the same thing, that they wouldn’t remarry. Now that I’m 67, I’m glad that I never married. Men require too much looking after. They want to take charge of the important decisions but they want me to take care if the much more frequent details: grocery shopping, cooking, tidying the house, scheduling medical appointments, reminding them to take their medicine, making travel arrangements, remembering birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. And on top of those things, I should always look good and be ready for sex. Phooey!
Bernadette, it’s wonderful when you find your soulmate and you can walk hand-in-hand together into the sunset. That is not always the case. Although I am happily married, I don’t think I would get married again. Once you’ve had a good relationship and at my age my family is extremely important to me.❤️
I think men treat you the way their father treated their mother. They treat you the way they were taught to treat a partner. I’m 64 & fully expect to marry within the next 5-8 yrs. I’m starting grad school in another city this fall & I expect to meet Mr. Right through school. I could also see myself committing to someone & we live in separate homes. That works, too. The time hasn’t been right but it’s coming up fast. 🙋♀️👍💋
@@rockforester7908 I love the idea of separate homes. My dream situation would be for my significant other to live nearby and we exchange keys with the understanding that we will only use them rarely such as when the other is out of town or if you suspect an accident or illness. I don’t want anyone just to barge in unannounced. And I would love someone to wash the dishes after I have prepared the meal.
Been married for 37 years and none of that has been true in our marriage...I love being married and we are truly best friends. Cannot imagine another person I would want to live with and share my life
my wife and i were drawing apart. we had different interests. then she had a stroke. she realized she needed me and i was so scared of losing her. we came together and our love for each other grew so strong. lost her now but will always love her. for me the most important trait is inner beauty.
i may be more like pluto than mars. i was always shy around women and in every relationship i was in, it was the women who made the first move. i think men's wants in a women change as they mature. mine did. pluto or donald duck.
Best advice I ever got: Go out with lots of men on separate dates, do NOT sleep with any - get to know them as friends. If one or two drop off, you won't be sad and will still have the others to keep you company. When the star hitter shows up, cut the rest of the team loose. Also, if you do meet someone, maintain SEPARATE properties/residences and just "date" him - go on holidays together, family events etc, stay over at each other's places - ensure you have a pre-nup or contracting out agreement in place. You're not his Mummy or his Nursie ..... he can afford his own medical care and hospital cover/insurance. Also, don't for a moment be naïve enough to believe that he's planning to be monogamous and exclusive with you (unless he's old, sick and needy - i.e. undatable). If you find him attractive, many others will too. You need to be okay with that. MOST men will lie to your face "Of course you're my one and only darrrrling, sweetheart" - yeah right. Ladies, I am a REALIST - Greetings from New Zealand.
Well, you really painted a picture for all of us. I don’t think I’d ever wanna go out with a man after this.😊 I think being a companion and being separate and having your own life and things it’s a great idea after a certain age. You can have the companionship without all the strings attached. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us❤️
I think keeping separate residences can be wise, but definitely outlines a lesser commitment and allows for multiple partners. Each relationship is different. Honesty and agreement is a must.
Superb realistic advice I think we are learning that men are an aspect of life, not our "everything" We over burden them with such a heavey burden I'm a young lady in her 30s who has had to learn to simply enjoy get ting to know different men of all ages. Their open to mentoring you. Their amazing cheerleaders and happy to guide and protect a lady. Should I marry I also know that my husband will be an aspect of my life. I've seen for sure that they do in a way live their own lives. And I know what to expect of him If I don't marry, I'm also excited about what that kind of life would be. For sure I will be a mom and look forward to creating amazing memories with my little person. But, I will continue to interact with men. I certainly will not tether myself to a man legally and financially. Simply connecting, enjoying, creating great memories.
Lady your limiting beliefs are popping here, what you’re advising is called rotational dating, Mina Irfan speaks of this all the time. Your disbelief in a man being exclusive with You is your own personal problem tho, not explanation of men. Men are loyal to honeys they willfully chase down & marry. They’re not your friends tho, that part of advice is backwards. They might be friend-zoned but they’re not your friends :))
Sandra, it's very true . Im in my late late 40s!!!! And i would rather have some man who was kind good natured and generous in spirit. Men are visual..... but not all people that look good, are good , it's great to have someone you can laugh with and just be your self....
Sharon, I think you said it in a nutshell. All people that look good or not really good human beings. We have to dig deeper I think. Thank you for sharing that❤️
Totally agree. As I have matured over the years, I find that I am more attracted to a real man. Not just the good looking ones. Made that mistake early on. I have found that the unusual or more plain looking men, some of them are really very attractive by being the decent and respectful kind of person that I deserve. And to me that beats looks any day of the week. 🙂👍🏻
Men our age (40s and 50s) tend to look for young women and not value maturity. I agree that not all older women took care of themselves and neglected their appearance. But some of us kept up and still look good for our age. Men are visual creatures with fragile egos (most men in any case) and will rather go for a pretty, young thing than a mature lady. Life is not fair!
Friendship is extremely important when everything in life changes and you were not friends and relationships can fall apart. Friendship is the basic core of everything❤️
I met my husband when I was 14 years old at a dance. He asked me to go steady (be his steady girl) on that same night I met him and I said yes. We stayed together and got married when I was 18 years old (he was 22) . That was 1962 . Yes, we are still married and very happy. But independence? No way. I guess we are stuck in being old fashioned. He always did the driving if we were both going somewhere together and he still does. He paid for all of our dates. He was always the gentleman but I was expected to always be the lady. He opens my car door and still does. I was also surprised that none of those you interviewed said they wanted a good cook. My husband would have put that first. I learned how to make all of his families ethnic dishes and to this day I honestly think he loves my cooking abilities very much. If I were gone and he had to choose another I am certain if she could not cook he'd be gone. Also no one mentioned looking for one of the same faith, or morals. Anyway it was a very interesting video. I do think a little independence is good but not too much. I believe our 58 years of marriage and still going is because we both gave up a lot of our independence. Just a thought.
Belva, If it is not broken don’t fix it! It sounds as though you both have a wonderful marriage and understanding of one another’s needs. What a wonderful story you and your husband have Thank you so much for sharing your long relationship of growing up together, understanding one another, and sharing each other‘s needs. Your’s is a beautiful story 💕
Sounds like you're very blessed. 💕You & your beloved are well matched. Think ppl need to be interdependent. Being either too independent or dependent can be harmful in a relationship. There needs to be balance where you can each function on your own a bit (say in a career or hobby); shared interests & goals (faith, music, fitness, etc.); be able to serve your partner in a way that is meaningful to both of you (i.e., understand & accept each other's love language); & also to be able to rely on that someone to meet some of your needs (to be discussed & decided between you). Each couple (or pair of friends) create a social contract. A lot of the time that is non-verbal, but it doesn't hurt to address those things. 💐 With you on the old-fashioned front. Manners & courtesy are critical to me. It is a gesture of honor for yourself & others. I like ppl that open & hold doors for others. Who stand up for a lady or anyone new walks into your midst. Anyone who willingly gives up their seat for another (esp. someone disabled, a mother, or any elderly person). Like ppl who are hospitality minded. Who has a "fish/loaves" faith that their basket will be refilled. I enjoy ppl that love to cook too bcos it is my favorite space in a home. Appreciate those who would never visit empty handed. And, someone who values the little things in life like a good story, fresh flowers or baked bread. 🦋
another 18-22 marriage here that's still going 47 years later. I have no desire to be independent, but am given as much space as I wish to take. He values me and I am so grateful for him. On the MBTI we are complete opposites - but that's what makes life interesting (and humbling also).
Nothing worse than "old man smell." He would have to have great hygiene! That's really at the top of my list, along with groundedness, compassion, integrity, honesty, etc. He would have to be able to sit at the table of honorable men! No alcoholics or drug abusers at this table!
Oh yes, 100 % agreed. No baggy shorts, sneakers, and baseball caps. Confidence, and good table manners. And Barry Gibb of Bee Gees is the sexiest man alive I think, perhaps ever existed, so if this dream man could sing that would be a big plus for me....haha! I know, I'm dreaming again girls! ...
Smelling bad, drugs or any kind of addict is something that would ruin the image of even the most attractive guy, so a BIG no no I wouldn't even take in concern.
Sandra, not only are you a beautiful lady with a beautiful spirit to match but I can’t believe that you actually take the time to reply to EVERY person that made a comment on your video! Wow!, I have the ultimate respect for you. Thank you for you! Much❤️ from PA.
I really enjoy every single one of the women in this community. I feel they deserve the respect of an answer if they have been kind enough to watch and comment on my videos. I am so happy you are here.❤️
I think it was Dr James Dobson that said: "We all know men can see better than they can think". LOL. For me a man must have my same spiritual beliefs. Plus: honesty, intelligent, kind, similar interests, fun, health oriented, educated, good provider, loves to travel, soulmate, good manners and grooming, and good with conversation. I checked all these areas out before I married my husband and we have been married 50 years which we both can hardly believe. Time goes by fast when you are having fun. Enjoyed your topic.
All of the qualities you checked off are so important and so very real for a lasting relationship. The more we have in common the better off we are in ensuring our marriage or relationship will last. Opposites attract sometimes but there Hass to be many common denominators involved in that thank you so much for sharing your love story with us and congratulations on those wonderful years, 50 years, that you and your husband have been together.❤️
I’m a 65 widow that had a wonderful marriage for many years with a Godly man. Top requirements (desires?) now. 1. Kind and joyful spirit 2. Sense of humor 3. Active and healthy 4. Clean and neat 5. Financially independent
Caroline those are five really wonderful qualities. I do hope that someone crosses your path with all of those attributes. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today❤️
Qualities I as a healthy and active woman in her 70's want in a partner: Intelligence, character, kindness, zest for life, healthy and fit (including sexual health), active lifestyle, good conversationalist, and being at peace with who he is.
@@lilpoohbear653 I have heard that from many women. That is not something I am looking forward too to be honest as I love a good sex life and it keeps you fit and healthy as well!
Fun topic! Summary Teen boys: Pretty face Trendy Smells good Good personality Likes what he likes Men in their 30s: Attractive Good listener Supportive of his goals and dreams Independent Compatibility - common interests and goals Men in their 50s: Good sense of style Excellent sense of humour - Uplifting personality Confidence in herself Decisive on what they want in life, not vacillating or bending to their will Men in their 70s: Passion for life Great sense of humour Good conversation Good listener Independent - can stand on her own two feet Men in their 80s: Soft, Natural beauty Self-confident, knows what she wants, doesnt worry about age Sense of humour Interested in life, joie-de-vivre, willing to do things wih him Grounded in good values, down to earth Women over 60 :) Character Kindness Intelligence Grounded Loves your children and grandchildren Older men who want in depth honest relationship, want to be with someone who understands his music and his era, more than just being with a younger woman. (Didn't catch them all, but that's it in a nutshell.) Please do men in their 20s, 40s, 60s and 90s! :)
“Supportive and interested in him plus independent” translates to “Be around when I need your attention, but when you need me you can take care of yourself.” Aha.
Hi Sandra. I love that you find such interesting topics to discuss. I agree with what the older men said. I'm 60 and have been married to my husband for 37 years. I would say when we were young and first met, that our relationship was based on more of a physical attraction and that over the years, our communication has gotten so much better. We talk about everything and we're best friends. Since my husband retired, we've been traveling the world and discovered that this is something we both love. Now, we're renovating an old apartment in Georgia (Europe) and are having the time of our lives. I guess you could say we've really grown together.
Cristina, Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful love story with us today. It sounds as though you really are married to your soulmate. That does not always happen so you’re really very lucky that you two are beyond lovers but you are also best friends. What fun it must be renovating an older apartment. I would love to be doing that, too. Please enjoy the rest of the week and thank you again❤️
I agree with this video. I have often heard men love woman that smell good, we are prehistoric beings and scent was a big part of the hunt still is. Men love when woman listen to them go on and on usually a story you have heard a million times but you respond as if you have heard it for the first time.They love to be heard and acknowledged. The also really love the word "thank you" for the simplest act they do. Watch their face light up the next time they do a simple act and you thank them for it.
Sue, very interesting. I really enjoy your sharing your thoughts with us today. I am sure those are qualities that men would enjoy and make them feel special.❤️
What a sweet & delightful lady you are….you remind me of my mother’s mother. I miss her everyday since she passed 37 years ago. She was a one in a million kind of lady. Never met anyone as good as her in my entire life. She was pure love & just such a beautiful & fun lady…such a lady.
I’m going to share this with my daughter, who’s 33, when or if she asks. She hasn’t made finding a companion much of a priority since college. Grad school, work, internship - she’s busy reaching her own goals. I admire (envy sometimes) the way she’s been able to move forward without worrying about what her husband wants! Still, I think it would be good for her to have a partner at some point because life has challenges and it’s great to have someone who’s on our side. The men in your survey seem to know that too. Keep up the good work Sandra! I like your clear thinking and I appreciate you!
I hope your daughter will find this interesting. You must be very proud of her because she sounds like she S moving forward and for filling her life to reach her own goals. Someday when it’s right she will find a partner in life in the meantime you’ve done a wonderful job giving her all the values that she needs to live a full life.❤️
I am 20 and I really like to take each piece of advice of somebody that has had so many opportunities to get experiences. I am glad you are sharing this and everything else with your community so everyone can have the opportunity to grow.
If I was looking for a man, he must share my spiritual beliefs, be mostly selfless, be kind, outgoing, thoughtful...willing to help out around the house...NOT be totally dependent on me for his needs...not be critical or stubborn... all the things my husband is and has been for me for over 41 years...basically infatuated with me…proud to be with me and to consider me a treasure...!!!
I've just turned 61 and learned a long time ago that I wanted a man who wanted me just a tad more than he needed me. I'm a strong female and have dated many men who needed me more than they wanted me. And I felt used and drained. I don't know that I'll ever even date again (I have health issues) but I'll still find happiness in every day. ❣️
Do you know, both of my daughters are in their 50s and I don’t think either one of them really ever want to get married again. They have men that are interested in them but they like their independence too much.. ❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart I've been a single Mom for most of my daughter's life, and while times were hard (daughter is physically challenged), I could make decisions on what was best for us without too much debate! 😁
We celebrated ou 61st wedding anniversary yesterday. You are right on the mark with your research. I cannot imagine having another partner but if I did it would a person who is kind, thoughtful and with a zest for living. Looks fade but these qualities are priceless.
Jeanette, wow that is so awesome 61 years. What a fantastic number. Enduring qualities of the ones that we should always look for in a mate. I’m glad you found yours.❤️
Thank you again. Me personally, I love being single because it's so much more easier and peaceful. I have been married twice and was engaged to be married a third time but thank God I dodged that bullet. Marriage these days is nothing like it was in the past. I find men to be a lot of WORK. Men these days are not really looking for wives, they are looking for MAMMIES...Not Mothers, but MAMMIES. They want someone to take care of them but hardly do much of anything to take care of their partners. Now most men expect women to agree with SHARING a man. That's craziness to me. Anyway, Sandra I'm totally LOVING you and your Channel.
I totally agree with all of your points on what men want in a lady. My husband and I both have great sense of humors and laugh so much every day. Laughter is the best medicine!
@@lifewithsandrahart yes. You do have to be able to laugh at yourself. Don't take life too seriously. There will be times it'll be serious on it's own. Without our help.
Dearest Sandra, I heard we could see Mars tonight! So I ran out after dusk on my balcony. I called out to Mars. (He did not answer) I could not see it yet... I came back inside and found you on here talking about Mars. Serendipitous ! I had to tell you. Now I will watch the Video. Thank God for making you!
Greetings from Los Angeles! Thank you for your advice ❤ I’m 36 y.o. and love watching your videos. I wish there were more women like you. 3 years ago my divorce finalized. I put myself out there and a loving and caring man found me. The best part is I’m still growing and striving to be a better version of myself.✨
I believe the greatest attribute men of all ages desire is respect. For me, the top things I desire in a man are kindness, intelligence, integrity, loving nature for people, and physical fitness. I agree with what you said,, and women do think differently because of our maternal instinct.
Very enlightening, Sandra. I realise that there is a lot of compromise in a relationship, but it sure seems like the thing that never changes for men is that they are only interested in what they can get out of it! Women can’t help being the ones trying to please their partner - or else we would not be trying to figure out what they want and how we can give it to them!
They sure don’t spend their time figuring out what we want and how to keep the marriage together. It is us doing most of the work to keep everything blissful and in tact. They expect ALOT and give little back. In my opinion.
Goodness I have been married for 33 years. We basically got married at 19 years old. We have grown so much. We have changed so much too. As we get older our relationship means so much to both of us. We are still growing together even after all of these years.
I think ultimately in a relationship, both sides want the same thing. We all crave support, good hygiene (I hear this a lot from the young crowd lol), respect of common interests/values, compatibility, attraction and humor.
Sandra - you are spot on with your observations. I am in my early 70s and have been widowed for four years. My husband and I were truly soulmates and married for 48 years. I thought I would never have (or want) another partner. However, life alone after so much togetherness is very lonely. For several months I have been dating and find men my age are looking for exactly what you describe. The only other consideration I have come across that you didn’t mention is financial independence. I can’t speak for other women but it is something to consider. Wealth or lack of it is certainly not a good reason to be attracted to ... or to be attractive to someone. However, it does play a role in relationships, especially if they become long term, serious or result in co-habitating or marriage. So keeping that in mind, it is likely something both women and men are considering when looking to develop a relationship. As always, you have wonderful advice and are a blessing to us all.
Elaine, you are so correct. Financial independence is extremely important and when I spoke of independence that independence also included financial independence older men and older women want to be able to be independent financially so that they can be comfortable in the relationship without having to lean on the other one❤️
Men think differently, Sandra, but the common denominator is that people are attracted to people who are interested in *them* as a person. A good listener & one with a good sense of humor is priceless. If you're kind to animals, that tells me a great deal about heart & I know you're my kind of people! Interesting topic! Blessings! Jackie in upstate NY
Good morning Jackie. It is so great to hear from you again. I agree with you wholeheartedly. People are interested in people who are interested in them. Also, people who love animals are usually very kind and some of the best people I have ever met.❤️
I'm 52 and single for last decade. No kids. Yet to find a man who enjoys company with an independent minded yet traditional girl. But I'm not complaining. I'm starting off an education venture of mine at 52 and I want to be working and well maintained till 80.
Self-confidence is always a good attribute for everyone because who wants to feel the pressure that another adult depends personally on you ? You both need to be able to be a complete person without having to possess a "second half".
For me (and I’m 70 and almost 71), the very first thing I would search for (am married and not searching) would be a man who loves the Lord Jesus Christ and is rooted and grounded in Him. Because, if you find a man like that, he would know Christ’s love and from that would be able to love me, as Christ loved the church. Everything else is superficial but having a heart for God......well, that is so very beautiful. Substance.❤️❤️❤️
That's so true. I keep praying that if God has another man for me. To please send him my way. I'm lonely, for a good kind loving man. That believes in God. All the way.
I find that I'm attracted to men younger than me and they are attracted to me. I am in my later 70's and men in their mid sixties are the ones who are attracted to me. My friends don't believe I'm as old as I am, because "I don't act my age!" I still feel young and act young. I don't think I would want to marry again, but I would love to have a good male friend to go places and do things with.
It really shows how self-centred men are (especially earlier in life, as you got up to 80 this was less) and how the most "attractive traits in a woman" are still solely about HIM. Like you said, no concern for his children, family, etc. It was how she could support him, how attractive she was for him, etc. It's wild to see that comparison really, because as a woman, it's about consistency, loyalty, etc., traits that would help us both in the relationship.
New here! Just found you and thoroughly enjoyed listening to you. I’m turning 60 next year and my husband works so much he comes home and doesn’t really talk to me. This was enlightening! I often hear that men only think about sex, even older ones, which we aren’t having, haven’t in a long time. Watching and listening to you made my day! Thank you! 😊
Rebekah, welcome. I am so glad that you found me, too. I am so happy you like this video. It was an interesting survey for me as well. I learned so much by interviewing these men of different ages. Thank you again and I hope we will see you here often.❤️
INTELLIGENCE is my number one necessary attribute I have come to realise. Intelligence and an ability to keep learning and expanding their depth of understanding and interests.
I appreciate all the research you did, Sandra, to find out what men are looking for. It is so much more complex to be in a relationship as we get older. It's almost more important to know what you don't want, than do. Experience helps with that.
Sandra I love love this subject! My 5 things are this, a man who can tell me life stories.....not blow his own trumpet, real life stories (intelligent), good hygiene, sense of humor (I love love laughing), and caring towards humanity and the world. Sandra I could probably make it to 10. I dance alone for this very reason. Thank you Sandra for being here! Much love!
I just saw your post about Arthur as I listened to you on my tv..saw post on iPad. I’m so sorry for your loss and I thank you so much! I am turning 60 in August and your videos give me hope for happiness❤️
I agree with everything you said. I found in my conversations with men that they want very much the same thing. I am now 65. I have been single for 19 years. I’ve been in several relationships but find that in each one the man did not want to commit. I carry the same values as you. I would like to know where those amazing men are that would appreciate a good woman with no baggage, no debt and someone who just wants to share life‘s pleasures. Can you talk about where one might find a spiritually healthy man without going to an online dating site✌️
@@lifewithsandrahart I’m in my 50s. I agree totally we think differently. I am dating a man in his 60s who I know cares deeply for me. I think our expectations of what constitutes a great partnership are slightly different in as much he wants to take care of me, but I am independent and I would not want to be beholden to him. So we meet half way in the middle, aren’t relationships about compromise too? It’s just what we are able to compromise on? Anyway thank you for your insight, love seeing your content, nice to see more mature ladies on this medium! 👍🏼😘
Yess Susan WHERE are those amazing compassionate, caring, loving, supportive , emotionally open , healthy men who makes me laugh and love to enjoy life with me? And very important for me now in this time. I want a man who is awake and aware (Not vaccinated) They must be out there 🥳
Very nice to come across your channel I’m a 60 yr old woman with the inner feeling, stamina and zest for life of a 40 year old. It’s been super challenging in the dating scene. Ide love to share life with a very special kind man ... hearing the generational mindsets was very helpful!
Keep on being young at heart. That will always keep you young and beautiful in the eyes of others. Let’s hope we can socialize more and everyone who is looking for a partner will be able to continue dating. I hope I will see her often and I’m so happy you found me❤️
Glad to hear about this five tips . I am 68 yrs a widow, independent and would love to find a nice gentleman but like you I don’t know much about men and really don’t have an idea as to what men want . I am mature independent and have been on my own for awhile .
Ellie, independent women who have been alone for a long time I think me find it very difficult to permanently share their lives with a partner. It can happen if you find your soulmate, but being independent makes a strong and self-sufficient. You and your thoughts are not alone❤️
After a few boyfriends that were not right for me, I realized I should choose a partner in part by affinities, as I do with friends. It seems obvious now, but it really wasn't before. Laughing is a very important thing to me. There was a woman at work that was 40 years older than me and because she was always laughing I thought: I want her to be my friend. It was great. We were always laughing and she taught me a lot of things before she passed away. I also realized with time that no matter how you look, there is someone who thinks you are beautiful. You just have to date a lot to find them. Sometimes, things you don't like in your body are the same things that attract men.
Sandra, Thank you so much! I found this video deeply helpful! ❤ I’ve translated it to my mum and we discussed it together. I’m 19 and she’s 51, both single but of course we want another scenario:) Million thanks to you! Great conversation, great analysis 🙏🏼❤️
I'm almost 59 and remarried 2 years ago to a loving kind man of 60. I think it's a good reminder of what men like and appreciate. When we were dating I flinched rather than laughed at his attempt to tease because of my past emotionally abusive marriage. He said, How am I going to be able to tease you if I think you might react that way? I gradually relaxed and he teases me all the time and I love it. It WAS important to him. He also witnessed my response and watched how I handled a situation with a rental property from out of state and was very impressed. So he valued that too. You are a delight and with all this isolation it's nice to find you.
Ciara, I know so many will be interested in your story and your relationship attraction. It is never too late to find someone who is a wonderful soulmate. That’s why we both have to listen to one another in our relationship. I am so happy to have you here with us in this community and I hope you continue sharing your thoughts with all of us.❤️
I am 70 years old and my husband of 49 years of marriage passed away. I am not looking for a companion, however, if I was, I would be looking for a man who can hold a conversation, who is kind, respectful, smells nice and has the same interests such as going for walks, to live shows, theatre, opera, etc. and can later discuss them. With all these positive aspects, the physical side would be easy to forget. So I fully agree with your comments and findings. Very interesting to hear what you had to say.
Anastasia, I’m so sorry to hear that your husband passed away. That truly is a loss I know that is very difficult. I have been through that myself. I really enjoyed hearing the qualities that you would like if you were looking for a companion right now. They’re all excellent qualities that would be so desirable. I agree with you on each and everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today and I’m so happy you shared your thoughts ❤️
Interesting..I agree with you. I am 65 -widowed for 13 years . It was foremost to me about the blending of families. How someone would treat my children and grandchildren.
Hi Sandra, another great topic and oh so true. When I married my first husband I was very young and it was about the butterflies, which quickly flew away and then there wasn’t much there to sustain a long healthy marriage. When I married Dave, love came softly, but grew deeply. If I were looking I would have to have a man of deep faith, a leader in the family, have great character and love me like my parents loved me. He would have to be a man of honor, a servant to others and show gratitude each day. Thankfully I have that in Dave and don’t feel anyone could ever measure up to him. I would not settle for less. This video made me see how far I have come and I am grateful to you. Love, Sheila
Shelia, thank you so much for sharing the growth that you have experienced in relationships throughout the years. All the qualities and Dave are the ones we all want. Sometimes it takes us a while to mature ourselves.❤️
I totally agree with you. I am divorced after 29 years of marriage and I love the qualities you mention in mature men. The sense of humor and sharing life experiences as well as been grounded are really important for me. Thanks a lot for your beautiful sharing. Take good care Sandra.
Thank you Sandra. I'm a 35 year old female but it's interesting to see what 'matters' later on in life... I suspect it's much the same for women too. 🙂
I wish someone had told me when I was your what I know now and what I should expect in life how wonderful that you have so much living and great adventures ahead of you.❤️
What I am looking for in a man - I use the word “IMPRESS” ( Intellectual, Money Mgt., Physical, Recreational, Emotional, Social and Spiritual aspects of his being)
Oh! Looking forward to your fashion show! Your talk reminded me of something I saw on TV many years ago, and I might not remember it all clearly - George Burns was in his late 90's and was on the Johnny Carson show. Johnny was ribbing him about dating a much younger woman. "Hey, George... why don't you date women your own age?!" After a thoughtful puff on his cigar, he said, "There ARE no women my age!" Peals of laughter! Anyhow....I'm currently in my early 60's, divorced. What I look for in a man is his character - having integrity and dignity; empathetic; intelligent; has the same spiritual beliefs as I, and has a certain "joie de vivre" - a spark; he may be older, but doesn't think of himself as "old" and "out of it". A kind personality and consideration for others trumps good looks. I met a man in my 20's who was "drop dead gorgeous" - great fit body, handsome, etc. -- but he was so dumb he couldn't carry a conversation to the other side of the room. I had no interest in him!
I love that comment by George Burns he was so fantastic. Thank you for sharing that with us and reminding us of his great wit. All of the things you look for in a man, I think are the right qualities that most of us would be looking for. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts K care and have a wonderful day❤️
Im on my early 50, healthy and still energetic and and honestly among other qualities, sex is still very important to me. I can't imagine of a good relationship without that good quality stuff in bed.. Hope I'm not a bad girl hahaha
@@marieconnect6389 That doesn't make you a bad girl because truth is, men will always crave for sex even in their senior years. That is embedded in their DNA whereas women can thrive with voluntary celibacy, men cannot. To have a successful, meaningful relationship in our senior years, the couple should find means and ways to make sex enjoyable. There's kama sutra for seniors as a guide. ; )
@@lifewithsandrahart Will you kindly discuss sex among seniors if you can find an expert on this topic? I met several seniors between 50 to 76 who were straightforward in saying they cannot stay with women who are not interested at all/ have lost interest in sex. I have not lost interest in sexual intimacy BUT I make it clear with them that I would like it to be done in a committed relationship where we have already bonded intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, etc instead of sexual bonding within the first few dates just to check sexual compatibility. High value men shouldn't find it unreasonable for a woman to require knowing them at a deeper level before sexual intimacy. If a man is only interested in sex, the woman can walk away if they're not on the same page.
Very interesting! Good to know. As for me, in my late 50s, I would look for kindness, zest for life, common interests, and someone who is supportive and who can do all his chores by himself.
Eerindira, being able to do chores by himself. Know that is really an interesting one. I think that’s the biggest complaint I have is that I’m constantly cleaning up and focusing on my husband. He has never been handy around the house with anything.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart That is a hard trait to find. I bet if you find someone who can do all his chores by himself, he’ll end up being one of those mean, grouchy fellows! Ah well, in the end it boils down to someone who loves you and cares for you deeply.
Good advice! (and may I just add, smile.... even if you are the only one in the room... smile, it's good for the facial muscles and it is good for the soul)
I’m an attractive women in my 50’s and have to agree with a most of the comments. My experience is that men don’t want to admit they are getting older so they try to find young women. It is a candy store on the Internet these days with plenty to choose from and they become experts. My ex was proposing marriage to every woman he started a conversation with and this was about 10 women at a time! They all fell for it. When I meet men my age they seem horrified or panicked when they realize I’m over 5O - it’s such a double standard because I give them a chance. Tired of these men who are in denial about their own age and looks. They really can date endlessly on the internet. I’m hoping to meet someone through sheer grace and circumstance !
Anna, I have heard the same narration from a lot of women your age. I think if women just quit looking and work on fulfillment in their own lives, somehow love will find them. We have to be happy with who we are and if the right one comes along then that is icing on the cake! ❤️
As usual Sandra some fascinating insights.. What to look for in a man? Kindness, generosity, kindness, integrity, kindness, humour - oh, and did I mentions kindness? !!
TOTALLY!! It’s not every day you will meet someone that you have a real connection with. I also like younger men than myself because I’m very active. I’m going to be 71
You know I really and sincerely appreciate that. Thank you so much for understanding the work that goes into the subject within some of my videos. I hope you have a wonderful day today.❤️
I am a 67 year old woman, & I would love a companion who would be able to talk about ideas, instead of just things, be passionate about something; whether it be a hobbie, Grandkids, animals
Hard to find. Men and women after 67, they have been there done that, they tired and don’t want to do anything anymore...sorry but that’s just the hard truth..👍🏻😆
@@lilyherbal2262 that’s true however an intelligent, educated man is very interring because he sees this age as the age when he can give back & leave a legacy to the world. True they’re not as get up & go, but there’s a lot to be said for a smart, wise, kind man who’s takes a philosophical view.
@@mgkos It doesn’t matter how educated or intelligent he is after 67....the mind slowing deteriorate. He mostly interested nurse if not purse....😂😂😂. Those men you stated are in the 1 to 2%...😂😂😂
If a gentleman comes by and helps to add quality, colour, caring and makes you happier than what you already are... then he's a keeper. Cherish him and enjoy a richer, more colorful last chapter together. Who does not deserve that. Good luck ladies and gentlemen.
Very interesting, Sandra!! I remember as a teenager I wanted the best looking boyfriend around!! I agree with your list of characteristics in a potential mate. Integrity, ability to accept my family, shared faith, and a good sense of humor are at the top of my list. Many blessings, and love, my beautiful friend..MaryEllen
Your list is what most of us look for in a mate. Looks fade but those strong values are there for ever that help keep us together. I was a wallflower in high school and didn’t blossom until college. Thank you for being here my very beautiful and kind friend. Love you and my best to Jim.❤️
As a mature woman myself & to answer to your question, I feel that good character, kindness, sense of humor, compatibility & similar interests are the first and foremost qualities I would look for in a man. Thank you...it's my first time watching your channel! 💟💜💟
Hello and welcome Linda. So nice to have you here and hope you will come back again and subscribe. I love the choices that you made in characters that you look for in a man. They are very good. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.❤️
I couldn't agree more with you Sandra. Even in their 60s a man still wants a woman who's attractive, good figure, humerous, listens to them, is smart, a caring soul, interested in them, their likes and their interests. For me; it's all about character. Are they honest, grounded, sensitive, caring, loving, established, intelligent? Of course a good or excellent chemistry is a must. A great video and thankyou. Many women feel invisible after a certain age. You notice when men don't look at you and certainly when they do. Being an honest, kind, caring soul is top on my list for men AND women xxx Blessings and much love to you dearest Sandra xxxx
Very nice - I agree that I want someone my own age, who shares similar values, we watched the same tv shows growing up, listened to the same music, know the styles. It gives a feel of knowing each other longer.
Hello Connie. So nice to meet you. Welcome and I’m so glad that you decided to join our wonderful community of women here who are compassionate, smart, and wanting to live the best life ever we can in this chapter of our lives. Thank you again I am so happy to have you here.❤️
Justine, thank you so very much for your support. I always forget to ask people to give me a thumbs up if they like the video. I guess there are some who just are having a bad day and they want everyone else to join them!😊❤️
Hi Sandra...This was a very interesting subject and one that not to many people addressed....I for one love a man that takes pride on his health and like to exercise but what attracts me the most is someone that can have amazing conversation and can be sensitive when he needs to be....love a man who can enjoy the simple things in life and can turn them into an adventure....I love to see life through his eyes and he can see life through mine...maybe wishful thinking but hey a girl can dream.....lol......ILY....MINDY
Mindy, those are all excellent qualities that Everywoman should be looking for in a man. It’s not unrealistic to want these in a companion. There are men out there with those it’s just being able to find them.❤️
I love what you have said Mindy! Dreams can come true, I met my Husband when I was young. We have multiple opposites. Different culture, different Family background, different ways of thinking I mean TOTAL opposites !!! Over the years some have been really painful to navigate but all said & done, your last sentence "I love to see life through his eyes & he can see life through mine" has been HUGE in keeping on pushing through our difficulties!!! My life has appeared to other's ( even our three children ) as amazing, but we have struggled many many times to try to bridge the differences between us & your sentence says it all really! I pray that your dream comes true & that special someone will appreciate & love you as much as you would Mindy
@@gauntlettolife833 what a beautiful message...I think there are differences we can deal with and some not,,,I married a man from Uruguay and even thou he was a good man our culture and education interfere with our life. He was always helping his family in his country and that was lots of money. I did'nt think it was right because they wanted money all the time and we work hard for it..He left after we were married for 7 years and I can tell you I was heart broken but within time I pull through and I have been single for over 23 years...date and all but not married or living with any one....I hope I can meet the right person(friend) and partner but meaning while I am happy with whom I become....I pray you can be happy being who you are.....blessings beloved......THANKS FOR THE GOOD THOUGHTS......MINDY
I found it interesting about the "independence" factor. My first husband wanted me completely dependent. My precious second husband just died at 93 and after 33 years all he cared about was that I was by his side. Anything I did, wanted or whatever, was just fine with him. I ask the Lord every day to tell him how much I love him and I'll love him for all eternity.
How beautiful it is to have had such a wonderful relationship with your husband. It really is important to feel loved and to be able to give that in return. I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your husband, but it sounds though he’s left you with so many wonderful memories. Thank you so much for sharing.❤️
@@lioydwilliams1850 I see you are flattering others on this ....not sure this is real or not. Perhaps you are looking for something or someone.
It is really a big surprise that independece is so important to guys. I think they are just got feminine! They have become less men, too lazy, cowards .... Where are the real man, the brave heroes who are able and eager to protect their wifes and family?! Who is masculine while searching for a feminine woman to share life with her, who would be a great houswife and mother to his children while he can provide for his family. The men nowadays have just not been brought up to be like that anymore. This is the problem. As soon as I hear they like independent women that mostly says they just are afraid of being in charge of a family and responsible!!! The values have changed so much, actually everything has real value is no nothinh and vice versa. With no hope to get better.
@@svetlanavukolic8242 AMEN!!!
@Apples NicolleI thank the Lord every day. Thank you so much for your comment.
I married for the first time at age 55 two years ago...I was willing to spend my life being single vs being unhappy with the wrong guy just to be married. Making me laugh was high on my list along with being kind...He is both...everyday with my husband is fun, full of laughs, and especially love...I’m so blessed 💖
Sandra, you look especially beautiful today!!
Sherri, I am so very happy for you. I have a feeling that because you were happy with yourself and had good self-esteem that you attracted someone with those same values. Much happiness to you both. Thank you so much for sharing❤️
oh damn thats my priority too someone who can make me laugh..i think asking for too much but not anymore
Are you the woman on the picture? WOW damn!
@@thevcountdown9824 Yes.
@@lifewithsandrahart I meant Sherry Bennett :) But you also look flawless!
I think of the very true line from the 80’s movie, Sex, Lies & Videotape. “Men learn to love the person they’re attracted to, and women become more and more attracted to the person they love.”
Very good. Thank you so much for sharing that with us today. A good quote indeed.❤️
'Women use sex to get intimacy. Men use intimacy to get sex.'
Oh my God! You mentioned lmy very favorite movie 'sex lies and videotape. 'Nobody ever knows what I'm talking about..thx
That was a wild, wonderful movie. I need to watch that again asap.
I dissagree. I never learned to love romantically someone I loved as a friend only, despite my best efforts. He was a good guy but I was not attracted to him. Men aren't s3x machines either. They fall in love, cry and have heartbreaks. Sure, if you are into hookups or date someone who had many partners you may be inclined to see men differently, but thats only because you expose yourself to low quality men.
You told young boys didn't find you attractive when you were younger, looking at you it's hard to believe that. You are still a beautiful woman.
I 100% agree!
I agree with you on what we women (or at least myself) look for in a man. When I was looking for a man after divorcing my first husband, I was 52. All I wanted was someone who was kind. Well, he turned out to be the kindest man ever. He said he was attracted to my looks when he first met me; however, we soon discovered we had a love for adventure travel. For the past 10 years we've gone everywhere from the Congo to Antarctica. My feeling is that as a woman, I take care of my physical appearance, but I also have a passion for traveling and animals. My main advice for women is to find someone who is kind and will put you first and adore you.
Your last point of advice was absolutely on the right track. Those qualities are so important. I am so happy for you that you have found someone who is your soulmate and you enjoy sharing adventures together.❤️
I wish I can find one who we are be compatible, God's will 🙏
I like your advice, it's help a lot Thank you, God bless you always and more power to your channel.
And you equally adore them.
@@lydialumanlan7776 sometimes we find the kind one and they adore us (atleast they show that they do), but somehow we dont feel attracted towards them. Not sure why does this happen
I am 52, but feel like i am too old for anything. May be its the menopause which is wreaking havoc in my system. I have lost the desire for a man's touch.
I'm turning 60 early next year and think and feel I know exactly what I want in life now. I have learned to love myself and take good care of me.. Since I got divorced I worked on myself and established my boundaries. This is the time of my life I feel complete and found happiness from within. More men pay attention to me now, they say my positive energy is very attractive. I enjoy all the attention, if any man meets my standards that will amplify my happiness that'll be great! I'd rather stay single and content than be with the wrong company.
I think you were absolutely right in all points in your comment. It’s better to be happy and alone than to be miserable in a relationship that’s not right. Everything good is worth waiting for. If it comes along, fine. If not, you are happy within yourself. That is the best way of life.❤️
Hi Sandra I just found your channel. I must say it's very interesting.
I am turning 62 .
I just want peace,joy and happiness in my life right now. If that means being alone. I am fine.
Love & Respect to you from Barbados
Your comments remind me of something the radio psychologist Susan Forward said, which I think everyone should remember. "There is one thing worse than being alone: Wishing you were."
Just turned 60, divorced and looking.... Positively!!!
Beware men seeking a nurse or a purse
Jill! Sooo true! Thanks for pointing that out! ❤️
Love this quote
Yep, my ex.
Yes...true that. Happy being alone, do what I please, spent 💵 what I want...have no one to answer to. Don’t need anyone to control me, and cause me any stress👍🏻😆.
Now that I’m 60, I don’t know if I want another man. They might get “ailments’ and I would have to take care of them! My eyes get to twitching thinking about it! lol NOOOO!! lol
Does it matter what men want? Enjoy your life, have some close friends, make a lovely life for yourself, and help others, If a great man for you comes along then great, if he doesn't then great. You shouldn't find validation in someone else it comes with you. Strive to be happy whether with a man or not.
Charlotte excellent comment. I’ve always said to build your own life and be happy with who you are. If you want a companion and he comes along that’s icing on the cake. ❤️
Spot on Charlotte!
If women don't care, why should men care?!! Next!!!
Great advise!
@H Exactly. Successful men have many choices and the women are typically up to 20 years younger without baggage so we're not even considering women of the same age!
I really agree with you about women being attracted to kindness, and I would also say, someone safe... A lot of guys are angry these days...
Sami, anger is a big issue today with both men and women.. Even the youngsters today are angry. That certainly is something to be cautioned about❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart Beneath anger Is usually unresolved trauma or sadness. The issue is how willing the person is to deal with it and move on. You don't want to be stuck with their anger, and being used as a punching bag. Nor do you want to be only there for the good times, and condemning someone for having 'baggage'. If you're remotely interesting as a person, you will have baggage. The issue is how much work you're willing to do on it. IMO.
I’m a 62year old man and the first thing I look at is a woman’s appearance, she doesn’t have to be beautiful but she has to do the best she can with what was dealt her, (men should do the same) she has to be confident in herself and look at each day as a blessing regardless of the circumstances, and BTW Sandra.. your a doll
Thank you so very much for sharing your thoughts with us today Chadwick. It’s so nice to have a male perspective on his idea of what men find most attractive in women. Thank you for stopping by today. ❤️
I agree with you...character is mightily important...how a man treats others.
I am 62, happily divorced and enjoying my life more than ever.
I enjoyed your video and am so happy to have found this group!
First thing I noticed about a man, is His appearance, is He clean? His hair neat, or appealing. His clothes. Eyes and build. Personality and sense of humor. Is He FUN?
P.s. I really REALLY dislike men with long scraggly beards.. I mean, they need to be styled just like the hair. That's The biggest turn off for me. Instantly. Unkempt. They look like my Father Time. Ugh. Or bums. Sorry, I truly can't stand them. And..... When a moustache is all long, He has no lips. Ugh.. .nasty. If you can't take care if it........ DON'T WEAR IT.
Agree Chadwick
@@curlyq690 hey I dumped my bf. Many years younger. Cause if the ugly white beard and mustache soooo long. No lips. Seriously. I used to sit and watch him eat. Cause you just see the mustache moving. It's like a cartoon. I called him Father Time. Yesterday, he thought he'd stop by and say hi. Man, He could bed 10 months pregnant with that belly. Now his hair is almost all grey... And lost a lot too. I looked at him. Went hmmmm. You know your hair could be white by Christmas. Then you could play Santa Claus. My son and girlfriend died laughing. It's freaking true. Yet they'll be the first one to talk about women. Then, He's got a big head. He's not what I would call good looking at all. I could fix him up too appear a lot better looking. But he wouldn't do it. Too much trouble. Yet another reason why I broke up with him. Where are all the good decent men . I have a gay guy that's my friend. Omg, He totally understand me. He treats me like a lady, buys me bunches of gifts. Takes me out to eat. Money not a problem. And he cooks. Damn. I help him with makeup. I got him looking for hairstyles for me. He's the best friends ever. Seriously. And Valentine's is coming soon. He took me out last year. I was bummed out. He talked me into going. I hit two cards, Smoked Salmon encrusted with pecans and got dessert too. I felt like a Queen. I got gifts candy 🌹. I had a bag full of stuff. Nothing cheap. It's all good stuff. Great friendship.
I agree😊 I'm 49 and met my partner a year ago. He wasn't my type, i wasn't physically attracted to him but he made me laugh and and we just got along it was so easy to be with him. Thank goodness I gave him a chance as he is perfect for me, what I need and such a gentleman and now I adore him😘
How smart are you! Sometimes men have to grow on us. It is so true. I’m am delighted that you are so happy.❤️
There's no doubt that Jesus Christ is the way to eternal happiness.
How old is he.
Women seem to value a sense of humor over a lot of other things. I appreciate a woman who is openly affectionate and a good French kisser.
💯👏👏👏
I really enjoyed this topic... thank you! I’m 64 my first husband died when I was in my 30’s with a 6 and 4 year old. I dated a bit and had a serious relationship that didn’t work out. After that I decided to stop looking until the children were raised. I really stopped looking and was just enjoying my life. When I was 50 a guy from my work asked me out. I knew he was a Christian and I knew he had been a faithful and caring husband. So I went out for coffee and we had so much fun!! I hadn’t laughed so hard in years. We had so much in common. I really appreciated the fact that he pursued me. I realized I had never been pursued before! I highly recommend it
Lynny, what a wonderful and uplifting story. I did the same thing when I was raising my children I couldn’t even think about having a relationship. Then when it was supposed to be and the time is right I met someone. Thank you for sharing your journey with us today.❤️
Hi Sandra, you are a beautiful woman inside and out. I was married at 23 to a fun loving man.
He got sick at a very young age and decided not to open a pharmacy but work for one. He said to me, "we are going to play the rest our lives". He was 23 and the doctors told him he had about 5 years to live. He was diagnosed with Hotchkins Disease. We had our two beautiful girls and they played with us. Snow skiing, we had a boat and water skied, tennis,
bowling. sky riding, you name it. We were married for 42 years! He has been gone for 12 years
Loads of fun, but I never felt like my own person, I was into my husband who I loved very much. I am now well grounded and learned to fend for myself. I would love to meet some one who loves life and adventures, and has a great smile. I was against it for a long time , but all of a sudden I'm getting that feeling again. I am 78 have always worked out so I'm still in pretty good shape, as good as you can be at 78. Not looking for marriage as I'm happy by myself and my animals. But would like to meet a kind healthy man with a sense of humor.
How fortunate you are to have had such a long and wonderful marriage. I know that as long as you put yourself out there for a companion there is someone who would just love to be with you. As long as you stay active and are vibrant you will always be younger than your age. I hope it happens for you❤️
YOU GO GIRL!
Set those intentions and feel it in the now and the law of attraction will work for you 💞
I'm 73, very youthful and independant, and am not looking for a man. But if he shows up and he's a Christian who is smart, funny, and caring, I won't tell him to go away. 😉
Cece, i’ve always found it amazing when a woman stops looking, usually that is when her soulmate finds her.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart thank you, Sandra!"you are terrific! 💐
@@cecedubois5147 you must be a precious being
@@lifewithsandrahartNo such thing. There are many people we can potentially be attracted to in a world of billions. The concept of soul mates is another way hopeful people believe in fairy tales & Hallmark movie plots.
I used to work with a woman who always told stories about Charlie, her husband of more than 20 years. At lunch one day she told me that although she loved Charlie if he should die she wouldn’t remarry. She said it was because of the perpetual series of grinding compromises.
In my 30s I taught hand quilting to mostly married women in their 50s - 60s. They all said the same thing, that they wouldn’t remarry.
Now that I’m 67, I’m glad that I never married. Men require too much looking after. They want to take charge of the important decisions but they want me to take care if the much more frequent details: grocery shopping, cooking, tidying the house, scheduling medical appointments, reminding them to take their medicine, making travel arrangements, remembering birthdays, weddings, graduations, etc. And on top of those things, I should always look good and be ready for sex. Phooey!
Bernadette, it’s wonderful when you find your soulmate and you can walk hand-in-hand together into the sunset. That is not always the case. Although I am happily married, I don’t think I would get married again. Once you’ve had a good relationship and at my age my family is extremely important to me.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart love her
I think men treat you the way their father treated their mother. They treat you the way they were taught to treat a partner. I’m 64 & fully expect to marry within the next 5-8 yrs. I’m starting grad school in another city this fall & I expect to meet Mr. Right through school. I could also see myself committing to someone & we live in separate homes. That works, too. The time hasn’t been right but it’s coming up fast. 🙋♀️👍💋
@@rockforester7908 I love the idea of separate homes. My dream situation would be for my significant other to live nearby and we exchange keys with the understanding that we will only use them rarely such as when the other is out of town or if you suspect an accident or illness. I don’t want anyone just to barge in unannounced. And I would love someone to wash the dishes after I have prepared the meal.
Been married for 37 years and none of that has been true in our marriage...I love being married and we are truly best friends. Cannot imagine another person I would want to live with and share my life
my wife and i were drawing apart. we had different interests. then she had a stroke.
she realized she needed me and i was so scared of losing her. we came together and our love for each other grew so strong. lost her now but will always love her.
for me the most important trait is inner beauty.
i may be more like pluto than mars. i was always shy around women and in every relationship i was in, it was the women who made the first move. i think men's wants in a women change as they mature. mine did. pluto or donald duck.
Best advice I ever got: Go out with lots of men on separate dates, do NOT sleep with any - get to know them as friends. If one or two drop off, you won't be sad and will still have the others to keep you company. When the star hitter shows up, cut the rest of the team loose. Also, if you do meet someone, maintain SEPARATE properties/residences and just "date" him - go on holidays together, family events etc, stay over at each other's places - ensure you have a pre-nup or contracting out agreement in place. You're not his Mummy or his Nursie ..... he can afford his own medical care and hospital cover/insurance. Also, don't for a moment be naïve enough to believe that he's planning to be monogamous and exclusive with you (unless he's old, sick and needy - i.e. undatable). If you find him attractive, many others will too. You need to be okay with that. MOST men will lie to your face "Of course you're my one and only darrrrling, sweetheart" - yeah right. Ladies, I am a REALIST - Greetings from New Zealand.
Well, you really painted a picture for all of us. I don’t think I’d ever wanna go out with a man after this.😊 I think being a companion and being separate and having your own life and things it’s a great idea after a certain age. You can have the companionship without all the strings attached. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us❤️
I think keeping separate residences can be wise, but definitely outlines a lesser commitment and allows for multiple partners. Each relationship is different. Honesty and agreement is a must.
Superb realistic advice
I think we are learning that men are an aspect of life, not our "everything" We over burden them with such a heavey burden
I'm a young lady in her 30s who has had to learn to simply enjoy get ting to know different men of all ages. Their open to mentoring you. Their amazing cheerleaders and happy to guide and protect a lady.
Should I marry I also know that my husband will be an aspect of my life. I've seen for sure that they do in a way live their own lives. And I know what to expect of him
If I don't marry, I'm also excited about what that kind of life would be. For sure I will be a mom and look forward to creating amazing memories with my little person. But, I will continue to interact with men. I certainly will not tether myself to a man legally and financially. Simply connecting, enjoying, creating great memories.
But you can't live by this today. The men out here are becoming crazier by the day.
Lady your limiting beliefs are popping here, what you’re advising is called rotational dating, Mina Irfan speaks of this all the time. Your disbelief in a man being exclusive with You is your own personal problem tho, not explanation of men. Men are loyal to honeys they willfully chase down & marry. They’re not your friends tho, that part of advice is backwards. They might be friend-zoned but they’re not your friends :))
Sandra, it's very true . Im in my late late 40s!!!! And i would rather have some man who was kind good natured and generous in spirit. Men are visual..... but not all people that look good, are good , it's great to have someone you can laugh with and just be your self....
Sharon, I think you said it in a nutshell. All people that look good or not really good human beings. We have to dig deeper I think. Thank you for sharing that❤️
Totally agree. As I have matured over the years, I find that I am more attracted to a real man. Not just the good looking ones. Made that mistake early on. I have found that the unusual or more plain looking men, some of them are really very attractive by being the decent and respectful kind of person that I deserve. And to me that beats looks any day of the week. 🙂👍🏻
Men our age (40s and 50s) tend to look for young women and not value maturity. I agree that not all older women took care of themselves and neglected their appearance. But some of us kept up and still look good for our age. Men are visual creatures with fragile egos (most men in any case) and will rather go for a pretty, young thing than a mature lady. Life is not fair!
sharon bracken stay away from Cancerians they are sooooo moody.....
I'm looking for a friend first, friendship is important this stage first, friendship first with no rush, no pressure mm
Friendship is extremely important when everything in life changes and you were not friends and relationships can fall apart. Friendship is the basic core of everything❤️
I met my husband when I was 14 years old at a dance. He asked me to go steady (be his steady girl) on that same night I met him and I said yes. We stayed together and got married when I was 18 years old (he was 22) . That was 1962 . Yes, we are still married and very happy. But independence? No way. I guess we are stuck in being old fashioned. He always did the driving if we were both going somewhere together and he still does. He paid for all of our dates. He was always the gentleman but I was expected to always be the lady. He opens my car door and still does. I was also surprised that none of those you interviewed said they wanted a good cook. My husband would have put that first. I learned how to make all of his families ethnic dishes and to this day I honestly think he loves my cooking abilities very much. If I were gone and he had to choose another I am certain if she could not cook he'd be gone. Also no one mentioned looking for one of the same faith, or morals. Anyway it was a very interesting video. I do think a little independence is good but not too much. I believe our 58 years of marriage and still going is because we both gave up a lot of our independence. Just a thought.
Belva, If it is not broken don’t fix it! It sounds as though you both have a wonderful marriage and understanding of one another’s needs. What a wonderful story you and your husband have Thank you so much for sharing your long relationship of growing up together, understanding one another, and sharing each other‘s needs. Your’s is a beautiful story 💕
Sounds like you're very blessed. 💕You & your beloved are well matched.
Think ppl need to be interdependent. Being either too independent or dependent can be harmful in a relationship. There needs to be balance where you can each function on your own a bit (say in a career or hobby); shared interests & goals (faith, music, fitness, etc.); be able to serve your partner in a way that is meaningful to both of you (i.e., understand & accept each other's love language); & also to be able to rely on that someone to meet some of your needs (to be discussed & decided between you). Each couple (or pair of friends) create a social contract. A lot of the time that is non-verbal, but it doesn't hurt to address those things.
💐 With you on the old-fashioned front. Manners & courtesy are critical to me. It is a gesture of honor for yourself & others. I like ppl that open & hold doors for others. Who stand up for a lady or anyone new walks into your midst. Anyone who willingly gives up their seat for another (esp. someone disabled, a mother, or any elderly person).
Like ppl who are hospitality minded. Who has a "fish/loaves" faith that their basket will be refilled. I enjoy ppl that love to cook too bcos it is my favorite space in a home. Appreciate those who would never visit empty handed. And, someone who values the little things in life like a good story, fresh flowers or baked bread. 🦋
true...but it would be nice to have a man that could cook...none of mine could boil water...lol
another 18-22 marriage here that's still going 47 years later. I have no desire to be independent, but am given as much space as I wish to take. He values me and I am so grateful for him. On the MBTI we are complete opposites - but that's what makes life interesting (and humbling also).
Belva. You both have hit the right balance. 👍 But I think you’re the one with the greater wisdom. Just a feeling. 👍❤️🙏
Nothing worse than "old man smell." He would have to have great hygiene! That's really at the top of my list, along with groundedness, compassion, integrity, honesty, etc. He would have to be able to sit at the table of honorable men! No alcoholics or drug abusers at this table!
Rita, LOL! Those are all good qualifications. I think we all would agree.❤️
Oh yes, 100 % agreed. No baggy shorts, sneakers, and baseball caps. Confidence, and good table manners. And Barry Gibb of Bee Gees is the sexiest man alive I think, perhaps ever existed, so if this dream man could sing that would be a big plus for me....haha! I know, I'm dreaming again girls! ...
No alcohol no drugs all Forbidden
The Natural high🌌 I'm that kind of guy🌊🌤️🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌙
Smelling bad, drugs or any kind of addict is something that would ruin the image of even the most attractive guy, so a BIG no no I wouldn't even take in concern.
Sandra, not only are you a beautiful lady with a beautiful spirit to match but I can’t believe that you actually take the time to reply to EVERY person that made a comment on your video! Wow!, I have the ultimate respect for you.
Thank you for you! Much❤️ from PA.
I really enjoy every single one of the women in this community. I feel they deserve the respect of an answer if they have been kind enough to watch and comment on my videos. I am so happy you are here.❤️
I think it was Dr James Dobson that said: "We all know men can see better than they can think". LOL. For me a man must have my same spiritual beliefs. Plus: honesty, intelligent, kind, similar interests, fun, health oriented, educated, good provider, loves to travel, soulmate, good manners and grooming, and good with conversation. I checked all these areas out before I married my husband and we have been married 50 years which we both can hardly believe. Time goes by fast when you are having fun. Enjoyed your topic.
All of the qualities you checked off are so important and so very real for a lasting relationship. The more we have in common the better off we are in ensuring our marriage or relationship will last. Opposites attract sometimes but there Hass to be many common denominators involved in that thank you so much for sharing your love story with us and congratulations on those wonderful years, 50 years, that you and your husband have been together.❤️
I always loved listening to James Dobson while I was raising my children
Absolutely!!!!!!!
I’m a 65 widow that had a wonderful marriage for many years with a Godly man.
Top requirements (desires?) now.
1. Kind and joyful spirit
2. Sense of humor
3. Active and healthy
4. Clean and neat
5. Financially independent
Caroline those are five really wonderful qualities. I do hope that someone crosses your path with all of those attributes. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us today❤️
Qualities I as a healthy and active woman in her 70's want in a partner: Intelligence, character, kindness, zest for life, healthy and fit (including sexual health), active lifestyle, good conversationalist, and being at peace with who he is.
Karen those are all very excellent qualities.❤️
The last one is the most important one for me. X
most men in their 70's do not have "sexual health"...
@@lilpoohbear653 I have heard that from many women. That is not something I am looking forward too to be honest as I love a good sex life and it keeps you fit and healthy as well!
And humor
Fun topic!
Summary
Teen boys:
Pretty face
Trendy
Smells good
Good personality
Likes what he likes
Men in their 30s:
Attractive
Good listener
Supportive of his goals and dreams
Independent
Compatibility - common interests and goals
Men in their 50s:
Good sense of style
Excellent sense of humour
- Uplifting personality
Confidence in herself
Decisive on what they want in life, not vacillating or bending to their will
Men in their 70s:
Passion for life
Great sense of humour
Good conversation
Good listener
Independent - can stand on her own two feet
Men in their 80s:
Soft, Natural beauty
Self-confident, knows what she wants, doesnt worry about age
Sense of humour
Interested in life, joie-de-vivre, willing to do things wih him
Grounded in good values, down to earth
Women over 60 :)
Character
Kindness
Intelligence
Grounded
Loves your children and grandchildren
Older men who want in depth honest relationship, want to be with someone who understands his music and his era, more than just being with a younger woman.
(Didn't catch them all, but that's it in a nutshell.)
Please do men in their 20s, 40s, 60s and 90s! :)
“Supportive and interested in him plus independent” translates to “Be around when I need your attention, but when you need me you can take care of yourself.” Aha.
I think it depends on how you translate that. Independence can mean not being needy and clinging vine. That works both ways. For him and for her❤️
Hi Sandra. I love that you find such interesting topics to discuss. I agree with what the older men said. I'm 60 and have been married to my husband for 37 years. I would say when we were young and first met, that our relationship was based on more of a physical attraction and that over the years, our communication has gotten so much better. We talk about everything and we're best friends. Since my husband retired, we've been traveling the world and discovered that this is something we both love. Now, we're renovating an old apartment in Georgia (Europe) and are having the time of our lives. I guess you could say we've really grown together.
Cristina, Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful love story with us today. It sounds as though you really are married to your soulmate. That does not always happen so you’re really very lucky that you two are beyond lovers but you are also best friends. What fun it must be renovating an older apartment. I would love to be doing that, too. Please enjoy the rest of the week and thank you again❤️
I agree with this video. I have often heard men love woman that smell good, we are prehistoric beings and scent was a big part of the hunt still is. Men love when woman listen to them go on and on usually a story you have heard a million times but you respond as if you have heard it for the first time.They love to be heard and acknowledged. The also really love the word "thank you" for the simplest act they do. Watch their face light up the next time they do a simple act and you thank them for it.
Sue, very interesting. I really enjoy your sharing your thoughts with us today. I am sure those are qualities that men would enjoy and make them feel special.❤️
What a sweet & delightful lady you are….you remind me of my mother’s mother. I miss her everyday since she passed 37 years ago. She was a one in a million kind of lady. Never met anyone as good as her in my entire life. She was pure love & just such a beautiful & fun lady…such a lady.
I’m going to share this with my daughter, who’s 33, when or if she asks. She hasn’t made finding a companion much of a priority since college. Grad school, work, internship - she’s busy reaching her own goals. I admire (envy sometimes) the way she’s been able to move forward without worrying about what her husband wants! Still, I think it would be good for her to have a partner at some point because life has challenges and it’s great to have someone who’s on our side. The men in your survey seem to know that too. Keep up the good work Sandra! I like your clear thinking and I appreciate you!
I hope your daughter will find this interesting. You must be very proud of her because she sounds like she S moving forward and for filling her life to reach her own goals. Someday when it’s right she will find a partner in life in the meantime you’ve done a wonderful job giving her all the values that she needs to live a full life.❤️
I am 20 and I really like to take each piece of advice of somebody that has had so many opportunities to get experiences. I am glad you are sharing this and everything else with your community so everyone can have the opportunity to grow.
If I was looking for a man, he must share my spiritual beliefs, be mostly selfless, be kind, outgoing, thoughtful...willing to help out around the house...NOT be totally dependent on me for his needs...not be critical or stubborn... all the things my husband is and has been for me for over 41 years...basically infatuated with me…proud to be with me and to consider me a treasure...!!!
All wonderful attributes to be looking for and what a lucky woman you are to still have an adoring husband after all these years.❤️
I've just turned 61 and learned a long time ago that I wanted a man who wanted me just a tad more than he needed me. I'm a strong female and have dated many men who needed me more than they wanted me. And I felt used and drained. I don't know that I'll ever even date again (I have health issues) but I'll still find happiness in every day. ❣️
Do you know, both of my daughters are in their 50s and I don’t think either one of them really ever want to get married again. They have men that are interested in them but they like their independence too much.. ❤️
My mother always said that, that a relationship had a better chance when the man was a little more invested than the woman.
@@lifewithsandrahart I've been a single Mom for most of my daughter's life, and while times were hard (daughter is physically challenged), I could make decisions on what was best for us without too much debate! 😁
@@loonyTlu I totally agree with that.
@@loonyTlu FACTS. Female friends in 20+ yr marriages have husbands who love them wayyy more.
We celebrated ou 61st wedding anniversary yesterday. You are right on the mark with your research. I cannot imagine having another partner but if I did it would a person who is kind, thoughtful and with a zest for living. Looks fade but these qualities are priceless.
Jeanette, wow that is so awesome 61 years. What a fantastic number. Enduring qualities of the ones that we should always look for in a mate. I’m glad you found yours.❤️
Thank you again. Me personally, I love being single because it's so much more easier and peaceful. I have been married twice and was engaged to be married a third time but thank God I dodged that bullet. Marriage these days is nothing like it was in the past. I find men to be a lot of WORK. Men these days are not really looking for wives, they are looking for MAMMIES...Not Mothers, but MAMMIES. They want someone to take care of them but hardly do much of anything to take care of their partners. Now most men expect women to agree with SHARING a man. That's craziness to me. Anyway, Sandra I'm totally LOVING you and your Channel.
Amen!!! Thanks so much!!
I totally agree with all of your points on what men want in a lady. My husband and I both have great sense of humors and laugh so much every day. Laughter is the best medicine!
Yes it definitely is
I think a common sense of humor, and we all need it in a marriage to hold it together. It’s so extremely important❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart yes. You do have to be able to laugh at yourself. Don't take life too seriously. There will be times it'll be serious on it's own. Without our help.
Dearest Sandra,
I heard we could see Mars tonight! So I ran out after dusk on my balcony. I called out to Mars. (He did not answer) I could not see it yet... I came back inside and found you on here talking about Mars. Serendipitous !
I had to tell you. Now I will watch the Video.
Thank God for making you!
Oh, this was so funny, loved it. Tks.
Greetings from Los Angeles! Thank you for your advice ❤ I’m 36 y.o. and love watching your videos. I wish there were more women like you. 3 years ago my divorce finalized. I put myself out there and a loving and caring man found me. The best part is I’m still growing and striving to be a better version of myself.✨
I believe the greatest attribute men of all ages desire is respect. For me, the top things I desire in a man are kindness, intelligence, integrity, loving nature for people, and physical fitness. I agree with what you said,, and women do think differently because of our maternal instinct.
YES RESPECT IS #1 TO MEN :)
Emily, those are all wonderful qualities. I really appreciate you sharing those with us today.❤️
Emily Morris,That's good
Very enlightening, Sandra. I realise that there is a lot of compromise in a relationship, but it sure seems like the thing that never changes for men is that they are only interested in what they can get out of it! Women can’t help being the ones trying to please their partner - or else we would not be trying to figure out what they want and how we can give it to them!
I believe exactly what you are saying. We are so different from men and the way they think we think about things.❤️
They sure don’t spend their time figuring out what we want and how to keep the marriage together. It is us doing most of the work to keep everything blissful and in tact. They expect ALOT and give little back. In my opinion.
Goodness I have been married for 33 years. We basically got married at 19 years old. We have grown so much. We have changed so much too. As we get older our relationship means so much to both of us. We are still growing together even after all of these years.
How lucky you two are. That is everyone’s dream to meet their soulmate and grow old together. Thank you so much for sharing that with us❤️
I am done too. Never thought I would feel this way. But after this last relationship, nope, done, no more. I am happy with my family.
You sound so much like my daughters. They are both in their 50s and are happy being single and enjoying their children.❤️
I absolutely agree. I have no interest in dating. I love being on my own and answering to no one.
I am 38 and was feeling over the hill. Thank you for this. I’ve been working on my healing and self confidence. 💕
I think ultimately in a relationship, both sides want the same thing. We all crave support, good hygiene (I hear this a lot from the young crowd lol), respect of common interests/values, compatibility, attraction and humor.
YES! Good hygiene!
Those are all really great things. Thank you for sharing your list with us today.❤️
Sandra - you are spot on with your observations. I am in my early 70s and have been widowed for four years. My husband and I were truly soulmates and married for 48 years. I thought I would never have (or want) another partner. However, life alone after so much togetherness is very lonely. For several months I have been dating and find men my age are looking for exactly what you describe. The only other consideration I have come across that you didn’t mention is financial independence. I can’t speak for other women but it is something to consider. Wealth or lack of it is certainly not a good reason to be attracted to ... or to be attractive to someone. However, it does play a role in relationships, especially if they become long term, serious or result in co-habitating or marriage. So keeping that in mind, it is likely something both women and men are considering when looking to develop a relationship. As always, you have wonderful advice and are a blessing to us all.
Elaine, you are so correct. Financial independence is extremely important and when I spoke of independence that independence also included financial independence older men and older women want to be able to be independent financially so that they can be comfortable in the relationship without having to lean on the other one❤️
Just your face and way of thinking tells me that you’re a fine person inside and out. Great video Sandra.
Oh Penny. that is so very kind. Thank you so much.❤️
Men think differently, Sandra, but the common denominator is that people are attracted to people who are interested in *them* as a person. A good listener & one with a good sense of humor is priceless. If you're kind to animals, that tells me a great deal about heart & I know you're my kind of people! Interesting topic! Blessings! Jackie in upstate NY
Good morning Jackie. It is so great to hear from you again. I agree with you wholeheartedly. People are interested in people who are interested in them. Also, people who love animals are usually very kind and some of the best people I have ever met.❤️
Ibelieveinangels yesido, you must be a precious being
Handsome, smart, kind, financially secure.....a good cook.
Those are all great qualities. Excellent.❤️
I'm 52 and single for last decade. No kids. Yet to find a man who enjoys company with an independent minded yet traditional girl. But I'm not complaining. I'm starting off an education venture of mine at 52 and I want to be working and well maintained till 80.
Self-confidence is always a good attribute for everyone because who wants to feel the pressure that another adult depends personally on you ? You both need to be able to be a complete person without having to possess a "second half".
That really is important, too.❤️
For me (and I’m 70 and almost 71), the very first thing I would search for (am married and not searching) would be a man who loves the Lord Jesus Christ and is rooted and grounded in Him. Because, if you find a man like that, he would know Christ’s love and from that would be able to love me, as Christ loved the church. Everything else is superficial but having a heart for God......well, that is so very beautiful. Substance.❤️❤️❤️
That's so true. I keep praying that if God has another man for me. To please send him my way. I'm lonely, for a good kind loving man. That believes in God. All the way.
@@jillpeacock4540 ❤️❤️❤️
Very wonderful reply thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us today. I agree.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart ❤️❤️❤️
Amen! I won’t settle for a non Christian either
As far as men...well they too should be more conversational and take interest and be a good listener.
True! ❤️
I totally agree with you. I've even noted in a younger man can enjoy a much older woman that is grounded, has a good humor and listens.
Christina thank you so much for sharing that with us today❤️
I find that I'm attracted to men younger than me and they are attracted to me. I am in my later 70's and men in their mid sixties are the ones who are attracted to me. My friends don't believe I'm as old as I am, because "I don't act my age!" I still feel young and act young. I don't think I would want to marry again, but I would love to have a good male friend to go places and do things with.
It really shows how self-centred men are (especially earlier in life, as you got up to 80 this was less) and how the most "attractive traits in a woman" are still solely about HIM. Like you said, no concern for his children, family, etc. It was how she could support him, how attractive she was for him, etc. It's wild to see that comparison really, because as a woman, it's about consistency, loyalty, etc., traits that would help us both in the relationship.
New here! Just found you and thoroughly enjoyed listening to you. I’m turning 60 next year and my husband works so much he comes home and doesn’t really talk to me. This was enlightening! I often hear that men only think about sex, even older ones, which we aren’t having, haven’t in a long time. Watching and listening to you made my day! Thank you! 😊
Rebekah, welcome. I am so glad that you found me, too. I am so happy you like this video. It was an interesting survey for me as well. I learned so much by interviewing these men of different ages. Thank you again and I hope we will see you here often.❤️
INTELLIGENCE is my number one necessary attribute I have come to realise. Intelligence and an ability to keep learning and expanding their depth of understanding and interests.
That always keeps the relationship interesting. Great suggestion❤️
I appreciate all the research you did, Sandra, to find out what men are looking for. It is so much more complex to be in a relationship as we get older. It's almost more important to know what you don't want, than do. Experience helps with that.
Shirley. Agree with you. Knowing what we don’t want first step number one❤️
I agree and know I need to be more confident in myself and my sense of humor. Thank you. I am 71 years old.
Linda thank you so much for sharing the things that you look for.❤️
I'm a girl of 24 from India .. I'm commenting here before watching the video .. YOU LOOK SOOO BEAUTIFUL .. I cannot take my eyes off you ..
Sandra I love love this subject! My 5 things are this, a man who can tell me life stories.....not blow his own trumpet, real life stories (intelligent), good hygiene, sense of humor (I love love laughing), and caring towards humanity and the world. Sandra I could probably make it to 10. I dance alone for this very reason. Thank you Sandra for being here! Much love!
Marci, excellent, excellent qualities. Thank you so much for sharing with us.❤️
I just saw your post about Arthur as I listened to you on my tv..saw post on iPad. I’m so sorry for your loss and I thank you so much! I am turning 60 in August and your videos give me hope for happiness❤️
I agree with everything you said. I found in my conversations with men that they want very much the same thing. I am now 65. I have been single for 19 years. I’ve been in several relationships but find that in each one the man did not want to commit. I carry the same values as you. I would like to know where those amazing men are that would appreciate a good woman with no baggage, no debt and someone who just wants to share life‘s pleasures. Can you talk about where one might find a spiritually healthy man without going to an online dating site✌️
Susan, I will try to put that on my list. ❤️
Susan Heidemann, you deserve better
@@lifewithsandrahart I’m in my 50s. I agree totally we think differently. I am dating a man in his 60s who I know cares deeply for me. I think our expectations of what constitutes a great partnership are slightly different in as much he wants to take care of me, but I am independent and I would not want to be beholden to him. So we meet half way in the middle, aren’t relationships about compromise too? It’s just what we are able to compromise on? Anyway thank you for your insight, love seeing your content, nice to see more mature ladies on this medium! 👍🏼😘
Yess Susan WHERE are those amazing compassionate, caring, loving, supportive , emotionally open , healthy men who makes me laugh and love to enjoy life with me? And very important for me now in this time. I want a man who is awake and aware (Not vaccinated) They must be out there 🥳
Very nice to come across your channel I’m a 60 yr old woman with the inner feeling, stamina and zest for life of a 40 year old. It’s been super challenging in the dating scene. Ide love to share life with a very special kind man ... hearing the generational mindsets was very helpful!
Keep on being young at heart. That will always keep you young and beautiful in the eyes of others. Let’s hope we can socialize more and everyone who is looking for a partner will be able to continue dating. I hope I will see her often and I’m so happy you found me❤️
Thanks. I enjoyed your interesting real life research. Its given me some hope that I'm not invisible to men over 60, as I'm now 60.
You are not too old. Just take this time to try and live full life and if it is meant to be your soulmate will find you.💕
Glad to hear about this five tips . I am 68 yrs a widow, independent and would love to find a nice gentleman but like you I don’t know much about men and really don’t have an idea as to what men want . I am mature independent and have been on my own for awhile .
Ellie, independent women who have been alone for a long time I think me find it very difficult to permanently share their lives with a partner. It can happen if you find your soulmate, but being independent makes a strong and self-sufficient. You and your thoughts are not alone❤️
After a few boyfriends that were not right for me, I realized I should choose a partner in part by affinities, as I do with friends. It seems obvious now, but it really wasn't before. Laughing is a very important thing to me. There was a woman at work that was 40 years older than me and because she was always laughing I thought: I want her to be my friend. It was great. We were always laughing and she taught me a lot of things before she passed away. I also realized with time that no matter how you look, there is someone who thinks you are beautiful. You just have to date a lot to find them. Sometimes, things you don't like in your body are the same things that attract men.
Sandra, Thank you so much! I found this video deeply helpful! ❤ I’ve translated it to my mum and we discussed it together. I’m 19 and she’s 51, both single but of course we want another scenario:) Million thanks to you! Great conversation, great analysis 🙏🏼❤️
I'm almost 59 and remarried 2 years ago to a loving kind man of 60. I think it's a good reminder of what men like and appreciate. When we were dating I flinched rather than laughed at his attempt to tease because of my past emotionally abusive marriage. He said, How am I going to be able to tease you if I think you might react that way? I gradually relaxed and he teases me all the time and I love it. It WAS important to him. He also witnessed my response and watched how I handled a situation with a rental property from out of state and was very impressed. So he valued that too. You are a delight and with all this isolation it's nice to find you.
Ciara, I know so many will be interested in your story and your relationship attraction. It is never too late to find someone who is a wonderful soulmate. That’s why we both have to listen to one another in our relationship. I am so happy to have you here with us in this community and I hope you continue sharing your thoughts with all of us.❤️
Sara Grant,I am so happy for you!
Aside from kindness, care, having fun, LOYALTY.
I am 70 years old and my husband of 49 years of marriage passed away. I am not looking for a companion, however, if I was, I would be looking for a man who can hold a conversation, who is kind, respectful, smells nice and has the same interests such as going for walks, to live shows, theatre, opera, etc. and can later discuss them. With all these positive aspects, the physical side would be easy to forget. So I fully agree with your comments and findings. Very interesting to hear what you had to say.
Anastasia, I’m so sorry to hear that your husband passed away. That truly is a loss I know that is very difficult. I have been through that myself. I really enjoyed hearing the qualities that you would like if you were looking for a companion right now. They’re all excellent qualities that would be so desirable. I agree with you on each and everyone. Thank you so much for joining me today and I’m so happy you shared your thoughts ❤️
Interesting..I agree with you. I am 65 -widowed for 13 years . It was foremost to me about the blending of families. How someone would treat my children and grandchildren.
Terrie, I found it interesting that none of the men ever mentioned that. For me it was almost number 1 on my list.❤️
Hi Sandra, another great topic and oh so true. When I married my first husband I was very young and it was about the butterflies, which quickly flew away and then there wasn’t much there to sustain a long healthy marriage. When I married Dave, love came softly, but grew deeply. If I were looking I would have to have a man of deep faith, a leader in the family, have great character and love me like my parents loved me. He would have to be a man of honor, a servant to others and show gratitude each day. Thankfully I have that in Dave and don’t feel anyone could ever measure up to him. I would not settle for less. This video made me see how far I have come and I am grateful to you. Love, Sheila
Shelia, thank you so much for sharing the growth that you have experienced in relationships throughout the years. All the qualities and Dave are the ones we all want. Sometimes it takes us a while to mature ourselves.❤️
I totally agree with you. I am divorced after 29 years of marriage and I love the qualities you mention in mature men. The sense of humor and sharing life experiences as well as been grounded are really important for me. Thanks a lot for your beautiful sharing. Take good care Sandra.
Thank you for being here and you take care of yourself as well❤️
Thank you Sandra. I'm a 35 year old female but it's interesting to see what 'matters' later on in life... I suspect it's much the same for women too. 🙂
I wish someone had told me when I was your what I know now and what I should expect in life how wonderful that you have so much living and great adventures ahead of you.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart ❤️
What I am looking for in a man - I use the word “IMPRESS” ( Intellectual, Money Mgt., Physical, Recreational, Emotional, Social and Spiritual aspects of his being)
Oh! Looking forward to your fashion show!
Your talk reminded me of something I saw on TV many years ago, and I might not remember it all clearly - George Burns was in his late 90's and was on the Johnny Carson show. Johnny was ribbing him about dating a much younger woman. "Hey, George... why don't you date women your own age?!" After a thoughtful puff on his cigar, he said, "There ARE no women my age!" Peals of laughter!
Anyhow....I'm currently in my early 60's, divorced. What I look for in a man is his character - having integrity and dignity; empathetic; intelligent; has the same spiritual beliefs as I, and has a certain "joie de vivre" - a spark; he may be older, but doesn't think of himself as "old" and "out of it". A kind personality and consideration for others trumps good looks. I met a man in my 20's who was "drop dead gorgeous" - great fit body, handsome, etc. -- but he was so dumb he couldn't carry a conversation to the other side of the room. I had no interest in him!
I love that comment by George Burns he was so fantastic. Thank you for sharing that with us and reminding us of his great wit. All of the things you look for in a man, I think are the right qualities that most of us would be looking for. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts K care and have a wonderful day❤️
I agree. As inhave gotten older sex has become less important. Character is most important.
Character is extremely important. Passion fades but character stays.❤️
Im on my early 50, healthy and still energetic and and honestly among other qualities, sex is still very important to me. I can't imagine of a good relationship without that good quality stuff in bed.. Hope I'm not a bad girl hahaha
@@marieconnect6389 That doesn't make you a bad girl because truth is, men will always crave for sex even in their senior years. That is embedded in their DNA whereas women can thrive with voluntary celibacy, men cannot. To have a successful, meaningful relationship in our senior years, the couple should find means and ways to make sex enjoyable. There's kama sutra for seniors as a guide. ; )
Character was always important to me.
@@lifewithsandrahart Will you kindly discuss sex among seniors if you can find an expert on this topic? I met several seniors between 50 to 76 who were straightforward in saying they cannot stay with women who are not interested at all/ have lost interest in sex. I have not lost interest in sexual intimacy BUT I make it clear with them that I would like it to be done in a committed relationship where we have already bonded intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, etc instead of sexual bonding within the first few dates just to check sexual compatibility. High value men shouldn't find it unreasonable for a woman to require knowing them at a deeper level before sexual intimacy. If a man is only interested in sex, the woman can walk away if they're not on the same page.
Very interesting! Good to know.
As for me, in my late 50s, I would look for kindness, zest for life, common interests, and someone who is supportive and who can do all his chores by himself.
Eerindira, being able to do chores by himself. Know that is really an interesting one. I think that’s the biggest complaint I have is that I’m constantly cleaning up and focusing on my husband. He has never been handy around the house with anything.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart That is a hard trait to find. I bet if you find someone who can do all his chores by himself, he’ll end up being one of those mean, grouchy fellows! Ah well, in the end it boils down to someone who loves you and cares for you deeply.
That’s true! ❤️
Good advice! (and may I just add, smile.... even if you are the only one in the room... smile, it's good for the facial muscles and it is good for the soul)
Smile is extremely important. I agree with you 100%.❤️
I’m an attractive women in my 50’s and have to agree with a most of the comments. My experience is that men don’t want to admit they are getting older so they try to find young women. It is a candy store on the Internet these days with plenty to choose from and they become experts. My ex was proposing marriage to every woman he started a conversation with and this was about 10 women at a time! They all fell for it. When I meet men my age they seem horrified or panicked when they realize I’m over 5O - it’s such a double standard because I give them a chance. Tired of these men who are in denial about their own age and looks. They really can date endlessly on the internet. I’m hoping to meet someone through sheer grace and circumstance !
Anna, I have heard the same narration from a lot of women your age. I think if women just quit looking and work on fulfillment in their own lives, somehow love will find them. We have to be happy with who we are and if the right one comes along then that is icing on the cake! ❤️
There's no doubt about it. Surrendering your will to Jesus Christ is the key to eternal happiness and salvation!!
I agree with you. I am 72 and have discovered much of the same thing. My three husbands all died young. I’m not sure I want to go through that again.
@@SWDesert1535 If you're hot at 72, and you're good at French kissing, you could still be a great catch
@Cindy Lou Are you hot and available, Cindy? Let's have a coffee date.
I'm in my 20s and have been married 5 years, I started dating my husband as a teen and looked for the same things you said in a husband :)
As usual Sandra some fascinating insights.. What to look for in a man? Kindness, generosity, kindness, integrity, kindness, humour - oh, and did I mentions kindness? !!
Kindness is such an important quality. You are so right.❤️
TOTALLY!! It’s not every day you will meet someone that you have a real connection with. I also like younger men than myself because I’m very active. I’m going to be 71
Enjoying all the variety you put in your content, this was a fun one! With love and support, XOXO
You know I really and sincerely appreciate that. Thank you so much for understanding the work that goes into the subject within some of my videos. I hope you have a wonderful day today.❤️
Interest in someone for who they are is something we both want. And everyone wants to be listened to.
Absolutely. Having something in common and being able to share conversations and feel that you matter is so important on both sides.❤️
Absolutely. Having something in common and being able to share conversations and feel that you matter is so important on both sides.❤️
I am a 67 year old woman, & I would love a companion who would be able to talk about ideas, instead of just things, be passionate about something; whether it be a hobbie, Grandkids, animals
Nona. Those are great qualities to want. Thank you❤️
Hard to find. Men and women after 67, they have been there done that, they tired and don’t want to do anything anymore...sorry but that’s just the hard truth..👍🏻😆
@@lilyherbal2262 that’s true however an intelligent, educated man is very interring because he sees this age as the age when he can give back & leave a legacy to the world. True they’re not as get up & go, but there’s a lot to be said for a smart, wise, kind man who’s takes a philosophical view.
@@mgkos It doesn’t matter how educated or intelligent he is after 67....the mind slowing deteriorate. He mostly interested nurse if not purse....😂😂😂. Those men you stated are in the 1 to 2%...😂😂😂
As a single woman of 59 year old I appreciate your research . The information was interesting.
You are exactly right!! It take years to gain that wisdom!!
Betty, it is true, isn’t it?. If I had only known then what I know now!❤️
If a gentleman comes by and helps to add quality, colour, caring and makes you happier than what you already are... then he's a keeper. Cherish him and enjoy a richer, more colorful last chapter together. Who does not deserve that. Good luck ladies and gentlemen.
Very interesting, Sandra!! I remember as a teenager I wanted the best looking boyfriend around!! I agree with your list of characteristics in a potential mate. Integrity, ability to accept my family, shared faith, and a good sense of humor are at the top of my list. Many blessings, and love, my beautiful friend..MaryEllen
Your list is what most of us look for in a mate. Looks fade but those strong values are there for ever that help keep us together. I was a wallflower in high school and didn’t blossom until college. Thank you for being here my very beautiful and kind friend. Love you and my best to Jim.❤️
MaryEllen After 60,your pretty smile can make the news!
U say ur not pretty… u have a whole glow…. Sillly lady ur simply wonderful!
As a mature woman myself & to answer to your question, I feel that good character, kindness, sense of humor, compatibility & similar interests are the first and foremost qualities I would look for in a man. Thank you...it's my first time watching your channel!
💟💜💟
Hello and welcome Linda. So nice to have you here and hope you will come back again and subscribe. I love the choices that you made in characters that you look for in a man. They are very good. Thank you again for sharing your thoughts.❤️
I couldn't agree more with you Sandra. Even in their 60s a man still wants a woman who's attractive, good figure, humerous, listens to them, is smart, a caring soul, interested in them, their likes and their interests. For me; it's all about character. Are they honest, grounded, sensitive, caring, loving, established, intelligent? Of course a good or excellent chemistry is a must. A great video and thankyou. Many women feel invisible after a certain age. You notice when men don't look at you and certainly when they do. Being an honest, kind, caring soul is top on my list for men AND women xxx Blessings and much love to you dearest Sandra xxxx
Thank you for all the great qualifications. They are right on and things that I would look for too. ❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart ❤️❤️❤️
I think it’s all true from the teenage to the older men.
Deborah, I retesting, isn’t it? ❤️
Very nice - I agree that I want someone my own age, who shares similar values, we watched the same tv shows growing up, listened to the same music, know the styles. It gives a feel of knowing each other longer.
Nina. familiarity it’s extremely important in a relationship.❤️
Hi I
Connie I’m 68 and I am so glad I found you on You Tube. I throughly enjoy your videos.
Hello Connie. So nice to meet you. Welcome and I’m so glad that you decided to join our wonderful community of women here who are compassionate, smart, and wanting to live the best life ever we can in this chapter of our lives. Thank you again I am so happy to have you here.❤️
Hi Sandra! And all her followers.... so I’m trying to figure out... who would give this woman a thumbs down?!!!
Justine, thank you so very much for your support. I always forget to ask people to give me a thumbs up if they like the video. I guess there are some who just are having a bad day and they want everyone else to join them!😊❤️
Hi Sandra...This was a very interesting subject and one that not to many people addressed....I for one love a man that takes pride on his health and like to exercise but what attracts me the most is someone that can have amazing conversation and can be sensitive when he needs to be....love a man who can enjoy the simple things in life and can turn them into an adventure....I love to see life through his eyes and he can see life through mine...maybe wishful thinking but hey a girl can dream.....lol......ILY....MINDY
Mindy, those are all excellent qualities that Everywoman should be looking for in a man. It’s not unrealistic to want these in a companion. There are men out there with those it’s just being able to find them.❤️
I love what you have said Mindy! Dreams can come true, I met my Husband when I was young. We have multiple opposites. Different culture, different Family background, different ways of thinking I mean TOTAL opposites !!! Over the years some have been really painful to navigate but all said & done, your last sentence "I love to see life through his eyes & he can see life through mine" has been HUGE in keeping on pushing through our difficulties!!! My life has appeared to other's ( even our three children ) as amazing, but we have struggled many many times to try to bridge the differences between us & your sentence says it all really! I pray that your dream comes true & that special someone will appreciate & love you as much as you would Mindy
@@gauntlettolife833 what a beautiful message...I think there are differences we can deal with and some not,,,I married a man from Uruguay and even thou he was a good man our culture and education interfere with our life. He was always helping his family in his country and that was lots of money. I did'nt think it was right because they wanted money all the time and we work hard for it..He left after we were married for 7 years and I can tell you I was heart broken but within time I pull through and I have been single for over 23 years...date and all but not married or living with any one....I hope I can meet the right person(friend) and partner but meaning while I am happy with whom I become....I pray you can be happy being who you are.....blessings beloved......THANKS FOR THE GOOD THOUGHTS......MINDY
Surface beauty is the expression of the inner beauty. It is how you read it and how it resonates with you.