This is crazy I'm 65yrs old never had children my husband passed away 11months ago I lost everything, house, car, had to sell my furniture to survive. I miss him so very bad had a beautiful marriage. I found out all the money was gone. No family, so I prayed and thank God I got his pension and SS and life insurance. Just starting to realize I'm on my own but I'm surviving. Thank you for this story have been having a bad two weeks. Now I'm saving money to buy a Condo by the end of the year.
Pearl, You are definitely a survivor and I wish you well and being able to get your condo by the end of the year. That will make everything you went through worth the survival mode that you had to be in. I’ll be thinking about you and hoping that your dreams do come true.❤️
It's not about money IF you have it! I ended up homeless for 10yrs. Most of everything was stolen by family I had helped and invited in to my home. I was very ill at the time almost died. They got access to my bank. I'm alone totally. Idk how I will live alone I'm 65.?
Sandra, thank you so much for sharing your story. I too am a survivor. When my children were 3 and 1, my husband announced he did not want to be married any more. He moved our furniture out of our house, deposited it in my mother’s garage, turned the house and car over to the bank. I was homeless with two babies. I was devastated, homeless and alone. My father had just died, my mother was not in a position to take us in. In those years, there was little help for women. Eventually, I realized God would take care of me, I found a job, found someone to care for my daughters while I worked, and began my new life. In those years being divorced carried a stigma of “broken home”, I hated that. I was shy and insecure, but my children were my priority. With no child support and their father rarely surfacing, suddenly without notice, (he had a girlfriend), he kidnapped the girls. Again at that time there was little help for women. I took on a second job to finance my search for them and lawyers fees. It took me 10 months to find them. Then I was told by lawyers that my chances of getting them back was very slim. After all, possession was 9/10ths of the law and after all, I was a working mother. God smiled on me, I did get them back. The saga did not end there. Seven years later, I remarried. I had visions of raising my children in a two parent environment. We even had a third child.... but the dream of happiness dissolved as my new husband, a Vietnam vet, sunk into ptsd, depression and uncontrolled alcoholism. He would become violent, his behavior was erratic, Children and Youth told me that if I did not find a safe place for my children, that they would. Once again I was on my own with my daughters. My first husband’s location was unknown so there was no child support, I worked and raised my girls frugally. But we got by, I always said, don’t worry God will take care of us! He did. As I write this, I am now 74, my youngest daughter passed away from addiction, leaving me with a grandson to raise. I was a mom for 50 years, I had children from each decade: ‘69, ‘72, ‘81, and ‘97. They are all grown up now, I am finally an empty nester. Even with life’s challenges, I survived. That’s what being a survivor is, having faith that God will take care of me. We were never rich, but I never told the kids that. We made our own fun and memories. Thank you for sharing your story. We, as women don’t always realize the strength we have within us to carry on. We just do what we need to do, without question. It is comforting to know that we are not the only ones.
Linda, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Sharing is really important because your life and your story may help someone else who is going through bad times now. Life does throw us things sometimes that we think we cannot live through, but we do. Women are stronger than we are given credit for. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of this and deeply sorry that you lost your youngest child. Addiction sometimes can be genetic if circumstances lead them to substances. Please don’t ever blame yourself. Yours is the story of strength and survival. Your children should be grateful that they had the mother then and that they have you now. Blessings your way. God is good❤️
Sandra, thank you for your reply. There is another thing that we have in common, I also was a Romper Room teacher! I was with WENY ,Elmira, NY. 1969-1972 it ended when Hurricane Agnes flooded the Chemung and Susquehanna Rivers.
@Linda McDermott Wow, thank you for sharing your story. Every time I read one of the stories they encourage me more and more to just keep going, to keep moving forward… ❤️ Blessing to you and yours…
Your story is so touching! 🥲🥲I am sorry you had to endure so much pain...but not only did God take care of you, He will wipe away any tear from your eyes and your suffering will be forgotten. Be blessed!
It is easy to say and hard to do ,Oh my God I do not know what would of I do ,If i was in that situation ,I Was listening and unfortunately think I would of quit and leave :(
My wife had so many things happen to her that by the time I meet she were always jerk away if I tried to touch her face,I knew something had happened but waited for her to tell me...I was amazed and shock because she's the sweetest person I know and I'm thankful that God brought her to me... I'm angry and saddened to read how many women are mistreated.... To all the women I'm truly sorry for the pain you have endure..
Thank you for this. Lucky enough to have a patient, understanding hubby like you. Unfortunately the gentlest of us seem to be targets, good men speaking out are part of the cure. 🙏
Your advice work for 51 year-old men sitting on the fence. I feel like I needed to hear this. You are a strong person. I hope your children are proud of their mother - most people would have collapsed, mentally. I watched my mother drink herself to an early death, after my father left us for my mother's good friend. My father actually tried to give my mother our house and she sold it for nothing and promptly moved us to a rough trailer park. Needless to say, I learned to fight, dropped out of school, eventually went back and earned my MBA, after realizing I'm not tough enough for the streets! I have a great life, wife (of 30 years) and kids.
Sandra, your prose is so beautiful. My husband just passed. Im tryjng to pull myself back up. Im 65. Its especially difficult because of COVID19. No hugs... no people to comfort me. I drove myself to the funeral and drove myself home. I've been alone ever since. But alone can be good cant it? I'm a survivor too. Thank you for your honesty and help to others who are in a dangerous and difficult situation. Taking a day at a time is important too. I know that's true. Thank you so much...
We are never alone if we love ourselves. I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband. It can be devastating for us, but we do have to go on because you’re worthy of a life. You are worthy of a good life that will continue. Your memories of him will always be there, but your life ahead can be just as good. You are never alone if you have your faith and your love of yourself.❤️
My friends husband died during the covid shutdown too, isolating us from physical contact. She is a caregiver so we had to be extra careful. I'm so sorry for your loss of your partner and the physical comfort that you need and deserve. Reaching out to others, doing something for yourself to give you comfort and even joy will help you. Don't let hopelessness defeat you, look for inspiration outside of your immediate grief, nature,music,yoga, lighting a candle in memory of him, create something for yourself, reach out to your faith family. You are still hear and your husband would want the best for you. Again I'm so sorry, my prayers go to God for you.
My dearest friend, you know I understand your difficulties. When my husband was murdered I was left with my 7 sons, aged 9 months to 18 years. My husband was a very good provider and losing him devastated me. I felt so alone and I was scared and depressed, extremely depressed. I moved from New York back to Indiana, close to my mother. I thank God for her strength and wisdom. I was a zombie for 5 years and just existed, I didn't live. I attempted suicide 5 years later and was comatose for 3 months. Once again my mother was my hero, she took care of my broken body and spirit. It has been 25 years since Dennis died and 20 years since my suicide attempt. I am so fortunate to still be here and have such inspiration from you. You touched me with your courage and compassion ❤️ My motto: She thought she could, so she did!
Rhiannon, thank you so very much for sharing your story. We never know what a person’s history is, do we? I can imagine having been left as a young woman with seven children to raise must’ve been so very difficult. I just had three and I know the challenges I had while they were growing up. I’m so happy that you weren’t successful in your attempt 20 years ago to leave us, but the strength of your mother is absolutely a true example of deep love for your children. I’m so happy that you were at a point now where you can live each day to the fullest and appreciate what you have and not what you don’t have. Thank you so much for always being here.❤️
Oh Sandra! I too went through a horrific situation with my ex husband. Everything you said rings so true, especially your last remarks. After all I went through with my ex husband, I lost my teaching job a few years later. At fifty seven, it’s almost impossible to get a new position, so I took a job overseas in the Middle East and never looked back. I worked seven years in Kuwait. It offered me an opportunity to to travel and make enough money to pay off my mortgage and put away money for retirement. So yes, sometimes the worst days of our lives can open the doors to the best days ahead. Never give in to despair and hopelessness. Take one day at a time and don’t dwell on the past. The best is yet to come!
Charlotte, thank you so very much for sharing your positive story with us. I always believe that things that happen to us could be turned into something positive. You are a true example of that. I really appreciate your telling us how you made a life for yourself out of negative circumstances ❤️.
@@paulalane8638 well thank you so much. I met many wonderful friends from across the globe. It was a wonderful experience. God’s plans are always better than our plans.
A psychiatrist phoned me and said, “ How long would you husband last in prison?” I told him that he would not last three days. He said, “If you won’t leave him to save your life, maybe you will leave him to save his life.” I am now with a great man and am very contented.
My brother was paranoid schizophrenic and died suddenly a few years ago . I broke my heart but also sadly was a relief. He was homeless most of his adult life and self-medicated with drugs and alcohol his body finally gave out. I will never forget the times he was happy and when he was a kid and am looking forward to seeing him again in heaven. ❤
@@Juanitajam if only it were that easy. We did help him as much as he would let us. We would get him into housing etc and everything would seem fine for a brief time and then suddenly he would be gone without a word to anyone. We wouldn't know where he was for months while he was hitchhiking and self medicating across the country. It's very hard to keep a grown man safe that is too paranoid to stay in one place or on his prescribed meds.
@@Juanitajam such an ignorant comment you obviously have no clue how mental illness works. You Cannot help a family member who suffers from mental illness & you can't force them to get help or to take their medication You have to let them go to save yourself & your sanity.
I to survived a nightmare of a marriage to a man who had a drug addiction and mental health issues. He took me to depths of dispare, depression and almost killed me. He left me after 10 years of marriage with $400 at a motel 8 in 1997. It was the best thing he ever did for me. It forced me to get strong real fast! Today I have a strong 21 year marriage to a super man. It's amazing when you think you can't go on, you find that little spark that's left inside that nudges you to take that first step into rebuilding your life and yourself. Great story💜
Sassy, i’m sorry you had to go through that, but yours is a wonderful story of survival. Good for you. I am so happy that you share this with us and I hope all of my subscribers will read your story. It is evidence there is another chapter that can be so much better in your life.❤️
I am 35yrs old woman from pakistan ..i am a muslim....i loved your courage...passion....positivity...contentment about life...hats off to u ladies.....
Look at that…9.2k people received this life-changing message. I can only imagine how different the world will be as elders like you share their stories and wisdom. It was silence and secrecy that made us the shame and fear-based women we used to be. Much gratitude for you and all women who add their voices to the narrative of history.
Lived with a narcissist, divorced 10 years on, trying hard to move on mentally, he is still in our lives because of the children.... I loved the video.. Working hard at moving on. I am a survivor.
awww, Sandra I don't know what to say. I am in tears and my heart is full. I feel so much admiration for you, and yes, sadness, too. What a woman you are. Love and thank you for sharing this journey with us. You are courageous. Love, Melissa
Thank you so very much Melissa. Life sometimes throws those things that are unexpected, but we are strong enough to survive them. Thank you so much for watching today. Love you.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart Yes thank you so much Sandra Life is not an easy journey and thank you for all you share too Melissa 55 I know that we all have our heartbreaks and must trust God for healing
DEAREST LIFE OVER SIXTY WITH SANDRA , YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL NOW . JUST IMAGINE WHEN YOU WERE MUCH YOUNGER . WITH LOVE , PRAYERS , HUGS , AND SWEET KISSES . FROM ME , AND MY FAMILY , " THE ROTHSCHILD'S . FAREWELL MY LOVE 😊😍😘
I’m a survivor from an uncles’s sexual assault on me, my sister was there also. We didn’t tell my parents, my father had just survived a heart attack. So 40 years later my depression made me finally talk about it. Thank you Sandra your an inspiration ❤️
Dear Linda, I was molested by my uncle when I was about 9 years old and I also didn't tell my mother until I was 17. It really did warp my soul for a long time. My dad still doesn't know because he has stents in his arteries and he's been let down enough times already.
Thank you so much. I really needed that "pep talk". I am 45 years old and single. I lost my only child 3 years ago due to accidental drug overdose. She was 27. I had her when I was 13 and im sure you can imagine the struggles and such with being a teen raising a baby. I did the best I could through the years but I feel I obviously didn't do good enough. She was the center of my universe, my daughter and my best friend. Im plagued with severe depression and can't get it together. I have a handful of family and friends luckily that have supported me despite my poor me mentality I can't seem to get away from. We all have our stuff but I feel like I died when she did. Im so stuck I can't even remember when I felt ok. Hearing your story, your words, and how you say it spoke deeply to my soul. Thank you.
Wendy, my son and his family just left to go back home and I know the emptiness I’m feeling right now. So I cannot imagine the loss of a child and the heartache that remains with you every single day of your life. We are not meant to outlive our children. Your daughters choice was hers and you mustn’t blame yourself for losing her. I am sure you were the best mother that you could have been. 13 is very young to be a mother because you were actually still a baby yourself. She is no longer in pain and you must be grateful for the years that you had together with her. I do know they have group counseling for parents who have lost their child and you might want to research to see if there’s one in your area. That way you could be with like minded people who can understand exactly what you’re going through. Please let the wonderful memories of the good times you had together start your day every day. My thoughts are with you, because I know what it is to be a mother and how much love you and I have as a parent. ❤️
@Wendy Butler, please try to find a support group like Susan recommended. You don't have to talk, just listen to the others who want to help you. God bless you!
@Wendy Butler Wendy, I'm reading your message at 5 months later. Hoping your heart has received some healing and that you are doing better. Jesus loves you and so do I. God bless.❤️🙏💐
Wendy, I'm so sorry for your loss precious lady. Please, please get some help with your grief through grief counseling. It is so helpful. You deserve to feel better. Please don't blame yourself. it's not your fault.
Wendy, there are no words. Meds sometimes help you to sleep & eat. Some of us are so lonely. Your attitude is fine. Your feelings are in turmoil. Of course. One day at a time. It is bloody rough.
I really admire you, Sandra. Dealing with such a loss at that time was even more challenging than today. There weren’t many resources. I was born in 1959, and my mom was widowed about 6 weeks after I was born - on Christmas Eve, and my brother was only 3. She didn’t get much help from anyone, but she worked her buns off and survived. It wasn’t until I was a mom myself at 23 that I started to realize how much she really went through. My mom was a remarkable woman, and so are you!
My beautiful daughter suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. It’s a daily struggle dealing with her. She thinks there is nothing wrong with her. My faith in Jesus Christ keeps me going. Please pray that she will realize she needs help. We all have our struggles. Thank you for this message.
LINDA, unfortunately, that is one of the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. The patient thinks that they are well. That is what happened to my husband. He thought there was nothing wrong with him, but there was something wrong with us. When he was medicated it was a different story entirely. Please, I don’t know how old your daughter is, but it really is important that she takes her medication. I certainly will pray that she will resume taking medication that will help stabilize her. I know how how difficult this must be for you. Is there any else outside of your family who can reason with her? I’ll be hoping and thinking of you. ❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart Unfortunately, there usually is no reasoning with someone when they are mentally ill. Just get them on medications that work for them and keep them on it.
@@mrs.stripedpajamas5426 I just heard the exact same thing on a Cosmic Disclosure show last night! This retired CIA agent said that there are so many other "beings" here on earth and inside the earth, and they all say how enormous the human soul is. He said they told him humans usually have about 200-300 lives before we finally get it right. He said the keys were to live life with 1. Integrity 2. Without hate 3. Without Envy 4. Without Greed 5. And to tell our family we love them every single day. 🙏🏻⚛️
Thanks you! Two years ago my twin brother was brutally murdered by a complete stranger. I have had a very hard time and at times have thought of giving up of the world. I miss my twin brother very much and wish there was a support group.
Goldie, I would check to see, maybe you already have, if there is a support group in your area. There usually is some type of bereavement group. Often it is connected with a hospital in your area. Also, therapy does help. I know when we had the situation that we had high and all of my children went into therapy and it really did help us cope understand and to move forward in our lives. Best of luck to you and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this terrible traumatic loss. ❤️
I experienced similar situation. My late husband was an user, abuser and on top of it he cheated on me. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. When he died, I felt so relieved that my children are I could finally live. I experienced nightmares for several years after his death. I brought up my two kids on own and just want to live a simple life. Don't need a man to make me happy and complicate my life and my children's. Thank you Sandra for sharing your story with us. Wish happiness to all independent women.
Dear Sandra, I enjoy your advice. They are helping me a lot! I am a 56 year old lady. I am a widow with no children. I am Nicaraguan. My husband was from the USA. I found out that I have to wait until I reach 60 for his pension. I am on my own now. It has been hard, but life goes on and I have to reinvent myself once again. Thanks for being there Sandra. Saludos desde Nicaragua.
Thank you Sandra. I too was ignorant & naive about my husband’s issues, and spent 50 yrs hoping & praying that each new day would be better... but that didn’t happen.
Dear Georgie, Yes, hope is not a strategy or a plan; it is merely an emotion. Been there, too. Not until I had a solid plan did things turn around. Natalia
Great counsel, beautiful elder. As a girl of 16 in my mother's mind i became her mortal enemy of her and my 4 younger siblings. She never loss display of her fear, resentment and belief until her second stroke with a resulting memory loss.I had lived quite reclusively as the eldest caretaker of the younger siblings. The accusation and rejection was devastating. I survived but not recovered. I suffered depression and feared for my own sanity. God is merciful, had always been with me. I am also over 60. I have hope and gratitude for my life that belongs to Christ.
I’m so sorry to hear about your young struggles with your mother. My cousin had the same problem with her mother and it does affect us greatly when the person we depend upon for love and support is not always there for us. I really appreciate you sharing your story today with us because I think it might help someone else, too.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart I really believe there was somethings in our environment that was in initiating a rash of PS. The victims of that disease seemed to be quite intelligent also. Perhaps it was perceiving lies or incongruousies.
At 63 I have recently been feeling like my time is over. All the things I have not accomplished r not worth doing now, even tho they were incredibly important a few years ago. Thank u for your encouragement and inspiration
Ginger, it is never too late to realize your dreams. Please don’t ever forget that. You can still do the things that you want in this life. You just have to take action ❤️
@Ginger Lancaster, your time is so not over! I don't know what you were wanted to accomplish, but there is always so much more in life. I'm 67 and have so many ideas of things to do. I'm semi-retired, work from home for 2 years now, have a growing Ebay shop of things in my own home, or that I have inherited or bought at flea markets and thrift shops. I have to do 99% of everything here as my husband is disabled , has 3 stents in his heart, and has hydrocephaly or water on the brain and we are awaiting surgery. I have many bad days and recently thought I was getting pneumonia again and wound up in the ER . they did a chest Xray and found it clear and said It was probably severe allergies, stress, and a panic attack. I was so worried I would get sick and couldn't take care of him. Once they told me that I was fine. anyway, maybe you can make a new bucket list of things to do. Hope this helps! God bless you!
You were one of the lucky ones...when I decided I had to survive, the hard choices I made turned everyone against me...yes, even my family...they had no idea I never had a peaceful nights sleep in 11 years, but they were eager to help him become my stalker. I moved out of state, had to leave children behind, couldn't take them out of state after the divorce was final...so, I became the "bad" person...they helped him...I changed my phone # and my mother gave him my unlisted number! I was beyond desperate when he told my mother he'd hired someone to kill me. Three thousand miles away and he continued to threaten my life all day and night until the day he finally died when an aneurysm burst in his throat and he drowned in his own blood. If you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Sandra, I just stumbled upon your channel and I'm so glad...I've already learned so much. I wish I'd heard this twenty years ago, I thought I was the only one...thank you, you're beautiful inside and out!
You are not alone. So many of us have had things happen to us in our lives that we never asked for. Fear that was set upon us by another who is trying to control our life. Mental illness affects all those around a person who is ill. My late husband charmed the world until he was eventually murdered. It is a story that is told so often. We are both lucky to still be alive. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so happy to have you here.❤️
These kind of men are so underestimated by people that have no idea how they operate, and they don't want to know either. That's fine, cut them off your life completely and never look back. There's great help and support and real security for victims of these TYPE of criminals, male or female. So very dangerous to children especially. Greatest relief is when it's truly ended.
Same here,i couldn't believe my mum and siblings would betray me.This kind of things change a persons life forever,i cannot trust a relative again. I'm surprised your story ended up like mine.
My oldest sister suffered from the same mental illness and when she unexpectedly died it was a relief for the whole family. I think it was a relief for her too, odd as that may sound to some people.
Sara, if anyone understands. I do. The fear of living with someone who is schizophrenic and also the sadness you feel for that person is very hard. They do have better medications today, but living with someone who has mental illness is not an easy life. For them or for their loved ones. Thank you so much for sharing your story today with all of us.❤️
How weird that your name is Sara spelled just like my beautiful sister Sara who died at 45 from alchoholism...that is how I understand what you mean....she is at peace and so are all of us....we miss her terribly BUT not all the drama that went on for years!🌺🙏
Always keep a go bag with underwear, etc- 3 days of clothing, Dental supplies, any meds even OTC, a credit card that he doesn't know about and that is not billed to your address along with your house and car keys so they can grab it and go. I can tell you I was never so frightened as when my husband took my keys and I had no escape. Or if your husband is always locking you outside then put some cash, a credit card that he doesn't know about that is not Bill to your house (so that he can't follow your movements), along with copies of your house and vehicle keys in a fake rock outside, in case he locks you out. If I had thought about it, I probably should have put my stuff in plastic boxes (if they had them back then) and put them in our crawl space under the house- in case he would have changed the locks. But since I was the handy woman I was sure that he didn't change the locks and I got right in. It was scary while we were loading up but prepacking 2 months prior had helped to be able to get in and out. Keep dreaming to keep hope alive.
This really hit home for me . I’ve never asked for help whether out of fear or embarrassment. I finally reached out for help and looking forward to moving on. It only took me 34 years of marriage to realize I can’t save him ( mental illness) or anyone else. I can only save myself. Amazing video Thank you!!!!!! I’m so excited to have my safe haven and not live in fear. Xoxo
Dawn, You and you alone can be the captain of your destiny when you’re in a situation like that. I’m so happy that you reached out and got help so that you can move forward in your life. I have been there and I know how difficult it is. Best of luck to you and please let me know how you will be doing.❤️
That statement is so true !!! You cannot save anyone , can give some help but if they don’t take it it’s their journey in the end . Everyone takes their own journey with God !!! God Bless !!!
It really does depend on situation. Sandra i don't think your husband's diagnosis was the kind of thing where acceptance comes right away. Some things need the 5 stages of grief bf final acceptance. And hope springs eternal
Wow, Sandra ! How did you know that I needed to hear your words today. I am almost 80 years of age and will be living alone without the support that I've been having, and I'm scared. Listening to you has given me hope that I can do this. Thank you so much, and Bless you ! Marti in B.C. Canada
You are describing my marriage and my story. My husband was an alcoholic. I have been free since 2014. Every single thing you describe is so accurate. I am so grateful that I have a good job, my daughters are okay, and I am okay. I feel like I have a bit of PTSD after everything I went through (23 years of marriage), but am doing well.
We do suffer from PTSD. It’s a reality. But being able to move forward with positivity and acceptance of our past is the key. Thanks for sharing your story.❤️
My ex had the same illness, I got divorced , I moved on re married and at 45 I had a second child. I'm now a 68 y o grandma and life is much better. But you are Totally correct you have to tell someone I told a therapist. It's hard To break free but worth it. Be proud Of your accomplishment's .
My ex threatened to kill me & his Mother said they could inject me with insulin in a mole ,she was a diabetic. I had a good job which saved me . The hardest thing is Breaking the bond he was My husband for 24 years. I don't hate him but feel sorry for his 2and wife she's a total mouse🐁.
Rick Holt Hi , I’m so happy you shared your survival story with us. It is so worth it to be free to have a better chapter in your life. Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.❤️ How lucky you ran in the opposite direction!!
Even as a 26 year old, your courage and grace is so inspiring to me. I will take your words to heart and use them in any applicable circumstances. I'm so sorry for what you went through. I believe there is survival capability in us all, even if we need some help getting to that point. Thank you so much for your video.
Maria, One is never too young to start understanding who they are and to try to live the best life they possibly can. Good for you. You’re getting an early start and shaping and building your character and life. Always moving forward in the right direction will help you no matter what circumstances come your way. Thank you ever so much for joining us today and sharing your story.❤️
Dear Sandra Thank You 🙏 I am a survivor as well ,my special son died suddenly 6 years ago it was such a shock and totally unexpected.He was a beautiful soul .Like you I just take each day as it comes although it’s hard sometimes. I am so sorry as you had children to look after and keep safe.l am so glad you met your lovely husband and have the life you deserve.Sending a big hug 🤗 Xxx
Thank you very much, Christine. Life does throw us things that we feel our souls can barely stand. But we do, don’t we? I’m so sorry you lost your son that must’ve been extremely painful then and now for you. You have survived, though, and know that his memory lives on through you.❤️
I ENJOYED YOUR VIDEO. I AM 71 AND HAVE HAD MY LIFE OF BEING FULL, OF JOY, SORROW, SADNESS, AND STILL THANKFUL. I FEEL I CAN BE COMFORTABLE NOW, AND NOT TO WORRY. YOU SPOKE SO MANY TRUTHS, AND HAVE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB OF GROWING. THANK YOU1
HOW AMAZINGLY INSPIRATIONAL ILL NEVER FORGET THIS .I LOST MY ONLY SON AND NEVER THOUGHT ID GET THROUGH IT BUT YES SANDRA I ALSO WALKED THE FIRE GOD BLESS YOU AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH A STRONG CLEVER BEAUTIFUL LADY .
You already know how sorry I am that you lost your son. That is probably a mother‘s worst nightmare. But you have shown strength and love and the ability to carry-on in spite of your heartbreak. I am sure your son would be very proud of you.❤️
I’m fearing that now. Can’t get ahold of my son and don’t know what to do. I’ve been through so many traumas, God help me through this one. I’m sorry you’ve lost your son, will keep you and Sandra in my prayers
Oh, Sandra, what an inspiration. I keep trying to remember that as you say, "You're not given anything, you can't survive." I am struggling now accepting and taking care of my husband of 43 years who has vascular dementia. Blessings.
Diane, I emphasize with what you were going through right now. Arthur’s mother suffered from dementia and I took care of her for a long time it can be very difficult when you see a person who used to be completely disappear before your eyes. God bless you and give you strength to keep taking care of him.❤️
Hello, people have reversed symptoms of dementia with coconut oil. Also statin drugs for cholesterol are linked to demential because the remove the good fats that the brain needs. You can look up Jonathan Otto and Anxiety, Depression and Dementia. He has a docu-series going on right now.
My 2nd husband was paranoid schizophrenic also and it got scared when he didn't take his meds. I eventually divorced him after I found out he had killed his 1st wife.
I’m so happy you realize that you had to get away. There is no way that anyone can live safely with someone who is a paranoid schizophrenic. I found out the hard way and waited almost too long.❤️
I love you so much! You have no idea how much joy your videos give me. I'm 28, and just called off my engagement for the same reason my fiancé became very ill with the same illness!!! And we have 50 years between you and I and the same story... I love you so much you bring me so much hope
There is nothing like "having been there" to afford credibility. People will listen to you, Sandra. This is a very valuable public service to your viewers. And you grew...and you grew...and look where you are today. Thank you for sharing yourself, here, and your book with others in oppressive situations, so that they too can have hope.
Nancy, I hope your son is getting therapy and medication for his depression. They have made such advances in helping with depression. I know how hard it must be for you to see him this way. I’ll be thinking of you both.❤️
Allah is the fix, not meds. Depression is from satan, and many youth are taking drugs and they cant fix it. The current world situation bothers us adults, imagine how it is for the younger ones. Have faith, the creator of the universe has us all in His most capable hands. Smile a lot, speak to him gently, and dont let fear or anger come between you..satan can not win if you ignore him.
Sandra thank you for sharing your story. My husband of 54 yrs passed away 4 weeks ago. The emotions I am going thru I did not expect. From fear, loneliness, guilt of all the things I did and did not do. You gave me hope, itis soon to start planning. But I do know I need to exercise and leave the house. You inspired me to take a step. Also will practice acceptance. Thank you 🙏
Sorry to hear that you lost your husband so soon. I can imagine what you’re going through. The healing process of grief text many different steps and levels. Getting out of the house and exercising really will help you so much. I’m sorry and I’ll be thinking of you
Dear Sandra...I stumbled in here and was awed by your testimony. My Mother suffered from mental illness, but thankfully she was not dangerous. Our society talks about all kinds of things, but mental illness is still a tabu. I wish this subject were more open for discussion but it is not. My Mom really tried hard to fight the good fight . . . Love your You Tube channel and blog! It's so nice to hear a You Tube woman of substance and truly rich in wisdom.
Noelle, I have spent most of my adult life fighting for more openness and discussions about mental illness. The shame should be stripped from mental illness. I have worked very hard to raise money for research on brain behavior. All of the proceeds of my books goes toward research to us help cure and understand the causes of mental illness.( Brain & Behavior Research Foundation) . I am so sorry to hear that your mother had a mental illness but it certainly has made you more compassionate about the topic. Thank you so much for sharing that with all of us❤️
Sandra, thank you for this advice, I lost my mom a month ago, after looking after her and living with her for a few years, I had lived and worked in other countries for many years before I came back to live with my mom, I am so grateful I had those years with my mom, now she is gone, I feel so lost and floundering, almost like I have forgotten what I am capable of, in other circumstances, at 57, I feel it is so difficult to pick up how I used to be. Your words are inspiring, I am sorry for what you and your family went through but I thank you for sharing that. 🌸🌸🙏🌻
Hi Sandra, I think that as we get older the things we fear get more profound. The thought of becoming a widow and all that comes with it, the heartbreak, loneliness, decisions and responsibilities ... getting serious illnesses, our mortality!....thought of these things lurk in us. We must not sell ourselves short. Life is full of challenges and we can do anything as long as we believe that we can. Thank you so much for this video. I am sorry for what you had to endure, it must have been incredibly difficult, wow , talk about PTSD!. I am so happy that you came out so strong on the other side. You are such an inspiration to so many. Have a joy filled week! ❤ Ruth
Ruth thank you so very much for your thoughtful comment. All of the things you say our fears that many of us carry with us and sometimes weigh us down. We just have to try to live in the moment day by day and appreciate each sunrise and each sunset, don’t we? Thank you for all that you said today.❤️
Those fears sure do, my friend. We must seek support and spiritual guidance, as we realize we are not immortal, but finite, and therefore need others outside ourselves to process life. We were created to be social.
Yes....my husband just recently passed from end stage dementia. The whole experience with the disease was very baffling and at times frightening. Especially now when we all are witnessing life Changing circumstances with The pandemic. I am alone and I HAVE TO MUSTER THE COURAGE TO GO ON. MY LIFE IS STILL HERE ON EARTH❤😔
I need the courage to continue my journey. Becoming a recent widow with a husband who succumbed to End stage dementia has been so scary and isolating. I miss him very much, but he is now at peace and whole.....now a different type of isolation with all of us dealing with the pandemic. I pray for strength Everyday❤😔
You carry yourself with such grace and beauty, it's easy to assume you've led a charmed life. So you have succeeded in forging a life through your pain and stoicism that hides the reality of your struggles. I feel privileged to have found your channel, and am grateful for your message. Love to you.
Thank you for this. My ex was dangerous, abusive and threatened my life. He devastated me physically, emotionally and financially. He wiped out our savings and left me with debts. No one believed me until I joined a Domestic Violence group.The horrible divorce took years . Later, his next significant other was found hanging in his closet. Thank you for making me feel safe to talk about this.
Lynn, if anyone understands what you’ve been through, I do. I am so happy you got therapy and support from my domestic violence group. You got out in time. I hope you can release and talk about what happened to you because it’s an important part of healing. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us❤️
@lynne pierson: so glad you got out and are safe now. that could have been you if you hadn't. My first ex was abusive physically, got into drugs and cheated on me. I was so scared to do anything to escape. It took me 6 years, but I realized I was beating my head against a brick wall trying to get him to change, and the wall was not moving! My second ex knew my history, but he lied to me and cheated and thought I'd stay with him! No way, the minute I found out, I told him I could never trust him again. and divorced him. My current husband is recently disabled (past 5 years), but we have had a 38 year good marriage, never easy, hard work, but happy. Best wishes to you!
Dear Sandra, if you just knew WHAT kind of help you give and how important your life lessons are, you would be surprised. Your wisdom is so important for me. I am very blessed to have found your channel. Thank you 🙏
It took a lot of love for you to make that video. I felt the love coming from your heart. I too am a survivor. In my case it was my father who terrorized our family. Thanks
Since you kind of walked in my shoes as a survivor, you know exactly what I’m speaking of. Thank you and I hope my video will help some who are afraid to rise up and move on.❤️
Sandra im so very sorry thank you for speaking out, my husband is a alcoholic and uses drugs it was very frightening with 2 little ones this went on for many years, I had to leave because of the endangered situation how he kept a job that was God watching over us, he now has 19 yrs sober what your doing will save many women and families God bless you 🙏 ❤️
I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, but I found that sharing helps me and hopefully it will help others. Thank you for your thoughts and sharing today
Loss of a sibling or parent is very hard. I can understand your grief. But you must let go of your grief and keep the wonderful memories that you had together of her in your heart. That way she is never far from you and you are keeping her memory alive. No that she is in a better place and would want you to go on with your life. Blessings your way.❤️
You are a real pleasure. My husband decided he didn't want to be tied down to me and our 2 children. He married a girl 3 years older than our daughter. I was devastated but after many years I am still not feeling good about it. I married for life but I guess he wasn't. Thank you for lifting my spirit.
I know of a young stay at home mom with 3 children who was dumped for a younger model. She quickly had to find work to survive. She did. Loved it. Excelled. Within a few years she was quite wealthy. Then her X was dumped for a younger model. He returned and said: Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. She replied: I know but thanks anyway. 🤣🤣🤣
I’ve been a widow for 8 years now. Have 3 children all grown. I still have bouts of anxiety and hate having to sort things out on my own like bills or resolving problems etc. without support. Thank you for the confidence your talk has produced in me. I suddenly felt more positive that I can do it. I can deal with the issues. The problems will get resolved. I just need to face them with confidence and a positive attitude relying on God all the while.
My husband committed suicide in November of last year. He had severe anxiety and depression and was an alcoholic. He was diagnosed in the past with bipolar d/o. No matter what medicine over the years doctors put him on, he always had complaints about side effects and wouldn't stick with anything. When he died he left a big mess to unravel and so much trauma. I know about the anxiety of which you speak. Every problem, every bill, every roof, or window, or dry wall, electric, plumbing, heating, AC etc. issue falls on me to figure out how to fix and how to pay for it. Sometimes the gravity of it all becomes overwhelming, added to the horror of what has happened. However, eventually I made a plan and moved forward with it, step by step, day by day. I found out that I can not only live through a terrible trauma, I can use it to get stronger than I ever thought possible, with God's help.
My husband was borderline. He was very manipulative and I stayed with him until he died from stomach cancer at the age of 67 years old. Luckily, I was 60 years old at the time but with very low self-esteem. I had to rebuild myself and try to enjoy life again day by day. His death was a relief for me. No more fight. I was free at last.
God bless you. God always creates something good out of something bad. My faith has given me such inner peace during all of the chaos in the world. Prayer is one of the best antidotes for everything evil. Keep the faith!
Sandra, I am 20 years old and I watch your videos every time I see it on my home page. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom. It really helps me think positively and gives me hope. I’m so happy to have found you at my age and I enjoy your videos so much. Never stop and thank you again ❤️
I'm so sorry for what you went through. I have a brother with a mental illness that refuses all help. My world changed the day he had a breakdown. I pray that one day soon we will look upon mental illness as we would any other illness like heart disease.I will be 59 years old this year and faithfully watched Romper Room every day. Talk about coming full circle. I've come to realize that we incarnion this earth to fulfill our purpose. and we come back until we figure what it is. We cannot run from our problems either. We must work them out if it takes 100 lifetimes to do so. God bless you for sharing your life with us all these years and for being the beautiful inspiring person you are
Thank you ever so much for sharing all of your wonderful insight with us today. You are absolutely right. And hello DoBee. It’s so good to see a romper room fan again. Talk about full cycle! Have a wonderful day today.❤️
I’m 51, but I came across your video and after hearing your story, I realize we have lived the same past. I am a survivor. Life is not always fair, but God will give you double for your trouble. Get up, dust off and keep moving forward.
I just found you on you tube. Thank you so much for your encouragement. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago. I struggle but I know God has good plans for me. You are an amazing lady. Thank you again.
Welcome. I am so happy you found and that you got inspiration encouragement from my story. God does have a plan for you and you have to be open to excepting it. Thank you for being here
It is a sad tough time for me. It means so much to see your beautiful, kind, generous, and encouraging face and to hear your voice of wisdom and experience. You made a difference in my life today! I am so grateful! Thank you!
Thank-you for being so honest. I have been through the fire too but the Lord brought me through! Now I am blessed with a new and better life as you are! Praise be to God!!!
That is so wonderful to hear! I am so happy to hear from another survivor. I’m also so pleased to know that you were in a better chapter of your life today.❤️
Your intro and your story were very moving. Such a tragic past with your deceased husband. I cannot imagine having to live through the terror with your husband, especially while having children who needed your protection and care. You are indeed a survivor and out of the tragedy and the rubble you have rebuilt a beautiful life with a wonderful partner in Arthur. God bless you.
Thank you so very much. Life is not static and there is a chance for another day and open a new chapter in your life. I want everybody to understand that that is so true. No matter where you are right now in your life there is a chance for it to even get better.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart So true. I always think when we have hit the very bottom in our life, the good thing about that is, the only direction to go from the bottom.....is back up again. :o)
Sandra, i am in my middle age. I am in the middle of divorcing my high- functioning, but mentally I’ll husband. We had been together for 14 years. It’s been extremely traumatic as he harmed me and I spent many months trying to convince myself that I could still make it work through the harassment and verbal assaults. Seeing my kids looking at me, I knew I had to end it. I don’t know how I am going to survive financially. I also take care of my elderly parent. I desperately want to be in the fetal position. I just saw this video recommending and it felt like you were talking to me. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this this morning.😢
The greatest takeaway for me 'Sometimes the worst and hardest monent in our life are what lead us to the very best moment in our lives'...and you indeed is the living proof ... Thank you!🙏
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, experience and encouragement! My husband had a stroke 3 1/2 years ago and I still struggle with the fact he will never be the same. I want to believe he will still recover and be able to walk independently and talk better. My hope is dimming and I am grappling with the reality and fear that this is where he will be for the rest of his life. I am sad for him and myself that our relationship has changed and that I will always be taking care of him. I know he tries his best, it’s just hard. I take life one day at a time and I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I ever was and that I’m a survivor too. Prayers to all going through their challenges 🙏
Jean, I am very sorry to hear that your husband is at a stroke that has affected his mobility and care. Life throws us so many things sometimes that we can’t understand. Thank you for caring for him and I know the way that is on your shoulders. Please stay strong and know that I am praying for your strength along the way.❤️
Yes, dear Sandra and sister women, it seems that Heartbreak can expand our capacity to love even deeper and wider. So much depends on staying openhearted in this lifetime. You gave me compassionate closure in the past concerning a man with same mental illness that I loved. I just barely escaped from him and your understanding was liberating. We are powerful beings who can help each other to heal! Yes it does take courage to be a peaceful warrior, survivor!
That’s what it’s all about, Joy. Helping one another through life. Your kindness makes me realize that we can be a comfort and shoulder to those who need our help.❤️
I have just been listening to you Sandra on this "little Christmas night" or as we call it in Ireland "nollag na Mban" womens Christmas ----a day when we women are mindful of ourselves and in theory have a treat day. I only wish that women who have not been able to enjoy this day for whatever reason , could have listened to you. What honest, wise, insightful advise you shared with us all. It is relevent to everyone . We may not have problems just at the moment but life will deal us difficult cards at some stage and It's how we play that hand that will make or break us. I thank you so much for sharing your challenges with us. I have no doubt it will help many many men and women as they travel on life's journey. You are the voice of experience.
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. What a beautiful tradition you have an Ireland for a woman’s Christmas. A day when women are aware of who they are. It’s so nice to have a special day this time of year. Life throws us thing sometimes that we don’t think we can survive but we are strong and with faith move on and learn from those adversities, do t we? Thank you so very much for sharing the story of ‘little Christmas night’ with us. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I was married for 23 years to a man that was bipolar. So much happened that I don’t talk about. I finally divorced him and now My youngest son was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He lives with me now. I was thinking I needed to share and talk about it but where do you begin. I wish we had this you tube back when all this was happening. God bless you and bring you peace.
Sandra, thank you for telling your testimony and reminding me that I am resilient beyond belief. I am too a survivor, but of abuse and attempted murder. I was just 23, and had to completely move away and start over. Once I was finally out I felt so free and at peace, but also confused and heartbroken. I still have a lot of pieces that are reappearing in my mind, and I still have a lot of healing to do. I have come far in the last 3 years. It's been proof that am capable of absolutely anything.
Sandra, from one survivor to another, thank you for sharing your story with others. I am grateful, every day, that I made it through those dreadful times. My husband was never diagnosed, and it took thirty years for me to realize his illness. It's so important to seek help from professionals. I blamed myself. I can't express how vital your courageous message is to the world. God bless you.
Hello Sandra, I read your book, it's written great. In a way, I found myself in your book. Now you are giving so many people courage and confidence with your channel. Thank you for always being so positive, empathetic and motivating. xo
Rita, so you already know my story. I am so happy that you’re part of my bag of marbles here on my channel. I always enjoy your support and hearing from you.❤️
My first husband was bipolar and took his life 27 years ago. My children were 11 & 13 at the time. Life was challenging before and after his death. I learned a lot about myself, and learned I was stronger than I thought. I now understand that I’m a survivor and that God had a plan for all of us in this journey. Raising my children gave me focus and strength. My husband used to tell me that the kids and I would be better off without him. I felt so much guilt when I realized that we were in many respects. But, this was our destiny. I know this now. I’m so sorry for all you and your children experienced. It’s life altering for all…living with and without. You are so strong! Life is an up and down journey for everyone at some point. Nobody gets a free ride. Their challenges may not be as extreme as others, but we all have challenges nonetheless. Thank you for sharing. Life is good!
Debbie Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me. We both understand about living with someone who is mentally ill. I felt guilty of the relief I felt when I was finally free. But I know that it allowed me to move forward in my life and to raise my children as you did in a better environment without chaos and fear. Thanks again.
Sandra, what a powerful message. It brought tears to my eyes as I could have done with hearing that as a teenager with children in a loveless, empty marriage. What my children suffered through emotional neglect is something I felt guilty about most of my life. I still worry now, if they experience unhappiness or not seem to be managing a crisis. But I suppose that’s part of being a mother. Keep sharing your message because we are stronger than we think! We can do it! Tell someone until you find someone to hear you! One of the things I would done have done differently in retrospect is to have asked for support. I felt powerless and overwhelmed and to have had encouragement from someone who had come through a similar experience to myself would have helped me to make better decisions. It’s never too late to change. Blessings to you Sandra
Maree, aren’t we always smarter in hindsight. I would’ve done so many things differently, too, but I had to go through the experience to learn. You wrote such a beautiful and heartfelt comment. I am sure your children as adults understand the sacrifices you made and the drama you were going through. I feel, also, that sometimes I was not there emotionally enough for children my children because I was so preoccupied with survival. We are only human.❤️
YOU, dear lady, are a total, supreme inspiration. You have dug in your heels and resisted the horrors of aging. You have shown the world of fearful travelers, novices, all...that life can be graceful, dynamic and very rich in experiences, even after most souls who've become quietly invisible, have been discarded. Your grit causes passion to be fully restored to each who carefully learn from your gifts on TH-cam. I discovered you a week ago. Needless to say, it was a wonderful week.
Welcome. I’m always happy to have a new subscribers to join us great community that we have here. I appreciate your kind words and hope you will share your thoughts often
I so appreciate your story. I’m a 60 yo woman who experienced my mother not survive this. I was 15 yo and understood what was going on. She was courageous! He just won. This has empowered me to not only allow myself to engage in healthy relationships, but teach my daughters to do the same. I’m so blessed that they do so. It’s a rough road. The strong walk it successfully.
Tears were dripping out of my eyes listening to your story. Although I escaped an abusive man, just short of being murdered myself, the bashing down through life due to different situations can be overwhelming. Raising my son on my own was challenging and we didn't have a lot, but I did it. You are an inspiration to all going through hard times. Much appreciation to you.
I cried listening to your journey. I cried bc I know that journey myself. We survivors of abuse can hear the pain and strength in each other’s words. I’m so happy you found your way through and out of the darkness. By the mercy and grace of God, I did as well. I still watch over my shoulder and think twice before answering my front door without looking first. I long for the freedom of peace of mind... peace in my soul. Not only for myself, but like you said, ESPECIALLY for my children. Thank you so much for sharing your victory.❤️
Anna, thank you for letting me know that you also have had this similar experience. Unless someone has walked in our shoes they honestly can’t really know how frightening it can be to fear for your life every single day. I am so happy you were scape and you’re able to have a bit of peace of mind. We all have our challenges and they’re not always as critical as ours but each of us are survivors in our own way❤️
I am 61 years old and I enjoy listening to your advice on aging even though I am a male, it is good advice for all of us who are aging. Thank you for your wonderful insights.
Sandra, thank you so very much for sharing something so personal from your life... you give hope, understanding, compassion and love in this video... you are truly a remarkable woman... I always thought that since I found your channel... today’s video just solidified that!... I am so sorry you had to go through such heartache and heartbreak... but, as you said, it made you who you are today... I am honored to know you via TH-cam... and honored to have been a part of hearing your story... thank you again, so very much!... please stay safe and healthy!..much love and appreciation!💜💜💜💜💜
Hello Linda. I am always hesitant to share such personal information, but I think maybe I went through all of this so that I can share and help others who may be struggling in some sort of survival situation. Thank you so very much for your kind comment.❤️
Sandra, Thank you so much for this message. I read your book and still remember the moment when you realized that he intended to harm you - and started fighting back. So glad to hear that you go to women's shelters and speak there. You are so very talented in communication and are using it now to help other women who started in love but found out that they had to take another path.
Thank you so very much for reading my book. I really feel that I’m giving back when I go into women shelter to try to help them build her self-confidence and survive for another wonderful chapter in their lives. Thank you very much again.❤️
My thoughts and actions exactly. It took me 12yrs after my divorce (32yrs of marriage) to find my feet and not feel so lost. We also never had children and in a way it lessened the financial burden but contributed to the loneliness since my husband was my immediate family. What I also found was that my life got better when I learned to forgive myself and my journey taught me compassion for people's hardships and definately made me a better person. I'm still single but do not feel so lost anymore. Read somewhere that the storms we encounter in our life is not there to destroy us but to clear our paths. Thank you Sandra for your very true and inspiring words. God bless🙏
Hi Sandra. My husband died suddenly a few months ago. His heart stopped while he was reading a bedtime story to our 2 year old son. He was 32. I struggle with accepting that this is my life now, my old life taken from me, a new unknown path in front of me. I find comfort in your words and I just wanted you to know I appreciate you sharing your story, and respect your advice. One day at a time.
Meagan, I am so sorry that you lost your husband so prematurely. Often times we wonder why life has dealt us what is has and we struggle with wondering if we will be able to survive. Your new life will be focused on raising your child and doing the best for him that you can. There is a new chapter being written for you now. Back then I never dreamed that I would have the life I have now. Please know that there is a wonderful new life waiting for you. A new beginning. Take your time to heal and step at a time it will unfold. My thoughts are with you. ❤️
Thank you for sharing your story. On July 22, 2019, my husband of 20 years was hit and killed by a train. Our marriage wasn’t great either and after he died, I found out things about him I had no clue about. He was deceptive. I was so angry at him and I didn’t think I had grieved, but maybe my anger at him was part of it. Like you, I’m starting over with my teenage daughter. I have to figure out my purpose after she graduates high school. I love nature and feel closer to God in it. I’ve decided to move away from the busy Dallas area to Arkansas where it’s SO beautiful, and open a BNB. I love beautiful homes, nature, and being kind to others. This will be my new purpose. ❤️
Carole, I’m sorry that you had to go through the trauma that you did. In the end you realized what is so important in your life and what you want to do with it. Moving to Arkansas sounds perfect. Starting over and having a new beginning sometimes is the most healing thing that can happen to us. Best of luck to you and keep in touch so that we know how you are doing❤️
Hi Sandra My name is Maria, I’m 63yrd old, I’m from Curitiba Brazil. We all need to do something good to overcome our pain. In my case I chose to study English and following one advice I’m trying to turn my pain into poetry. One day I was looking for a beautiful thing to listen to in English and the TH-cam brought you to me. You have a calm voice that is clear to understand. I like to listen to your advice and also like to read the comments. You have a very rich life story, so do your followers. Thank you for sharing. It takes a lot of strength and courage to overcome that days. Maybe one day I’ll be able to write a poetry in English or maybe I will find someone willing to help me! I hope so! God bless us all.
Thank you for sharing. Living in survival mode during the last 12 yrs is taking a toll my mental and physical health but after watching your video along with a few other ones, I realize I just have to except that loss, pain, regrets, and disappointments are just part of life. The last 5 years has been particularly hard with love ones passing away. It's now just me and my last dog. Time is no longer on my side and his, so I'm just going to accept the pain, do what I have to do to move forward. I take things hour by hour, and make sure I put time in creating joy even if it's only an hour a day. I look forward to watching your other videos.
It's so hard when you realize most of the people you loved are gone. But you know what? You're still here. The people you loved would want you to find some joy in your life. There's still more to learn and experience.
I listened to you and allowed myself to visualize how I could do and be who I wanted to be. I’m a widow with grown children that I feel I am still responsible for making happy. I don’t have to be the provider. I can be the cheerleader for them but I don’t have to be their financial and emotional support system. I long to be on my own, be alone with myself and my dreams. They don’t ask me to be everything for them. I just do things out of habit. Thank you for sharing your words and encouragement.
Carolyn, it really is important that you are a support system for them emotionally emotionally. It’s now time to start doing things for yourself and not feeling guilty about it. We mothers sometimes find it hard to let go of caring for everyone around us. We must realize now that the caring should to be for us..Start enjoying your life and living your dreams while still loving your children.❤️
You are so strong!!! The video has great advise, I like that you took it one day at a time....the big picture can be so overwhelming in any circumstance. I also LOVE that instead of becoming hard and bitter on life that you came out more compassionate & loving.
Doris, I know that when people are faced with struggles like this one can become bitter and hardened and suspicious of what life is going to bring tomorrow, but I chose to believe that good things were still out there ready and waiting for my family and myself.❤️
I am 54 years old and have too , like many of us, gone through hardships. I am so glad I found your channel ! The inspiration and advice you give is priceless!👍🏼💕
Hi Sandra, I too was in a abusive relationship & one day when my daughter was 13 months old I decided not to walk home & not to go back. Decided to not get her baby pics etc etc as I knew if I went back I’d be stuck forever. At first you have no plans, no $ no drivers license & almost no hope. I’m a survivor. My daughter is now 21 & I was so afraid of another abusive relationship that I remained single as it was safer alone with her. And I too felt relieved when her father over dosed as the threat was now gone (although we had left 10 years prior to his passing) Thanks for sharing. Now we are living each moment & I think we appreciate each moment more once we had survived. 💕
My dad had a mental problem and my mom kept thinking “It will get better, it will be different next time.” Yeah, right. She finally divorced him after years of psychological damage to the whole family.
This is crazy I'm 65yrs old never had children my husband passed away 11months ago I lost everything, house, car, had to sell my furniture to survive. I miss him so very bad had a beautiful marriage. I found out all the money was gone. No family, so I prayed and thank God I got his pension and SS and life insurance. Just starting to realize I'm on my own but I'm surviving. Thank you for this story have been having a bad two weeks. Now I'm saving money to buy a Condo by the end of the year.
Pearl, You are definitely a survivor and I wish you well and being able to get your condo by the end of the year. That will make everything you went through worth the survival mode that you had to be in. I’ll be thinking about you and hoping that your dreams do come true.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart thank you, God Bless❤❤🙏🙏🙏
and it is not only about $$$$ but do empathize with you
Pearl..sending you courage, blessings...you got this.
It's not about money IF you have it! I ended up homeless for 10yrs. Most of everything was stolen by family I had helped and invited in to my home. I was very ill at the time almost died. They got access to my bank. I'm alone totally. Idk how I will live alone I'm 65.?
Sandra, thank you so much for sharing your story. I too am a survivor. When my children were 3 and 1, my husband announced he did not want to be married any more. He moved our furniture out of our house, deposited it in my mother’s garage, turned the house and car over to the bank. I was homeless with two babies. I was devastated, homeless and alone. My father had just died, my mother was not in a position to take us in. In those years, there was little help for women. Eventually, I realized God would take care of me, I found a job, found someone to care for my daughters while I worked, and began my new life.
In those years being divorced carried a stigma of “broken home”, I hated that. I was shy and insecure, but my children were my priority. With no child support and their father rarely surfacing, suddenly without notice, (he had a girlfriend), he kidnapped the girls. Again at that time there was little help for women. I took on a second job to finance my search for them and lawyers fees. It took me 10 months to find them. Then I was told by lawyers that my chances of getting them back was very slim. After all, possession was 9/10ths of the law and after all, I was a working mother. God smiled on me, I did get them back.
The saga did not end there. Seven years later, I remarried. I had visions of raising my children in a two parent environment. We even had a third child.... but the dream of happiness dissolved as my new husband, a Vietnam vet, sunk into ptsd, depression and uncontrolled alcoholism. He would become violent, his behavior was erratic, Children and Youth told me that if I did not find a safe place for my children, that they would. Once again I was on my own with my daughters. My first husband’s location was unknown so there was no child support, I worked and raised my girls frugally. But we got by, I always said, don’t worry God will take care of us! He did.
As I write this, I am now 74, my youngest daughter passed away from addiction, leaving me with a grandson to raise. I was a mom for 50 years, I had children from each decade: ‘69, ‘72, ‘81, and ‘97. They are all grown up now, I am finally an empty nester. Even with life’s challenges, I survived. That’s what being a survivor is, having faith that God will take care of me. We were never rich, but I never told the kids that. We made our own fun and memories.
Thank you for sharing your story. We, as women don’t always realize the strength we have within us to carry on. We just do what we need to do, without question. It is comforting to know that we are not the only ones.
Linda, thank you so much for sharing your story with us. Sharing is really important because your life and your story may help someone else who is going through bad times now. Life does throw us things sometimes that we think we cannot live through, but we do. Women are stronger than we are given credit for. I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all of this and deeply sorry that you lost your youngest child. Addiction sometimes can be genetic if circumstances lead them to substances. Please don’t ever blame yourself. Yours is the story of strength and survival. Your children should be grateful that they had the mother then and that they have you now. Blessings your way. God is good❤️
Sandra, thank you for your reply. There is another thing that we have in common, I also was a Romper Room teacher! I was with WENY ,Elmira, NY. 1969-1972 it ended when Hurricane Agnes flooded the Chemung and Susquehanna Rivers.
@Linda McDermott
Wow, thank you for sharing your story. Every time I read one of the stories they encourage me more and more to just keep going, to keep moving forward… ❤️
Blessing to you and yours…
Linda, thank you for sharing your story. It’s a testimony of your faith and strength. I’m so touched and inspired by you. Thank you 🙏
Your story is so touching! 🥲🥲I am sorry you had to endure so much pain...but not only did God take care of you, He will wipe away any tear from your eyes and your suffering will be forgotten. Be blessed!
My Mom would say "When you have your head in the lions mouth you have to ease it out slowly. "
What a smart mother you had. I don’t think I ever heard that saying before, but isn’t it so true. Thank you again.❤️
I love this quote so much 💜💜💜
That’s a beautiful saying. I think it is true most of the time unless one’s life is in imminent danger.
It is easy to say and hard to do ,Oh my God I do not know what would of I do ,If i was in that situation ,I Was listening and unfortunately think I would of quit and leave :(
@@diamondsngunns88 ))
My wife had so many things happen to her that by the time I meet she were always jerk away if I tried to touch her face,I knew something had happened but waited for her to tell me...I was amazed and shock because she's the sweetest person I know and I'm thankful that God brought her to me...
I'm angry and saddened to read how many women are mistreated....
To all the women I'm truly sorry for the pain you have endure..
❤❤ what a nice bloke you are, empathy is my most respected quality in a man. Good on you.👍👍
Thank you for this. Lucky enough to have a patient, understanding hubby like you. Unfortunately the gentlest of us seem to be targets, good men speaking out are part of the cure. 🙏
Your advice work for 51 year-old men sitting on the fence. I feel like I needed to hear this. You are a strong person. I hope your children are proud of their mother - most people would have collapsed, mentally. I watched my mother drink herself to an early death, after my father left us for my mother's good friend. My father actually tried to give my mother our house and she sold it for nothing and promptly moved us to a rough trailer park. Needless to say, I learned to fight, dropped out of school, eventually went back and earned my MBA, after realizing I'm not tough enough for the streets! I have a great life, wife (of 30 years) and kids.
Sandra, your prose is so beautiful. My husband just passed. Im tryjng to pull myself back up. Im 65. Its especially difficult because of COVID19. No hugs... no people to comfort me. I drove myself to the funeral and drove myself home. I've been alone ever since. But alone can be good cant it? I'm a survivor too.
Thank you for your honesty and help to others who are in a dangerous and difficult situation. Taking a day at a time is important too. I know that's true.
Thank you so much...
We are never alone if we love ourselves. I’m so sorry about the loss of your husband. It can be devastating for us, but we do have to go on because you’re worthy of a life. You are worthy of a good life that will continue. Your memories of him will always be there, but your life ahead can be just as good. You are never alone if you have your faith and your love of yourself.❤️
(Hugs). So sorry for your loss. Hopefully you can use social media in a positive way to reach out to others.
I'm so sorry for your loss Marian.
My friends husband died during the covid shutdown too, isolating us from physical contact. She is a caregiver so we had to be extra careful. I'm so sorry for your loss of your partner and the physical comfort that you need and deserve. Reaching out to others, doing something for yourself to give you comfort and even joy will help you. Don't let hopelessness defeat you, look for inspiration outside of your immediate grief, nature,music,yoga, lighting a candle in memory of him, create something for yourself, reach out to your faith family. You are still hear and your husband would want the best for you. Again I'm so sorry, my prayers go to God for you.
I am so sorry! Sending you hugs from PA!
My dearest friend, you know I understand your difficulties. When my husband was murdered I was left with my 7 sons, aged 9 months to 18 years. My husband was a very good provider and losing him devastated me. I felt so alone and I was scared and depressed, extremely depressed. I moved from New York back to Indiana, close to my mother. I thank God for her strength and wisdom. I was a zombie for 5 years and just existed, I didn't live. I attempted suicide 5 years later and was comatose for 3 months. Once again my mother was my hero, she took care of my broken body and spirit. It has been 25 years since Dennis died and 20 years since my suicide attempt. I am so fortunate to still be here and have such inspiration from you. You touched me with your courage and compassion ❤️ My motto: She thought she could, so she did!
Rhiannon, thank you so very much for sharing your story. We never know what a person’s history is, do we? I can imagine having been left as a young woman with seven children to raise must’ve been so very difficult. I just had three and I know the challenges I had while they were growing up. I’m so happy that you weren’t successful in your attempt 20 years ago to leave us, but the strength of your mother is absolutely a true example of deep love for your children. I’m so happy that you were at a point now where you can live each day to the fullest and appreciate what you have and not what you don’t have. Thank you so much for always being here.❤️
Be blest!☦️👩🏻🦳🐾. 🇺🇸
💐
God bless your mother x
@@dlattimer9949 my mother is blessed in heaven today, I appreciate your kindness
Oh Sandra! I too went through a horrific situation with my ex husband. Everything you said rings so true, especially your last remarks. After all I went through with my ex husband, I lost my teaching job a few years later. At fifty seven, it’s almost impossible to get a new position, so I took a job overseas in the Middle East and never looked back. I worked seven years in Kuwait. It offered me an opportunity to to travel and make enough money to pay off my mortgage and put away money for retirement. So yes, sometimes the worst days of our lives can open the doors to the best days ahead. Never give in to despair and hopelessness. Take one day at a time and don’t dwell on the past. The best is yet to come!
Charlotte, thank you so very much for sharing your positive story with us. I always believe that things that happen to us could be turned into something positive. You are a true example of that. I really appreciate your telling us how you made a life for yourself out of negative circumstances ❤️.
Charlotte kluever very well done.x
@@janeyd5280 thank you!
You are a wise woman and will have wonderful memories of your adventures to share!
@@paulalane8638 well thank you so much. I met many wonderful friends from across the globe. It was a wonderful experience. God’s plans are always better than our plans.
A psychiatrist phoned me and said, “ How long would you husband last in prison?” I told him that he would not last three days. He said, “If you won’t leave him to save your life, maybe you will leave him to save his life.” I am now with a great man and am very contented.
What a great phone call to get. How smart was he. Not only did you have to save you life... ❤️
Wow I love this
My brother was paranoid schizophrenic and died suddenly a few years ago . I broke my heart but also sadly was a relief. He was homeless most of his adult life and self-medicated with drugs and alcohol his body finally gave out. I will never forget the times he was happy and when he was a kid and am looking forward to seeing him again in heaven. ❤
@@Juanitajam if only it were that easy. We did help him as much as he would let us. We would get him into housing etc and everything would seem fine for a brief time and then suddenly he would be gone without a word to anyone. We wouldn't know where he was for months while he was hitchhiking and self medicating across the country. It's very hard to keep a grown man safe that is too paranoid to stay in one place or on his prescribed meds.
@@Juanitajam such an ignorant comment you obviously have no clue how mental illness works. You Cannot help a family member who suffers from mental illness & you can't force them to get help or to take their medication You have to let them go to save yourself & your sanity.
L
That must have been so hard. Such love too 💕 for them.
Why did you not help him? 😅
I to survived a nightmare of a marriage to a man who had a drug addiction and mental health issues. He took me to depths of dispare, depression and almost killed me. He left me after 10 years of marriage with $400 at a motel 8 in 1997. It was the best thing he ever did for me. It forced me to get strong real fast! Today I have a strong 21 year marriage to a super man. It's amazing when you think you can't go on, you find that little spark that's left inside that nudges you to take that first step into rebuilding your life and yourself. Great story💜
Sassy, i’m sorry you had to go through that, but yours is a wonderful story of survival. Good for you. I am so happy that you share this with us and I hope all of my subscribers will read your story. It is evidence there is another chapter that can be so much better in your life.❤️
My crusty still heart took a breath, and expanded. You are hope and grace personified.
I believe you have a warm heart, and it’s not as crusty as you say. Thank you so much for your kindness.❤️
Susan B your comment is poetic, despite the brevity of it. Write, my dear!!!
Hello Susan
@@kathyhayden3787 Hello Kathy
I literally just found this station. Thanks, Sandra. I’m 56. I want to be graceful and dignified as you are.
I am 35yrs old woman from pakistan ..i am a muslim....i loved your courage...passion....positivity...contentment about life...hats off to u ladies.....
Look at that…9.2k people received this life-changing message. I can only imagine how different the world will be as elders like you share their stories and wisdom. It was silence and secrecy that made us the shame and fear-based women we used to be. Much gratitude for you and all women who add their voices to the narrative of history.
Thank you so very much❤️
I am 32 and find your videos hugely meaningful. Its like guidance, wisdom you wish you had in life 🙏🏼
Lived with a narcissist, divorced 10 years on, trying hard to move on mentally, he is still in our lives because of the children.... I loved the video.. Working hard at moving on. I am a survivor.
Because of the children. I truly understand. You will get there because you are a survivor. Thank you for sharing.
It is so difficult to see the truth of the narcissist/psychopathic personality. Pray and persevere my friends🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️
awww, Sandra I don't know what to say. I am in tears and my heart is full. I feel so much admiration for you, and yes, sadness, too. What a woman you are. Love and thank you for sharing this journey with us. You are courageous. Love, Melissa
Thank you so very much Melissa. Life sometimes throws those things that are unexpected, but we are strong enough to survive them. Thank you so much for watching today. Love you.❤️
Melissa55,you must be a kind 💓 being ☺️🤙
@@lifewithsandrahart Yes thank you so much Sandra Life is not an easy journey and thank you for all you share too Melissa 55 I know that we all have our heartbreaks and must trust God for healing
DEAREST LIFE OVER SIXTY WITH SANDRA , YOU ARE VERY BEAUTIFUL NOW . JUST IMAGINE WHEN YOU WERE MUCH YOUNGER . WITH LOVE , PRAYERS , HUGS , AND SWEET KISSES . FROM ME , AND MY FAMILY , " THE ROTHSCHILD'S . FAREWELL MY LOVE 😊😍😘
You Are A Boss💕
Sandra I thank God for you. At 82 you say you're going through the best time of your life, wow!!
It’s true
I’m a survivor from an uncles’s sexual assault on me, my sister was there also. We didn’t tell my parents, my father had just survived a heart attack. So 40 years later my depression made me finally talk about it. Thank you Sandra your an inspiration ❤️
Dear Linda,
I was molested by my uncle when I was about 9 years old and I also didn't tell my mother until I was 17.
It really did warp my soul for a long time.
My dad still doesn't know because he has stents in his arteries and he's been let down enough times already.
Roland: You post a lot of these similar comments. One can easily assume that you're catfishing.. If so, you should be completely ashamed.
@@joseh3564 he's a Nigerian romance scammer 😂
Much love to you, Linda. may your path be filled with kindness and happy days ahead
When I spoke up about it my own mother said literally I don’t believe you.
Thank you so much. I really needed that "pep talk". I am 45 years old and single. I lost my only child 3 years ago due to accidental drug overdose. She was 27. I had her when I was 13 and im sure you can imagine the struggles and such with being a teen raising a baby. I did the best I could through the years but I feel I obviously didn't do good enough. She was the center of my universe, my daughter and my best friend. Im plagued with severe depression and can't get it together. I have a handful of family and friends luckily that have supported me despite my poor me mentality I can't seem to get away from. We all have our stuff but I feel like I died when she did. Im so stuck I can't even remember when I felt ok. Hearing your story, your words, and how you say it spoke deeply to my soul. Thank you.
Wendy, my son and his family just left to go back home and I know the emptiness I’m feeling right now. So I cannot imagine the loss of a child and the heartache that remains with you every single day of your life. We are not meant to outlive our children. Your daughters choice was hers and you mustn’t blame yourself for losing her. I am sure you were the best mother that you could have been. 13 is very young to be a mother because you were actually still a baby yourself. She is no longer in pain and you must be grateful for the years that you had together with her. I do know they have group counseling for parents who have lost their child and you might want to research to see if there’s one in your area. That way you could be with like minded people who can understand exactly what you’re going through. Please let the wonderful memories of the good times you had together start your day every day. My thoughts are with you, because I know what it is to be a mother and how much love you and I have as a parent. ❤️
@Wendy Butler, please try to find a support group like Susan recommended. You don't have to talk, just listen to the others who want to help you. God bless you!
@Wendy Butler
Wendy, I'm reading your message at 5 months later. Hoping your heart has received some healing and that you are doing better. Jesus loves you and so do I. God bless.❤️🙏💐
Wendy, I'm so sorry for your loss precious lady. Please, please get some help with your grief through grief counseling. It is so helpful. You deserve to feel better. Please don't blame yourself. it's not your fault.
Wendy, there are no words. Meds sometimes help you to sleep & eat. Some of us are so lonely. Your attitude is fine. Your feelings are in turmoil. Of course. One day at a time. It is bloody rough.
I really admire you, Sandra. Dealing with such a loss at that time was even more challenging than today. There weren’t many resources. I was born in 1959, and my mom was widowed about 6 weeks after I was born - on Christmas Eve, and my brother was only 3. She didn’t get much help from anyone, but she worked her buns off and survived. It wasn’t until I was a mom myself at 23 that I started to realize how much she really went through. My mom was a remarkable woman, and so are you!
My beautiful daughter suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. It’s a daily struggle dealing with her. She thinks there is nothing wrong with her. My faith in Jesus Christ keeps me going. Please pray that she will realize she needs help. We all have our struggles. Thank you for this message.
LINDA, unfortunately, that is one of the symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia. The patient thinks that they are well. That is what happened to my husband. He thought there was nothing wrong with him, but there was something wrong with us. When he was medicated it was a different story entirely. Please, I don’t know how old your daughter is, but it really is important that she takes her medication. I certainly will pray that she will resume taking medication that will help stabilize her. I know how how difficult this must be for you. Is there any else outside of your family who can reason with her? I’ll be hoping and thinking of you. ❤️
Hello Linda
@@lifewithsandrahart Unfortunately, there usually is no reasoning with someone when they are mentally ill. Just get them on medications that work for them and keep them on it.
I understand ,,,my son has the same mental illness ... Everyday is such a struggle ...
@@annm3968 Hello Ann
I agree. Nobody has a perfect life. That is not why we are here. Life is hard because that's what makes us learn and evolve.
That is really true. Thank you for reminding us.❤️
Melinda Santa Cruz a test for what???
@@Pisces3139 In my NDE...I was shown it was for spiritual growth. Death is an illusion, the soul doesn't die.
@@mrs.stripedpajamas5426 I just heard the exact same thing on a Cosmic Disclosure show last night! This retired CIA agent said that there are so many other "beings" here on earth and inside the earth, and they all say how enormous the human soul is. He said they told him humans usually have about 200-300 lives before we finally get it right. He said the keys were to live life with 1. Integrity 2. Without hate 3. Without Envy 4. Without Greed 5. And to tell our family we love them every single day. 🙏🏻⚛️
Well some had easy life and dont deserve it.
Thanks you! Two years ago my twin brother was brutally murdered by a complete stranger. I have had a very hard time and at times have thought of giving up of the world. I miss my twin brother very much and wish there was a support group.
Goldie, I would check to see, maybe you already have, if there is a support group in your area. There usually is some type of bereavement group. Often it is connected with a hospital in your area. Also, therapy does help. I know when we had the situation that we had high and all of my children went into therapy and it really did help us cope understand and to move forward in our lives. Best of luck to you and I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this terrible traumatic loss. ❤️
i am a twin. . stay strong you will be with your twin again .. hon on there . lone a great life for your twin
I experienced similar situation. My late husband was an user, abuser and on top of it he cheated on me. I was too ashamed to tell anyone. When he died, I felt so relieved that my children are I could finally live. I experienced nightmares for several years after his death.
I brought up my two kids on own and just want to live a simple life. Don't need a man to make me happy and complicate my life and my children's.
Thank you Sandra for sharing your story with us. Wish happiness to all independent women.
Dear Sandra, I enjoy your advice. They are helping me a lot! I am a 56 year old lady. I am a widow with no children. I am Nicaraguan. My husband was from the USA. I found out that I have to wait until I reach 60 for his pension. I am on my own now. It has been hard, but life goes on and I have to reinvent myself once again. Thanks for being there Sandra. Saludos desde Nicaragua.
That was the most eloquent, gutsy, classy thing I have ever watched. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you Sandra. I too was ignorant & naive about my husband’s issues, and spent 50 yrs hoping & praying that each new day would be better... but that didn’t happen.
Georgie, it very rarely does! It took me longer than it should have and you and I are both not alone. no one gave us a guide book.❤️
Dear Georgie,
Yes, hope is not a strategy or a plan; it is merely an emotion. Been there, too. Not until I had a solid plan did things turn around.
Natalia
Great counsel, beautiful elder. As a girl of 16 in my mother's mind i became her mortal enemy of her and my 4 younger siblings. She never loss display of her fear, resentment and belief until her second stroke with a resulting memory loss.I had lived quite reclusively as the eldest caretaker of the younger siblings. The accusation and rejection was devastating. I survived but not recovered. I suffered depression and feared for my own sanity. God is merciful, had always been with me. I am also over 60. I have hope and gratitude for my life that belongs to Christ.
I’m so sorry to hear about your young struggles with your mother. My cousin had the same problem with her mother and it does affect us greatly when the person we depend upon for love and support is not always there for us. I really appreciate you sharing your story today with us because I think it might help someone else, too.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart I really believe there was somethings in our environment that was in initiating a rash of PS. The victims of that disease seemed to be quite intelligent also. Perhaps it was perceiving lies or incongruousies.
At 63 I have recently been feeling like my time is over. All the things I have not accomplished r not worth doing now, even tho they were incredibly important a few years ago. Thank u for your encouragement and inspiration
Ginger, it is never too late to realize your dreams. Please don’t ever forget that. You can still do the things that you want in this life. You just have to take action ❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart thank u
@Ginger Lancaster, your time is so not over! I don't know what you were wanted to accomplish, but there is always so much more in life. I'm 67 and have so many ideas of things to do. I'm semi-retired, work from home for 2 years now, have a growing Ebay shop of things in my own home, or that I have inherited or bought at flea markets and thrift shops. I have to do 99% of everything here as my husband is disabled , has 3 stents in his heart, and has hydrocephaly or water on the brain and we are awaiting surgery. I have many bad days and recently thought I was getting pneumonia again and wound up in the ER . they did a chest Xray and found it clear and said It was probably severe allergies, stress, and a panic attack. I was so worried I would get sick and couldn't take care of him. Once they told me that I was fine. anyway, maybe you can make a new bucket list of things to do. Hope this helps! God bless you!
don't be so sure it's "over". I wrote my first book at 50 and my 6th at 70. Life may have other plans for you too!
You were one of the lucky ones...when I decided I had to survive, the hard choices I made turned everyone against me...yes, even my family...they had no idea I never had a peaceful nights sleep in 11 years, but they were eager to help him become my stalker. I moved out of state, had to leave children behind, couldn't take them out of state after the divorce was final...so, I became the "bad" person...they helped him...I changed my phone # and my mother gave him my unlisted number! I was beyond desperate when he told my mother he'd hired someone to kill me. Three thousand miles away and he continued to threaten my life all day and night until the day he finally died when an aneurysm burst in his throat and he drowned in his own blood. If you live by the sword, you die by the sword. Sandra, I just stumbled upon your channel and I'm so glad...I've already learned so much. I wish I'd heard this twenty years ago, I thought I was the only one...thank you, you're beautiful inside and out!
You are not alone. So many of us have had things happen to us in our lives that we never asked for. Fear that was set upon us by another who is trying to control our life. Mental illness affects all those around a person who is ill. My late husband charmed the world until he was eventually murdered. It is a story that is told so often. We are both lucky to still be alive. Thank you so much for sharing and I’m so happy to have you here.❤️
❤❤❤
These kind of men are so underestimated by people that have no idea how they operate, and they don't want to know either. That's fine, cut them off your life completely and never look back. There's great help and support and real security for victims of these TYPE of criminals, male or female. So very dangerous to children especially. Greatest relief is when it's truly ended.
I have been in your shoes! Family can be toxic and you must disengage.
Same here,i couldn't believe my mum and siblings would betray me.This kind of things change a persons life forever,i cannot trust a relative again.
I'm surprised your story ended up like mine.
My oldest sister suffered from the same mental illness and when she unexpectedly died it was a relief for the whole family. I think it was a relief for her too, odd as that may sound to some people.
Sara, if anyone understands. I do. The fear of living with someone who is schizophrenic and also the sadness you feel for that person is very hard. They do have better medications today, but living with someone who has mental illness is not an easy life. For them or for their loved ones. Thank you so much for sharing your story today with all of us.❤️
Hello Sara
No it is not odd...we all have or know someone that has passed and is not at peace and so is everyone else...life can be so sad!😥
How weird that your name is Sara spelled just like my beautiful sister Sara who died at 45 from alchoholism...that is how I understand what you mean....she is at peace and so are all of us....we miss her terribly BUT not all the drama that went on for years!🌺🙏
@@kimkeck6266 Our lives are meant to be lived by expressing, and not by impressing others.
Always keep a go bag with underwear, etc- 3 days of clothing, Dental supplies, any meds even OTC, a credit card that he doesn't know about and that is not billed to your address along with your house and car keys so they can grab it and go. I can tell you I was never so frightened as when my husband took my keys and I had no escape.
Or if your husband is always locking you outside then put some cash, a credit card that he doesn't know about that is not Bill to your house (so that he can't follow your movements), along with copies of your house and vehicle keys in a fake rock outside, in case he locks you out.
If I had thought about it, I probably should have put my stuff in plastic boxes (if they had them back then) and put them in our crawl space under the house- in case he would have changed the locks. But since I was the handy woman I was sure that he didn't change the locks and I got right in. It was scary while we were loading up but prepacking 2 months prior had helped to be able to get in and out.
Keep dreaming to keep hope alive.
This really hit home for me . I’ve never asked for help whether out of fear or embarrassment. I finally reached out for help and looking forward to moving on. It only took me 34 years of marriage to realize I can’t save him ( mental illness) or anyone else. I can only save myself. Amazing video Thank you!!!!!! I’m so excited to have my safe haven and not live in fear. Xoxo
Dawn, You and you alone can be the captain of your destiny when you’re in a situation like that. I’m so happy that you reached out and got help so that you can move forward in your life. I have been there and I know how difficult it is. Best of luck to you and please let me know how you will be doing.❤️
Hello Dawn
Hello
That statement is so true !!! You cannot save anyone , can give some help but if they don’t take it it’s their journey in the end . Everyone takes their own journey with God !!! God Bless !!!
It really does depend on situation. Sandra i don't think your husband's diagnosis was the kind of thing where acceptance comes right away. Some things need the 5 stages of grief bf final acceptance. And hope springs eternal
Wow, Sandra ! How did you know that I needed to hear your words today. I am almost 80 years of age and will be living alone without the support that I've been having, and I'm scared. Listening to you has given me hope that I can do this. Thank you so much, and Bless you ! Marti in B.C. Canada
Praying for you Marti 🙏 🌟
Hi Marti, sending my love to you as like your son ..! And will keep you in my prayers 🙂
You can do it!
You are describing my marriage and my story. My husband was an alcoholic. I have been free since 2014. Every single thing you describe is so accurate. I am so grateful that I have a good job, my daughters are okay, and I am okay. I feel like I have a bit of PTSD after everything I went through (23 years of marriage), but am doing well.
We do suffer from PTSD. It’s a reality. But being able to move forward with positivity and acceptance of our past is the key. Thanks for sharing your story.❤️
My ex had the same illness,
I got divorced , I moved on re married and at 45 I had a second child. I'm now a 68 y o grandma
and life is much better. But you are
Totally correct you have to tell someone I told a therapist. It's hard
To break free but worth it. Be proud
Of your accomplishment's .
My ex threatened to kill me & his
Mother said they could inject me with insulin in a mole ,she was a diabetic. I had a good job which saved me . The hardest thing is
Breaking the bond he was
My husband for 24 years.
I don't hate him but feel sorry for his
2and wife she's a total mouse🐁.
Rick Holt Hi , I’m so happy you shared your survival story with us. It is so worth it to be free to have a better chapter in your life. Thank you very much for sharing your story with us.❤️ How lucky you ran in the opposite direction!!
Even as a 26 year old, your courage and grace is so inspiring to me. I will take your words to heart and use them in any applicable circumstances. I'm so sorry for what you went through. I believe there is survival capability in us all, even if we need some help getting to that point. Thank you so much for your video.
Maria, One is never too young to start understanding who they are and to try to live the best life they possibly can. Good for you. You’re getting an early start and shaping and building your character and life. Always moving forward in the right direction will help you no matter what circumstances come your way. Thank you ever so much for joining us today and sharing your story.❤️
Dear Sandra Thank You 🙏 I am a survivor as well ,my special son died suddenly 6 years ago it was such a shock and totally unexpected.He was a beautiful soul .Like you I just take each day as it comes although it’s hard sometimes. I am so sorry as you had children to look after and keep safe.l am so glad you met your lovely husband and have the life you deserve.Sending a big hug 🤗 Xxx
Thank you very much, Christine. Life does throw us things that we feel our souls can barely stand. But we do, don’t we? I’m so sorry you lost your son that must’ve been extremely painful then and now for you. You have survived, though, and know that his memory lives on through you.❤️
This is the content that TH-cam is made for. Thank you for being here, your words mean so much.
I ENJOYED YOUR VIDEO. I AM 71 AND HAVE HAD MY LIFE OF BEING FULL, OF JOY, SORROW, SADNESS, AND STILL THANKFUL. I FEEL I CAN BE COMFORTABLE NOW, AND NOT TO WORRY. YOU SPOKE SO MANY TRUTHS, AND HAVE DONE A WONDERFUL JOB OF GROWING. THANK YOU1
Diane, By the time we reach 70 we really have had a whole life of ups and downs. But we should never stop growing should we? ❤️
HOW AMAZINGLY INSPIRATIONAL ILL NEVER FORGET THIS .I LOST MY ONLY SON AND NEVER THOUGHT ID GET THROUGH IT BUT YES SANDRA I ALSO WALKED THE FIRE GOD BLESS YOU AND THANK YOU FOR SHARING SUCH A STRONG CLEVER BEAUTIFUL LADY .
You already know how sorry I am that you lost your son. That is probably a mother‘s worst nightmare. But you have shown strength and love and the ability to carry-on in spite of your heartbreak. I am sure your son would be very proud of you.❤️
I’m fearing that now. Can’t get ahold of my son and don’t know what to do. I’ve been through so many traumas, God help me through this one. I’m sorry you’ve lost your son, will keep you and Sandra in my prayers
Oh, Sandra, what an inspiration. I keep trying to remember that as you say, "You're not given anything, you can't survive." I am struggling now accepting and taking care of my husband of 43 years who has vascular dementia. Blessings.
Diane, I emphasize with what you were going through right now. Arthur’s mother suffered from dementia and I took care of her for a long time it can be very difficult when you see a person who used to be completely disappear before your eyes. God bless you and give you strength to keep taking care of him.❤️
Hello, people have reversed symptoms of dementia with coconut oil. Also statin drugs for cholesterol are linked to demential because the remove the good fats that the brain needs. You can look up Jonathan Otto and Anxiety, Depression and Dementia. He has a docu-series going on right now.
My 2nd husband was paranoid schizophrenic also and it got scared when he didn't take his meds. I eventually divorced him after I found out he had killed his 1st wife.
Am glad that you survived and you are here 🙏🙏🙏
I’m so happy you realize that you had to get away. There is no way that anyone can live safely with someone who is a paranoid schizophrenic. I found out the hard way and waited almost too long.❤️
Wow I can’t imagine what you went through. 🙌🏻🙏
I’m so sorry and I don’t mean to come off insensitive but I must ask, how did you find out?
Shanika Anderson she said in the beginning of the video she got a call from authorities
I wouldn't want to do anything like this without God. You do have to stand up and move forward but not alone. Never alone.
Ann. We are never alone if we have faith. ❤️
I love you so much! You have no idea how much joy your videos give me. I'm 28, and just called off my engagement for the same reason my fiancé became very ill with the same illness!!! And we have 50 years between you and I and the same story... I love you so much you bring me so much hope
There is nothing like "having been there" to afford credibility. People will listen to you, Sandra. This is a very valuable public service to your viewers. And you grew...and you grew...and look where you are today. Thank you for sharing yourself, here, and your book with others in oppressive situations, so that they too can have hope.
Thank you for understanding that, Sydney. I do appreciate your kind comment. I hope somehow this will help someone who is trying to survive.❤️
Hello Sydney
Thank you for your beautiful message, my 23 yr old son is in a depression and its so heart breaking.
Nancy, I hope your son is getting therapy and medication for his depression. They have made such advances in helping with depression. I know how hard it must be for you to see him this way. I’ll be thinking of you both.❤️
Allah is the fix, not meds. Depression is from satan, and many youth are taking drugs and they cant fix it. The current world situation bothers us adults, imagine how it is for the younger ones.
Have faith, the creator of the universe has us all in His most capable hands.
Smile a lot, speak to him gently, and dont let fear or anger come between you..satan can not win if you ignore him.
God bless you Sandra. Thank you for the courage to share such a painful part of your Life. You are beautiful inside out , a graceful warrior.❤️
Carolina, thank you.❤️
Hello Carolina
Sandra thank you for sharing your story. My husband of 54 yrs passed away 4 weeks ago. The emotions I am going thru I did not expect. From fear, loneliness, guilt of all the things I did and did not do. You gave me hope, itis soon to start planning. But I do know I need to exercise and leave the house. You inspired me to take a step. Also will practice acceptance. Thank you 🙏
Sorry to hear that you lost your husband so soon. I can imagine what you’re going through. The healing process of grief text many different steps and levels. Getting out of the house and exercising really will help you so much. I’m sorry and I’ll be thinking of you
Dear Sandra...I stumbled in here and was awed by your testimony.
My Mother suffered from mental illness, but thankfully she was not dangerous.
Our society talks about all kinds of things, but mental illness is still a tabu.
I wish this subject were more open for discussion but it is not.
My Mom really tried hard to fight the good fight . . .
Love your You Tube channel and blog! It's so nice to hear a You Tube woman of substance and truly rich in wisdom.
Noelle, I have spent most of my adult life fighting for more openness and discussions about mental illness. The shame should be stripped from mental illness. I have worked very hard to raise money for research on brain behavior. All of the proceeds of my books goes toward research to us help cure and understand the causes of mental illness.( Brain & Behavior Research Foundation) . I am so sorry to hear that your mother had a mental illness but it certainly has made you more compassionate about the topic. Thank you so much for sharing that with all of us❤️
Sandra, thank you for this advice, I lost my mom a month ago, after looking after her and living with her for a few years, I had lived and worked in other countries for many years before I came back to live with my mom, I am so grateful I had those years with my mom, now she is gone, I feel so lost and floundering, almost like I have forgotten what I am capable of, in other circumstances, at 57, I feel it is so difficult to pick up how I used to be. Your words are inspiring, I am sorry for what you and your family went through but I thank you for sharing that. 🌸🌸🙏🌻
Hi Sandra, I think that as we get older the things we fear get more profound. The thought of becoming a widow and all that comes with it, the heartbreak, loneliness, decisions and responsibilities ... getting serious illnesses, our mortality!....thought of these things lurk in us. We must not sell ourselves short. Life is full of challenges and we can do anything as long as we believe that we can. Thank you so much for this video. I am sorry for what you had to endure, it must have been incredibly difficult, wow , talk about PTSD!. I am so happy that you came out so strong on the other side. You are such an inspiration to so many. Have a joy filled week! ❤ Ruth
Ruth thank you so very much for your thoughtful comment. All of the things you say our fears that many of us carry with us and sometimes weigh us down. We just have to try to live in the moment day by day and appreciate each sunrise and each sunset, don’t we? Thank you for all that you said today.❤️
Those fears sure do, my friend. We must seek support and spiritual guidance, as we realize we are not immortal, but finite, and therefore need others outside ourselves to process life. We were created to be social.
Yes....my husband just recently passed from end stage dementia.
The whole experience with the disease was very baffling and at times frightening. Especially now when we all are witnessing life
Changing circumstances with
The pandemic. I am alone and I
HAVE TO MUSTER THE COURAGE TO GO ON. MY LIFE IS STILL HERE
ON EARTH❤😔
I need the courage to continue my journey. Becoming a recent widow with a husband who succumbed to
End stage dementia has been so scary and isolating. I miss him very much, but he is now at peace and whole.....now a different type of isolation with all of us dealing with the pandemic. I pray for strength
Everyday❤😔
You carry yourself with such grace and beauty, it's easy to assume you've led a charmed life. So you have succeeded in forging a life through your pain and stoicism that hides the reality of your struggles. I feel privileged to have found your channel, and am grateful for your message. Love to you.
Thank you so very much Bonnie. I am who I am today because of those struggles and what I learned surviving them
@@lifewithsandrahart Many blessings to you Sandra. 💗
Here here!!! This video is so moving. More people need a role model or a neighbor like Sandra!
Thank you for this. My ex was dangerous, abusive and threatened my life. He devastated me physically, emotionally and financially. He wiped out our savings and left me with debts. No one believed me until I joined a Domestic Violence group.The horrible divorce took years . Later, his next significant other was found hanging in his closet. Thank you for making me feel safe to talk about this.
Lynn, if anyone understands what you’ve been through, I do. I am so happy you got therapy and support from my domestic violence group. You got out in time. I hope you can release and talk about what happened to you because it’s an important part of healing. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us❤️
@lynne pierson: so glad you got out and are safe now. that could have been you if you hadn't. My first ex was abusive physically, got into drugs and cheated on me. I was so scared to do anything to escape. It took me 6 years, but I realized I was beating my head against a brick wall trying to get him to change, and the wall was not moving! My second ex knew my history, but he lied to me and cheated and thought I'd stay with him! No way, the minute I found out, I told him I could never trust him again. and divorced him. My current husband is recently disabled (past 5 years), but we have had a 38 year good marriage, never easy, hard work, but happy. Best wishes to you!
WOW. That's incredible. So glad you got out.
Dear Sandra, if you just knew WHAT kind of help you give and how important your life lessons are, you would be surprised. Your wisdom is so important for me. I am very blessed to have found your channel. Thank you 🙏
It took a lot of love for you to make that video. I felt the love coming from your heart. I too am a survivor. In my case it was my father who terrorized our family. Thanks
Since you kind of walked in my shoes as a survivor, you know exactly what I’m speaking of. Thank you and I hope my video will help some who are afraid to rise up and move on.❤️
Tammie Renee,Your Story touched my heart 💓😪
Sandra im so very sorry thank you for speaking out, my husband is a alcoholic and uses drugs it was very frightening with 2 little ones this went on for many years, I had to leave because of the endangered situation how he kept a job that was God watching over us, he now has 19 yrs sober what your doing will save many women and families God bless you 🙏 ❤️
I’m sorry you had to go through what you did, but I found that sharing helps me and hopefully it will help others. Thank you for your thoughts and sharing today
Thank you. I am grieving my sister who passed on it’s been a year. I find it so difficult to let go. She took care of me as a baby.
Loss of a sibling or parent is very hard. I can understand your grief. But you must let go of your grief and keep the wonderful memories that you had together of her in your heart. That way she is never far from you and you are keeping her memory alive. No that she is in a better place and would want you to go on with your life. Blessings your way.❤️
Lost my sister at 42. The next yr lost my dog. The yr after lost her son .my nephew. Then my mom. It's been hard. 😧
You are a real pleasure. My husband decided he didn't want to be tied down to me and our 2 children. He married a girl 3 years older than our daughter. I was devastated but after many years I am still not feeling good about it. I married for life but I guess he wasn't. Thank you for lifting my spirit.
He did you a favor by showing you his true character. Get out there and start living your life for you. Don't waste another second in regret.
I know of a young stay at home mom with 3 children who was dumped for a younger model. She quickly had to find work to survive. She did. Loved it. Excelled. Within a few years she was quite wealthy. Then her X was dumped for a younger model. He returned and said: Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. She replied: I know but thanks anyway. 🤣🤣🤣
I’ve been a widow for 8 years now. Have 3 children all grown. I still have bouts of anxiety and hate having to sort things out on my own like bills or resolving problems etc. without support. Thank you for the confidence your talk has produced in me. I suddenly felt more positive that I can do it. I can deal with the issues. The problems will get resolved. I just need to face them with confidence and a positive attitude relying on God all the while.
My husband committed suicide in November of last year. He had severe anxiety and depression and was an alcoholic. He was diagnosed in the past with bipolar d/o. No matter what medicine over the years doctors put him on, he always had complaints about side effects and wouldn't stick with anything. When he died he left a big mess to unravel and so much trauma. I know about the anxiety of which you speak. Every problem, every bill, every roof, or window, or dry wall, electric, plumbing, heating, AC etc. issue falls on me to figure out how to fix and how to pay for it. Sometimes the gravity of it all becomes overwhelming, added to the horror of what has happened. However, eventually I made a plan and moved forward with it, step by step, day by day. I found out that I can not only live through a terrible trauma, I can use it to get stronger than I ever thought possible, with God's help.
My husband was borderline. He was very manipulative and I stayed with him until he died from stomach cancer at the age of 67 years old. Luckily, I was 60 years old at the time but with very low self-esteem. I had to rebuild myself and try to enjoy life again day by day. His death was a relief for me. No more fight. I was free at last.
God bless you. God always creates something good out of something bad. My faith has given me such inner peace during all of the chaos in the world. Prayer is one of the best antidotes for everything evil. Keep the faith!
Blessings your way and thank you so very much.❤️
Sandra, I am 20 years old and I watch your videos every time I see it on my home page. Thank you so much for all of your wisdom. It really helps me think positively and gives me hope. I’m so happy to have found you at my age and I enjoy your videos so much. Never stop and thank you again ❤️
I'm so sorry for what you went through. I have a brother with a mental illness that refuses all help. My world changed the day he had a breakdown. I pray that one day soon we will look upon mental illness as we would any other illness like heart disease.I will be 59 years old this year and faithfully watched Romper Room every day. Talk about coming full circle. I've come to realize that we incarnion this earth to fulfill our purpose. and we come back until we figure what it is. We cannot run from our problems either. We must work them out if it takes 100 lifetimes to do so. God bless you for sharing your life with us all these years and for being the beautiful inspiring person you are
Thank you ever so much for sharing all of your wonderful insight with us today. You are absolutely right. And hello DoBee. It’s so good to see a romper room fan again. Talk about full cycle! Have a wonderful day today.❤️
I’m 51, but I came across your video and after hearing your story, I realize we have lived the same past. I am a survivor. Life is not always fair, but God will give you double for your trouble. Get up, dust off and keep moving forward.
I just found you on you tube. Thank you so much for your encouragement. My husband passed away almost 2 years ago. I struggle but I know God has good plans for me. You are an amazing lady. Thank you again.
Welcome. I am so happy you found and that you got inspiration encouragement from my story. God does have a plan for you and you have to be open to excepting it. Thank you for being here
It is a sad tough time for me. It means so much to see your beautiful, kind, generous, and encouraging face and to hear your voice of wisdom and experience. You made a difference in my life today! I am so grateful! Thank you!
Thank-you for being so honest. I have been through the fire too but the Lord brought me through! Now I am blessed with a new and better life as you are! Praise be to God!!!
That is so wonderful to hear! I am so happy to hear from another survivor. I’m also so pleased to know that you were in a better chapter of your life today.❤️
Your intro and your story were very moving. Such a tragic past with your deceased husband. I cannot imagine having to live through the terror with your husband, especially while having children who needed your protection and care. You are indeed a survivor and out of the tragedy and the rubble you have rebuilt a beautiful life with a wonderful partner in Arthur. God bless you.
Thank you so very much. Life is not static and there is a chance for another day and open a new chapter in your life. I want everybody to understand that that is so true. No matter where you are right now in your life there is a chance for it to even get better.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart So true. I always think when we have hit the very bottom in our life, the good thing about that is, the only direction to go from the bottom.....is back up again. :o)
Sandra, i am in my middle age. I am in the middle of divorcing my high- functioning, but mentally I’ll husband. We had been together for 14 years. It’s been extremely traumatic as he harmed me and I spent many months trying to convince myself that I could still make it work through the harassment and verbal assaults. Seeing my kids looking at me, I knew I had to end it.
I don’t know how I am going to survive financially. I also take care of my elderly parent. I desperately want to be in the fetal position.
I just saw this video recommending and it felt like you were talking to me. Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this this morning.😢
The greatest takeaway for me 'Sometimes the worst and hardest monent in our life are what lead us to the very best moment in our lives'...and you indeed is the living proof ... Thank you!🙏
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, experience and encouragement! My husband had a stroke 3 1/2 years ago and I still struggle with the fact he will never be the same. I want to believe he will still recover and be able to walk independently and talk better. My hope is dimming and I am grappling with the reality and fear that this is where he will be for the rest of his life. I am sad for him and myself that our relationship has changed and that I will always be taking care of him. I know he tries his best, it’s just hard. I take life one day at a time and I have learned that I am stronger than I thought I ever was and that I’m a survivor too. Prayers to all going through their challenges 🙏
Jean, I am very sorry to hear that your husband is at a stroke that has affected his mobility and care. Life throws us so many things sometimes that we can’t understand. Thank you for caring for him and I know the way that is on your shoulders. Please stay strong and know that I am praying for your strength along the way.❤️
How is your husband now? I heard about cayenne pepper that can help stroke and possibly reverse it.
Yes, dear Sandra and sister women, it seems that Heartbreak can expand our capacity to love even deeper and wider. So much depends on staying openhearted in this lifetime. You gave me compassionate closure in the past concerning a man with same mental illness that I loved. I just barely escaped from him and your understanding was liberating. We are powerful beings who can help each other to heal! Yes it does take courage to be a peaceful warrior, survivor!
Precious thoughts.🙏🌼
That’s what it’s all about, Joy. Helping one another through life. Your kindness makes me realize that we can be a comfort and shoulder to those who need our help.❤️
@@williamsharman2159, thank you for gracious wishes,
Blessings to you, too, and do take good care.
I have just been listening to you Sandra on this "little Christmas night" or as we call it in Ireland "nollag na Mban" womens Christmas ----a day when we women are mindful of ourselves and in theory have a treat day. I only wish that women who have not been able to enjoy this day for whatever reason , could have listened to you. What honest, wise, insightful advise you shared with us all. It is relevent to everyone . We may not have problems just at the moment but life will deal us difficult cards at some stage and It's how we play that hand that will make or break us. I thank you so much for sharing your challenges with us. I have no doubt it will help many many men and women as they travel on life's journey. You are the voice of experience.
Thank you so much for your wonderful comments. What a beautiful tradition you have an Ireland for a woman’s Christmas. A day when women are aware of who they are. It’s so nice to have a special day this time of year. Life throws us thing sometimes that we don’t think we can survive but we are strong and with faith move on and learn from those adversities, do t we? Thank you so very much for sharing the story of ‘little Christmas night’ with us. ❤️
Thank you for sharing. I was married for 23 years to a man that was bipolar. So much happened that I don’t talk about. I finally divorced him and now My youngest son was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. He lives with me now. I was thinking I needed to share and talk about it but where do you begin. I wish we had this you tube back when all this was happening. God bless you and bring you peace.
Sandra, thank you for telling your testimony and reminding me that I am resilient beyond belief. I am too a survivor, but of abuse and attempted murder. I was just 23, and had to completely move away and start over. Once I was finally out I felt so free and at peace, but also confused and heartbroken. I still have a lot of pieces that are reappearing in my mind, and I still have a lot of healing to do. I have come far in the last 3 years. It's been proof that am capable of absolutely anything.
Miss Sandra the news on TV was all bad this morning. Today’s peek in the magic mirror brought a story of hope and resilience. And peace. ❤️
In these times I try to limit my news exposure as much as possible I don’t want to be an ostrich but it is so debilitating.❤️
I have gone off Facebook and refuse to watch the fake news. I am so much happier. I am growing closer in my faith and I find myself much calmer.
Sandra, from one survivor to another, thank you for sharing your story with others. I am grateful, every day, that I made it through those dreadful times. My husband was never diagnosed, and it took thirty years for me to realize his illness. It's so important to seek help from professionals. I blamed myself. I can't express how vital your courageous message is to the world. God bless you.
Hello Sandra, I read your book, it's written great. In a way, I found myself in your book. Now you are giving so many people courage and confidence with your channel. Thank you for always being so positive, empathetic and motivating. xo
Rita, so you already know my story. I am so happy that you’re part of my bag of marbles here on my channel. I always enjoy your support and hearing from you.❤️
Hello Rita
Sandra,I am 65 years old widow.Thank you for video.what a powerful life changing message
My first husband was bipolar and took his life 27 years ago. My children were 11 & 13 at the time. Life was challenging before and after his death. I learned a lot about myself, and learned I was stronger than I thought. I now understand that I’m a survivor and that God had a plan for all of us in this journey. Raising my children gave me focus and strength. My husband used to tell me that the kids and I would be better off without him. I felt so much guilt when I realized that we were in many respects. But, this was our destiny. I know this now. I’m so sorry for all you and your children experienced. It’s life altering for all…living with and without. You are so strong! Life is an up and down journey for everyone at some point. Nobody gets a free ride. Their challenges may not be as extreme as others, but we all have challenges nonetheless. Thank you for sharing. Life is good!
Debbie Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts with me. We both understand about living with someone who is mentally ill. I felt guilty of the relief I felt when I was finally free. But I know that it allowed me to move forward in my life and to raise my children as you did in a better environment without chaos and fear. Thanks again.
Sandra, what a powerful message. It brought tears to my eyes as I could have done with hearing that as a teenager with children in a loveless, empty marriage. What my children suffered through emotional neglect is something I felt guilty about most of my life. I still worry now, if they experience unhappiness or not seem to be managing a crisis. But I suppose that’s part of being a mother. Keep sharing your message because we are stronger than we think! We can do it! Tell someone until you find someone to hear you! One of the things I would done have done differently in retrospect is to have asked for support. I felt powerless and overwhelmed and to have had encouragement from someone who had come through a similar experience to myself would have helped me to make better decisions. It’s never too late to change. Blessings to you Sandra
Maree, aren’t we always smarter in hindsight. I would’ve done so many things differently, too, but I had to go through the experience to learn. You wrote such a beautiful and heartfelt comment. I am sure your children as adults understand the sacrifices you made and the drama you were going through. I feel, also, that sometimes I was not there emotionally enough for children my children because I was so preoccupied with survival. We are only human.❤️
YOU, dear lady, are a total, supreme inspiration. You have dug in your heels and resisted the horrors of aging. You have shown the world of fearful travelers, novices, all...that life can be graceful, dynamic and very rich in experiences, even after most souls who've become quietly invisible, have been discarded. Your grit causes passion to be fully restored to each who carefully learn from your gifts on TH-cam. I discovered you a week ago. Needless to say, it was a wonderful week.
Welcome. I’m always happy to have a new subscribers to join us great community that we have here. I appreciate your kind words and hope you will share your thoughts often
I so appreciate your story. I’m a 60 yo woman who experienced my mother not survive this. I was 15 yo and understood what was going on. She was courageous! He just won. This has empowered me to not only allow myself to engage in healthy relationships, but teach my daughters to do the same. I’m so blessed that they do so. It’s a rough road. The strong walk it successfully.
So true. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me today.
Tears were dripping out of my eyes listening to your story. Although I escaped an abusive man, just short of being murdered myself, the bashing down through life due to different situations can be overwhelming. Raising my son on my own was challenging and we didn't have a lot, but I did it. You are an inspiration to all going through hard times. Much appreciation to you.
I cried listening to your journey. I cried bc I know that journey myself. We survivors of abuse can hear the pain and strength in each other’s words. I’m so happy you found your way through and out of the darkness. By the mercy and grace of God, I did as well. I still watch over my shoulder and think twice before answering my front door without looking first. I long for the freedom of peace of mind... peace in my soul. Not only for myself, but like you said, ESPECIALLY for my children. Thank you so much for sharing your victory.❤️
Anna, thank you for letting me know that you also have had this similar experience. Unless someone has walked in our shoes they honestly can’t really know how frightening it can be to fear for your life every single day. I am so happy you were scape and you’re able to have a bit of peace of mind. We all have our challenges and they’re not always as critical as ours but each of us are survivors in our own way❤️
I am 61 years old and I enjoy listening to your advice on aging even though I am a male, it is good advice for all of us who are aging. Thank you for your wonderful insights.
Sandra, thank you so very much for sharing something so personal from your life... you give hope, understanding, compassion and love in this video... you are truly a remarkable woman... I always thought that since I found your channel... today’s video just solidified that!... I am so sorry you had to go through such heartache and heartbreak... but, as you said, it made you who you are today... I am honored to know you via TH-cam... and honored to have been a part of hearing your story... thank you again, so very much!... please stay safe and healthy!..much love and appreciation!💜💜💜💜💜
Hello Linda. I am always hesitant to share such personal information, but I think maybe I went through all of this so that I can share and help others who may be struggling in some sort of survival situation. Thank you so very much for your kind comment.❤️
Hello Linda
Sandra, Thank you so much for this message. I read your book and still remember the moment when you realized that he intended to harm you - and started fighting back. So glad to hear that you go to women's shelters and speak there. You are so very talented in communication and are using it now to help other women who started in love but found out that they had to take another path.
Thank you so very much for reading my book. I really feel that I’m giving back when I go into women shelter to try to help them build her self-confidence and survive for another wonderful chapter in their lives. Thank you very much again.❤️
What a story! what a true survivor! What a inspiration you are dear Sandra,..which by the way is my sister's name. God Bless you!!!!
My thoughts and actions exactly. It took me 12yrs after my divorce (32yrs of marriage) to find my feet and not feel so lost. We also never had children and in a way it lessened the financial burden but contributed to the loneliness since my husband was my immediate family. What I also found was that my life got better when I learned to forgive myself and my journey taught me compassion for people's hardships and definately made me a better person. I'm still single but do not feel so lost anymore. Read somewhere that the storms we encounter in our life is not there to destroy us but to clear our paths. Thank you Sandra for your very true and inspiring words. God bless🙏
Hi Sandra. My husband died suddenly a few months ago. His heart stopped while he was reading a bedtime story to our 2 year old son. He was 32. I struggle with accepting that this is my life now, my old life taken from me, a new unknown path in front of me. I find comfort in your words and I just wanted you to know I appreciate you sharing your story, and respect your advice. One day at a time.
Meagan, I am so sorry that you lost your husband so prematurely. Often times we wonder why life has dealt us what is has and we struggle with wondering if we will be able to survive. Your new life will be focused on raising your child and doing the best for him that you can. There is a new chapter being written for you now. Back then I never dreamed that I would have the life I have now. Please know that there is a wonderful new life waiting for you. A new beginning. Take your time to heal and step at a time it will unfold. My thoughts are with you. ❤️
We never know what shoes others have had to walk in. Thank you so much for telling your story and giving those wonderful words of wisdom!
Thank you for sharing your story. On July 22, 2019, my husband of 20 years was hit and killed by a train. Our marriage wasn’t great either and after he died, I found out things about him I had no clue about. He was deceptive. I was so angry at him and I didn’t think I had grieved, but maybe my anger at him was part of it. Like you, I’m starting over with my teenage daughter. I have to figure out my purpose after she graduates high school. I love nature and feel closer to God in it. I’ve decided to move away from the busy Dallas area to Arkansas where it’s SO beautiful, and open a BNB. I love beautiful homes, nature, and being kind to others. This will be my new purpose. ❤️
Carole, I’m sorry that you had to go through the trauma that you did. In the end you realized what is so important in your life and what you want to do with it. Moving to Arkansas sounds perfect. Starting over and having a new beginning sometimes is the most healing thing that can happen to us. Best of luck to you and keep in touch so that we know how you are doing❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart Thank you. ❤️
Hi Sandra
My name is Maria, I’m 63yrd old, I’m from Curitiba Brazil.
We all need to do something good to overcome our pain. In my case I chose to study English and following one advice I’m trying to turn my pain into poetry.
One day I was looking for a beautiful thing to listen to in English and the TH-cam brought you to me. You have a calm voice that is clear to understand.
I like to listen to your advice and also like to read the comments.
You have a very rich life story, so do your followers. Thank you for sharing. It takes a lot of strength and courage to overcome that days.
Maybe one day I’ll be able to write a poetry in English or maybe I will find someone willing to help me! I hope so!
God bless us all.
Thank you for sharing. Living in survival mode during the last 12 yrs is taking a toll my mental and physical health but after watching your video along with a few other ones, I realize I just have to except that loss, pain, regrets, and disappointments are just part of life. The last 5 years has been particularly hard with love ones passing away. It's now just me and my last dog. Time is no longer on my side and his, so I'm just going to accept the pain, do what I have to do to move forward. I take things hour by hour, and make sure I put time in creating joy even if it's only an hour a day. I look forward to watching your other videos.
It's so hard when you realize most of the people you loved are gone. But you know what? You're still here. The people you loved would want you to find some joy in your life. There's still more to learn and experience.
I listened to you and allowed myself to visualize how I could do and be who I wanted to be. I’m a widow with grown children that I feel I am still responsible for making happy.
I don’t have to be the provider. I can be the cheerleader for them but I don’t have to be their financial and emotional support system. I long to be on my own, be alone with myself and my dreams. They don’t ask me to be everything for them. I just do things out of habit. Thank you for sharing your words and encouragement.
Carolyn, it really is important that you are a support system for them emotionally emotionally. It’s now time to start doing things for yourself and not feeling guilty about it. We mothers sometimes find it hard to let go of caring for everyone around us. We must realize now that the caring should to be for us..Start enjoying your life and living your dreams while still loving your children.❤️
Hello Carolyn
You are so strong!!! The video has great advise, I like that you took it one day at a time....the big picture can be so overwhelming in any circumstance. I also LOVE that instead of becoming hard and bitter on life that you came out more compassionate & loving.
Doris, I know that when people are faced with struggles like this one can become bitter and hardened and suspicious of what life is going to bring tomorrow, but I chose to believe that good things were still out there ready and waiting for my family and myself.❤️
@@lifewithsandrahart I am so thankful you took the high positive road....have a safe 4th of July!!
I am 54 years old and have too , like many of us, gone through hardships. I am so glad I found your channel ! The inspiration and advice you give is priceless!👍🏼💕
Hi Sandra, I too was in a abusive relationship & one day when my daughter was 13 months old I decided not to walk home & not to go back. Decided to not get her baby pics etc etc as I knew if I went back I’d be stuck forever. At first you have no plans, no $ no drivers license & almost no hope.
I’m a survivor. My daughter is now 21 & I was so afraid of another abusive relationship that I remained single as it was safer alone with her. And I too felt relieved when her father over dosed as the threat was now gone (although we had left 10 years prior to his passing)
Thanks for sharing. Now we are living each moment & I think we appreciate each moment more once we had survived. 💕
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts and your story. How brave you were not to go back and smart. Your daughter and you are both survivors!
@JohnPatrick-wd5io
I’m doing fantastic thanks! I’m Canadian :) hope you’re doing well
My dad had a mental problem and my mom kept thinking “It will get better, it will be different next time.” Yeah, right. She finally divorced him after years of psychological damage to the whole family.
Ya, I did the same, but he was so slick.