These Hidden CPTSD Triggers May Be Keeping You In A State of Dysregulation
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ต.ค. 2024
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When I talk about "triggers," I don't mean the common usage that means "things that make me uncomfortable." I'm talking about stimuli (internal and external) that launch a neurological reaction resulting in dysregulation. So long as your triggers are active, your trauma symptoms will follow within moments. One of the most important things you can do to heal rom Childhood PTSD and CPTSD is to learn to recognize and calm your triggers. No triggers = fewer symptoms, and higher levels of wellbeing and functioning in your life. In this "best of" compilation, I talk about common CPTSD triggers that many people don't know they have. Knowing what's wrong is half the battle! See if you identify with these.
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There’s hope for me. I turn 70 in December. I’d be nowhere if I hadn’t discovered Anna’s daily practice nearly 2 years ago. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. ❤
Wow, that's so wonderful to hear! Thank you for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
❤❤🎉❤❤
Thank you for this, it gives me hope at 65! ❤️
Ditto
68 and had given up hope. thanks so much Trish.
I can hurry myself when I'm in control of the purpose and plan, but when other people hurry me, I get flustered and go into fight-or-flight mode. It really mimics the internal "What in the actual hell is going on?" I constantly felt as a kid.
So true for me too! If I feel someone is rushing me and/or waiting for me impatiently it's as if I start to fumble and fail...I feel as if I am moving in slow motion and the internal panic starts to rear it's beasty head. It's always been so much better for me to work independently of others. Omg...is all I hv to say! 😅😊
I feel you, but for me those same triggers you described are from being under undue external pressure of being a caregiver in a selfish family.
I don't know that being hurried by people has too much of a triggering affect on me though.
I HATE being hurried. I didn't like it as a kid, either, but I only made sense of it all not that long ago. 😮
Same HERE, I hate... Being rushed, makes me very upset.
Exactly. Good point. When I put myself in hurry mode, I can sorta get into a groove like it's an athletic sport.
But, when someone is rushing me, it makes me so nervous and stressed that it slows me down.
Also, if people show up early when we are going to an event, unless they sit quietly while I finish getting ready, they will make me late. I've learned to speak up about that after such a friend told me she was annoyed at my being late in those circumstances.
😅 the shock on her face was classic when I told her that her early arrival and engaging me in conversation was the reason I was late. 😮
Yes. I knew Mr. Rogers. He lived in Pittsburgh across the street from friends of my family. I lost a pinky ring in his swimming pool and he fished it out. I’m here to tell you, he was exactly who he appeared to be on TV. Kind, calm and truly good. A real decent person in all of our lives. Thank you for bringing him up! I’m dating myself by also saying Captain Kangaroo and Mr. Greenjeans were also instrumental in providing calm joy in my troubled young life. Gratitude!
Wow. What a lucky thing to cross paths with Mr. R.!
This is 💯% a trigger for me..I've always struggled with feeling rushed to get somehwere...and somehow always ended up being late as a result of the procrastination as a result of associating stress with hurrying
I am just the opposite. I always give myself way more time than I need so I can have dawdle time. I can't stand being rushed or being late!
Omg yes:*(
I dislike being rushed deeply. My father used to do this very much when I was little. My brain hurts from just thinking about how I felt when I was rushed as a child. So I try to take my time. I wake up 3 hours before the time I’m suppose to be. I love slow mornings.
My Dad rushed me every morning and insulted me. My Mum would say “remember those mornings when you get to watch your favourite shows before school? Try to finish on time so you can do that!”
Same! makes me feel less strange. Up between 2-3am. Slow quiet and no one else awake😌💪
Same
I had a 6th grade math teacher who repeatedly said,"Haste makes waste." She explained that if you don't allow yourself enough tine for a task, you WILL make mistakes. She tucked at teaching math, but I still remember this one thing that was true and good for me.
My work alarm is 2.5 hours before I need to leave the house. 3 might be better! 😉
It's funny Anna, because all my life I've always maintained that as a boundary for me in life and work, that I DO NOT hurry/rush. I never thought about it in your way, but I can see for sure, this is why I behave this way, combined with my disposition. I'm adamant about this. For me, rushing is not an option. I guess I just know I would get out of control too much.
Wow the dropping stuff/running into things/being a klutz when you're stressed is so so me. It's actually helpful just to realize things you think are your own personal flaws are common things others struggle with.
Amen, same here!
Same. I bump into door frames. It is a sign I am rushing and dysregulated.
Just had disregulation today and I was in dark spot. Music, food, i could not even write... And remembered of your channel and here is this video and it brought me back to life. I am not alone with this❤ hope is back. Still so sad that even Mondays can cause disregulation
You certainly aren't alone and this community is always here for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy
"Rushing is another form of going nowhere" (from the amz workbook 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels). This quote hit me when I read it in the mindfulness workbook, as one of my cptsd symptoms was a strong compulsion to hurry and respond. I was the person always on time (or early) to events and meetings, rushing to get back to texts and calls, immediately responding. Some people would say this is a good thing because it shows discipline and being courteous, but the truth is I neglected my own time, needs, and wants by assuming I had to ensure other people where not negatively impacted by me. In the end, learning to set boundaries through therapy and mindfulness helped. I had to set a boundary for myself...don't reply immediately to people, if they get bothered, that's on them. It other words, I had to learn to say "no" by simply not rushing.
Just remember we didn't always have phones in hand.
Yess the adhd and childhood trauma connection ❤ as if adults thought yelling at a slow kid would effectively improve their behaviour 🤔
Do you believe the 'daycare generation' suffers from neglect? Daycare is such an unnatural and unhealthy place for young children. (I know some people must have childcare but many, many families will not make the financial sacrifice.)
Agreed
Susan Venker's TH-cam channel has talks about daycare and its detrimental effects on children.
I’m crying because my CPTSD comes out when I am hurrying. I just thought it was time anxiety and that’s what I’ve been calling it. I can see so many ways that it triggers me in times that we’re already stressed. Mr. Rogers is my dad, or what I helped my dad could’ve been. He was the safest person I knew, and I would never miss a episode growing up. Thank you for helping us make sense. I have a loving and supportive people in my life now. I watch out for me. They care for me. They will help me when I’m dyregulated.
Make a list and stay focused on getting that done, don't let everyone else redirect you to their agenda. Become methodical, put your keys in the same place so on this helps save time. Pressure is a part of life, feeling pressure to accomplish a goal or complete a project is much different than the fart in a whirl wind directionless spinning.
Fabulous advice, thank you
Yes, your points definitely help. I'm doing these steps for years and it really helps.
I just started S.L.A.A. and wow I found other limerents like me that have things that work to help them. I would have never done it without this channel and Crappy Childhood Fairy. Thank you!
YESSSSS!!!! I get so angry when Im rushed at work or making an appointment and as you pointed out - and how I found your channel - the procrastination issues with CPSTD. Thx for the video
The procrastination is beyond me. Omg. It is on a level that is unexplainable to me. However, I do managed to get things done at the very last minute. Especially with work and projects. Scary
Holy cow.....yes dropping things for no reason and then when you get upset and triggered - the stupid things you do out of sequence and out of normal. Ouch - the screw ups that Ive done at work when I get rushed bc they are pressuring us for time and then I just totally call myself names that I cannot type here and insults that I cannot say here. Amazing....
On the saying hello one, I always make an effort to make eye contact, smile and say hello to people and I find it incredibly rude when people purposefully ignore me when I am obviously *right there*. It doesn't bother me much if its a stranger, but it does when its an acquaintance. For me, it has been a real process to realise that if someone I know ignores me and doesn't say hello, or doesn't return my greeting, then that is on them. They may have their own stuff going on, they may be neurodivergent, or they may be rude. That is their deal, it doesn't mean I am worthless just because they didn't say hello back. I'm learning to just not waste my energy saying hello to those people at all. It doesn't mean I am rude, it means I'm treating them how they are comfortable being treated.
I'm in a hurry to get things done, rush and rush till life's no fun!
This is absolutely true. I ended a three year friendship because one she was hurrying me even though I was doing my absolute best to get ready on time and two she criticize me and said I was inconsiderate because I was running a little late.
Her criticism and feelings of you being inconsiderate might have been a triggered reaction to your behavior. My cptsd is triggered by waiting. Makes me feel abandoned, then I lash out. I don't know if that applies to your former friend, but as someone who has had lots of trouble with those kinds of triggers...well, maybe that's why she was so hard on you.
I’m only 15 mins into this dialogue and THIS is the one that makes me feel hope and sooooo seen.
In the same breath of being so excited to heal and regulate and to also hear that “I am not the only one”, I can’t help but to feel overwhelmed by fear. I fear that I will find that my success is all based on my reaction to trauma and not talent. Cue in a whole new level of imposter syndrome.
Diana, I see, hear and feel you. You're a real person. You are the one doing the things that bring success in your life. Take the credit because you deserve it. If you're anything like me, you're probably quick enough to take the blame for all the stuff that doesn't go so well, right? 😘
Only you would have this exact reaction, so it is still your own unique quality
Big Pharma and our health care system exploit US
I didn't really like Mr Rogers as a child because I didn't understand love. I still don't know that much about love. But now I really like Mr Rogers because I want to love like him.
I work in a restaurant and am realizing as I'm listening how much I needed to hear this
I so much recognize what you say about hurrying and as a result getting overwhelmed and disregulated.. It helps me to put trust in that everything will be ok and that there is no need to rush..
Yep, I had a reaction some years back that was over the top frightening but I couldn't identify it. I didn't understand what was happening. AND I've been in therapy for years but I just didn't have words to describe my strong feeling. Well that feeling was abandonment. I was overcome with fear and disappointment that night (my date let me sit in my car in the rain for an hour while he decided to be late). I downplayed the incident (denial) and tried to suck it up but 35 years later I still remember the incident and my strong reaction. I also did not realize that I was abandoned as a child (even though the situation was discussed at length). I just didn't have words for it but that's exactly what happened and now, as a senior, I am FINALLY getting it. Mostly due to vids like this one. TY so much for the light bulb Miss Fairy!
Bless you!
Definitely!!!
As I’m getting older I’m struggling w noises even more than when I was a kid.
1:09:48 - you're fantastic Anna Runkle (sp?) - CCF. I'm So thankful the Holy Spirit led me to your channel.
yep, hurry is my trauma response. It seems it's part of my hypervigilance, hurry and get this done so I can feel safe.
Wow! "Hurry and get this done so I can feel safe". This struck me deep..I think this is what I do when my cptsd is running on 💯...
Thank you for this comment 😁
I just got to the part about you being sad that you felt your parents might drive you over a cliff, and I had a really scary (& very sad) deja vu...
As a kid, riding in the car with mom, next to a construction site that was below us, and you could see it over the side of the road we were on, but not how you would get to this construction site; And every time we went over this road she saw them, & she would talk about how she felt like driving off of them... Sometimes alone, and sometimes with me, and occasionally, also my sister, in the car with her😳... So terrifying on so many levels! 🤯
( Incidentally, mom did not drive over the cliff, but she did overdose when my sister was 14, and I was 18.🥴 😬We are in our 50s now, and I find it, quite frankly, amazing that we have lived this long, made it this long, this far, fought this hard to make it this long!🙌🏾👐🏻 So, I say 'ta da'🪄🎩 every day, and work hard to recognize, and be grateful for, each blessing🌠🌟)
I just wanna hug the both of you. ❤
*accepting virtual hugs for both of us* Hi @ginapotoczek7664
@@GreyRabbit_Burrow thank you for being the main reason I'm still around to tell the story! 💜🤍🐇
@@SippenSomeTea love your screen name, 🤭btw... 🙆♀️💜thank you for the lovely thought, and the virtual hug!🤗🫂🙌🏾🕊🥲
The 12 steps isn't for everyone- it's CBT-ish, which isn't for all- some of us find other emotional/therapy tools work better for us- Many of us attend groups but the 12 steps are only 1 tool in the recovery toolbox
Along with abandonment fears I also struggle with jealousy. I need to be special or the favorite and I hate it because I know its not right but I can't seem to push those feelings away.
This makes me think about a problem I've noticed lately. Very hard to think I'm jealous. I haven't figured it out yet.
This is a big trigger for me. I always allow extra time when I need to do tasks and if I have to go somewhere. I never like being late.
Mr Rodgers got me through some hard childhood times also. When I am dysregulated at night I will sometimes go on TH-cam and watch a Mr. Rogers episode. Word to the Wise: they are all on TH-cam.
Can you please make a video on healing from being in an abusive relationship with someone with cptsd? This is my story quickly:
So I was married to someone with cptsd, almost certain of it. I'm not a doctor and can't diagnose obviously, but it fits extremely well. She had a ptsd diagnosis and adhd, but it always seemed that those two things didn't quite explain all of the behaviour. I remember asking my therapist if there was such a thing as attachment trauma or an attachment disorder. I really appreciate this video because I spent a lot of time wondering if she was a narcissist too but always kinda knew that didn't fit. She had too much empathy with other people. But the overlap is quite striking. My life was consumed at every waking moment with walking on eggshells, minding my tone constantly, endlessly apologizing for the same thing over and over. She constantly felt unsafe with me, and I swear to God that I spent every last ounce of strength trying to treat her well, serve her, love her, listen, ask questions, notice her, take an interest in everything she did, literally doing everything and anything I could think of to make her feel good and safe around me, but no matter how hard I tried, I was always just a scary person to her, emotionally unsafe. I was endlessly told all about how inadequate I was relationally. I wasn't allowed to have any real emotions, opinions, really a voice in anything because everything about me gave her panic attacks, like several a day every day for years. Even when they subsided near the end, she was in a constant state of disapproval of literally everything I did. It's actually exhausting typing all this out. Anyway, I have trauma from this that I'm trying to sort out. It's really difficult when you spend so much of yourself listening to another person's opinion of you, only to realize that they're sick and don't see you for who you really are. I always thought I didn't believe everything she said and thought about me, but my body is telling a different story now.
I used to ruminate a lot. Talking to myself, trying to figure out the mess of being constantly blamed for everything and shamed, when I tried as hard as I could to change myself to suit her. I'm getting better with this, but it's taken a while. Any thoughts would be appreciated!
Sounds like my mom. I remember never feeling like I knew what was coming. Her mood would switch in an instant. We were never sure what we could or couldn't say that might trigger her. Thinking back and now being a parent, I think we were the trigger. It didn't really matter what we said.
I hope you find your healing. ❤
@@SB-xw9rm thanks for the reply. I don't know if she was a narcissist. Maybe. It might not matter in the end I guess what her diagnosis is. That's for her to find out. I've been doing a lot of work on me. Figuring out how I was affected.
It's funny you mention illness. My ex was constantly sick, and ya, a bunch of times it felt like it was all too convenient the way that her illnesses would affect our plans. Like she was often sick when it came time to see my family, so I didn't get to see them as often as I wanted to for a while.
And yes, I need to read that book. Been hearing about it for years now.
Peace
So much of your story sounds like my marriage. By that I mean I'm the angry, messy, critical wife with cptsd.
Last year my husband had a complete mental breakdown and suddenly my 25 year marriage was imploding. When I say my sweet, patient, solid husband suddenly acting erratic and saying he thought we needed to separate triggered my abandonment melange, it would be an understatement.
It has been a very hard year for both of us. His breakdown was such a shock to me that I started scrambling for self help info and discovered cptsd. I also realized just how toxic I have been, especially to him. I discovered that my husband has something like it too, although his childhood was only one of emotional neglect that left him closed and avoidant. I don't know if maybe you are, too, and that's some of what kept your wife in what sounds like a state of abandonment trigger. I know this dynamic has been a big issue in my marriage. It's a bad cycle and it was silent acid on my marriage.
We're still together. Currently doing better as we figure out what's been at the root of my bad behavior and breaking the cycle of triggering each other. ( He's reserved and closed emotionally, I read that as abandonment and act out. My outburst freaks him out so he closes down. Rinse and repeat.) We're sorting through a lot. But making progress.
I don't know if it matters or helps you, but even through all the terrible things I said and did, I never meant to hurt my husband and am horrified by it. It never felt like I was actively being difficult or critical. It always felt reactionary and protective. When you're feeling so vulnerable and in danger you can't see what it does to the other person. You're in survival mode. I know it doesn't minimize the damage you cause. But I honestly couldn't see it then. I could only see my pain.
I don't know if that's your wife, too. I don't know what your situation is now. But I hope the possibility that it wasn't intentional helps you.
Thanks for the reply. I'm so sorry you've been thru so much. Ya, I know that most of her behaviour wasn't intentional; it's just that the abusive side of it progressed to such an extreme extent that, tbh, it didn't even matter. In fact, I always understood that her behaviour wasn't intentional or deliberately malicious. I think I stuck around and experienced more abuse because I had a way to explain it.
Praying for you and your marriage though. I'm glad you've got the bravery and humility to own your stuff and are working on things. All the best! @@heatherconner1125
Such a coincidence that you mentioned Mr. Rogers. I saw something about him on Facebook today and my god... I realized he was my calm place, as well. I was also memorized by him and how patient and kind he always was. I had an extremely abusive mother and a completely ignoring father. I still cry when I read his posts
I adored Mr. Rogers. What a God-send during my childhood.
Not me stopping you half way and searching for an episode of Mr Rogers 😂 I shall play it for my 7 & 9 yes old kids! I'm from Poland btw never heard of Mr Rogers ❤❤
He is a gift to the world!
For what it's worth, Anna, I once drove away from the gas station, with the gas hose still in my tank ... of my 28-foot school bus. A thousand dollar-repair later ... it never happened again. 😆 Yeah, dysregulated! Meanwhile, sadly, I only remember one man and one moment in my childhood, where I felt calmed and safe. It was the principal of my elementary school. I was maybe in the first or second grade, a slow and picky eater, and had become terrified of scolding for being the last in the cafeteria every lunchtime. As usual, I was sitting alone, tears running down my face, expecting to be yelled at, and this great tall man appeared in front of me. He walked by slowly, looking at me, paused to smile kindly at me, and kept walking. I'll never forget it. It occurs to me now, that children then - maybe now too - were taught that hurrying was a VIRTUE. And all for the convenience of adults, I know now. A sick culture makes its children sick.
There was a time when I had two full-time jobs at once. Sadly, both of my bosses were very nasty, competative people who were very critical and demeaning toward me. I had to rush from one job to another and was expected to look professional and neat despite high temperatures and no air-conditioning. So I had to change clothes in my car or the restroom between jobs. The bosses were very critical of my appearance and insulting about how I looked. This was extra stress. I was only gettting between two and four hours of sleep during this time and didn't have any days off during the week . Once I rushed to the gas station, had to wait in line, realized that I was going to be late , and finally pulled up to the pump, the whole time going through what was likely to happen when my boss would see me coming in late. I got out of the car, rushed to pay, then returned to My car and drove away. Without getting any gas! I didn't realize what I'd done until late that evening I ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere.
oh my friend@@katella
@@katellame too! $35 worth🙀
@@Lois-o1f 🤷🏽
I did gas pump incident myself thankfully no damage to my vehicle but felt SO stupid!
I actually teared up during the part of the video talking about avoidance
❤
Oh yes, that's me almost every day...I could never understand why.. thank you for sharing
I'm so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Hurrying is definatly a trigger fir me!
I am greatful I came across your channel. I relate to so much you're helping me learn about. It is bittersweet.
Thank u!
Thank you for being a part of our community here!
Nika@TeamFairy
I have found chewing on chewing gum really helps decrease the anxiety when going through the paces to get out the door leaving my place .. plus being as organised as much as possible the night before.... I spoke to a therapist about this and she offered me NOTHING.😮.. all I got.... She said it's obvious I suffer with becoming overwhelmed. ... I'm enjoying your video and enjoying reading the comments with suggestions. 😊
Although I was pretty sure I had CPTSD, when you said hurrying was a trigger, I knew that was it.
Sometimes, I feel like I rush for no reason. Recently I started taking a breath or two and slowing down when I catch myself. I only did this because I did not want my dog to feel more anxious. Not for myself. But I'll do anything for my dog. And the scariest thing for me about changing jobs was, what if it is worse? I can't take worse (imo - who knows?). The same, okay. Better is great. But worse? No.
I hate getting spontaneous calls from friends to invite me for a hang out or walk. I feel hurried and guilty. I can get depressed and sick and shut everyone out of two of them do it in a short space of time. Another friend now plans ahead from the day before without being prompted.
I’m a huge self suppressor!!! This is a new term for me. I tick about each item on your list. New healing rabbit hole unlocked.
Also hurrying. My husband is one of those people that constantly hurries me and everyone. I told him within the last year how dis-regulating for me. He had backed off on it a lot but he did it last week and we went on a trip and I forgot my clothes and shoes I wanted to wear when we got to our destination.
You're in the right place :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy ❤️
Your videos are the most helpful videos I've seen. Thank you for doing this work so that we don't have to suffer anymore.
Sending love and understanding to you about your trauma as a kid Anna. I don't know how I felt about Mr Rogers when I was a kid, I think I was just neutral about him.
But knowing now that he was trying to help be a soothing, stable presence on TV for kids experiencing trauma is heartwarming. What a dear, kind hearted man he was.
I loved him as a little kid, scorned him as a big kid, and now as an adult, I find myself referring back to his songs and sayings, especially when I’m taking care of little kids (or when I need re-regulating 😂)
It’s not my first time commenting. Totally don’t need the team to respond. Although I’m not telling you what to do. Lol- I saw something on TH-cam that told me it’s not my job to help my family and other people around me heal from internal traumas. Yet I still find myself referring this channel. Most recently, a woman I met through church, who does outreach for sex trafficking victims here in Los Angeles at Florence and Figueroa Saturday mornings disclosed something that her husband went through in youth. I’m totally convinced a lot of adults even in their 50s 60s and 70s could benefit from seeing the pattern of behaviors they may have been following. So God forgive me if I’m not supposed to be sharing this channel I’m not trying to be nosy. I’m not cured. I haven’t done every step that has been offered. And I still get triggered. But understanding it helps me become triggered less and more importantly, see where others can benefit by sharing this information. Often in life when something big is wrong there’s more than 1 million things going, right! And I wrote that into a song lyrics 😂
Have a beautiful day everyone and embrace your beautiful life !
@mmmitchell6887 Thanks for sharing, I can completely relate to you and do that same "killing them with kindness" as I share @CrappyChildhoodFairy videos & resources with my family, who need to heal from divorce and family drama trauma.
Maybe you can find a 3rd party non-profit to help like your friend does.
Then your family will see you happily helping others, and by leading by example they will see the path and trail of crumbs to find their own way into their healing path too.
You are so right. Everyone has trauma of some sort. We are broken people in a broken world. God calls us to love one another; He is our foundation. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
Ugh...I procrastinate like it is a SPORT. I recently went thru stuff with my mother and realized just how disregulated I am. The nice thing is, my beloved grandfather taught me the art of SLOWING down!!!!
Thank you so much Anna for being willing and able to share with us from your healing journey. These are truly pearls of wisdom. Heartfelt gratitude to you and for you. I feel like I am spending time in good friend company when I watch your videos. Thank you so very much!
Sincerely,
Shelley Marie Carlson
What a kind words to hear! Thank you and thank you for being a part of our community here!
Nika@TeamFairy
I don’t rush or hurry at all anymore. I’ve realized how stressful it is. I leave early to get where I need to go and have taken many things off my plate. Too many things on the plate cause hurrying. I guess there ARE perks to getting old. LOL!
Oh man, I thought for so many years that it was "just me." that I exaggerate, that I'm kidding myself, that I'm just not fast enough, that I'm just too dreamy and stuff like that, and that that's just the way I am. I've been made to feel so guilty and made to feel so guilty about it all these years that I accepted it and thought it must be true. Now everything makes sense. I think my inner child is crying right now...
Maybe that's also the reason why the lockdown times were so good for me... No Hurrying, no rushing, it feels, like it was a "time-stoper" sometimes.
I'm glad you are here. And you are not alone!
Nika@TeamFairy
I used to be afraid that all the Fourth of July fireworks would fall down on me and my parents who were part of setting up the big Fourth of July event in our town would be entertaining the guests to our booth. But I would hide under the table. I don't remember either of them coming to tell me or comfort me, sit with me or take me out in person to say honey there's nothing to be afraid of. They just let me sit there and cry.
Multi tasking, rush, urgent activities to get it done. Rush, rush !!! Rushing. Urgency, Urgency, Urgency . Unable to have strength to get up. Pressure to be activities.
Hell yes!! Hurrying gets me totally out of whack, often for the rest of the day! I had to hurry this morning, I´m exhausted! Brain fog etc.
I never liked Mr. Roger's. Even as a kid I thought him boring & too slow. I liked "the Friendly Giant" show ( 15 minutes long!)
The hurriered I go the further behinder I get
i have a whole closet full of shirts that have not worn yet , then i buy another one, same with shoes.
Thankyou 😢xx love from north wales
Thank you. Glad you're here! Frida@TeamFairy
I so much relate to you and what you speak about, I watch your videos all the time. God bless your soul. I'm a recovering alcoholic as a result of CPTSD.
I'm so happy to hear that the channel has been helpful! Thank you for taking the time to comment, we're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Addiction is no shortcut for us
Absolutely tragic
I can get hurried and handle it but my partners have always been triggered by it and then they emotionally manipulate in to try and coregulate me which takes a hurried trigger and turns it in to an all out turf war.
Mr. Rogers was like a second father to me. He really spoke to my isolation.
I was going to do emdr but I could not afford so much.
I was diagnosed as a kid with ADHD and now ptsd- you have described me in words I could not because I am not able to speak clearly anymore
I'm so glad you found the channel! Anna's free course 'The Daily Practice' can help sort through things that feel confusing. You can try it here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
-Calista@TeamFairy
Im just wondering, is it common? And why some siblings turn out differently? Some succeed way better, and the other struggles immensely?
I find it draining now, to talk about my experiences while growing up. My older sister seemed to have an easier time dealing with the stress, and succeeding. My perspective is she had more support & acceptance.
I love your Grandmother…what a sensitive wise woman
There's the inward CPTSD experience to transcend, then there's the outward CPTSD world i still have to live in
I call it "scrambling "...i find im always scrambling. I am successful with it and get so much done but am very tired of it
I use that word too. Pros and cons to being this way, right?
Fear of being unloved... I think mine may come from not seeing my momma for almost 2 wks after i was born, she had to stay in the hospital, they almost killed both of us, but she was allergic to the pain meds they was giving her, they had to bring her back, & I was born a blue baby.
Good morning beautiful 😍😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😊😊😊
All of this is ADHD as well. I have been diagnosed with both.
I'm new on triggers I'm having . One really tears me mentally upset that is screaming an yelling ,an calling me all kinds of names. I use to sit scared to death. Then one day I stood up to him. An now my anger is out an I am unregulated. I want an need too.
Abandonment issues are a nightmare for me. I feel like everyone leaves me. And I am the problem. 😢😢😢it is very lonely. Learning to be with and love myself through the loneliness. Both parents failed me and just developed into an introvert.
My most adult trigger recently was mother leaving me to move with my brother because her husband felt more comfortable to smoke and drink at my brothers house versus my home. I was and still is angry at her. I felt like damn she left me again
43:44 - Thanks for this video AR, the CCF. ( :
About what you've just said - about moving in the direction of what you really want -
I try to do that... but get knocked down too easily. And sometimes the problem is simply that I don't know exactly how to move in the direction I desire. I end up... just sitting back and letting God decide - but I'm not sure if that is right either.
Anyway - ... yeah.
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Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It is the technique that led to Anna’s own healing, and she uses it to this day. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Hurrying is simply accomplishing something but in a state of Anxiety .. CPTSD is an anxiety disorder ... Study maintaining your anxiety. Meditation is fantasic for emotional stability. Hiking, going for a ride with no destination, playing with your pets, etc. These are all popular anti stress activities.
See your stress as a ladder, each little thing pushes you up that ladder unitl it topples. You must take time every day to lower your anxiety levels.
Ana I do pet rescue in Modesto and Bay Area. What ever breed you would like I can help you find a dog that needs rescue. I also take care of pets for my friend when they travel. I’d be honored to keep your baby when you travel. Please reach out if you’re ready for a dog now. Blessings
Wow. Thank you for this very meaningful offer! It is not likely to be soon, but would you send your info to my team at hello@crappychildhoodfairy.com?
Brilliant information. Really helping me with my life long battle with cptsd & depression!
We're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I started EMDR with my therapist. Wow, all these things you describe in this video are soooo accurate. I'm slowly working through all of this. Thank you for all you do!!!
Funny I was just remembering the best memory I had with my 15 years of ex 6 mo's after marriage at 21 we went to NY to visit family. We were in the back seat of his friends car going to upstate to a club, stopped at someone house and driver got out of the car, on of a hill enjoying the moonlit Hudson river below thru trees when car started rolling down to cliffs edge. One friend in the front seat turned backwards talking living the moment, just by a hair I saw trees moving, quick to move he got to the break just in time. I was talking about that plane flight up there was my first time and it was a very scary perhaps hearing stories and movies, husband was never very responsible, immature for what his experience was at 26 stories from Woodstock to Korea in army, prevet med school loved animals too much to be vet. He never had any concern for my wellbeing but I did and super empath was codependent from childhood as a supply, slave and scapegoat
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My son was hrs late picking me up for mother's day at the beach and he was not even in the car telling me to hurry up and I said don't rush me and he blew up. Screaming for 10 mins before he dropped me off back at home. My boss always hurry up and stop talking to patients explaining post op instr. Or trmt plans so he has traumatized me on this issue severly. I have a girlfriend that really abused me to hurry and I would be fine until she expected me then text, trigger another 20 e every time she call or tx where are you. I could really relate. Not working and not driving car for rides anymore so don't have too bad an issue but therapy appts on zoom Dr appts and when I want to go to Church function I get frozen and I'm barely 1 year fear and no relief only domestic fights and screaming left about a week ago. My family is no contact but they still check how I am and lies I love you really trigger mei, I can't respond for a couple weeks at one point now it's months. I'm attached to my love ones, my dopamine fix is gone. Very very saf
Good observation and input regarding.
I think in an effort to keep myself regulated with my trauma I sort instinctually get up much earlier then most people might to give plenty of time to get ready for work in the morning (about 2hrs) and arrive at work 30 mins before (now I sit in my car because one employee kept bothering me during that time and it wasn't helpful) and both of these things help me stay calm. The other thing I get mixed up on is if I have too many tasks or if someone is micromanaging me, I will get thrown upside down with those things.
Thank you. All of this. Nodding my head with the descriptions of avoidance all the way through. And, just have to say...Mister Rogers was my go to. When others confused me by professing love one moment and treating me with cruelty the next, he was always a safe, kind soul I could trust. Always welcoming, always glad to talk with me. I have struggled to recognize any examples of someone like that in my real life, but seeing through these great insights you share, I may have missed several opportunities through avoidance.
He sang about that, though (“Sometimes people are good, and they do the things they should. But the very same people who are good sometimes, are the very same people who are bad sometimes…”)
@@daisyviluck7932 Ah, yes. You're right. I had forgotten that part.
Because of 4 stressful days ahead of me...I feel like I am going to die after 2 of them😢
The hurry commentary was really validating for me because I started saying out loud to myself when I was flustered with a task “you have PLENTY of time” with a deep exhale. And it has greatly improved what I was doing. I felt crazy doing that until I saw this video. Thanks for discussing how hurrying is a trigger, it’s helped me understand what’s been going on with me!
Glad to hear the video was helpful! Thank you for your comment.
Nika@TeamFairy
Anna, the issue is a guy looks up advice using a channel called "Toxic Dating Coach" who teaches these tactics that sounds exactly like what happened to this woman. Its just not Okay and i think its fine to meet people go out on dates or be active in choosing something that feels healthy and fun. I guess it just bothers me that some of these idiots follow tactics that just cause more harm, that is hurting for everyone involved. ❤ your advice is always solid gold! Thank you for your depth of compassion and creativity involving unconditional love! I needed you 30 year ago but finding you 3 years ago has been huge success! Thank you! ❤😊
Mr. Rogers ❤
Can you share the organizing app you use plz, I looked up Kanban and several different varieties popped up. Also, thank you so much for sharing, I've learned so much from you on my healing journey.
Mr. Rodgers!!!! I LOVED HIM GROWING UP! WOW! It wasnt just me who was soooo blessed by his show and presence. Another show that calmed me down was Captain Kangaroo. He was so kind and sweet.
Only 5 minutes in and I'm hoping you might offer a different reason also because procastination is NOT my reason for overwhelm at leaving the house. What's other reasons please if you know of any.
Anna you frequently mention 12 - step programs. I thought that such programs are only for substance abuse issues.
Right! 12-step programs are made up by narcissists. So are the 10 commandments.
This is such a helpful video. I have CPTSD, and Multiple Sclerosis is posing a challenge in my healing...i am trying to adjust to my changing abilities over the past 20 years, and it adds a level of frustration- when my mind is working at one speed but my body can't always accomodate the speed and it results in hurrying. I think I have probably felt non stop dysregulation for the past 15 years following a serious gaslighting/divorce, which resulted in bankruptcy, with the background of constant medical uphill battles, that never let up.
I think it's time to fix some things instead of just trying to "survive" day after day. And yes, when someone asks what I want? At this point? I have no answers. ❤
You’re scaring me, Anna. I was having this conversation with somebody like 10 minutes ago. Then boom 💥, this video *cue XFiles theme song* 😳
Omg I feel seen and called out 😂 at the same time I also finally feel understood.
SO NOT TRUE.
Yes, Anna, I still have a fear of bridges, when I can't see the other side over the "hill" or an elevated highway that curves and I can't see what's around the corner such as a mountainside road. I'm much more calm, in real life, when I'm the one driving.
Especially , the bridges over water, show up in my dreams when I'm going through difficult things.
I thought you were going to say that hurrying IS the dysregulation, not that hurrying leads to dysregulation. Can't hurrying ITSELF be the dysregulation? (E.g., maybe due to low self-esteem due to trauma, one feels that there self-worth is tied to how much they can accomplish in a day, so they hurry through the day, and that is a horrible way to live (dysregulation). Maybe that IS what you are saying, actually?
I have no problem taking my time for myself but if I am working colleagues and bosses always try to push you really hard.
So glad I found this video. Every day is like a fight against time. I do nothing but rush here and there which recently caused damage to my car, among many things being broken, and injuries to myself. If I could learn how to slow down time, I would.
I'm bummed by how many ppl snub me when I give a quick smile after accomodating their child or cart. I tell myself to say hi when passing closely in grocery isles. I'm already stand-offish so being sneered at (mainly hispanic stores) or ignored (rich white ppl frequented stores) bothers me. I love hispanic stores for the unusual produce but I often leave them kind of sad.
"Parent" is a noun, not a verb.
The last time that I hurried, I went into a major panic attack. It took close to 3 hours to feel better. I don't socialize much anymore, but I used to. Only family and husbands tried to hurry me. When the person started the litany of time's a wastin', I became overwhelmed, I shut down, and said - "Go without me."
I have been asked (kindly) to slow down at work because of minor errors. Ppl don't always want stuff ASAP. The pressure we feel can be internal.