TIFU By Finding Out What My 8yr Old Son Was Saving For | Episode 103
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- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 2 ส.ค. 2024
- Episode 103 With Sahdia, Madi, Brandon, and Sam
TRIGGER WARNING: Story and Response about SA at (56:27 - 1:09:32)
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0:00 Intro
1:37 Entitled Parker Parked In My Driveway So I Blocked Them In and Got Drunk All Weekend
4:16 Response
5:48 AITA For Divorcing My Wife to Be a SAHM *FullStory - we just didn't hear all of it so we went back and reread it
10:39 Response
16:20 Top Comment
17:21 Response
24:27 AITA For Ripping Up an Application in Front of Parents and Telling Them to Get Out of My School
26:26 Response
29:54 An Entitled Mother Rips Open The Doors on My Ambulance, and it Does Not End Well for Her
34:59 Act Out
39:52 TIFU By Finding Out What My 8yr Old Son Was Saving For
43:58 Response
56:27 (TW: SA) I'm Rethinking Having a Child With My Wife Because of What I Just Found Out About Her Dad. AITA
58:30 Response
1:09:32 Let's Gab
![[ไฮไลต์] แบดมินตันชาย SHI Yu Qi (จีน) vs วิว กุลวุฒิ (ไทย) รอบ 8 คน | โอลิมปิก 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/f7z7taforOM/mqdefault.jpg)
The biological urge for mothers to stay with their babies after birth is reasonable, but to quit your job knowing you're putting your family in financial risk is irresponsible.
Not just that the selfishness to disregard your husband's and child's fathers need to be with the child also. She seemed incapable to look past her own needs to the needs of either of the other two people in her family imo
Application story: homie ASSAULTED A TEACHER over a movie and then they have the audacity to claim they were wrongfully kicked out. He needs to be in jail
Yes. He should never get a chance to drag the school. He should be arrested for assault.
I’d be petty and link the police report on all his negative comments 😂
They also could be charged with attempting kidnapping of the class. Just because they kept them on school property doesn't mean they still didn't take them from their guardian the teacher like who's to say if the person who's on the school didn't show up that the mom wouldn't just take the kids off property
What scary is I 100% believe they think they did no wrong.
They really think that was normal within their right behavior and that’s a dangerous couple.
@@autumn557 absolutely
Y'all are leaving out an important piece here: he worked outside the home to provide AND still had to do ALL the housework; she literally did ZERO things outside of baby. Im a stay at home mom of 7... his job is to provide, mine is to take care of the kids and home.
She absolutely was tah and he did the right thing.
7 kids or a 7 year old 😮
Yup. Absolutely not! If it was something that they discussed beforehand I would understand but it sounds like she wanted him to do all of the house labor and work outside of the house.
His one update made it sound like she actually did the housework, during the week, but wanted him to take over on the weekend. She's basically acknowledging that stay-at-home parenting is hard work, but then telling him that her hard work is more deserving of a break than his out-of-home job is, because instead of getting his days off work on the weekends...he had to take over her job. Smh.
Nope, details missing. I left my own comment but tl;dr the mythical MIL only appears after the divorce… aka the baby never had to go to daycare. He’s LYING!
Seven kids or a seven year old? 7 kids! Holy shit wow!
As a mom to a 1 year old, the dad is NOT the a-hole for divorcing over the mom staying home. Having your spouse stay home needs to be a mutual agreement, and working 80 hours a week and still being expected to do everything at home on your time off is crazy.
Fr
This! Stay at home Mom is a job. Just like how we get on men that expect their wives to work and maintain the house, we will get on women that choose to be stay at home moms and then want their husband to work and maintain the house. It's not fair. You can't choose a role and then decide to only do some of it.
To add the counterpoint to Sahdia’s feelings about being the child of divorced parents - my mom decided to stay married to my dad until I (youngest of three daughters) was around 28. I remember wishing they would just get divorced when I was in middle school. My mom did not like my dad and from what I have heard, she felt this way before I was even born, yet she endured ~30 years of an unhappy marriage. (I am sure my dad knew her feelings but decided to pretend like it wasn’t happening.) This absolutely had an effect on me, it was frequently scary and uncomfortable, and I held a lot of resentment toward them for staying together for so long. But also, to be fair, my mom probably would have gotten full custody, but still, I would have very much preferred a 50/50 split than living in that unhappy house for 18 years.
Yea imagine your dad working 80 HOURS!!! and then to watch him still work at home
One parent is never there
Like no way staying together will be the smart thing to do. Children 100% pick up on the resentment and the tensions. Staying in an unhappy relationship isn't good for anyone
I second this. Parents who don’t want to be together but stay for the kids, also has an effect on the kids.
Yes I’m a child of divorce and my parents got divorced when i was 3 so thats always just how it was, i never thought about it and my parents got along for the most part. I didn’t like going to my dads (i didn’t go that often) but i never thought of it like i hate my parents being divorced, i just hated going to my dads because it wasn’t my house. Looking back im sure i would’ve been closer to my dad if we were all together in one house but i got close to him when i grew up enough to be my own person
It's easy to think that you would have preferred it, but - in reality - who knows, maybe you would have disliked it just as much only for entirely different reasons.
SAHM story - dad is NOT the Ahole. Wife didn't try to compromise at all or even listen to his concerns. It's also bs that she made him do so much of the housework. You gotta do what works for BOTH of you.
It really makes me wonder if she didn’t bother trying to stay together bcuz she thought she’d be getting someone in the divorce (alimony, child support, ect)
You can’t make unilateral decisions like that, especially if it is directly against what you agreed to before. You can change your mind, but you can’t say I changed my mind so you just have to go along with a whole new program. I can’t be away from our child so you never get to be with our child or have any work life balance.
shes a freeloader!
I’m horrified by the last story. Her dismissing her father’s actions and being adamant that her father will be involved in their future child’s life is beyond scary. I would never intentionally put my child in that situation and the fact that she is willfully, adamantly going to do so….. honestly she shouldn’t have kids.
I wonder if she has some repressed memories about being abused by him as well and instead of dealing with it, her brain has convinced her to double down and not listen to the sister because it would retraumatize her and bring it to the surface.
In response to the SA story: Watched someone who was assaulted by a relative in childhood some 25+ years ago. That person is still in need of intensive therapy, still deals with the consequences.
Run for the hills away from Jessica. Her unwillingness to cut off her father puts any future child in danger.
Yes as some one who has been through that it's not easy on the brain and till this day I can't even see a picture of that person with out having some kind of emotional reaction
And she KNEW it was a deal breaker bc she hid it from OP.
SA story- As a victim of SA by a family member myself, I know that you are NTA. Another side of this is we should keep it in mind that the other family members including OP's wife was likely mentally abused. Perhaps brainwashed, gaslighted to make her not believe sister, convinced that Dad was just having "hard time" perhaps playing victim and made a "bad choice." Also denial of what the situation really was. This story makes me feel all the ick and OP wife or ex or whatever needs to seek help. I hate things like this happen to anyone in any way.
Studies show that it’s actually worse on the kids to stay in a marriage where the parents don’t like each other.
I’m the primary caregiver as I don’t have a traditional but my spouse still has chores to do around the house. There’s my list, his list and our list. We make it work. Also, no relationship is 50/50. You’re in a partnership sometimes you have to pick up your partners slack from time to time.
She was so shitty for having that man on literally everything but get to bond with the baby.
That’s false. You’ll need to post the studies because statistics show divorced and single mothers have the most issues.
My mom actively knows people who hurt me as a child and will bring them up to me in a kind and loving way as if they didn’t hurt me and will be upset with me I don’t want to hear about them.
It’s strange
I’m so sorry you have to deal with that
Wow. My mother has actually done the same thing more than once - my trauma experience has been bubbling over the past 2 weeks, the wound finally coming out of repression; it's comforting to know I'm not alone, but I'm angry as hell and sad for both you & I as well. Thank you for sharing 💛
@A.Panthera hi, I know it's a month later, but I hope you are doing well and getting the help, love and support you need to get through this!
That teacher that was held against the wall by that father should’ve pressed the charges against him for assault if you have physical markings from another person that is not OK and not to mention the trauma, she probably experienced
Oh that last story is so real and so frustrating. When i was 11 my 15 yo cousin started dating a 28 yo man who's kids she babysat. And instead of going to prison for statutory the way he Should Have, no one ever reported it and they got married when she turned 18. I've hated him from the minute i found out they were together because he was clearly a predator and everyone knew it, but after they had kids and he stopped letting her come to family gatherings "because her family was rude to him" everyone wanted me to just let it go and forgive "bc he found god and repented." My response was always, I'll be civil for her sake to prevent her from getting more isolated but i will NEVER forgive or trust that man. And then guess who was 0% surprised when he started spiraling and we found out he'd been abusing her the entire time. (Luckily she finally left him and he got 0 custody or unsupervised visitation)
Okay for the SAHM story...to Sam's point of have a list before you're married. My husband and I's pre marriage counseling actually did this! We had an entire text book full of life scenarios from finance, birth, grief, career, EVERYTHING and we studied each chapter before creating a consensus together. We even talked about sensitive subjects like what would happen if we found out pregnancy was terminal or our child was special needs, or what if one of us died. It was a tough 6 month program but I so highly recommend
Sooooo good. I’m glad it worked out for you. I’ll put this on the todo list. (Personal question ignore if too personal) I wanted to ask if you guys didn’t agree during the review of the book, do you think you’d be mad at dissolving the engagement?
For the SAHM story I think if you go into a relationship at 50/50 it should stay that way, she should’ve gotten with a man who wants a SAHM from the very start I wish people would think about these things before having kids 😮
I don't agree you should have to stay that way, but it should be a mutual agreement for any change. The needs of the family can change and make 1 person staying home make sense but both people need to agree.
I don't think she is wrong for changing her mind when the situation was actually upon them because it's really easy to say what you would do until it's actually time to get down to it, but she's 100% wrong for completely disregarding her husband and treating him the way she did.
@@jr5557I don’t agree cause they don’t have the funds maybe then I’d agree but that’s a huge lifestyle change to make on their limited budget
@@tthettaiit's doesn't make sense for their family that's when she needed to go back to work and was wrong. she's not wrong for having the feeling of wanting to stay home with the baby.
@@jr5557Yeah I agree she can want to be a SAHM all she wants just not with him
The last story is heartbreaking because the fact that families actually protect and defend this violent & destructive behavior is insane to me. I don’t care who it is to me pedophilia has absolutely zero excuse.
I did 60/40 with my parents as a teen. It was difficult and needlessly complicated, but it was way less complicated than when they were living in the same house without loving eachother
As a SAHM I don't blame the first OP. My husband and I split chores, and I cook on weekdays and he cooks on weekends, stay at home moms absolutely deserve a break, but one parents break shouldn't be at the detriment of the others. I think the biggest thing was that he was so focused on missing out on his childs life. The fact that his ex wife didn't care about that aspect is a huge red flag. My husband missed the first 9 months of our sons life because of his work schedule, and it broke my heart how much he missed. He's since gotten a much better job and he has gotten to be present for our daughters whole life and is such a positive and happy influence on both our kids. Being a SAHM is hard, but you can't just shirk all of the other household responsibilities on the other partner because you ONLY want to spend time with your kids
I was abused by an uncle for 9 years, from ages 6 to 15. The vast majority of my family members have been extremely supportive and have not made any attempts to push me to forgive him or let it go (I'll be 22 this year; he was arrested and sent to federal prison). However, my grandmother and my great grandfather both regularly contact him in prison, and my great grandfather frequently tells me I need to forgive him. It is to the point that my grandmother and I no longer speak. If someone told me that I had to allow him around my kids? We would NOT be in contact anymore.
There is no rough time imaginable that excuses molesting your own child. Period. End of story. He wanted to mess with a child, as a grown ass man, and his child that he was supposed to protect. He’s apparently admitted to it but excuses it as being a response to a hard time but apparently has no idea how you can’t force a normal person to do that no matter how hard things get. I would never allow my child around that man and I would have a serious problem with anyone who defended him.
It really hurts when your family chooses the person who harmed you over you. It hurts even more when they portray you as the one at fault, or just allow outsiders to believe that you are by not giving them the whole story. I didn't attend a funeral of someone in my family who I cared about recently because my dad who physically assaulted me would be there. I was the last person other than hospital staff to see him alive. But to everyone who doesn't know why I didn't attend, I'm just some asshole who didn't care enough to show up.
For the owner of the daycare / preschool for every bit of slander she sees on the review pages from them she needs to post the police report number and/or pictures of the bruises from their "observation" altercation
Also the fact that the mother kidnapped the children by removing them from the care of the teacher.
An unhappy marriage is worse than divorce. Either way effects the child, but I wish my parents got divorced. Hell on earth.
I feel badly for that elderly lady.... abandoning your kids with a neighbor without prior notice or consent, I feel like, is a reportable offense or even crime. She should have reported that neighbor eons ago.🙃😿
I believe you all missed a very important point on the divorce story. Yes, divorce may be difficult but it’s WAY harder to have parents who don’t like or love each other together. He did not only what was best for him, but also the best for his baby.
In the application story, both of the parents involved need jail time.
There is a book called Fair Play that also has a card “game” that is heavy geared toward married parents that helps couples understand the physical and mental loads that each person contributes during their daily life. This is meant to help them come together and be able to separate the daily tasks and understanding what each does.
When I was younger my mom and I lived in a one room apartment, not
One bedroom, one room everything was in one room, and I never thought we were poor. I never realize how much my mom suffer growing up how she sacrifice a lot for me and I never felt sad about my childhood. She always felt bad for saying that she didn’t give me the best childhood I always thought that I had a great childhood, so I understand the parent’s perspective of feeling like you never can give his kid what he needs
That’s crazy the dad wasn’t getting to see his child almost at all like dam that’s fucked up. He deserves to see his child to he nta. He made the right decision for divorcing her.
No one seems to be picking up on the fact that the sahm story husband can only do what he does now because his mother, a sahm, is watching his child for free
Because it’s a stretch to bring that up. She’s likely a retired or stay at home mom because her and her husband agreed upon it. The point is not whether being a sahm is good or bad. It’s about making sure you work together as partners and do what is best for your own individual household overall. He stated sooo many reasons why it was financially AND emotionally unreasonable for THEIR relationship.
@@shelby_button the wife was not in the right, but he’s still using the advantage of a sahm
@@V.Hansen.you’re missing his point
What makes it work with his Mom is that he doesn't have to work all those extra hours, which is essentially a 2nd job, to provide a roof for his parents. The financial situation with his wife was so untenable that after the divorce, he had to move back home and his ex-wife is struggling to provide for herself. He needed her to work because he needed her to bring an income into the house.
S2: NTA. It was probably better to divorce now before years of resentment set in. Even in our relationship my husband and I agreed that I get to stay at home if we had 3 kids. It would be more financially advantageous for me to stay at home when my paycheck is less than daycare.
Im so THANKFUL for you guys opinion on the first story. I went to stay overnight with a friend and she suggested i park in her neighbors driveway and i asked her like 5 times "are you sure its okay? Dont they also have a car that needs to be parked there?" And she told me it'd be fine. About 2 hours later its now 1 AM and the neighbor is just getting home from what looks like work and is rightfully upset that my car is in their space.
The pedophile thing this has happened in my family and half of my family has just moved past it as if it never happened and say the same thing that he’s a different person now. now he has a new wife and is no longer a family member of mine, and has adopted three kids and I’m terrified he’s doing the same to them, but since the people that it happened to did not report it he was able to adopt children and to be honest I’m not sure what I can do without proof…..
Oh no!! This awful…even when pedophiles want to change it’s DIFFICULT because there is no assured treatment that changes that. He should never be allowed to adopt children. If he has changed the best thing would be to keep a distance from kids.
As a child of divorce, im grateful. I rather my parents be separated than forced to be together. 50/50 custody isn't a huge deal. Pack a bag, deal with it, you get two Christmases
Married woman list of things to discuss before marriage (may add on to this later):
1) division of labor: my husband and I discussed what life would look like with me working and staying at home. We decided that if I worked then we would split house work up 50/50 and as a stay at home mom that I would do most of the house work because I am at home. He takes out the trash. We both agreed on this and you both should agree on whatever you decide as well.
2) finances: financial issues cause the most divorce rates. You should evaluate each others spending habits and agree on how you will deal with financial decisions. Ie. Spending and saving/ budgets…
3) know each others political and religious affiliations. You don’t have to agree, but it helps. Also, you need to have mutual respect in this area. Lay it all out. If you can’t deal now then you never will.
4) children: do you want any? How will you parent? Will our relationship be a priority even when/if we do have kids?
There’s probably more. I’ll think on it and discuss with my husband.
Omg the Natalie story surely charges can be pressed? And I read OPs comments she’s got cameras so there’s evidence too she’s a teenager
That's what I was thinking, security footage and photos of the bruising need to be reported to the police and charges need to be filed. That man cannot go around assaulting people, especially a teenager, with no consequences.
@@carissasherman8553Exactly! That’s where I think OP was a bit of TA caused more safe guarding for your employees you know, I also read she’s paying Natalie as she’s off so that’s good but an example needs to be made
Broke dad story broke my heart cuz my folks struggled a lot but they always tried to make us feel comfortable. Now I know what "I had a big lunch" means and it makes me wanna hug them so hard 😢
That act out was so out of control😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 great job, guys and gals ❤
Feel you Sahdia. my parent situation was almost exactly the same. One was home, one i was visiting/ forgetting things as a child. I was every other DAY & every other weekend 😭 was very brutal and annoying. Just glad to be an adult now
I’m a divorcee child and ima say I’m on dads side all the fucking way. Ain’t no way this man got 12 hrs with his baby out of 168 hrs in a week. And y’all think 50/50 is worse? No he is better off and he has to support two people and one is a baby that is expensive asf. He was right. She was in the wrong all the way. She was selfish. If it was that hard she shouldn’t have had a child to begin with. Like it sucks to say but you need to think about what’s best for the baby. Not for you. She was wrong.
Sam everything you said around 1:03:46 is completely spot on. I focused on this topic for my social work degree. The sex offender registry is racist and super destructive - I recommend a deep dive. Thanks for sharing and for being my favorite :)
In response to the first story, my dad was the one working an 80 hr work week in a situation like what OP laid out before divorce: I have an awful relationship with my dad and trusting people to show up or help me bc he was never around. I’m definitely on his side for choosing his baby
I wish these were longer
I know right. I love these videos.
The last one is more common than people think. It’s so sick. Couldn’t be me.
The SAHM wasn’t wrong for her feelings but very wrong for not considering her husband. I wonder if because they were together so long she took him for granted…. She forgot that the marriage is supposed to come first.
Also, I wonder if mom and MIL have animosity because daycare is so expensive that it doesn’t make sense to turn down free care from trusted family.
I do wonder if they ever considered counselling financial or couple's if they could've had a compromise where she at most stayed home one year then he did another year I saw a few couples with those sorts of systems worked out somehow this relationship seemed to have little to no communication weather on both or one part.
Having parents together in an unhappy marriage will always do more harm than divorce. It's proven. You can be salty you have two homes but you'd be damaged for life watching the people who created you hate each other. You will hold more resentments when your future relationships don't work because you've never seen one work 😂
The first story... I worked 80 hours a week at one point and literally started having hallucinations. And I wasn't able to do housework outside of that.
80 hours a week means 16 hours a day. There are 24 hours in a day. If you are on a regular schedule, you need 8 hours of sleep a day. This man had to go home after working 16 hours a day, spend probably and hour or two cooking for the family alongside other house work, and not even get a full night's sleep.
I know that being a SAHM isn't easy AT ALL, but the husband's work load probably made hers seem like a walk in the park. She's crazy and selfish.
Second story is a perfect example of why you need premarital counselling before you get married. NTA
About the checklist--that's what premarital counseling is for. However people change their minds, and life throws curve balls. Sometimes people are playing the long game or think the other person will change their mind eventually.
The SA "it was a hard time for him"... im wondering if that was how he reasoned to her when he ALSO SA HER. It sounds like a lie you force yourself to believe to cope. Especially when she saw what happened if you bring it up.
So true! I hope not though.
We had an uncle who did that to multiple children in our family unfortunately caused so much pain and ruined so many lives he barely got caught for doing it to his own granddaughter he did it to his daughter until she was 25 and to this day she defends him and doesn't see anything wrong with what he's done it's awful absolutely disgusting
Found you on TikTok, jumped over here, and subscribed on the first view!
This was quite a journey, and parts were healing too. I was right here on my couch reacting right along with y'all! lol - thanks for welcoming us in 💪🏽
the taser being like sam got stabbed omg 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Lmao, I wasn't expecting Maddie to act out the alarm during the ambulance act out. 😂
For the SA story. As someone who has very real experience with that. There is no middle ground. There was no question what happened in my house. He was pulled out of our home and confessed, and all the stories lined up. My mother was still communicating with him and bring him stuff before jail and would make me come with her, only me. When he got out of jail she asked me if I would be okay if he stayed with us until he got back on his feet. No. When people welcome them to stay in their lives in any manner and then leave it to the victim to come around or not come around, it is so dehumanizing to the victim. It tells them that they don't matter with actions, that their trauma isn't important, that the impact of that trauma on their life doesn't matter. That is a hard line that should not be crossed. That top comment speaks it all. Your children are not safe, they just get better at hiding it.
what sam said about not expecting anything to happen because of money issues as a kid really resonated in a way i wasn’t expecting 😭😭😭
So ah, the ambulance story that sounds like elder abuse. I hope someone looked into that for that lady.
Can we all please just acknowledge how funny the four of these people are???
I petition for SJ to be a regular part of the cast!! Maddie plus SJ in particular is fucking hilarious and wholesome. Y'all rock so much. Yes, even you Sam. ;)
I know Sam asked about a document to talk about those important topics before marriage. Though that's what pre-marital counseling is for. And a lot of those counseling sessions have workbooks to complete so you would technically have it in writing. It's a benefit I encourage all engaged people to utilize.
The story with the psycho parents at the preschool, that mother basically did a child abduction, the father assaulted the teacher and held her hostage, and the fact no charges were pressed is insane. The least she could do was rip the papers up, however I would've been scared to do that. The parents are obviously unstable.
with the last story the same thing happened in my family, and i’m one of the only people that does not associate perpetrators. i was never SA’d but heard lots of uncomfortable comments and there was (attempted?) grooming. my family continually proves that they would not have been there for me if more happened.
GREAT input Steph!
2nd story: Dad is NTA because mom didn't try to compromise at all, and as a result the baby ended up in daycare anyway when all she had to do was be empathetic. As a mom of a now 8 week old baby, my husband's relationship with our child is just as important as mine.
With the SA story it’s crazy how much I relate. Everybody in my family just act like it was a “little” mistake. I should get over it.
I had an ex high school friend get found out to be a pedo due to the police raiding their house and find two phones full of videos/picture. So messed up and I found out later they had tried to excuse their behaviour with their now ex-partner (who had no idea, feel so awful for her) by saying they got sad during covid and fell into a rabbit whole on the dark Web.
Like dude I got sad in covid and ate too much take out. You don't get sad and turn into a pedo. People are disgusting.
Dad is not the ahole for divorcing entitled stay at home mom. I was a stay at home mom, I haven't been able to work since I became disabled as I entered motherhood. A two participating parent household is the DREAM.
15:07 i hundred percent agree. My parents separated when I was 5 years old and they coparented. I felt that I was visiting my dad and never felt it like home however with my mom it feels like home. This unfortunately made my relationship with my dad not good because I also ended up moving to another state with my mom and stepdad.
Super relate to the convo about getting to go out to eat - it was always a special occasion thing for us, just birthdays, but i distinctly remember the joy of being able to get lemonade or chocolate milk sometimes instead of water 😅 Those buffets too though - Golden Corral, Ryans, and Shoneys were it as a kid. I would be jealous of other kids sometimes for sure, but I wasn't resentful of my parents ever. My parents did the best they could with what they had, and they kept us fed, and I think it did give me a sense of more gratitude for splurges when they could happen.
comment #2 asking for the reverse transition theme when its a bad/awkward transition
also just wanna say i love how real you guys are ab family struggles & growing up ! i definitely feel seen
Man, we were poor, growing up my whole life, and I tell you what the most exciting part for me was getting those clothes in a trash bag and getting to go through them I didn’t care who they belong to before they were close and they fit me and I was happy about it because I didn’t get new clothes unless it was school time I got three new outfits every school year and that was all so I was definitely excited to see that trash bag full of clothes come into my house every time hell 😅I’m still excited to get hand-me-downs😂
Although before my siblings came along, I pretty much got everything I wanted till I was 4 😅 We did have money back then, but the older I got the less we had.
Divorce story: I understand everyone has different feelings on this subject, but coming from a home where my parents should have been divorced, and never did, and how toxic and mentally damaging it was to go through, I feel like there shouldn't be such a negative stigma around it. I've been through my own divorce at this point and it was the best and most sure i had even been with a decision. It's honestly just a way out of unhappy situations.
Love y’all so much ❤
The act out was major fun!!!
I feel like this is unfair to the man… cause hoW in the hell are you a SAHM and your husband still has to cook and clean… wtf
Also yes divorce messes kids up but no one mentions how kids who live in a home with parents that resent each other is a mess as well
The act out saved my Monday ❤
1:08:10 - It's important to realize that repressed trauma isn't necessarily a conscious choice, it's more like .. involuntary erasure, your brain literally can't believe that this happened, because if it happened then you are no longer safe so your mind literally forgets that it happened to protect you and keep you safe...as if it never happened. And poking holes in that is, like, if you started trying to tell a clinically insane person that everything they believe is real isn't real. They could have a mental break or something if they are forced to dredge it up and confront the fact that something bad happened before they feel ready and secure enough to face it.
(It wouldn't be that she would be okay putting her child in that situation, it would be that her mind has literally convinced herself that this situation never happened so there is no situation that her child might be put in either. And the alternative is too horrible to even consider without lashing out as if the person trying to force them to remember or acknowledge it is the one making that horrible thing happen and should be stopped. It's not rational, it's a completely irrational emotional reaction/rejection, to try and keep their reality just a little bit less awful and more bearable.)
It's still not a good thing though.
SAHM Story - my parents have been divorced my whole life and was mostly 50 - 50. I never once felt that each home wasn’t my home. Yeah some things were a pain like you said if you forgot something but I never felt unloved by either of them or that I was “just visiting” one. Looking back I’m glad they did get divorced because they weren’t happy together. I would much rather grow up in 2 house holds where both parents are happy rather than 1 that they are always fighting or where one is putting in 90% of the effort like in this case. In my opinion growing up with separated or divorced parents isn’t as bad as you were making it seem. Like I said though that is my opinion. That being said growing up in 1 household where both parents are happy and putting in the effort will always be the best outcome.
I like the idea of a comprehensive list before marriage. I broke up with my fiance because he told me what I wanted to hear and after we were engaged everything changed. He was lying the whole time...
BEST actout in CL Podcast history! 😂 Gertie!
SAHM mom story: I’m a SAHM. If your life or your partner’s life is significantly worse married than single, your marriage isn’t working. Things are supposed to be more manageable and doable together than apart, or you’re doing it wrong.
Housework with one kid doesn’t take that long. There’s no reason that there should have been 28 hours of chores for him to do in his off-time. It’s 1-3 hours a day unless you just have too much house or are expected to prepare four-course meals. Three people don’t even make a whole load of laundry a day.
AND mil is open to babysitting her grandbaby?! She can get her “mom break” without breaking her husband.
I do really hope last story OP reaches out to the sister to show his support. I cant imagine how awful it must feel to have everyone turn on her like that and really hope shes got someone in her corner
Hi crew and SAM 🤘🏽
Golden Corral had me bawling
A pedo taking accountability and or doing time does not make them anybody less likely to still be a pedo. I feel like that needs to be said.
31:22 WAS THAT ROMEOS REFERENCE??? Thats where we take my mom for her birthday every year
Edit: its so inspiring and crazy to see people my age doing what ive dreamt of doing.
If y'all are also from Nebraska, that's way too cool. Glad i found this podcast
in response to the first story : as a child who grew up in a house where my parents should have gotten divorced and didnt i had a miserable childhood. there was constant fighting, tension, money issues (which meant i didnt ask to for anything i wanted), felt like i couldnt turn to either of my parents and was constantly used as a pawn in arguments. i think divorcing is better, yes im sure having to pack a bag was a pain in the arse but i would have jumped at the opportunity to have to deal with that if it meant my parents were happier . so glad he did what was best
I feel like its worth pointing out (in the last story) that if the sister hadn't put everyone on blast at the gathering, OP probably still wouldn't know the truth about his Father In Law, and his wife would clearly have been 1000% okay with allowing their child around the FIL while OP was oblivious of the dangers.
Honestly, I would have started video-ing what he was doing and/or immediately dialed 911. First. (Also, what right do they have to take other people's children outside???) If you don't want your kid to have screentime, take your kid and LEAVE.
The Wowwy tangent was epic😂
Unfortunately, the SAHM story is pretty common. A friend of ours had a similar thing happen to him except she wasn't his wife and he wasn't sure the kid was even his. She claimed it was but wouldn't let him do paternity test. She wanted him to be the sole breadwinner. He did his best but eventually it ended with the kid being taken away from the mom to be raised by the grandparents because she refused to hold down a steady job.
So is she saying that she wished her parents would have stayed in a marriage that i assume was not good for either of her parents? In this case if he stayed i can guest what will happen. The dad will work to provide and people will make him feel bad for missing out and working so much not knowing its the wife that pushed him to work more hours so she could stay at home.
My daughter’s name is Rory, and I must admit that I prayed every day of my pregnancy that she wouldn’t have a speech impediment 🤣🤣🤣
First story is chefs kiss 🤌🏽🤣🤣🤣
5:36 thanks for reminding me I'm unlovable because no one ever checks on me, Sam
My husband works 12 hours. I work 6 and still cook and clean. With that said, sometimes I don’t make dinner and My Husband will buy something. or sometimes I won’t clean that day and I’ll make up for the next day. We both understand each others needs. I can’t expect him to work 12 hours and then come home to clean and cook. Sometimes I need a break and I only work 6 hours. Sometimes I really feel bad for men, the ones I actually work and do whats needed for their families
Sahdia preaching about divorced parents. I felt that shit in my core 😭
53:09 my parents have been more open about finances now that I’m an adult, but growing up I never really knew how much money we had. I didn’t realize that new clothes were something people got often, I’m kid number 5, so I had clothing from my older siblings and my mom would trade hand me downs with her friends and we’d get new clothes that were pre loved.
About the SAHM, I saw this on FB and came here to see it full lol. Only on the fact that she forced what she wanted over him, making him to do it despite him not liking it, and refusing to hear him out on top of that... yeah NTA, no one should stay in a relationship where you aren't valued.
coming from a house where the parents started together for the kids..... Be resentful but thankful you didn't have to listen to your parents at eachother's throats everyday
Application Story: As a preschool teacher, I have seen similar situations. However, the dad assaulted the teacher and the mother "kidnapped" the other kids. Yes I say kidnapped because the teacher who is fingerprinted and employed is responsible for the wellbeing of the other children. This mother is a stranger and took the kids. This is kidnapping and both parents should have been arrested and sent to jail. This is why preschools always have locked doors throughout the day and always have more than one person in schools at all times!
1:00:53 sam wait what 😔 I’m sorry to hear that