This video is life changing for me. According to traditional standards I’m considered successful but there’s always been a part of me who STRUGGLES with basic functions. For the longest time I thought I was lazy even begin to think I was depressed. Knowing now that this is connected to my childhood trauma; growing up with a narcissistic mom I can now unpack this is a healthy way & finally STOP feeling like I’m constantly failing - Thank you 🙏
I can relate.I was always told and believe that I came from a good home, was always well provided for, even “ spoilt”. I work now in a successful career but am not wealthy. When I was growing up my parents gave us as much as they could materially and worked hard but they were so emotionally distant I don’t recall ever spending any quality time with them.Feelings were simply not allowed good or bad.I remember always being told not to feel certain way, was forever unable to express myself.I received no positive affirmations or feedback so when I-achieved anything it went unnoticed I soon learnt that bad behaviours got no attention either but I continued to start the process or self sabotage at a young age and was anorexic by my early twenties needing medical intervention. By my late twenties I was a full blown alcoholic and spent years in limerence. I didn’t even know what it was until I came across crappy childhood fairy which has finally diffused so much shame for me My parents constantly lamented me for ruining my life when I had been given so much.I felt so guilty all my life for not knowing what was wrong with me and for not feeling content or happy when I knew people in the world had suffered so much and had a much worse upbringing than me.I was lucky so what was wrong with me? I struggle now even in my fifties with severe anxiety and depression and become so disregulated in work where I am surrounded by fully functioning adults and I feel like a child unable to grow up and struggling to get though the day. I follow a spiritual path and thank God for it helping me daily This channel has helped me so much to learn things about myself I did not know before I can be productive one day and feel exhausted and tearful the next feeling I can’t trust myself anymore and struggle to make plans.I didn’t know what was happening to me and thought it was all menopausal symptoms which I know I use as an excuse to try to explain to people why I feel like this.It causes increased anxiety because I can’t “ perform” well at work and it’s like massive brain fog, can’t think straight and often have to re read emails over and over as nothing is sinking in.I feel so powerless in these situations and have been on the brink of quitting my job but know I can’t afford to do that. I can’t explain to my well adjusted colleagues what is really going on. Thank you for your channel
This is the final boss you have to beat to stay gainfully employed with serious mental illness. You have to have a job you can force yourself to be able to do no matter how bad you feel. Because with serious mental illness, you have more "bad" days than any employer can tolerate. For me, this meant starting my own business so I can be by myself when I am at my worst. I also picked a type of job that I can lose myself in when I am very symptomatic. This is hard stuff.
For me, I have to do an actual job that I'm forced to show up for due to direct impact on others. Entrepreneurship has meant I've had even less regard for my boundaries and care, so that's out 🤔
@@Heyu7her3 The two don't have to be mutually exclusive. I have a housecleaning business so I have the responsibility of the houses I know need cleaned by me each day. It's simple and straightforward. The work is physical and consuming so it helps me shut down my PTSD intrusive thoughts du jour. It's definitely hard with boundaries because you are in people's spaces. I keep people away from me by moving fast, being smelly, and having a headlamp on I can shine in their eyes. Since I own the business, charge low prices and I'm great at cleaning I can selectively choose clients who are docile, absent (not at home when I clean) and desperate. I won't work for pushy people! They are motivated to do what I want to keep me happy. My point is that there are no rules. Use the creativity our madness grants us to craft exactly the work environment you can thrive in. If I could do it anyone can because I started out broke, severely alcoholic and completely out of shape.
Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, getting extremely overwhelmed and giving up to end up hating myself. So now I’ve learned that to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday is the solution to getting things done and having a respect for my abilities. It sounds stupidly simple but its crazy how it adds up. Mediocre consistency is the mindset that’s changed my life, that’s gave me a goal in the midst of a very bad depression/burn out. I had to overhaul how I approached taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 40-60% effort into my journaling habit, workouts and how I study - to make sure I do it I began recording and posting it on my yt channel. Consistency has been the biggest game changer and lowering my expectations has been the way to complete any task.
I have the same problem. I never considered just giving small mediocre efforts everyday because I was always taught to do your best. The trouble with that is that I just won't start and keep feeling more behind.
I was teamleader for a team once. I tried to point out I was struggling with too much work, asking for help. Didn't get it so fell into burnout and went off sick. They had a man take over from me: part-time! How valued did I feel?? Then he was made full-time and within a few months had a full-time colleague! 🤔🙄
Yep. A lot of us think that we have to give all we have at all times. But that's simply not sustainable. I am trying to le-learn that as well. I used to work in bursts only but it was killing me and my health suffered as well.
I like to think of these periods as "recalibration". So if I just finished a project, or a vacation, or whatever, and then I crash, I use the time to figure out all the "lessons" or insights from the last active period. Rest = recalibration, so that when I come out again I'm actually a few steps forward psychologically or emotionally or whatever.
I totally agree with you. No reason for self shaming after a period of productive creativity. I believe giving myself permission to crash is earned and the need to rest and rejuveinate is normal.
You hit a nerve... In 2016 I shot a short documentary on an artist friend for a class project. I uploaded it to TH-cam. Someone working on a documentary about my friend for our local PBS station saw it and hired me as second camera and bought some of my footage. The project went on to win an Emmy. I had success right out of the gate. With expectations so high now, I panicked and ruined the next thing I worked on. Gave up finishing a personal project. Glad it's not just me. Sorry this sort of thing happens to anyone. Lastly, thank you for this channel. No one else is producing such content that hones in on specific social-emotional experience of CPTSD as you do. Fantastic work!
CPTSD is your self-sabotage mechanism. Personally, I'm aware I'm crashing when I start gaining the weight back and binging on sugar, salt, fat and indulging in alcohol. Then comes the guilt, the anger and the shame. Then I'll have a couple of good days and get back on that horse, only to rinse and repeat a few weeks later. But I'm optimistic. Before deciding to heal myself I had no idea what was happening. Now I do. Keep the faith people.
absolutely speechless. 30 years of intense therapy and huge progress but these talks are literally the most relatable and spot on explanations I’ve ever heard.
This channel is magical. Just when I am going through something that I can’t articulate and think it’s only me, Anna comes out with a video that defines it and I feel validated and clear about the issue. You are a fairy and an angel Anna.
I am always amazed how NASTY people can be with their comments (like what the person said to you with your film). So glad you didn't listen to them. Their is a whole group of us that appreciate your work!
Al-anon helped me so much. I had lost my alcoholic father to suicide. I cried daily for about 10 years until I found that group. I would have never thought it could help. But one day I realized I wasn’t crying anymore…
Thanks for going through everything to do this for the rest of us. I've just discovered the horror, that actually caused my traumas that I've carried for 50+ years. I was so glad when God took my mother and I no longer had to deal with her constant neediness. I'm 66 and I've always dealt with it and still am so much of an empath and should take time for myself, but my roommate has me on eggshells. I just have been programmed to feel like I'm worthless and really don't count. Thanks mother, for telling me how much I wasn't wanted and was an "accident" and how girls were just so much "harder"! What did that mean? Did she have inner hatred for herself? She was "first-born" and had to help bring up an evil brother and 3 sisters. I have an older sister who was an accidental pregnancy for my mother and saw her suffer greatly because of "her self-worth" problems. We really start figuring things out as we get on in years...thank heavens for your help, CCF!
Honestly, the first part of this video made me cry (in a healing way, I hope). This is my whole life... All of my unfinished projects and unexpressed injustice deriding me every day.
Brings back a charming family memory; one of my sisters in a rare (phone) conversation, goes 'your life has been a pile of garbage'. At least I'm glad I cut off both sisters and most cousins, it is bringing me help in healing.
OMG. This comes at such a perfect time for me. My busiest time is coming up, and I'm doing lots of new things this year, so it's not just a time commitment - it's a lot of emotions, potential mistakes, potential dysregulation, and new people and environments to adjust to. All I can think of is how this will impact my sleep, my daily practice, my self care, and my family time. And I created all of this by putting myself out there, doing something brave and new, and I totally don't feel I deserve it. I'm sure I'm going to screw it all up by not showing up on time, forgetting things, offending people, or messing up in some other ways.
this whole video like omg resonates. i have all this career ambition but i feel like i'm moving through molasses in my life. i'm crying healing tears. and hearing about the writer who lost her younger brother, i'm sending such hugs her way.
I need to start eating like you Anna, I want the same results. By the way, I have been learning so much from CCF the past year, and I crash way less, and way lighter. I eat way less sugar but need to eat better and lose 20 lbs (again) and stay there, so I will definetly do research on CPTSD and food/nutritions. I owe it all to you, Anna, i believe I can heal and the fact that I feel less bi-polar is the best feeling ever. Thank you!
😢This has happened to me so many times... I am sidelined and crash, because the feeling of needing to fight, on top of the regular day to day struggles that occur with C-PTSD, ADHD, being a DV survivor and Nuerodivergent Mom, to 2 Autistic Children. I don't understand why ANYONE that can see how hard I try...would ever intentionally want to hurt, or discouraged me.😢 Thank you ❤
Laurie, I feel like there aren't any people who get it anymore!!! The good ones are dying out!!!😲 when I run onto a good one, they are elderly, wise, and giving. They know the way of decency!! It's not your fault people are ugly now. Please know you're not alone.👍💪❤️😉
You're doing such a good job Anna. I appreciate that you've shared your journey with us and help us on ours. It bugged me that your boss was such a hater that he would lie and say that the big boss would say such a thing!🤦🏾♀️ I'm glad you checked the source. I had a few situations where either someone lied about what someone else said and they were passing this false info to me or someone lied about something I said and made up something false that I never said and it damaged some relationships. What possesses people to do that?! 😢
Isn't it mind boggling that the input or lies of just *one* person can throw all your progress out the window if you have CPTSD?! I feel like in my case it's not always one person (though that's absolutely happened) sometimes it's a small collection of circumstances. I'm still able to be dysregulated by thoughts of certain events in my past. Thanks for covering this!
You become inspired that your going to move forward , a level of energy freedom , I’m back , I can breathe and start to create , then the opposite , crash out of spirit energy . Thank you .
Choosing a vegan lifestyle made such a difference for me when it came to my mood and energy. I wish I would have made the change sooner. I have been vegan now for 7 and half years and I love it. I use to be 264lbs,( now maintaining at 140lbs.) and was miserable. I lost 96lbs before going vegan. But it helps so much. I get excited about exercise, excited about all that I could eat and finding that spices was also a game changer. I also get compliments about my age. I am 41 and I get asked if I am 28-33. Comparing my old i.d. to new one I look like a different person. And with the lifestyle change I feel has been instrumental in keeping a good mood and energy to fight against the frozen, paralyzing and depressing moments. I am a new person and yoga and meditation make me feel clear, optimistic and energized. Good luck out there to all. despite my progress, it still is a process.
Thank you for doing these videos 🤗 They're helping me understand why i can't function now after over 40 years of struggling. Probably helping many others too ❤ it's extremely worse now as I'm dealing with huge financial stress
20:34 My meditation on my Daily Practice is always active. Walking meditating. Dish washing meditating. Dusting meditating. We’re completely disconnected from our bodies when we’re disregulated or crashing. I love it when I let my body and the physical world have gravity. And I get so much done and feel so much better about myself.
I wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for the profound impact you’ve had on my life through your TH-cam channel. I am truly grateful for your dedication on raising awareness and offering hope to so many. I will forever be thankful to you for helping me heal my trauma wounds. ❤
This video is a reminder for me that, yes I still have a way to go, but I also have gotten amazingly far! I understand what happened to me and how to move forward much better since discovering your channel. Thank you so much! 🙏
thankyou for helping me realize that all the self care I do is meaningful. It does make sense to take the effort even when it feels like walking with lead boots ❤❤
I cried listening to this video. I cried when you shared your stories crashing after that one person got jealous and made mean comments about your film and that one boss sabotaged you with some bullshits. I got so sad you couldn't stand up. That has been how I felt, and it makes so much sense, and I am so glad you are here to help everyone with cptsd. Thank you for doing your work.
For me it depends on how I sleep if I get a good night's sleep I am usually pretty good the next and I wake up at 1 or 3 a.m. and don't go back to sleep my day is a struggle. Waking up so early I listen to audiobooks. Sometimes it will lull me back to sleep. Tension is the worst wake up to a tense body seems to prevent going back to sleep.
WOW! This is not a coincidence that I am watching this now! Thank you Anna! I am an artist and I have been blocked for years! I am trying again to make art to sell and now I am thinking of all the fears that are blocking me. My body physically hurts thinking about them. I want, so badly, to: BE...FLOW....CREATE...BUILD...MAKE... all the ideas that I have!!! without this constriction on my chest and head. I'm not even halfway through this video and I had to write. I can't wait to watch the rest of the video and learn what to do for myself. Thank you sooooo much! (and Im a member of CCF and going to the DP zoom meetings and committed to healing! Thank you for all your wisdom, LOVE, and sharing this here. Im hopeful!!!...Sue Ellen)
Thanks for your comment, and thanks for being a member, AND so glad you're going to the Peer DP meetings! I've found the DP a really good tool for unblocking creatively, I think if you keep at it you will have good results as well. :) Julie@TeamFairy
I'm finding your content so comforting and ringing so true for me. I've been going through an especially hard time for a while now. And I feel like it's so comforting that somebody actually understands what I deal with everyday. ❤
your work is so important and valuable. Listening to you I finally feel understood and start to understand myself. Things feel less dramatic now, also these crashes or fallbacks. I can overcome them like I have overcome so much already! Thank you 🙏
Where have I been? I have just discovered Ann she is awesome. You have been describing all my crappy childhood behavior. I am excited and happy to finally discovered this channel. Thank you
I have done this my whole life. I just thought I was lazy. It happened so much after my kids were born and now I know I suffered with severe postpartum depression. I spent so much time in bed, and was very nervous about even being around other people other than my immediate family. The main feeling was just being overwhelmed. I still do this a LITTLE, when I am anticipating a lot of public events that I have to do. It is like a procrastination mechanism. Thank you for explaining this!
Glad you're here. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It's a good tool to help sort out things like this. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
I needed this so much. I have been in a crash for over 2 months, I just didn't know what it was. I have done this my entire adult life. I'll have a few good weeks then horrible crashes where I feel completely out of control with my eating, not sleeping, and wanting to isolate. These can last for months. I have diabetes and I have been in this place where I'm eating everything wrong and sitting up till 3 in the morning, and I know I have to get up for work early. Part of my brain says, " You got to stop," but I feel completely out of control until it gets unbearable, and I have to start taking care of myself. When I'm in this state, it feels I have no choice but to do things like overeat. I grew up in an extreme domestic violence situation, and I'm just now starting to see how much my life has been effected.Thank you, and this is life-changing for me.
What you are describing is so familiar, and yes, such a normal response to trauma! Maybe today is the day, because you are connected here, you can take a small step in a direction that feels stronger for you. If you haven't tried it yet, my free Daily Practice course can be very helpful to clear away whatever is in the way, and get back on a simple and positive path. xbit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Not to come across any negative way, but have you ever had a psych eval? Asking because cycles of overdrive (lack of sleep) and not sound like bipolar disorder, which typically appears in adulthood.
I know „crashing“ from me/cfs as a state of absolute exhaustion after physical or mental activity that can last for days, weeks or even years. The advice that doctors give you is to pace and rest a lot and to get used to this life. On my journey I already discovered some similarities between me/cfs and cptsd or that perhaps cfs is a kind of symptom of cptsd… and that I can much more than rest and that I can get better. Your channel helps me a lot to try and figure this out. Especially in my times of crashes I take my time on the sofa to get new ideas from you. I am very thankful and wish you all the best! ❤
Reaching the part where you had a tough year. I've been there. Had the urge to tell you I love you! You are amazing! Thank you for your magic. Is just what I need right now.
Really happy to hear food being addressed as important to regulation. I knew it with my kids when they were little. . Tantrums without fail when sugars were eaten. I'm not much different. At least now coupled with other regulation strategies and knowledge of my cptsd I can try eating better and succeed in maintaining it because it did feel really good. Thanks CCF. You are like a big sister I never had. Love ya work!!
I do this at every job. I do so well, I work hard, my co workers like me, but after a year or so I get this feeling. Like this isn’t what I’m supposed to do with my life. I need this or that to feel good. I wonder, often, how people do life. How do you work, keep a house together, and Mom? I know that it’s hard for everyone, yet I just think I can’t make it.
This Lady was jealous of you! She didn’t like how happy you were. You are amazing . I have learned so much from you. Thank for sharing your story with us.♥️God Bless!
I’ve been learning a lot by watching your videos. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience!! I have struggled for years, I will probably write you one day. I’ve always known I had trauma after trauma my entire life and never had time to deal with any. All different types! I’ve been in trauma therapy when I could afford it. Now I’m clean and sober again 15 months and just older and wiser more able to grasp these theses things and I’ve been desperate for learning deeply what’s really going on and what I can really do to help myself. I’m so overwhelmed and just doing my best, everyone reminds me not to be hard on myself! Thank you again for your journey and courage to share, your time and support!
Glad to hear you are on your healing journey. Keep up the great work! To help you stay on the healing path, you may want to try free Daily Practice that appeared to be very beneficial for many people struggling with trauma: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
This is me. I’ve watched many of your videos and relate so much, but I can’t point to a childhood trauma. My memories of childhood are good. I had loving parents and community with no abuse that I’m aware of but still I have struggled with limerence and what you describe in this video. I’ve always thought it’s just my personality but now I’m wondering. This journey to understand ourself is challenging. Thx for your content
People struggle with different traumas and some of the symptoms are the same. Glad our video adds a value to your healing journey! Please keep watching, there is more to come! Nika@TeamFairy
The stoic's resolve thinks in terms of engaged volition. Their noble discipline underscores the schedule of 'just do it' mentality. But improved 'constancy' allows for rest and revitalization. And yet there is more to our attentive mind than the ego's self-referential directives. The inner world of 'becoming' is subject to a dualistic penduluum of success and failure, praise and blame, elation and dejection or victory and defeat. What is missing is an allowance of simply 'being'. One rests and does some minor incidental activity. The sincerity of simply thus expresses a whole minded involvement of dishes being washed or trash taking out. The Whole of Life is expressed in such sincere yet vast immediacy. There is an incredible strength and intelligence at play as the spaciousness of the present mind applies itself to other tasks. Rather than 'the mountain to climb' of becoming is One's Qualitative Rapport, of being, and to continue to carry-on...free of narrative's inspiring and deflating metaphors. That "inner well" is the actuality of well-being. Let the openness of the present save longer and longer stretches of timeless contributions of pure "action". She's right, karma yoga move us all as thought-free peace rolls on
Wow, this is so timely. I'm working on getting my own business off the ground. The first attempt was very successful but so stressful and overwhelming that I crashed hard and lost confidence in myself. This is really eye opening to know this is a symptom and how to help manage this. Thank you for sharing stories and tools. There is hope!
I have had so many creative crushes and so much self resentment because of what I was told by people who simply had their own issues or who have been assholes like your boss. I always thought it is a unique thing that happens to sensitive creative people. But I am sure now that it is vulnerability due to early childhood trauma and cPTSD. I wish I had more resilience in me.
I’ve had this happen to me several times when viscous people attack things I’ve been proud of. So impressed that you advocated for yourself even though you didn’t reproach that nasty dishonest boss.
This isn’t related to my childhood. My cptsd isnt childhood related at all. I developed Cora’s later on and it’s also related to to the crap I’ve gone through that never ends and chemical warfare. Maybe it’s severe burn out too. I appreciate this video. At least it’s validation. Thanks
Thank you ,thank you thank you .I've self sabotaged for years ,letting others influence my negative thinking .I stumbled upon your channel and you instantly resonated with me .
What a relief! It’s like PEC- post event collapse. I never understood why even after a good event I would seem to collapse. Now, I’m learning to factor this all in and instead of striving so earnestly, I can try softer.
Thank you so much for your honesty and your own story!!!!!!!!!! I also crashed. I was extremely successful and then have been fired and betrayed by my own team and boss. I am hiding now. Even I go forward I feel heavy and have a big resistance and resentments against the whole mankind.
This is what I've been doing all day and I feel awful about it. Feeling totally overwhelmed and struggled to do anything. Kept shutting down for hours.
Wow just wow. This has been pivotal and so glad I found this and you. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me as I’ve been experiencing these ebbs and flows but didn’t know what or why.
This has been happening to me a lot in the last two years. I've "coped" all my life; i'm almost 60 now. Could this be an aging thing? Or my mind/body are tired and less resilient? Body/mind changes assoc to aging? All of the above? Thank you so much, this vid is timely.
Iam so grateful for your videos. Seeing that other people experience crashes and the way that you unpacked it describes what happens to me on a very deep level. Thankyou For making these videos.There are times when I watch them and feel so validated. You have literally saved my life at times when I feel so crippled.🙏💕
I wasn’t sure what you meant at first but I think I experienced crashing. I took gymnastics as a kid, until some other kids were mean to me. Then I quit. If I was ever doing anything as an adult, I would stop the minute it was criticized. I ended up quitting my job after years of psychological abuse from management. And I am dreading looking for work again.
10:28 - "I'm not doing what I knew I was meant to be doing" These words My heart For my own Present stone Living here Living now Living to And from the bow Stand in rain Hours on end Pray for sunshine And depend Faith around Belief and love Pace and found By Heaven above *** At Present (fgb (c) 9-19-23)
Thank you Anna for being vulnerable for the rest of us. You helped me validate my feelings and to understand how cptd has impacted my life and relationships. Not sure if you have a video on how to handle the guilt of how this hurt those in my life...just struggling a bit in this area. I do try to talk to myself like I would a friend. One step at a time is a good plan.
Thank you. You're a great help I keep leaking creativity while listening, but silencing that and knowing when to hear my words and trusting them compared to hearing another and seeing them pull through for themselves... makes for a great combination for putting your lessons into practical leads
Yep happened this week - thought I had turned a corner and went all day gettin things done..a rare event considering. Been down ever since or back to my “ normal” - at a loss at this point
You might give Daily Practice a try. It might sound counterintuitive that taking time to write fears & resentments helps even out productivity, but I've found it to be the case. bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Julie@TeamFairy
I envy the people that can get weeks or months of being in a burst. Mine tend to only last for an hour, and I usually only get a couple of them a month.
This video is life changing for me. According to traditional standards I’m considered successful but there’s always been a part of me who STRUGGLES with basic functions. For the longest time I thought I was lazy even begin to think I was depressed. Knowing now that this is connected to my childhood trauma; growing up with a narcissistic mom I can now unpack this is a healthy way & finally STOP feeling like I’m constantly failing - Thank you 🙏
👍❤️😉
Wow, I'm so glad the video was helpful! Thank you for sharing, we're so happy you're here :)
-Calista@TeamFairy
I can relate.I was always told and believe that I came from a good home, was always well provided for, even “ spoilt”.
I work now in a successful career but am not wealthy.
When I was growing up my parents gave us as much as they could materially and worked hard but they were so emotionally distant I don’t recall ever spending any quality time with them.Feelings were simply not allowed good or bad.I remember always being told not to feel certain way, was forever unable to express myself.I received no positive affirmations or feedback so when I-achieved anything it went unnoticed
I soon learnt that bad behaviours got no attention either but I continued to start the process or self sabotage at a young age and was anorexic by my early twenties needing medical intervention.
By my late twenties I was a full blown alcoholic and spent years in limerence.
I didn’t even know what it was until I came across crappy childhood fairy which has finally diffused so much shame for me
My parents constantly lamented me for ruining my life when I had been given so much.I felt so guilty all my life for not knowing what was wrong with me and for not feeling content or happy when I knew people in the world had suffered so much and had a much worse upbringing than me.I was lucky so what was wrong with me?
I struggle now even in my fifties with severe anxiety and depression and become so disregulated in work where I am surrounded by fully functioning adults and I feel like a child unable to grow up and struggling to get though the day.
I follow a spiritual path and thank God for it helping me daily
This channel has helped me so much to learn things about myself I did not know before
I can be productive one day and feel exhausted and tearful the next feeling I can’t trust myself anymore and struggle to make plans.I didn’t know what was happening to me and thought it was all menopausal symptoms which I know I use as an excuse to try to explain to people why I feel like this.It causes increased anxiety because I can’t “ perform” well at work and it’s like massive brain fog, can’t think straight and often have to re read emails over and over as nothing is sinking in.I feel so powerless in these situations and have been on the brink of quitting my job but know I can’t afford to do that.
I can’t explain to my well adjusted colleagues what is really going on.
Thank you for your channel
This is the final boss you have to beat to stay gainfully employed with serious mental illness. You have to have a job you can force yourself to be able to do no matter how bad you feel. Because with serious mental illness, you have more "bad" days than any employer can tolerate.
For me, this meant starting my own business so I can be by myself when I am at my worst. I also picked a type of job that I can lose myself in when I am very symptomatic.
This is hard stuff.
For me, I have to do an actual job that I'm forced to show up for due to direct impact on others. Entrepreneurship has meant I've had even less regard for my boundaries and care, so that's out 🤔
@@Heyu7her3 The two don't have to be mutually exclusive. I have a housecleaning business so I have the responsibility of the houses I know need cleaned by me each day. It's simple and straightforward. The work is physical and consuming so it helps me shut down my PTSD intrusive thoughts du jour. It's definitely hard with boundaries because you are in people's spaces. I keep people away from me by moving fast, being smelly, and having a headlamp on I can shine in their eyes.
Since I own the business, charge low prices and I'm great at cleaning I can selectively choose clients who are docile, absent (not at home when I clean) and desperate. I won't work for pushy people! They are motivated to do what I want to keep me happy. My point is that there are no rules. Use the creativity our madness grants us to craft exactly the work environment you can thrive in. If I could do it anyone can because I started out broke, severely alcoholic and completely out of shape.
Historically I have a habit of going too hard, not being able to sustain the Herculean effort, getting extremely overwhelmed and giving up to end up hating myself. So now I’ve learned that to give a small, consistent mediocre effort everyday is the solution to getting things done and having a respect for my abilities. It sounds stupidly simple but its crazy how it adds up. Mediocre consistency is the mindset that’s changed my life, that’s gave me a goal in the midst of a very bad depression/burn out.
I had to overhaul how I approached taking care of my brain (exercise, journaling, studying etc) by practising mediocre consistency. Now I try to put in consistent 40-60% effort into my journaling habit, workouts and how I study - to make sure I do it I began recording and posting it on my yt channel. Consistency has been the biggest game changer and lowering my expectations has been the way to complete any task.
RISIKA, GREAT IDEA!!! 👍💪😲😊😉❤️
I have the same problem. I never considered just giving small mediocre efforts everyday because I was always taught to do your best. The trouble with that is that I just won't start and keep feeling more behind.
I was teamleader for a team once. I tried to point out I was struggling with too much work, asking for help. Didn't get it so fell into burnout and went off sick. They had a man take over from me: part-time! How valued did I feel?? Then he was made full-time and within a few months had a full-time colleague! 🤔🙄
@@bridgetveldhuis4473 ughhhhhh... I know that experience all too well _(and for multiple pursuits, unfortunately)_
Yep. A lot of us think that we have to give all we have at all times. But that's simply not sustainable. I am trying to le-learn that as well. I used to work in bursts only but it was killing me and my health suffered as well.
I like to think of these periods as "recalibration". So if I just finished a project, or a vacation, or whatever, and then I crash, I use the time to figure out all the "lessons" or insights from the last active period. Rest = recalibration, so that when I come out again I'm actually a few steps forward psychologically or emotionally or whatever.
This is a great mindset 😍
Excellent way to think of it!
Yeah. For me it’s “need to recharge my batteries”.
I totally agree with you. No reason for self shaming after a period of productive creativity. I believe giving myself permission to crash is earned and the need to rest and rejuveinate is normal.
❤ I think we need to have time to recuperate ....
You hit a nerve... In 2016 I shot a short documentary on an artist friend for a class project. I uploaded it to TH-cam. Someone working on a documentary about my friend for our local PBS station saw it and hired me as second camera and bought some of my footage. The project went on to win an Emmy. I had success right out of the gate. With expectations so high now, I panicked and ruined the next thing I worked on. Gave up finishing a personal project. Glad it's not just me. Sorry this sort of thing happens to anyone.
Lastly, thank you for this channel. No one else is producing such content that hones in on specific social-emotional experience of CPTSD as you do. Fantastic work!
CPTSD is your self-sabotage mechanism. Personally, I'm aware I'm crashing when I start gaining the weight back and binging on sugar, salt, fat and indulging in alcohol. Then comes the guilt, the anger and the shame.
Then I'll have a couple of good days and get back on that horse, only to rinse and repeat a few weeks later.
But I'm optimistic. Before deciding to heal myself I had no idea what was happening. Now I do. Keep the faith people.
absolutely speechless. 30 years of intense therapy and huge progress but these talks are literally the most relatable and spot on explanations I’ve ever heard.
I never knew this was a thing, thank you for the information. Makes me feel less ashamed about it happening.
I'm so glad, you have nothing to be ashamed of. -Calista@TeamFairy
This channel is magical. Just when I am going through something that I can’t articulate and think it’s only me, Anna comes out with a video that defines it and I feel validated and clear about the issue. You are a fairy and an angel Anna.
I do this all the time. Start stop start stop. It’s crazy. Ready for it to go away so I can just do “normal”.
Ooh boy, this is soo me. All of it. The crash, the "pause" and disregulation.. and all the thoughts and "jello".
I'm so glad you're here now! -Calista@TeamFairy
This is a pattern I’ve experienced for decades. Thank goodness for your description and health suggestions.
I'm so glad the video was helpful :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I am always amazed how NASTY people can be with their comments (like what the person said to you with your film). So glad you didn't listen to them. Their is a whole group of us that appreciate your work!
Al-anon helped me so much. I had lost my alcoholic father to suicide. I cried daily for about 10 years until I found that group. I would have never thought it could help. But one day I realized I wasn’t crying anymore…
Thanks for going through everything to do this for the rest of us. I've just discovered the horror, that actually caused my traumas that I've carried for 50+ years. I was so glad when God took my mother and I no longer had to deal with her constant neediness. I'm 66 and I've always dealt with it and still am so much of an empath and should take time for myself, but my roommate has me on eggshells. I just have been programmed to feel like I'm worthless and really don't count. Thanks mother, for telling me how much I wasn't wanted and was an "accident" and how girls were just so much "harder"! What did that mean? Did she have inner hatred for herself? She was "first-born" and had to help bring up an evil brother and 3 sisters. I have an older sister who was an accidental pregnancy for my mother and saw her suffer greatly because of "her self-worth" problems. We really start figuring things out as we get on in years...thank heavens for your help, CCF!
Honestly, the first part of this video made me cry (in a healing way, I hope). This is my whole life... All of my unfinished projects and unexpressed injustice deriding me every day.
Small actions taken consistently are like super-vitamins
-CCF 21:49
My friend subscribed me to you because my childhood is currently a pile of garbage so im gonna be wathing a lot of your stuff.
You have a good friend.
@@Anakin_XI really do 🙏
You're in the right place! Welcome to the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Brings back a charming family memory; one of my sisters in a rare (phone) conversation, goes 'your life has been a pile of garbage'. At least I'm glad I cut off both sisters and most cousins, it is bringing me help in healing.
Me too!
I have made progress in many areas but my fear of success and debilitating procrastination is out of control! I don't know what is stopping me.
I zone out in front of Netflix
OMG. This comes at such a perfect time for me. My busiest time is coming up, and I'm doing lots of new things this year, so it's not just a time commitment - it's a lot of emotions, potential mistakes, potential dysregulation, and new people and environments to adjust to. All I can think of is how this will impact my sleep, my daily practice, my self care, and my family time. And I created all of this by putting myself out there, doing something brave and new, and I totally don't feel I deserve it. I'm sure I'm going to screw it all up by not showing up on time, forgetting things, offending people, or messing up in some other ways.
Oh no. You are going to do so amazingly well, you'll surprise yourself. All the very best.
@@becauseitsjoyinafrica ❤️❤️❤️
this whole video like omg resonates. i have all this career ambition but i feel like i'm moving through molasses in my life. i'm crying healing tears. and hearing about the writer who lost her younger brother, i'm sending such hugs her way.
Moving through molasses. That’s how I felt too often. So hard.
Thank you for your kind words for the letter writer! -Calista@TeamFairy
i have a VERY similar story to Gemma's. the absolute profound loneliness of it all is staggering.
I need to start eating like you Anna, I want the same results. By the way, I have been learning so much from CCF the past year, and I crash way less, and way lighter. I eat way less sugar but need to eat better and lose 20 lbs (again) and stay there, so I will definetly do research on CPTSD and food/nutritions. I owe it all to you, Anna, i believe I can heal and the fact that I feel less bi-polar is the best feeling ever. Thank you!
😢This has happened to me so many times... I am sidelined and crash, because the feeling of needing to fight, on top of the regular day to day struggles that occur with C-PTSD, ADHD, being a DV survivor and Nuerodivergent Mom, to 2 Autistic Children. I don't understand why ANYONE that can see how hard I try...would ever intentionally want to hurt, or discouraged me.😢 Thank you ❤
Laurie, I feel like there aren't any people who get it anymore!!! The good ones are dying out!!!😲 when I run onto a good one, they are elderly, wise, and giving. They know the way of decency!! It's not your fault people are ugly now.
Please know you're not alone.👍💪❤️😉
You're doing such a good job Anna. I appreciate that you've shared your journey with us and help us on ours.
It bugged me that your boss was such a hater that he would lie and say that the big boss would say such a thing!🤦🏾♀️ I'm glad you checked the source.
I had a few situations where either someone lied about what someone else said and they were passing this false info to me or someone lied about something I said and made up something false that I never said and it damaged some relationships.
What possesses people to do that?! 😢
Isn't it mind boggling that the input or lies of just *one* person can throw all your progress out the window if you have CPTSD?! I feel like in my case it's not always one person (though that's absolutely happened) sometimes it's a small collection of circumstances. I'm still able to be dysregulated by thoughts of certain events in my past. Thanks for covering this!
Has anyone noticed that Anna gets more beautiful with every video she posts? I think she’s actually aging backwards! 🥰
You become inspired that your going to move forward , a level of energy freedom , I’m back , I can breathe and start to create , then the opposite , crash out of spirit energy . Thank you .
Choosing a vegan lifestyle made such a difference for me when it came to my mood and energy. I wish I would have made the change sooner. I have been vegan now for 7 and half years and I love it. I use to be 264lbs,( now maintaining at 140lbs.) and was miserable. I lost 96lbs before going vegan. But it helps so much. I get excited about exercise, excited about all that I could eat and finding that spices was also a game changer. I also get compliments about my age. I am 41 and I get asked if I am 28-33. Comparing my old i.d. to new one I look like a different person. And with the lifestyle change I feel has been instrumental in keeping a good mood and energy to fight against the frozen, paralyzing and depressing moments. I am a new person and yoga and meditation make me feel clear, optimistic and energized. Good luck out there to all. despite my progress, it still is a process.
Thank you for doing these videos 🤗 They're helping me understand why i can't function now after over 40 years of struggling. Probably helping many others too ❤ it's extremely worse now as I'm dealing with huge financial stress
Ah, this is me. I always crash. Thank you. Maybe I can keep on writing, online and my book, now. Much love!
You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy
What a timing.....😢 I couldn't get anything done today and I'm literally shut down
I don't want to get out of bed it's my safe place. Calm cool quiet very dimly lit . I don't Feel depressed but not getting my work done
You're in the right place! I'm so glad you found the video. -Calista@TeamFairy
20:34 My meditation on my Daily Practice is always active. Walking meditating. Dish washing meditating. Dusting meditating. We’re completely disconnected from our bodies when we’re disregulated or crashing. I love it when I let my body and the physical world have gravity. And I get so much done and feel so much better about myself.
I wanted to take a moment to express my deepest gratitude for the profound impact you’ve had on my life through your TH-cam channel.
I am truly grateful for your dedication on raising awareness and offering hope to so many. I will forever be thankful to you for helping me heal my trauma wounds. ❤
Wonderful! Thank you for your comment!
Nika@TeamFairy
This video is a reminder for me that, yes I still have a way to go, but I also have gotten amazingly far! I understand what happened to me and how to move forward much better since discovering your channel. Thank you so much! 🙏
I love your mission statement: I want to change the way the world views trauma, and how to help people dealing with it.
thankyou for helping me realize that all the self care I do is meaningful. It does make sense to take the effort even when it feels like walking with lead boots ❤❤
Absolutely! -Calista@TeamFairy
This came at a good time. I'm having a "crash" day right now! This video is very helpful.
Glad to hear the video resonates with you. Hope your day ends well.
Nika@TeamFairy
I cried listening to this video. I cried when you shared your stories crashing after that one person got jealous and made mean comments about your film and that one boss sabotaged you with some bullshits. I got so sad you couldn't stand up. That has been how I felt, and it makes so much sense, and I am so glad you are here to help everyone with cptsd. Thank you for doing your work.
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
For me it depends on how I sleep if I get a good night's sleep I am usually pretty good the next and I wake up at 1 or 3 a.m. and don't go back to sleep my day is a struggle. Waking up so early I listen to audiobooks. Sometimes it will lull me back to sleep. Tension is the worst wake up to a tense body seems to prevent going back to sleep.
WOW! This is not a coincidence that I am watching this now! Thank you Anna! I am an artist and I have been blocked for years! I am trying again to make art to sell and now I am thinking of all the fears that are blocking me. My body physically hurts thinking about them. I want, so badly, to: BE...FLOW....CREATE...BUILD...MAKE... all the ideas that I have!!! without this constriction on my chest and head. I'm not even halfway through this video and I had to write. I can't wait to watch the rest of the video and learn what to do for myself. Thank you sooooo much! (and Im a member of CCF and going to the DP zoom meetings and committed to healing! Thank you for all your wisdom, LOVE, and sharing this here. Im hopeful!!!...Sue Ellen)
Thanks for your comment, and thanks for being a member, AND so glad you're going to the Peer DP meetings! I've found the DP a really good tool for unblocking creatively, I think if you keep at it you will have good results as well. :)
Julie@TeamFairy
Thank you Julie. @@CrappyChildhoodFairy
This video is gold! It helped me understand what has been happening with me. Thank you so much Anna! ❤
I'm finding your content so comforting and ringing so true for me. I've been going through an especially hard time for a while now. And I feel like it's so comforting that somebody actually understands what I deal with everyday. ❤
Wow, I'm so glad the channel has been helpful. Thank you for taking the time to comment, we're all sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
your work is so important and valuable. Listening to you I finally feel understood and start to understand myself. Things feel less dramatic now, also these crashes or fallbacks. I can overcome them like I have overcome so much already! Thank you 🙏
In a crash right now, lots of love❤
Sending you encouragement :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Where have I been? I have just discovered Ann she is awesome. You have been describing all my crappy childhood behavior. I am excited and happy to finally discovered this channel.
Thank you
Welcome to the channel :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have done this my whole life. I just thought I was lazy. It happened so much after my kids were born and now I know I suffered with severe postpartum depression. I spent so much time in bed, and was very nervous about even being around other people other than my immediate family. The main feeling was just being overwhelmed. I still do this a LITTLE, when I am anticipating a lot of public events that I have to do. It is like a procrastination mechanism. Thank you for explaining this!
Glad you're here. If you haven't already, try Anna's Daily Practice. It's a good tool to help sort out things like this. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
Yes! Sometimes small crashes. Sleep deprived and racing thoughts.
I needed this so much. I have been in a crash for over 2 months, I just didn't know what it was. I have done this my entire adult life. I'll have a few good weeks then horrible crashes where I feel completely out of control with my eating, not sleeping, and wanting to isolate. These can last for months. I have diabetes and I have been in this place where I'm eating everything wrong and sitting up till 3 in the morning, and I know I have to get up for work early. Part of my brain says, " You got to stop," but I feel completely out of control until it gets unbearable, and I have to start taking care of myself. When I'm in this state, it feels I have no choice but to do things like overeat. I grew up in an extreme domestic violence situation, and I'm just now starting to see how much my life has been effected.Thank you, and this is life-changing for me.
What you are describing is so familiar, and yes, such a normal response to trauma! Maybe today is the day, because you are connected here, you can take a small step in a direction that feels stronger for you. If you haven't tried it yet, my free Daily Practice course can be very helpful to clear away whatever is in the way, and get back on a simple and positive path. xbit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Not to come across any negative way, but have you ever had a psych eval? Asking because cycles of overdrive (lack of sleep) and not sound like bipolar disorder, which typically appears in adulthood.
I know „crashing“ from me/cfs as a state of absolute exhaustion after physical or mental activity that can last for days, weeks or even years. The advice that doctors give you is to pace and rest a lot and to get used to this life. On my journey I already discovered some similarities between me/cfs and cptsd or that perhaps cfs is a kind of symptom of cptsd… and that I can much more than rest and that I can get better. Your channel helps me a lot to try and figure this out. Especially in my times of crashes I take my time on the sofa to get new ideas from you. I am very thankful and wish you all the best! ❤
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful, thanks for sharing :) -Calista@TeamFairy
It's been seven years for me
I can't describe how much I need hope
It scares me that I have no friends left!!!!
I can relate to this girl's story in the letter with the mom dynamic and the worries. Gemma is so strong 🌟
Glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
~Fasting is actually really good to do periodically~
Reaching the part where you had a tough year. I've been there. Had the urge to tell you I love you! You are amazing! Thank you for your magic. Is just what I need right now.
Really happy to hear food being addressed as important to regulation. I knew it with my kids when they were little. . Tantrums without fail when sugars were eaten. I'm not much different. At least now coupled with other regulation strategies and knowledge of my cptsd I can try eating better and succeed in maintaining it because it did feel really good. Thanks CCF. You are like a big sister I never had. Love ya work!!
Thank you for watching and for your comment. Yes, it's all connected!
Nika@TeamFairy
I do this at every job. I do so well, I work hard, my co workers like me, but after a year or so I get this feeling. Like this isn’t what I’m supposed to do with my life.
I need this or that to feel good.
I wonder, often, how people do life. How do you work, keep a house together, and Mom?
I know that it’s hard for everyone, yet I just think I can’t make it.
This Lady was jealous of you! She didn’t like how happy you were. You are amazing . I have learned so much from you. Thank for sharing your story with us.♥️God Bless!
I’ve been learning a lot by watching your videos. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and experience!!
I have struggled for years, I will probably write you one day. I’ve always known I had trauma after trauma my entire life and never had time to deal with any. All different types! I’ve been in trauma therapy when I could afford it. Now I’m clean and sober again 15 months and just older and wiser more able to grasp these theses things and I’ve been desperate for learning deeply what’s really going on and what I can really do to help myself.
I’m so overwhelmed and just doing my best, everyone reminds me not to be hard on myself!
Thank you again for your journey and courage to share, your time and support!
Glad to hear you are on your healing journey. Keep up the great work! To help you stay on the healing path, you may want to try free Daily Practice that appeared to be very beneficial for many people struggling with trauma: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
18:32 Yes. Videos take hours and days to prep for. But getting that script together really sharpens your focus.
You are amazing and a blessing to us. Thank you. So much.
This is me. I’ve watched many of your videos and relate so much, but I can’t point to a childhood trauma. My memories of childhood are good. I had loving parents and community with no abuse that I’m aware of but still I have struggled with limerence and what you describe in this video. I’ve always thought it’s just my personality but now I’m wondering. This journey to understand ourself is challenging. Thx for your content
People struggle with different traumas and some of the symptoms are the same. Glad our video adds a value to your healing journey! Please keep watching, there is more to come!
Nika@TeamFairy
Your videos are saving my life. Currently going through a crash right now and needed to hear this. Thank you for making this channel ❤
Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
This is so true!!! This is me. I call it self destruction.
The stoic's resolve thinks in terms of engaged volition. Their noble discipline underscores the schedule of 'just do it' mentality. But improved 'constancy' allows for rest and revitalization. And yet there is more to our attentive mind than the ego's self-referential directives. The inner world of 'becoming' is subject to a dualistic penduluum of success and failure, praise and blame, elation and dejection or victory and defeat. What is missing is an allowance of simply 'being'. One rests and does some minor incidental activity. The sincerity of simply thus expresses a whole minded involvement of dishes being washed or trash taking out. The Whole of Life is expressed in such sincere yet vast immediacy. There is an incredible strength and intelligence at play as the spaciousness of the present mind applies itself to other tasks. Rather than 'the mountain to climb' of becoming is One's Qualitative Rapport, of being, and to continue to carry-on...free of narrative's inspiring and deflating metaphors. That "inner well" is the actuality of well-being. Let the openness of the present save longer and longer stretches of timeless contributions of pure "action". She's right, karma yoga move us all as thought-free peace rolls on
Wow, this is so timely. I'm working on getting my own business off the ground. The first attempt was very successful but so stressful and overwhelming that I crashed hard and lost confidence in myself. This is really eye opening to know this is a symptom and how to help manage this. Thank you for sharing stories and tools. There is hope!
You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy
I have a tendency to never stop due to this. The roller coaster. Your spot on with this. Good work❤
I have had so many creative crushes and so much self resentment because of what I was told by people who simply had their own issues or who have been assholes like your boss. I always thought it is a unique thing that happens to sensitive creative people. But I am sure now that it is vulnerability due to early childhood trauma and cPTSD. I wish I had more resilience in me.
I’ve had this happen to me several times when viscous people attack things I’ve been proud of. So impressed that you advocated for yourself even though you didn’t reproach that nasty dishonest boss.
Oh, man... I needed to see this today. Thank you!
This isn’t related to my childhood. My cptsd isnt childhood related at all. I developed Cora’s later on and it’s also related to to the crap I’ve gone through that never ends and chemical warfare. Maybe it’s severe burn out too. I appreciate this video. At least it’s validation. Thanks
Thank you ,thank you thank you .I've self sabotaged for years ,letting others influence my negative thinking .I stumbled upon your channel and you instantly resonated with me .
What a relief! It’s like PEC- post event collapse. I never understood why even after a good event I would seem to collapse. Now, I’m learning to factor this all in and instead of striving so earnestly, I can try softer.
Comforting. Effective. Accurate. Thank you. Perhaps there really is a touch of magic here.
Please put more episodes on your podcast!! I love listening to them While I’m at work!!! 🥰🥰🥰
I'm so happy to hear that! -Calista@TeamFairy
This happens to me all the time. I didn’t know it was a thing! Man eye opener
Thank you so much for your honesty and your own story!!!!!!!!!! I also crashed. I was extremely successful and then have been fired and betrayed by my own team and boss. I am hiding now. Even I go forward I feel heavy and have a big resistance and resentments against the whole mankind.
Wow, I always just thought I had weird on and off depression. This makes a lot more sense for me. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for being with us! I encourage you to try this FREE Daily Practice course bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
This is what I've been doing all day and I feel awful about it. Feeling totally overwhelmed and struggled to do anything. Kept shutting down for hours.
Wow just wow. This has been pivotal and so glad I found this and you. I thought there was something seriously wrong with me as I’ve been experiencing these ebbs and flows but didn’t know what or why.
This has been happening to me a lot in the last two years. I've "coped" all my life; i'm almost 60 now. Could this be an aging thing? Or my mind/body are tired and less resilient? Body/mind changes assoc to aging? All of the above? Thank you so much, this vid is timely.
I completely relate. Really I have been like this my entire life.
Iam so grateful for your videos. Seeing that other people experience crashes and the way that you unpacked it describes what happens to me on a very deep level. Thankyou For making these videos.There are times when I watch them and feel so validated.
You have literally saved my life at times when I feel so crippled.🙏💕
I'm so glad the channel has been helpful. Thank you for taking the time to comment, I'll make sure Anna reads this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I have more adult onset issues than childhood ptsd, but I have to basically hibernate EVERY Saturday. It helps me to know that Saturday is coming.
I would love to read a book from you! I’m so grateful for your channel.
Thank you for being a part of our community :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Life Saving video for me, literally.
Thank you so much for making these videos. 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
I wasn’t sure what you meant at first but I think I experienced crashing. I took gymnastics as a kid, until some other kids were mean to me. Then I quit. If I was ever doing anything as an adult, I would stop the minute it was criticized. I ended up quitting my job after years of psychological abuse from management. And I am dreading looking for work again.
I had NO idea you did BLE! I started in 2019 and been on and off since, but really believe in it.
10:28 - "I'm not doing what I knew I was meant to be doing"
These words
My heart
For my own
Present stone
Living here
Living now
Living to
And from the bow
Stand in rain
Hours on end
Pray for sunshine
And depend
Faith around
Belief and love
Pace and found
By Heaven above
***
At Present
(fgb (c) 9-19-23)
Gosh! The deepest gratitude for that video, dear Anna! Thank you!
Thank you Anna for being vulnerable for the rest of us. You helped me validate my feelings and to understand how cptd has impacted my life and relationships. Not sure if you have a video on how to handle the guilt of how this hurt those in my life...just struggling a bit in this area. I do try to talk to myself like I would a friend. One step at a time is a good plan.
Another huge thank you Anna! 🤗💕
I love your videos I am a fanon your from the UK charlie ❤❤❤
Anna, I’m so glad that even after 20years you started this channel. It’s helping so many people 🙏🏼❤️
Thank you for your kind words! I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
I just came from my mother"s...I need a nap!!
Thank you. You're a great help
I keep leaking creativity while listening, but silencing that and knowing when to hear my words and trusting them compared to hearing another and seeing them pull through for themselves... makes for a great combination for putting your lessons into practical leads
You were so good and they were jealous, it always goes that way
Yep happened this week - thought I had turned a corner and went all day gettin things done..a rare event considering. Been down ever since or back to my “ normal” - at a loss at this point
You might give Daily Practice a try. It might sound counterintuitive that taking time to write fears & resentments helps even out productivity, but I've found it to be the case.
bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Julie@TeamFairy
Thank you so much for this video❤
I envy the people that can get weeks or months of being in a burst. Mine tend to only last for an hour, and I usually only get a couple of them a month.
That’s bad.
3:37 Oh my God that’s exactly the way it is. Just when I get close…
I'm so glad I found your channel. You're helping so many people n Im thankful 4 u. Thank u thank u thank u❤
You are so welcome! Glad you're with us. :)
Nika@TeamFairy