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SweetFace this is rare.. My ex, for instance.. had a rebound and then they broke up. It takes a while to get over a meaningful relationship. Shortly after the rebound, he sent messages of how he’d love if we got back together. Which I told him I’m with someone else.
@@TeenK7 It happens very often! He's probably not in love with you or want you back. You're just familiar to him and he's lonely. You could be the rebound after the rebound 👀
SweetFace whichever the case is, the ex is still wanting you back. That’s not just the one instance. Like I said, it takes a while to get over a meaningful relationship. Your ex is not going to move on quickly. 🤷🏼♀️
They are most likely just physically attracted but here are two thoughts - 1. A relationship won’t last based off of physical attraction, they will soon get to know them 2. They probably aren’t actually that attractive. Also, while your ex is off with their new gf/bf, you know that they will be comparing you to them and thinking about all of your memories so dont worry, the nostalgia and them missing you will kick in
Act like you don't care post photos of you having the best time of your life on social media. Remember the things that made them obsessed with you at the start. Exceed them. Anyone can get an ex back. You just have to be an improved version of you. That old you is gone. Youre even better than how you were when you were first together. They'll look at that then their current girlfriend and it'll make them wonder why they left you. They'll always want the best and you ARE the best. 🙂
Or current “guy/rebound” which mine left before quarantine, cheated on me and went to move in with her “new Daddy” to boss up and be chillin (havin fun) but she said “I found someone I actually vibe with and haven’t felt so stressed out for the past 3 days with” and she gave up on me yet I took her one wonderful dates, two for one deals on Sushi, couple stuff, good stuff, got her a Swarovski bracelet to show her what she meant to me on V day and sung for her and she became abusive and bit me, she then on the last week we were together asked me “baby can you please get me these clothes” and I said no to her because I noticed she wanted me to get her more shit than usual but being nice I did so and we planned to go eat and it resulted in an argument because she yelled at a passing motorist and a car pulled up next to us and the three of us ended up at the light and the car next to us had some ghetto hood ass mfs and the guy was like “you gonna get your boyfriend ass beat damn” and I told her to shut up n quit talking to random people and she said “I don’t give a fuck” and that ticked me off like first why is she starting shit and then saying she doesn’t care? It could have been avoided but she went off and then we fought about it as they drove off, it left US FIGHTING, she then slammed my door and everything fell apart the next day... then the following week she cheated and said it “IS your fault I left but not your fault I choose to do whatever I want and you HAVE NO CONTROL” word for word... But when I ignored her at times she would be dying for me to pay attention, I don’t play games but at the end felt like that’s all I was doing because I truly tried investing in our relationship. Now I’m in this quarantine, definitely getting back to myself, posting, recording, I am blocked on everything however, if she came back I’d shit myself but wouldn’t hold my breath.
I'm doing this now and it seems like the rebound guy has some insecurities like tagging her in memes on his wall and posted a picture of them together in his tow truck tagged her in it on his wall and liking all her post on her wall i hope things work out for them
Lee Steal no she wasn’t and I still miss her about 8 months later. Just talked to my friend about her last night and I haven’t even had a new gf since not even for a week and I can’t imagine it, it’s like something is stopping me now and I’ve tried hitting on women, I am very forward, I have guts, I take chances with some of the most beautiful people I’ve seen yet they don’t seem to react back how I would like, I wonder if it’s the universe impeding me or just them not being interested. But yeah she wasn’t nice, at the end anyways and when she was nice, she was my whole world and I miss her.
@@vrudantshivankar7457 relationship always looks good from the outside but you never know what's exactly happening on the inside of the relationships people can fake happiness
Look, if your ex is going on a rebound, we know 90% of the time, they don't last for more than 6 months, and that's being generous. Focus on you-but not for their sake-for you and you only. Also, if your ex is jumping into another relationship in a couple of days to a few weeks, after you were with them for 6 months or more....they're unhealthy people and I'll strongly wager they have either untreated Borderline or Narcissistic personality disorder. In which case....*clears throat* *RUN AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK*
He got with her a day before telling me she existed and he had met her when he was baker acted. This sounds doomed. Rushing with some chick as if it’s escaping his feelings
Staying friends with an ex after they have moved on with someone else will only keep you in a friend zone and will lower your value. They will USE you emotionally and sometimes physically while enjoying their new relationship. You're nothing but an ego boost for them. They can move on and still have the perks of dealing with you when it's convenient for them.
Hi SweetFace, Being placed in a friendzone only happens if we allow yourself to be in that position and if we don't set healthy boundaries. No one will be used unless we allow the other person to use us.
@@ClayAndrews I couldn't dare see myself allowing someone I love and had a relationship with leave me and carry on a relationship with someone else... rebound or not...then put me in the friendzone ontop of that. Heck no, blasphemy! It comes off as desperate and weak. Like I said it lowers your value sticking around. They'll see you as weak with low esteem. It's hard but go full no contact. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
This is unequivocally false. My ex maintaining a close friendship with me after I got with someone else (and that relationship failing) gave me clarity about what kind of woman she is. She loved me when I didn't even deserve it.
That's right. You are smart but I can't waste my time improving myself for my ex while he remains the same. I have to improve myself for the upgrade I will be meeting soon. How will I improve myself? Sort myself out financially and otherwise, classes at Colombia, workout, read a book per week, get closer to God, develop greater inner strength, work on maintaining calm as a means of self discipline and personal strength, work on increasing my self confidence, practice my fluency in the other 2 languages I speak, colour my hair, get new hairstyles, dress well and look hot everyday. Overall I am just doing the success as revenge thing.
Break-ups are hard for anybody, but it’s particularly tough when it’s being documented and you see the person’s picture everywhere. Most people don’t have that added problem when they break up with someone.Visit *MyExLove. info* If you want to get back your ex back
Everybody he is correct on being friends BUT, after you do no contact for an extended period of time so that they value you more and forgot more of the negative being friends is good you need to build positive rapport no matter what be nice to her always treat her good if her new man treats her like shit then she will notice your nicer to her as a friend and revisit you since she sees he hasn't changed and think your a better choice which if her new man or ex treats her bad it's only a matter of time until she's done with his shit so guys stay positive it's all gonna be good just chill out and do some fun shit
You are awesome sir. Hey guys, I know some of you think it is stupid to get back with your ex. However, remember women are emotionally weak and they fall into another relationship easily, especially if you hurt them. If you truly love them deeply you will desire to have them back. If you don't really love them you will have no tolerance and don't care to have them back. This teaching is for people who really love their ex.
I love my ex and kids so much since the day we started seriously. I messed up 3 times. The time before last, we lived apart for a year and still got on well. Then I moved back after a year but due to self esteem in work I ended up soothing myself the wrong way with beer behind her back then got involved smoking weed through the job I had at the time that made me feel bad and low, the job that is which is why I did things to numb my mind. All behind her back but got caught out and kicked out since November 22. When it happened I gave up work for a year after a breakdown and begged and pleaded for most of it. Since then, I have a great job and one that would suit not only me but the family dynamic. I work nights with ample time off and she is also a nurse with similar shift make up of days and nights. I don’t drink anymore and would absolutely never touch weed again because I’m so happy with my job. I just wish I knew a way to fix how I behaved and get rid of the other guy to be with my family for a faultless future on my part and a happy one I know it could be but wish I knew a guaranteed way to change her mind as we still communicate because of the kids. Any sound advice would be very much appreciated
Clay I just have to say your advice works! My ex is already fed up with his rebound only after a few months. He's actually been confiding in me about his issues with her.
Sad thing is i have to keep watching this video everyday to keep myself in check, but i believe she's hiding this relationship from the family and she seemed to have met him and not known him at all. Get this we were just texting a few sentences when shes at her bfs house and i was not bothered and asked to catch up with her but obviously she couldn't lol. Earlier she stopped by to pick up money i owed her and she wanted to hug me but i was sweaty from the gym, we were smiley and before she left she looked down and up on me lol Thank you Clay😊, i am keeping my confidence and attraction towards her
My ex and i were together for more than ten years. We have two children together. He is now living in another country with our kids but eventually our relationship ended. He is with another woman now. We didnt talk for a year. But now we talking again. He is still involve but now he is saying i am his and he plan to visit me soon. I asked him about his woman. He said i should make myself happy and date. But then after he told me that he later said i must let no man touch me. He said he still loves me but he has someone. We talk about the past and what we could have done differently. He said he have somethings to think about. I am not putting my life on hold for him when i am not sure what is taking place. I leave it up to time. Time will reveal what he is up to.
Hi Danice, We understand that breakups can truly be painful and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. We hope that you are holding on well. There is nothing wrong grieving from the breakup. Feeling this type of emotions would truly give more space for positive emotions to come in. But you have to work on the healing process and let go of the old relationship. In that way, if you decided to go back with him, both of you are starting off from a clean slate. All the best.
Say No to being friends with your ex because being friends with them will allow them to have the best of both worlds. She has her new boyfriend, and her ex boyfriend s her friend. Now she won’t be able to miss you because your still around. Don’t do friends .
While I agree with so much of what you're saying, especially towards growing and and evolving into a better version of yourself, I have to completely disagree with your opinion of the friend zone. My ex definitely has ex's in her past that are truly nothing more than friends as well as myself, having a woman i was together with for 10 years, we've both moved on and are absolutely nothing more to each other than friends. Not overly close ones, but ones at any rate with no lingering romantic feelings. Sliding an ex into the friend zone can be a way one person removes or lessens the burden of guilt on themselves over bad things they've done in a relationship they cannot overtly take responsibility for.
I believe if your still in love with someone their wouldnt even be a rebound. Rebounds are just an ego booster when the supply is low. Love last forever if its love! True 💘 love you will no cause no matter what damage they caused you or how badly bruised you are from their decisions u still feel that unconditional desire of the love you have for them. The feeling of a piece of you is gone. So if i love that person their is no doubt that will ever stop. Nor would there be a rebound for ego. But i will continue to move the hell along in silence. My life doesnt stop because someone is unsure of theirs!!
You are complaining about the "friend zone" but this would come after no contact. After you have worked on yourself, and then it's even if you still want to.
People be real. Breakups hurt people. Parting and fighting sucks for everyone. You cannot come out of it better than the old you without bs'ing yourself.
I heavily disagree with that statement . I speak from experience because I grew from the breakup . Yes it fucking hurts and it's very difficult to process , but over time you realize that you can actually have time to focus on yourself and build yourself to become so fucking amazing. Again I speak from experience.
Hey Brad. So my wife & I started having issues when an old friend of hers came back in to the picture 6 years ago... she'd always run to him for advice & I feel he preyed on my marriage because now we're seperated with 2 kids & she's apparently talking/dating him. I have been caught talking to other women through text out of retaliation because of him, but iv never physically cheated on her. She won't tell me it's over so I know something is still there. She's convinced he just wanted to help all these years. He in fact caused alot of damage. I'm prepared to move forward if I have to but I'm so lost right now. Please advise me on what I can do fix this relationship. I still love her. I don't know where to go from here...
I've been doing what they said and I think it's wrong lol. You should as soon as you can after the break up tell them you want them back or apologize if you messed up but after that you should leave and stay no contact until they try to come back
Hi Patrick, There is nothing wrong following something that will work for you. In this process there is no right or wrong.. what is important is that we have made an authentic change for our self, evaluated our personal values and assess the qualities that we wanted to have in a healthy and deserving relationship. :-) All the best.
Whether everyone sees it or not- this advice is spot on. However- it is spot on if you want exactly what he’s speaking of!! If you want to move on, if you deem moving on is best for you, then watch a different video on how to maintain no contact, etc.... and follow that path instead!
Stay in the friend zone!? Lmfao your crazy. You will become her emotional tampon! Walk away!! Be an Alpha and move on. "If" she has any feelings for you, she will contact you. Your absence is the key. If she never contacts you, it's not your Loss!
@@smurfvolvo If you try to stay friends with an ex who you were romantically involved with, you wont be genuine. Those feelings will still be there and you will continue to suffer. Why would you want your ex to complain or praise about the person they're currently with to you? Stay a mystery to them. Itll make them wonder about you.
@@justinadams3651 you didn't understand what I meant, if you stay "friends" with an ex, It's to get her back. And in order to accomplish that, you can't act like a friend even if that is what you call it.
Julz 5oh the term “alpha” is for insecure incels. And there is no such thing as the friendzone if you’ve ever been romantically involved with them in ANY way. Those past experiences will ALWAYS be in the back of their minds whether they want them there or not. The word “friends” is just a meaningless label when it comes to your ex or someone you’ve already dated. The problem with you is you simply don’t have the patience to re seduce them. So why are you here then?? This is for people who actually WANT their ex back. No matter what it takes. And you’re not becoming anyone’s emotional tampon if it’s literally both ways. Just ask them not to talk about it if they’re seeing anyone. YEAH, it’s THAT easy.
I'm genuinely friends with my ex's from years ago. It took awhile, but they're just my good friends I have no urges to get back with. It has been years though.
You my friend are the absolute best! My ex is literally doing and saying the things you are saying and I never know how to act. I literally just had a talk with her just about how life is going and she straight up said "I can't get to close to you cause I know I'll fall back in love with you". So I'll just contuine to be her friend and stay flirty with her to win her back. Thank you so much!
So my ex and I live together and recently,I talked her into giving me a goodnight hug. She did without hesitation. As she stood up,I held her face gently and said "Im here if you need me". As she was looking at me,her eyes were going up and down. I could tell she was looking at my lips. Later on,I asked her about it. I said "were you thinking I was going to kiss you?". She said yes. I asked why. She said "it's because you normally do when you hold my face" or something like that. Anyway,as said,she was looking up and down from my eyes to my lips. It was like she was expecting me to and wanted me to but was surprised that I didn't.
Hey Clay, amazing video you have and it does help and makes sense, however, my ex just refuses to talk to me. She still acts cold to me even though she still lets me be in contact with her. I try to be more friendly and focusing on the connection, yet she isn't doing anything on her end. What should I do?
My ex broke up with me month ago ,we were close for 3 years ,but last 2 years he friend zoned me ,it was confusing ...but now he,s ghosted me ,iv done nothing wrong ,think he has met or planned to meet someone else ,but if he saw me as a "best friend" as he did..then why would he ghost ignore me?..just goes to show he never realy saw me as "friend " material as he would quiz ,question me ,accuse me of seeing other guys ,which I was not coz I want him..so confusing ..I'm hurting ..we even used to watch "friends" tv comedy ahhh!!!! Lol am putting brave laugh on ,am hurting ,angry ,confused ,miss him...Clay you have made me see things in a different light ,thank you ,just confused my my ex
Carbon Instinct I’ve already lost weight. I’ve glowed up. She’s not even taking care of her body, and i don’t even know what she sees in her but me not talking to him will let him feel it out & realize it’s not gonna work.
Hi. You stressed that composure will not work in any of the three first stages. Is there a risk to using composure before the crisis point? When you say composure can’t be used, are you meaning that reassuring the ex that you will be there and follow through is bad before crisis point? (Being “composer” all along the way seems like a good way of handling things to me.)
I don't agree with this. Accepting friendship lowers your value and doesn't give them an opportunity to miss you. But, more than that, it doesn't let YOU move on and it really sucks for your mental health.
This is so much bs. You need to walk away. If your friends with your ex and she calls you and your alway there for her, then your value gos down. She can have you when ever he/she can. You need to have self respect and walk away until they tell you they want you back. She will feel as she has a connection with you and will miss you while she's comparing you with the knew guy. Be an alpha male or female. And walk away. She dump you so why be there for him or her. Move on. Your being weak by doing that.
I agree with you bro. and it's the weakest of people that try to actively get an ex back. It's called a BREAK UP, which many people thinks that means, ''check back with them at a later time to see if they wanna try again''. We have to accept that a person no longer is naturally attached and attracted to us.
The issue with that is that you consider all break-ups, and thus all relationships the same. My ex and I broke up quite suddenly in a way that doesn't make sense. I am respecting his need and wishes, but I know that our story isn't over yet. The breakup was incredibly painful, yet very necessary for me to learn a few things, make a few changes and do some exploring of my own. I have every intention of trying things again with him a little down the road- if he doesn't want to, then I'll accept it- but each situation is unique and different.
I'm the dumper. Because it was really complicated. But I wasn't ready to let her go. I still loved her and wanted to work things out. But after 4 months of begging and pleading, she kept on brutalizing me with rejection. So I decided to do the no contact rule. She blocked me on Facebook during the no contact period. I keep telling myself, "She's long gone, it's over." I need to find someone new. Therefore, I'm ready to find a new and better person!
Learn your lesson, Don't play with people's feelings. My ex dumped me and now he wants me back. I guess his rebound wasn't as good as he was pretending on Facebook. Karma don't sleep.
I'm sorry but I do think if you focus on you and do more things you like to do you will heal. It sounds like she's not very nice and has not healed. But remember that being a better YOU is what's most important 😉 Good Luck
Interesting you have a significantly different approach to other relationship advisors like Brad Browning. Brad says that you absolutely should not stay in frequent contact or be a friend to your ex when they have broken up or on a rebound, otherwise you become a safety net for them. His reasoning is that if they have chosen to not be with you, or to be with someone else, they need to feel the full consequences of not having you in their life anymore. They won't miss you enough to want you back if you're always still there in their life.
Hi James, Since you have a child with your ex, you should do Limited No Active Contact. We talk about this inside the Tricky Situations of our program because as a parent, you must absolutely have your child's well being as a top priority and communication with your ex is crucial. Just try to keep your contact with your ex solely based on the child for now.
My ex has been seeing a guy she was mates with before she broke up with me. She left me and within a week jumped to him but it’s been 2 and a bit months and they haven’t labelled anything yet but act like a couple. She has started to reach out to me about her dad passing away and comes to me for emotional support as she says she doesn’t know who she has and knows me and her understand eachother. We were together for 3 and a half years, and we talk everyday but she’s very scared to say her actual feelings coz she made it clear she misses me but won’t admit her real feelings.
Thank you for giving me the reassurance I needed. I followed all your steps including the crisis point. Now it's just a matter of her actually breaking up with him. I know it's going to take a little time but she knows her heart is with me in fact she started calling him a hurdle. It's only a matter of time I just hope she doesn't dig herself a bigger hole waiting for a good time to do it. Like Jerry Seinfeld says, breaking up is like knocking down a Coke machine you've got to Rock It a few times before you can actually bring it down.
You are very much welcome, Michael. This process may not be easy but once you have worked on your Advanced Relational Skills, it would be easier for you to navigate this process. :-)
This works cause I was once the rebound, and my bf’s exwife played being “friends” with my bf. And it worked. He started self sabotaging our new relationship and non stop thinking about her. To the point where he would see her on Valentine’s Day and not me. So I left lol.
My ex fiance of 7 years got with someone else 2 weeks after splitting up with me. (The reason for the split was me betraying his trust) and I'm heartbroken :( I want to get him back but him being with someone else is just gutting. He even admitted he's just trying to fill a void and that he misses me, yet he's still with her (it's only been 2 weeks) I'm torn between keeping in contact and being 'friends' to wanting to cut all contact for a while to make him understand what he wants. What's the best way forward?
How would you recommend with starting a friendship? We were together for 12 years we also have one child and I am currently pregnant with our second child. Where could I start as far as a friendship?
Hi @Rachel Beehn, you can start building a friendship with your ex once you have fully healed from the past pain for the breakup and have detached to any form of outcome or expectations. :-)
Okay, I have a few questions... my ex after a little over a month after the break up texted me asking to work things out and I have a bit of anger issues but I’ve been trying to work on them and we were friends and willing to save each other for each other till we were both 18 and able to be together again and he kept saying he loved me and all of a sudden he has a new gf and I sort of lashed out a bit and I feel bad that I did it but then he said I was abusing him when I never verbally or physically abused him. What do i do????
Indifference is the way. Act indifferent towards him. Act like he is a chair a table lol nothing that matters or care for. Not mad, not sad, not happier. Just dont even care. Not to be mean, you just dont think about a chair.
I am in no contact with my ex. She is in a rebound. Mails still come to my address for her. Should I text them to her on Watts app, like I've been doing, or should I give then to a mutual friend to give to her. I have been thinking that forwarding mails to her by Watts app is me initiating contact...which I shouldn't be doing in no contact. All she ever says is thanks. Any ideas would be welcome.
What if i broke up with her? She got in a rebound after i got into one. I broke up with mines to become friends with her, i want my ex back, and we met up to patch things up, she decided to be friends, we talk everyday and replies to my text instantly, sometimes if i take some time to reply she'll still reply instantly. I usually start off the conversations but one day i decided to see if she'll text me 1st and that shes not just being nice, and it wokred next day she texted me 1st at around 2pm. I thought she would hate me after the break up for cause of thr things i said, but after the meet up she started being more talkative. Is this a good sign?
ok say your in a ltr and know this guy for 20 yrs. I was with him for 5, we broke up and he went into rebound. We got back together but rebound was still texting and sending pics causing MEGA fights. We broke up and he went back to her, when a couple gets back together how do you get rid of rebound in a healthy way?
My ex is on a rebound relationship and we have a child together, i really dont want this new guy around my daughter im trying to block him i never met him and i really want her back. At least we talk and she has agreed to meet up at her job but i couldn't make it so now this week im picking my child up this week and she has agreed to meet up somewhere else besides her house i just want to know how to approach her and not say anything stupid and f ed up?
Hi Luis, We understand how hard this must be for you. Learn to be aware of your thoughts and emotions. Be mindful of what you feel so you can communicate things effectively during the meetup. Be sure to learn and practice the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach so you can apply them effectively during your interactions. All the best.
Sulffix Studios Is this from a place of seeing your ex potentially beibg unhappy and you want to help them, or a place of spite? Do the right thing, and if it's the latter, do nothing, the former, tread carefully, but maybe express your concerns if you care about them whether you get them back or not.
What if i took the breakup too hard and she couldn't handle my emotions. I pushed too hard and pushed her to block me on everything except for one form of contact. my anxiety is high and all i want to do is talk to her but talking to her just drives her away.
You just have to stay strong and try and move on. It's easier said than done but you gotta make up your mind and move on. This only confirms that the relationship is over and she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. It's a tough pill to swallow but you'll be fine. It's going to be hard while in the process of moving on but trust me it'll be worth it when you finally do. Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself you're going to go 15 mins without trying to message her, then try going thirty minutes, then try going a day. Before you know it, you would have gone a week without messaging her, then a month and before you know it a year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When your ex realizes it's been a while without talking to you, she'll want to message you but by then, you would have moved one. Good luck.
Hi Anim4l , Attempting to talk to your ex while being in Damage Control Mode may push his wall of reactance further. It is best that you give yourself the time to work on your anxiety, heal and hone the Advanced Relational Skills. Once you feel 100% ready to initiate contact with him, that is when you can try to gauge his readiness when it comes to communicating with you. All the best.
Hey clay! My ex and I broke up in January. After that she initiated conversations via text messages almost daily. She wanted to see me but I didn’t . In July she met someone and in August I noticed that she took distance from me and stopped initiating conversations. In September this new guy posted her in her Facebook a message, one week later she posted a picture with him. I asked her about this guy and she said they were daiting. She showed herself happy and she said she already let me go. I know she didn’t get over me because all the behaviors she had with my through this year (I.e: in July she sent me a picture of us). We have never cut the relationship for real. I started the get over process the day I notice this other guy. Is this a rebound relationship? My ex girlfriend has lots of issues with her dad and her family as well. She doesn’t know how to be alone. Thank you!
Hi Federico, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and regarding your question, it may be a rebound relationship but it may also be coming from a place of deeper concern. Just like what you said, your ex has concerns with her family and doesn't know how to be alone. It may seem like being in a relationship is her way to feel emotionally secure. All the best.
Coach Clay Buhahaha, love it. Also gave some levity to my sadness. My ex broke up with with me suddenly, pushing me out of the way so he could commit as quickly to his coworker. I was blindsided. He was very cruel toward me. Two things: I don't want him back , the cruelty was shocking and I was a mess. The second, how do I see the red flags of a serial commit fast unavailable man? I am still grieving so it will be awhile. Thank you. Oh, I actually do wish my ex well btw.
Hi Rachel, I'm sorry to hear about what happened and we hope that you are holding on well. Doing a 5 x 5 list is the best way to know if you are getting into a healthy relationship. Aside from that, by dating and getting to know the person, you would eventually know more about his personal values and intent. So it is best not to fall into the trap of feeling too fast and feeling too much. :-) All the best.
This is ingenious! May be the most I've ever gotten out of a fifteen minute video! Btw, I am both the ex and the new girlfriend currently dealing with his ex trying to sabotage us. Won't happen, we have always loved one another, but bc of his being a Green Beret for years overseas, circumstances kept us apart. We NEVER stopped talking on the phone, skyping, emailing, and back in the day sending letters through the mail. We have always had a "soul connection". She has been cyberstalking me and trying to manipulate us. She made a dummy Facebook account where she posted a photo of them from years ago as her profile photo! Anyway, I'm just sitting back, letting her drive him further away with her crazy. Good to know I've been doing everything right:)
What if you talk to you ex every single day and she tells you that she cannot be in a room with you without wanting sex. That she still loves you and wants to be together but she's afraid of repeating past mistakes in the relationship so she stays with her rebound who she "kinda cares for."
My situation is so messed up. I think my ex is with someone else (he's never told me, but i have my suspicions), but since we broke up (year and a half ago), we never stopped messing around. It's not all the time but at least a couple times a month. And we text or FaceTime. We can't stop ourselves, obviously. What should I do?
The bad thing about you two messing around is that it would confuse the both of you if it's actually lust or the person that you want. You're in a tough situation but the first advice i can give you is to set boundaries with him.
It's very clear what you need to do. You need to stop being used. But don't say it and then change your mind under pressure. You need to go out and have fun on dates and start being distant but friendly and ever more distant to him. Let him freak out about actually losing you, let him worry that you've finally realized that you are better than he is treating you.
What about when your seperated wife allows a guy she met a month ago to move in with her and your kids?It is to my advantage because we always have a connection because of the children.Though I feel she is trying to replace me with this new guy,she hasn't told the kids "this is your new dad" ,but I could see her trying that.
I can’t be friends with him when he’s with her. I want to but I can’t. I told him I’d love to be friends with him when he’s not with her. It’s not because I’m jealous of her (yes I don’t like her because she is a home wrecker) BUT it’s because she’s a horrible person. Does no contact work though if you can’t be friends with them while they are with the person they are with. Will they come back if they still love you and want you to be in their life still.
Edit: literally a month later so much has changed. we’re friends now and he professed his feelings to me and he’s still with her but wow. i can see us getting back together in the future.
we went through the crisis point, he made so many excuses and even told me that he tried to break up with new girlfriend to get back with me but the new girlfriend did not agreed. so he ended up continuing their relationship and i ended up being heart broken again. we talked so many times through messages and phone calls and he told me he still loves me but he is already in love with the new girlfriend. we met once and we ended having intimate physical contact. i don’t know what i have done for him not to get back with me.
I'm sorry to hear about that. The crisis Point can truly be a sensitive phase and even confusing for a person. Let your ex weigh his decision but don't let his actions turn your world fall apart. You have to be emotionally independent regardless of your ex's decision.
Staying friends wouldn't kinda help wean them off of you though? Or show that they will still have you as a back up option if the rebound/monkey branching person doesn't work?
Im in no contact for my 3rd week with the exception of her wishing me a happy bday 2 days ago first thing in the morning (when shes normally sleeping) and she liked a photo on my IG.. She left me so that she ciuld spend time with a co worker whos "just a friend" but sleep together. She said theyre just good friends and shes not interested however she spends all her time with him. She definitely likes him but it may not be mutual. Her and I are not in bad terms. She wants to be friends while on her "break" but cant stand to see me hurting. Will this still work??
Thanks for your support clay these tactics really work shes been gone two weeks and is already spamming and so on after a bad argument two phone calls left and its done
I wouldn't recommend doing that. Instead, why not focus on having such a strong connection with your ex that he loses interest in dating anyone other than you?
I broke up with my ex but she doesn't get any effect of the breakup and after some argueing issues she started to talk other guys but when she was with me I said that if she's in love with me then no chit chat with other guys is not allowed and now.she reply other guys text talk to other guys and I guess also like someone so what can I do please tell me
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I destroyed my ex’s rebound, but now I have to go to prison for the next 24 years. Thanks a lot Clay.
Are you serious ??? Lol
Did you murder her/him? LOL
Whaaaaa? Omg 😳 what did u do ? Lmaooo
Everybody wants to know what did you do?
Haha Haha
Awesome
I believe the ex’s rebound is just them anaesthetising the pain of breaking up with you, they’ll get bored eventually.
Doesn't mean they'll want the ex back. Sometimes they'll fall in love with someone else (person after the rebound) and move on completely.
SweetFace this is rare..
My ex, for instance.. had a rebound and then they broke up. It takes a while to get over a meaningful relationship.
Shortly after the rebound, he sent messages of how he’d love if we got back together. Which I told him I’m with someone else.
@@TeenK7 It happens very often! He's probably not in love with you or want you back. You're just familiar to him and he's lonely. You could be the rebound after the rebound 👀
SweetFace whichever the case is, the ex is still wanting you back.
That’s not just the one instance.
Like I said, it takes a while to get over a meaningful relationship.
Your ex is not going to move on quickly. 🤷🏼♀️
They are most likely just physically attracted but here are two thoughts - 1. A relationship won’t last based off of physical attraction, they will soon get to know them 2. They probably aren’t actually that attractive. Also, while your ex is off with their new gf/bf, you know that they will be comparing you to them and thinking about all of your memories so dont worry, the nostalgia and them missing you will kick in
Act like you don't care post photos of you having the best time of your life on social media. Remember the things that made them obsessed with you at the start. Exceed them. Anyone can get an ex back. You just have to be an improved version of you. That old you is gone. Youre even better than how you were when you were first together. They'll look at that then their current girlfriend and it'll make them wonder why they left you. They'll always want the best and you ARE the best. 🙂
lovelyxskinny I appreciate this comment
Or current “guy/rebound” which mine left before quarantine, cheated on me and went to move in with her “new Daddy” to boss up and be chillin (havin fun) but she said “I found someone I actually vibe with and haven’t felt so stressed out for the past 3 days with” and she gave up on me yet I took her one wonderful dates, two for one deals on Sushi, couple stuff, good stuff, got her a Swarovski bracelet to show her what she meant to me on V day and sung for her and she became abusive and bit me, she then on the last week we were together asked me “baby can you please get me these clothes” and I said no to her because I noticed she wanted me to get her more shit than usual but being nice I did so and we planned to go eat and it resulted in an argument because she yelled at a passing motorist and a car pulled up next to us and the three of us ended up at the light and the car next to us had some ghetto hood ass mfs and the guy was like “you gonna get your boyfriend ass beat damn” and I told her to shut up n quit talking to random people and she said “I don’t give a fuck” and that ticked me off like first why is she starting shit and then saying she doesn’t care?
It could have been avoided but she went off and then we fought about it as they drove off, it left US FIGHTING, she then slammed my door and everything fell apart the next day... then the following week she cheated and said it “IS your fault I left but not your fault I choose to do whatever I want and you HAVE NO CONTROL” word for word...
But when I ignored her at times she would be dying for me to pay attention, I don’t play games but at the end felt like that’s all I was doing because I truly tried investing in our relationship.
Now I’m in this quarantine, definitely getting back to myself, posting, recording, I am blocked on everything however, if she came back I’d shit myself but wouldn’t hold my breath.
I'm doing this now and it seems like the rebound guy has some insecurities like tagging her in memes on his wall and posted a picture of them together in his tow truck tagged her in it on his wall and liking all her post on her wall i hope things work out for them
@@GabrielXDrums It doesn't seem as if she was too nice to you though. I'm sorry.
Lee Steal no she wasn’t and I still miss her about 8 months later. Just talked to my friend about her last night and I haven’t even had a new gf since not even for a week and I can’t imagine it, it’s like something is stopping me now and I’ve tried hitting on women, I am very forward, I have guts, I take chances with some of the most beautiful people I’ve seen yet they don’t seem to react back how I would like, I wonder if it’s the universe impeding me or just them not being interested.
But yeah she wasn’t nice, at the end anyways and when she was nice, she was my whole world and I miss her.
If you want your ex back forget about them stay away back off don't stalk them move on date someone else then they well comeback chasing you
Vladimir alucard that happens a lot !!
China Doll oh hello c:
Vladimir alucard but she is with someone else and seems happy. What should i do???
That's a nice story, but I've seen too many situations where that is not what happened at all.
@@vrudantshivankar7457 relationship always looks good from the outside but you never know what's exactly happening on the inside of the relationships people can fake happiness
Look, if your ex is going on a rebound, we know 90% of the time, they don't last for more than 6 months, and that's being generous. Focus on you-but not for their sake-for you and you only.
Also, if your ex is jumping into another relationship in a couple of days to a few weeks, after you were with them for 6 months or more....they're unhealthy people and I'll strongly wager they have either untreated Borderline or Narcissistic personality disorder. In which case....*clears throat* *RUN AND DON'T EVER LOOK BACK*
As someone with Borderline personality disorder.. that last bit is kind of insulting haha
My ex was with me for 6.5 years and jumped to a new guy and bought a house with him 4 months after our break-up. Any thoughts on this?
Visaoradi 2212 man thats crazy.. stay stong
@@Thang4321 Ain't worth it. It won't last as well
He got with her a day before telling me she existed and he had met her when he was baker acted. This sounds doomed. Rushing with some chick as if it’s escaping his feelings
Staying friends with an ex after they have moved on with someone else will only keep you in a friend zone and will lower your value. They will USE you emotionally and sometimes physically while enjoying their new relationship. You're nothing but an ego boost for them. They can move on and still have the perks of dealing with you when it's convenient for them.
Hi SweetFace, Being placed in a friendzone only happens if we allow yourself to be in that position and if we don't set healthy boundaries. No one will be used unless we allow the other person to use us.
@@ClayAndrews I couldn't dare see myself allowing someone I love and had a relationship with leave me and carry on a relationship with someone else... rebound or not...then put me in the friendzone ontop of that. Heck no, blasphemy! It comes off as desperate and weak. Like I said it lowers your value sticking around. They'll see you as weak with low esteem. It's hard but go full no contact. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
@@peartreat if you don’t dare, you must not really want to get them back brah
This is unequivocally false. My ex maintaining a close friendship with me after I got with someone else (and that relationship failing) gave me clarity about what kind of woman she is. She loved me when I didn't even deserve it.
💯💯💯💯 percent!! If you dont want all of me you get nothing of me.
This is why it’s so important to work on yourself so that you can be genuinely better and not faking it when they come back
That's right. You are smart but I can't waste my time improving myself for my ex while he remains the same. I have to improve myself for the upgrade I will be meeting soon. How will I improve myself? Sort myself out financially and otherwise, classes at Colombia, workout, read a book per week, get closer to
God, develop greater inner strength, work on maintaining calm as a means of self discipline and personal strength, work on increasing my self confidence, practice my fluency in the other 2 languages I speak, colour my hair, get new hairstyles, dress well and look hot everyday. Overall I am just doing the success as revenge thing.
Let her go and focus on yourself.
I'm too psyco to be that patient
Break-ups are hard for anybody, but it’s particularly tough when it’s being documented and you see the person’s picture everywhere. Most people don’t have that added problem when they break up with someone.Visit *MyExLove. info* If you want to get back your ex back
Same lol
Your are fucking hot for a psyco xd
😂 I know I’ve had my moments
Same girl
If rebounds aren’t supposed to last then why bother? why not wait for it to end and focus on that?
i wouldnt want her back because she will just do it again,,pick someone better who knows what they want and wont play stupid highschool games
Sometimes people change. Sometimes it's the same old, same old. Only get back together if you know that things are going to be different.
True... If she left you once definitely she will leave you again... Gone is gone... Even I'm in the same situation... 😢
When this video pop up, I laughed so hard. The title was so mean. But I like it🤣🤣🤣
It's fkn great
it is mean lol, because he's not taking into account the rebound feelings.
Me too dear🤣🤣
Everybody he is correct on being friends BUT, after you do no contact for an extended period of time so that they value you more and forgot more of the negative being friends is good you need to build positive rapport no matter what be nice to her always treat her good if her new man treats her like shit then she will notice your nicer to her as a friend and revisit you since she sees he hasn't changed and think your a better choice which if her new man or ex treats her bad it's only a matter of time until she's done with his shit so guys stay positive it's all gonna be good just chill out and do some fun shit
BOTF LEGIT that's some good advice
I don't agree. If you want your ex back then walk away and never look back.
You are awesome sir. Hey guys, I know some of you think it is stupid to get back with your ex. However, remember women are emotionally weak and they fall into another relationship easily, especially if you hurt them. If you truly love them deeply you will desire to have them back. If you don't really love them you will have no tolerance and don't care to have them back. This teaching is for people who really love their ex.
I love my ex and kids so much since the day we started seriously.
I messed up 3 times.
The time before last, we lived apart for a year and still got on well.
Then I moved back after a year but due to self esteem in work I ended up soothing myself the wrong way with beer behind her back then got involved smoking weed through the job I had at the time that made me feel bad and low, the job that is which is why I did things to numb my mind.
All behind her back but got caught out and kicked out since November 22.
When it happened I gave up work for a year after a breakdown and begged and pleaded for most of it.
Since then, I have a great job and one that would suit not only me but the family dynamic.
I work nights with ample time off and she is also a nurse with similar shift make up of days and nights.
I don’t drink anymore and would absolutely never touch weed again because I’m so happy with my job.
I just wish I knew a way to fix how I behaved and get rid of the other guy to be with my family for a faultless future on my part and a happy one
I know it could be but wish I knew a guaranteed way to change her mind as we still communicate because of the kids.
Any sound advice would be very much appreciated
Clay I just have to say your advice works! My ex is already fed up with his rebound only after a few months. He's actually been confiding in me about his issues with her.
That great to hear, Meagan. :-) Happy to hear that our advice had a positive effect on your journey.
This video has made me feel so at peace. Your channel actually. It’s been an agonizing month but this is the first time I feel okay. Thank you!
Sad thing is i have to keep watching this video everyday to keep myself in check, but i believe she's hiding this relationship from the family and she seemed to have met him and not known him at all. Get this we were just texting a few sentences when shes at her bfs house and i was not bothered and asked to catch up with her but obviously she couldn't lol. Earlier she stopped by to pick up money i owed her and she wanted to hug me but i was sweaty from the gym, we were smiley and before she left she looked down and up on me lol Thank you Clay😊, i am keeping my confidence and attraction towards her
Thanks. I'm glad this video helps. Sounds like she is very much still attracted to you if she's looking you up and down.
My ex and i were together for more than ten years. We have two children together. He is now living in another country with our kids but eventually our relationship ended. He is with another woman now. We didnt talk for a year. But now we talking again. He is still involve but now he is saying i am his and he plan to visit me soon. I asked him about his woman. He said i should make myself happy and date. But then after he told me that he later said i must let no man touch me. He said he still loves me but he has someone. We talk about the past and what we could have done differently. He said he have somethings to think about. I am not putting my life on hold for him when i am not sure what is taking place. I leave it up to time. Time will reveal what he is up to.
tamar bernard the is this woman that is gifted with power she help bring back my husband
Man, looking back on things, this advice is SOLID GOLD! Every step. Thanks Clay!
Thank you sir for all the information. I still love my ex boyfriend and Im crying right now hearing all this info I really want him back.
Hi Danice, We understand that breakups can truly be painful and I'm sorry that you have to go through this. We hope that you are holding on well. There is nothing wrong grieving from the breakup. Feeling this type of emotions would truly give more space for positive emotions to come in. But you have to work on the healing process and let go of the old relationship. In that way, if you decided to go back with him, both of you are starting off from a clean slate.
All the best.
Why would you want to get back with someone who left you and went for new shiny things?! The best is yet to come, just leave them for good 👍🏼
Say No to being friends with your ex because being friends with them will allow them to have the best of both worlds. She has her new boyfriend, and her ex boyfriend s her friend. Now she won’t be able to miss you because your still around. Don’t do friends .
@GhostofKennyRogers wow your story just like mine , any updates?
Yes obsoletely. He will not regret about what he did , and will substitute wether he wanna be w ex or new gf when he feel lack of love he need
While I agree with so much of what you're saying, especially towards growing and and evolving into a better version of yourself, I have to completely disagree with your opinion of the friend zone. My ex definitely has ex's in her past that are truly nothing more than friends as well as myself, having a woman i was together with for 10 years, we've both moved on and are absolutely nothing more to each other than friends. Not overly close ones, but ones at any rate with no lingering romantic feelings. Sliding an ex into the friend zone can be a way one person removes or lessens the burden of guilt on themselves over bad things they've done in a relationship they cannot overtly take responsibility for.
I believe if your still in love with someone their wouldnt even be a rebound. Rebounds are just an ego booster when the supply is low. Love last forever if its love! True 💘 love you will no cause no matter what damage they caused you or how badly bruised you are from their decisions u still feel that unconditional desire of the love you have for them. The feeling of a piece of you is gone. So if i love that person their is no doubt that will ever stop. Nor would there be a rebound for ego. But i will continue to move the hell along in silence. My life doesnt stop because someone is unsure of theirs!!
Well said.
Its been 3 months she left me in a week. Ive been trying so hard to get her back. My love for her was true
Some of us are the rebound and didn’t realise, and already feel pretty destroyed thanks
Friends zone.., don’t think so.
Like he says, the 'friend zone' doesn't actually exist between you and a recent ex partner. So no need to worry about being in it.
You are complaining about the "friend zone" but this would come after no contact. After you have worked on yourself, and then it's even if you still want to.
To be fair once you’re a better you you won’t even want your ex back
That might happen as well. Because we have removed our ex from the pedestal and we can discern things better. :-)
People be real. Breakups hurt people. Parting and fighting sucks for everyone. You cannot come out of it better than the old you without bs'ing yourself.
I heavily disagree with that statement . I speak from experience because I grew from the breakup . Yes it fucking hurts and it's very difficult to process , but over time you realize that you can actually have time to focus on yourself and build yourself to become so fucking amazing. Again I speak from experience.
MrTherber2. You DEFINITELY can. It just takes hard inner work and time. Sometimes we have to Fall in order to learn to Fly.
Hey Brad. So my wife & I started having issues when an old friend of hers came back in to the picture 6 years ago... she'd always run to him for advice & I feel he preyed on my marriage because now we're seperated with 2 kids & she's apparently talking/dating him. I have been caught talking to other women through text out of retaliation because of him, but iv never physically cheated on her. She won't tell me it's over so I know something is still there. She's convinced he just wanted to help all these years. He in fact caused alot of damage. I'm prepared to move forward if I have to but I'm so lost right now. Please advise me on what I can do fix this relationship. I still love her. I don't know where to go from here...
I've been doing what they said and I think it's wrong lol. You should as soon as you can after the break up tell them you want them back or apologize if you messed up but after that you should leave and stay no contact until they try to come back
Hi Patrick, There is nothing wrong following something that will work for you. In this process there is no right or wrong.. what is important is that we have made an authentic change for our self, evaluated our personal values and assess the qualities that we wanted to have in a healthy and deserving relationship. :-) All the best.
Whether everyone sees it or not- this advice is spot on. However- it is spot on if you want exactly what he’s speaking of!! If you want to move on, if you deem moving on is best for you, then watch a different video on how to maintain no contact, etc.... and follow that path instead!
Thank you, Pamela.
Stay in the friend zone!? Lmfao your crazy. You will become her emotional tampon! Walk away!! Be an Alpha and move on. "If" she has any feelings for you, she will contact you. Your absence is the key. If she never contacts you, it's not your Loss!
Not if you don't act like a friend...
@@smurfvolvo If you try to stay friends with an ex who you were romantically involved with, you wont be genuine. Those feelings will still be there and you will continue to suffer. Why would you want your ex to complain or praise about the person they're currently with to you? Stay a mystery to them. Itll make them wonder about you.
@@justinadams3651 you didn't understand what I meant, if you stay "friends" with an ex, It's to get her back. And in order to accomplish that, you can't act like a friend even if that is what you call it.
Julz 5oh the term “alpha” is for insecure incels. And there is no such thing as the friendzone if you’ve ever been romantically involved with them in ANY way. Those past experiences will ALWAYS be in the back of their minds whether they want them there or not. The word “friends” is just a meaningless label when it comes to your ex or someone you’ve already dated. The problem with you is you simply don’t have the patience to re seduce them. So why are you here then?? This is for people who actually WANT their ex back. No matter what it takes. And you’re not becoming anyone’s emotional tampon if it’s literally both ways. Just ask them not to talk about it if they’re seeing anyone. YEAH, it’s THAT easy.
I'm genuinely friends with my ex's from years ago. It took awhile, but they're just my good friends I have no urges to get back with. It has been years though.
L F I Agree years later I did the same.
Love the advice. Pretty much just become the best version of yourself.
You my friend are the absolute best! My ex is literally doing and saying the things you are saying and I never know how to act. I literally just had a talk with her just about how life is going and she straight up said "I can't get to close to you cause I know I'll fall back in love with you". So I'll just contuine to be her friend and stay flirty with her to win her back. Thank you so much!
So my ex and I live together and recently,I talked her into giving me a goodnight hug. She did without hesitation. As she stood up,I held her face gently and said "Im here if you need me". As she was looking at me,her eyes were going up and down. I could tell she was looking at my lips. Later on,I asked her about it. I said "were you thinking I was going to kiss you?". She said yes. I asked why. She said "it's because you normally do when you hold my face" or something like that. Anyway,as said,she was looking up and down from my eyes to my lips. It was like she was expecting me to and wanted me to but was surprised that I didn't.
Doesn’t putting yourself in the friend zone contradict the whole no contact approach and value from scarcity?
How can you be friend zoned by someone you already slept with? The atraction is always gonna be there even if they say it isnt
@@renatoarauz7784 you got a point brother
What an amazing video, Clay! I think this is one of my favorites so far. Now I'm gonna go rewatch the 5 stages video.
Glad you enjoyed it! Thank you. :-)
You gotta tighten that up and be better than the old you. Health and fitness is always good for you 😎
Hey Clay, amazing video you have and it does help and makes sense, however, my ex just refuses to talk to me. She still acts cold to me even though she still lets me be in contact with her. I try to be more friendly and focusing on the connection, yet she isn't doing anything on her end. What should I do?
My ex broke up with me month ago ,we were close for 3 years ,but last 2 years he friend zoned me ,it was confusing ...but now he,s ghosted me ,iv done nothing wrong ,think he has met or planned to meet someone else ,but if he saw me as a "best friend" as he did..then why would he ghost ignore me?..just goes to show he never realy saw me as "friend " material as he would quiz ,question me ,accuse me of seeing other guys ,which I was not coz I want him..so confusing ..I'm hurting ..we even used to watch "friends" tv comedy ahhh!!!! Lol am putting brave laugh on ,am hurting ,angry ,confused ,miss him...Clay you have made me see things in a different light ,thank you ,just confused my my ex
This video is seriously sooo helpful!
Thank you so much, Jonah. Glad that you were able to resonate on this particular video. :-)
Screw that. I'll stay petty and get my revenge body muhaha
😄
*it's not petty to get your dream body it's actually really good that you're improving yourself*
Carbon Instinct I’ve already lost weight. I’ve glowed up. She’s not even taking care of her body, and i don’t even know what she sees in her but me not talking to him will let him feel it out & realize it’s not gonna work.
I agree. SELF improvement is the key. People leave you when you are not YOUR best version.
That's exactly what I'm on🌱💚🌱
Hi. You stressed that composure will not work in any of the three first stages. Is there a risk to using composure before the crisis point? When you say composure can’t be used, are you meaning that reassuring the ex that you will be there and follow through is bad before crisis point? (Being “composer” all along the way seems like a good way of handling things to me.)
I don't agree with this. Accepting friendship lowers your value and doesn't give them an opportunity to miss you. But, more than that, it doesn't let YOU move on and it really sucks for your mental health.
clay, how about for a long distance relationship..
Different video.
never take advice from a soyboy
This is so much bs. You need to walk away. If your friends with your ex and she calls you and your alway there for her, then your value gos down. She can have you when ever he/she can. You need to have self respect and walk away until they tell you they want you back. She will feel as she has a connection with you and will miss you while she's comparing you with the knew guy. Be an alpha male or female. And walk away. She dump you so why be there for him or her. Move on. Your being weak by doing that.
Ramond Negron wrong
Ramond Negron you are correct sir, but to keep them back you need to be a better person they first left.
Ramond Negron but the rest of the crap like being friends is stupid. Like you said walk away
I agree with you bro. and it's the weakest of people that try to actively get an ex back. It's called a BREAK UP, which many people thinks that means, ''check back with them at a later time to see if they wanna try again''. We have to accept that a person no longer is naturally attached and attracted to us.
The issue with that is that you consider all break-ups, and thus all relationships the same. My ex and I broke up quite suddenly in a way that doesn't make sense. I am respecting his need and wishes, but I know that our story isn't over yet. The breakup was incredibly painful, yet very necessary for me to learn a few things, make a few changes and do some exploring of my own. I have every intention of trying things again with him a little down the road- if he doesn't want to, then I'll accept it- but each situation is unique and different.
I find it very hard to be ex's friend because he doesn't seem to let me in....
I have maintained no contact with my ex for 2 months now, when do I contact him....if he does not contact me.
How about contacting after 8-9 months.
I want update
I'm the dumper. Because it was really complicated. But I wasn't ready to let her go. I still loved her and wanted to work things out. But after 4 months of begging and pleading, she kept on brutalizing me with rejection. So I decided to do the no contact rule. She blocked me on Facebook during the no contact period. I keep telling myself, "She's long gone, it's over." I need to find someone new. Therefore, I'm ready to find a new and better person!
You are dumper so you deserve what you get and i guess she is better than u
Learn your lesson, Don't play with people's feelings. My ex dumped me and now he wants me back. I guess his rebound wasn't as good as he was pretending on Facebook. Karma don't sleep.
I'm sorry but I do think if you focus on you and do more things you like to do you will heal. It sounds like she's not very nice and has not healed. But remember that being a better YOU is what's most important 😉 Good Luck
I'll simplify this for everyone... Move on from your ex. If they wanted to be with you, they would've never left.
I broke up with him because I wasn't someone I liked.
That's some real truth right there... I think my situation is similar to this right here
It's because there's too many other people out there. None of these games work people
So what exactly is the third thing?
What should be done?
Friends or no contact???
Others are so certain about no contact
Now i’m confused :$
Interesting you have a significantly different approach to other relationship advisors like Brad Browning. Brad says that you absolutely should not stay in frequent contact or be a friend to your ex when they have broken up or on a rebound, otherwise you become a safety net for them. His reasoning is that if they have chosen to not be with you, or to be with someone else, they need to feel the full consequences of not having you in their life anymore. They won't miss you enough to want you back if you're always still there in their life.
I feel like a witch🧟♀️ watching this video
And I love it , haaaahaaaaahaaaaa
Am off to break them up as I am now well equipped on what to do.
What if you have a child with your ex and she's with someone else?
Hi James, Since you have a child with your ex, you should do Limited No Active Contact.
We talk about this inside the Tricky Situations of our program because as a parent, you must absolutely have your child's well being as a top priority and communication with your ex is crucial.
Just try to keep your contact with your ex solely based on the child for now.
Work on you focus on you forgive yourself and your ex lol I don’t like that word “ ex”.😭 but forgive them and let them be happy 💯
My ex has been seeing a guy she was mates with before she broke up with me. She left me and within a week jumped to him but it’s been 2 and a bit months and they haven’t labelled anything yet but act like a couple. She has started to reach out to me about her dad passing away and comes to me for emotional support as she says she doesn’t know who she has and knows me and her understand eachother. We were together for 3 and a half years, and we talk everyday but she’s very scared to say her actual feelings coz she made it clear she misses me but won’t admit her real feelings.
Thank you for giving me the reassurance I needed. I followed all your steps including the crisis point. Now it's just a matter of her actually breaking up with him. I know it's going to take a little time but she knows her heart is with me in fact she started calling him a hurdle. It's only a matter of time I just hope she doesn't dig herself a bigger hole waiting for a good time to do it. Like Jerry Seinfeld says, breaking up is like knocking down a Coke machine you've got to Rock It a few times before you can actually bring it down.
You are very much welcome, Michael. This process may not be easy but once you have worked on your Advanced Relational Skills, it would be easier for you to navigate this process. :-)
What if I broke up back then? Is it still the same? It was 10 years ago...
This works cause I was once the rebound, and my bf’s exwife played being “friends” with my bf. And it worked. He started self sabotaging our new relationship and non stop thinking about her. To the point where he would see her on Valentine’s Day and not me. So I left lol.
My ex fiance of 7 years got with someone else 2 weeks after splitting up with me. (The reason for the split was me betraying his trust) and I'm heartbroken :(
I want to get him back but him being with someone else is just gutting. He even admitted he's just trying to fill a void and that he misses me, yet he's still with her (it's only been 2 weeks)
I'm torn between keeping in contact and being 'friends' to wanting to cut all contact for a while to make him understand what he wants. What's the best way forward?
Everything’s will be ok
Sounds exactly like my situation. I feel you.
How would you recommend with starting a friendship? We were together for 12 years we also have one child and I am currently pregnant with our second child. Where could I start as far as a friendship?
Hi @Rachel Beehn, you can start building a friendship with your ex once you have fully healed from the past pain for the breakup and have detached to any form of outcome or expectations. :-)
Okay, I have a few questions... my ex after a little over a month after the break up texted me asking to work things out and I have a bit of anger issues but I’ve been trying to work on them and we were friends and willing to save each other for each other till we were both 18 and able to be together again and he kept saying he loved me and all of a sudden he has a new gf and I sort of lashed out a bit and I feel bad that I did it but then he said I was abusing him when I never verbally or physically abused him. What do i do????
He's creating a false sense of reality .
Indifference is the way. Act indifferent towards him. Act like he is a chair a table lol nothing that matters or care for. Not mad, not sad, not happier. Just dont even care. Not to be mean, you just dont think about a chair.
You've giving me hope again thank you may god bless you
You are so welcome. :-)
I am in no contact with my ex. She is in a rebound. Mails still come to my address for her. Should I text them to her on Watts app, like I've been doing, or should I give then to a mutual friend to give to her. I have been thinking that forwarding mails to her by Watts app is me initiating contact...which I shouldn't be doing in no contact. All she ever says is thanks. Any ideas would be welcome.
What if i broke up with her? She got in a rebound after i got into one. I broke up with mines to become friends with her, i want my ex back, and we met up to patch things up, she decided to be friends, we talk everyday and replies to my text instantly, sometimes if i take some time to reply she'll still reply instantly. I usually start off the conversations but one day i decided to see if she'll text me 1st and that shes not just being nice, and it wokred next day she texted me 1st at around 2pm. I thought she would hate me after the break up for cause of thr things i said, but after the meet up she started being more talkative. Is this a good sign?
ok say your in a ltr and know this guy for 20 yrs. I was with him for 5, we broke up and he went into rebound. We got back together but rebound was still texting and sending pics causing MEGA fights. We broke up and he went back to her, when a couple gets back together how do you get rid of rebound in a healthy way?
Good advice, been here done that.
A guy proposed my girlfriend just after our break up. Is this rebound relationship ?.
My ex is on a rebound relationship and we have a child together, i really dont want this new guy around my daughter im trying to block him i never met him and i really want her back. At least we talk and she has agreed to meet up at her job but i couldn't make it so now this week im picking my child up this week and she has agreed to meet up somewhere else besides her house i just want to know how to approach her and not say anything stupid and f ed up?
Hi Luis, We understand how hard this must be for you. Learn to be aware of your thoughts and emotions. Be mindful of what you feel so you can communicate things effectively during the meetup. Be sure to learn and practice the Advanced Relational Skills that we teach so you can apply them effectively during your interactions. All the best.
Another great and informative video!
Very relatable.
Thank you!
You're welcome, Judy. We truly appreciate your kind words knowing that our videos are relatable to most of us. :-)
This is Very informative thank you❤️
Glad it was helpful!
what if it's not a rebound relationship?
done
Don't really wanna get back with him just wanna break them up... it's not a good couple thing for him and his new girl..
Sulffix Studios Is this from a place of seeing your ex potentially beibg unhappy and you want to help them, or a place of spite? Do the right thing, and if it's the latter, do nothing, the former, tread carefully, but maybe express your concerns if you care about them whether you get them back or not.
What if i took the breakup too hard and she couldn't handle my emotions. I pushed too hard and pushed her to block me on everything except for one form of contact. my anxiety is high and all i want to do is talk to her but talking to her just drives her away.
You just have to stay strong and try and move on. It's easier said than done but you gotta make up your mind and move on. This only confirms that the relationship is over and she doesn't want to have anything to do with you. It's a tough pill to swallow but you'll be fine. It's going to be hard while in the process of moving on but trust me it'll be worth it when you finally do. Take it one day at a time. Tell yourself you're going to go 15 mins without trying to message her, then try going thirty minutes, then try going a day. Before you know it, you would have gone a week without messaging her, then a month and before you know it a year. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. When your ex realizes it's been a while without talking to you, she'll want to message you but by then, you would have moved one. Good luck.
Hi Anim4l , Attempting to talk to your ex while being in Damage Control Mode may push his wall of reactance further. It is best that you give yourself the time to work on your anxiety, heal and hone the Advanced Relational Skills. Once you feel 100% ready to initiate contact with him, that is when you can try to gauge his readiness when it comes to communicating with you. All the best.
My ex refuses to be friends with me. Are they still hurt? Do I need to give no contact a little longer?
Me too.
There still emotionally involved,,,good sign
Update?
Me too. She block me and unblock me. Her new boyfriend is ugly hahahahaha
Hey clay! My ex and I broke up in January. After that she initiated conversations via text messages almost daily. She wanted to see me but I didn’t . In July she met someone and in August I noticed that she took distance from me and stopped initiating conversations. In September this new guy posted her in her Facebook a message, one week later she posted a picture with him. I asked her about this guy and she said they were daiting. She showed herself happy and she said she already let me go. I know she didn’t get over me because all the behaviors she had with my through this year (I.e: in July she sent me a picture of us). We have never cut the relationship for real. I started the get over process the day I notice this other guy. Is this a rebound relationship? My ex girlfriend has lots of issues with her dad and her family as well. She doesn’t know how to be alone. Thank you!
Hi Federico, I'm sorry to hear about the breakup and regarding your question, it may be a rebound relationship but it may also be coming from a place of deeper concern. Just like what you said, your ex has concerns with her family and doesn't know how to be alone. It may seem like being in a relationship is her way to feel emotionally secure. All the best.
Coach Clay
Buhahaha, love it. Also gave some levity to my sadness.
My ex broke up with with me suddenly, pushing me out of the way so he could commit as quickly to his coworker.
I was blindsided. He was very cruel toward me.
Two things:
I don't want him back , the cruelty was shocking and I was a mess.
The second, how do I see the red flags of a serial commit fast unavailable man?
I am still grieving so it will be awhile.
Thank you.
Oh, I actually do wish my ex well btw.
Hi Rachel, I'm sorry to hear about what happened and we hope that you are holding on well. Doing a 5 x 5 list is the best way to know if you are getting into a healthy relationship. Aside from that, by dating and getting to know the person, you would eventually know more about his personal values and intent. So it is best not to fall into the trap of feeling too fast and feeling too much. :-) All the best.
@@ClayAndrews
Thank you so much.
I do not like game playing, this is why I respect you and your team.
Thank you during this painful recovery.
You're welcome, Rachel. :-)
This is ingenious! May be the most I've ever gotten out of a fifteen minute video! Btw, I am both the ex and the new girlfriend currently dealing with his ex trying to sabotage us. Won't happen, we have always loved one another, but bc of his being a Green Beret for years overseas, circumstances kept us apart. We NEVER stopped talking on the phone, skyping, emailing, and back in the day sending letters through the mail. We have always had a "soul connection". She has been cyberstalking me and trying to manipulate us. She made a dummy Facebook account where she posted a photo of them from years ago as her profile photo! Anyway, I'm just sitting back, letting her drive him further away with her crazy. Good to know I've been doing everything right:)
Are you still together? Any update?
What if you talk to you ex every single day and she tells you that she cannot be in a room with you without wanting sex. That she still loves you and wants to be together but she's afraid of repeating past mistakes in the relationship so she stays with her rebound who she "kinda cares for."
That’s a funny way to destroy someone. I usually use a claw hammer.
My situation is so messed up. I think my ex is with someone else (he's never told me, but i have my suspicions), but since we broke up (year and a half ago), we never stopped messing around. It's not all the time but at least a couple times a month. And we text or FaceTime. We can't stop ourselves, obviously. What should I do?
um, if you want him back you need to stop sleeping with him immediately
The bad thing about you two messing around is that it would confuse the both of you if it's actually lust or the person that you want. You're in a tough situation but the first advice i can give you is to set boundaries with him.
It's very clear what you need to do. You need to stop being used. But don't say it and then change your mind under pressure. You need to go out and have fun on dates and start being distant but friendly and ever more distant to him. Let him freak out about actually losing you, let him worry that you've finally realized that you are better than he is treating you.
Alice First who ended what you had together
What about when your seperated wife allows a guy she met a month ago to move in with her and your kids?It is to my advantage because we always have a connection because of the children.Though I feel she is trying to replace me with this new guy,she hasn't told the kids "this is your new dad" ,but I could see her trying that.
What if your Ex had their ex as a friend. When you were in a relationship? Is t bg at common or normal?
Don't involve your self in someone elses matters. An ex, is an ex for a reason. Let it go, move on, be a better person.
I can’t be friends with him when he’s with her. I want to but I can’t. I told him I’d love to be friends with him when he’s not with her. It’s not because I’m jealous of her (yes I don’t like her because she is a home wrecker) BUT it’s because she’s a horrible person. Does no contact work though if you can’t be friends with them while they are with the person they are with. Will they come back if they still love you and want you to be in their life still.
Edit: literally a month later so much has changed. we’re friends now and he professed his feelings to me and he’s still with her but wow. i can see us getting back together in the future.
We can never be friends
this is tu video i was waiting for! thanks from tj mexico
we went through the crisis point, he made so many excuses and even told me that he tried to break up with new girlfriend to get back with me but the new girlfriend did not agreed. so he ended up continuing their relationship and i ended up being heart broken again. we talked so many times through messages and phone calls and he told me he still loves me but he is already in love with the new girlfriend. we met once and we ended having intimate physical contact. i don’t know what i have done for him not to get back with me.
I'm sorry to hear about that. The crisis Point can truly be a sensitive phase and even confusing for a person. Let your ex weigh his decision but don't let his actions turn your world fall apart. You have to be emotionally independent regardless of your ex's decision.
Staying friends wouldn't kinda help wean them off of you though? Or show that they will still have you as a back up option if the rebound/monkey branching person doesn't work?
Im in no contact for my 3rd week with the exception of her wishing me a happy bday 2 days ago first thing in the morning (when shes normally sleeping) and she liked a photo on my IG.. She left me so that she ciuld spend time with a co worker whos "just a friend" but sleep together. She said theyre just good friends and shes not interested however she spends all her time with him. She definitely likes him but it may not be mutual. Her and I are not in bad terms. She wants to be friends while on her "break" but cant stand to see me hurting. Will this still work??
@@drowolo1285 Oh yeah ? Details?
Thanks for your support clay these tactics really work shes been gone two weeks and is already spamming and so on after a bad argument two phone calls left and its done
You're welcome.
Hi Coach. Is it okay or is it a good idea to ruin, destroy, or sabotage your ex's new happy relationship just to get him back?
I wouldn't recommend doing that. Instead, why not focus on having such a strong connection with your ex that he loses interest in dating anyone other than you?
Though, at the end of the day, you can really do whatever you want, just so long as you are okay with the consequences of your actions.
Thank you so much Coach Clay. But I was the new girlfriend of that happy relationship. 😢💔
@@mylasaldasal9029 couldn't have been as happy as his ex or he wouldn't have gone back to her.
I broke up with my ex but she doesn't get any effect of the breakup and after some argueing issues she started to talk other guys but when she was with me I said that if she's in love with me then no chit chat with other guys is not allowed and now.she reply other guys text talk to other guys and I guess also like someone so what can I do please tell me