I'm 27 and I've been through it. she is speaking straight facts, she literally hit the nail on the coffin. Only way you will find the right man who will respect you and cherish you is by loving yourself and putting yourself first.
Everyone should be putting themselves first, that’s how you maintain yourself lol It’s not new information.. if you don’t put yourself first you will be depressed and disappointed
As a man, all I can say is that there is an incredibly immense amount of information that I learned about both myself and the way I should think about how I interact with the women in my life from this video. Thank you for sharing, this video is NOT just for women, guys we can learn from this too. Here's to everyone in the comments section becoming better partners all around, I wish you all the best of luck in your dating lives.
So what have you learned from this video and how will it make you a batter partner? How did it change your mind? Is there something you found particularly informative? I'm curious to know what the difference between a male perspective and a female perspective on this issue is.
6:20 "you make me feel safe" is one of the most heartwarming compliments I could get from a woman. I'd want her to feel like I truly love her and care about her wellbeing. Instant protector mode turns on.
a relationship is not the calculation of who gives more or less, the value he gives you is correlated to the way he likes you that's all, but it is time to realize that love should not be a give and take of values...otherwise it's no longer love.
My boyfriend of 4 years and I recently broke up. He said that he needed space and freedom, he needed more time with his friends and he wanted to experience more, while the fact is he spent all day with his friends and prioritized them over me, so I gave him what he wanted. My heart was broken into pieces when I said I want to break up, but I definitely didn't feel any regret saying it because deep down, I know that I'm doing the right thing. Those days after breakup, he felt a little regret accepting to break up with me and tried to spend more time with me, but I don't see it as love or show any signs that I want him back. Anyway, for any broken heart out there, please be brave to step out of one's life who doesn't need you. Baby you deserves to be loved and cared by a man who wants you, not a boy who is just affected by fcking high testosterone and doesn't really know what he wants in life.
Could have gotten married if you gave him what he wanted. That was a critical moment for you and you fumbled. You took matters into your own hands and broke up instead of giving him what he wanted and seeing where it went. You have expectations of how a relationship should look like, but since you are not married he had every right to ask for time away to think things through. Chanced are he would have come back to you and loved you deeper than you can imagine but you threw that opportunity away 4 years down the drain because of hastily making a decision from an emotional perspective instead of giving him his space to map out his future with you And also, you're just a girl who also don't know what you want in life. Most people don't if they are honest with themselves. Our identities and ideas evolve over time and we should be gentle and patient with ourselves and one another to allow those evolutions to take place. Best of luck to you.
@@M3DIT4TEYou're delusional. She realized she wasn't being prioritized and put an end to it to safeguard her own time. She absolutely did the right thing.
@@M3DIT4TE i bet the dude was hanging out with friends more for maybe like a month tops and this girl still came to such a drastic conclusion after 4 years. lmao
Oh God! Not another quote by M. Monroe again? When will this moronic cliche finally wear out? Why would anyone want to accept you at your worst? Do you cuddle a serial killer when he goes on a rampage? Do you give a hug to psychopath who just burned you house? How about instead of bursting into emotional diarrhea that is likely to hurt people around you, you try to control your emotions and take the accountability for your actions like a mature, responsible, rational adult?
You are so lucky I wish TH-cam was a thing in the 1990’s! I was scammed at 20 with a narcissist McDonald eating freak! So young to go through all that bull! He knew exactly what he was doing ! I was a stranger in my own life.
As a man she is correct. Getting a lot of attention/availability from a low value woman does not make her more valuable and it makes her look even cheaper. True, no spicy, salty women, be as feminine and easy going as possible - easy does not mean hook ups. Too many women are chasing chads that care nothing for them - and they still do the hookups and situationships and wonder why the marriage offer is not there.
You could be the perfect package and still arrive at the wrong address. Take the advices but don’t rely on the things you do for a person to want you. As good as the advices were what people forget is that we have no control over someone liking us or to commit to us ultimately it’s their choice. We can’t manipulate it or outsmart it. What we can do is be the best version of ourselves.
1. Men value themselves more only when you go out of the way to do things for them. They do not value you more for this. 2. Invest more in yourself than you do in him and as a result he will see you as more valuable. 3. men want to feel like the man they want to be through your eyes. have opinions of your own, but be soft towards them & appreciate them. 4. men want you to be unavailable because of your fun life (hard to get), and be playful, fun and youthful (easy to be with). say what you need to say so you don’t resent him in his presence. 5. men want to be with confident women. know your worth. also: if they want to they will, if they don’t they won’t. if he’s not sure, you shouldn’t be either. follow his lead. 6. when he needs space, closing the gap will make even a good guy run. healthy relationships need space. he wants to see you in your power too. 7. when someone shows you who they are, believe them. accept people for who they are. trying to change them means you do not love them as they are. 8. pick the man, don’t let the man pick you. a woman must invite a man so he can get close. 9. looks is not all there is. values are. 10. sleeping with him only makes you more attached. emotional attachment is what keeps a man, so only sleep with him when you’re genuinely ready.
1. Doing more for man does not equal them valuing you more! 2. Valuing yourself first and putting yourself first does makes man value you. 3. Man does not want a spicy fight, they want a woman who will make him see himself as incredible man, you make him feels like the wayy he want to be. Secure attachment, I am an interesting woman with opinion. 4. It's about I am hard to get but easy to be with. I maintain playfulness....I cannot be contacted often. I have a builded life. 5. If I am confident I will be attracted to him.
1. Doing more for man does not equal them valuing you more! 2. Valuing yourself first and putting yourself first does makes man value you. 3. Man does not want a spicy fight, they want a woman who will make him see himself as incredible man, you make him feels like the wayy he want to be. Secure attachment, I am an interesting woman with opinion. 4. It's about I am hard to get but easy to be with. I maintain playfulness....I cannot be contacted often. I have a builded life. 5. If I am confident I will be attracted to him. 6. If he is not ready and I am not his type I leave it! 7. If he is not sure about us I am not sure! 8. Young man are not ready for the relationship that I need. 9. When he needs space or run away, I am letting him go. I am closing the gap. 10. Let people be who they are and I won't try to change them.😊
I completely agree with the looks thing!! When he looks like a 10 (in your eyes), but you end up providing for him, working two jobs to cover your bills and his bills, paying for 99% of all baby items because he can’t, and then telling you he can’t put in more hours because he needs his rest and relaxation on the weekends, he looks like a 0 REAL quick. Twice I’ve dated men because of their looks, twice I have learned that lesson. I think being physically attracted to him is an absolute must, but he def doesn’t need to look like a 10, he’ll be a 10 in your eyes soon enough base on how he treats you and provide for you.
@@beraudmusic Women are NOT men. Men have more energy and physical power than women. Men are more ambitious and outspoken than women. Men aren't nice just to be nice like women. Therefore, men who are in their "divine feminine" need to stay away from manipulating women to be a man, and admit to themselves that they're feminine, get out of the closet, and get with a man instead! The woman working 2 jobs will never respect that man and will resent him because deep down she knows she's not living her natural role! Have you ever seen a feminine woman who knows what she's all about end up with a feminine man with 0 ambition? No! They naturally repel each other.
@@beraudmusicBecause as women, we can bring way more to the table. A man can make a house, but women make it a home. Majority of men were raised to learn how to make money. Girls were taught how to clean, cook, shop, garden & take care of family members. If a man isn't working, what skills is he equipped with to make the house a home? Not speaking for all men or all women but it's just the norm.
In addition: I always say “the best gift you can give a man is giving him a reason to get up in the morning.” Men thrive when they have responsibility and experience self-efficacy. Entrusting him to take care of things while being supportive will make him feel like a capable man and appreciate you as the woman by his side. The woman Always taking care of everything won’t make him feel like the strong, capable man he wants to be and it won’t make him appreciate you more.
Yes, you are actually correct. Men need a purpose. And it's hard to find one without a family. That's why so many men have gone to war voluntarily. Because it gives you a purpose. That's the single most solid advice.
I think you're not understanding men at all actually. You should definitely want to date a mature man that does things and has his shit figured out but you need to match the effort. If the effort in the relationship isn't 50/50 eventually the mature man will feel underappreciated and will 100% leave you if he has any self-respect.
37 and she speaks the TRUTH!! I've seen enough divorces in my 30s from my friends that got married in their 20s where the relationship was based in her giving, giving, giving, pleasing and he just accepted it, then when they started focusing on themselves, the men got controlling or entitled. Fuck that. Develop yourself and the right guy who is also interested in self development will follow you
Yes, all relationships ended as soon as women started taking extra care of their partner or becoming completely dependent on themselves.... Men hate those women who care more .....
Dropping truth bombs left and right and I’m here for it. As a gal in her 30s and finally in a great relationship after kissing a lot of frogs I couldn’t agree more esp the last one. If the guy shows you who he is, that’s who he is! No more interpretation needed! The wrong man will never be ready for you and we got no time to waste!
I really want a suggestion rn So me (23) and my partner (26) are in relationship from 9 months we almost live together ... he told me during our frndship and dating time that he completed his graduation and quit the chartered accountant course in the final stage ( there are 3 stages, final is the last stage ) bc he thought it is not worth it ( two years ago) , he isn't working rn and doesn't like doing job or anything , he wants to learning trading ( which he is good at ) and not interested in studies... And he promised 2 of his friends that he would write their exam on behalf of them and took some money to help one of his friends mom hospital bill... and I did support and help him in all these things .... ( iam pursing chartered accountant final exam ) .. we both failed in those exams which we wrote unfortunately ( my exam and his friends exam ) .. So last week he left for a marriage to attend ..so I snooped into his laptop .. turns out he didn't even complete the second stage of chartered accountant course , .. he is been lying to me since 9 months... ( he once told me that he have to tell me something important but he needs good timing to tell ) there were a lot of circumstances which he could have possibly told me that secret ( nobody knows that he didn't finish it , he lied to everyone ) , iam feeling betrayed , used , manipulated, deceived, ,... I unable to trust him anymore .. I confronted him ... he told me that he was used to that lie .. and didn't have courage to tell me .he feels sorry .. and guilty .. but wants one last chance ... I feel like I don't know this person at all .. what should I do? .. ( besides this I know he loves me and I love him too, but I donot trust him )
When you are with a man who does not have the capacity to match you and meet your needs, and he feels your normal effort as “too much” and starts to see you with less value; don’t be like me instead just move on. Had a man who was too immature to realize the “effort” I was showing was what grown people do like the ability to time manage and show up on time. The man for you will see your value even if you make dating blunders. The man not for you will make you feel insecure with their immaturity and inconsistency because they aren’t that into you but want the benefits. A man who is not at your level and doesn’t see you worthy of stepping up, he will try to acclimate you to bare minimum. Don’t lower yourself. A man who is not ready or emotionally unavailable will kill your soul so walk away. No matter what age you are take the advice from this video and make smarter choices. Good luck out there ladies.
I agree!! I walked away from a relationship with a man that viewed my consistent/giving nature as “weak” and desperate. When in reality I was communicating and putting effort like a normal adult I didn’t even go overboard. He was just emotionally unavailable (which is hell btw - RUN!!) so he viewed availability as desperation. I left because I need a man who matches and appreciates my energy.
@user-rx7uh9mg4f Nah, I don't think it's emotional unavailability. I think he just wasn't into you. And that's ok. Most bf/gf relationships end anyway and are to watch if you two are compatible or not. You're looking for a communicative man who is giving & he prefers a more independent assertive woman. That's fine. It doesn't make someone mentally ill to not like you anymore.
Topics I'd like to see: 1. Protect energy from low vibrational men 2. How to communicate your value/boundaries silently. 3. Decenter men. Center yourself
thats because girls friendships are more "fake" and superficial . and they rarely last a lifetime . you tell to each other how great you are etc . then go and steal each others boyfriends or talk badly about each other behind each others backs . whereas men banter and call each other names but we are also not affraid to tell straight facts to each other - like if i think my bro is in a bad place or he is fat or drinking too much or whatever it may be i straight up tell him . i´m very selective when it comes to real friends , i have many "friends (acquaintances)" but only 2 "brothers" i have known since childhood and even if we don´t see each other often when one of us needs help we drop everything and go help him (and it happened few times in our lives) . on topic: the problem is that girls these days don´t want to date good guys . you go for good looking bad boys who play around and then wonder why it didn´t work out . another problem is that you all think you are 10s these days and an absolute price to be had . you are chasing after top 5-10% of men but those will not settle for you and they will only play games ... it´s not rocket science to figure it all out - just date normal average looking guys and you will be happy in life (but i guess thats boring) the normal guy is really simple , he is happy for a good wife - he only wants peace and someone who is pleasant to be around , and loyal (not cheating) . the rest are superficial things that can be easily solved with some communication ...
@@frank_sawyerStop lying men are going through a male loneliness epidemic. Focus on your own relationships with other lonely males and stop whining about female friendships
1- when we give too much too quick it’s never valued , give but with restriction with everyone eg friends , kids , lovers 2- if you wanna give , just give , without calculation 3- absolutely invest in yourself 4- look for a husband , a LT relationship 5- appreciate your husband , BF etc
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
Why don't you ask men what they think and how they feel? Ah, right, it's projection as usually: You know that men cannot rely on women's dating advice, so, you conclude that the opposite is also true.
Thank you Margarita! Exceptional content as always. Here are some topics I would like to see; 1. How to set boundaries with men. Everyone talks about having them, but I struggle with articulating them since I am a former people pleaser. 2. Topics to talk about on dates. 3. Repelling dusty men. 4. Radiating energy that you are a high value woman without having to say it. Or vibrating positive energy in general.
1 - put your cards on the table. My first time dating I couldn’t understand that she didn’t like something’s because she would always say things like “I’m not sure…”, “I don’t know…”, but one time she simply said in a calm manner “I don’t like this and that please stop” and I was finally able to understand. I don’t walk on eggshells with my friends, when they are doing something wrong or that I don’t like, I say they are jerks and should stop. 3 - I don’t think you can avoid them, but you can avoid going to places they go. 4 - Don’t talk bad about others behind their back, don’t be passive aggressive, dress respectfully, be respectful, don’t talk too loud, read books and be intelligent ( but be modest about your intelligence if you don’t want to sound arrogant and cocky), don’t talk to much about yourself, don’t play always the victim, be responsible, take care of your posture (honestly, it’s so attractive when woman have good posture), and don’t trash talk men, men and woman do have problems and hold grudges towards each other, but we should just keep it to ourselves and act reconciliatory. This is my personal opinion as a men, take it or leave it.
Found the simp😂 As a man, none of what she says resonates with me. It’s the same old new age woo woo self-love masturbatory bull that all these self-help woman gurus peddle to lonely and damaged women nowadays
@@snakegriffin4928 lol. Can't do anything about you being dead inside, bro. Didn't write this for approval or to get attention from a married woman (or you for that matter). I probably don't even approve of her value system. But what she was saying in that video made a lot of sense with respect to what degrees of freedom you have as a woman when looking for a man. Tell me one thing you don't agree with. E.g. as a woman trying to get a man enter a relationship with you is futile if the man doesn't freely choose to commit. That's his free will. Disney romanticism is not an automation. And women who think otherwise are narcissists. They may try to manipulate him (doing things, offering sex early / before marriage, ...), but it will backfire in one way or another.
But doing nothing at all won't make them notice you to begin with. Be reasonable and thoughtful about what you do, doing stuff because you want to not to impress them.
you're getting it all wrong. I'm a guy, if we like you like really like you then you doing more does indeed make us like you more. the issue is for some reason when its fucking obvious we don't like a girl like the girl. its pretty easy to tell where you stand with a guy if he texts u often, put effort into you if you put effort into him he likes you if not he doesnt like you simple. so if ur doing all that extra shit for a guy who cleslry doesnt fucking like you that just dumb. its like those guys stuck in the friendzone its dumb. if we like you and you dont do shit for us, eventually your gonna get left.
Hi, first time viewer as a man, and I have to say I agree completely with the perspective you are providing, and I think this video also be applied to the reverse. One has to value treat themselves with dignity and respect and everything will fall in its natural place accordingly. I want to offer my opinion on only the first point, and say a practical advice on how you can mitigate this problem without pain. In my case I have always been very generous and have helped others, often times on my own peril. I didn't use to have that much luck on the front of being appreciated for the things I have done for them. One trait, albeit a rare one from men, you should proactively look for, is a man that practices gratitude and holds near and dear the people in his life. If you surround yourself with people that are acknowledging and thankful of your presence, not only will you be seen as valuable, but full on amazing. But finding these kind of people, not only in relationships but in day to day life is not easy, especially because this trait is almost exclusive to intelligent people. How you view yourself is how the others view you. Keep doing what you are doing
Im a man and I don’t necessarily agree with this, you’re speaking of the unaware man. A man that practices self awareness observes and recognizes. He doesn’t need validation or approval from his partner cause he knows his worth and loves himself enough. A real man sees his partner objectively.
Ofcourse men like you must exist but the thing is there are so many guys who are immature and reckless when in their 20s. Finding the men who knows their self worth are very rare
Which is why the title mentioned in the 20s. And she's speaking on how women tend to get hurt in the 20s too. But if you're saying you're in your 20s then I must say you're great at being mature so young.
She mentioned what she wished she knew in her 20s. That doesn't say what the age of the men she is speaking about. Being self aware and knowing your value does not know age and by that I mean a man or woman can be self aware at a young age just as you can have someone who is never achieved self awareness and is 70, 80 or 120. And yes men and women can live to 120 if they take care of themselves.
I’m 27, somehow already figured out all of these and am dating older guys. But dating older guys requires high level of intelligence, patience and confidence. Guys in the 20s probably will do anything for you if you’re pretty and sweet. When they get older, they will have too many priorities in life (dating being one of them). The key is to have a fulfilled life for yourself regardless if you’re single or with someone.
"Doing more for them does not equal them valuing you more." That's been my exact same experience with women. In fact, women are still doing that to me right now as I speak.
May I ask if you're referring to doing more for the woman you're in a relationship with - or do you mean for women you're attracted to, and hoping to date by doing things for them? :)
Girl, you are spitting facts! All these things i did when I was younger. Trying to changa a guy into liking me, trying to make him more sure about me, spending more time on him instead of being busy with my stuff, ignoring the fact that my end point is marriage and many more.
I don’t usually comment but I’m in a healthy relationship he’s younger than me he said he was planning to get married in his 30’s but when he met me he completely felt that he is ready and working hard so we can get married next year❤️
As a man, I gotta tell you already the first one is wrong for the one you truly want to marry. A man who doesn't value you when you do more is not the man you want to be with in the first place. The man you want to spend the rest of your life with is the man you want to do more for and he WILL value you greatly for doing those things. Just because some men take these positive traits for granted does not mean you stop doing them, it means you need to find someone who will not take them for granted... The man you want to spend the rest of your life with is out there and by removing the positive feminine trait of doing things for your man, you disqualify yourself from him simply because he is a man who greatly values that trait in a woman. After all you don't want to be with just 'some' man, you want to be with 'the' man
I agree, but her point is to put yourself first, and do more for yourself than for any other. Also by doing more for yourself, you can give more, because you glass is overflowing, not empty:)
This really applies to anything in Life. As I move into the late twenties, I realize there are people and opportunities that are just the right fit for me, not because i put an enormous effort to it, but because we simply match
THANK you. Just had a weird vibe with my boyfriend over a year. He wanted space. I know everybody deserves space, I want that too. I got hurt when he first told me, but we hang everyday still. We both need time for our self. This put my mind to rest and made me more sure that it’s healthy. And that if he really loves me, he will come back
Things I'd love to see: - dealing with not fitting into societal beauty standards - how to know someone would make a good partner - how to balance motherhood and being a good partner (I am so scared of doing this wrong lol) - your parenting tips! (things you will do differently to how you were raised) - when do you think is a good age for marriage - things to consider before you agree to marriage thank you margarita, you're incred 🥰
Societal beauty standards as they are generally aren’t wrong to follow, the Instagram look is the wrong one to follow, with constant surgeries and fake angles and filters etc you get the idea. That is wrong, but a healthy and fit body is not.
I was apprehensive to listen to this kinda rolled my eyes at the title. But boy was I surprised. Super, super solid advice. Done most all of this and had absolutely amazing relationships.
Great content. This applies to many things in my experience. People just don’t appreciate effort. IIt often leads to sabotage and jealousy with platonic relationships: work colleagues, friends, acquaintances, other women and sometimes men, family even. At this point, I realise it’s human nature. You’re right. Valuing yourself and putting a premium on your time makes not just men, but other people value you. Had a situation with a friend recently who was being uber demanding with endless caveats about meeting - at her behest- in the end I cancelled. I didn’t feel good in my body. Don’t service people who don’t appreciate you or respect you enough/ at all, even if you feel lonely and need company. Value yourself. Things will get better in the right way.
As a guy I would add a thing to the point you made about giving hints. Just giving a smile, looking at me for a bit longer than usual, or saying I look good in something, still wouldn't necessarily make me think you are romantically interested in me. That could still just be basic human kindness, you being nice without any added meaning. If a girl is not giving me huge "airplane landing" signs, I'm not going to risk making a move and potentially make her feel awkward, uncomfortable or creeped out. Especially in today's world where I could face significant social damage for trying to chat up the wrong girl.
What do you mean by social damage? Your too fearful. Best way to go is be friendly with no expectations. Be friends first! Ask the Lord to help you navigate today's murky dating pool.
@@danilaroche1156 you forgot about social media with the "MeToo" movement and people getting "Canceled". not unrelated, these days new laws against harassment are being created frequently, despite women already being able to screw up a man's life with mere accusations. a side effect is that in such a climate, the risk of making a move is much higher. also don't just assume that everyone is religious
Not assuming people are religious but God works for me. I still think people are too fearful these days. A man can speak to a lady and be polite yet show interest. We cannot live in FEAR. That's not living. I'll say it again, we all need the Lord.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
Number 2 is so true. As a man (20 yrs old), I met this girl who was 'ready to marry' and did everything for me without knowing what she wanted. I thought it was really great for me, but as time went by, I felt like I was the only one pushing the relationship forward. Eventually, we worked together to help her focus on her passions. She eventually felt happy with herself and became busy, which made me admire her more. She eventually broke up with me after our passions basically conflicted with mine, but because of that, we're still great friends till this day. And by the time I got to my new girlfriend who was really into psychology, I learned after that that I should look for women who actually have passions and have strong thought out opinions. So yeah. She's right. Value yourself and work on yourself.
As a man, I do not agree with point 1 & 2, as I think these apply for egotistic people either man or women. For the rest, girls listen to the lady she holds the truth
I think balance and nuance are needs for points 1 & 2. There's a certain amount of work and effort that needs to be put into a relationship from both sides, but past a certain point, putting more work and effort will not bring any gain. A guy will not appreciate a girl that does absolutely nothing, but he also won't appreciate a girl that goes absolutely overboard.
So spot on! I wish I could go back to my 20’s and follow these! But seriously I hope all women in their 20’s LISTEN and follow this. Although I follow my career I still wanted love so often put myself through so much more heart ache instead of really choosing myself.
You can choose to have a family or grind in the rat race. You can focus on your baby and your husband or in your degree/career... You can't have the cake and eat it too at the same time... If you try doing that the outcome will be a divorce.
@@joaoportugal8618You CAN have a career and have children. Haven't men done it for centuries? It works if BOTH juggle it. It's not easy having kids and working but in this economy if a woman can also provide financially then great! People need to stop thinking only men can do it. If both women and men worked as a team they would be able to have some career AND take care of the kids.
As a man, I pretty much agree with everything you said. The one exception is the reason you stated as to why men see themselves as more valuable when given favors or shown acts of kindness. I don’t think it’s malicious - I just think men don’t get as much affection or validation as women do when growing up or on a day to day basis. Being given a favor is a form of indirect validation. And it can be addictively gratifying to be on the receiving end of something for people who don’t experience validation often. Edit: I also want to state that the outcome of a man viewing only himself better and not viewing the woman who does him a favor as more valuable only applies if he’s not attracted to her. Otherwise, if he is attracted to her, then he’ll value both her and himself more.
As you point out, women don’t understand how indifferent society is to men (no one cares whether a man succeeds or dies, but if he’s going to die just do it where no one has to listen to him suffer). So that makes your attention gold for him. This video confuses “doing nice things for him” and “smothering him”-the first is great, the second is terrible. But when you invest in him, see if he invests in you. If not, cut back.
I disagree somewhat. Men do get validation in society (a lot more than women). Their accomplishments are more valued than women, what they have to say is taken more seriously. It’s a bit of a catch 22 because while men receive less affection, they’re also more coddled (not all). It seems both can be true at the same time (ie. Less affection from dad, coddled by mom) at varying degrees depending on a person’s specific circumstances. I think men probably do experience less social warmth in certain settings where they’re unfamiliar to people; because men are more often perceived as a threat than women. (And conversely, women are more often perceived as possible prey ). It’s not something I would describe as an indifference toward men, but more like an instinctive defensive measure that comes from living as a woman and being aware that you are seen as prey, or someone who can be easily overpowered and taken advantage of and the fear and survival instinct that comes with that. It’s very interesting learning about and comparing the different experiences of the genders moving through life. Hopefully it helps us understand each other more.
@@OMGitsShrimp Disagree. How are men’s accomplishments validated more? That seems like a stretch. Nobody really cares unless you’re uber successful, and that’s because you’re successful, or attractive, or people want something from you. Nobody celebrates the average man, the hardworking men who keep our societies afloat. They’re criminally under appreciated. Women seem to employ the apex fallacy a lot when viewing and talking about men I’ve noticed.
Omg the story that you're telling me is so direct, and sharp. Especially, there're some points that I learned from my first bf are similar to what you're saying.
"Who makes him feel like the man he wants to be" So true! As for point 2 I think it's true but there should be a healthy balance between time for yourself whilst also spending quality time.
WOW… it costed me a breakup, but I finally got to this video, and everything you said makes sense and you said it with so much ease… that’s a lot of wisdom right there… THANK YOU
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, I am much much better now… time and giving things to God really did make a difference in my healing journey ❤️🥹 I hope i maintain this knowledge now that I know it, and I wish that any girl learns this without having to go through tough times to get there 🫠
30 year old married man here. Definitely that first and second point are so true. I respect my wife so much because she does things for herself, whether to relax, socially, or for career advancement.
I don't ever want to think this hard about men ever again. This is just way too much. He either likes me and does good by me or doesnt, meanwhile i just go about life being myself without having to think about it. :)
I like this tone of voice of yours so much better - calm, paced, soothing... I follow you from TikTok. I listen to your message but you have a very different tone of voice on there (a bit more agressive, forward). I'm grateful that you put all this content out there. You're one of my looked up to "big sister" content creators. 💜
This was such a refreshing perspective-it’s like the advice I wish someone had given me years ago! The point about 'hard to get but easy to be with' really struck a chord. It’s so true that being a confident, playful version of yourself, instead of running yourself ragged trying to please someone, shifts the entire dynamic. What are your thoughts on balancing that playful energy with deeper conversations about long-term goals early in a relationship? I’d love to hear your take on navigating that without overwhelming the other person. Also, love your delivery-makes these insights so relatable!
“Spicy” is great advice In “confidence” saying I want a long term relationship too much and very early on signals you haven’t been able to be in one despite trying and makes you look less desirable
How are women the prize? Men must earn their value. The definition of value is different for men and women. Women are valued for their beauty and men for their ability to protect and provide. Women are born with value. There is plenty of beautiful women but a shortage of high value successful males. Just because you say you are the prize does not change the facts.
@@leonh2044 bs women are born with a uterus that's it highly desirable women have other good trails too how they speak how they move how intelligent they are without that no they wouldn't be high value beside men have to work and earn to get a women how one gonna work for something while being the prize you earn the prize
@leonh2044 well you just answered your own question; women are born with value..what i am trying to highlight is that women should work on themselves too. They want to be claimed and "conquered" thats what I mean by prize
@044 Who are they earning value for though? Lots of beautiful women for sure but it is not about just being beautiful. If you are unlucky enough just to be plain or below average you are working to gain that value in society lol. Yet the goal is to be a well rounded women(fit, good partner, intelligent, potential to be good mother etc). When you ask men if it easy to find that they say no especially now. You are missing one little piece of the puzzle. If women weren't prized in some way men would not feel the need to put themselves above all other competition to get the prized women in their eyes. Goes both ways.
@@leonh2044 because men compete for women. Women do not compete for men, unless he is of an extremely high caliber, which is rare. You said it yourself, women have inherent value, and men have to build themselves. Thus beautiful, kind women are the "prize" that is rewarded to hard working men
I'm 17,just had a huge heartbreak, never thought I'd ever go through this. He's a 20year old and I expected some love and care atleast. He prioritised himself,i didn't,that was the issue. I just know he's not the one. He disrespected me so much that i never considered it as a disrespect and I'm so glad he himself initiated the break up and I'm glad I'm putting myself first finally after so many contact breaking and begging. It was indeed a lesson.
The thing about putting time into yourself is so real though. It goes the other way around too, ppl in general are so much more attractive when they are put together. Confidence is attractive.
“Maybe sometimes you are the problem. Let people be who they are and don’t try to change them” this is so real. I was just journaling earlier and I was like “it seems like every guy I like doesn’t want me back or they’re not ready for a relationship” but they literally tell me straight up and I like try to prove that I’m “cool” and worthy enough WOWW. Thank you for this video! I love TH-cam . I’m 23 I kind of just starting dating so I have a lot to learn and that’s okay 🥰
Hi margarita, I would like a video on How to balance doing for a man and not doing with practical examples. How do you know if you're giving too much? When you naturally want to make him feel good and appreciated and show your love?
You mentioned how it could be an ego issue-- "how can this guy possibly not like me? Now let me prove to him my value" -- when it comes to letting go of a guy who just isn't sure about you. What are some things we could do to resolve that ego issue? Perhaps there are practices we can implement at the time we're thinking that or practices we can try when we're not involved with anyone romantically. It sounds so easy to just say "let that man go" but in reality, we all know how hard it is.
watching this as a young man. lots of truth in here. i see a lot of these points as applicable to both men and women. also as applicable outside of romantic relationships as well. i think the biggest overarching point i took from this is that individuals are individuals. working on and with the self is ultimately what’s important in affecting the self and the world. behavior that is too selfish or selfless is not respecting the self nor anyone else i’ve always been a bit of an outcast. i’m trying to understand people better. i’ve watched people but never really involved myself. videos like these are helpful, thank you
i also want to say it scares me that i will get into a relationship with the wrong woman. i know this is everyone’s fear, man or woman. one thing i’ve seen is that women enjoy when a man is calm and knows how to defuse bad situations. as i’ve gotten more involved with women, i’ve realized that i want that exact same quality from them
Margarita, I have been a fan of your channel for a week (since pretty soon). But you explain and describe in a very clear and well way and I would like to thank you for this channel and for your self improvement which you share in a very meaningful way with us! ❤
Am 50 and can verify all of these very well articulated truths which I had to figure out by painful experience. Just wish someone had tied me to a chair when I was 30 and made me watch this like a 100 times so it would sink in before so much time was wasted 🙂
If these are news to you or you had to be almost 50 to understand these obvious things that most men already know, then you were pretty stupid to begin with.
As a young 23 year old woman exploring my femininity and dating for the first since getting out of a long term relationship, your videos have been absolute GOLD, Margarita!🌟 I wish I knew this a year ago, but I'm also accepting that some things you just have to experience for yourself and learn from. Thank you for being a "virtual" big sister to many woman out there because, even in my short time on this earth lol, everything you said rings so true, especially the part about giving more to a man and thinking he will value us more. I thought the more I give, then how could he not want to be with me, right? But no, I've learned it's about respecting your boundaries and not being so available to every beckoning call is what really makes people respect you and your time (not just in romantic relationships, but platonic ones) as well. Love hearing your wisdom 💖
Yet to love the guest interviews as much as i love these videos. These are so much relevant to me and informative at the moment. - topics i would like to hear from you- - decentering men/ partner - how to work on limerence reg the idea of a man. I walked out of a relation that dint serve me cus he is all that yu outline about men being focussed on themselves.. but there are more times in the day that i think of what we could have been and have mental conversations with him.. he is still in my thought and energy and i want to clear this for good. - how to remember to focus on your self worth- i know you talk a lot about this but its tough to remember this when yu need it the most - how to declutter your mind to focus on things that matter - do more of the responses to questions that are sent to you. You are brilliant Margarita! You keep saying following those whom you would like to be, and id like to be like you! The confident, sorted in the head, know when to let in and let Go.. lastly- i love your metaphors and analogies.. keep them coming!
Yeah, I want the most epic roller coaster! Yeah, we can handle it. Then you get on, and the roller coaster starts inching up, to the very top. And then, when you’re at the very top and the roller coaster finally starts to crest, and things finally, you know, start getting real, your stomach drops. And at that moment, you’re still hopeful, but you tell yourself: "Holy shit, what did I get myself into? What the fuck is this? Why did I ever agree to this?" That’s exactly what’s happening with God and humans. We’re putting ourselves in these situations, living through them, and it feels horrible, but also kind of exhilarating and fun. It’s like the ultimate virtual reality - a virtual reality where your own life is on the line.
So to sum up the underlying key ingredient here from this video that I see is: To love yourself first. Devote time to yourself first. Devote to things *you* like to do. Have a sense of self and build your own self esteem. Have a life *outside* of men. Men should not be the center of your world but can be a part of it. Be playful. Do not give MORE of yourself to a man who does not deserve it.
This type of videos, I just run to the comments section to read a summary and close the video but yours really hooked me from the start and watched till the end.. Great advice with brutal honesty 👍🏻 definitely subscribing
Man is not just extreme pleasure. Man is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly man.
I read "once you create a pros and cons list, youre already out the door." Its okay to leave, its okay to start over. You're incredible, you are amazing! You can be single and you are going to thrive!
I'm 27 and I've been through it. she is speaking straight facts, she literally hit the nail on the coffin. Only way you will find the right man who will respect you and cherish you is by loving yourself and putting yourself first.
no wonder y'all are single
Yo! Easy there mate must be tired regulating unasked opinions @@Trev-h1j
Everyone should be putting themselves first, that’s how you maintain yourself lol
It’s not new information.. if you don’t put yourself first you will be depressed and disappointed
@@Trev-h1jI’m actually not, but you probably are
@@R3d_cam3llia-wn2tpwomen are conditioned to be the only ones looking out for others
As a man, all I can say is that there is an incredibly immense amount of information that I learned about both myself and the way I should think about how I interact with the women in my life from this video. Thank you for sharing, this video is NOT just for women, guys we can learn from this too. Here's to everyone in the comments section becoming better partners all around, I wish you all the best of luck in your dating lives.
High five Nate!
Aw this is sweet
Well said, Nate 🙌🏾
So what have you learned from this video and how will it make you a batter partner? How did it change your mind?
Is there something you found particularly informative?
I'm curious to know what the difference between a male perspective and a female perspective on this issue is.
What in the blank hell are you talking about. youre just tyring to appeal to women lol your didnt learn a thing. This is just predatory behaviour.
6:20 "you make me feel safe" is one of the most heartwarming compliments I could get from a woman. I'd want her to feel like I truly love her and care about her wellbeing. Instant protector mode turns on.
you're a rare breed
Aw my boyfriend loves that compliment too
@@FruityHachi not really tho, we're out there fs lol
@@nexcerebprocursos7451 I don't doubt that you're out there, but I just never encountered such a man starting with my father
Where??@@nexcerebprocursos7451
a relationship is not the calculation of who gives more or less, the value he gives you is correlated to the way he likes you that's all, but it is time to realize that love should not be a give and take of values...otherwise it's no longer love.
What you're talking about is conditional love. We need unconditional love in a truly loving relationship, for sure.
@@bwingbwinggwiyomi Doesn't exist, if you really think about it.
@@KritikanbringerNot true. I know unconditional love exists because I feel it for my family
@@justsomeone4229 And if they didn't meet the condition of being genetically related to you, would you still love them? ^^
@@KritikanbringerIf you didn't meet the condition of being alive, would you be writing this nitpicky comment?
My boyfriend of 4 years and I recently broke up. He said that he needed space and freedom, he needed more time with his friends and he wanted to experience more, while the fact is he spent all day with his friends and prioritized them over me, so I gave him what he wanted. My heart was broken into pieces when I said I want to break up, but I definitely didn't feel any regret saying it because deep down, I know that I'm doing the right thing. Those days after breakup, he felt a little regret accepting to break up with me and tried to spend more time with me, but I don't see it as love or show any signs that I want him back. Anyway, for any broken heart out there, please be brave to step out of one's life who doesn't need you. Baby you deserves to be loved and cared by a man who wants you, not a boy who is just affected by fcking high testosterone and doesn't really know what he wants in life.
Girl, same
Could have gotten married if you gave him what he wanted. That was a critical moment for you and you fumbled.
You took matters into your own hands and broke up instead of giving him what he wanted and seeing where it went. You have expectations of how a relationship should look like, but since you are not married he had every right to ask for time away to think things through.
Chanced are he would have come back to you and loved you deeper than you can imagine but you threw that opportunity away
4 years down the drain because of hastily making a decision from an emotional perspective instead of giving him his space to map out his future with you
And also, you're just a girl who also don't know what you want in life. Most people don't if they are honest with themselves. Our identities and ideas evolve over time and we should be gentle and patient with ourselves and one another to allow those evolutions to take place.
Best of luck to you.
@@M3DIT4TEYou're delusional. She realized she wasn't being prioritized and put an end to it to safeguard her own time. She absolutely did the right thing.
@@M3DIT4TE i bet the dude was hanging out with friends more for maybe like a month tops and this girl still came to such a drastic conclusion after 4 years.
lmao
Bruh you wasted 4 years ? Wow...
*The one who is meant for you encourages you to be your best, but still loves and accepts you at your worst.*
Exactly. Some women are clueless about their own behaviour
@@bojack3827👏👏
@theformidabletruthno woman would do that.
Oh God! Not another quote by M. Monroe again? When will this moronic cliche finally wear out?
Why would anyone want to accept you at your worst? Do you cuddle a serial killer when he goes on a rampage? Do you give a hug to psychopath who just burned you house?
How about instead of bursting into emotional diarrhea that is likely to hurt people around you, you try to control your emotions and take the accountability for your actions like a mature, responsible, rational adult?
So basically it's your mom
I’m a 22 year old woman and I’m so grateful for my online big sisters teaching me how to not get scammed by men! ❤❤❤❤
"Online big sisters" love this! Wish I would have known these things myself at that age as well. Now they are just my "smarter sisters"! Haha
Youll full of shit
If you complain you only make my point stronger, all this is beyond schizophrenia and delusion, good luck
You are so lucky I wish TH-cam was a thing in the 1990’s! I was scammed at 20 with a narcissist McDonald eating freak! So young to go through all that bull! He knew exactly what he was doing ! I was a stranger in my own life.
Enjoy being single or divorced in your 30's and 40´s.
Your daughter is so lucky to have a wise and strong mum like you to teach her how to be an amazing woman ❤
I was thinking the same thing!
As a man she is correct. Getting a lot of attention/availability from a low value woman does not make her more valuable and it makes her look even cheaper. True, no spicy, salty women, be as feminine and easy going as possible - easy does not mean hook ups. Too many women are chasing chads that care nothing for them - and they still do the hookups and situationships and wonder why the marriage offer is not there.
Single mom?
@@snakegriffin4928 Nope, she's still married.
So she can screw her head with this garbage information 😂
You could be the perfect package and still arrive at the wrong address. Take the advices but don’t rely on the things you do for a person to want you. As good as the advices were what people forget is that we have no control over someone liking us or to commit to us ultimately it’s their choice. We can’t manipulate it or outsmart it. What we can do is be the best version of ourselves.
I always go straight for your channel when I’m mid-crisis and it always gives the goods - thank you!
1. Men value themselves more only when you go out of the way to do things for them. They do not value you more for this.
2. Invest more in yourself than you do in him and as a result he will see you as more valuable.
3. men want to feel like the man they want to be through your eyes. have opinions of your own, but be soft towards them & appreciate them.
4. men want you to be unavailable because of your fun life (hard to get), and be playful, fun and youthful (easy to be with). say what you need to say so you don’t resent him in his presence.
5. men want to be with confident women. know your worth. also: if they want to they will, if they don’t they won’t. if he’s not sure, you shouldn’t be either. follow his lead.
6. when he needs space, closing the gap will make even a good guy run. healthy relationships need space. he wants to see you in your power too.
7. when someone shows you who they are, believe them. accept people for who they are. trying to change them means you do not love them as they are.
8. pick the man, don’t let the man pick you. a woman must invite a man so he can get close.
9. looks is not all there is. values are.
10. sleeping with him only makes you more attached. emotional attachment is what keeps a man, so only sleep with him when you’re genuinely ready.
Thank you for summarizing all 10 points! Was just looking for this ❤
1. Doing more for man does not equal them valuing you more!
2. Valuing yourself first and putting yourself first does makes man value you.
3. Man does not want a spicy fight, they want a woman who will make him see himself as incredible man, you make him feels like the wayy he want to be. Secure attachment, I am an interesting woman with opinion.
4. It's about I am hard to get but easy to be with. I maintain playfulness....I cannot be contacted often.
I have a builded life.
5. If I am confident I will be attracted to him.
1. Doing more for man does not equal them valuing you more!
2. Valuing yourself first and putting yourself first does makes man value you.
3. Man does not want a spicy fight, they want a woman who will make him see himself as incredible man, you make him feels like the wayy he want to be. Secure attachment, I am an interesting woman with opinion.
4. It's about I am hard to get but easy to be with. I maintain playfulness....I cannot be contacted often.
I have a builded life.
5. If I am confident I will be attracted to him.
6. If he is not ready and I am not his type I leave it!
7. If he is not sure about us I am not sure!
8. Young man are not ready for the relationship that I need.
9. When he needs space or run away, I am letting him go. I am closing the gap.
10. Let people be who they are and I won't try to change them.😊
femina-zi.
Thank you so much ❤
I completely agree with the looks thing!! When he looks like a 10 (in your eyes), but you end up providing for him, working two jobs to cover your bills and his bills, paying for 99% of all baby items because he can’t, and then telling you he can’t put in more hours because he needs his rest and relaxation on the weekends, he looks like a 0 REAL quick.
Twice I’ve dated men because of their looks, twice I have learned that lesson. I think being physically attracted to him is an absolute must, but he def doesn’t need to look like a 10, he’ll be a 10 in your eyes soon enough base on how he treats you and provide for you.
Men are commissioned to provide & protect women. It's biblical. Women are to be helpmate to spouse.
@@beraudmusic Women are NOT men. Men have more energy and physical power than women. Men are more ambitious and outspoken than women. Men aren't nice just to be nice like women. Therefore, men who are in their "divine feminine" need to stay away from manipulating women to be a man, and admit to themselves that they're feminine, get out of the closet, and get with a man instead! The woman working 2 jobs will never respect that man and will resent him because deep down she knows she's not living her natural role!
Have you ever seen a feminine woman who knows what she's all about end up with a feminine man with 0 ambition? No! They naturally repel each other.
Reminds me of a quote I read once: It doesn't matter how good looking or charming a man is; some woman out there is sick and tired of his bullshit.
@@beraudmusicBecause as women, we can bring way more to the table. A man can make a house, but women make it a home. Majority of men were raised to learn how to make money. Girls were taught how to clean, cook, shop, garden & take care of family members. If a man isn't working, what skills is he equipped with to make the house a home? Not speaking for all men or all women but it's just the norm.
@@beraudmusic Literally who said this tho
In addition: I always say “the best gift you can give a man is giving him a reason to get up in the morning.” Men thrive when they have responsibility and experience self-efficacy. Entrusting him to take care of things while being supportive will make him feel like a capable man and appreciate you as the woman by his side.
The woman Always taking care of everything won’t make him feel like the strong, capable man he wants to be and it won’t make him appreciate you more.
Yes, you are actually correct. Men need a purpose. And it's hard to find one without a family. That's why so many men have gone to war voluntarily. Because it gives you a purpose. That's the single most solid advice.
I think you're not understanding men at all actually.
You should definitely want to date a mature man that does things and has his shit figured out but you need to match the effort.
If the effort in the relationship isn't 50/50 eventually the mature man will feel underappreciated and will 100% leave you if he has any self-respect.
@@bambuco2 who said I don’t do my part?
It’s kinda crazy how nobody’s talking about the book Women’s Magic Truths on Borlest.
You are nobody?
37 and she speaks the TRUTH!! I've seen enough divorces in my 30s from my friends that got married in their 20s where the relationship was based in her giving, giving, giving, pleasing and he just accepted it, then when they started focusing on themselves, the men got controlling or entitled. Fuck that. Develop yourself and the right guy who is also interested in self development will follow you
Yes, all relationships ended as soon as women started taking extra care of their partner or becoming completely dependent on themselves.... Men hate those women who care more .....
Valentina is very lucky to have a mother like you. So wise and maternal.
What cause she talks rubbish?
Dropping truth bombs left and right and I’m here for it. As a gal in her 30s and finally in a great relationship after kissing a lot of frogs I couldn’t agree more esp the last one. If the guy shows you who he is, that’s who he is! No more interpretation needed! The wrong man will never be ready for you and we got no time to waste!
A lot of frogs for me tho😅😅😂
Exactly
Finally you lowered your standards and settled for less.
I really want a suggestion rn
So me (23) and my partner (26) are in relationship from 9 months we almost live together ... he told me during our frndship and dating time that he completed his graduation and quit the chartered accountant course in the final stage ( there are 3 stages, final is the last stage ) bc he thought it is not worth it ( two years ago) , he isn't working rn and doesn't like doing job or anything , he wants to learning trading ( which he is good at ) and not interested in studies...
And he promised 2 of his friends that he would write their exam on behalf of them and took some money to help one of his friends mom hospital bill... and I did support and help him in all these things .... ( iam pursing chartered accountant final exam ) .. we both failed in those exams which we wrote unfortunately ( my exam and his friends exam ) ..
So last week he left for a marriage to attend ..so I snooped into his laptop .. turns out he didn't even complete the second stage of chartered accountant course , .. he is been lying to me since 9 months... ( he once told me that he have to tell me something important but he needs good timing to tell ) there were a lot of circumstances which he could have possibly told me that secret ( nobody knows that he didn't finish it , he lied to everyone ) , iam feeling betrayed , used , manipulated, deceived, ,... I unable to trust him anymore .. I confronted him ... he told me that he was used to that lie .. and didn't have courage to tell me .he feels sorry .. and guilty .. but wants one last chance ... I feel like I don't know this person at all .. what should I do? .. ( besides this I know he loves me and I love him too, but I donot trust him )
@@alphabeta3105 That's not what she said at all
When you are with a man who does not have the capacity to match you and meet your needs, and he feels your normal effort as “too much” and starts to see you with less value; don’t be like me instead just move on. Had a man who was too immature to realize the “effort” I was showing was what grown people do like the ability to time manage and show up on time. The man for you will see your value even if you make dating blunders. The man not for you will make you feel insecure with their immaturity and inconsistency because they aren’t that into you but want the benefits. A man who is not at your level and doesn’t see you worthy of stepping up, he will try to acclimate you to bare minimum. Don’t lower yourself. A man who is not ready or emotionally unavailable will kill your soul so walk away. No matter what age you are take the advice from this video and make smarter choices. Good luck out there ladies.
Love this comment!
I love love love your comment! ❤❤❤ Big hug and thanks from İstanbul, Turkey 🫶🏼🧿
I agree!! I walked away from a relationship with a man that viewed my consistent/giving nature as “weak” and desperate. When in reality I was communicating and putting effort like a normal adult I didn’t even go overboard. He was just emotionally unavailable (which is hell btw - RUN!!) so he viewed availability as desperation. I left because I need a man who matches and appreciates my energy.
@user-rx7uh9mg4f Nah, I don't think it's emotional unavailability. I think he just wasn't into you.
And that's ok. Most bf/gf relationships end anyway and are to watch if you two are compatible or not. You're looking for a communicative man who is giving & he prefers a more independent assertive woman.
That's fine. It doesn't make someone mentally ill to not like you anymore.
THIS THIS THIS.
*It's amazing how much clarity you gain as you get older.*
Topics I'd like to see:
1. Protect energy from low vibrational men
2. How to communicate your value/boundaries silently.
3. Decenter men. Center yourself
I would love to hear about the first one.
2.
yesss center your yourselfff
Decentering. Absolutely!!!
Decenter men, center yourself...ohh how I felt proud asserting this❤❤❤
“How to find, select and manage female friendships, that can last forever“
yes, adult friendship is hard. I love my girls but I'm so afraid to reach out and be a burden.
thats because girls friendships are more "fake" and superficial . and they rarely last a lifetime .
you tell to each other how great you are etc .
then go and steal each others boyfriends or talk badly about each other behind each others backs .
whereas men banter and call each other names but we are also not affraid to tell straight facts to each other -
like if i think my bro is in a bad place or he is fat or drinking too much or whatever it may be i straight up tell him .
i´m very selective when it comes to real friends , i have many "friends (acquaintances)" but only 2 "brothers" i have known since childhood
and even if we don´t see each other often when one of us needs help we drop everything and go help him (and it happened few times in our lives) .
on topic: the problem is that girls these days don´t want to date good guys .
you go for good looking bad boys who play around and then wonder why it didn´t work out .
another problem is that you all think you are 10s these days and an absolute price to be had .
you are chasing after top 5-10% of men but those will not settle for you and they will only play games ...
it´s not rocket science to figure it all out - just date normal average looking guys and you will be happy in life
(but i guess thats boring)
the normal guy is really simple , he is happy for a good wife -
he only wants peace and someone who is pleasant to be around , and loyal (not cheating) .
the rest are superficial things that can be easily solved with some communication ...
@@frank_sawyerStop lying men are going through a male loneliness epidemic. Focus on your own relationships with other lonely males and stop whining about female friendships
1- when we give too much too quick it’s never valued , give but with restriction with everyone eg friends , kids , lovers
2- if you wanna give , just give , without calculation
3- absolutely invest in yourself
4- look for a husband , a LT relationship
5- appreciate your husband , BF etc
Number 1 and 2 contradict each other 😅
“Be yourself!!”
“Don’t give him too much because he will take it for granted!”
Really? 🙄
@@msalexxa2012women and logic doesnt work. At least in the case of those femcels. God bless their poor souls.
Great video! Unfortunately, my two-year relationship ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, and I still love him deeply. I can't stop thinking about him. I've done everything I can to get him back, but nothing has worked. I'm frustrated and can't imagine my life with anyone else. Despite my best efforts, I can't get him out of my mind. I really miss him.
It's incredibly hard to let go of someone you love. I was in a similar situation when my twelve-year relationship ended. I couldn't let him go, so I did everything I could to get him back. I sought the help of a spiritual counselor, who assisted me in reuniting with him.
That's amazing! How did you find a spiritual counselor, and how can I reach him?
His name is Fatherabulu, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can help bring your ex back.
Thank you for this valuable information! I just looked him up online, and he seems impressive.
One video that helped me alot a month ago and what I highly reccomend is a yt video from Lumma Aziz named ”How to REALLY get over a heartbreak”.
The fact we get this advice for free. You’re doing gods work 💞
She's a doll. Love her.
Why don't you ask men what they think and how they feel? Ah, right, it's projection as usually: You know that men cannot rely on women's dating advice, so, you conclude that the opposite is also true.
@@Kritikanbringermen would only say stuff that will benefit them. Only women can understand women's struggles
@@Ariadne4 there will probably be some bias as everyone has their own interests. but that doesn't mean it has to be an extreme bias. don't just assume
Thank you Margarita! Exceptional content as always. Here are some topics I would like to see;
1. How to set boundaries with men. Everyone talks about having them, but I struggle with articulating them since I am a former people pleaser.
2. Topics to talk about on dates.
3. Repelling dusty men.
4. Radiating energy that you are a high value woman without having to say it. Or vibrating positive energy in general.
I second these!
1 - put your cards on the table.
My first time dating I couldn’t understand that she didn’t like something’s because she would always say things like “I’m not sure…”, “I don’t know…”, but one time she simply said in a calm manner “I don’t like this and that please stop” and I was finally able to understand. I don’t walk on eggshells with my friends, when they are doing something wrong or that I don’t like, I say they are jerks and should stop.
3 - I don’t think you can avoid them, but you can avoid going to places they go.
4 - Don’t talk bad about others behind their back, don’t be passive aggressive, dress respectfully, be respectful, don’t talk too loud, read books and be intelligent ( but be modest about your intelligence if you don’t want to sound arrogant and cocky), don’t talk to much about yourself, don’t play always the victim, be responsible, take care of your posture (honestly, it’s so attractive when woman have good posture), and don’t trash talk men, men and woman do have problems and hold grudges towards each other, but we should just keep it to ourselves and act reconciliatory.
This is my personal opinion as a men, take it or leave it.
Confused man here... what exactly is a 'dusty man'
Yeah we need to talk these topics ,they're very important 😍
@@bro918 a man who works manual labor
As a man, I approve of this based and thought and experience soaked advice. Listen to this ladies! She's speaking facts.
Thank you for validating her points
Thank you!
only a simp with no value and full of hypocrisy can say this
Found the simp😂
As a man, none of what she says resonates with me.
It’s the same old new age woo woo self-love masturbatory bull that all these self-help woman gurus peddle to lonely and damaged women nowadays
@@snakegriffin4928 lol. Can't do anything about you being dead inside, bro. Didn't write this for approval or to get attention from a married woman (or you for that matter). I probably don't even approve of her value system. But what she was saying in that video made a lot of sense with respect to what degrees of freedom you have as a woman when looking for a man. Tell me one thing you don't agree with. E.g. as a woman trying to get a man enter a relationship with you is futile if the man doesn't freely choose to commit. That's his free will. Disney romanticism is not an automation. And women who think otherwise are narcissists. They may try to manipulate him (doing things, offering sex early / before marriage, ...), but it will backfire in one way or another.
Take it from experience-Not only will doing more for them not make them value you more, it will actually make them value you less. Scarcity principle.
But doing nothing at all won't make them notice you to begin with. Be reasonable and thoughtful about what you do, doing stuff because you want to not to impress them.
this is true if you go with the bad boy, a real man appreciate woman effort for him and reciprocate
you're getting it all wrong. I'm a guy, if we like you like really like you then you doing more does indeed make us like you more. the issue is for some reason when its fucking obvious we don't like a girl like the girl. its pretty easy to tell where you stand with a guy if he texts u often, put effort into you if you put effort into him he likes you if not he doesnt like you simple. so if ur doing all that extra shit for a guy who cleslry doesnt fucking like you that just dumb. its like those guys stuck in the friendzone its dumb. if we like you and you dont do shit for us, eventually your gonna get left.
As a man, that is totally bullshit.
That’s not true for men who truly value that lol. That’s only for the fuckbois.
Hands down, I'm 32 and empirically been there. This is a gold mine for all the girlies just getting out there. Listen and take notes.
Hi, first time viewer as a man, and I have to say I agree completely with the perspective you are providing, and I think this video also be applied to the reverse. One has to value treat themselves with dignity and respect and everything will fall in its natural place accordingly.
I want to offer my opinion on only the first point, and say a practical advice on how you can mitigate this problem without pain. In my case I have always been very generous and have helped others, often times on my own peril. I didn't use to have that much luck on the front of being appreciated for the things I have done for them.
One trait, albeit a rare one from men, you should proactively look for, is a man that practices gratitude and holds near and dear the people in his life. If you surround yourself with people that are acknowledging and thankful of your presence, not only will you be seen as valuable, but full on amazing. But finding these kind of people, not only in relationships but in day to day life is not easy, especially because this trait is almost exclusive to intelligent people.
How you view yourself is how the others view you. Keep doing what you are doing
Be hard to get (have a busy life) but easy to be with.
So simple and spot on 👌
Be single forever.
Lol ok 😂
Im a man and I don’t necessarily agree with this, you’re speaking of the unaware man. A man that practices self awareness observes and recognizes. He doesn’t need validation or approval from his partner cause he knows his worth and loves himself enough. A real man sees his partner objectively.
Ofcourse men like you must exist but the thing is there are so many guys who are immature and reckless when in their 20s. Finding the men who knows their self worth are very rare
Which is why the title mentioned in the 20s. And she's speaking on how women tend to get hurt in the 20s too. But if you're saying you're in your 20s then I must say you're great at being mature so young.
Are you single?
She mentioned what she wished she knew in her 20s. That doesn't say what the age of the men she is speaking about. Being self aware and knowing your value does not know age and by that I mean a man or woman can be self aware at a young age just as you can have someone who is never achieved self awareness and is 70, 80 or 120. And yes men and women can live to 120 if they take care of themselves.
Girl calm down@@funtimes3962
I’m 27, somehow already figured out all of these and am dating older guys. But dating older guys requires high level of intelligence, patience and confidence. Guys in the 20s probably will do anything for you if you’re pretty and sweet. When they get older, they will have too many priorities in life (dating being one of them). The key is to have a fulfilled life for yourself regardless if you’re single or with someone.
"Doing more for them does not equal them valuing you more."
That's been my exact same experience with women. In fact, women are still doing that to me right now as I speak.
Women learn best from men. Didn't you know ?
May I ask if you're referring to doing more for the woman you're in a relationship with - or do you mean for women you're attracted to, and hoping to date by doing things for them? :)
Yeah most of these have nothing to do with gender and have more to do with avoidant attachment and fear
Most of what she's saying goes for anybody of any sex.
@@nzingahoneythat’s a lie, most women don’t listen to most men.
Girl, you are spitting facts! All these things i did when I was younger. Trying to changa a guy into liking me, trying to make him more sure about me, spending more time on him instead of being busy with my stuff, ignoring the fact that my end point is marriage and many more.
I don’t usually comment but I’m in a healthy relationship he’s younger than me he said he was planning to get married in his 30’s but when he met me he completely felt that he is ready and working hard so we can get married next year❤️
Congrats!!🎉🎉🎉
As a man, I gotta tell you already the first one is wrong for the one you truly want to marry. A man who doesn't value you when you do more is not the man you want to be with in the first place. The man you want to spend the rest of your life with is the man you want to do more for and he WILL value you greatly for doing those things.
Just because some men take these positive traits for granted does not mean you stop doing them, it means you need to find someone who will not take them for granted... The man you want to spend the rest of your life with is out there and by removing the positive feminine trait of doing things for your man, you disqualify yourself from him simply because he is a man who greatly values that trait in a woman.
After all you don't want to be with just 'some' man, you want to be with 'the' man
ma man
As Dr. Orion Taraban says: women oftentimes to the right things for the wrong men
@@Of_infinite_Faith but why is that? I mean it's true but what is the psychology behind ? Why men do respect women (MORE) who take care of themselves?
I agree, but her point is to put yourself first, and do more for yourself than for any other. Also by doing more for yourself, you can give more, because you glass is overflowing, not empty:)
She is not wrong
This really applies to anything in Life. As I move into the late twenties, I realize there are people and opportunities that are just the right fit for me, not because i put an enormous effort to it, but because we simply match
I'm 23 and this is the best advice i have ever heard on the internet...will definitely be using!!!
THANK you. Just had a weird vibe with my boyfriend over a year. He wanted space. I know everybody deserves space, I want that too. I got hurt when he first told me, but we hang everyday still. We both need time for our self. This put my mind to rest and made me more sure that it’s healthy. And that if he really loves me, he will come back
Things I'd love to see:
- dealing with not fitting into societal beauty standards
- how to know someone would make a good partner
- how to balance motherhood and being a good partner (I am so scared of doing this wrong lol)
- your parenting tips! (things you will do differently to how you were raised)
- when do you think is a good age for marriage
- things to consider before you agree to marriage
thank you margarita, you're incred 🥰
Societal beauty standards as they are generally aren’t wrong to follow, the Instagram look is the wrong one to follow, with constant surgeries and fake angles and filters etc you get the idea. That is wrong, but a healthy and fit body is not.
I was apprehensive to listen to this kinda rolled my eyes at the title. But boy was I surprised. Super, super solid advice. Done most all of this and had absolutely amazing relationships.
Great content. This applies to many things in my experience.
People just don’t appreciate effort.
IIt often leads to sabotage and jealousy with platonic relationships: work colleagues, friends, acquaintances, other women and sometimes men, family even.
At this point, I realise it’s human nature.
You’re right. Valuing yourself and putting a premium on your time makes not just men, but other people value you.
Had a situation with a friend recently who was being uber demanding with endless caveats about meeting - at her behest- in the end I cancelled. I didn’t feel good in my body.
Don’t service people who don’t appreciate you or respect you enough/ at all, even if you feel lonely and need company.
Value yourself.
Things will get better in the right way.
As a guy I would add a thing to the point you made about giving hints.
Just giving a smile, looking at me for a bit longer than usual, or saying I look good in something, still wouldn't necessarily make me think you are romantically interested in me. That could still just be basic human kindness, you being nice without any added meaning.
If a girl is not giving me huge "airplane landing" signs, I'm not going to risk making a move and potentially make her feel awkward, uncomfortable or creeped out. Especially in today's world where I could face significant social damage for trying to chat up the wrong girl.
What do you mean by social damage? Your too fearful. Best way to go is be friendly with no expectations. Be friends first! Ask the Lord to help you navigate today's murky dating pool.
excellent point. agreed
@@danilaroche1156 you forgot about social media with the "MeToo" movement and people getting "Canceled". not unrelated, these days new laws against harassment are being created frequently, despite women already being able to screw up a man's life with mere accusations. a side effect is that in such a climate, the risk of making a move is much higher. also don't just assume that everyone is religious
Not assuming people are religious but God works for me. I still think people are too fearful these days. A man can speak to a lady and be polite yet show interest. We cannot live in FEAR. That's not living. I'll say it again, we all need the Lord.
Saying hello to a woman is not illegal. You sound kind of timid.
Great video, there is nothing like a perfect marriage or relationship, I learnt that in everything there is always a solution, 5 years ago I and my wife divorced because we were having some difficulties in our marriage but we are back together ,it was a really bad phase but we got through it
there is a lot of sense in what you just said and I hope mine works the same way too, we are currently separated but I cant live without her, I love her so much. wish I can get her back I can do anything to have her back, we have tried therapy amongst other things
its always difficult to let someone you love go, but in my case I had the help of a spiritual adviser who saved my marriage from collapsing her name is SHELLY RENEE WHITE.
this is helpful, I will look her up. I hope this works for me too, I really miss her.
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Honestly, the truth is, if he doesnt value you, hes probably just not that into you.
Number 2 is so true. As a man (20 yrs old), I met this girl who was 'ready to marry' and did everything for me without knowing what she wanted. I thought it was really great for me, but as time went by, I felt like I was the only one pushing the relationship forward. Eventually, we worked together to help her focus on her passions. She eventually felt happy with herself and became busy, which made me admire her more. She eventually broke up with me after our passions basically conflicted with mine, but because of that, we're still great friends till this day. And by the time I got to my new girlfriend who was really into psychology, I learned after that that I should look for women who actually have passions and have strong thought out opinions. So yeah. She's right. Value yourself and work on yourself.
i’d love to see another video about self, like how to know your charms and embrace who you are in all relationships
As a man, I do not agree with point 1 & 2, as I think these apply for egotistic people either man or women. For the rest, girls listen to the lady she holds the truth
I think balance and nuance are needs for points 1 & 2. There's a certain amount of work and effort that needs to be put into a relationship from both sides, but past a certain point, putting more work and effort will not bring any gain. A guy will not appreciate a girl that does absolutely nothing, but he also won't appreciate a girl that goes absolutely overboard.
As a man, I have to say that I also learned alot about myself. This video is not only for women. This is so accurate!
Thank you for sharing😊💚
So spot on! I wish I could go back to my 20’s and follow these! But seriously I hope all women in their 20’s LISTEN and follow this. Although I follow my career I still wanted love so often put myself through so much more heart ache instead of really choosing myself.
You can choose to have a family or grind in the rat race. You can focus on your baby and your husband or in your degree/career... You can't have the cake and eat it too at the same time... If you try doing that the outcome will be a divorce.
@@joaoportugal8618You CAN have a career and have children. Haven't men done it for centuries? It works if BOTH juggle it. It's not easy having kids and working but in this economy if a woman can also provide financially then great!
People need to stop thinking only men can do it. If both women and men worked as a team they would be able to have some career AND take care of the kids.
As a man, I pretty much agree with everything you said. The one exception is the reason you stated as to why men see themselves as more valuable when given favors or shown acts of kindness. I don’t think it’s malicious - I just think men don’t get as much affection or validation as women do when growing up or on a day to day basis. Being given a favor is a form of indirect validation. And it can be addictively gratifying to be on the receiving end of something for people who don’t experience validation often.
Edit: I also want to state that the outcome of a man viewing only himself better and not viewing the woman who does him a favor as more valuable only applies if he’s not attracted to her. Otherwise, if he is attracted to her, then he’ll value both her and himself more.
As you point out, women don’t understand how indifferent society is to men (no one cares whether a man succeeds or dies, but if he’s going to die just do it where no one has to listen to him suffer). So that makes your attention gold for him. This video confuses “doing nice things for him” and “smothering him”-the first is great, the second is terrible. But when you invest in him, see if he invests in you. If not, cut back.
I disagree somewhat. Men do get validation in society (a lot more than women). Their accomplishments are more valued than women, what they have to say is taken more seriously.
It’s a bit of a catch 22 because while men receive less affection, they’re also more coddled (not all). It seems both can be true at the same time (ie. Less affection from dad, coddled by mom) at varying degrees depending on a person’s specific circumstances.
I think men probably do experience less social warmth in certain settings where they’re unfamiliar to people; because men are more often perceived as a threat than women. (And conversely, women are more often perceived as possible prey ).
It’s not something I would describe as an indifference toward men, but more like an instinctive defensive measure that comes from living as a woman and being aware that you are seen as prey, or someone who can be easily overpowered and taken advantage of and the fear and survival instinct that comes with that.
It’s very interesting learning about and comparing the different experiences of the genders moving through life. Hopefully it helps us understand each other more.
@@OMGitsShrimp Disagree. How are men’s accomplishments validated more? That seems like a stretch. Nobody really cares unless you’re uber successful, and that’s because you’re successful, or attractive, or people want something from you. Nobody celebrates the average man, the hardworking men who keep our societies afloat. They’re criminally under appreciated. Women seem to employ the apex fallacy a lot when viewing and talking about men I’ve noticed.
You are not a man 😂
Omg the story that you're telling me is so direct, and sharp. Especially, there're some points that I learned from my first bf are similar to what you're saying.
I love how you handling keep on sharing all of these amazing advices and caring for the baby. Such a smart, beautiful and strong woman! Love it!
"Who makes him feel like the man he wants to be"
So true!
As for point 2 I think it's true but there should be a healthy balance between time for yourself whilst also spending quality time.
The BEST VIDEO that you have done yet. So glad to have found your channel.
WOW… it costed me a breakup, but I finally got to this video, and everything you said makes sense and you said it with so much ease… that’s a lot of wisdom right there… THANK YOU
I hope you’re ok. Sorry to hear about your breakup. ❤ be strong. ❤
Thank you for your kind words and encouragement, I am much much better now… time and giving things to God really did make a difference in my healing journey ❤️🥹 I hope i maintain this knowledge now that I know it, and I wish that any girl learns this without having to go through tough times to get there 🫠
I love how real you are with your advice lol we all need to hear it straight sometimes.
30 year old married man here. Definitely that first and second point are so true. I respect my wife so much because she does things for herself, whether to relax, socially, or for career advancement.
I don't ever want to think this hard about men ever again. This is just way too much. He either likes me and does good by me or doesnt, meanwhile i just go about life being myself without having to think about it. :)
so glad i found this, i'm 20 and ready to learn⭐️
Lovve ittt! Let the next topic be the10 things we need to know while in marriage!
I like this tone of voice of yours so much better - calm, paced, soothing... I follow you from TikTok. I listen to your message but you have a very different tone of voice on there (a bit more agressive, forward). I'm grateful that you put all this content out there.
You're one of my looked up to "big sister" content creators. 💜
haven't seen the tik tok may be it draws more attention.
i turned 25 and i learned everything you said in the video in the hardest way. but i am glad i realize it.
This was such a refreshing perspective-it’s like the advice I wish someone had given me years ago! The point about 'hard to get but easy to be with' really struck a chord. It’s so true that being a confident, playful version of yourself, instead of running yourself ragged trying to please someone, shifts the entire dynamic.
What are your thoughts on balancing that playful energy with deeper conversations about long-term goals early in a relationship? I’d love to hear your take on navigating that without overwhelming the other person.
Also, love your delivery-makes these insights so relatable!
“but unlike the normal things.. men are not the same” so real
Margarita, it's your best video, congratulations 🎉❤
You look beautiful. Postpartum was hard for me to get myself back to looking and feeling good. Thanks for this info.
“Spicy” is great advice
In “confidence” saying I want a long term relationship too much and very early on signals you haven’t been able to be in one despite trying and makes you look less desirable
This was very refreshing. You are so dry and cracked me up. Thank you so much for this!
You are the prize ladies so focus your energy on loving & working on yourself and the man will naturally follow :)
How are women the prize? Men must earn their value. The definition of value is different for men and women. Women are valued for their beauty and men for their ability to protect and provide. Women are born with value. There is plenty of beautiful women but a shortage of high value successful males. Just because you say you are the prize does not change the facts.
@@leonh2044 bs women are born with a uterus that's it highly desirable women have other good trails too how they speak how they move how intelligent they are without that no they wouldn't be high value beside men have to work and earn to get a women how one gonna work for something while being the prize you earn the prize
@leonh2044 well you just answered your own question; women are born with value..what i am trying to highlight is that women should work on themselves too. They want to be claimed and "conquered" thats what I mean by prize
@044 Who are they earning value for though? Lots of beautiful women for sure but it is not about just being beautiful. If you are unlucky enough just to be plain or below average you are working to gain that value in society lol. Yet the goal is to be a well rounded women(fit, good partner, intelligent, potential to be good mother etc). When you ask men if it easy to find that they say no especially now. You are missing one little piece of the puzzle. If women weren't prized in some way men would not feel the need to put themselves above all other competition to get the prized women in their eyes. Goes both ways.
@@leonh2044 because men compete for women. Women do not compete for men, unless he is of an extremely high caliber, which is rare. You said it yourself, women have inherent value, and men have to build themselves. Thus beautiful, kind women are the "prize" that is rewarded to hard working men
Woah! Girl. You give me clarity.
the luxury bag inference is so good.
I'm 17,just had a huge heartbreak, never thought I'd ever go through this. He's a 20year old and I expected some love and care atleast. He prioritised himself,i didn't,that was the issue. I just know he's not the one. He disrespected me so much that i never considered it as a disrespect and I'm so glad he himself initiated the break up and I'm glad I'm putting myself first finally after so many contact breaking and begging. It was indeed a lesson.
He should prioritze himself first.
@@rjflores438 He shouldn't be in a relationship if he's not ready to commit and be a grown ass man.
@@GaiaLore you are correct miss
I turned 20 on 25 February 2024. Much needed, thank you so much for this video!🩶🌹🎀✨️
Margarita. 👑 I really needed this video right now. Plus, as someone from the UK I loved your British accent. 😂
I think it’s a mix of British 🇬🇧 Aussie 🇦🇺 I love it 😊 x
Your videos always seem to come when I need a proper wake-up call, really grateful for your insights ❤
The thing about putting time into yourself is so real though. It goes the other way around too, ppl in general are so much more attractive when they are put together. Confidence is attractive.
liked, saved to favourites, shared with friends. this is precious public service. thank you sis.
“Maybe sometimes you are the problem. Let people be who they are and don’t try to change them” this is so real. I was just journaling earlier and I was like “it seems like every guy I like doesn’t want me back or they’re not ready for a relationship” but they literally tell me straight up and I like try to prove that I’m “cool” and worthy enough WOWW. Thank you for this video! I love TH-cam . I’m 23 I kind of just starting dating so I have a lot to learn and that’s okay 🥰
Hi margarita, I would like a video on How to balance doing for a man and not doing with practical examples. How do you know if you're giving too much? When you naturally want to make him feel good and appreciated and show your love?
genuine not out of desperation to keep.
You mentioned how it could be an ego issue-- "how can this guy possibly not like me? Now let me prove to him my value" -- when it comes to letting go of a guy who just isn't sure about you. What are some things we could do to resolve that ego issue? Perhaps there are practices we can implement at the time we're thinking that or practices we can try when we're not involved with anyone romantically.
It sounds so easy to just say "let that man go" but in reality, we all know how hard it is.
She has just answered all my doubts. Thankyou !!!
watching this as a young man. lots of truth in here. i see a lot of these points as applicable to both men and women. also as applicable outside of romantic relationships as well.
i think the biggest overarching point i took from this is that individuals are individuals. working on and with the self is ultimately what’s important in affecting the self and the world. behavior that is too selfish or selfless is not respecting the self nor anyone else
i’ve always been a bit of an outcast. i’m trying to understand people better. i’ve watched people but never really involved myself. videos like these are helpful, thank you
i also want to say it scares me that i will get into a relationship with the wrong woman. i know this is everyone’s fear, man or woman.
one thing i’ve seen is that women enjoy when a man is calm and knows how to defuse bad situations. as i’ve gotten more involved with women, i’ve realized that i want that exact same quality from them
Margarita, I have been a fan of your channel for a week (since pretty soon). But you explain and describe in a very clear and well way and I would like to thank you for this channel and for your self improvement which you share in a very meaningful way with us! ❤
I need somebody to remind me to watch this video every month.
Am 50 and can verify all of these very well articulated truths which I had to figure out by painful experience. Just wish someone had tied me to a chair when I was 30 and made me watch this like a 100 times so it would sink in before so much time was wasted 🙂
If these are news to you or you had to be almost 50 to understand these obvious things that most men already know, then you were pretty stupid to begin with.
Learning about men allows us to challenge common stereotypes and see individuals for who they truly are, rather than relying on societal assumptions.
I'm 30 and yes, I agree with everything you've shared.
As a young 23 year old woman exploring my femininity and dating for the first since getting out of a long term relationship, your videos have been absolute GOLD, Margarita!🌟 I wish I knew this a year ago, but I'm also accepting that some things you just have to experience for yourself and learn from. Thank you for being a "virtual" big sister to many woman out there because, even in my short time on this earth lol, everything you said rings so true, especially the part about giving more to a man and thinking he will value us more. I thought the more I give, then how could he not want to be with me, right? But no, I've learned it's about respecting your boundaries and not being so available to every beckoning call is what really makes people respect you and your time (not just in romantic relationships, but platonic ones) as well. Love hearing your wisdom 💖
Yet to love the guest interviews as much as i love these videos. These are so much relevant to me and informative at the moment.
- topics i would like to hear from you-
- decentering men/ partner
- how to work on limerence reg the idea of a man. I walked out of a relation that dint serve me cus he is all that yu outline about men being focussed on themselves.. but there are more times in the day that i think of what we could have been and have mental conversations with him.. he is still in my thought and energy and i want to clear this for good.
- how to remember to focus on your self worth- i know you talk a lot about this but its tough to remember this when yu need it the most
- how to declutter your mind to focus on things that matter
- do more of the responses to questions that are sent to you.
You are brilliant Margarita! You keep saying following those whom you would like to be, and id like to be like you! The confident, sorted in the head, know when to let in and let
Go..
lastly- i love your metaphors and analogies.. keep them coming!
I feel like this advice applies especially to those with anxious attachment styles
Yeah, I want the most epic roller coaster!
Yeah, we can handle it. Then you get on, and the roller coaster starts inching up, to the very top. And then, when you’re at the very top and the roller coaster finally starts to crest, and things finally, you know, start getting real, your stomach drops. And at that moment, you’re still hopeful, but you tell yourself:
"Holy shit, what did I get myself into? What the fuck is this? Why did I ever agree to this?"
That’s exactly what’s happening with God and humans. We’re putting ourselves in these situations, living through them, and it feels horrible, but also kind of exhilarating and fun. It’s like the ultimate virtual reality - a virtual reality where your own life is on the line.
So to sum up the underlying key ingredient here from this video that I see is:
To love yourself first. Devote time to yourself first. Devote to things *you* like to do. Have a sense of self and build your own self esteem. Have a life *outside* of men. Men should not be the center of your world but can be a part of it. Be playful. Do not give MORE of yourself to a man who does not deserve it.
Thank you for the amazing tips and I absolutely love your delivery and humor!!
Seeing your video was like a therapy lesson, thank you.
I'm 20, and your words totally makes sense Thank You..♥️
This type of videos, I just run to the comments section to read a summary and close the video but yours really hooked me from the start and watched till the end.. Great advice with brutal honesty 👍🏻 definitely subscribing
Man is not just extreme pleasure. Man is the realization of immortality and the realization that everything is heaven. When you realize that, it's so good, it's infinitely good. It's not just good. It's good to the infinite degree. It's so much goodness that you can't contain it. your body can't hold it. Your entire body shakes and shudders in a cosmic orgasm of bliss. It's perfection. It's total peace. It's absolute love, that's truly man.
This was actually amazing! She was spot on for everything. I am so glad that you made this ❤❤❤
Margerita we need a video about when we should leave a man 😢
If you already think you should leave him, then I think you already intuitively know your answer. Good luck sis❤️
@@ninjabrown8560 I guess you're right i have this feeling that he is with me coz he doesn't have other options altough he proposed
lol yes
I read "once you create a pros and cons list, youre already out the door." Its okay to leave, its okay to start over. You're incredible, you are amazing! You can be single and you are going to thrive!
@MsRickylynn guess so !
he is hesitating a lot although he proposed but i guess i am not his type or he run out of options