AITA For Wanting to Divorce Because of What My Wife Said in Therapy | Episode 102
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 11 ก.ค. 2024
- Episode 102 - Thanks to our Latest $8 Patron Maria C!
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0:00 New Year's Resolutions Are Over
1:38 AITA For Getting Upset When My Mon Told Me That Being Disabled Is My Own Fault
5:44 Response
10:38 Update
12:49 Australia Banned Spiderman
14:11 Remember Tide Pods Challenge
16:37 AITAH For Correcting The Woman My Friend Is Sleeping With About Her "Status" In His Life
20:52 Response
24:35 Bringing Back Top 5 Hottest Presidents
25:59 AITA For Telling My Parents The Only Way I Will Let Them Meet My Son is If They Give Me Their Dog To Put Down
27:55 Response
40:25 AITA For Telling My Wife We Can Adopt Her Nephews But Not Her Niece
42:10 Madi Makes it Weird
42:35 Response
49:10 Top Comment
52:35 Update
53:57 Response
54:55 WIBTA If I Photoshopped The Color of My SIL's Dress
55:48 Response
57:56 Wife in Therapy
58:47 AITA For Wanting to Divorce Because of What My Wife Said in Therapy
1:02:28 Response
Story 1: She was 6?!? The mother is a narcissistic
Early ganggg
Nah narcissists act different. She was displacing and projecting her guilt.
Wow! These people SUCK! So sorry for this person 😢you don’t deserve that type of comment from anyone.
came to say this, it literally has nothing to do with narcissim she's just resentful and it built up@@natkatmac
Story 1 - That old lady can choke on sand, not everyone whose young is able bodied. Invisible disabilities exist and can warrant need of accessibility parking, seating, etc. OP’s mom sucks too, she should have gotten herself some counseling or something if she had been holding onto this resentment for her child being severely injured. I agree that she was probably the one responsible for watching OP and has been staunchly refusing to accept the blame and redirecting it in her mind all this time.
The thing that always gets me about these stories (like the dog one), is that people in their lives always seem to expect the OP to just get over it and forgive the person, when the person never apologized or expressed any remorse!!
It’s really sad but that really happens irl.
They most definitely should not ever be dog owners if they can do something like this. I would never forgive them
@@ElizaAlmanza yeah that was absolutely disgusting of them
The sad part of the dog story.. is that OP said their parents ended up getting a dog of their own in the end. And in those 8 years still couldnt apologize for what they did.
I felt like what he asked of them was even too mild because they clearly don't value dog lives. The comparison should be someone who they value the most, their best friend.
OPs parents murdered her best friend.... why would she forgive them?
The unholy rage i felt at the mom blaming her daughter for the accident. That's how my grandfather's big sister passed away when she was 6 (unfortunately the driver who hit her didn't stop or even go get help, so it was a while before anyone found her and tried to get her medical attention (this was in a rural area in 1947 and they loved in a rural area so there were less people driving by to potentially see her and no airlift option) and she passed away a few hours later), and the thought of someone blaming her for that?! Especially if it came from one of her parents?! They spent the next 60+ years of their lives missing her and feeling horrible guilt over what happened (despite her aunt's actually being the ones who were supposed to be watching her), and when her dad passed at 96 years old his last words to my grandfather were about how his baby girl (what he always called Diane) was there to get him and how grateful he was to go be her dad again. My grandfather was only 3 and can't remember her face or her voice, but still thinks of her everyday. He even named his own daughter after her. None of them would have EVER blamed Diane for that and knowing them they'd probably have gotten violent with anyone who dared suggest their baby deserved it That mother has NO IDEA how lucky she is that her daughter survived and that she didn't end up in my great-grandparents situation, especially since getting hit by a car is deadlier now than back then due to larger vehicles and faster speed limits. I'm just so appalled and sad for OP, i literally started crying thinking about it because i've seen how devastating this same situation was to my loved ones
Your great grandfather’s last words made me cry. And that’s what it looks like when parents truly love their child. OP’s mother is absolute garbage. Young children are chaotic, you have to watch them all the time. OP’s mom knows she’s at fault and doesn’t want to face it.
On the first story, the mom is an AH for what she said and for allowing six year olds to cross streets or go outside their gates. She is their mother, she knows that six year olds don’t have the memory, the attention span, or the impulse control to be trusted in a street with cars. She should have gone out with her when she asked to cross the street instead of just giving permission and allowing her to go herself.
Exactly. Even if the girl doesn’t blame her parents they are to blame. You are supposed to watch your children
man that dog story…i would never forgive my parents. they had other options than putting down a perfectly healthy, younger dog. and then to GET ANOTHER DOG????? i know it was years after but holy shit, the parents ATAH.
we lost a dog when he was pretty young (7 years old, small breed), he dug out of the yard and ate something bad, my mom got him to a vet several times a day for several days, he seemed to be getting better, but it wasn't enough.
if i found out someone did it on purpose... absolutely never talk to them again. what the hell
The foster story is hard since at 14, kids can be soooo crazy if they aren’t raised in a good environment. I think they should try to take them all in, but they should know it’s going to be hard as hell.
Honestly, I don’t blame him at all. It’s a tough decision and I do agree she needs help but it’s not help that he and his wife can provide.
Idk, it might be better for them to go to a more experienced foster family if possible. I’ve seen family members take even SLIGHTLY complex preteens, with parenting experience, and they ended up getting attached to the younger kid but wanting to relocate the older. CPS wasn’t ready to separate them or didn’t want to keep the kids in a house where family was asking for that, and they both got relocated and separated afterwards. They got rejected from family after being removed from the parents. After they were moved, they weren’t allowed any contact with the family members that had cared for them.
For the horse trainer story, the visitor was 100% the AH. Even if the roommate was only dating her she had no right to come into a person's home and tell them they were not welcome now that she is on the scene. If she had a problem with her "boyfriend" having a female roommate, that is something she needs to discuss with him, but also be prepared for him to say the situation wasn't going to change. I personally wouldn't stay in a relationship with someone who felt they could control my current living arrangements.
I completely agree with you. If you’re uncomfortable about your man having a female roommate why’d you even start to pursue things?
The first story is sad. I can’t imagine having a mom like that. She was only 6 years old. 😭 I would NOT have that mom in my life lol. OP needs a therapist. Idk how you get past that
Yeah imagine waking up without a leg when you’re only 6 years old, having a broken home and blaming yourself for that. And then hearing your mom saying that you ruined her life 😳 I would go no contact
I don't believe Spiderman was banned in Australia. But there was an episode of Peppa Pig that was banned because it taught kids that spiders can't hurt you.
I live in Aus and this is correct! I remember when that ep was banned, but yeah we all still watch all of the Spider-Man movies lol.
So, I looked up the story they talked about, and it didn't even happen in Australia it was South America.
@@crypticfangs489 spiderman was banned in South America?
@dissipatedcloud the news info didnt say anything about it being banned. Just that The kid who let himself be bit was an 8 year old in a small town in south America and just says to remind kids about fantasy and reality.
"Have you seen a Thanksgiving dinner plate??" I died laughing. I'm using that line.
S2: While it's not common, platonic cohabitation isn't unheard of, and from the outside it looks like something else.
S4: If they don't take the oldest girl, all the kids will remember that you abandoned one of them.
Story 2: I mean the house doesn't even belong to the guy living the playboy life. Someone also needs to inform those women that Joey gets free housing through his job. If that's the reaction to his normal housemate/coworker, how are they going to take it when he's got it in full B&B mode?
Story 4? I've been raised in a household with my cousins because my mom took them in after their mom left we went from a family of 3 to a family of 8. She's fought and argued with and for them, and they are better for it. I can tell you that guy is TA, get that girl out of the situation before it gets worse for her, she's still a child, this is happening while she's in middle school. Save that baby because you can and you can make a huge difference in her life, just because she knows that SOMEONE finally cares.
to be clear single mom who previously only had me and my sister for about 4 years before this.
I agree
I can see your point of view and I agree she needs help but it’s not help that he and his wife can provide. Taking her in could put their safety and finances in jeopardy, especially considering she is “dating” someone who is affiliated with gangs and has already been charged with home invasion. This puts everyone at risk. I wish it would have never come to this terrible situation.
I also understand that your mother took them in and I commend her for what she did, but that sounds entirely different from this situation. She needs so much more than they can give her.
and foster care is better? that’s going to have the resources for her? that girl needs help, sounds like op’s partner is capable and understands that.
Saying a 14 year old CHILD is "past the point of no return" is awful. I know so many people who struggled badly at that age, especially if they had a hard upbringing like she clearly did and fell in with the wrong crowd, and went on to be amazing people. But abandoning her, separating her from the only family she has left, and throwing her into the system is a great way to make sure she goes through even more trauma and has a much lower chance of becoming a healthy adult.
I understand the worries about how she may act in the house, but not even trying to help her is unthinkable to me. Plus, there's a good chance that with a stable environment, some understanding, and therapy, her behavior would greatly improve (and if it didn't after a while of trying, THEN they could consider finding her another place to live). If my husband was giving me an ultimatum to make me abandon my niece when she needs me most, it would be reason for me to divorce him.
Having trauma and being raised in a traumatic home is no excuse or justification for people to act horribly. So she has trauma - does that justify her getting involved with gangs? There are lots of people who went through horrible things as children who never turned to gangs or crime because of it. Why can't she be like them?
Completely disagree. If he knows he can’t help her with the level of trauma that she has then he should absolutely not take her in. If they take her in and are unable to give her the help she needs then they are not actually helping her.
@jupitersnoot4915 Maybe those people had a positive role model come into their life and help them find the right path. Abandoning her is not the answer. She's 14 she has time to turn things around if someone helps her. At least try.
@@nourishflourish8368 saying "we don't have the ability to give her the help she needs" is very different from saying "she's past the point of no return" about a traumatized kid, which is the main thing I took issue with, and what he actually said in the post. You might be right that *he* isn't able to do that though, given the way he already views her. But like I said, if that was my niece, I would rather leave my partner than abandon her without even trying to help (I say this as someone with a 10 year old niece and a long-term partner).
You can take dogs to emergency shelters and they will put them down. We had our 15 year old dog put down a few weeks ago and just brought him in (he had cancer and had been throwing up blood, heavily declining) what scared me though was they didnt ask any questions. We just brought them in and they were like "okay" maybe its because he was old, but i was surprised they didnt ask very many questions.
The story with the wife in therapy:
I don't understand why he is confused people can be distrustful and still kind. I don't trust hardly anyone and naturally kind without transactional expectations. Life is hard and people deserve kindness. My ability to trust was broken as a child. That is not the world's fault. Being unkind and mean to others would be spreading the kind of hurt that broke my trust.
I know many people's reactions to trauma and bad times are to be miserable and want the same for others. Seeing anyone happier and more stable makes them mad. That is not a universal, though.
Him saying he doesn't understand how she can be kind but still be distrusting and have this trauma is kind of a reflection on his character and maybe she IS right about who and how he is a person. He could still be a good dad and partner but that doesn't mean he is considered and ANGEL in her eyes.
If my parents killed my dog just because they didn’t want to deal with it, AFTER I ask them if it is alright…yeah, I’m going no contact. Being parents aside, would you really want to associate with people who 1.) can kill a living, helpless creature, WHICH HAD BEEN IN THEIR FAMILY FOR YEARS AND PROBABLY TRUSTED THEM and 2.) care so little about their own child’s feelings.
There’s no way in hell I want to be around you nor do I want you near my child. OP is NTA, but their parents might be the devil
34:31 Okay I gotta say this... #NotAllCats are like that at all though, seriously! My cat "talks" to me alllll the time, he follows me around my apartment just to be in the same room where I am, and he always meets me at the door when I get home to give me leg-rubs and a whole monolog about how long I was gone lol.
I'm just as much of a dog person as I am a cat person too, btw. But I'm convinced that people who think cats (as a whole) don't care just haven't gotten to know enough cats, for real. 😹
Yeah, a lot of the times when my cat realizes she's downstairs alone she starts crying until you go to her or call her upstairs 😅 so many cats are SO incredibly loving and sweet, and imo a lot of the "asshole" cats are just ones who have been mistreated or neglected.
Oh cats definitely care. My sister's first cat would be all over visitors when my sister was in the room, but completely ignore them otherwise... because she wanted to make my sister jealous as punishment for having the PAWDACITY to get another cat. 😹
AITH Adoption Story - We have four children. One of my sons best friends and his two brothers were put into long-term foster care. One was a middle schooler, and two were high schoolers. They moved to 11 different foster homes around Oregon in less than a year. People don't want to foster older kids! They just don't. You have to have all these things in place to be a foster parent. Based on the size of our house we only had room for the youngest one. In between being moved, the two brothers would stay at our house. Since it was just a visit, it was okay that they didn't have a room and could sleep on our couch. After watching what this was doing to these kids, we drained our 401K and remodeled our house. We closed off our dining room to make another bedroom. I went from a mom of four to a mom of seven overnight. I never introduced them as my foster children me,they are my boys. That also got me some looks haha I think people thought I became a baby factory at age 11 🤣🤣 when we got the two oldest the school told us one of them was behind a year and the other even further. They said that there was no chance of them graduating on time. Well, they all graduated on time! One is working on getting his Bachelors. Putting kids in a different environment can make a world of difference. Having a good male influence can show a young, impressionable girl how she really should be treated. It wasn't easy, but it was worth it. The foster system needs more people willing to be foster parents to teenagers.
Story 1: I worked as a social worker for disabled children for five years and currently do disability advocacy work. Most husbands leave, abuse or neglect to death disabled partners. It's one of the reasons more disabled women stay single than disabled men (my grad school research proved this hypothesis lol). But something rarely discussed is men doing the same thing for parent-child relationships too. Most fathers will not only abandon their disabled child but the rest of the family too with a trend of blaming the women/mother for the disability while leaving. This breeds a lot of resentment so that's likely what has been happening with her mother.
Story 4: turns out Hank Hill really was a great guy. There are programs to help children like her and very few people (especially not children) ever deserve the "lost cause" moniker.
Story 6: I just said what the wife said!! Unfortunately mental health issues are part of the "in sickness" so she really was right in the end. Long term mental health issues like Bipolar, anxiety and depression come with a lot of nihilistic thinking and distrust for the "true nature" of others like her. She's actively over riding her nihilistic thoughts with optimistic behaviour and her trauma based distrust of people and their intentions by entrusting herself to him. She is working on it so that's a plus.
Good point about the last story. What irked me about it was that the wife never said he wasn't a good person, just that he wasn't kind, but the podcast people were talking as if she had said he was a bad person. I don't see why it's so controversial to say that someone isn't kind anyway. Clearly her understanding of kindness has much higher standards than his, so it's not really weird at all to say it.
I could see him being upset that she doesn't trust or know if she loves him, but opening up about the kind of things she is opening up about is exactly the way that trust and love are built. But he doesn't seem to be a very supportive and trustworthy person, jumping to divorce right away before even considering seeing a psychologist himself.
Your assumption for the first story is vile and not based on anything OP mentioned AT ALL! As a professional you should know that all cases are unique. OPs dad did NOT abandon his family he and his wife simply got divorced and apparently not even because of that. He is quite literally still a present figure in her life so much so that he not only came to pick up his 18 year old daughter when she called him (which she did because he felt safe and comfortable with him) but also laid into his ex-wife for verbally abusing their disabled daughter. You literally listened to a story about a MOTHER berating and blaming her disabled daughter for all the problems and some how came to the conclusion that the father is the one in the wrong here?!?! This sort of thought process would be disgusting coming from anyone but seeing as you qualified your statement by saying you're a professional it's actually extra disgusting. Do you disregard the facts and jump to conclusions based solely on your own preconceived assumptions when you're at work too or only online? DO BETTER!
@@lalie9995 wtf?? I didn't assume anything, those are facts. Men abandon sick/disabled partners and children more often than not with this usually involving abandoning the rest of the family with it. To the OP's mother he left because she was disabled and it bred resentment in her.
And don't go around assuming things about me and my career. If you had any education you'd know that facts don't care about your feelings of what is right and wrong (reality doesn't either, petunia!)
About the last story: People with personality disorders are NOT like people without them. As someone who has BPD (borderline), the way that the wife expressed herself is VERY common language for those with BPD which almost always comes with PTSD and anxiety where the distrust comes from. If someone with borderline wiring is with you and tells you they love you, believe them as much as you would if they were not borderline.
Her telling her husband that she does not trust anyone is a very vulnerable thing, and disclosing that is showing that she DOES trust him: with that incredibly stigmatized information!!
The best advice for anyone new to having a partner with personality disorder symptoms: These disorders often come with “double bookkeeping”, or simultaneously believing contradictory information. Someone with BPD can have their mind convince them that nobody can be trusted, but they can recognize that that is irrational, and simultaneously know that they can trust people who demonstrate trustworthiness.
Also, look into DBT, a form of therapy that affirms the feelings and experiences of those with unstable moods, then works to identify what thoughts and actions are more constructive.
Do not take everything she has said personally!!! You also have a right to be hurt. But, what a persodivergent person says about their thought process is not always the ONLY way they think about something, and because of the lack of commonly known resources, many have not unpacked/do not have the language to express that some of what they “believe” is something they simultaneously can recognize as irrational.
And because this is often wrapped up in PTSD, and many persodivergents have been put in a longterm state of fight or flight by those around them (especially in the wife’s case with the damaging actions of caregivers in formative years), some even develop a defense mechanism of stating their most “inflammatory beliefs” to test if someone can be “scared off” so that they don’t have to be hurt again, because many persodivergents are abandoned and/or written off as abusive for not understanding themselves nor having had the resources to develop coping mechanisms.
The world is not understanding to us by default because that’s just one of the gaps in society’s common knowledge and methods. Persodivergent people can still definitely be assholes, but in my opinion it is not fair to judge them in the frequent scenario where they have not had a chance to even understand their thinking. It would be like judging someone who is Autistic for thinking differently (many persodivergents are ALSO Autistic, myself included, as personality disorders and Autism both have high comorbidity, as Autism often leads to the formative mistreatment that makes personality disorders more likely to occur).
Ultimately, be kind, be patient, be empathetic, do your research, and listen to those who have the conditions that make you uncomfortable. Thanks for reading I know this comment was stupid long.
mi first instinct was in fact that she was testing him, of course she needs therapy solo and couples, but her problems arent going to vanish in the next second, of course it is hard to be called a bad person and that you arent a person to trust, but as you said, informing yourself about it and trying to be compassionate can get you miles
I worked for a no kill shelter and vet. Unfortunately even with that the laws in our state are that an owner can go to any vet and have them put to sleep for any reason.
The adoption story.... i feel so bad for that girl. I think the least they could do was give her a chance. Give her a sit down saying, we are your family, we love you, we want to support you, but these behaviors worry us.... and also get her into therapy.
It’s just not that easy. They’re also putting their own lives at risk taking that kid in as well.
that's the weirder part to me, assuming that she'd be a problem before figuring it out. You just admitted to the sister being so poor she was dealing to support the family so yeah the kid is going to be a theif. I'd have to leave him cause he has a control problem. He sounds like he'd be a horrible parent
I LOVE the term “dog uncle” 🤣 I’m absolutely a dog aunt. I have three cats that I love very much, and even though I adore dogs, I just don’t have the kind of time and energy that a dog requires and deserves. However, my sister has a golden retriever that I get to go love on anytime I want ❤️
Maybe they told the vet that the dog had a bite history? The only reason our vet puts down healthy dogs is if they have become a legitimate danger and can't be rehomed or because it was court ordered after an attack. But also those are mostly pitbulls and huskys that have been heavily abused and do serious damage. And even then they don't like to do it, it's kinda hard to see a beagle as a threat
ahhh. i felt very differently about that last story. kind ≠ good. you can still be a good person and not be "kind." granted, maybe everyone's definition of what kindness looks like is different? i interpreted what she was saying as her husband wasn't pretending to be kind, like people she's known before and that she felt secure in that. she has gone through so much hurt and loss in her life, and is trying her best to navigate through all of the distrust. the fact that she eagerly invited him to therapy proves there is love/care there and that she's willing to try with him by her side. also in sickness doesn't just mean physical, it's mental too. so the immediate divorce decision because she's distrusting after all the loss she's experienced ..... she was right about not saying it. i dunno, those are just my thoughts!! ♡
I agree 10000% like she’s been actively getting help and I feel like what OP especially is missing is that for someone who has been thru as much trauma as his wife, her being able to find anyone she feels that safe with is HUGE. I feel like OP made it about him idk😅 like to an extent I can understand why he’s upset, but him being upset rly just shows that he wasn’t even trying to understand her POV. Her love for him isn’t any lesser bc it’s rooted in his honesty. And jumping to divorce is insane 💀 idk I just feel like she wants to grow with him (as she’s invited him to therapy and has made it clear that she values him) and he was just surprised that he’s not as perfect as he imagined himself to be (but isn’t the fact that his wife knows he’s not perfect but loves him for who he is so much better tho?)
This!!! And now that she was vulnerable and open and honest and OP wants a divorce…now she’s gonna trust less and be quiet. Just cause that’s how SHE thought when she married you doesn’t mean it doesn’t grow and change. And she’s dealing with her trauma, she’s literally doing everything right to get past it and maybe she will view him differently as she grows. But to just shut her down is wild.
If Reddit be dippin...you know theres a problem where you need to have a professionals opinion...like the therapist...talk to the therapist about ALLL of that.
That adoption story. The OP sounds unhinged. He only wants to adopt to discipline the kids how he wants. It's kinda crazy for him to ask her to split her SISTER'S children up. Do you want to actually help or not? The child just needs actual parenting. I would divorce him immediately.
Op divorced her and moved out.
There's a new update and what he heard from his friends:
1. My ex got temporary guardianship of the kids.
2. She moved the kids in and registered them at the local schools. The niece was suspended several times.
3. My ex and her niece got into some heated argument about her skipping school and letting boys into the house while the ex was at work.
4. The niece and her friends cleaned the house of all valuables one day while my ex was at work and they left. No one knows where she's at.
5. Her family thinks I'm the devil and things would have gone much smoother if I stayed and helped her.
be rational for a bit and think of how you would do the actual parenting for those kids especially the 14 years old. look at the update. i'm glad he left.
Story 6: That guy put words in his wife's mouth. She said she doesn't see him as kind or pretending to be kind. She said he is honest. She never said he wasn't a good person. He interpreted that. There are mean people that are largely seen as good people. Kindness is contextual for most people.
Imagine your older sister gets abandoned while you get adopted... That guy is SUCH TA >:(
The silence at the title of story 3 😅😂
The horse farm thing like, everyone is GROWN 😂 imagine being in a situationship and being jealous of your guy's roomie. Yikes. If you're unhappy with the situation, leave.
you guys should play the 'nExT sToRy' theme backwards when there's an awkward or failed transition lol
OMG I’ve been binging y’all for the past week since I found y’all on TikTok and I finally am here on a release day🤩 y’all are great! I’ve been putting you on at work, while I do chores, etc.
The foster story-- something about the way he said he wanted to adopt so no one would interfere and then said he doesn't want the kid old enough to be able to advocate for her self makes me creeped out.
That first story is me except I was 25, the woman who hit me was f###ing around on her cell phone before she wrapped me into my bike, and my narcissist of a sperm donor continues to believe that one day every thing is just going to be alright so the birth giver continues to support his hope. The 5 broken bones have healed. The TBI gets worse everyday. The discs in my back continue to become more and more arthritic, where they haven't fully reptured. I'm in early osteopenia because the bone healing leached the calcium out of my blood, and I still have days where I test at 0 vitamin D. I'm permanently anemic because I'm allergic to the nail in my leg, but nOt AlLeRgIc EnOuGh to medically require a replacement (even though the smaller version of the first one killed the bone and surrounding marrow).
Those parents don't have any scope of time or space. Because it's all theirs and everything else is an inconvenience.
For story 4, think about the resentment the nephews would have because their parents split them up from their sister and let her continue down that path. They might blame their adopted parents for that
I agree, but unfortunately it doesn’t sound like they’d handle the daughter well at all if they DID take them all based on how he describes her.
Yet is it better for them all to be in foster care? (Of course not but ugh, that’s so hard)
At 14 though i definitely think she still can turn herself around. Simply being away from the environment they’re in now may drastically help.
But the wife didn’t say he was a bad person OP did. The wife essentially said he trust worthy because he doesn’t bs people out of kindness or faking it.
43:49 Did he ever stop to think maybe shes acting out because of her mom's behavior? She had to deal with her mom for the longest alone and nobody stepped in and saved her. I dont think it's fair to abandon her when she probably just needs some counseling and honest effort put in. She's still a child and I think it's cold hearted to throw her away when you seem willing to work with the boys towards corrective behavior.
Set some boundaries, maybe put a lock on a few things, but give her a chance to actually have a better life. Its insane to me that he's not correlating her possible trauma and instability with her behavior.
I don’t think that child is beyond repair. Love and stability can take you far.
For the 4th story, I feel like if they don't want her full time but don't want her to go into the system, they should consider boarding school- putting her in an environment where she has structure and support from the school, is cut off from her bad influences that she currently has, and can still visit her family in holidays
Yooooooo. I have never been this early. I love you guys. You always make me laugh! I also enjoy watching your videos to see how other people would give their views on things. It definitely helps me see different situations from different sides.
Woot woot!!
Oops, didn't mean to reply to you, meant to make my own comment. 😂😂😂
@@RealBradMillerYou are fine!
The story with the six-year-old dog being euthanized is absolutely wild! I work at an emergency veterinary hospital, and we won't even euthanize if someone claims their dog has aggression. We always tell them to wait until their primary care vet is open because they would have documentation of this pet being aggressive in the past to confirm that it was necessary to euthanize.
I know that laws vary state to state, and oftentimes it's left to doctor's discretion because pets are still considered property, but in a lot of cases your pet would need to have severe health concerns or be elderly for us to recommend end-of-life as opposed to relinquishing to a shelter.
With story about adoption you only got 4 years if left until she is 18 that’s not that long also how u going to them up they’ve already have known them then to have their siblings one of the only familiar thing taken away and sent somewhere else
That last story…hooooooly shiiiiiit. I feel like both people are justified in feeling the way that they do, but it’s an all around tragedy nonetheless.
You can’t blame the wife for being unable to trust anyone, which isn’t her fault, nor can you blame her for being honest about her actual thoughts and feelings but…at the same time, why get married at all? Especially to someone you don’t think is a good person?
And I can’t blame OP for feeling gutted by her saying she never actually trusted him, and that she thinks he’s selfish, but that’s fine as long as he’s not deceptive about it. Which is just…ooof. I mean, maybe he IS selfish, and just doesn’t realize that. Because I do think getting a divorce over your wife being honest, no matter how painful that may be, _is_ selfish if you have children together and haven’t even tried to come to terms with any of what was said. Calling it quits over hurt feelings in that situation isn’t going to solve anything, it’s just retaliation. Which again, is understandable, but IMHO they have a lot more conversations that they need to have before the husband takes off and leaves her (and presumably their kids).
I will never get over the opening sequence I HAVE TO RECITE IT EVERY TIME.
Dog story--- there was a mom in my local moms group last month (Christmas time!!!) Saying "our cat pees a lot and scratches us. Where can i bring him to be put down in the area that accepts healthy animals. I dont want to rehome him bc what if someone else abuses him?"
I was GAGGED
Like "if i cant have him no one can"
Theres some seriously sick people out there 😢
Madi was talking about Ray Williams!
The dog one pisses me off so damn bad because my mom got rid of my corgi in high school when I was at a state competition for high school and didn't tell me she was even planning it so I was fully expecting to come home to him only to find that she just got rid of him. She said because I was in high school and did extracurricular activities that I couldn't provide for him the right way, even though I made sure he was fed and went on runs with me, etc. I was so broken. She told me she couldn't stand little dogs and didn't want to take care of him anymore when I was at work or a school activity. I believed that she didn't like small dogs, until she bought my step dad a pug as a gift months after getting rid of my dog. And then she "swears" she got out of the yard and ran away a few years later but we all know she let her out or sold her. I'm still so angry about it and this was 12+ years ago
1:02:20 I grew up insecure. I wouldn't trust anyone around me with my life. Anyone. I understand her, because i was in her position.
Y'all I'm catching up because I was sick this week- I just wanted to pop in and say that I actually did hear a tide pod's commercial on the TV last night for the first time and I don't know how long😂😂❤
I love that your dog is named husker! I just renamed my dog Herbie, as he is a husky, so he’s Herbie the Husky 😂
14:27 I’m so with Brandon on this one. Teens and adults doing this??? And the fact that I was also a teen at the time these crazy things were happening confused tf outta me because “why are they so much more stupid than me?” went through my brain the whole time. The tide pod “challenge,” skull breaker “challenge,” that one where they set themselves on fire, etc., so infuriating to see.
The cinnamon challenge that Glozelle was originally known for(went viral for?) was fine in the beginning, but after that, people were telling everyone about the dangers of doing it. And people were still doing it😭.
story 1: the mom had TWELVE YEARS to get therapy and figure her shit out. "Now I have felt guilty over the years, and thought the same thing to myself, then I’d reassure myself that no one else blames me." mom may have cracked that day, but i'm sure it's been leaking out over the years as well! OP shouldn't have had to reassure *herself* that it's not her fault!
I love the intense intro song hahaha so much suspense
Story 4 as an adult who grew up in the system with 8 other siblings and only 2 of us ended up in foster care. It tore my entire life apart. I was 4 and am 37 now and just found them. I have alotnof truma but the fact that i dont know my blood and will never have the relationship i wish i had ..they are all I have. My mother is a stranger too. Its really hard and id rather grown up with all of them and if their was a choice we would have stayed together but it wasn't possible. If they found out it was possible i dont think they would forgive their parents. I know i wouldn't. Your siblings are a huge portion of your identity growing up. If i never knew them then thats different but those boys WILL hold a resentment. It will blow up into a worst situation later. At least try!!
lol as an Australian, Aus did not ban spiderman. One episode of peppa pig was banned though, as it held the message that spiders were harmless and could be touched, which is obviously problematic here.
RAY WILLIAM JOHNSON!! I GOTCHU MADDIE!
Love you guys, kisses from Brazil
I also have a pet story like that. My parents got me a cat for my 10th birthday. I said my whole life that I would take Oliver with me when I moved away as an adult. My parents were surprised when my cat lived long enough to actually do that. I was 3 years graduated after college when I was finally moving away and told my parents I wanted to take my cat.
BOTH of my parents went through this song and dance about how he was too old to move (my cat was living at my parents house because there were no pet friendly apartments in my area at the time). I felt bad and almost decided to leave Oliver back with my parents while I moved across the country without him.
Then my mom says “[dad] tell her what your mom said.” (My dad’s parents also live with my parents.) Then my parents had the GALL to tell me that my grandmother, who liked my cat the most, thought he was getting too old and couldn’t take care of him anymore. So if I left him behind they were going to put him down. I was furious. How dare they try to guilt me into leaving my cat knowing they were going to kill him once I left.
I moved with my cat and Oliver is living happily and healthily to this day with me across the country.
Story #1 The AUDACITY that mom has, and that woman on the bus needs to mind her own business! Never have I screamed NTA so fast on a story.
the intro is so good
The last story: her issue is much more with herself than with him. It´s not that she thinks he is a bad person, I believe she thinks nobody is a good person. She suffered trauma with her parents, probably someone she loved and trusted that betrayed her. She probably suffer other traumas related to trusting people and she closed herself. She started distrusting people and not believing they could be genuinaly kind as a way to protect herself from getting hurt and dissapointed again. For what he says, it seems that she doesn´t even consider herself a good person. It is really sad and a really hard situation. But I don´t think it is about him in any way. It´s about her perspective and a behaviour that she learned in other to protect herself.
On the last story, I think that the issue is that her trauma is making her think that being good and kind means completely violating all of your own boundaries for the comfort and wellbeing of others. If she keeps going to a good therapist, she’s going to understand that she needs healthy boundaries and that that’s ok. And then she’ll start to understand that her husband is healthy, not selfish.
Sams always the intrusive thought 😂😂
You're talking about raywilliamjohnson!
ray william johnson on the equals three channel. I got ya maddie lol
WIth the Nephews and Niece story.
Its honestly completely reasonable. They arent the bad guys, the only bad guy is the mother and father of the kids. If they took none of them in, they'd be separated in Foster anyway.
The daughter has 4 more years before shed be free anyway.
Plus I know the foster system is far from perfect, but theres a chance she could learn more, or get placed in a home that is better equipped to help her.
Whether they took 1 or 3 kids, the OP and their wife is still doing alot, there is practically no upside to taking in the kids and theyre still going to.
Foster families probably have experience with difficult kids and receive resources. I completely understand the OP's decision and dont blame them.
Brandon said husker will get a dad that steps up one day
There is an update to the adoption story. The girl robs the wife.
No living thing deserves to be killed just because it wandered onto your property. Especially if it doesn't have a concept of that and is just trying to chill
I totally admire that social worker comment for bringing up the reality of the situation that the boys aren't going to be easier than the 14-year-old girl because they've obviously been raised so far in a really chaotic situation. And the social worker is correct that if you don't feel equipped to deal with those kinds of issues, you probably shouldn't. Before that comment, I was thinking that there may be something to be said about sitting the teenage girl down and telling her that they want to help her, but it's going to take quite a bit of effort on her part, too, and if she does anything to put the family in danger, they won't be able to help her. People respond well to respect and I do feel that the teenager will be more respectful if she feels SHE'S being respected. But the social worker is right that this girl has serious issues: behavioral, drugs, associated with gangs, etc. and one respectful conversation with her probably won't be enough to turn her life around.
why do i feel like they killed the dog themselves by neglect but ultimately gave the excuse that they took it to get killed. i just wont believe anything…
Maddie was talking about Raywilliamjohnson i think 😂
The dog being put down - I would never forgive these psychopaths. They could have been less cruel and put it in a shelter. They paid money to kill it. My dog saved me from an abusive relationship - she was one of the most important relationships of my life. I would never speak to my parents again if they killed my dog that I rescued, cherished, and loved.
As far as the extra stuff the 14 year old might need, literally special parenting training and experience on how to communicate with and de-escalate volatile and traumatized children. How to show them love so that they perceive it. How to not accidentally trigger them with stuff that’s often common sense AFTER you’ve been told but not before.
Story 2: OP NTA. Petty maybe, but not an ass. The girl was trying to mark her territory with the OP & Joey. The main reason she is NTA is because Joey was not bothered by the incident and grateful that it ended with the girl.
Story 4: (with the dog and the son not forgiving his parents) I had a similar experience I had a dog that I got as a kid who was 6 or 7 at the time healthy I was 16 the dog lived with me and we were living separate from my mom. My mom complained about the dog about her that she cost to much money so me and the dog moved and I got a job to pay for what my dog needed. Apparently my mom had talked to my grandmother about going to where I was living and taking the dog to be put down while I was away because she wanted no ties to the dog. Luckily my grandmother told her that was a absolute ridiculous reason and that she hadn’t been paying anything for the dog because I was taking care of them my grandmother told her if she did that I would cut all contact with her and never forgive her which she is correct thank goodness that never happened.
My dog lived to be 15 I am a dog person but my childhood dog held a special place in my heart i probably loved that dog more than I loved myself and I made sure she had the best life until the end she was there for me through my toughest times in life. If my mom would have went through I could never be able to forgive her and I would want nothing to do with her knowing she took away something I loved and cherished so much I’m with OP he’s definitely not the asshole.
The dog story??? Immediately disowning my parents forever on that one, don’t try to contact me ✌️
Btw, the guy Madi was talking about after the first story is Ray William Johnson. He did =3 and reviewed videos like on ridiculousness.
Story 2: I (female) had a platonic male roommate in my early 20s, and I relate to this story. My roommate often brought girls over to hook up, usually casual encounters. He didn't date them too often. The girls always saw me as a threat, even though he was not interested in me and we weren't each other's type. They'd often accuse him of hooking up with me on the side. That never happened of course, and I honestly was kinda surprised that these girls saw me as competition. I think they would assume all men are dogs and would sleep with any girl in sight. Don't get me wrong, he was a bit of a fuckboy back then. But we just didn't have that kind of relationship.
Guys the spotify uploads arent keeping up wkth your last 2 vids. How can i be loling while working anymore haha
Guys I love you ! You're like my cousins 😂
I saw Glozell at the airport one time. Green lipstick and everything.
i'm sorry if my parents put my dog down straight up LIED to me, had no intention of telling me the truth and i had to hear from my sibling the truth and they showed no remorse? not only will i rain hell fire upon their lives i would do everything in my power to ruin their life as well as never ever ever speaking to them again. (but again i don't really want kids, i have my dog and he’s enough)
20:45 "Joey said she was more like #3." That's cold. And hilarious.🤣 Yeah, it's obvious that this girl was attempting to assert dominance by saying "when are you moving out" and "you aren't the most important woman in his life." It didn't work because this guy isn't relationship material. He's hook-up material, and he's been upfront about that from the start.
She was the one who didn’t watch her 6 year old cross the street but she blames her for getting hit?!
Hello to Husker from my office at UNL ❤️
Me toooo! Yay!!🎉🎉🎉
New pod 🎉
This is the earliest I’ve ever caught a new episode!!! Yay for new episodes
ray william johnson lol 15:59
Joey was NOT the asshole. They knew what he was on and agreed to it
16:00 i think you're talking about ray William Johnson, OG host of equals 3😢
If my parents killed my dog I would never speak to them for the rest of my life
Sam please don’t kill bats! They’re just wild animals that got trapped- they don’t want to hurt you. Bats are so good for the environment and they’re not useless pests 🥺
I'm going to think about that in the future! Thanks Lexie
They also kill actual pests, like mosquitoes!
The Josh Johnson reference >>>>> 25:08