r/Greentext | that's gotta zucc...
ฝัง
- เผยแพร่เมื่อ 17 มี.ค. 2022
- Top posts from r/Greentext on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below.
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Narrator ► / xycronva / @xycron
Also check out:
r/A*sholedesign | ARGHGHH
• r/A*sholedesign | ARGHGHH
r/Cursedcomments | do not click this video
• r/Cursedcomments | do ...
r/Madlads | STOP THIS MAN
• r/Madlads | STOP THIS MAN - ตลก
![ภาพนี้ก็ฮาเหมือนกันนะเนี้ย #2 SS8 [ พากย์นรก MEME.EXE ] | easy boy](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/RMhUgxxD49Q/mqdefault.jpg)
Rest in peace to that guy's grandpa, he really had a good friendship and a shared sense of humor with him.
And rest in peace to the poor cat, I'm happy he helped the person throught their life.
that guy's grandpa was a legend
That grandpa was amazing RIP
Imagine you want to jump on the bed but some guy in your walls starts playing I like to move it just to annoy you like a 60s batman villain
Pffft
Greentext is like a 50/50 Chance of either Suicide Inducing Depression or Pain inducing laughter at the depths of human depravity
@@kania9354 your life is a prime example of a joke
@@adix2204 Looks like the original person deleted their reply, and I would like to know what prompted yours
Sounds funny, almost like a joke
@@HumanTooth it was a pron bot
@@adix2204 wow they're still around? They just won't stop, they're so annoying!!!!
For me it's 50% depressing and 50% depressing because it's relatable (I'm depraved)
Okay I looked up what a DNR was and at first I was confused, but then I realized that it made sense. You're that close to dying and being free, and then you get saved and have to pay a shit ton of money for medical care assuming that was in America. It'd be way simpler to just die and I respect that.
Yeah.
Yeah I probably need to get one of those for myself then
its mostly for people who are terminally ill as most will decide its not worth the burden to keep living and having to pay for medical care
That being said, medical professionals are required to keep working to save a life until they see an active DNR
Its also for cases where you can't make a decision for yourself in that moment, but being kept alive would have you constantly suffering or in a vegetative state. Basically, a DNR is for situations where family members might argue about whether to keep you alive or not.
Apparently the DNR isn't perfect though, after the one case I heard about where a selfish family member forced the doctors or whatever to keep someone alive against their will.
That story about the cat hit close to home.
Just a few days ago, I lost my dog Honey to cancer through a similar situation. She was relatively young, but we gave her the best life we could have. She was happy when she went, she just fell asleep and didn’t wake up. I’ve sobbed about it every day since.
I still talk to her grave at the end of each day to say hi to her. I kept her collar and even got a few plush dogs that look like her to hug when things get particularly bad. I don’t think I’ll be over it at all for a good while, but I’m glad she had a good life and she went peacefully. She was and always will be the light of my life.
Man. Now I’m crying again.
I hope she’s up there playing with her old friends and eating as much of the food she couldn’t eat due to health risks as she can now that nothing can stop her, with that big goofy smile on her face and her tail wagging a million miles per hour. I like to think that even if I can’t see her anymore, her spirit’s still around and glad to be able to do what she never could. I miss my baby so much already.
F
Man now I'm crying 😢
Man am sad now
I know that she's up there in dog heaven. She sounds like she was so happy with you. It's hard to get through, but I know you're strong enough to push through it. You can do this!
I first started raising rats at 15 and when I graduated my first rat Yuki was 3 years old, very old for a rat. He died not far before my graduation and I was a mess all year, I almost failed my classes and barely pulled back up in time to graduate, it was devastating, in just 3 years he meant so much to me in my life.
One thing about bowling alleys I always wondered, why does it seem like most people seem weirded out that 25 pound bowling balls are a normal sight in my area.
I actually took bowling as a class in college. Never got any good at actually doing it, but I learned the rules as part of the class, and bowling balls are supposed to range from 14 to 18 lbs with 16 being the most common. If you've got a 25 or 30 pound ball it's illegal.
@@dadoctah Yeah, I had a feeling that 30 pounds was way too heavy for a bowling ball. Kinda seems like that greentext belongs on r/thathappened
I knew someone who barely showered..
Yes the skin gets really thick and gross af!
It got so bad mom had to hold them down and force shower. She scrubbed his skin so thoroughly it was beaming red and soft as a baby's bottom.
Bruh, be a real one and tell your friend to shower.
Edit: it was a preteen family member so no violation because it would count as neglect if a social worker saw his condition.
Yeah, what that guy had was skin buildup. Very gross and not good
i still dont understand how DNR's are supposed to work
"hmm the person may die in the next 5 minutes, let me search for DNR first" (5 minutes later) "ah no DNR so lets... oh"
So from my understanding, DNRs are usually for people already in hospitals with terminal illnesses or frequent health issues. So it'd be in their charts and the staff would already know.
If you don't know for sure that someone has an active DNR, you immediately begin working on them until presented with one.
It's for medical professionals. It doesn't mean you never saved that person's life in any situation, it's specifically about certain kinds of near death conditions.
Civilians are never instructed on whether or not other people have DNR orders, because that is protected under HIPAA laws and contract privacy, nor are they expected to follow them.
6:10 I mean, my teacher’s husband, a surgeon mind you, saved the life of a guy who was in a car crash. This asswipe tried suing him and the other drivers who helped. Luckily we live in IL where a good samaritan law exists and the judge throws out the lawsuit.
9:55 i want to learn to vomit on comand so if a girl annoys me i can look at her face and straight up vomit and try to not look at her.
Just when I was looking for a video to watch during tea time😌🤌🏼
Bri'ish
Bri’ish
Same
Filipinos : Goodnight
I was having my tea also.
Zucc memes will always go hard
🗿
Always will
This is a certified Connor Pugs moment
@@kania9354 th-cam.com/video/Kbx7m2qVVA0/w-d-xo.html
he's just so memeable lol at least he has that going for him.
Jumping on the bed is a euphemism?
I've never heard it used that way
Side note
That really changes the meaning of the monkeys on the bed song
Civilians dont have to follow DNR orders
its a part of the good Samaritan laws
only medical professionals have to acknowledge DNRs
7:05 Okay here me out. If someone eats a Brazil nut before "doin the deed", and the person has a nut allergy, that person can go into anaphylactic shock.
solid hypothesis me brethren thx for sharing 😉
1:00
“No more monkeys jumping on the bed”
Whole new meaning to that song
My brother sells original nfts of his own blender models that he took the time to create. I don't really understand the point of it all but if he were selling it as commissions, I think he'd make just as much money without being ridiculed for doing so
Maybe he enjoys the ridicule?
@@mrr1132 are you implying that he's a masochist?
@@mrr1132 -*why?*
I can shed some light on the last one perhaps. It took me about 30 years of being an adult until I finally figured out that media portraying sex as a "gift" or "reward" that women bestow upon men if they've somehow "earned" it was all a bizarre fiction and that many, perhaps most, enjoy it as much ,or more, than men and are eager to get laid just as men. Do I feel dumb thinking, for almost half a century, that TV/movies portray how real life people interact with one another? Why yes ... yes I do.
Lmao yeah, Hollywood is wild. There is *technically* a difference in libido between the sexes, but it is BARELY anything, 99% of it is just weird societal standards.
Actually the opposite is true; showering less makes you more likely to develop blemishes and acne because of how dirt and grease and other things affect the skin from long term exposure. Basic soap simply binds to non water soluble contaminants, such as oils, and makes them able to be carried away with water
8:39 now I'm just imagining walking past an elevator and hearing a faint "yabadabado!" from inside.
Just once, I would like Robin to introduce himself as "the only good one."
1:13 I read it like “be me 5 years old” and was bouta judge the women as to why she thought a 5 year old was having sex. Then I realized I’m just dyslexic and don’t know how to read…😅
9:11 Well what do you expect from a guy with the last name of Goodman He’s a very good man
I can respect a smart business move
@@notroboteva7601 ok but what’s the relation here like what prompted this specific comment
damn bro the cute smol cat one almost made me cry
@@kania9354 SHUT THE DUCK UP, WE ARE GRIEVING
@@mattn0414 robot person go br
Some CEO's personally pitch their own crap to give us rubes the impression that they stand by the "quality" of their product/service, and/or their organization is more "personable/family-oriented" than their competitors.
The said thing is the genuine one (because there's rarely more than one, though there was that one time...) is completely buried under the mountain of shite.
actully its healthier not to shower everyday since scrubing your skin with soap removes the natural oils from the skin that protect it from bacteria... you can still keep healthy hygeine without showering every day or twice a day/// 2-3 times a week is good, same goes for hair & shaving.
I have bad chemical dermititis from most body washes and shampoos. I simply can't shower with soap everyday.
Although I did find a fun thing using a charcoal soap bar and micellar water where I soak the bar and make a thick liquid soap that's really gentle
The cute smol cat one almost made me cry ngl…..
1:25 I NEEDED THIS LAUGH IN MY LIFE
“I’M A SALESMAN, I WAS NEVER IN IT FOR THE MONEY!!!”
-Spamton Z. Spamton, 2022
The hard part is trying to figure out which 1 percent of these are actually real stories.
Bro, that I like to move it guy's neighbors must be so pissed off lmfao
I like the mix of disturbed, cringe and wholesome posts on 4 chan.
5:20 It knew what it had to do. It didn't want to, but it knew the ultimate way to make them feel better. Precious.
7:29 the jalapeñis
It's weird, I've always been kind of aware of the whole meme culture for years and years now. So I've never really seen much of a difference with the harambe memes starting an uprising of memes being mainstream. But I guess that's just me...
Being aware of something and being immersed in it are two entirely different things... Just like how people were "aware" of the internet in the 90's before it went mainstream in the 2000's. Internet memes only truly went mainstream after the 2016 election when people in power realized it was a more effective means of propaganda and spreading of political ideas than all forms of legacy media combined... My friend is actually writing a paper on the subject called "Memetic Warfare in the Age of Information".
0:51 Nice Psychonauts reference
He read “get a call from a random number” at 9:18 and as soon as he finished the sentence, I got a call from a random number.
that thing about showering: after about a week new kinds of bacteria proliferate which break down the products of metabolism of the original ones, destroying the smelly chemicals. there might be sth to it
Why did the one with the depressed guy and the cat make me cry???!
5:30 that actually made me sad lol
Girls- "Omg, he didn't cry at Titanic, do boys even have feelings?"
Boys at 5:10
F smol cat :(
I literally started bawling like that’s the saddest thing I’ve seen this week
I had a girlfriend who got mad at me after watching a video I loaned her because "you didn't *tell* me The Brave Little Toaster was so *sad*!"
7:21 -- shouldn't have used an enchilada as a fleshlight.
i knew exactly where the last post was going as soon as i saw the image
WHY DOES IT ALWAYS TAKE ROBIN POINTING OUT THAT THESE ARE FAKE FOR ME TO REALISE THEY ARE FAKE
i thought that the paper was a deed to a farm from his grandpa
This was to much I am crying 😭
>be me
>neurodivergent, have to watch videos most of my free time cuz understim cure of choice
>watches a greentext video
>sees r-slur in a _lot_ of posts
>ughpeople.jpg
It's 4chan. I don't know what you expected. Be glad none of this is from /pol/.
@@lepidotos yeah, I was just hoping the posts picked wouldn’t have it there at least. Or that the suffix they seem to love adding of the last few letters of the word wouldn’t be read out at least. What’re you gonna do tho 🤷
(And I don’t use 4chan at all so I don’t even wanna know the part of it you mentioned, guessing it’s horrible over there)
Third video on telling people how much I love emkay
1:00 reminds me of a time in high school I thought banging and hitting were the same thing
“Why are they banging that trash can”
💀
Huh, boyfriend at 8:19 is pretty smart.
8:15 anon's bf is a fucking legendary. probably broke up with him but still. fucking. legendary.
That move it move it meme was great
ahhh the greentext ones are some of my favourites
5 monkeys jumping on the bed has a whole different meaning now...
For the facebook salesman one, its just how it is.
I mean, every jobs sell something. You sell something. Everyone sells.
It can be either products or services. It can also be a branched sub categories of them or a combination of any said sub cat.
No one can escape selling.
Being a direct salesman still suck tho.
The last one caught me offguard ngl
Lots of men who like fight club like it because they want to be Tyler Durden, not because they understand what's wrong with him. Maybe a thorough analysis of Fight Club made Anon seem less threatening to his gf.
Hope you do more green text and Tumblr since they were really good.
9:36 nah Y2K man. Think about it. Everyone said the computerized systems won't be able to handle the change from 1900s dates to 2000 right? And as far as we saw, nothing happened to computers on New Year 2000, right? But what about the computer everyone keeps claiming we're inside of? The simulation? Oh you all wanna talk about this being a simulation, so there's your answer. On New Years 2000, the simulation glitched because of the new date and the new computerized technology within the simulation. Only 1 year later, 9-11, and it just snowballed from there and the timeline changed dramatically.
Now personally I don't believe this because I just see the big picture, life sucks, humanity sucks, things are getting BETTER but because no one alive today had to live as a caveman, or a tortured peasant under a sick king in 13th century France, or had their entire nation kidnapped to go be slaves, it all seems worse and scarier in your perspective because the only perspective you had before was your sheltered childhood of never seeing how bad the world is. Within a person's life, things seem to get worse and worse as childhood wonder fades into existential dread, as a species we are improving exponentially, even if we still have war, shoot gorillas, opress each other, and have diseases kill millions of people suddenly. We're still doing better than we ever were before.
But if you like conspiracies, please perpetuate my fun version where Y2K actually happened and that's why life is backwards now, I worked really hard on it lol
That seems like a fun theory, I kinda wanna believe it now
That is an entertaining idea.
Also, I'm surprised that isn't common knowledge.
> Somewhere in Business
The last one is legendary
I love his reaction to the chess one its so funny, he just looses it when it says: what the fuck is the point of this?
Nah nah. Sounds like tic tac toe. That game is RIGGED
My favorite sub
Bruh, This came out at 3AM
I'm watching this at 7AM now.
This is just wholesome trollage
i took a week-long vow of silence in middle school and i got in trouble in english class
Oh god that cat one broke my heart
I'm not crying your crying
@6:54 I did that once, although the "motivation" was depression. Even my mum (who would usually be the one to tell me I was starting to smell) didn't notice I hadn't showered in over a month. I did eventually start showering again; and years later when the depression got worse and I stopped taking care of myself, I never reached the magic shower-free equilibrium the second time.
5:46 the fact that it’s .iso and not .jpg makes me think it’s an original Xbox game (fun fact, the only way to emulate them is to use a .iso image, whereas emulators for other consoles can use multiple file types
3:06 I'm here for it.
the one about the cat hit too close to home.
Only for fans over 18 years old close-up.online
tricks I do not know
Megan: "Hotter"
Hopi: "Sweeter"
Joonie: "Cooler"
Yoongi: "Butter
So with toy and his tricks, do not read it to him that he writes well mamon there are only to laugh for a while and not be sad and stressed because of the hard life that is lived today.
Köz karaş: '' Taŋ kaldım ''
Erinder: '' Sezimdüü ''
Jılmayuu: '' Tattuuraak ''
Dene: '' Muzdak ''
Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis.
Aç köz arstan
Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon.
Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu wins taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. '' Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt '' dep oylodu arstan.
Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu. # 垃圾
They are one of the best concerts, you can not go but just seeing them from the screen, I know it was surprising
💗❤️💌💘
The cat one is wholesone AF
3:05 ~ 4:00 is the best big brain move.
Also me, in the other apartment: [bangs on the wall] "What the hell is wrong with you‽ ... Turn the bass up¡"
Fight club is a pretty good movie
5:26 I had a story somewhat like that
Near exact
ON TIME ✨✨
the video title looks like something you would find in a dad joke book.
Can we start a go fund me for that knob zuckerburg to get a proper haircut?
damn, that second to last one. i hope i get that lucky
Yes
0:50 hoping that was purposefully a Psychonauts (game) refrence
That last one was pathetic
i want to comment about the kitty one but its too sad and sweet to say anything about
THAT I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT ONE OMG
"how"
1:00 omz that's Lawd Bingus~!!
Bowling balls can't be heavier than 16 lbs
Rip smol cute cat
So "5 little monkeys jumping on the bed" is about a gay 5-way??!
yess
amazing
Was that a psychonauts reference I heard
0:01 Well to get more [[kromer]] and prevent on [[LIVING IN A GODDAMN GARBAGE CAN!]]
1:24 Yeah that's exactly how chess goes tf is the point
IM HERE ON TIME FOR THE FIRST TIME
YES
Same
Your Content Is Legendary, Cures Depression 99% Of The Time, More Than Worth It For Subscribing
Ok bot
I Just Like His Content
@@diamondjitterz6400 what person capitalizes every word?
@@literallypatrickbatemen Whats Wrong With That?
Nice title
That's fair
What website is this? I feel like it's 4chan.
I was mute for 7 years for no reason.