AITA For Wanting a Divorce After Cancer | Episode 92
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
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Episode 92 With Brandon, Sam, and Madi
0:00 Hi
0:42 AITA For Laughing At My Ex and Her Husband for Asking to Have Our Daughter For Another Month
2:30 Our Laugh Stories
8:52 Response
10:30 Top Comment
12:15 AITA For Wanting a Divorce After Cancer
14:37 Our Response
28:09 AITA For Leaving My Roommate to Deal With 10k and An Eviction
34:32 Response
38:08 R/ComfortLevelPod
38:50 Should I Break Up With BF of 9 Years
41:47 Response
43:43 Temptation Island
49:53 Back to Response
51:36 Top Comment and Response
54:45 Potatoes
56:27 AITA For Taking Potatoes Off a Guy's Plate
57:56 Response
58:15 Act Out
1:04:44 Response
1:06:34 AITA For Asking My Husband to Not Eat Lunch at Night
1:08:23 Response
1:11:30 Top Comment and Response
1:14:16 Sam Wants To Leave To Fish
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The husband in the cancer story is exhibiting financially abusive behavior. He knows he makes much more than her. Giving her a “discount” because she was pregnant with their child is some manipulative nonsense.
Oh yeah he's definitely financially abusive.
totally what i picked up on too. they were WAY too easy on him during this discussion. he sounds AWFUL.
The fact that he expected her to keep working and paying while getting cancer treatment (radiation or chemo) is unforgivable
And she’s making less because she took the career hit so he could have the one he loves. He knows this too.
Yeah and it felt like they grazed past the fact that he raped her
With the cancer story I think you all forgot that she DID bring up her feelings to her husband many times and he was dismissive.
The story about letting his wife work full time during cancer is wild. Like no. He doesn’t seem like he cares about anyone but himself and he doesn’t have common sense to be considerate. He doesn’t consider her. And even if she has brought it to him, it’s clear he doesn’t want compromise because his compromise was when she was pregnant she got to pay less therefore it’s only fair she plays catch up. It’s all about him. It’s actually pretty abusive. He’s disgusting. And sure. You can check out of a relationship but it’s human decency. Are you that cold that while your wife is going through cancer and makes so much less than you, that you can’t care at all? Also, he keeps her at a lower income job on purpose. I swear. It’s an abuse tactic. If she’s paying so much money and makes so much less she doesn’t have options. It’s just sad
Its sad that so many people stay in these loveless marriages for the kids,my heart goes out to this woman.
This treatments are soooo draining and to make her go to work afterwards is insane. Not to mention kids are a lot energy.
That is awful! She had to sacrifice her own career for his dream, and get a lower paying job, and he still wanted to split everything 50/50? That's absurd. What sacrificies have you made for this relationship, buddy?
Exactly! And then 50/50 on top of that and his excuse me is that he was paying more when she PREGNANT 🤮
😢
Telling him that you cheated while he's shooting up your home. Insanity really 💀💀
The wife with cancer, I think the relationship ended when he didn't give her any support and had her working full time and paying for 50% of bills because she got a "break" during her pregnancies.
So he gave her a "break" when she was a vessel for his children but when she literally had to fight for her life, no way. That says a lot about who is as a person to his core. No amount of therapy can fix that.
As a cancer survivor, it really gives you a new perspective and who is really there for you. Her husband was not. Especially insisting on living in the middle of nowhere where treatment was a long drive away (they can only do chemo/radiation in specific hospitals not all of them)and I bet you she did all of it alone, and that’s so hard after chemo. She will be happier leaving him - at least the courts will make him pay his fair share.
And she was working through all of her treatment! When it sounds like he could have supported them easy enough. Wild stuff
for the 3rd story whenever she feels guilty she needs to remember that the roommate would have never felt guilty for leaving her holding the bill at least not until she got sober and reflected but by then it'd be too late. Drugs really really change people especially hard shit like cocaine or meth? METH!
Roommate literally put their lives at risk
OP should feel proud she had the courage to get out while she could
True. Once you move out, any problems they cause are THEIRS alone. She got taken advantage of.
Paying things 50/50 is not traditional. And men do not NEED sex, thats a load of bs. Leave his ass
For real. Plus even if you do 50/50 it needs to be proportional to each person's income
I hate when people refer to sex as a need! No one in the history of the world has ever died from lack of sex.
The girl admitting to cheating while the person she cheated on is actively shooting at their door is like those people in horror movies who start yelling when the slasher doesn't know where they're hiding.
*looks around the corner slowly as they walk by*
promptly followed by
AGHAHAAAAAAAAAGHHAHAAHHAG *whilst running and tripping as slowly as possible*
A man shooting up your house and that not being a crime is WILD 😭 what state is this?!
It’s called lazy police.
There’s multiple states with laws like this. Colorado is one; the police won’t respond to an active shooter threat unless someone has already been shot. Texas is also like that. Florida is close, but their police are insanely overfunded and militarized so they’ll respond to anything if it’s a slow night.
@@queencatherineofaragon938 No, it’s called bad gun safety laws that the police have to abide by.
@@CharlieApples “The police won’t respond to an active shooter,” that sounds like lazy police mate, stop being a boot licker
@CharlieApples I seriously doubt it was not legal, they are just lazy o apathetic sometimes?
Break up with your ex.
You don't love him. You just don't want to be hurt or alone. Being alone is better sis. You deserve so much better. Change is scary but girl leave him. His physical attacks are only going to escalate. LEAVE. BE BRAVE AND LEAVE. DO IT FOR YOURSELF. ❤
There are a couple of updates
I really hope that listener in the 9 year relationship gets out asap. There were already a million red flags, but once she said he put his hands on her neck I got genuinely afraid for her life. Manual strangulation is by far the most dangerous form of abuse and biggest warning sign a physically abusive relationship will end in homicide and I fear what could have happened had her sister not been there to stop it. I may sound like I’m being dramatic but the statistics on that don’t lie. Obviously banging her head is also very serious because of the risk of brain damage.
That on top of the way it’s been escalating with the emotional abuse and now physical, the fact she’s afraid of him…I know she just wants it to go back to the way it used to be, but sadly a lot of abusers put on an act in the beginning to get you attached and drop it when they feel more secure and don’t think you’ll leave them. I would bet the fact she still took him back after dumping her for his ex already made him much more comfortable she would stay, and that is the reason the abuse is escalating lately. I really hope they don’t get married for that reason either, because it’s likely to make it even worse.
And I hope she has her sister or someone else that can help her safely get out of this relationship. Sometimes it takes an outside looking in perspective to see how bad something really is, so I’m glad you all told her to get out immediately and I hope this was the wake up call she needed. Good luck to you if you’re reading this ❤
sorry but the ages alone had me screaming get out. like i know 16 and 18 isn't too wild cause they probably were in high school together but after he graduates? i just can't imagine a world where i'm gonna look at a college guy dating a high school girl and not give it a bit of a side eye ON TOP of everything she described.
I'm so glad you mentioned the homicide. I have personally lost someone to DV and I can't bear to hear a story like this and know they could end up like her. Please to the OP GET OUT. Your family can help, and your friends
The husband who eats out after eating his punch for dinner has impulse control issues. The gambling is a symptom. The food eating is another symptom of the same impulse.
17:25 yes brandon!!! it’s so refreshing hearing someone else say this. I’ve been in therapy weekly for 5 years so far and I’m in a serious relationship with someone who’s neurotypical (im not) so I told him when we move in together, I want us to go to couples therapy, maybe once every two weeks or so. My bf has never gone to therapy but I want to expose him to it so we can work together to have an emotionally mature and strong relationship. I want us to have a productive, safe and healthy environment to work on our challenges together. We see each other as partners for life but we’re still young, so we need guidance. I’m so serious about him that I want our relationship to experience longevity, I don’t want any sort of resentment or bottling things up to accumulate over time and I think therapy while we’re young can help prevent that
That’s fantastic. If people went to therapy _before_ things take a turn for the negative, so much pain and trauma could be avoided. An ounce of prevention is worth a ton of cure.
My boyfriend and I are both in therapy separately and soon we’re gonna start going to couples counseling as well for the same reasons. No one is born with all the answers and sometimes you need an outside perspective from someone unbiased and there for both of you who wants both of you to succeed! love that more people are doing this!
Story: Should I break up with bf of 9 years
Me, getting ready to go on a detail post.
Story: Oh yeah he started getting violent and banged me against the bed when drunk plus he scares me when he’s drunk-
Me: WOAH WOAH SCRATCH ALL OF THAT- GURL PLEASE GET OUT THERE
Get out get out GET OUT!!!
What do you mean write a detail post? People can break up no matter how long they've together.
@yerinbaekscandlelight I think they meant they were going to write a detailed nuanced comment about the situation, but then they heard the part of the story saying the bf got violent, so they changed their detailed comment to just "get out of there!!"
@@dissipatedcloud Yeah yeah I meant that. I had a bit of thoughts, but the moment it started to get violent then everything is out the window. Doesn’t matter what I think anyway, but especially when something like that happens.
Never stay with a person who doesn’t give what time/energy/money they can to their family. The lady who just survived cancer reminds me of my aunt and her daughter who passed this month, at 67 and 47. They had both spent a long time taking care of narcissistic men who didn’t deserve their life force, but were following what they thought could give their kids a family. Your kids will always be better off when you stand up for yourself, they’ll see that you’re self reliant and that the other person made your life harder. If you stay and grin and bear it, they will think narcissism or consistent selfishness isn’t a dealbreaker, but it is, and this will be an obstacle to future relationships. Every family deserves a full life, without a mom being forced to do underpaid labor and overpay her salary towards household expenses because she was the “time-off pregnant person” in their relationship. How can you think pregnancy is time off? How can you make so much more than your spouse and not do what you can to make their life more livable???? He would’ve been happy to divorce her if she could no longer work, and simply stopped contributing to her half of the children’s lives.
It’s surprising how many husbands leave the moment their wife can no longer perform as she did when they married, if she is ill, in school, dealing with family hardships, or not providing the same at-home services and housework that he expects. It’s what more statistically likely for the man to get a divorce from a spouse handling a chronic illness, because being able bodied and constantly submissive and never assertive for their own needs is what a misogynist thinks his wife agreed to upon signing a marriage certificate.
The guy who eats all the food and then buys his lunch is substituting food for what he got out of gambling in the past.
Story 2, it's not a compromise if you're the only one giving everything up. Husband is the asshole, girl RUN.
--
And, oh honey, 9 years is too long to spend that way. Don't add a single year more.
The potato story 😂😂 just grabbing a handful of potatoes is hilarious
😂😂 yah I need her as friend, if someone did that to someone at my wedding when they are acting like that I'd be great full
The OP with the BF of 9 years needs to leave like yesterday. From the National Domestic violence hotline "If your partner has strangled you in the past, your risk of being killed by them is 10 times higher" 10x higher and has done it twice!! I need her and her sister to get tf out of there and leave that POS man as safely ad swiftly as possible.
Last story. The husband is essentially spending a quarter of his daily earnings on lunch
Me listening to teh listener story about the ab*sive poc: ...You're 25...
Me: realizing they've been dating for 9 years....
They started dating at 16, no wonder this sounded so childish.
Ya'll acted out the potato story amazingly LOL ya'll are great. I'd love for you guys to invite a listener to join in on a podcast.
I NOMINATE MYSELF. ._.
After the roommate story and the house getting shot up, she should've contacted the leasing agency immediately and gotten taken off the lease. NTA
1:04:40 I loved that whole acting bit 🤣 🤣 🤣 I was so excited to hear you guys would act it out 😭 My friends and I really enjoy that part of the podcast when it happens please keep doing it 🙏
A rare good landlord story. And yeah no if you're moving out due to horrible roommates like that its worth it to just formally break the lease (as in talk to your landlord and do the paperwork with them) and pay the fine on that in case they cause damage to the place after you leave that you would be on the hook for could end up costing way more.
The last story all I could think was “transfer addiction” it’s not that he’s a child persay more that he’s chemically imbalanced and needs more help than he realizes if he’s let the problem get as far as it has so many times
To the listener who isn't sure about breaking up with their boyfriend of 9 years: he is abusing you. He will end up unaliving you. You need to break up.
The lady who approached Madi was talking about it being "end days" and how God is a woman... Anyone else feel like she may have been in a cult? 😬😅
I think it might have been lol
also.. i love your name btw hahaha
@@mad3695 omg Madi!!! Hahaha I love your name too! Though sometimes I get confused when I listen to the podcast and think they're saying my name at first 🤣
The lady was a sex trafficker trying to recruit her. My roommate had the thing happen to her
the potato story skit 😂😂😂😂😂 NO PAPAS AMIGO !!
🤣🤣🤣 I loved the acting out of the potato story.
Ooooo never been so early! I’ve binged so many episodes the past month and half😂❤
The roommate is different and wild. If you wanna be 6 ft under go ahead, but don't involve me into this. 💀That's crazy.
.
I hope the person with the asshat boyfriend just break up with him, cuz he showed the kind of person he was after 4-5 years. I hope this person finds someone who actually loves them, and won't use their weird, toxic ex as a reason to mistreat them.
The cancer story is a perfect example of why traditional marriages don't work because there was no real love to begin with so it was one sided and went down hill... Traditionally marriage is transactional and for most people it's not gonna work
Agreed! My relationship is very traditional (except for the hole obey your husband thing, we are adults and can compromise 😂) , and it works simply because we both enjoy our roles in the household, he doesn't do well if he isn't working (he gets antsy like he has way to much energy to burn and it makes him irritated), and I've always loved the role of homemaker. I do not suggest it to people tho knowing it's not conventional in most relationships.
Story 2 - The husband’s needs are overruling OP’s here, and that’s not a healthy partnership. Couple’s therapy does not fix an abusive relationship, and OP’s husband has been financially, sexually, and emotionally abusing her. Couple’s therapy comes at the issues assuming that both parties are equally responsible for the problems. You can’t therapy someone into not behaving abusively-the problem is with the abusive partner’s mindset of entitlement and domination. It usually requires a specialized program to change bc you have to uproot the entire belief system.
This cancer story hit home so hard. My ex gave me hell for not working while going through cancer treatment. It was during covid lockdown far away from my family, we moved bc of his job, and despite being the only person I saw other than my doctors he had no affection or interest in spending time with me. When he finally ended it mid treatment the only reasons he could give were related to my illness. Thankfully I’ve met someone who actually cares for me and it took that to make me realize how much my previous relationship was lacking in love and care. Hopefully op moves on and finds someone who actually cares about her feelings and needs not just his own. Also ops husband is definitely doing financial abuse. Not okay.
"Put some uncooked chicken juice on the salmon." DEAD 😂😂😂
the skit is so much better when you know Mexico is in Central America 😭
damn im still trying to get over the fact they were together 21 years and she decided to betray their marriage. wow
The cancer story. He's a terrible partner. Coercing someone into sex is Sexual Assault. And he controls the finances and isolates her. Glad he's a good dad, but she deserves so much better
For the roommate story- I’m so glad she finally talked to the landlord. You should’ve spoken with the landlord from the get go, once the bullets happened. You were in physical danger, they could’ve saved you a lot of trouble from the beginning!
The act out scene has me crying
“Seasoned uncooked chicken” 😂😂😂
NEW HAMPSHIRE resident here!! We’d love to have you, Sam!!
❤ Grafton New Hampshire
It makes sense that Sam is so protective about his po-ta-toes.
The 2nd coming and god is a women people CAME TO MY DOOR… I live in an apartment complex and have never had solicitors before. It was wild… they talked to me for like 15 minutes 😂
The girl with the 9 year boyfriend. GIRL!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!? This dude was throwing 🚩 🚩🚩🚩 from the jump. You should have left his ass YEARS ago!!! And physical violence as well??? Cmon girl! you know the answer to this. don’t be a statistic
“At mc Donald’s you can sit down” 😂😂😂😂
My dad's girlfriend made my dad work up until the last 2 weeks of his live he had cancer and she refused to get a job and my sister came and put him up in a hotel cus his girlfriend was crazy and my dad was afraid of her cuz she would yank on his tubes that go down into his heart or his feeding tube when she got mad with him
Awesome episode guys 😂 But I’m dying to know, that financial advisor episode Brandon was alluring to, by any chance was it a Caleb Hammer segment? Sounds just like him. Haha thanks
It was Spencer Cornelia 😆
Aww thought I had the money 😂 Thank you gotta check him out
I NEVER hear male MLM pitches. Happy to hear they are spreading the love 😂
2:51 I remember this one time years ago way before I was born, I'm currently 26, and my mom had to put up with the same two Jehovah's witnesses coming to her house day and night to try to talk with her. She got tired of telling them to leave her alone, so one day she invited them in while she was playing her roommates corn and had a bunch of empty beers cans on the coffee table. They noped out of there and never bothered her again.😂😂😂
Couple’s therapy seems pretty common in the US, I’m from another country and I would like to try it because it sounds fun but I have never seen a couple’s therapist over here haha
Sometimes, I hear these stories and I don't want to be judgemental, but at the same time some of these posters are fucking dense. 41:35 he stopped treating you the way you specifically said you enjoyed, physically attacked you, and theres confusion for some reason on OP's part on breaking up?!?!?!? Do ppl not love themselves when they post this stuff?
I'm so certain they're talking about a clip from Caleb Hammer's show in the last story, lol
Yall goofy. Im here for it. ❤
That entire potato skit had me cracking up so bad 😭😭
Btw you are all GLOWING ❤
Love this ❤ , crazy story's
The cancer story it was ALMOST like my story except for the financial part. Your needs not being meet is just the loneliest feeling.
1:01:12 this entire section was super satisfying for my chaotic brain 😂😂😂
For the roommate story, can someone explain to me why she still had to pay lease and had the possibility of eviction when she already moved out? You can't be evicted when you don't live there. I'm so confused.
Because her name was still on the lease. So even though she technically wasn't living there anymore, she was still legally responsible for following the terms of the lease. She was lucky the landlord was so nice and understanding and took her name off the lease once they found out what was going on!
@@dissipatedcloud But earlier in the post, she said that she put all of it under her roommates name, I think? Also, why would she want to have her name still on the lease if she doesn't live there anymore?
@yerinbaekscandlelight she put the utilities (water bill, electric bill, etc) under the roommate's name, but OP's name was still on the lease. Getting your name off a lease can be a little more difficult, and the landlord has to be the one to do it.
grassy ass for the new episode 🇲🇽
That man has the impulse control of a toddler, and even many many toddlers can reason out keeping leftovers for lunch and not overeating constantly.
Yessss I’m here for the MLM shade
54:14
This line is cold asf
Brandon kicking knowledge this episode! Go B!
I love raw potato’s or tomato’s. Love them!! ❤
1:11:13 citing Dave Ramsey 😂 I watched that episode
I thought that show was called the ultimatum
The American version is but the original version is called Temption Island
There is another show called the ultimatum too and they are very similar..
The roommate story doesn’t really make sense. She said the police came because he didn’t want to pay for his Uber but Uber doesn’t work like that. Unless she’s using cab/Uber interchangeably
3:00 you were approached by cult members
Don't give these people your contacts or anything and don't go anywhere with them.
Oml these scenarios seem very abusive.
That 9yr relationship situation is just horrific
Really hope that all of them get therapy and gets away from manipulative people
I'm a man and i beleive in 100% comingled finances. It's not fifty fifty. It's one hundred one hundred. It's not. I have a ninety thousand dollar a year job and you have a thirty thousand dollar year job. Its we as a team earn 120.
I’ve eaten raw potatoes a couple of times in my life.
The cult of mother god ! Look it up I think that’s who Maddie ran in too !
I still eat raw potatoes 😅
i'm from NH sooooo.....
OMG, the 9 year relationship, make an exit plan. Don’t disclose it to him. Plan to skip town and be safe. Cut contact with him, don’t leave a forwarding address… he is nuts and can *ill you. that’s not a hyperbole, I’m genuinely concerned for you. He can *ill you.
Jesus. 1. It's only compromise if BOTH parties give something up. He's given up nothing. 2. It's not cheating if it's only flirting in a bar one night. It's emotional cheating if you build up a rapport either in person or messaging over time.
He's abusive and she needs to leave while she can
Early!🎉
Second 🥈😂
First? Lol.
Third! 😆
Can you guys Iron your clothes. Sorry I noticed it.
All of you are such well-rounded, lovely people. It gives me so much hope for the future the way you all empathize with the people in these stories. 🥹
The husband who won't stop eating his lunch situation has classic addiction behaviors. Many times addicts will switch their addiction when the current one is damaging them. He's becoming addicted to food because he couldn't afford to gamble anymore. A lot of alcoholics/drug addicts go to coffee or cigarettes for the hand to mouth feeling.